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Powerless

A short story:
Celestia failed to use the Elements of Harmony, and Nightmare Moon was victorious. Now the Queen of the Night rules a dying Equestria and Celestia sits in chains, powerless.
But a pony isn’t truly defeated until they give up.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Empty Shelf

Empty Shelf #1 · Oct 15th, 2016 · · ·

Not bad. It's a simple story, fairly well-told. Strong fundamentals.

I would say, though, that I found it a bit too simple. There's nothing wrong with it, but there's nothing that stands out either.

dingapaki

dingapaki #2 · Oct 16th, 2016 · · ·

7644746
Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

PonyDragon

PonyDragon #3 · Oct 16th, 2016 · · ·

Nice story.

Celestia had tricked Nightmare to raise the sun and keep her subjects from dying in the eternal night.
That way she bought time to free herself and/or be freed by others. Since talking with Nightmare doesn't work this is the best she could do.

But I have agree with the previous comment: It's a solid, but average story. That means it is good, but not stick out from the rest.
I suggest looking for an appropriate cover-art to drew a bit more attention.

Is this a simple One-Shot or will there be a continuation?

dingapaki