The Ponyville Colt Air Force (P-CAF)

by ShadowBrony21

Wooden Wonders

07/8/3014, 1200 hours

Ponyville, Equestria

Day 0

Wooden Wonders

"Derby racers, are you READY?!" Cheerilee announced on the top of her lungs. "GET READY! SET!! GO!!!"

The cart on the race track zoomed down the track, well except for the one with the two apples in it. Rumble and Button Mash watched in awe as the speed of the carts continually sped up even through the tight turns, drifting their way around the track. They were there for their friend, Snips, who was with his dad, who was a mechanic, in his cart, which was a four by four, for moral support, which was currently not very effective. Although the cart was robust and reliable, it wasn't fast enough to catch up to a certain Rainbow maned mare's vehicle.

"Come on! Snips! Pedal to the Metal!" Rumble scream on the top of his lungs.

"Get as many items as possible!" Button scream with him.

"Items only exist in your games Button," Rumble reminded his friend. "Don't listen to him! He knows nothing about racing!"

"Then explain why you always get shredded!"

"That's cause you and your stupid item using 'AI's gang up on me and BUCK me over sideways!"

"Oi! Don't swear in public, chill out!"

"I'm not swearing, I said 'Buck instead of 'Fu..."

The conversation ended with a hoof connecting with a colt's jaw.

Snips turned and turned, he tried to accelerate fast enough, but with the amount of weaving and curving, he wasn't catching the lead.

His father in the back seat chuckled as he watched his son fiddling with the steering wheel, pedals, brakes, and the gear change.

"Havin' fun there?" he chuckled.

"I can't catch up! That 'Swan-Car' is in the way, as well as all these twists and turns!"

His father chuckled before giving some words of advice, "Don't always press the accurate or break without the need for it; it is sometime better to out-maneuverer your opponent rather than going faster than them." He smiled.

Snip looked back to meet his father's encouraging smile and smiled back, turning around and taking his advice on racing. His dad said that he choose to make a four by four rather than a speed car because it is more reliable and manoeuvrable when used right.

He pulled out to the side of the 'Swan-Car', whose driver was busy singing a song and flapping the wings up and down for no reason. Timing the interval between the flaps, he concentrated on running his car right through.

"Let them have it!" his father cheered as the wing when up.

The moment the wings when down, he pressed the accelerate as hard as he could. The four wheel drive prevented him from flipping over as well as giving a large boost of speed. And as soon as he reached the wings, they popped right back up. Seizing his moment, he burst through the gap, drifting on the next corner and pulling in front.

"Yesss! That's my boy!" His father praised.

Snips had the widest grin plastered onto his face, he looked back to see his father's wide and proud smile. Then, his smile suddenly started to faded and turned into dread. Snips, who was confused looked back forwards to see the makings of a huge collision.

And he was one of the ingredients.

BAM!!!! Cling!! Clank!

"How did nopony get injured?" First Base cried our in surprise.

"I didn't believe it either, I though Derpy was DEAD with all those carts on top of her!" Button Mash cried aloud.

"Well, don't question it. Would you rather somepony got hurt?" Rumble asked.

The three colts were walking down the streets of Ponyville, heading directly toward the (in)famous Sugarcube Corner, talking about the recent derby that took place earlier in the day.

"I wouldn't want anypony to get injuried from such a silly mistake! I mean: What type of demon would take over somepony's project without their consent!" Button cried louder, attracting unwanted attention from the surrounding ponies.

"Uh... Button. I think it is best if you shut up." Rumble whispered.

"Let's all shut up. We are wasting our saliva in a dire time of need from refreshments. Before you know it, Button here would be on the floor, screaming at the top of his lungs with a dry throat." First Base added earning a look of confusion from the two colts beside him.

"Um... Excuse me?" Rumble asked.

"Was I meant to understand that? I only started listening when you said 'Button' and kinda stopped when you said 'Mash'," Button blurted aloud.

"Let's just head in," First Base dismissed, changing the subject.

As they entered, a poofy maned, pink mare hopped down from the ceiling directly in front of the colts to greet them.

"Oh! Hi Button! Rumble! and... First Base! Dine in as per usual?" The hyper mare gave a extremely cheesy smile as she finished, even earning a background 'squee' noise.

"Yes Pinkie! What's the special for smoothies today?" Rumble replied politely.

