The Broken Bond

by TheApexSovereign

VI.V - A Little Bit of Empathy

Twilight massaged the stiffness in her neck. Simply stopping herself from bending it at a ninety-degree angle would be prudent, but so would penning a letter to Celestia, discussing this with Starlight, and, heck, just talking to her from the start. Like a friend, however hard it might have been for them both.

Altogether, letting go of her volatile emotions fueling these selfish decisions.

To stop being afraid. Stop doubting yourself, she thought, hardening her heart. This is for the best. This was the best, most efficient way to help Starlight. Arguing over an inevitability would only strain their freshly-mended bond.

Of course it would have.

Twilight shuffled, a bid to occupy brain space not unlike chewing bubblegum. The effect became null once rationalized as such, like with every other distraction, every justification. She cursed her brain.

What am I doing? This isn’t right, it can’t be, it doesn’t feel like it, she thought, and then, Yes it is. For Starlight, Equestria, this is right.

Rarity came into sight, who laid on “the plushest bed” of grass bronze as a sunset, yet remaining upon the edge of life with nopony to water it. Beside her, Applejack was advising the proper way to band the sticks together.

“You need any help, girls?” asked Twilight.

“For the last time,” Rainbow moaned, dumping a bundle of dry and crusty vine nearby, “we got this, Egghead. Save your magic for the real part. If you gotta help these knuckleheads with the raft, then make sure it’s—ah…” She rolled her hoof, sweetly trying to decide something nice but condemning herself regardless.

“‘Practical,’ is what you’re tryin’ to say,” finished Applejack. “We aren’t wasting our time with frou-frou nonsense, y’hear?”

Rarity huffed. “Not that I blame you for presuming my mindset is ‘there,’ as it were—”

“Not that anypony’s even can be!” Pinkie cheered, to no one’s amusement.

Rarity continued, “I care not for the beautification of what will be an ugly mode of transportation regardless. I wanted this done five minutes ago, Applejack—nay, I wanted this done a month ago!”

Applejack spat the vine she was yanking into a tighter knot. “We’ll sink like a well-fed pig an’ be… consarnit, black stuff-food if this ain’t plugged n’ shaped proper-like!”

“Actually, it’s no deeper than a filly pool! Look! See?” All eyes turned to Pinkie as her tongue made a cheeky advance on the inky substance coating the tip of a crooked makeshift oar. “Ohh! I gonna lick i’!”

And then she was yanked into Fluttershy, bumping snouts with their friend’s pale, set face as she tugged once more, retrieving the oar. “Please,” muttered Fluttershy, taking flight, “don’t joke like that.” She flew to the other side of the raft, which looked almost if not totally complete by Twilight’s reckoning, and dropped it beside a second half-made oar. “I appreciate your efforts, Pinkie Pie. But you should rest… get a good nap before we… we go.” A gulp, and Fluttershy looked a shade whiter.

Pinkie smiled, though her hurt finally showed. “Y-yeah, yeah-yeah I totally get it. No prob, Fluttershy. If you need cheering up,” she added, curling up away from the group, “I’ll be here.”

“Oh, Pinkie,” sighed Twilight. She was definitely trying, cartwheeling without pause until now. Trying to distract them—distract from their purpose being here, from what little they actually knew, even why they were here in the first place.

It was all in vain, as she’d just admitted—for even her mind was elsewhere—but she was trying.

Except one look at anypony’s glazed, distant eyes told that none were here with the mindset to fix a mistake of Starlight Glimmer’s. What, precisely, depended on the pony, and that is where their mind festered—and would continue to do so until this business was put to rest.

Twilight found herself regarding this half-dead world once more.

Starlight somehow spent the past month restraining her curiosity, or perhaps ignoring it, for the sake of functioning normally without this place and its lost history hanging overhead.

Before Twilight, around and around each other the trees together twisted, knotted, stabbed and embraced, as if working together whilst fighting to reach the deep blue above. Tall or squat, a stump or a hundred-armed sentry, whether crushed beneath five curving trunks or piercing all to reach the heavens, it didn’t matter to the masters of this domain. Theirs was made a fortress taller than Canterlot Castle, and luck was on the girls’ side to have flown south on a clear day rather than a foggy one like Starlight.

