Well, I've fucked up. Oh my eyes hurt. Is it the first time I cried like that? I think so. Lucky me I told Shiny that crying wasn't shameful. It's not like I was repressing my emotions at all.
Urgh. I'm such an idiot.
Well, in my defence, it's like the universe waited until this week to reveal all the sordid details of my new life: Slavery is a thing, my new friend is abused, Cady was nearly raped, Applejack is going to be bred, My father is also my brother and my mother loves me, maybe even too much.
"So what are we in your eyes?"
What are they? I haven't known them for long. Friends? I do intend to set them up to be Bearers...
I've helped them. Especially Cady. And she wanted to help me in kind.
*sigh*
Who am I? Myself, probably. Even if my memories are fake, my actions are still mine. What am I? A clone of my mother. That's still fucked up as all hells. Well, I've got a lesson out of this: "Do not repress your emotion until you have a mental breakdown, dingus."
What makes it all the worse is that I lashed at two slaves and an abuse victim. It's not like they'd know anything about my hardships, right?
I've got to apologize as soon as I can. And find a book on meditation. I sense I'll need it if I don't want to blow up like that again. As well as find a proper outlet for my negative emotions. My friends are not punching bags.
Maybe I could ask Iron Rod to teach me how to use a sword, even if I'm too young for it yet. Or a warhammer.
Hmm, somepony opened the door...
"Prince?"
"P-Proper?", I say in a raspy voice.
Fuck, my throat hurt.
"Yes, Prince. I brought you tea, to help you calm down."
Uh. How thoughtful. He set down a tray on the foot of my bed and levitate me a cup, which I take in my hooves, since I don't trust myself to use magic right now. I take a sip.
"Blergh! It's bitter!"
"It may be so, but it will help you sleep. But you need to drink it all."
Fine! I'll drink your garbage juice. I try to gulp it down. And I succeed. Though I'm wondering if it wants to make a return trip.
"There, isn't that a good colt? At least for once in your life."
What?
"Um, Proper?"
"Don't worry, you'll sleep a wonderful sleep."
"Right. GUA-"
Mfffphm!
Where the heck did that pillow come from?!
"Now now, don't throw a tantrum, you brat!", he hisses.
What the fuck Proper? Let me breathe!
Look for the font...
"It's no use, brat! The tea was meant to render you impotent."
Shit! I begin to trash about.
"Why not a poison, you ask? Simple. Nothing that could kill an alicorn is subtle enough."
Fuck! My lungs are on fire!
"Now, just lay your little, empty head and-Aaaah!"
*Inhale*
"Koff-koff, arghh, urk...wha-what the -urmph- hell?"
"Get off me you whore!"
He swats something away. It land on the floor in a tumble. Wait...Cady!? I jump off the bed next to her.
"Leave -urph- her alone!", I screech.
"Oh, stop it you brat! Always so selfish!"
"Selfish? I'm not the one trying to murder somepony!"
"I wouldn't if you would just listen! When I first became your majordomo..."
Keep talking, moron. Reach the font, let it flow, purify the streams...
"...I thought I could finally reach the position I deserved. To have the ear of the future Emperor! But you wouldn't listen! Always ignoring me and brushing me away! But no longer! I'll be rid of you and I will finally be able to play the Game again! Free of you and your childish tantrums about 'Justice' and 'Compassion'!"
"Is that all? You got angry a child wouldn't listen to you?"
"'Is that all?' You ungrateful brat! I sacrificed years of my life for you!"
"No you didn't! You sacrificed them for something you felt you were entitled to. I sincerely doubt my mother told you you could manipulate me for your own gain!"
He screams and lunge at me. Seems he's finally out of patience. And out of time!
"IGNIS!", I shout.
He bursts into flame, screaming bloody murder. I help Cady stand and we make a run for the door. Which open right as we reach it.
"What's going on in here?!", a guard shout.
He sees Proper trying to grab us and jump over us, rearing up and smashing in Proper's skull. And here I thought it looked ridiculous when ponies fought on the show. The guard turns to us.
"Sire, are you alright?"
"Y-yes. I think so..."
"I'll have somepony bring you to the Physician."
He guides us out of the room. He calls over another guard, and tells him to bring us to the Infirmary. All the while I kept a wing wrapped around Cadance, to try and reassure her, since she's shaking like a leaf.
