Equestria
“Okay, Angel,” Fluttershy, the timid butter-yellow pegasus spoke, holding the white & troublesome bunny “It’s time for our Pony-Pet-Playdate.” She turned to her side. Sitting on his typical seat was the mixed draconequus & Lord of Chaos himself, Discord. “Discord? Would you like to join us?” He lowered some newspaper that he was eating and swallowed.
“As much as I would like to, Fluttershy,” he answered, standing up. “I sadly do not have a pet to join you. But, I will be here next week for our Tuesday Tea sessions.”
“Oh… alright. I kinda figured you’d have a pet, actually. I was just curious.”
“Of course, I can bring some creatures from my house, but that’d cause a near-apocalyptic end to Equestria… something I’m sure you wouldn't be a fan of.”
“... At least you’re honest. I’ll see you in a week.”
“Ta-ta, Fluttershy.” With a snap of his talon, & a flash of light, he disappeared. Angel proceeded to walk out of the door, but had to hold the struggling Angel in his place.
“Oh, Angel, I know Winona chased you on our last date, but that’s no reason to be a sour apple.” The bunny blew a raspberry as they walked out.
In the crystal castle, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, closely observed the same book she and Sunset Shimmer communicated through. When she wasn’t on her adventures, or even doing anything with her friends, the alicorn took various notes on the book. Spike walked in, still tired & having a mug of fresh coffee in his left claw.
“Twilight?” He grumbled, trying to wake up. “Are you still around that book?”
“...Morning, Spike,” Twilight replied, looking away with a magnifying glass. “Yes, I am. You wouldn’t believe the discoveries I found!”
“Oh… let me guess?… It’s made of paper?”
“Not just any paper! This type of paper is actually from a tree that isn’t normal in that of Equestria! Wherever this paper & tree came from, it’s bursting with magic, and it’s powerful!”
“So… we have an alien book?”
“Not exactly. My best guess is that this book must’ve came from somewhere similar, yet different, from our world. Maybe something like a pocket dimension… or an alternate universe… or even a-!”
“Your 10 o'clock pet-play date?”
“...10 o’clock pet-play date?” she looked to to the clock, seeing the time. It was 9:55. “...AHH!!! THE 10 O’CLOCK PET-PLAY DATE!!!” She hastily ran into the next room. “Owlicious? Owlicious!? Where are you!?” Some knocking was heard on the front. “GAH!!! Uh… Spike! Answer the door! Oh, where are you, Owlicious!?”
Outside, Twilight’s friends stood near the door, each with their pet, ready for their monthly 10 o'Clock Pet-Play date. Fluttershy stood, holding the still struggling Angel Bunny, but next to her was Applejack holding the leash to her dog, Winona; Rarity with her snow white cat, Opalescence, who was in her cage; Rainbow Dash with a leash around her helicopter flying Tortoise, Tank; and finally, with it’s mouth over Pinkie Pie’s face, Gummy the toothless alligator. They stood there in silence, with the sound being the whirring of Tank’s propellers and the panting of Winona.
“...Is she even awake yet?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Calm yourselves,” Rarity replied “She’s probably finding Owlicious as we speak.”
“Or what if Owlicious is finding her!?” Pinkie exclaimed.
“That’s ridiculous,” Applejack replied. “I doubt Owlicious can find her way ‘round the castle to find Twi.”
“Oh, I hope everything's alright.” Fluttershy quipped. Angel still struggled.
“Uh… what’s wrong with Angel?”
“Oh, sorry, Applejack. Angel doesn’t want to go, and he’s being a ruffle pants about it.” The door opened and Spike appeared at the exit. He sipped his coffee, letting out a content huff.
“...You better sit down and wait.” He spoke. “Twilight’s been busy with her research and-” Angel popped out of Fluttershy’s hooves and bounced past Spike and into the castle. Fluttershy gasped and made chase, pushing Spike out of the way.
“Angel Bunny!” She yelled in her anger, yet still gentle voice. “You get back her, right now! You’re in big trouble, Mister!”