Before Twilight, the woodland arched into a tunnel spilling out to a bottomless darkness. Those comprising it were smooth as carved wood, Twilight noticed upon sending a wisp of light that was quickly swallowed. Their nakedness, smeared in ink that wasn’t quite the same substance, revealed them to have been shewn of bark. Why? How? What was that ink?

Twilight didn’t entertain the thought any longer than she had when they first arrived.

Starlight hadn’t told them about all of this. Why? Did she know something, or was she that afraid? What was there to be afraid of?

It was fine. It was fine!

The raft was getting its finishing touches by Applejack. Together with Rarity, they’d bound together splinters gathered by Pinkie using vines Rainbow Dash retrieved from one of the distant clusters of partial-life.

The wind sighed, nipping Twilight on the nose. Beneath the crushing atmosphere, the girls murmured to one another. Perhaps Twilight’s Element simply weighed heavy now, unused to sitting on her head after so many years in the Tree of Harmony.

Nonsense. She had donned it fine when confronting the Pony of Shadows. Nay, it was not the crown nor the uncertainty of what was about to happen, for her friends by her side and the secret weapon she’d packed ensured a happy ending for all.

But it was so very quiet. Scanning the horizon behind her, backed by serene blue stood several of mangled biomes which surely teamed with life an era long ago. They were even more quiet. Unmoving. Possibly screaming if they could—how else must it feel to continue existing with nary a shred of life?

Only Fluttershy was brave enough to comment on their state, the atmosphere’s weight. Pinkie joked but ignored it. The rest had worked diligently picking apart the landscape for a raft.

After today, nopony would have to fear this cursed place again. None will have to suffer a union with the Witches of Flutter Valley. Or listen helplessly to her friend’s screams in the night, gripped by nightmares borne of grisly creatures that none could comprehend unless seen with their own eyes.

Perhaps that will be the challenge of this fight, wondered Twilight. Harmonizing and using the Elements in the face of those monsters.

What was there to worry about? Friendship would pull through… but for how long after the fact? What would these things say? What would they do, would they look like? Draggle essentially broke Twilight by crushing Starlight’s poor horn before her very eyes, and she didn’t dare imagine what the other two looked like! Just how would her friends react when true to-the-core evil stared back? Fluttershy admitted she is still ensnared by the memory of Hydia breaking Starlight’s horn off—Stop it, right now.

Fretting would do nopony any good, especially the girls. Twilight just had to take her uncertainty with a “one step at a time” mentality (ignoring how many times she told herself this in the last several minutes).

Twilight sighed. Whether it was paranoia or instinct, this suddenly felt wrong. Almost ill-timed. “Girls—?” Behind her, a crash like glass charged with magic rippled through her, rocking her core while humming in a three-tone moan.

And then silence followed the girls’ collective shriek, shooting up from their spots to take a stance. Rarity, hoof on her Element and teeth bared, held for a full second before her eyes grew wide, and that hoof covered her dropping jaw. The rest followed suit in some variant; Twilight just struggled to blink.

She knew immediately who it was, and did not dare turn around. She didn’t dare make it reality, and dare to process the worst case scenario that had come to pass. Dead. Dead. She’s dead she died because I underestimated… her… ag-ag-again—A shrill cry burst forth and was smothered by her hoof. On Twilight’s back her joints burned dull, her wings flared and stiff in reaction to that distinctively broken teleportation sound.

She could not look. She could not bear whatever sight was ready to greet her, what had stunned even Applejack into a rhythm of hard swallowing.

It was Fluttershy, with tears in her eyes and a smile stretching from behind her hoof, who broke the silence: “S-Starlight…”

And everything snapped into clarity: the heart-pounding quiet Flutter Valley, a ragged pony gasping sobbing and laughing all at once behind Twilight, directly in her ear it seemed.

