"I'm so glad I have permission to call you TD. Your staff are a very welcoming, open-minded bunch."
I stifled a grin as I led Kristen through a tour of my palace. "Well, they never knew me as TD. In Ponyville, the place where I first showed up, they still call me TD there, so it's not like you'll be totally alone in that regard. I've always been Antares to these ponies."
Kristen rolled her eyes. "Well my goal is to change that. At the very least I'm going to let them know you aren't this big god thing that they have to worship at all times."
I frowned at my sister. "Well, I am big. In terms of body size I'm easily the largest pony on the planet. In terms of god, I guess it's a matter of the power gap between me and them. I'm immortal and can move the sun and moon if I wanted to. The average pony has a lifespan equal to a mayfly compared to mine." I shrugged. "At least that's how I'll perceive it after a few hundred years. Right now I'm younger than most of my staff even."
"That's gotta be a little trippy."
"Yeah, you're telling me. Because I'm an alicorn, I look a lot older than I am. We're talking thousands of years here."
Kristen tilts her head. "So because you look a lot older than you are, people are just going to assume that you're the older sibling."
"Yeah, probably."
Kristen frowned and would have probably crossed her arms if she wasn't using them to walk with me. "Great. I'm supposed to be the older sibling."
"Well, you will be. It's just that our subjects won't see it that way."
Kristen scowled at me for that little remark. "No, they're your subjects. No offense, but I really don't want to be holding court and stuff like that. I'm not really the politician type."
"I wasn't either before I started this job," I pointed out. "You kind of get used to it once you start picking up the subtle nuances of the job. Having said all of that, it's totally fine if you don't want to get involved in the politics here. Maybe you could join the Baltimare Swim Team, or something like that."
"Or underwater welding? Salvage diving, maybe?" Kristen said hopefully.
"You probably could," I admitted. "We've got a few oceans, but nothing that would need welding in. Our technology hasn't really advanced to that point. Maybe you could work for the navy, although ours isn't quite as big as the ones the griffins have."
"Maybe I could work there, then?"
"Not actually a good idea," I replied. "The griffins and Equestria are technically allies, but..." I spun my wing as I looked for the correct phrasing. "They've gone through a lot of stuff lately. They used to have a clan system led by dukes and one duke who was the emperor. During the war one of the clans took over the country and killed the current emperor at the time. In retribution, his daughter went back to Griffonia with some loyal griffins and killed everyone from the rival clans, down to their newborn children just so they wouldn't rise back up."
Kristen's eyes went wide, and she actually stopped in her tracks. "Wait, she killed kids? Isn't that totally wrong?"
"She got some flak for it from the other countries, yes," I admitted. "But that's how she had to keep power, I guess. If she hadn't then some griffin from another clan would have just risen up and tried a coup himself ten or twenty year later. The clan system was kind of outdated. But... yeah, we didn't really like the whole 'slaughter of newborns' kind of thing."
Kristen scoffed and shook her head. "Jeez, dude. Bet that was a bit of a shock to you when you found out."
Alicorn or no, I'm still pretty sure I can't effectively lie to my sister. The mere fact that I didn't immediately respond with something to the effect of "well of course it was" is pretty much the same as me saying "no, it wasn't a shock at all." Kristen raised and eyebrow and frowned at me.
"Dude, I'm really hoping you say something in the next few seconds. Specifically something about how you didn't see it coming and you were pretty mad when you found out that she killed kids."
"Kristen, what you have to understand is that her culture isn't like ours, and when--"
"Holy cow, dude, are you serious?!" Kristen shouted, moving in front of me and turning around so that she blocked my path. "What the heck? And you just let this happen?"
My eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and my wings twitched at my side as though they wanted to flare out to show my dominance. I kept my emotions in check, though. Yelling back at her or appearing aggressive like that would only lead to a shouting match between the two of us. "I didn't have any hard evidence that she'd do it, so it's not like I could have stopped her. Besides, we were at war with Griffonia at the time, and the coup ended that front, which probably saved tens of thousands of lives, so--"
"Are you seriously justifying killing children to me?" Kristen snarled, slamming her hoof on the floor. "You were going to be an elementary school teacher, TD, and now you're the prince of kids, or whatever. You're actually trying to tell me that you're okay with this."