Twilight came back into the study room with the book, now with Owlicious on her back. Turned out, Owlicious was sleeping in his room, and awoken by the sound of the knocking, letting out his ‘Hoo’s. However, Twilight jumped as Angel ran to her.
“Angel!?” Twilight asked in total surprise. Owlicious flew away, landing on a higher bookshelf, watching the madness below as Angel ran around the confused Alicorn, followed by Fluttershy entering.
“Angel!” Fluttershy pouted. The rabbit landed on Twilight’s head and mocked his master, blowing out another raspberry. “ANGEL!!!” Fluttershy flapped her wings and charged at the bunny and Alicorn. Angel jumped out of the way, leaving Fluttershy to crash into Twilight.
“...Ow.” Twilight spoke.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!”
“It’s okay… Angel’s not cooperating again?”
“Um… yes… you can say that.”
“Figures. Alright, let me see what I can do.”
Twilight got up and her horn glowed, ready to blast a spell that would capture the rabbit. Unfortunately, Angel kept bouncing around the room, hopping faster than Twilight could fire her magic. This got Twilight from annoyance to just anger as the bunny kept jumping around, making her hit the various books on the shelves. With an aim, she followed her target and fired another blast! Angel, however, saw the blast and turned around. The Blast of magic, however, hit the book she and Sunset used to communicate with each other. The book shook violently, glowed, opened itself, floated into the air, and flipped through it’s pages, opening a portal! Though Twilight and Fluttershy stopped, seeing the portal open, rather than being able to ask questions, the portal began to suck everything in & around it! Various papers, quills, & ink bottles began to enter the portal, and it only became stronger by the second. Both Twilight and Fluttershy turned around and tried to run away, but the sucking became stronger. The two flapped their wings as hard as they could, and, though it seemed as if they could escape, Fluttershy screamed loudly!
“HEEELP!!!” The Shy pegasus screamed as she was being pulled in.
“Fluttershy!!!” Twilight screamed back, turning to see her friend’s hindlegs and tail enter. She turned around, flapping her wings backward to both puller her friend out & avoid being sucked in herself. Their hooves touched and they both tried to get away, but the gravity was becoming unbearable.
“T-Twilight! You have… to… let… go!!!”
“No! I’m... not going to abandon... you... Fluttershy! Never!!!”
“Please! Save… yourself!”
“No! I’m… never… going… to-!” Fluttershy’s hooves slipped. She screamed as she disappeared into the portal. “Fluttershy!!!” Twilight flew into the portal, but the portal both disappeared and everything went back to normal. The book closed, fell to the floor, and everything went back to normal. Twilight stared into the blankness as Angel sniffed at the book and the rest of her friends and Spike entered.
“What in Tarnation just happened!?” Applejack demanded. “Where the hay’s Fluttershy!?” Twilight only picked up the book in her magic.
“She… she’s gone.”
“Gone?” Everyone asked
“What happened!?” Rainbow Dash asked
“...It was only meant to capture Angel,” Twilight replied, holding back her tears. “I… zapped the book… and made a portal. It sucked Fluttershy in… I tried to help her… but… it closed… and… and…” Tears fell down her face. Rarity went to Twilight’s side, placing her hoof on the Alicorn’s shoulders.
“Don’t cry, Twilight.” Rarity replied “You tried your best.” She turned to the others. “Girls! We have ourselves a missing mare! We should spread out and-”
“We don’t know where she’s at! And if my theory is correct, then Fluttershy can be in one of infinite different worlds!!! Looking for her will be impossible!!! Oh, I blew it! I blew it really bad!” Spike came to her side.
“It’s okay, Twilight.” Spike calmed her. “I mean, if what you say is true, is it possible that she may have landed in a world that’s nice? Something she may like and may help her out?”
“I don’t think you should be that optimistic.” Rainbow Dash commented. Applejack slapped her on the back of the head. “Ow!!! What!? I’m only saying!”