“H-hey!” Everything was demanded of her just to rasp that. “I said ‘hey.’ Look… Look at me. Please, l-lo-ok—” A gasp. A pant. Sobs. Twilight couldn’t tell which were hers or Starlight’s. “I… said look at me you LIAR!”

The hatred in her voice alone…

The girls whizzed by, and a wiry speck followed on the horizon. Finally, upon a quivering foreleg, the other buckled beneath her, was Starlight Glimmer, forehead billowing smoke like a chimney. No blood though, not a speck.

Her eyes welled, burning deep into Twilight’s, charring her soul. So much pain was in those eyes. “You…” A cry tore ragged from Starlight’s throat, and her forehead slammed unto her buckled foreleg, cradling it. Her mane, wiry and split all over like always, glistened with sweat. Another scream. Twilight had to help her, save her friend. Something, anything!

Why? Starlight cursed. Twilight tried to summon her magic, but all spells she knew were forgotten. Why did I think this was a good idea?!

“Why?” It was her own voice. Twilight was lost, Starlight was perfectly alive yet her heart wouldn’t stop galloping. She suddenly knew what she had to do, she wanted to scream and cry and let Starlight know how stupid this was. “Why did you do that?! Don’t you realize you could have died!? This, everything, it would have been all for—!”

“You,” Starlight snarled, pushing against the earth and her own exhaustion, “...are the last pony who—ugh!” Starlight collapsed, but kept her glare trained on Twilight. “Got no right, scoldin’ me about stupid, insane, selfish stupid stupid STUPID suicide missions!”

She was absolutely right. Twilight had no words. None. She couldn’t possibly—except, no, this was entirely different! Because… because she had her friends now. Except for Starlight…

What is—? Why am I thinking so… irrationally? This seemed like such a good idea, a necessary one, back in Ponyville.

“Hey,” Rainbow whispered, “what’s a ‘sue-his-hide’ mission?”

“A lawsuit I think!” Pinkie hissed.

Twilight shut them out; Starlight was being irrational, too, and she had to realize that. Twilight inhaled, opened her mouth as the logical part of her brain cried out that she was just trying to bring Starlight down to her miserable level.

To hear that pony roar “SHUT UP!” was relieving after the initial lurch of terror.

And that is when Starlight apparently, finally, took note of the ponies behind Twilight, as a softer, more wounded emotion washed her rage away.

“I’m sorry you’re out here. And for yelling, and turning my back on everypony and hurting you all so badly. I’m so, so—oh, words can’t begin to express or amend how I’ve treated you all this past month.” Starlight bit her lip.

A low whistle behind Twilight. “Won’t say I ain’t ticked with how bad you’ve worried us,” said Applejack. “But there ain’t nothin’ to forgive. That there’s the honest truth.”

“R-right. So, uh, so I’ve heard.” And Starlight grimaced, eyes wrenched shut. She cupped her smoking stump, gasping raggedly, and returned with a gentler firmness. “I am well… well aware of how crazy I sounded before. Apologies for that, too. But I actually kinda don’t care right now, so I guess I'm lying again... To tell the truth, I never actually cared, at all, about being nice. It was always so hard for me—the extra steps in guarding my language depending on the pony. I’m sorry for hiding that… and a bunch of other things.”

“Hey, Starlight,” attempted Pinkie, “it’s okay—”

“No.” A shake of the head, and Starlight collapsed on her rump, exhaling roughly. “No, it’s not. For you, sure, but not me. And I’m too scared, miserable, and a whole mess of other things to give a flying feather about courtesies right now,” she said as she massaged her horn, tied to a string of smoke. “So please, listen to what I have to say and ignore how I'm saying it.”

It must have hurt bad.

What am I waiting for?

Twilight remembered and cast the doctor’s numbing spell, subconsciously taking a note from Starlight in combining it with a mending charm.

She hissed louder than a basilisk, drowning Twilight’s feeble apology. But her muscles uncoiled, her trembling ceased. And Starlight’s eyes opened on her, gripping Twilight cold. She was ready to start yelling again. Deservedly so, but that didn’t make being on the receiving end any more pleasant.

