Sheogorath followed Discord along as he once more set out to explore. It had quickly become apparent that keeping Discord contained was an exercise in futility, even for Sheogorath. Even if Sheogorath managed to contain Discord in a cage of pure mad thought - the only thing he'd discovered that Discord couldn't directly manipulate (yet) - the cage would weaken enough to let Discord free the moment Sheogorath's mind wandered...which was as soon as Discord stopped fighting cage or restraints. Once Discord had put that together, he would stop fighting the instant Sheogorath used pure mad thought, minimizing the time he was kept contained. As a result, Sheogorath now settled for following Discord wherever he went. Besides, watching Discord discover new things was fun, even if said things weren't new to Sheogorath. ...he made a mental note to take Discord to the mortal plane sometime, just to see what would happen.
Before too long, Discord reached the edge of the Isles and began swimming off into the air. Sheogorath decided to simply float after him, as opposed to walking on water or raising new land from beneath the waves...or transforming into a flying creature, or flying as a non-flying creature just to spite the laws of physics. Not only was it not a bad thing to spice things up every now and then, it meant he would have much more energy to keep Discord in check if he got out of hand.
Sheogorath did become a bit confused when Discord started tugging on something that wasn't there. "What have you got there, boy?" he asked as he approached, looking over Discord's shoulder.
"Door!" Discord proclaimed proudly. "Open!" he insisted angrily, tugging again.
Sheogorath frowned. After all, he saw no door. He lowered his hand to rest it on Discord's shoulder, then gasped in surprise. When he was touching Discord, he could see the doors that weren't really there, and realized what they were. "These are gates into the realms of the other Daedric Princes!" he proclaimed in surprise. "I knew the realms were connected, but I can just pop in and out at will with permission. How did you find these?"
Discord released the door he was tugging on and floated over to another. "Mall Chaca!" he proclaimed, opening the door to reveal the Ashpit.
Sheogorath crowed in delight as he clapped his hands together. "That's how you got to the Ashpit? Amazing! You have the ability to enter anyone's realms at will? That is astounding!"
"Oh my yes," another voice purred as a red-skinned face with black hair, beard, and horns stuck out the door that had refused Discord. "That is certainly interesting. I have so many ideas for how such an ability can be put to use." Silver armor-clad hands extended through after the head to rub together wickedly.
"Sanguine!" Sheogorath greeted warmly, grabbing the demonic looking Daedra and pulling him through into a warm embrace. "What brings you here, you crazy bugger?"
"I'd heard you'd found yourself a kid," Sanguine responded as he returned the embrace. "I came to take a look." Glancing down, he saw Discord giggling happily, only to dash for the door he'd just come out of. However, the door promptly slammed in Discord's face and refused him entry. "Sorry kiddo," Sanguine chided gently. "My realm is strictly adults only. Try again when you're grown up."
Discord pouted. "But...pah-tea!"
Sanguine chuckled softly as he idly brushed his silver armor with one hand. "We can have a party here, one a bit tamer than what I have going on in my realm." When Discord continued to pout, Sanguine relented. "Tell you what. I am the Prince of Debauchery. Do you know what that means?"
Discord shook his head in confusion. "Uh uh."
"Tell you what, when you can explain to me what Debauchery is in a complete sentence without using child talk or getting flustered, you can enter my realm freely," Sanguine allowed, chuckling at Discord's pout. "But in the meantime, I have an idea or two that might give you some fun."
"Fun?" Discord asked eagerly, a hint of wickedness in his voice.
Sheogorath grinned widely, eager to see what happened next.
Sheogorath, Sanguine, and Discord sat around a table, drinking tea while dressed in 'pretty princess' outfits because Discord insisted on it. As Sheogorath took a bite out of a biscuit - which turned out to taste like pizza and sauerkraut - Haskill spoke up. "My Lord, Mephala desires audience with you. Immediately."
Sheogorath rolled his eyes. "Fine, let her in for a few moments."
In a flash of darkness and cloud of smoke, a tall, four armed woman in black with web designs on her clothes appeared, glowering at Sheogorath. "You! Your creature did this, I know it!"
"I'm sorry, you're going to have to be more specific Mephala," Sheogorath responded bluntly. "My creatures do a lot of things."
"My webs have been reshaped to spell off color jokes!" Mephala snapped angrily. "My spider daedra have either been squashed or turned into wolves made of dead wood that whistle at me every time I go by! My throne has been cursed to make fart noises every time I sit on it!" Her anger only increased as Sanguine laughed openly. "And the remains of my squashed minions was used to spell out 'Dick Cheese wus hiir' in my bed chambers, with this as the implement!" She angrily slammed a green stained rock down on the table.
"I'm afraid I have no creature named 'Dick Cheese'," Sheogorath replied with aplomb. "Although I'm sure such a thing would make an excellent treat for Sanguine here."
"Sounds quite delicious," Sanguine agreed.
"I know it was this creature of yours!" Mephala snapped, pointing at Discord.
"Hardly," Sheogorath countered. "As you can see, he is a Unique, and there can't exist more than one of him at a time, and he's been here with us this whole time. However, we'll happily investigate this. For now, you're disturbing our tea party. Shoo."