“Ooh! What if she lands in a world populated by anthropomorphic mammals that live in somewhat peace and harmony, but deal with different forms of prejudice and have gone through a conspiracy that was enacted by the city’s ex-mayor!?” Pinkie rambled. Everyone turned to her with complete confusion. “...What? I’m only suggesting. Plus, that’d make a great movie! Fun for the family!”
“...I think you should write to Celestia about this, sugarcube.” Applejack suggested. “Ah mean, if there’s anypony that can help, it’s her.”
“Oh… right.” Twilight replied, standing up, wiping a tear from her face. “Thanks girls… I’ll get to that.” She got up and flapped away.
“...Okay girls, let’s keep Fluttershy’s house up & runnin’.”
“Ugh! Do we have to!?” Rainbow Dash complained.
“Unless she appears next to us immediately, Yes, we have to.”
Zootopia
Zootopia: An Urban Utopia that was founded and made by animals. Thousands of years ago, animal kind was divided into two major categories; the prey and the predators. Through evolution, and overtime, they overlooked their primitive ways, and now, predator and prey live in harmony, and every mammal now has multitudinous opportunities. Of course, there are still problems, and not just the limitations that varies between species, but how each species view each other, whether it’d be their species pasts or, more than likely, how they stereotype each other. But, luckily, many animals still get along with each other, especially a duo that had a rough species past with each other, but solved a case together. That was the top of the academy rabbit herself, Judy Hopps, and the Con-Artist turned Rookie Cop fox, Nick Wilde.
The duo, though a fox & a rabbit, two species with a rough history together, started off on the wrong paw together, worked together to uncover a case involving fourteen missing predators. The result was the two connecting more than Judy blackmailing Nick, but a partnership, and uncovering a conspiracy. Turned out, the missing predators were taken to a secret lab, ordered by the mayor, as they were infected and turned feral, as a way to keep the public safe and find a cure. The predators were infected by some plant simply dubbed “Nighthowler,” which was turned into a serum from the Vice Mayor, a sheep named Bellwether. Turns out, she wanted to make sure the minority, the 10% of Zootopia that were the predators, to be all in check and have the office herself, as a way to give prey an unfair advantage to be successful while the predators suffer for their ancestry. This was stopped by the duo; with their evidence, Bellwether and her subordinates were sent to jail, a cure was found for the feral predators, and Nick Wilde became both a police officer and Judy's partner.
Even though Bellwether and her subordinates have been behind bars for over three months, somehow, there are still cases of Nighthowler attacks on Zootopia’s predator population. Even when offered to be released earlier, she refuses to speak about it, and getting her to talk through other means has proven to be difficult. Reelected Mayor Lionheart has promised to the residents that the police will apprehend the suspects as soon as possible and everything will be normal. This leads us to Nick and Judy, listening to the news radio as they were on their daily patrol around the city, more specifically, Savannah Central, the heart of Zootopia, with Judy behind the wheel.
“Another case of a Nighthowler case was reported in the last half hour. A local supermarket in Outback Island erupted into chaos as Eric Savage, a local employee and Dingo, attacked his best friend, Jonathan Howl. The police were able to lock up & take Eric away before anyone could be harmed, but damages to the store are very noticeable, and Jonathan forgives his friend. This is the third Nighthowler related incident in the last week, and local law enforcement & hospital supplies are steadily losing supplies. Some researchers believe that-"
Nick reached over and turned off the radio.
“I was listening to that, Nick.” Judy spoke.
“I know,” Nick replied. “It’s my job to be pessimistic, not yours.”
“I’m not being pessimistic, I’m just listening to the news.”
“Don’t believe everything you hear, carrots. If you did, we wouldn’t be here.”
“I know and I don’t. But… do you think about what happened those months ago? I mean, I know we did the right thing and got Bellwether behind bars, but do you think it even matters?”
“...If it weren’t for that, then I’d still be a popsicle hustler and you’d be in your adorable meter maid outfit.” They both chuckled.