“Thanks for that,” she rasped. “But we’re talkin’ here and now... Calmly. Let’s please refrain from yelling, yeah? Forget that I teleported here, and-and I know I shouldn’t have, but—”

‘But.’

BUT?!

“Enough with your ‘buts’ and excuses, Starlight, for goodness’ sake!” A small, tiny, insignificant part of Twilight’s brain flared, glowering hot on her cheeks. Everything else just didn’t care as her voice cracked like dry earth again and again: “I cannot tell you how much I can’t stand this, how you always—always—dismiss your pain as if it just doesn’t matter to anypony! And I know we covered this. I know you’re strong, and wise from the experience; I know you see it as a lesson and I know painfully well how little you care about what it does to you! But I’m not you—I can’t just ignore how I feel like you, because when I do, I end up going on these selfish, stupid, asinine ‘sue-his-hide’ missions that just makes you feel worse and I’m sorry!”

And Twilight gasped, gasped, gasped. Her heart stopped altogether, weighed down with something constricting.

“Ouch,” muttered Rainbow, following with a sharper “Ouch!” courtesy of Applejack, definitely.

Starlight just gazed dumbfounded, or disgusted or horrified, by what her former teacher had been reduced to. Twilight found the sight brutally honest, unbearable as a result. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for this and all of that what I just said, Starlight. Oh, this is all so… out of order. Me, you, this situation.” And it was all because of Twilight: her guilt, her mistrust, all of it. “I wish…” Her face burned. “I wish I was better, I wish I was different. A pony worth admiring and sacrificing yourself for—” And there it was, out in the open. Twilight really just said that? Her heart did not writhe in protest; it sank deep, grave with shame. “I’m… selfish, too. No matter what I say here, or what you think, at the heart of it I dragged us all out here because I was still ashamed of my guilt... Knowing I was the cause of your suffering?” she told the ground. “This whole mess has been the biggest mistake of my entire life.”

Starlight flinched, remained defensive. “I know, Twilight. I know exactly how you feel.” Her ears wilted. “It’s awful. It makes me wanna scream.”

Twilight did, too. But fear, shame, everything Celestia taught her flooded her mind and clogged her windpipe. “I can’t forget about these last several weeks, Starlight. I just can’t,” Twilight breathed. “Nor can I can’t forget about the way you pale every time those creatures are brought up. And I certainly cannot forget the fact that I had the power all along to eliminate your fears. After realizing this, we couldn’t sit a minute longer when there was action to take.”

“It just took defiling my privacy, first, huh?”

Twilight’s skin prickled, stabbed everywhere at once with hot needles. “Yes,” she gasped. “And it was horrible, not just doing it, but rationalizing it, too. And, heh, look at me. Look at how I’m still trying to rationalize it.”

But of all things a smile appeared. Starlight met Twilight’s gaze. “You’re not. Because I get all of that,” she said. “If you think I didn’t realize this immediately… then, deep down, you’re only trying to get me to understand how you feel. Not excusing yourself, because clearly,” she scoffed, gesturing to the monstrous woodland behind them, “none of this is okay with you. But I get that already, too.” Starlight touched her chest. “That’s not what I’m talking about. Why I’m hurt. At least not right now. What I’m angry about, I guess, is you can’t stand the thought of me being dead weight. A hazard.” She spoke louder, more emotionally. “When we finally talked for the first time in weeks, I had thought that meant something more than guilt on your end! I thought that when you said we’d tackle the future together, that meant I was finally gonna stop feeling like a pupil and more like a friend! But… that isn’t the case. Clearly. I’m still somepony to be tended to with hugs and good vibes instead of honest, brutal, deserved reality checks.”

Twilight struggled to inhale. “That’s not what I meant. Starlight, you know—”

“You know me, I thought! You know how I read these things and from the words I’m seeing it seems as if that was just fluff to make me feel good about myself! How much of that was sincere, Princess?!”

“No! That’s not it!” Twilight cried. “All of that was true, Starlight, I swear—I couldn’t have lied if I meant to!”