"OH!!! We always have specials for everything! I... Pinkie Pie always strive to make everything special! Once I tried making the menu alter from hour to hour, so that there will be hourly specials to make everything special! But then the cakes couldn't keep up to supply the demands required, so then I decided to have daily alternating menus, but then the locals prefer a more predictable menu so they would always known what's on! What a load of bull-laugh! They should really spice up things in their lives, I mean, having the same foods on every single day for every single week for every single month for every single year for every single decade for every single lifetime for every single era for every single eon for every single millen... mil-len-eia? Mill... Millennia! Wow! that funny word to say very quickly, I mean, that's the first time I had a real problem with tougue-twister in years! So back to, yes! Millennia! That would be sooo boring. I mean these ponies should really learn from Discord. Did you know, one day Discord used a one thousand-sided die to choose what to order. Man! That was sooo funny until the die decided to run away and started dropping rainbow dots all over town. I mean, how many dots are there on a thousand-sided die. I mean, it would be 1+2+3+4, all the way to a thousand. And those dot stains were nasty too. I had to use the lasso tool and reach out of the screen to press 'delete' to get them off. And I had to be careful not to delete anything else or it would cause a rip in the fabric of space and time. Speaking of time, how long did it take me? I mean if 1+2+3...+1000='x'... the 'x' times the amount of cheesecake in the universe multiplied by the reciprocal of the gold in a nokia 3310 to the power of brony haters, all divided by the amount of computers in the 'human-world'... Wow! That's a lot of hours! I mean how did I do all that? Wait! Derpy and her Colt-friend took me into this blue box so I could do it all and return back to life without me, or anypony noticing. And so... I decided to create a daily special for each catergory on the menu every single day! And so..."

"Um... Miss Pi..." First Base uttered.

"... 'x' = 250 499 and the daily special for smoothies is Choc-chip and Syrup with Vanilla and Blue berries!" Pinkie finished in one breath in a time under 25 seconds. (Challenge)

Leaving First Base with his mouth tunneling through the ground to hold the size of the jaw drop. "Okay... Umm... Wow."

"I'll take that!" Button cried excitedly.

"Same as him," Rumble added.

"Um... Do you have anything suited to cure a severely dropped jaw?" First Base asked.

"Sure thing!" Pinkie chirped as she placed a tiny brown pill inside his mouth.

Feeling silly, having a random pill in his mouth, First Base told Pinkie, "I don't think it is doing anyth..." As he reached to take it out of his mouth. Suddenly, the pill evaporated and started sending electrical shock throughtout his body as well as changing tastes randomly.

"Ahhh! Oh!!! BAHH!!!!!! BARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" First Base screamed and shouted with a varying degrees of surprise and horror.

Suddenly the pill started fizzing violently and then exploded in a loud bang, reducing the saliva-activated pill to a puff of pink smoke and confetti.

"Oh... Um... Gee thanks," First Base said as he regained his senses.

"Don't worry, free of charge. Just doing for a friend!" Pinkie stated cheerfully. "So... what do you want?" Pinkie grabbed out a menu from her poofy hair and raised her hoof up while letting it roll down, the bottom just touching the ground.

"Umm..." First Base looked at the menu and scanned through the contents. "I'll take... Cookies and cream with chocolate sauce and strawberry topping along with blueberries and... cheese?"

As he said his order, Pinkie was behind the counter, creating the smoothie as hyper-speed. First throwing the glass on the table; miraculously bouncing comically without falling over or smashing. Then threw into the cup with accurate precision the ingredients without even putting her hoof over the glass by lobbing ingredients from the cupboard in front and behind her; each ingredient landing one by one and paused as he stopped speaking as the cheese floated from the air into the glass.

"No wait... can you replace the cheese with cream? Or is it already too la..."

"Not a problem!" Pinkie Pie said before grabbing a large ray gun from the ceiling out of nowhere and aimed it at the glass, shooting a large magical blast that blew up and left the café full of smoke.

The colts coughed as the smoked settled, they found themselves at a table with Pinkie Pie in front of them with a waitress outfit on as well as a circular tray with the three orders on it.

"How did... What?" The colts muttered and squeaked in awe.

"Trade Secret..." Pinkie whispered to them and carefully placed the three smoothies one by one in front of each colt. "Enjoy!" She stood right back up and smiled before running towards the counter and literally jumping behind it without a trace of sound or her mere existence.

"Somethings are better left unanswered." Rumble said as he put his mouth onto the straw.

Author's Note:

Thanks for Reading!
This story with be updated once every one or two months.
If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to ask/tell.
I don't mind criticism. I would like to take ideas to improve my writing for future chapter/stories.

Comments

[Kot]

Wow, great story. Can't wait for more