"It's okay", I whisper. "It's over now."
We reach the Infirmary and the nurses rushes us in. It's not long before we're both in bed, being fussed over. That is, until Celestia arrived.
"SOLUS!"
Ouch. And I thought I was loud when I used the Royal Capslock. And she's trying to crush me. Well, it's probably a hug, but still.
"I'm fine, Mother. Please stop crushing me."
The hug loosen up, but she doesn't let go.
"Are you sure? Maybe he poisoned you, or-"
"He didn't. He said it would be too obvious."
"He was stupid enough to attack you in the first place."
Fair enough. What was he expecting, really?
"Even if he did, I'm surrounded by healers. I won't die tonight, Mother."
"I...I know. I'm just worried about you."
That's heartwarming. Where was that hidden my entire life?
"I'm tired, Mother. Could I sleep?"
Yes, go away. I'm still not done processing what you are in relation to me.
"R-right, of course."
She reaches down and kiss my cheek. Blergh! No, that's too fucking creepy!
"Goodnight, Solus."
And she leaves. Just like that. Had I known she could be this reasonable in private...
Hindsight is 20/20, right?
I look on my right, to see how Cady is doing. Uh, she's asleep.
"We put her to sleep with a spell, Prince", a nurse says. "We could do the same for you, if you wish."
Somehow, I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep on my own.
"Yes, please."
She nods, her horn lightening up, and I begin to feel drowsy...
What a beautiful day! We are in a grassy field, under a tree. It's sunny and I'm surrounded by my friends! There's Cadance and Mac, playing tag around the blanket, laughing and smiling, Shiny is beside me and I help him read a book, Mom is eating a cake (not a slice, a cake), and Proper...
Proper? Why is he looking at me like that?
Suddenly, he lunges, grabbing my neck and choking me!
"I hate you! You killed me!"
I didn't mean to!
"You made my life hell! All because you can't let go of the past!"
No, you were just a greedy bastard!
"Was I? It's easy to dehumanize your enemies like that. Do you even know if I have a family?"
No...
He begins to burn and melt away.
"I'm burning because of you! You murdered me!"
You were trying to do so first!
"You're still a killer! A monster!"
Only a charred corpse remain. I buck his chest, which caves-in.
"This is your punishment! Suffer for your crimes! Look!"
He picks me up and throw me. I land in front of Mac and Iron Rod.
"Why didn't you help me?", Mac says in a hollow voice.
His body is scarred all over, blood seeping from countless cuts, blackened by bruises that mar his body.
I didn't mean to! I wanted to help!
"You did help! He's going to be a great weapon!", Iron Rod says cheerfully.
No! He's just a child!
"So? Speak up if you want to stop it!"
I open my mouth but my teeth begin to fall out as soon as I do.
"Not able to speak up for the little one? Some friend you are! Hey maggot! Go rape the pink one, she deserves it!"
What? No!
"I can't hear you!"
Mac approaches Cadance and climb on top of her.
NO! PLEASE, STOP!
"Hey, open your mouth, whore!"
NO!
A hoof turn my head away.
"Now, now, don't look at those beasts, my sweet child."
Mother?
She kisses me, her tongue slithering in my mouth. She moans, using her hoof to keep my head in place.
"Isn't that pleasant? Oh look, there's your friend about to be punished!"
Shiny?
"Please, stop, I'll be good!", he wails.
Velvet whips his flank, her face distorted by anger and hatred.
"That's what you always say. Apologize!"
"I'm sorry!"
She whips him again.
"Sorry who?!"
"Sorry Mother!"
Mother kisses me again.
"Isn't this exciting?", she says with a manic grin.
NO! Please, stop it! all of you!
"We can't hear you~!"
"STOP IT!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Just a dream, just a dream...
I hold my legs to my chest, shivering. I'm drenched in sweat, labouring to breathe.
"Solus?"
Cady? I hug her, burying my head in her chest, sobbing.
"What's wrong, Solus?"
I whimper, unable to muster the will to respond.
She begins to pet my mane nervously, wrapping her wings around me as best as she can.
"It's okay, it...it was just a bad dream, shhhh."
"Your Highness!?", a nurse says.
"He's okay, he just had a bad dream", Cady replies in my stead.
"If you say so. I'll recast the Sleep Spell."
"No!", I scream.