“Then you lied to yourself!” Starlight’s eyes flashed wetly. “‘We’ll face them together.’ That’s what you said.”

“Starlight—!”

“I thought we were gonna start being fearlessly honest with each other. Clearly not! Because you’re still afraid of me—!”

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you again, Starlight!”

And a sob burst forth.

A stupid cry, again.

And again.

Twilight actually hiccuped. She shielded her shame. “I can’t, Starlight! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for making you feel like this but I couldn’t stand the thought of an even worse scenario then the one we’ve been in for weeks!” It was more than that, though. So much more. “I couldn’t stand thinking about how alone and afraid you are, even in a crowded room… and not being able to do anything about it but accept you don’t care! I still,” she gasped, wavered, “I still hate what I did to you, even! I keep saying this but I do, I really really do—it makes me sick!” Her belly was afire, and no amount of futile squeezing would smother her misery. “And what I made you do, your poor horn, it-it-it just makes me feel, s-so, bad—”

Twilight nearly tumbled back as she was tackled. Warmth locked around her, somepony with the scent of old books and magical char.

“You dummy, I’m sorry.” Starlight wept in her ear. Twilight was frozen—kindness, and so soon even. “Sorry for flying off the handle. Sorry. You were… you’re so kind and great and fearless for doing this for me. And trying to keep me safe. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

The woodland-spotted horizon melted, a blurry mass falling together. “M-me too. F-for everything.”

“We’re alike in a bad way, Princess. We got a lot to work on when we get home.”

She sounded so sure. So confident. As if she knew how this day will end and that it’d be a happy ending, undoubtedly.

“S-Starlight.” Twilight had never been crowned in a sky so blue, so bottomless. “Oh, Starlight,” she breathed, hugging her back.

“I’m sorry for scaring you by teleporting. I wasn’t thinking but I was too scared and worried not to do something crazy, y’know?”

Twilight knew exactly what she was talking about, and was unable to stop herself from feeling fond. “Like you care more about me right now, about your friends, than you do yourself?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you got me. I guess it’s always been obvious.”

“Kind of,” giggled Twilight.

Starlight huffed sheepishly. “But I get it. I really do.” She pulled away, a trembling smile on her face. “But you know what I learned?”

Twilight sniffled, shouldered her left eye of tears. “What?”

“Actually...” Starlight blushed, scratched the back of her head. “Actually, uh, I have Spike to thank for this one.” She sat back, hooves crossed upon her heart as she smiled at the space between them. “We care a lot for others. I’ve… accepted that about myself, despite my mistakes, believe it or not. And so do you, your ability to sympathize is boundless—otherwise, you’d have never seen something worth saving from a one way ticket to Tartarus. And for years, I’ve wondered why that is. And you’ve wondered for weeks why I so brazenly hurt myself if it means bettering the lives of my friends. It took Spike to make me realize that, you and me, we love everypony far, far more than we love ourselves.”

The notion sent an immediate jolt of terror surging forth. “N-no I—!”

Starlight was ready for this as she sealed Twilight’s words with a hoof. Flatly she uttered, “A neurotic upstart with the pressure of being Celestia’s pupil; figurehead of a common social construct you only just began to learn the nuances of several years ago.” She released Twilight’s lips with a smirk. “It’d be not just weird but arrogant if you didn’t set a high bar for yourself!”

Twilight could say nothing. Everything was either a denial or a rationalization that Starlight had already broken down to its simplest elements. Shameful. Utterly disgusting. What in Equestria did Celestia see worth in her, besides her cutie mark?

Surely Starlight would be a better Element of Magic than she.

”Hey, what’s with the face?” Starlight asked. “You always talk like you’re not allowed to have any weaknesses.”

“Because I’m supposed to be better than this!” Twilight cried. “Don’t you understand? I’m—! I’m not a normal pony like you, or any of you! And I hate that. I hate being…” It was so ugly, just thinking about it. Twilight tried scrubbing her forelegs of the shivers. “I… hate… being something that demands perfection,” she said emphatically.