"And when in Equestria did I say that I was okay with it?" I retorted. "I hated the idea, but at the same time I couldn't do anything about it! If I could have just stomped my hooves and made sure the children were safe then that's what I would have done! We needed Kathyrine on the griffin throne, and that's how her species does power transitions. She is not the first griffin to take power by doing that, and she's probably not going to be the last. We may be the most powerful nation on the planet, but we are not the planet's police."
Kristen's expression hardened, and she actually flared her wings out at me. Major faux pas to do that to royalty, but I gave her a pass because she's my sister. I still had to restrain myself from flaring out my own wings. I didn't know how much pony psychology was ingrained in Kristen, but if she got the mindset of a pegasus alongside the body, then a larger wingspan flaring aggressively would freak her out, and that could lead to all kinds of nasty scenarios, none of which would lead to the argument finishing quietly.
"You still should have done something."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "What? What should I have done? Sent my troops to take the country back with her? Well then that's seen as an international incident. I essentially invaded Griffonia and installed a puppet ruler on the throne. True or not, that's how it would be seen. Kathyrine had to do it herself. Maybe I should have gotten all of the children out of the country first? Well on top of that being kidnapping, that lets the dukes know that something is going on, and that's not even touching the logistical problems of getting a bunch of children out of the country. If even one of my soldiers is caught or seen then that's a huge problem. Now the Equestrians are kidnapping griffin noble children? Boy, I'd love to see how that one would play out."
"You could have... you--"
"I did everything I could have. I could only do so much to stop her." My glare slowly faded, and I sighed, rather tired of the whole conversation. "Look, I've already told you that I'm immortal, you know? I have to constantly play the long game here. As harsh as it is to say, I have to make impossible choices when it comes to war. A few kids die in a bloody coup, but that means that a second front isn't opened in a war and my country isn't being attacked from both sides. If I have to fight on a second front, that means I have to up draft numbers and/or divert resources from the western front and move them to the east, which means that the army fighting half a million minotaurs gets considerably weaker. Because Kathyrine took over, I don't have to open up a second front. Yeah, Kathryine had those kids killed, and it's tragic, but when I compare them to the untold thousands who would have died otherwise..." I grimaced. "Yeah, sorry, it's not even a choice, and I think you would have done the same thing in my place."
Kristen's glare didn't fade away, but she did fold her wings back. "I get it, I guess. Don't like it, though."
I scoffed incredulously. "And you think I did? I would have given almost anything to save them, but that wasn't an option. A dozen griffin children versus thousands of my subjects, though..."
"Yeah, yeah..." Kristen turned around and began walking away. I moved beside her and kept pace. "So the war is over though, right? You aren't going to have to make those kinds of decisions anymore."
"For the moment, yeah, not those kinds of decisions. However, that still leaves me with a hundred other unwinnable situations on top of the ones that require a fair bit of thinking to pull off." I flatten my ears and groan to myself. "Because ruling a nation will never be easy."
"Unless you wanted to form your own micronation," Kristen mused. "You could call it 'Kickassia'."
I snort and actually manage a grin at the thought. "Tell you what: I can give you an acre of land and you can rule that if you want."
Kristen shook her head. "Sorry, if I'm going to make Canada here in Equestria, I'm going to need more than one acre."
I raised my eyebrow at the idea. "Canada in Equestria, huh? So should I make you a princess ruling in Vanhoover, then?"
Kristen paused long enough that I figured she didn't completely object to the idea. It did make sense that she'd want to bring Canada to Equestria. A little bit of home would do a lot to help her adjust to life here. Like it or not, she wasn't going back to Earth anytime soon, if ever. I'm sure I could figure out some way to add some Canadian flare to her life. Not sure if it would be a good idea to build an exact replica of the Edmonton mall, though. After a few moments, though, she shook her head.
"Not really sure I'm the ruling type. Give me a pet octopus, a stretch of ocean, and some scuba gear and I'm fine with that."
"The pet octopus might actually be doable," I mused, causing Kristen's ears to perk up. "I'm not completely sure of all of the logistics, but you wouldn't be the first pony to have one."
I could practically hear the squee in her voice as she said, "Do you really mean it?"
"I don't see any reason why not."
"Yes!" Kristen leaped into the air, her hoof extended. Given her pegasus nature, she jumped higher than an average pony, enough so that she'd need to actually use her wings to land safely. Just as she reached the peak of her jump, she realized that she'd jumped a little higher than she intended, and instantly began flailing her wings around, hoping to gently glide down instead of plummet like a stone, which is what she did anyway. I lit my horn and caught her just before she hit the ground, preventing any injuries.