"Your Highness?"
"I-I don't...don't -sniff- want to-to..."
*sob*
"Don't worry, Prince, I can make sure your sleep is dreamless."
"...O-okay..."
Her horn lights up and she casts the spell.
"It will take longer for the spell to take hold, but it will be completely dream-free."
I nod, still sobbing and unable to speak another word.
The nurse leave, and Cadance try to let go of me. I tighten my hold on her, desperate to have her stay.
"Y-you want me to stay?"
I just bury my head in her chest again.
"O-okay. I'll stay. I'm here, Solus. You're safe."
We lay down, me clutching her in a tight embrace.
"Sleep, everything is going to be okay", she whispers in my ear.
I slowly fall asleep, without releasing my hold on her.
I feel like he should be more worried right now. I guess it depends on your defenition of impotent. Do you mean unable to satisfy the requirements of child-making, as sexually isn't really 'proper' here, or did you mean something else?
Nice chapter, good to know those old fight or flight responses are working!
Gravitas: Dude, poor taste.
says the character who isn't older that a day old right now.
G: good point.
Anyways, Amazing chapter! keep up the good work and by the by, for your first fic ever, this is beyond impressive. you sir have a natural talent I havn't seen since I read FOE. This story has the potential to reach that level if you are this good on your first story if you keep this up and improve from here.
This wasn't dark at all. The dream was a little close but not much. And seeing this chapter makes me think. You should make this a mature story. It will give you more room to right the darker stuff about this world. There might even be a part where war breaks out. The slaves fighting off their owners. Could get pretty messed up only to have our lovable little boy here put a stop to it all and try to clean this land of the sins that hold it. Other than that great chapter and I await your next one. Good day my good man
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Impotent as in unable to us magic. Potentia means power in Latin.
where is your patreon page?
The first small victory was achieved! Huzzah! (Seriously, we need a "Luna Huzzah Emote")
Wow. That assassination attempt was so sloppy that it was almost painful to read... All he did was make sure he couldn't use magic, but he would still have the Earth Pony triat, he also made the mistake of doing when his friends were near .-. there was also the part where Solus was still awake, like seriously, could he not wait until Solus fell asleep? The assassination attempt was pathetic. Now I don't mean it was written bad but Proper just done it in a very stupid way.
the kids got demons
8310471
Might think about changing it to "weakened" then. They're all speaking English and the English meaning of impotent is very different from the Latin.
Nice... i feel that a time skip is nearby
I wonder if Luna will return as Luna or Nightmare Moon...
I still really encourage world building here. And, also exploring Solus' thoughts, reactions, and emotions tells me that he kinda have not gotten that life is unfair and harsh when he was human.
Yes, the dream was on point because his brain saw the event traumatic and will likely plague him for many nights until he settles his thoughts on the matter.
We can see that his first impression of celestial isn't that great but to put in the ridiculous incestry as a base for more ummm... Negative feelings is not really that much big of a deal because its not bigger than slavery. Also, incest is wild during medieval times and royalty does it all the time so its understandable here... Kinda.
I sure am hoping for more cadence, but note that she's still the first concubine so she's like a royalty or a high ranking official. So political maneuvering!!!
First off:Worst assassination attempt I've ever seen (and I watched game of thrones).
Second: Keep up the story!
Really enjoyed the chapter, No spelling errors that I could see and everything made sense, Except Proper being stupid... LOL but I guess if you go insane enough to try to do what he did, well, kinda makes sense in that respect.... So in the end good chapter, really enjoyed it. I'm glad to see the longer chapters like this or longer. Makes the story more fun to read. Also, allows for better flow while reading it....
I think the Daybraker chapter you did the other day could have been lengthened with more details but that could just be me...
In the end keep the good stuff coming and don't rush it... You're doing good....
Are . . . . are all the ponies inbred?
Because all of them seem . . . really dumb.
What kind of assassination attempt was that O.o?
8310612
And I agree with you there. It is great as is. But I was just giving my opinion on the matter
8310516
As Nightmare Moon.
It was specificated in Celestia's chapter, so there isn't good princess incoming, just different dictator.
8310614
The problem with making it mature is that it limits your audience, and if the story isn't a one shot clopfic that restriction is almost crippling to a story on this site.