“That’s definitely true. And how is your friend, anyways?”
“Finnick? Oh, I haven’t talked that much with him lately. Afterall, he’s got a-” The radio turned on, but with static playing.
“...What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything! Is something wrong with the car?” They both exited their vehicle, but gasped as, in an alleyway, they saw what was a portal straight from a science fiction movie. Multiple books, papers, and quills spilled out of it, followed by a strange looking silhouette of something being tossed out. Nick blinked at the sight and turned back to the car.
“Nick!? What are you doing!?”
“...I’m simply going back to the car, drive to the ZPD, and get us some SWAT gear.”
“Okay, Nick, it doesn’t work like that. Now come on, we have to investigate this.”
“Oh no! YOU want to investigate this. I, however, want to live. And did you see that!? I’ve seen enough horror films to know what’s going to happen next.”
“Good, then you’ll be able to stop it.” Judy turned and entered the Alleyway. Nick groaned to himself, following her.
“Why do I even bother?”
The Alleyway, like most others, blocked out most of the sunlight entering, and was dirtier than the streets outside. However, as they saw, there were a lot of books, paper, and quills around, but they heard something crying. Nick quickly picked up a book and was readying himself to either whack whatever was crying.
“Hello?” Judy asked “Is someone here?” The crying went into a gasp, followed by some shuffling & some boxes falling around a corner. “It’s okay! I’m from the ZPD.”
“...ZPD?” A shy and quiet sounding voice asked.
“Zootopia Police Department. I’m officer Judy Hopps with my partner, Officer Nick Wilde. Do you have a name?”
“I’m… Fluttershy.
“... We didn’t catch that.”
“I’m… Fluttershy.”
“One more time, please?” Whimpering could only be heard. Judy turned to Nick. He could only shrug, dropping the book. “Can you… show yourself?” Various clip clopping sounds were heard, giving the two the idea that this stranger was equine. Walking out of the corner was another mammal, but it was very different from any resident of Zootopia… or any monster/alien they would inspect. She was equine by her looks, but she stood on all fours, was covered by a butter-yellow coat, with a long pink mane & tail, really large blue eyes, three butterfly tattoos on both flanks, and, the thing that made her really stick out, was that she had wings and was naked. Before the two could tell her that she’s naked, it gasped.
“A BUNNY!!!” It screamed in excitement. It’s wings fluttered rapidly and it quickly took Judy off the ground, flying and hovering at least three feet over Nick’s grasp. Judy gasped and struggled to get out of it’s grasp, but the equine in question held her tight, and snuggled the rabbit. “Aww~! This is just what I needed! A cute wittle bunny to snuggle with.”
“Uh… excuse me?” Nick spoke from below “But… I think there’s been a misconception. See that’s-”
“AHH!!! FOX!!!” It flew backwards. “Go away! I’m not gonna let you hurt this wittle bunny… in a… police… outfit?” Judy stuck her head out of the equine’s soft fur, gasping for air. “Oh dear! Who put you in this outfit!?” Judy shook herself and pouted.
“Okay, miss! Three things! One: Only a bunny can call a bunny cute. Other species calling a bunny cute is just… weird. Two: That’s my partner, and yes, he is a fox, but he’s not trying to hurt me. And finally: PUT ME DOWN!!!” The Equine had a confused look on her face.
“...Did… did you just talk?”
“Yes, I did. Everyone here talks. Now, please, put me down… and wear something!” she covered her eyes. The equine looked at her body.
“Oh, is something wrong?”
“You’re naked, Hayseed.” Nick replied below. “Unless you’re in a naturalist club, then you better wear something, or else it’s jail time for you.”
“Oh, I don’t want to go to jail. I just got here.”
“Yes, and you may want to drop my partner there, miss. It’s becoming really awkward for her.”
“Oh… right… sorry.” The flying equine lowered herself and gently dropped Judy to the floor. Judy sprinted behind Nick, shivering in fear. Nick turned and rustled her head.
“There, there. It’s okay. Care for a pawpsicle?”