"We really should get you some flying lessons," I pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kristen grumbled, brushing herself off once I let go.
"It does mean you can go skydiving without a parachute," I pointed out. "I think you'll find you like being a pegasus."
"Of the three options, this one seems to be the least worse," Kristen admitted.
"You'll still need to learn about the other two tribes, of course," I pointed out. "So--"
"Mention school again, I dare you," Kristen said through gritted teeth.
"Okay, okay, I won't," I said, holding up a hoof. "We'll talk about it later, then. For now..." I stopped in front of the guest rooms and motioned to the door. "Your room." I lit my horn and opened up the door, revealing a well furnished bedroom not too much different from mine. It even had the kitchen extension complete with stove and fridge. A pegasus maid flew around the room, dusting the ceiling fan while a unicorn maid straightened out the bedsheets. Both of them stopped when they heard me come in, and immediately sank into bows.
"Prince Antares, we have nearly finished Princess Kristen's room. We can certainly get out of your way now, if you wish," the unicorn maid said.
"Oh, don't mind us. Just keep doing what you're doing," I said. Both of them bowed to me again, then resumed their tasks. "So, what do you think?"
"I think... um..." Kristen glanced at the kitchen area and shook her head. "Unbelievable."
"You're living in a palace," I pointed out. "I'm not going to have a cheap, run-down apartment available, you know."
"I know that, but I still never thought I'd ever live anywhere this nice, you know?"
"We do our best to make sure that the standard of living for anypony living in the palace is high, Your Highness," the pegasus maid said, bowing to Kristen. "We hope the conditions meet with your standards."
"Yeah, they definitely do," Kristen admitted. "I've never lived in a place like this."
The pegasus maid gave Kristen a happy little smile. "We are most honored that you think so, Your Highness. We will take our leave now."
Both mares bowed to us, then filed out of the room. I smirked down at Kristen, who was still staring around at the room in awe. I put a wing on her back and chuckled. "If it's too much, you can mess it up as much as you like. It's yours to decorate as you see fit."
"I don't even want to know what yours looks like," Kristen said, her eyes still wide.
"Honestly? Not too much different than this. Of course, you're not allowed in my room. Nobody is except Celestia."
"Really? You got a lot of top secret weapons designs in there or something?"
"No, it's just my sanctuary. It's a place where I can get away from everything and just relax. No decorum, no pretending I'm happy all the time, just a place where I can flop down on my bed and be me for a while."
"Huh. So if I said that you're not allowed in here..."
I shrugged. "I wouldn't come in. I'd make sure that your room was given the same status as mine. Not even the cleaning mares come into my room."
"Well, let's do that, then. Just like when we were kids." Her eyes narrowed and she poked a hoof into my chest. "And I'm serious, this time. No sneaking in to read my diary, or whatever."
"I've matured since I was nine, thank you very much." I stuck my tongue out at her. "I'm a father and a ruler now." Kristen stuck her tongue out right back at me, but she didn't keep the line of conversation going. I chuckled and shook my head. "At any rate, I'm going to go do a few prince things. I won't be gone long. An hour or two at most. If you need anything, just ask any of the staff here. They'll see to it."
"I am so going to order some room service," Kristen said as she flopped down on the bed. "Unless that's not allowed."
"Go for it, just don't go overboard." With that, I walked out of the room, shutting the doors behind me. Once I was alone, my smile faded and I quietly sighed to myself. Kristen might be mollified temporarily with a pet octopus and a cool room, but it was going to hit her at some point that this wasn't just some temporary trip, that she'd be stuck in Equestria as a pegasus for the rest of her life, with only me to connect with in terms of Earth memories. That and the realization that she'd wither away and die while I wouldn't would hurt. A lot. The only alternative is that I died a horrible death that she'd have to go through, leaving her alone in Equestria.
But hey, I got married and had a few foals. Maybe she could do the same thing. I wanted her transition to be as smooth as possible. Anything I could do to make her happy here.
I was taken out of my thoughts by the worried mutters of a few staff members and guards walking past me. I frowned and followed them down the hallway Kristen and I had just come through, and it didn't take me long to see the commotion. Several of my staff had gathered around a random spot on the floor, staring at it like it had just sprouted a perfect copy of Celestia. I pushed past a few of them and instantly saw what was wrong.
The floor was pink.
