Getting back on her hooves.
Steel grey clouds were hung low in the sky, shunting away what could have been a nice, sunny afternoon.
It wasn’t surprising though. Weather predictions were hardly a game of chance in Equestria. But even so, every time she came here, it was as though the forces of nature cowed to her sombre mood.
Row after row of grass, flowers and granite. This place never changed, except the number of residents was always increasing, especially in recent years.
Silence pervaded this garden of sadness and loss, as the mare’s hooves clopped on the uneven cobblestone.
She paused once she reached a certain stone, a cerise hue bathed the wilted flowers, replacing them with fresh ones.
“Hello dear,” her voice came out, quiet even against the roaring silence of Canterlot’s graveyard. “How have you been? Still telling those terrible jokes of yours?”
She lay down before the grave in front of her. “Sorry it's been longer than usual. I've been busy with my new book you see. My editor's always making changes, and you know how lazy and uncooperative my partner in crime is.” Her thoughts briefly flickered to the tan pegasus mare...
Twilight Velvet pressed a hoof against the tombstone. The one that marked the grave of her late husband....
“I miss you Nightie,” she whispered softly. “Or more like, I've never stopped missing you. But…” She stroked the smooth stone and blinked the oncoming chilly wind from her eyes. “I think… I've finally stopped blaming her. Twilight she… she never asked for that Sun-damned power. She never wanted her mind to be warped and twisted… she, she didn't to…” Her words failed her as she wiped her moist eyes. “She never meant to take you away…”
Velvet paused, as if hearing a reply from him. “You should see her these days. She has a coltfriend you know. A rather… high strung lad, but honest of heart. He and Shining don't get along well, but colts will be colts after all.” She smiled and let of a brief giggle. “Speaking of our boy. He and Cadence are doing well. I fully expect them to be the first to give us grandfoals…”
Again her voice failed her, her chest tightening as she fought back uselessly against her tears. “I wish you could see them…” She raised her hoof again, touching the name on the headstone. “My dear Night Light… I, with them both gone from the house, I'm finally starting to notice how big the place is… how, empty it is…”
She let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes. “But what can I do? I can't force the kids to stay at home… and I… I won’t leave that house. It’s our home.” She wiped her eyes again and opened them. “The neighbour mares are teasing me, saying I should get a stallion before my hips give out. Bah! I'm younger than them dammit! And, I've never had anypony before you… I, don’t need anypony else…”
She looked at the headstone, before taking out a cloth and started to clean the polished granite. “You know what Bob the builder pony next door used to say.” her voice dropped a few octaves. “A house is only as solid as the foundations it's built on!” She swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head. “It's just… I'm trying Nightie. I really am but… It's hard.”
Her coat prickled with warmth as a ray of sunlight peeked through the canopy of cloud, causing the unicorn mare to smile. “Heh, you always know what to say to me.” She stood up and smiled at him. “I have to get going. You take care okay? Don't go pulling anything chasing those cute angels~”
Her smile soon faltered, and she turned away to head home. Just… another ordinary Tuesday in Canterlot.
The walk home was dreadfully uneventful. Of course, being the mother of one Twilight Sparkle afforded her equal amounts of fear and respect. Her daughter had quite the reputation after all.
So Twilight Velvet was quite surprised when she suddenly felt somepony bump roughly into her, before breaking out into a run. She was confused for a second… until she saw a familiar bag hanging from his mouth.
She’d been robbed?
“W-Wait!” she yelled. “Thief!”
The thief smirked, robbing that old mare was just too easy. He rounded a corner and promptly ran into a wall…
No… not a wall. It felt like a bloody wall, instead, it was the armoured breastplate of a massive unicorn stallion. The thief stumbled back and fell on his rump, before a crimson aura captured him, holding him still.
Twilight Velvet ran around the same corner, skidding to a stop before she could run into the stallions as well. She processed what she saw before her and took a breath. It would seem the thief had run into the local Guard. How unfortunate for him.
“Afternoon Ma’am,” the cream-coated unicorn bowed his head. Velvet got a good look at him and… oh dear, her heart skipped a beat or two. Urgh, was she that unfit a brief run tired her out that quickly?
The guard looked down and then lifted the thief up in his magic. “Colt. You have something that belongs to this beautiful mare.”
‘Beautiful?’
“Now, what do we say?” Flare said, holding the colt up with his magic. A routine patrol was turning out to be interesting. Especially since he got to help out this pretty mare.