“...Later.” Judy answered. “Just… focus on her.”
“Ah, the one from the portal.” He approached to her. “Okay, I’m sure you already know our names right now. If you don’t, well, name’s Officer Nicholas P. Wilde, and the one you were about to fly off with is Carrots.”
“It’s Judy!”
“You know you love it when I call you that. So, your name, please?” He extended his right paw out.
“Oh, I’m Fluttershy.” The equine replied, shaking her right hoof with his paw. “Wow! I can’t believe it! I’m talking with two talking animals! Are there more like you?”
“Foxes and rabbits? Yes. Other mammals? Also a yes.” Fluttershy gasped in joy, seemingly going from her shy self to something a more rabid version of Clawhauser at a Gazelle concert. “Whoah! Easy there, Hayseed. Don’t want to be seriously hurt, or, hurt someone else, do ya?”
“Oh! N-No, Mr. Wilde.”
“Okay, just stay there. We still have rules to follow, starting with you and clothing.”
“Oh, okay… Is there a boutique nearby? Or-?”
“There are, but you need clothes, ASAP. I think I see something that’ll work for you.” Nick ran ahead and looked through some trash. But he continued to have his conversation with Fluttershy. “So… Fluttershy. That’s a weird name. Nickname from some friends?”
“No, sir. It’s just the name that my parents gave me.”
“Interesting… and you say you’re new here. Where are you from? You’re certainly not normal around here.”
“I’m from Ponyville, sir.” Nick froze, started to chuckle, but laughed out loud, poking his head out of a dumpster.
“PONYVILLE!?!?!? BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH GOSH!!! That’s even funnier than Bunnyburrow!!! Oh! And where’s that in!? Ponyland?”
“Uh… no, sir… it’s in Equestria.” This got Nick to stop laughing and, instead, look unamused.
“Pfft… I was hoping for something obvious.” He dumped back in. “And what type of horse are you?”
“I’m not a horse, sir. I’m a pony.”
“Same difference.”
“Well, I’m a pegasus pony, sir.”
“A pegasus!? What, is Equestria some sort of land filled to the brim with magical horses?”
“Um… not really. There are ponies, yes, but there are also dragons, gryphons, and-”
“Ah-tatata! I’m not in the mood for a Dungeons and Dragons game. Save your breath for later.” He hopped out of the dumpster, wiping himself off from the trash on him, and batted off a surprisingly clean yellow sundress. “Well, this is better than half of those clothes. Hooves up, please?” Fluttershy lifted her front legs up. Nick easily put on the sundress over Fluttershy’s head & front half of her body, leaving only her flanks, tail, and hind legs exposed. “Hm… ah-ha!” He turned around, then back, placing a large brimmed hat onto her head. “And Voilà! Now you look like a citizen of Zootopia… except for the wings.” Fluttershy looked at her clothed self.
“It’s lovely. Oh, and sorry for this, but what’s Zootopia?”
“That, dear miss, is this dear city. The city where any mammal can be what they want to be.”
“Ooh! I want to explore it all!… Oh dear!”
“What’s wrong?”
“How am I going to ever get home!? My friends are going to miss me! Who’s going to take care of my animals!?!?!?”
“You have animals?” Judy finally spoke.
“...Uh… they’re not like you.”
Oh god, that made my day
7424607
Interesting concept. I like it so far. Some nitpicks though. You should put in better scene transitions. Switching between scenes can be confusing to the readers if there isn't a clear line break. I never saw Zootopia, but I feel that you did a good job of summarizing the movie. I'm interested to see where you take this story.
Love this so far. Zootopia is my favorite Disney movie
Lol best thing anyone can ask for
7424670
A case of words repeating a bit, starting about where the Zootopia-parts begin.
Awe! Cute story so far! Please continue!
7424706 the honest trailers guy wants to fuck the rabbit XD
Zootopia! Instant fave! Now to read *squeeeee*!!!
