- Member Since 14th Oct, 2015
- offline last seen Last Tuesday
Unwhole Hole
Digging it deeper. Always deeper.
Unwhole Hole
Joined 14th Oct, 2015 ·
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Unwhole Hole · 217k words · 33 9 · 432 views
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- Unwhole Hole · 217k words · 33 9 · 432 views
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I fully recognize that this story will likely have difficulties with reception. I ask only that if you intend to press the "dislike" button, at least consider stopping a moment to comment and tell me why.
My lord. You made a sequel?! This is getting auto-faved and read as soon as I have time. Was a fan of the first one and I only have great expectations for this one!
I loved the first story because of the disturbing yet interesting way you put the pony civilizations in this setting and because the story of Starlight fighting for her freedom was engaging for me, but I can't help but get a funny feeling about the way your portrait quarians and humans in general, even with the "explanation" given by Garrus some chapters ago. Let's see how this goes from here.
Great story, but it leaves a bitter taste with how it all "ended". No complaints on the narrative from me, but as I said, some parts just left me a funny feeling in me and sincerely, the final scene? It seemed a bit too convoluted for my tastes. I almost said "Really?" out loud when I read that.
Any other than that, a story that I would read again sometime. Keep up the good work.
7752294 Thank you. When I was going over the plot of this with another guy as I was writing, he said something along the lines of "Seriously. Do not use that ending. DO NOT." I couldn't help myself. Xyuka's role had been set early on, but Bob's role was a later addition. It kind of gives Bob a reason to actually be there.
And again, thank you so much for your feedback.
Seriously...
WTF did the Alliance do?
Eh.
7753993 From a Council perspective, I figure that the Alliance must be very scary. In less than 2 centuries, humans went from being barely able to get to the moon to demanding a seat on the Council. And then, once they had that seat, their Councilor tried to sell them out to the Reapers while another human (the Illusive Man) thwarted every attempt at galactic defense.
In my interpretation, when humanity did not automatically get a new seat on the Council after the war they took it as a huge offense. That, and the Alliance found Council law too restrictive (hence the synths, which are basically a huge middle finger to the Council). Combined with inherent xenophobia, relations went down hill fast.
Not an ending I would've pictured but still great.
your pony universe reminds me a great deal of 40k. psykers (unicorn cores) being sacrificed to power FTL travel, general fear/hatred of psykers, god empresses of pony kind, vat raised servitors (farm raised pegasus).
This chapter is very hard to read. It seems that starlight is holding the idiot ball. She is strong enough to challenge the Harmony, take a blast from cadence, dive into a star, but not a kill a small swarm of mutants? Why did she not simply create a shield around all of them and just stroll through the city?
I'm gonna have to agree with
7752294
the ending with bob was out of place. reminded me of a sitcom plot from 'all my circuits'.
that said, I'm looking forward to where you take this.
Welp lets hope Rarity eats a bullet trought the brain, nah that would be to fast serve her in a banguet to the tartarans instead you know chained down and cut up into little bits to be grilled on a nearby barbegue since so far the only ponies that are worth the air they breath are ther ones on scoots ship
Aaaawh no dead Rarity higly disapointed, woud have been a fitting way for the bitch to go
This story made my eye twitch and left and old taste in my stomach. But still creative.
I bet it’s cerberus who are attacking the chrystall empire... galaxy?
what ever 
nice story so far
loved the first one, made me replay all the Mass Effect games
Oh pinkie pie
I see what you did there
7781996
I think hole stiched this from everything. The umm, the rodent with the moon? She is star trek.....
8894460
It's been a while since I've read this. What is this?
I feel sad for raity.
Wow
7872488
All one sentence...
Interesting and complex story. Wish it had less typos that had negated and reversed the meaning of so many sentences.
Twilight is best Pony/Spaceship!
I forgot to mention this earlier, but I wanted to say that "Questlord" is an awesome title (or nationality? I'm not sure anymore).
And wow, the inclusion of Flurry Heart, Chrysalis and most sinisterly Sombra to the Crystal empire faction suddenly makes it a lot more intriguing and unsettling.
9370694
It is indeed a cool name, but I cannot take credit for its creation. It is actually a reference to the song "Questlords of Inverness, Ride to the Galactic Fortress!" by Gloryhammer, which I drew a lot of inspiration from. The song references power-armor clad "unicorn defenders", which I took to mean actual unicorns.
Cannibalistic wendigoes and now FEV? Just how many things are we crossing over here?
Also, I just noticed that Xyuka was also name dropped at the end of Elrod. Some sort of grand narrative across your stories? Pretty cool!
This has been a really fun read. I think that things started becoming a bit weird (I seriously don't know a better word for it) either a bit after Sunset retrieves the Key from Cadance, or after the invasion of the Citadel. If I had to guess it would be because the power levels of all the characters starts to become somewhat hazy, there's less focus on the interactions and relationships of the cast (probably my favorite part, even though I find the narrative to be interesting and thrilling), and it seems as though every victory for the protagonists is marred by some ulterior plot that there was either insufficient foreshadowing for, or was simply impossible to prevent.
Regardless, I'm enjoying myself very much reading this series. The narrative and especially the characters are all extremely compelling.
I just reread Mass Core 1 and 2. This is in my top 3 stories on the internet.
Also, what is "soy-chet"?
9553471
Sunset Shimmer's voice actress is named Rebecca Shoichet. Xyuka is intentionally mispronouncing it.
What the buuuck....thats.....damn....
I'm interested in these chaos wizards...
The Pinkie peanut gallery made this so much better.
Cerberus organization and the Elusive Man must be extremely high. All they managed to accomplish with their idiotic stunt is to being kicked out themselves from the citadel.
Why is Rainbow Dash still in charge of Fleet Command? She is incompetent and insane.
Brilliant, even more racism, mud pony history lesson
Possibility of Equestrians being aggressors in this war, why am I not surprised.
You didn't just say that, Lyra is going to flip
Well, okay, I didn't expect Rarity to fuck up this much. Maybe they should have just sent Sweetie Belle alone.
Oh boy,looks at the chapter's title. Rarity you are in the deep trouble.
Thinking of Reapers as primitive, boyo I bet Equestrians never had to deal with that manace in their thousands of years of space travel.
Twilight should have insisted for Scootaloo taking a back up core. I hope her faith in a half dead Trixie wouldn't bite her crew in the flank. I wish they could throw Lemon Heart into airlock, that bitch.
Does Shining Armor even have a personality in this story? Cadence sure knows how to pick them.
Okay, but does Earth has other extra solar colonies? It's sounds like an big deal environmental tragedy, but with the bit of pragmatism it's shouldn't be a big deal.
What? Is Sunset having a Kylo Ren moment?
Seems like Sombra is in control of Cadence, but she's not insanely evil.
Damn, hoping that the Twilights can be rescued and taught that cannibalism is wrong.