“Sod off,” the teenage colt spat, before the stallion sighed and clipped his ear painfully with his magic. “Argh, buck—!”
Another clip.
“We don’t use that sort of language in front of mares. Now, what do we say?” his tone was still calm, but possessed quite a bit of force behind it.
“I said to—” he was cut off as Flare tugged his ear one more time.
“I apologise for his uncouth behaviour,” he replied. “Are you alright Miss…”
“Velvet, Twilight Velvet,” she replied, her voice somewhat quiet. He noted her face was a little red as well. Well, being robbed in broad daylight might have been a little embarrassing. Poor mare.
“Well Miss Velvet, I believe this is yours,” he said and returned her bag. “I’ll be taking this one along with me. Perhaps we can make a stallion out of him.”
“W-What!?” the colt’s eyes widened.
“Section 6, subsection A2, in the event of national emergency or wartime, the military may conscript citizens into the Guard or City Militia,” the unicorn stated. “These days… they’re very unsafe outside the city. Welcome to the Guard colt.”
“WHAT!?” he yelled as the unicorn turned around. Velvet’s breath hitched again as she watched him.
“Oh sweet Celestia, look at those flanks~” Velvet hummed to herself. “Wait, what? Why would I think that? I’m a married mare… well, sort of. Ahh! But I kinda wanna put my hooves on them and—”
“Is… something the matter Miss Velvet?” the guard asked and the mare looked down to see that one of her hooves was raised. She turned a deeper shade of red and lowered the offending appendage.
“N-No,” she replied quietly. “Thank you… um?”
“Sergeant Flare Blitz, Ma’am,” the unicorn saluted to her and she saw those stunning crimson eyes of his. By the Stars, he was gorgeous. His frame was a little larger than Shining’s. Thick legs and large hooves…
“You know what they say about a stallion with big hooves~”
“Well, please hurry home Miss Velvet,” Flare’s voice snapped her out of her increasing perverse daydream. A distant chime of the Canterlot Clock Tower told them it was right on three o’clock. “It’s scheduled to rain in the next fifteen minutes. Have a good afternoon.” And with a bow of his head, he left her be.
“I… I think a walk in the cold rain will be good,” Velvet said to herself as she watched him leave, before turning around and heading home. What… what the Tartarus was that? She was lusting after him like a horny schoolfilly.
“I need a drink,” she muttered, hoping there was still some scotch at home.
The following Tuesday was like any other. Twilight Velvet would get up, shower and make a simple breakfast of coffee and toast. She’d go over her newest novel, writing a little bit here and there and look at her editor’s notes.
Then would come the house work. But without anypony else around, all she had to do was dust a little. A job that would once take over half the day, now barely took an hour.
She needed to wash her bedsheets as well. After meeting Flare last week… well, that cold shower hadn’t helped much.
“What the buck am I doing?” she muttered as she tossed them in the washing machine. She turned around and let out a startled scream, as the face of Twilight Sparkle stared back, hovering silently behind her.
“Heeheeheee, hiya Mommy,” she giggled and lifted Velvet up in her magic. “That was hilarious by the way.”
“Twilight Star Sparkle!” Velvet groaned, using the dreaded full name. “What have I said about giving your poor mother a heart attack?”
“Hmm…” Twilight tapped her chin and shrugged. “I dunno. Aaaanyway, I have a favour to ask~”
Hoo boy, this ought to be good.
“Can I invite a friend over for dinner?”
“You have friends?” Twilight Velvet said, and Twilight Sparkle folded her forelegs.
“Wow… rude much?”
“I’m sorry,” Velvet bowed her head. “I’m just surprised is all. Of course you can bring a friend over. May I ask who it is?”
“Her name is Ember Quill, but I call her Emby,” Twilight giggled. “She’s lots of fun. And super adorable. Feel free to tease her, she has the best reactions.”
“Why do I get the feeling she’s more of a victim than a friend?” Velvet deadpanned.
“Somepony’s snippy today,” Twilight said. “Does it have to do with that stallion you keep fantasizing about?”
Twilight Velvet coughed and spluttered. “I… what, how did you? No!”
“Heehee, you’re funny Mom,” Twilight giggled. “So, I thought I might invite Shiny, Cadie and Bloody as well.”