“Says who?” A hoof gripped her shoulder, warm and unafraid even now. Even as Twilight herself felt embarrassed by what just transpired. “Whoever told you that you needed to be perfect? Celestia?”

“No!” She’d always encouraged Twilight just as Starlight was now.

“Your parents, then? Or Spike?”

The worst joke ever. “Definitely not.”

“Anypony?”

Twilight groaned. “Me! Alright? Nopony else, just me!”

“And why’s that?”

“Because…! Because…!” It was too much. She just didn’t get it. “UGH! Because ponies expect better from me! Because they might not say it, but they do, I know they—!” The hooves upon her chest pressed harder. “I know it. The Canterlot elite—”

Starlight laughed, and her laugh became a groan as she cupped her eyes. “Oh, gosh you sound just like me right now,” she muttered. “Well, let me tell ya, Twilight. Nopony likes comparing themselves to a friend they consider perfect. Speaking from experience right here, and it’s a crummy feeling.”

Twilight had never realized. “D-did I—?”

Starlight held up a hoof. “No, no, you didn’t do anything. It was all me. My problems and how I used them as some sort of standard. Like you. If I’m being honest, I still feel that way, only now I want to use that to match my peers.” She cast a smile to the ponies behind Twilight, unflinching. They had had an audience and Twilight completely forgot how they would feel, what they would think of this shameful display. “But being open and real, like we have been these last couple days? Twilight, I’m more comfortable around you now than I ever have before. Other ponies will feel the same if you let them know the real Twilight. Not a wannabe Celestia. Like, who cares what the Canterlot elite thinks? They’re a speck in the world, the real world, we live in.”

What she said made so much sense. And was absolutely terrifying. “Ho-how can you be so sure?”

“Because, well, what Equestria needs is the pony I sacrificed so much for. The pony who cares so deeply for her friends she’s willing to break their hearts if it meant making them feel better. Equestria, I think, doesn’t want another Princess Celestia, this divine, flawless figure we know isn’t the case. A friend is what it needs, what I need. Don’t you see, that’s where you’re at your best? All the times you aren’t mimicking Celestia?”

Twilight inhaled, ready to just deny it without knowing why.

But there was the various kingdoms Twilight had befriended through the efforts of her friends, who followed her example. From Pinkie and the yaks, Rainbow and the griffons, to Starlight and the changelings.

There was all the ponies they helped via the Map.

The Two Sisters themselves, who only in recent years had a true friend in Twilight rather than another subject they had to act for.

Discord, all of Ponyville, the lives they all touched across their various adventures.

All of whom were changed for the better, true, and also become one worried face out of hundreds the day Twilight was thought to have her last party.

And then there was Starlight Glimmer, biting her lip in hopes that anything she said got through Twilight’s thick, single-minded skull.

Starlight, who gave up her world for the sake of Twilight’s. A friend. Not a princess’s.

There… might have been some validity to her words. Twilight thought to say these words, to apologize or explain herself and how she understood. Something in her face made Starlight grin, tear up, and hug her once more before she could get a word in.

Twilight’s heart warmed as she closed her forelegs over Starlight’s spiny back. She was such a frail thing now. They had a lot to fix after today, she thought, but her health was primary.

“Thank you,” was all Twilight needed to say.

“It’s funny,” said Starlight. “I thought we’d have this heated debate about the witches and what we should do. But now? I see you all here with the Elements of Harmony, and I am, too, and after talking like this I know now… this is right. This is where we need to be, right here, right now.”

Twilight hadn’t realize it, but she felt the very same now: confident, whole, totally without fear. It would be scary, sure, but this day would end with the seven of them together, and the Witches of Flutter Valley banished to the Aether, turned to stone, trees, or whatever Harmony needed done to them.

Everything would be just fine.

“Hey, gals!” Pinkie cried. “Lookie lookie!” They parted, turned towards the girls gathered and smiling at the citadel’s maw. “We finished the raft while you were having a moment!”