7424741 Welcome to Zootopia, where anyone can be anything
7424741 Same here!
7424740 origin.webcdn.theblackdesertonline.net/forum/service_live/monthly_02_2016/tumblr_inline_o0lmxx9Yc11s8tks2_540.jpg.7900af1249cc7a7ab1ea2b57aef72166.jpg
7424760 Okay Capt
So grateful to help!
7424766 So grateful that you can as well.
What a nice start to a Zootopia crossover. Funny I thought there'd be more than just two by now. Huh, I wish I could publish mine but I have so many other fics to finish I can't bring myself to do it.
Anyways good job looking forward to more Flutter-topia.
7424785 Hey, I wanted to make one myself, and silence all the "Where's a Zootopia fic/crossover" things I see. Though there are two others, they're... How shall we say... Mixed.
It's not until now that I realized how perfect a Zootopia crossover with Fluttershy would be.
I look forward to reading.
7424791 So, true I read the others and this one is the best so far.
7424928 oh, thank you.
And more will come. Hopefully, by next week.
Okay, don't wanna be harsh, but try not to use the "&" mark. Second, don't use more than one exclamation mark!!!!! Is that clear???!!! Other than that ...*enters fanboy mood* OH MY GOSH THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! The comedy in this chapter made my day! The characters are all spot on, the humor is great, the concept is nice, and this is a FRIGGING CROSSOVER WITH ZOOTOPIA! Please, don't make us wait too long for the next chapter!
I'm so sorry that I couldn't write the story with you, I just never had t he time for it, a lot of issues in my life were happening right then, I kept checking for u ou though, on the doc. I'm very sorry.
It was chaos righ during the writing.
Please forgive my forgetfulness. I'm glad it turned out great anyway.
Apologetically,
The New King Equalar
7425525 I'll try, though both are a force of habit.
7425533 You are forgiven... Now, kneel before your master.
7425553 the f***?
Wow.
What is the point of asking apology to be asked to bow down?
Wow.
Why am I still here?
Oh well, might as well see what's said.
The New King Equalar
Ps if joke, I have bad humour
7425572 this is a joke... And language! This is for everyone, more specifically, families that let their kids read fanfics. Don't know if there are, but there may be a few out there.
7425593 sorry, my humour is more of the kind that either occurs randomly, or just something done on accident. Just saying I have a really bad sense of humour.
It just depends on who you are.
Oh well. Just make the story better than mine.
Please do better. My story doesn't really have any point in being on the site other t Han to appease the need to have the feeling I actually did something.
Oh well, see ya around!
Bye.
I would like to see how Judy and Angle get along. Most likely Angle would act like a turd.
7426722 who's Angle.
And sorry, no Angel Bunny here... Though, that's a plus in my book.
Finally a Zootopia crossover! Great story so far can't wait to see more!
Alright! A Zootopia crossover that's good. It's off to a promising start. Keep up the good work.
Twilight's owl is actually spelled "Owlowiscious", not "Owlicious". On the other hoof, good start to what seems to be a great story!
Didn't like "&". At all. Please change it if you can.
Less "!!!" too.
Could use an additional editor with a good grasp on punctuation rules - commas to be precise.
it's to "its" is like "I'm" is to "my/mine"
so these need corrections:
his - IIRC the owl is a male
Capitalization
Nitpicking. I vastly prefer "anyway" over nonstandard "anyways"
Capitalization.
Logic jump. There are many animals with hooves beside equines...
expect
Capitalization
Looks like Fluttershy found her utopia.
Well it's about time someone wrote this crossover. I just hope the mystery in this story will live up to the movie.
7428783 I'm going to try to be engaging as the movie. The mystery won't start right away, but we'll get there
7428788 Ok, just finished the first chapter. I've got a few comments.
First, that scene with the portal has too many exclamation points. I got a good idea of what was going on, but I think a more toned-down approach would work better.