I frowned and leaned in for a closer look. It was a pink section of the floor, about the size of a hamburger. Closer inspection revealed that pink paint hadn't been spilled on it or anything. It was like a small section of pink stone had been installed alongside the rest of it.
Wait. Stone didn't seem right. I gingerly tapped the section of the pink floor with the tip of my hoof, and my eyes widened when it squished underneath my touch.
Okay, that's not right.
I straightened up and looked around at the dozen or so staff and guards that had gathered around. "Any of you know anything about this?"
"No, Prince Antares," one of the pegasus maids said. "I merely found the section of the floor like that. At first I thought that somepony had spilled something, but when I went to clean it up, it... squished like that. It doesn't feel like stone anymore."
"No, it doesn't," I muttered. "It's almost like..."
My eyes widened when a thought hit me. No, that couldn't be it. Maybe some spell that had gone awry... Although what that spell was and why somepony would use it in the middle of a random hallway were beyond me. I turned around and instantly bolted back to Kristen's room, flying over my guards in my haste.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there was a perfectly logical explanation for everything and somepony had just spilled some potion. Again, not sure what kind of potion, but Occam's Razor suggested...
I actually didn't know what it might be suggesting here, but I needed to rule it out.
I burst through the doors of Kristen's room and saw her reclining on the bed, nuzzling into the comfortable pillows. She instantly shot up when she heard me enter and frowned at me.
"Does the 'do not enter' thing we were talking about have a period before activation? What's going on?"
"I, uh..." I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. "I just need to..." I lit my horn and scanned Kristen before she could say anything else.
"Hey, what the heck, TD?" Kristen snapped, flinching away from my magic. "You wanna tell me before you just go casting spells on me?"
"Yeah, that..." I shook my head. "Sorry, not going to happen."
Kristen's scowl returned in full force, and she hopped off of the bed, her wings flared at me again. "Oh yeah? Who says? What was that spell, TD, and why did you just burst into my room and cast it on me?"
"It's really best if I don't tell you. Alicorn stuff. You don't need to know."
Kristen's eyes narrowed. "TD, what was that spell?"
"None of your business."
"TD I'm serious!" Kristen roared, stomping a hoof on the floor. "What the heck did you just do to me?!"
My ears flattened and I lowered my head, refusing to make eye contact with her. "I didn't do anything. That spell was just a basic vital signs spell."
"And you didn't tell me because...?"
I pointed to the ground where Kristen had stomped. "That."
Kristen raised an eyebrow as she looked down to where I pointed. Her eyes widened and she took a step back when she saw the discolored bright green spot on the carpet below her hoof. "What the heck?"
"Kristen, I need you to trust me for a few minutes. I'm going to go get Celestia, and we're going to figure this out, alright?"
"What? Figure what out?" Kristen took a few steps toward me. "TD, what's going on?"
"We'll talk about it later. For right now, just..." I backed out of the room. "Just relax and order something to eat. I won't be gone long."
"TD!"
Before she could do anything, I backed out of the room and shut the doors behind me, locking them. Yeah, she'd be really pissed off when I finally let her out, but I couldn't risk anything right then. If she ran around the palace in a rage looking for me, who knew what could happen? I rushed away from the room and straight to my office, where I wrote a quick letter to Celestia. I couldn't figure all of this out without her help. I'm not sure how I'd figure it out with her help. Once the letter was finished, I sent it to her with a burst of my magic.
This was not going to go well. Not well at all.
Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe there was a perfectly logical explanation for all of it. Her human side messing with her innate pegasus magic, or something like that. Take a few pills or whatever and she'd be fine after some profuse apologies from me. Granted, I'd need to give her some anyway.
For that matter, it'd probably be best if I went back to her room. I couldn't let her out, but I could at least talk to her a little bit, right? I took a steadying breath, then made my way back to the room. When I reached it, I couldn't hear anything, which didn't bode well. I cleared my throat and knocked on the door.
"Uh, are you okay in there?"
"TD, when I get out of here you're going to explain this to me, then I'm going to beat you senseless," I heard her growl.
"Fair enough." I paused for a moment. "Any more of those spots appear?"
"A few, yeah. I ran over to the door when you left and every step I took made more of those things show up. Care to explain exactly what is going on?"
"Well, I think--"
Before I could say anything else, Celestia and Luna both rushed down the hallway, their eyes wide. They stopped when they reached me, and Celestia didn't even bother with a greeting nuzzle.
