Forbidden Land

by Mane-Shaker

1 Summer Sucks!

Author's Note:

Welcome to my fourth fic heavily inspired by the game Dwarf Fortress and the famous saga of Boatmurdered, pretty DAMN popular among the hardcore gaming community of the old days and some remote zones of the internet like Reddit.
In a short explanation, Boatmurdered was a succession game back in 2006, some months after the game got released. Each player would rule the fortress for 1 year in-game time, and then he would pass the save file to the next player in the list. The saga is pretty much all downfall with hilarious storytelling and chaos.

You don't need to know the game to fully enjoy the infamous tale of one of the most epic fortresses made in the game's history.
In the case you know the game and/or the saga of Boatmurdered, I hope you enjoy my story. And I promise references to the original story that might sound familiar for those who know about It, and journals of the overseers that Mane and Pinkamena will find also heavily inspired BUT not complete copies.

And in the remarkable words of the notable player StarkRavingMad:

WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED

PS: Starting a new fic with a "couple quarrel". I'm going places!

2 months after "Stolen Technology"

The start of June, marked per usual by the coming of the hot temperatures. Celestia's sun raging in heat in the sky, good times to go to the pool, beach or even the river and take a refreshing bath outside while enjoying a cold drink.

Everypony was happy... except one guy, hiding in the basement from society along with his pink friend.

"I. HATE. SUMMER!" Mane Shaker screamed while laying in the sofa.

"Why? And stop screaming! I got it already." Pinkamena complained, sitting on the smaller sofa next to him while cleaning her knives.

"It's easy to understand. I'm from the north, I'm used to the cold. My fur as a tendency to be more fluffy." Mane explained.

"If I give you a cold coke with a lemon slice, will you stop complaining?" Pinkamena sighed.

"Extra cold please." Mane begged. "Or better yet, make me an Applejack Daniels. Extra extra ice."

"We are out of whiskey. You drank It all last night, dummy!" Pinkamena complained again.

"I was thirsty. Heat makes me thristy." Mane sighed in boredom.

"Well start drinking cold things then. I know you have an alcohol resistance but fucking hell!" Pinkamena checked the cabinet where their mini-bar was, with most of the bottles empty. "I guess we are going to the pay a visit to your bounty hunter friends this night."

"At least It's fresher during that time..."

---

Later that night

Sneak by the shadows as always, dodging the squads of the Royal Guard patrolling the streets looking for them, this time they were more due to Mane's provoking letter he sent to Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire.

They arrived at the abandoned building and went to the basement, where Mane knocked at the door and the dark yellow bouncer with spicky green hair greeted them again. And per usual, the whole place welcomed them.

"Hey! It's Mane!" Said a voice. "How was the trip to the Crystal Empire?"

"Good I guess. Lots of things changed there." Mane answered with a smile.

"We saw the news." Mixer, the barcolt waved the outdated newspaper. "You two really thrashed that mansion."

"That place was like a war zone." Pinkamena sighed, taking the seat next to Mane in his reserved table. "You should have been there to see the episode in the motel..."

"Yeah... about that." Mixer turned the pages of the newspaper to the topic. "Shit Mane, you totally lost It there."

"I don't wanna talk about It. Serve us the coldest thing you have there." Mane requested making a two with his fingers. "The heat is killing me."

"We are also here to refill our supply. This drunkass finished our bar..." Said Pinkamena gazing at Mane with a frustrated stare.

"Hey, you know I very rarely get drunk." Mane retaliated.

"Whatever..." Pinka sighed.

Mixer served the soft drinks with an exaggerated number of ice cubes in the glasses. Mane quickly took It to his mouth and drank half of It in seconds, letting the breath with the smell of his drink come out.
After some moments, a huge figure sit next to them. A dark green unicorn, white hair and light grey beard, wearing a black t-shirt and ragged jeans like Mane. The beard telling his age, but his physic showed his young and strong spirit.

"Ah... Thunder Fists." Mane forced a smiled. "It's been a while."

"It sure is. Did you complete the contract?" Thunder asked smiling as well.

"The guy is more than dead." Pinkamena answered. "Rich bastard, undercover criminal mastermind in the drug trade and weapons. Topaz was his name, middle aged but ruthless. He was the godfather of a local mafia."

"I see... Well, good job. I knew I could count on you." Thunder Fists laughed.

"Not without the Royal Army in my ass." Mane complained.

"That was to be expected honestly..." Thunder pulled out his pipe and a little bag of tobacco. "Do you mind if I smoke next to you, miss?" The strong elder looked at Pinkamena.

"Nah. Just puff to the other side." Pinkamena answered. "This is your place, I don't have control in what you do here."

"It's called being a gentlecolt." Thunder smiled while using his magic to lit up the tobacco. "So. Do you have any plans?"

"Are there any new contracts?" Mane asked in a grumpy way.

"There are, but not inside your interests." Thunder answered.

