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Twilight Sparkle wants to organize her books. Out of habit. Once she clears the shelves, however, she starts thinking about a certain butter yellow pegasus. As if in a trance, she goes to her cottage and asks for a dance. Things escalate from there.
A story about Twilight's feelings for Fluttershy and how she takes care of them.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This looks very promising.
7464880 Thank you
Pretty good.
7466173 Thanks!
I like it already!
7466289 your welcome
well... okay, this wasn't bad. it was okay i guess. i just didn't enjoy it as much as i was expecting to. conclusion jumps happened a bit here in the not good way and it felt a bit too tell and not enough show.
also, there was no transition between the end of the dance and them suddenly having tea in fluttershy's kitchen.
it was never established where they were dancing, so we're left to assume it is outside fluttershy's cottage since they were at the door before the dance started, so them suddenly sitting down is confusing and jarring when we're told they're having tea. it makes it seem like part of the story was missing.
overall, not a bad story, but it just wasn't that good for me. Definitely a Meh story
7490848 Okay, thanks for the feedback. I'll do better in the next TwiShy story I write. No need to feel sorry, for comments like this motivate me to improve.
where's the cover art from, it looks familiar
7605488 It's edited from Lyra and Bon Bon from Slice of Life
7606870
I thought it looked familiar, thank you.
I hope you don't mind but, I did a reading of your story!
Youtube Reading