"Are you sure?" she said quietly, looking to the door.
"No, but that's why I brought you here. I haven't told her anything."
"That may be for the best, but we cannot hide it forever," Luna muttered. "We may as well get this over with."
"Yeah." I took a deep breath. "Yeah. She's already freaking out."
Without another word I unlocked the door and opened it up, revealing Kristen standing on the other end, glaring at me. As expected, more of those multicolored spots appeared on the ground. She saw Celestia and Luna and sighed.
"Great. I'm dying of cancer, aren't I?"
Celestia gave Kristen that maternal smile of hers. "Of course not, my little... Kristen. We merely have some concerns about the magic you seem to be performing." Celestia lit up her horn and, before Kristen could protest, hit her with a scanning spell. I saw her maternal smile flicker into a grimace for a brief moment, and she gave me a single nod. Not good.
"If you three aren't going to tell me what the heck is going on..."
"Kristen..." I took a deep breath, then sat down so I was at her level. "I'm not sure how to say this exactly, but... you remember that Discord guy, right?"
"Him? Hmm. Not sure if I do." Kristen tapped her jaw in an exaggerated manner. "Oh, is that the guy you basically tore in half? I think I might have some vague memories of him. Not too sure."
I managed a weak chuckle at that. She's a Powell through and through. "Right. Him. So I'm sure you remember Death, too. He, uh, came to talk to me that night and said that there would be consequences to me doing that. Also, Celestia told me that there's always gotta be a chaos god, so..."
Kristen's eyes widened, then instantly narrowed. "TD, if you're making a joke right now I'm never going to speak to you again. I promise. This isn't funny."
"I'm not laughing," I muttered "Kristen... I think you're the new chaos god."
Kristen stared at me, then Celestia, who nodded, then Luna, who also nodded. She looked back to me, and I could see confusion and fear in her eyes. "I... what?"
"It is true," Celestia said gently. "I knew Discord from the moment of his creation. His powers manifested themselves when he was young in moments of extreme emotions. That and I sensed chaos magic in you when I scanned you."
"And that's... not like from the portal, or something?" Kristen said, desperation creeping into her voice.
Celestia shook her head. "Perhaps if it were merely some lingering trace, but not in the concentration I felt. Even if that were the case, lingering chaos magic wouldn't grant you the ability to..." Celestia poked a spot on the carpet. "Change the ground into what appears to be strawberry pound cake."
Kristen's gaze flicked to the spot Celestia had poked, but she looked away almost instantly. She turned her attention to me and stared straight into my eyes. "So... you mentioned Death and consequences and stuff. So what you're telling me is that because you wanted to kill Discord, you wanted revenge or something, now I'm being punished by fate or whatever forcing me to be the next avatar of chaos, is that it?" Kristen took a step toward me, completely unblinking. "One might even say that you did this to me."
"I..." I sighed and looked away. "Kristen, I'm sorry. I didn't think--"
"Guess you didn't." I chanced a glance at my sister and saw that despite her blank face, I could see her legs shaking and tears welling up in her eyes. "So..." Kristen took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof. "I see."
"Kristen--"
"They'll probably call me a freak now, right? They've all gotta remember Discord. They'll look at me and see him, won't they?" Her eyes hardened into a glare. "I thought I could do it, you know? I thought maybe I can make things work here. I could adapt and be happy." She stared over at Celestia. "But that's all over, isn't it? I'm going to be hated and feared for the rest of my life because of what my brother did."
"Well, uh..." I tried for a small smile. "On the other hoof, I guess you're probably immortal now, then."
Kristen's gaze snapped back to me, but her expression remained unchanged. She merely took a deep breath and shook her head.
"Go to Hell. All three of you." She turned her back on us and sat down, staring at the wall. "Get out."
Celestia took a small step forward. "Kristen, if there is anything we can do to help you in this--"
"Get out. Just get out." When none of us moved, she shot back up to her hooves and wheeled around to face us, her wings flared completely and tears streaming down her face. "I said get out! Go away and leave me alone!"
"Okay, okay, we're leaving." I got to my hooves and backed away. "Just--"
"OUT!"
Without another word the three of us walked out of the room, leaving Kristen to fully digest everything. This wouldn't be an easy transition by any stretch of the imagination. There were internal and domestic implications, there were political problems, ponies that would be afraid of her now, call her a monster like Discord...