“Twilight dear, you know what meals are like when Bloodletter and Shining are at the same table… or the same city for that matter…”
“Aw come oooonnnnn!” Twilight whined. “I wanna do this. And Emby hasn’t met him yet either, so it should be fun. Ooh, you could invite that stallion too~”
Twilight Velvet blushed only slightly and rolled her eyes. “Fine then, tomorrow evening. I’ll have to do some shopping to get enough food. As loud as those colts are, they eat a lot.”
“Yaaay!” Twilight clapped her hooves. “Oh, and Emby loves chocolate sprinkled donuts from Joe’s.”
“Okay, I’ll pick some up,” Velvet chuckled and rubbed her mane. “And what about you dear? Still causing trouble for poor Trixie?”
“Always,” Twilight beamed and nodded. “Keeps her on her hooves. Hehe, I wonder if Dot enjoyed me turning her into a stallion for a day…”
“Twilight…” Velvet started using her ‘Mom’ voice. The chaotic mare lasted all of about four seconds under that tone and glare, before cracking her tail like a whip.
“There, Tricky’s back to being her usual precocious self.” Maybe next time, she turn her into a filly… Maybe Dot has a lolita fetish...
“Good girl, now go and tell the others and I’ll see you tomorrow night okay?”
“Yup!” Twilight beamed and vanished in a flash of light, leaving the older unicorn alone. Once her washing was done and hung out in the sun to dry, she took her saddlebags and purse.
“Time to do some shopping I suppose,” she said to herself and left her large home, eager to get something other than nothing done today.
The walk to the markets was quiet as usual, Twilight Velvet alone with nothing but her thoughts. And those thoughts seemed to keep wandering to a certain guardstallion.
“GAH!” Velvet exclaimed loudly and rubbed her head. “Get it together Velvet. He’s likely half your age and probably has a pretty young marefriend to galavant around with,” rather than an old mare like her.
What if he didn’t though…
“I need some wine,” she groaned. But if she started drinking again, her kids would likely worry.
Their methods for getting her to stop were… unique. Twilight had cast a spell that made alcohol taste like anything but…
She once had scotch that tasted like fried chicken. That had been a horrible night.
“Just… think about your book,” Velvet muttered to herself. “And stop talking to yourself. You look like a crazy mare.”
She rounded the corner and bumped into some… warm? She looked up, about to yell at the offender that blocked her path, but her voice died in her throat.
“Oh? Hello Miss Velvet,” Flare Blitz smiled warmly. “Fancy running into you again. No more robbers chasing you I take it?”
“I…” Velvet swallowed the lump in her throat. “No… not this time.”
“Glad to hear it,’ Flare smiled and Velvet noticed that he wasn’t in any armour. His coat was a light cream colour, and his mane and tail was a brilliant mix of orange, yellow and red, like flames. His hooves were a deep ebony black and his Cutie Mark. How interesting. A shield with a chessboard pattern. The top and bottom white squares held a pink heart and a red flame. His chest was so broad and those muscles… oh she wanted them to hold her tight and…
“Are you alright, you’re looking a little red,” Flare said and Velvet suddenly looked away.
“I uh… well, I don’t handle warm weather well,” Twilight stammered out. Dammit Velvet, pull yourself together.
“I see,” Flare nodded and noticed her saddlebags and the fact they were in Market Street, “So, you’re out shopping today?”
Twilight took a breath and nodded. “Yes. I’m having my children over for dinner tomorrow evening and need some ingredients.”
“Oh, would you like some assistance?” Flare offered out of the blue.
“Huh?” Came Velvet’s eloquent reply. “I… but I couldn’t possibly trouble you with something like that.”
“I don’t mind one bit,” Flare said with a soft smile. “My superiors gave me a few days off, as I’ve been working a lot of overtime lately. And, I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Helping out a pretty mare seems like a good way to pass the time though~”
Velvet flushed red again and looked away. “W-Well, if you insist. I suppose I could do with some company…”
Flare nodded and fell into step next to her as they made their way into the markets. Twilight Velvet mentally berated herself and started walking again. Honestly, what was she thinking about? But… it had been a while and she…
She rapidly shook her head clear of those thoughts… and ran right into a lamppost. In a flash, Flare was at her side and helping her up.
“Are you alright Miss Velvet?” he asked with a concerned tone. “That looked like it hurt.”
“I uh… it’s… okay,” she replied as the stallion held her. Well this was just great, she’d have to wash her bedsheets again later…
“Well, that’s a relief,” the stallion nodded, but used a light pain relief spell on her. “There we go, that should help.”