"Well fuck It then. I'm gonna play some darts." Mane stood up and walked to the target and picked the three darts on It and walked away to the line in the floor. He launched the three darts kind of in a irritated way and missed all of them, proceeding to stomp the floor in frustration. He tried again, missing the three darts again and this time stomping even more and starting to scream his nerves out, making quite the scene attracting some attention.

"What is wrong with him?" Thunder whispered to Pinkamena.

"Summer time, a fluffy fur from the Frozen North. You get It..." Pinkamena answered back with a sigh.

"I know the feeling. This beard is a problem sometimes too." Thunder laughed. "Say, how was the trip to the north?"

"Very pleasing. I didn't knew an entire city could be made of minerals." She answered happily. "In our way back, we though about going somewhere else, for a change."

"Where are you going?" The elder asked taking a puff on his pipe.

"There's a place in Equestra's map called Undiscovered West. north of Las Pegasus. We wondered why it's called like that, and we both have an interest in finding out stuff. In this age, why hasn't It been explored yet?"

"Hmm..." Thunder leaned towards her, so only both of them could hear It. "I wouldn't suggest."

"Why?" Pinkamena asked confused.

"A lot of shit happened there in the old ages... Hellish shit..." Thunder lowered his voice to a conspiratorial tone. "Not many know what happened there, only in history books for hardcore historians and some old stories."

"What precisely?" Pinkamena asked.

"I don't know. Maybe if you both read a book about It, but if you're gonna travel there, I suggest you go armed and with precaution."

"I don't mean disrespected, but if they are only stories, I personally don't give a shit. I'm going there with Mane." Pinka took a sip of her drink.

"If you say so, then I'll don't be surprised if I don't hear from you aga-... DAMMIT SHAKER!!!" Thunder interrupted himself with a roaring scream.

Pinkamena turned around to see everypony there looking at Mane breaking the dart's target into pieces, by stomping It on the floor countless times. The heat was really making a number on his patience.

"You're gonna pay for that!" Thunder screamed pointing at him in the other side of the tavern.

"Of course I'm gonna pay! What about you buy some fucking fans for this place?!" Mane answered screaming as well.

"I was thinking of that the other day! Maybe your money will go to them!" Thunder answered with his nerves by the limit.

Pinkamena stood up quickly and walked fast towards Mane and held his arm. He slowly calmed down with her by his side, and pulled out his money pouch, putting some golden bits in a nearby table.

"Here's your fucking money..." Mane snarled.

"Calm down. Getting angry won't make It better..." Pinkamena whispered hiding her face behind his shoulder ashamed from the scene he was making. "Let's buy the stuff we came here for and let's go. We need to talk about our trip."

---

Back in the basement...

"Easy on the whiskey, we just came back!" Pinka complained while putting down the bottles in the table.

"Fuck the Summer..." Mane answered with a rude gesture.

*PAF!*

The pink mare slapped him with all her strength in the back of his head,and Mane took It by surprise and even spitted out the drink in his mouth.

"The fuck was that for?!" Mane asked rubbing where she hit him.

"You better behave in the next days if you desire to explore the Undiscovered West, or else I'm not going with that attitude!" Pinkamena's eyes were flashing in her sadistic rage, while pointing a finger right towards Mane.

"Well shit, sorry then. But this heat is killi- WOA!" Pinkamena interrupted him by grabbing Mane's vest by the collars and pulling him towards her until their muzzles were almost touching.

"Listen here..." Her voice was menacing and Mane knew that kind of tone from her was not to be messed with. "If you don't cool down that temper of yours, I swear It's not the summer's heat who is gonna kill you..." She slowly putted a hand around his neck and squeezed It lightly. "I'll rip your fucking throat out of your neck and take out your vocal cords with my bare hands after going to the toilet without washing my hands!" Her tone changed to a psychotic one, and Mane could see that side of her almost snapping by his fault.

"I'm sorry... I'll shut up even if I have to sew my mouth shut." Mane whimpered. "And... p-p-please don't look at me like that."

"Are you scared..?" She asked in a low but terrifying voice.

"Yes..." Mane whispered in fear.

"Are you scared, Mane?!" Pinka raised her voice.

"Yes!" Mane started to go down on his knees.

"ARE YOU SCARED, MANE?!!" Pinkamena screamed out in rage, making him start crying.

"Y-YES!!!" Mane cried in terror from her stare.

Pinkamena with a single move pushed him making him fall on his rear on the floor, crying a bit in pure horror. He crawled backwards while whimpering from the scary pink mare. She didn't say anything else and headed to the exit of the basement.

"You're not the only one who is scary when angry..." She mocked in an angry tone.

"W-where are you going?" Mane asked in a fragile voice.

"Gonna pay a visit to Twilight's library. Gonna get some books borrowed."

"You mean snatch them? For what?" Mane tried to stand up from the floor but the coldness in the energy she emitted from those moments still had him frozen in fear.

"Thunder Fists told me some stuff from the Undiscovered West that we could only find in history books." Pinkamena pulled the lever to the secret door. "You better think about your behavior until I come back." Pinkamena glanced at him again. "Understood?"

"Y-yes ma'am..." Mane answered nodding quickly.

"She's more frightful than I ever though..."