But I couldn't think of that right then. All I needed to do was comfort my scared and confused sister. I chanced one last glance back to her. She was lying on the ground with her back to the door, staring at the wall, not moving.
So..KristenCord? Totally did not see that coming.
side note : totally psyched to see one of my favorite fics updated. It salvaged a royally crappy day.
Wow, that twist ending was heavy. Poor Kristen. On the bright side, I love her interaction with Antares about Vanhoover.
TD, you idiot. You've just made your sister your eternal enemy. Way to go, dumbass.
(great story!)
heh needed a way to get her to stick around eh? im ok with this wonder if she will change in form liek discord did or if she will maintain a normal form.
8170663 Oh good.
I'm... Honestly not okay with this. I mean sure I'm not the one writing this but it seems far to cruel to do to her. First she loses her entire life, then her body, and now she loses her chance to even get to live a normal happy life? That's a bit too much to deal with all at once and I'm half expecting her to try and kill herself.
8170717 I have plans.
8170723 I don't doubt that but it's getting to the point that I can't keep reading this there's just too much happening with no wind down anymore.
He litteraly just killed discord not two chapters ago and he doesn't even make it home before he and his sister get slapped in the face with the oc abuse stick
8170726 Fair enough, but it's not going to be all doom and gloom. You're right: that's too much.
I wasn't expecting that reveal to happen for a while. Then again, I wasn't expecting TD to get back to Equestria that fast either. Seems to be a thing with this story.
8170732 Yeah it is. I'm likely only to stick around a couple more chapters at this rate. Honestly I was hesitant to even try and read this one because it's decending more and more into oc abuse as it goes along.
Every time and I mean EVERY TIME since The Prince that he has had a shread of a chance to be happy he's gotten beat down by the narrative. I'm surprised he isn't eating nightmare swords with how much has been dumped on him.
8170740 which is literally what I just got done saying
8170746
oc abuse makes for good storytelling
Actually, I expected this, Antares daughter would be too obvious, so his sister was the next best thing, and she was near him too.
I was hoping it wouldn't be her. Feels like an easy out from the royalty situation into a new one but eh. Story is good so lets keep on this crazy train.
I think she reacted way too negatively and extremely. Yeah she'll be pissed but to blame her brother? ...This is an excuse for more conflict isn't it?
8170817 Well look at things from her perspective: for her the god of chaos means Discord, and she saw what he did and how that ended. It'd be a really freaky thing. Am I supposed to be a villain now? Is my goal to take over the world? Will I have any choice in how I act? How will the country see me now since their perception of the chaos god is Discord, and there is no way they're going to be happy with that. In terms of TD, her becoming the chaos god is a consequence of his actions, as Death stated. If he doesn't kill Discord, she's not the new chaos god. His actions meant extreme consequences for her.
I gotta admit Kristen is starting to grate on my nerves a little bit. She is the one who chose to jump through the portal yet she’s acting like everything is TD’s fault....
8170817 I have to agree with this person because at this point it just seems like the story is just looking for ways to torture the protagonist till he starts to see just how immortal he really is...
Although I was afraid that this would happen, I trust BronyWiter to write it well. Even so, I had to go away from the last book in this series for a while, because it became too heavy for me. I came back though.
It is possible that this is providing them a second chance to make friends with the god of chaos.
Most importantly, what was the pink stuff?
8170800 Only to an extent. When it becomes predictable and repetitive, it's likely time to consider alternative methods of introducing conflict.
I'm not a fan of the direction this chapter took, but the story has still been enjoyable to me; for better [hopefully] or worse, I'm here for the long haul.
Keep'em coming BronyWriter, and never let your vision falter. :3
8170831 Yeah, she jumped through the portal and she shouldn't have. But this would still be a bit much to take in. "Oh, you're chaos incarnate and immortal now. You have no say in this." That'd be a lot. Besides, when TD ascended, he got in a big fight with Celestia and generally acted pretty grumpy for a while. Kristen is just lashing out a bit and yelling for alone time.
8170833 It's not all going to be that.
8170853 I would love to believe you but the last entire book and this one so far haven't exactly inspired much hope in me about that.
Okay, the pace of this story is bit too fast.
Dear Princess Kryssy,
Ponies didn't like Discord because of what he did, not because of what he was.
You can be chaotic without being a douche about it and ponies will like you just fine.
Signed,
Midknight
well ok this is a thing.