“Thank you,” Velvet replied and got to her hooves. That was… really embarrassing. Way to go Velvet, full marks for execution and landing. She sighed and adjusted her bags. “So,” she asked. “Tell me a little about yourself.”
“Hmm, where to start?” Flare hummed. “Well, I wasn’t born in Canterlot. I actually come from the Frozen North, or Trotland, depends on who you ask. But that was when I was but a colt. I haven’t been back there since.”
“So far from home,” Velvet said as she bought some tomatoes and placed them in her bag. “Do you miss it?” She noted that if she listened very carefully, she could hear a slight trottish accent in his voice.
“Not really,” Flare shrugged. “As I said, I was only about four or five when we moved here, so Canterlot is my home first and foremost.” He waited until she was finished talking with the vendor before continuing. “I entered the guard academy when I was sixteen. And I’ve been with them ever since. Protecting ponies… there’s nothing quite like it.”
“I hear that a lot from my son,” Twilight nodded. “Perhaps you know him. Field Marshal Shining Armor?”
Flare paused and his eyes widened slightly. This was the marshal’s mother? Oooh, damn. He hadn’t expected that. She looked so young. And he might have checked her out a little… Crap! Shining was going to kill him…
“Ah, yes. I know him,” Flare nodded, looking a little nervous now. Should he leave? It’d be rude… and Miss, er, well that must be Mrs. Velvet. She was so pretty…
“She must be married then, well… buck.”
“He’s quite the stallion, you and your husband must be proud,” Flare tried to save face. Velvet… just looked down at the ground. What?
“I am very proud of him,” she said quietly. “And I’m sure Night Light would be as well… I’d like to think he’s watching over us.”
Watching over… Was he? Flare groaned inwardly. Great. Bucking. Job. Just remind the cute mare of her dead husband why don’t you? Bucking moron.
“I’m, sorry for you loss,” he murmured. “I should… probably go…”
“Hm?” Velvet looked up and shook her head. “Oh dear, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Don’t worry. It was many years ago. I’ve long since come to terms with it.”
“Aww, his sad face was so adorable. She just wanted to pet his mane and hug him. She also knew other ways to make him feel better~” No. Bad Velvet. Down girl!
“Well, I still apologise for my insensitivity,” Flare replied, but Velvet shook her head once more.
“Don’t worry about it. As I said, it was long ago. And you certainly weren’t expected to know. Now… shall we continue this little date of ours?” She suddenly paused as the words left her mouth. But to her relief and slight disappointment, Flare didn’t seem to notice her little faux pas.
“Of course,” Flare replied and the two continued through the markets. As Velvet bought more food and other items, Flare took over carrying the bags, more or less becoming a pack mule. He didn’t mind though, and the bags weren’t that heavy.
Soon, he’d followed her back home and inside as he set the bags on the kitchen bench.
“I’m sorry I made you carry all that,” Velvet said as she turned around. The stallion was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and musk from walking in the sun all day and…
Forget cold water, she needed an ice bath at this point.
“May I bother you for a glass of water?” Flare asked her, once again snapping her out of her heated daydreams. Velvet shuddered and moved to the fridge, pulling out a chilled bottle.
“That’s not the only thing I’d let him drink from~”
She was slowly straying away from needing an icebath, to needing to plunk her flank in the tundra somewhere.
“Here you go,” she said as straight laced as she could, offering him the bottle. He thanked her and took the bottle, drinking from it as the cold liquid quenched his thirst.
“Lucky bottle…”
“I didn’t mean for you to carry all that though,” she said. “Allow me to make it up to you.”
“Just follow me upstairs… or on the kitchen table, that’d be fine… oooh buck! No. Bad Velvet!”
“You don’t have to,” he replied. “I wasn’t helping to get something out of you.”
“No, but you can put something in~”
“I-I insist,” she replied. “I know. Why don’t you come by tomorrow night? I’m already making dinner for a large group, one more mouth won’t matter much.”
“I couldn’t possibly impose—” Flare started but Twilight held up a hoof.
“Please, I insist…” then a thought occurred, one that quelled her more effectively than any cold shower. “Oh, you must have a marefriend to get back to hm? I’m sorry to inconven—”
Now it was Flare’s turn to interrupt. “No. No, it’s not that. I… don’t have a marefriend or anything like that.” He couldn’t just show up to a family dinner like that, it wouldn’t be proper.
Velvet was… she looked at him, yet she didn’t. Was she spacing out again?