Second, the exposition dump about Zootopia is a bit disruptive. Make it more natural by, for example, following Judy Hopps through her daily routine, adding a sentence of explanation or two whenever something crosses her path. A picture of her family to show her past, a chat with the cheetah cop to explain her struggles with the ZPD, witty banter with Nick to introduce her partner, a glance at the holding cells and Nighthowler news to introduce the plot of the movie, that sort of thing. A little integration goes a long way.
Do it right, and no one will even notice. It's shorter as it is, true, but anyone who's familiar will the information will find it unnecessary, and anyone who's not might find it obtrusive.
Now, what I liked. I've been hoping for a crossover for a while, so that's a plus. Also, the character interactions towards the beginning and especially the end are quite good. Try to do more of that. Although you should identify who's speaking at any given moment, especially in a conversation with more than two people.
This looks great, I'm definitely following this!
Very interesting. I am going to keep my eye on this.
Also, an error I spotted:
"Angel proceeded to walk out of the door, but had to hold the struggling Angel in his place."
Pretty sure the first Angel is supposed to be Fluttershy.
I feel perhaps the author would benefit from taking the advice herein.
Well, that's awkward. Also, nice to see you addressing-or at least implying (I think) a problem most crossovers would have with this series.
Would the resident of Zootopia even have a concept for a world where animals are, for the most part, non sentient? I mean, this is a world where very single mammal alive is sentient and can presumably use an iPhone (modified for their appendages, of course). In worlds where sentience is the exception, not the rule, and the world is dominated by a (usually) incredibly low number of sentient species would just be outright strange to them.
Then again, if I remember right, it's only mammals that are sentient in Zootopia, so insects, reptiles, fish, amphibians and possibly birds and the like aren't sentient, so maybe it wouldn't be terribly unusual beyond a weirdness of less than a dozen, or in some cases, just one, species dominating a planet with everything else being a non sentient.
Well, on other fronts this ought to be interesting, and Fluttershy is probably going to be weirder to them than any of the above, in all honesty. She's a magical Pegasus that can genuinely fly-something I can't recall seeing once in the movie, and a creature who doesn't naturally walk on hind legs. Also, from another reality where magic is the norm, friendship is a literal and powerful force of nature, and world changing threats pop up at least once a week.
Still, an interesting beginning, and I think I'm going to have fun reading this up to the current chapters.
It's a reverse HIE!
Part of this seem so rough but over all an interesting idea.. The news report seems especially rough “Another case of a Nighthowler case was reported in the last half hour Maybe something like Another case of Nighthowler induced madness but "case of Nighthowler case" is redundant.. This is the third Nighthowler related incident in the last week, and local law enforcement & hospital supplies are steadily losing supplies. Are the hospitals running low on supplies or are they being stolen what does it have to do with Nighthowlers are we talking supplies related to Nighthowlers or supplies in general
love it
Okay... First chapter has been read... With that, I like the idea. It's a solid concept. The characters seem relatively true to their various cannon counterparts. One issue though that really stands out. You my friend, need an editor. Numerous word repetitions on top of other redundancies. Various grammar goofs, though none overtly egregious... There's JUST enough such issues that, thus far, it's less fun to read than it otherwise would be. Get yourself an editor, and this will make the sites top one hundred in no time. :)
Okay, I'm sorry to say this, but proper grammar is one of my biggest pet peeves. I couldn't make it past the fourth paragraph before I had to stop. Solid idea, sounds fun (and funny), but needs some editing and correction before I'm willing to give it another shot.
Should be Fluttershy.
Sarcastic Nick, Determined Judy and Fluttershy? Okay you caught my interest! :)
"Everyone here talks" probably should have said something like "are you loco in the coco?" or "are you okay miss?" it just feels dismissive of the question to me by just telling her facts
I am surprised that fluttershy's enthusiasm does not raise any eyebrows about sanity. “Wow! I can’t believe it! I’m talking with two talking animals! Are there more like you?
honestly I like nick's reaction to the portal and refering to horror movies. I think this is an okay start, I kind of hope you put in more emotional features and go wild with nick and Judy's reactions like in that moment