I never even guessed of this being a possible out come.
and I love it.
Uh... Since when is Equestria landlocked?
8170957 *Quickly checks map of Equestria*
...
*Gulp*
*Even more quickly edits the story.*
8170971
How did nobody catch that before?
Anyway, good job! While it may seem like OC bashing, life is like that, unfortunately.
8170976 To be fair, the show isn't 100% consistent on what the terrain is like. If we go by the map then RD and Pinkie would have to either cross a sea to get to Griffinstone, or go all of the way up to the Crystal Empire to take a train. They'd definitely have to cross a sea to get to the dragons.
8170983
Couldn't the dragons be in the smoky mountains?
To be honest, I think a lot of us forget the fact that we are outsiders looking in on fictional events taking place. Not to mention we all enjoy ponies and I could probably state that half of us at least contemplate our reactions to such scenarios.
For Kristen, all of this is such a culture shock (among other things) that I'm not surprised she turned to TD to blame. He has been at the center of the events that caused all of this to her life. Most people aim dirextly at the first person they can blame. Sure, there are those who are easier going but at no point has Kristen came off as such a character. If she had taken it with a grain of salt, then that would have been OOC for her.
8170851
Just to be a counter to you, i do like the way the chaoter goes, nyah!
Well I have nothing against this development other than it's a lot of crap to drop on her all at once, I mean TD got some time to adjust before the other shoe dropped. Other than that the only issue I've really had with this story is that after the cliffhanger from the last story turned out to just be sequel bait I have no clue what this story is actually supposed to be about now lol.
8170896 she just needs to learn from a master on how to use Chaos in a positive way, I'm thinking Pinkypie will have an apprentice in the ways of random.
Well I only have two questions, one wasn't Discord suppose to be older than the princesses? if he was younger, how did they let him rule the world complete for a millennium?…or they were like the resistance?
And two, does that mean that Discord start as a pony? did he just decided to get that form as he went insane? does that mean that Katherine can in fact become an alicorn if she wish too?
8171005 she may blame him but in the end the fault is hers, she went through the portal, that was the start of all this.
Dear Kristen.
You are being a bitch.
-Ash.
PS: You didn't have to follow your long lost brother into a portal opened by someone who claimed to be Death itself.
8170830
Yeah it would suck for her, but if she had enough common sense or some more encouraging words from TD she wouldn't immediatly see herself as a villain or something horrible. Isn't TD supposed to be supportive, not saying "At least your immortal forever now :D" .
I'm not saying the chapter is bad, just somethings didn't click. Also isn't TD smart? He didn't have to say how Katherine gained control
Edit: P.S Wouldn't seeing your brother after a long time and being granted a nice place to live with a pet octopuss give you a happiness boost? Unless she has bipolar disorder or something she wouldn't immediatly think negative or blame her own brother.
Maybe it's bad, but she can think about make a window to her house.
"Hi daddy, Hi mommy, You see, I'm the new godess of chaos"
8171055
Oh without a doubt. But remember, we are not always the most logical creatures. Her emotions are most likely overruling her logic and from what I've read, she is very emotionally driven.
8171080
8171128 Yes, her going through the portal was a bad idea for sure, but now she has to be the physical incarnation of chaos. Forever. She has no say in this. Is she wrong to blame her brother? Maybe, but from her perspective if he hadn't killed Discord then she wouldn't be in this position. Death said that him killing Discord would have consequences. Kristen shouldered the consequences. She's scared and confused. She's lashing out in anger because of that, just like most of us have done before. How the heck would you handle everything she's gone through in the past few days? 1. Brother whose disappearance hit her extremely hard returns randomly. 2. death himself says "oh yeah, now he has to leave again. Forever. 3. On a (dumb) snap decision, she follows him. 4. She watches her brother get into a giant fight with the god of chaos and brutally kill him. 5. She's told she can never go home. 6. she is told that she is the new god of chaos. How is she supposed to handle it?
8171219 Depending on whether she has to go all chimeric or not, she could eventually grow to like these powers. And there is the fact that Discord 's powers enabled him to transport TD to Earth at will, so visiting mum & da suddenly became maybe possibly possible for both of them.
8170717 To be fair she did bring it upon herself by deciding to jump threw an interdenominational portal.
I wasn't expecting that reveal to happen so soon, despite how TD got back to earth then equestria again. I was hoping it wouldn't be her either, to me it seemed a bit too cruel to do to, she loses her entire life, then her body, and now she loses her chance to even get to live a normal happy (pony) life? ...Damm...