So Cadence comes to the rescue in this chapter? Uhhh... Mac? You might want to prepare yourself to be punished considering Solus wanted you as his bodyguard, Celestia knows this and you probably did not meet her expectations considering the attempt actually got to that point...
I Honestly expected this... Welp Didn't like that damned 'Butler' anyway
I don't know about the rest of you but i can't wait for the next chapter
8310766
Thats what we all want
8310713
Does it really hurt that bad? Oh wow.
Alright, couple of things:
GREAT story. Honestly, I'm loving the whole thing. I love the characterization, I love the little nudges of world building, this is a simple and pleasant read for me.
....but jesus christ, as others are saying, that is the WORST assassination attempt I think I've ever read or seen. Honestly, the only way it could be more of a blunder is if Proper attempted to kill Solus with a butter knife at dinner, in full view of everyone, Celestia included, while screaming "I'm going to kill you now!"
THAT is my only gripe with this thus far. Proper had a crap motive that was more "Meh, really?", his method was laughable at best, and WHO it was... genuinely didn't care. Proper just felt like one of these side characters who was just "there." Like... there didnt feel like there was any prior hints leading up this betrayal, but neither was he portrayed to be a character who wouldn't do this. If it as suppose to be a twist or a shock or a surprise it just wasn't. I'm as apathetic to the fact now as I was before.
The Celestia mating with the progeny thing? THAT was a genuine shock, and delight, to read. Right amount of build up and punch. If you were looking to replicate that... well... keep trying?
Well this was a nightmare inducing chapter, good thing I'm used to seeing the worst out of these.
Anyway, I'll just wait for the next chapter... 😶
Hisss, such burn.
Can someone remind me how Solus looks like?
8310937
It's in the description.
Honestly he could've done a little better I believe >.<
Nightmares... they are a pain! Cady will probably star a bigger role now in Solus' life.
When put on trial, don't give the death penalty for royal assassination. Make it life in prison because "worst assassination attempt ever."
Then again from Celeste just point of view, it might come back and bite him in the ass so it might be best to kill him now.
He's going to really suffer either way so it might be best just to kill him quickly.
This chapter seemed a bit... off to me.
Proper's assassination attempt just seems out of left field with no real indication that it could even be a thing before this point. A tea designed to remove the ability to reach magic in his system? Check. Face being blue-lipped from asphyxiation? Check. Loud thumping from Cadance attacking Proper when there was somone right out in the hall? Check. None of it really make sense. It just seems... forced or something. At the very least the situation is NOT as straightforward as it seems. Something else is going on here.
And if it really is as straight foward as it seems.... which I find VERY hard to believe, how the hell did he expect to get away with it with the above "blue in the face" indications, amongst others?
Also makes me wonder if the death of Blueblood the 15th was carried out in a similar manner.
Corona/Celestia damn well better be VERY appreciative to Cadance for saving her son/clone.
I also wonder if from her prison on the moon, Nightmare Moon can see into the nightmares of the ponies below... She might be able to see into the dreams that torment Solus, and make them all the worse... or try to manipulate him somehow.
But the assassination really does seem shoehorned in to place... I swear there is something else going on here.
Keep up the good work!
Edit: As an afterthought, this is going to cause Solus even more problems. If he can't trust Proper who was around him for years, who can he trust?
i dont know what to comment
8311077
That's assuming that the full body third degree burns and fractured skull didn't already do him in.
A nightmare only a human mind could conjure
Hmm, if Proper did have a family, I think in some olden places, the death of a whole family line is the usual punishment, plus close relatives if the penalty saw fit for it.
8311167
He did mention that after he kills Solus, he'd get to play the Game again. Meaning at some point, it's either he's been playing to control Solus or he planned to use his position to garner bribes and influence from the noble houses to have him subtly steer Solus towards their agendas. But that brings us to something of interest, if Proper killed Blueblood the 15th, was it possible that others of the late generations were also reincarnated? Being too smart or stubborn with preset notions of right and wrong that would've painted them as "failures"
I know it probebly won't happen but I would love nightmaremoon appearing in the dreams of characters to try and influence them in some way. (Or maybe Luna could call out for help or comfort I don't know) but any appearance of her character outside of a flashback before her release from then moon would be pretty cool.
