"And the night... shall last... FOREVER!"
Nightmare Moon cackled loudly as she turned into a blue mist and faded away, as ponies beneath her former position started to panic.
And then there were a pair of loud BANGs, as two rounds passed harmlessly through the mist.
"Shit, I missed," Twilight grumbled, her gun held firm in her telekinesis.
"No, silly, she's mist!" Pinkie helpfully added.
"Pinkie I swear to all that is holy if you do not stop I'll shoot you too."
"Don't worry, Twilight," Applejack said, "we should be able to find her nearby."
"Wait, hold the phone!" Rainbow Dash said. "How do we know 'Twilight' here isn't working for Nightmare Moon?!"
"Rainbow Dash, I just shot at her with a fucking gun," Twilight deadpanned. "If I was working for her, I'd be the worst employee ever."
"She has a point," Applejack backed her up.
"Applejack, darling," Rarity started, "is there a reason you're so okay with this?"
"Rarity, Ah'm the group's token redneck farmer stereotype. 'Course I'm gonna like guns."
"Ah. Fair enough."
"Enough talk, we gotta find her at that old castle full of plot convenience," Twilight said. With that, she left the town hall, gun hovering in front and the other ponies who could tentatively be called friends following behind her.
After enduring some traps that went exactly like you remember but with more profanity, the six ponies had reached the old castle.
"So, do we have a plan?" Rarity asked.
"Go in, shoot the bitch, and go home," Twilight said simply.
"Well, points for being simple," Rainbow chimed in.
Soon after they entered the castle, they found Nightmare Moon herself standing at the far end of the hall, giving an evil smile, surrounded by odd spherical things.
"So, you finally made it here. Not that it will matter, because without these," she said, gesturing to the stones around her, which they just noticed had various symbols on them, "you'll be powerless!"
Before any of them could do anything, she reared up and smashed them all, the light of dying magic filling the air as they shattered.
Nightmare let out a long evil laugh. "Now, what will you do, I wonder? Maybe if you start begging, I won't-"
Her threat was cut off as Twilight started firing at her, each bullet meeting its mark as Nightmare Moon screamed, and then lie still.
"Well, that was easy."
"Oh, uh... huh." Rainbow Dash, for the first time in her life, was at a loss for words. "You know, I didn't think that would actually work."
"Yeah, I thought for sure she'd do some fancy magic mumbo jumbo to keep from getting shot!" Pinkie spoke up.
Fluttershy said something, but was too quiet to be heard clearly.
"For fucks sake, Fluttershy, speak up," Twilight said.
"A- Are you sure... there wasn't another way...?" Fluttershy said clearly but slowly, wilting under Twilight's glare.
"Why look for other ways when this works?" Twilight asked simply, still hovering her gun nearby.
At that moment, the darkness outside gave way to sunlight, and Princess Celestia entered the castle behind them. She had an air of elegant poise, but that was shattered in favor of shocked bewilderment when she saw not the reformed figure of her sister, but rather the still-warm corpse of the same.
"Oh... I see you've... already dealt with it, Twilight," she said, hiding a sad undercurrent in her voice.
"You're welcome."
Celestia trotted up to the body, holding it sadly. "And although I understand why you... handled it this way, she was still my sister."
"You're welcome."
With that, Twilight turned to leave. "Come on, let's go before Spike burns down the tree, the dumbass."
Hesitantly, the other five ponies followed, leaving behind the monarch grieving for her sister's demise.
Something something meta fic, something something downvoted.
Something something meta comment, something something upvoted
Instead of saying 'something something' this story started off with 'this looks like a silly stupid idea that's probably funny' then immediatly started with 'I'm just gonna point out a stereotype and not care if it's funny or not' then have Twilight immediately murder Nightmare Moon, Celestia being depressed about seeing her sister murdered and then Twilight's all bold and saying 'your welcome' like she just handed Celestia a gift from god...I'm sorry I first thought it would be a silly story to laugh at...then I noticed that this is way too stupid to like. It's like the 'Disgruntled Friendship Student' story where Twilight's just being a bitch because bitch...
That...
Eh, I can tell I don't want to read any further after this chapter. I can imagine why it's going to be amusing for others, but for me? Well, the stereotyping and Twilight just being flat out unlikeable in the extreme without being all that funny...
Eh, have fun writing this I guess. I won't be coming back to it anytime soon.
Annnnd upvoted.
I resemble that remark." "Rarity, Ah'm the group's token redneck farmer stereotype. 'Course I'm gonna like guns." LOL but not my kind of story. No down vote I don't do that.
I'd been juggling whether or not to read this and decided to give the first chapter a go.
I believe I made the right choice here. *moves on to next chapter*
Twilight makes a surprisingly good Punisher.
Well that ended about how I expected it......LA few less dead bodies then expected but I'm sure the next chapters will ether have constant number of bodies dropping or more.
We need waaaay more of this.
7750982
REALLY GOOD PUNISHER
EXACTYLY HOW I WOULD HAVE HANDLED THE SITUATION. ALTHOUGH I WOULD HAVE USED A MINIGUN.