“Let’s kick this off already, ya hear? We’re burnin’ daylight an’ who knows how slow the goin’ll be.”

“Girls,” Starlight breathed, “oh, you guys, I completely—”

“Save it, ya weirdo!” Rainbow winked. “We’ll have our moment on the ride over. This place is giving Fluttershy the creeps the longer we wait around!”

Fluttershy, grimacing, said nothing, did nothing, but stare a thousand yards away. Twilight recognized that same look from the mirror.

One look at Starlight, the very same they had seen countless times since the incident, suggested the same.

Comments

[Hermaeus Xerxes]

Well, that teleport went better than expected really. Unless there's unseen damage. I hope Glimglam can still feel her face...

Twi and Glimmy having another good talk was definitely great. Twi has some big issues of her own to work through.

Butters going through with this after having seen Hydia... Good on her. There was a time she'd have had to be dragged along.

Next chapter will be the confrontation between the Mane 7, and The Witches then? The hype is killing me.

[Hermaeus Xerxes]

Wait a moment... The Witches gave Glimmy a boost didn't they? Made sure she wouldn't melt her brain. It would make sense.

[Starlight Glimmer1]

9793967
*thinks of the implications* Oh shit.

[Dakun Skye]

9793737
Speaking of numb faces: Where's Fizzle? Letting her charged go into a fray with the witches without her?

[Hermaeus Xerxes]

9794138
I honestly don't see Fizzle doing much good in this tbh. We've already got 2 mentally ill purple ponies out here, and Fizzle is the most... explody. She'd likely just bitch slap Twi and Glimmy for even going to Flutter Valley.

[Hermaeus Xerxes]

9794332
G/W? What does that stand for?

[sonicandmario826]

Absolutely no way Starlight teleported there with no consequences. Something is going to come from that.

Nice seeing the conversation with Twi and Star. Definitely didn’t see the similarities like those the two had before this.

Now we gotta see how the confrontation with the witches turn out.

[TheSneek]

I am very frustrated, and you are the reason.

[TheApexSovereign]

9800520
Can you explain yourself for once?

[TheSneek]

9800662

The pacing of this story is a bit... nerve-grindy. Several chapters go by with the plot not actually advancing, and then something happens that, against all expectations, makes everything worse. The suffering of the characters is long and tortuous, and you just want to see things get better, even just a little bit, and then it gets worse and you get all AAAAAAARGHH.

[TheSneek]

9794380
Magic: the Gathering reference.

G/W means Green/White, aka Selesnya, aka the color combination of classism, conformity, and inescapable predestination.

[TheApexSovereign]

9800694
The grinding pace is a valid criticism, I'll admit. Tbis was in my effort to protray how difficult it is for people with depression to get help, how repetitious their failures seem - which is a hangup of Starlight's established as early as the first couple chapter. The plot IS her depression, after all

[TheSneek]

9800805
After a while it stops being ‘an artistic method to bring across a character’s depression and cycle of self-destructive behavior’ and starts being ‘annoying’.

[TheApexSovereign]

9800818
As is dealing with someone with depression, thus why I put more focus on other character than Starlight herself, because as you can see they all have their own issues that tie into the theme of empathy

[Dakun Skye]

9800827
This is actually why I personally like the story. The vast different threads that are pulled by one characters choices. It was pretty apparent that it was going to be about the reactions of the characters and not the actual choice an effect. (Queue lack of detail of WHAT was actually afflicting Twilight.)

9797716
9799225
9799774
9800253
9800520
Criticisms come in all shapes, but these don't seem like you want to help the story.
I'm hoping it was supposed to be an intentional irony that such responses would be misunderstood by those who read it.

[TheSneek]

9800882
Those were less me offering criticism and more saying what I was feeling at that exact moment regarding this fanfic.

[TheApexSovereign]

9800896
For future reference: keep these to yourself if you can, instead of telling me it's my fault that you're not enjoying this story you've stuck with the entire time of your own volition. Literally screaming in your comments tells me nothing that one of the 23 dislikes haven't with less effort

[TheSneek]

9800920
Noted.