(I may of also wanted to see how she would get on with her "normal" pony life.)
Still an epic chapter, I'm eager to see how things play out from here.
8119825 I have recently erased the nonsense left in Prince, as agreed. At no point have I ever said anything in detriment to any of the canon stories nor EQG, all of which I love plenty.
Secondly, I have the impression even if I said anything not flaming, it'd still get treated as such, as everyone who left even legitimate criticisms, and he has admitted they are legit, get three, four dislikes, one if they are fortunate. Talk about trolling. Trolling usually is laced with irony and sarcasm, not someone being as matter of fact as possible. Seems to me some people will defend a decision in narrative and execution no matter what just because X wrote it. Or something is nostalgic. Never take real critiques as personal insults, as that shows your own insecurities. I have stated several things that were needlessly harsh, but I never wrote them dishonestly. Alondro is clearly making himself look mad, and I admit that, but he rarely lies or says anything not laced with some semblance of truth. When someone is mad, listen anyway, as they just might have something useful to say, as Pinkie did. "Swarm of the Century".
My criticisms were there was no tension if there was no chance Equestrians might lose. Knowing the author was enough to know the outcome going in, and that was alright with me. What I took issue with was skewing every possible advantage to Equestrians without exception, and all opposition is a mere nuisance. Consequences included. Indestructible trio, runs the planet literally, can read your mind through dreams and truth serums, corner the market on an exclusive energy source inherent to them. You see what I mean? He agreed to tone down the deity aspect, as he said he didn't want them to come off as that, only extraordinarily powerful. I said for that intent he had failed, as they still came off as OP, note the past tense, and he said he'd edit things to be less one sided.
As for me, I would like this kind of tale as a farce. Only when the comments read it as tragedy and took it like it was played straight did I start to see fault. When your protagonist is omnipotent God, what relatability is there? None. I liked the canon tales as they keep those two in the background and don't overstay their welcome, and Chrys has real explanation for why she doesn't go down for good. Only extinction of her kind could kill her, so the continued presence of others of her sort keep her alive. That's a nice explanation and rule. Having something like this would make Tia and Lu more enjoyable to me. Say a supernova does the trick. That's not too hard. Canon TD Powell is good because even though he has plot armor, he could in reality, bite it. Same with EQG. I didn't even notice his adventure arc was told in hindsight until I had finished it, I was that immersed in it.
If you take issue with my critiques, that's ultimately your own issue. You, me, these are far less scathing and angry than anything I have written in that tale, Missuer. I like where this tale is going. It's better as of now than The Prince by a landslide, but not good as Alicorn by a longshot. It has all the satire and self awareness I would expect, yet it's not quite as fresh as that one. I think I have just found out what my problem is with it. This branch off is something most entertaining as a one shot as it was intended. Keep it on life support, and go on indefinitely, the novelty it relied on wears off. As much as the canon story was a farce, I thought it had potential to go on a long time and not get dull. It's the fact this gets updates more often than that confuses me. I don't think about this tale as much as I did in the past, and am only here now because it was on the main page.
And the new mistress of Chaos is Kristen. Yeah, called that (me and half the other readers). ...Antares and the sisters better stop playing everything close to the chest when it comes to Kristen, or they're quickly going to alienate her, and that won't be good at all. Still, the universe did give them a MINOR break, in that it's Kristen and not one of TD's kids. It may be a lot easier to teach her to control her abilities and keep her grounded mentally than a child...at least if they don't do the above alienating first. I just worry that once it leaks out (and you KNOW it will) that she's the 'New Discord,' that some dunderheads are gonna do something that'll send her off the deep end...
Called it gimme my cookie.
"i wanna be leafcuck in ponyland"
"no sister i is a god, i habe many more chromosomes than other p0nies u get palace bedroom and u will liek it."
"yeah but u kill chicken kiddos so u actually a dick not a god."
"but equestria first #MEGA"
"ok fine"
"o shit the floor is pink"
*Celestia and Luna burst in*
"o god i habe khansur don't i."
"no b0ss, ur teh new kay-oss god."
"eh fuck u mang no."
"eh ~nyess. i sorry but ur immortal and are forced to do lolrandom shit."
*turns the ground into strawberry shortcake*
"o shit im immortal now wtf ur like worst brother evar."
*Discord keks*