You may want to go back and edit some of celestia old English sections as it is pretty clear that a lot of it was misspelled/outocorrected. (if you don't that's fine but keep it in mind when you do more old English)
On a more positive note I am adoring this story and your sudden burst of new chapters made me very happy :) I can't wait to see where this story goes.
This chapter is... ok... I'm not sure where the author really wants to take it anymore but I guess that's the point.
8310471
The generally accepted meaning of impotent in English is sexually incompetent. If a word has no equivalent in English, I can understand a different languages translation of it but for an English word you should really use ones that people understand your intention better.
My only problem with this chapter is that i cant believe that someone on propers position would try such an obvious and suicidal assasination attempt at the very least he should wait untill solus was alone and bribed/lured the guards away
If his intention was to use solus on the game earning his trust and faking interest on solus ideals of freedom and slowly manipulating him to do favorable things to his interests would make more sense. Someone on propers position would have a brain and probably not try to kill him like the village idiot would.
I want to read this but im afraid its just gonna make me depressed again...
to be burning in hell.... well the dream fits that line....
He dead he just got napalmed his death Should have been slow and painful Hahaha
Would Proper happen to resemble any of the ponies in the above clip?
8311782
I don't usually post on here, but I must say that impotent can be used effectively here as meaning "without power." Potent is used to describe something powerful and the English dictionary lists impotent accordingly. The word has both definitions. It may be a pop culture thing, but I actually would have never guessed that impotent could relate to "sexually disabled." Props for bringing this up.
8311201
i don't know what a comment even is! OMG! HOW AM I DOING THIS?!?!
Eh bien, tu as créé un beau bijou d’un BiE dans un monde alternatif et j’ai beaucoup ton approche d’un Equestria destoptpy et que notre valeureux héro va tenter de changer le sort de la populace pour le mieux. J’ai bien hâte de voir ce que tu vas produire et avec le thème de l’histoire que tu as je croix que cette histoire pourrait aller dans n’importe quel direction aussi sordide et dramatique. Je suis encore plus heureux de voir que c’est un frère Québécois qui est en train d’écrire cette histoire.
C’était tout une surprise de voir que Solus est le produit consanguinité qui remonte à de plusieurs générations et qu’ils étaient de sang avec le nom de Blueblood est plutôt horrifiant. Je me demande si la famille Blueblood est d’un une d’un groupe de Celestia appart et qu’on va voir ses membres plus tard dans histoire et comment plus grave qu’ils peuvent être que dans les émissions.
Je suis bien heureux de voir Sunset Shimmer se trouve dans l’histoire, care je suis un grand admirateur de son personnage même quand elle était dite méchante pour son caractère ambitieuse pour et le fait qu’elle est parvenu à ce recomposé après sa grande chute et avoir à avoir apprit à devenir une meilleur sans totalement le perdre montre la force de son caractère tant qu’à moi. Je croix qu’elle pourrait devenir une grande aide pour Solus si ce n’est que de ne voir les avenu de possibilité que les autre ne verront pas du premier coup.
Je ne peux pas te faire des grandes promesses on ce moment, car je suis très occupé à jonglé avec plusieurs projets en même temps, mais je voudrais bien t’aider come je peux du mieux que je peux en ma manière propre. Je te souhaite bonne chance dans ce projet d’écriture.
Aussi, je voudrais que to jette un coup d’œil dans ma galerie de DeviantArt si, tu as la chance, peut-être que tu en reconnaîtrais quelques uns de mes oeuvres et qu’elle te permettra d'inspirera à travailler plus fort sur ton projet.
http://amalgamzaku.deviantart.com
Celestia/Corona: "Ah, my son's first assassination attempt. sniff They grow up so fast
I really love this story so far and I love what you have been doing with the celestia/solus thing the inbreeding thing
I really hope you can continue it more and raise the stages of it because I am finding it interesting to read his struggles with and it ads some unique story
In other words I'm just a horny,perverted,bisexual guy with no life and I'm very lonely and this kinda love inbreeding thing is the only rare type of stuff that brings me happiness because I'm such a faggot =( =( =( =( =( =(
8310486
There is a big difference between knowledge and wisdom, my friend.
It is a little bit sad that this is turning out slightly weird, but maybe this gives what comes later a better uuuhhhh, it maybe will look better later.
8310486
As usual, the idealistic will be underestimated. The slaves will be underestimated. It's sloppy, but I can see his ego letting him half-bake the plan.