"You haven't-" Mephala's angry rant was cut off as her permission to be in Sheogorath's realm was revoked.
Grinning, Sanguine snapped his fingers, and Discord slowly metamorphosed into a rock, while the rock unrolled into Discord. "Nice!" he praised, lifting a hand.
Giggling, Discord met the hand with his lion paw in a high five.
plane
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Well... Yes and yes. Especially with all of those wide open plains full of mortal stuff out there on the mortal plane way below where mortal planes bombard the plains with plain cheese when really when planning to -This joke in the comments has been aborted due to excessive use of P's. We hope your enjoyment of the comment section will be ecstatic as well as your tea time with Fluttershy.-
7727621 Well maybe the mortal plane is in a plain, have you ever thought of that?
Those magnificent bastards
Sheogorath, Sanguine, and Discord... hosting a tea party...
Where can I get my invitation and do I need to bring my own pretty princess dress and tea-cup?!
Entirely reasonable and amusing.
Excellent idea, and I can't wait to see what good old Uncle Sanguine comes up with. Discord will need to get him some Apple Family Hard Cider after he finds himself back in Equestria... and maybe hook him up with Berry Punch.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
We need to see Discord vs Pinkie Pie at hide 'n' go seek.
A very good chapter, glad to see Sanguine joining in on the fun. I can just see an older Discord changing the flavor of beers and meads mid drink to see if he can make Sanguine do a spit take from surprise.
So Discord can see the doors to other realms. I wonder if he can also do that with the Aedra or something?
7727705 No, but you might need a bucket for when your brain liquefies.
Is that sort of joke really appropriate for an E-rated fic? (Don't get me wrong, the joke in question is hilarious... it just strikes me as being for more mature audiences. And no, it's not a scolding, I'm honestly just checking.)
7727722
Better idea: We need to see Discord vs PWNY Pinkie at hide 'n' go seek. And add Sheogorath and the other Daedric Princes into the mix, just because. It will be GLORIOUS.
No Celestia face?
derpicdn.net/img/2016/8/28/1236171/medium.gif
...Also, for some strange reason I can't help but think of Sanguine as having the same voice as Hades from Kid Icarus.
Ah, shenanigans. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
Good chapter.
Do you ship Discord with Fluttershy or anyone else?
7727926 all my yes
A cage that can keep Discord? Why, that'd be pure madness I say, nothing can keep him locked up!
If Sheogorath needed another reason to see Discord as adoorable this chapter should help.
Yep, Discord is a stone cold prankster to the core just like his dad.
7728035 Is it weird that I imagine Discord having a selfcest relationship with Eris? And would their baby be another Discord/Eris but younger?
Sort of like their usual duplication but there's a "pah-tee" involved.
...I just remembered Sanguine! That guy still owes my nord some mead! I mean the good stuff, not that Blackbrier crap.
Fair enough.
I'm sure you do...
Unexpected. Which I suppose is the idea.
Just got noped out of there.
7728187 Surely Hi Los Tinvaak Do Bron mead?
Smells the air Nothing like a little bonding with Uncle Sanguine and messing with Auntie Mephala eh Discord? Loved this! Oh lord... I wonder what'll happen when he meets Meridia.
At least Sanguine had enough forethought to prevent Discord from growing up too fast.
That prank was hilarious though
7728436 Were it not for that throne, I can see Discord repeating this to Chrysalis...
The regular one, not the one raised by DP.
7729344
The one raised by DP would find it hilarious, if she hadn't already done it herself.
This is either your best idea or your most insane to date, either way I LOVE IT!
7729403 ....yeah, she would have, wouldn't she?
Depending on when this takes place, and given the characters involved that could be the most ancient point in written history, you could have Discord encounter a mortal Talos before he became a divine.
7729344 I like your picture.
7732613 Thanks. You can find the artist here.
http://thefriendlyelephant.deviantart.com/
7728404 Zu'u dreh sahvot ful, joor zeymah. If you know what I mean. This isn't actually an inside joke, I just want to troll the people who have yet to find thuum.org
7729403 tat you need to rename this chapter to 'life of the pah-tea'
I literally lol'd at that. Perfection.
This is the 4th chapter I laughed while reading. You, my friend, are a mad genius!
7727621 not for long
7727722
And to the author, as well: How the hex does he know off-color jokes, but not what debauchery means? The first one tends to follow being aware of what the second is.
Doesn't that rather un-nerf being a Unique? For a time, he effectively made a copy of himself, for that rock to do anything yet to be there the whole time.
8813986
There's understanding off-color jokes, and then there's debauchery. Sexual debauchery to be blunt.
Can a child understand such things? Yes, but they have to- or have it taken from them rom someone who'll deserve a fate I wouldn't wish on HItler -lose their innocence.
Or be a savant- like Twilight -who has understanding beyond her ken.
8813986
I believe the Discord that turned into a rock was merely an automaton, set up beforehand to give an alibi. Meanwhile, the rock that unrolled into Discord was the real Discord, merely having changed his shape. Still only one of him, just misdirection as to where he was.
Does Sanguine remind anyone else of Nazeem from the gamer poop Skyrim series?
No just me...okay.