“He… doesn’t have a marefriend?”
“He’s single?”
“Oh by Celestia’s sweet sun-covered flanks! That is the best news ever!!”
“Mrs. Velvet?” Flare asked, waving a hoof in front of her. She blinked a few times and shook her head.
“Please, I insist and will not take no for an answer…” She paused and smirked. “If not, I’ll send Twilight Sparkle to fetch you.”
“I’ll be here early,” Flare said rapidly. The last time he messed with the legendary Chaos mage, she turned his fire skills to ice ones. He was stuck with the nickname ‘Snowcone’ for months.
“Excellent,” Velvet clapped her hooves. Flare sighed, resigned to his destiny. After confirming the details, the stallion took his leave.
“Now, shall we go ruin another set of bedsheets?”
Velvet paused, and then sighed before trotting upstairs…
Flare Blitz groaned as he walked down the street, that… that had been too close. Twilight Velvet was just so… stunning? Beautiful? Amazing? No, all of the above.
And now he’d been invited to dinner, with the rest of her family no less. Well, he was now praying to every deity that he wouldn’t screw this up. He walked up to the palace gates, saluting to the guards stuck on door duty as he walked in.
So, what should he do? Should he bring something?
He growled to himself as he rounded a corner and bumped into someone, more surprised that he was the one sent sprawling across the floor. What the what? He looked up and his heart leapt out of his throat. Oh sweet Sun and Moon. He’d run right into Princess Celestia.
Well hey, at least a night in the dungeons would keep him from embarrassing himself at dinner.
“P-Princess…” he stammered, bowing low to the alicorn. “Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to run into you like that.” While he didn’t mind the dungeon, public execution would suck…
“There is no need to ask for forgiveness,” Celestia spoke calmly. “Accidents do happen from time to time.”
“Still, it’d not have happened had I not been so nervo- ah, I mean, lost in thought…” Flare really hoped she’d not notice his verbal slip up. “Please don’t ask, please don’t ask. Please don’t—”
“Oh?” Celestia tilted her head to the side in a questioning way. “Would you care to tell me why that is?”
“Sun dammit!”
“W-Well…” Flare rubbed his foreleg with the other. “I um, got invited out to dinner by a mare. One, a little older than I. I guess, I’ve never been on a date, and, I don’t even know if it’s a date or not…” ”Great job Flare. Just ramble in front of a Goddess. Way to go.”
“Hmmm, love might not be my field of expertise—” Celestia mulled it over. “But I think you should take the offer for now and see how it plays out. If you remain friends or become something more, then I think that’s at least worth a shot. Unless, of course, this mare pressured you into this date.”
“Well, she did threaten to sic Twilight Sparkle on me,” Flare muttered. “Still, Mrs. Velvet is awfully pretty…”
“Ahhh, Twilight Velvet.” Celestia smiled and gave him a knowing nod. “I see. Well I think this might be an interesting outing, at the least.”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound suspicious in the slightest.”
“It’s a trap!”
“But… Miss Velvet is really pretty…”
“...We have reached consensus. Full steam ahead!”
“May uh, can I ask some advice?” Flare Blitz asked her, first checking to see if anypony was listening in. “I mean, I don’t know anything about older mares. Ah! I’m not implying you're old Your Highness. I mean, you’re beautiful it’s just… I think I’ll go and jump off the side of the mountain now…”
“I’m older than anypony alive,” Celestia pointed out. “You don’t have to tiphoove around the subject with me. I know I’m old. I may not look it, but it’s a fact.”
“Still, I meant no disrespect my Goddess,” Flare replied. “But may I please ask. What should I do here? Is there some tradition I must follow if I wish to court her?”
“Tradition?” Celestia chuckled. “You make this sound as if Velvet was a mare of simple traditions. I’ve met her a few times and I would like to think she’s a very forward mare. I’d like to think she would appreciate the simple approach. Namely, go to the dinner and be yourself. If that doesn’t work, then I don’t know what will.”
That… was actually pretty good advice. Simple and easy to follow.
“Thank you very much your Highness,” Flare smiled and bowed his head once more. “That was very helpful. I have to get ready, so have a good evening.” And once they bid each other farewell, he took his leave.
As Celestia turned to continue her trek, a voice called out.
“Really Auntie… ‘be yourself?’ Could that have been any more cliche?” Cadence said as she dropped the invisibility spell. “Thank the stars I’m the Goddess of Love and not you.”
Celestia lightly rolled her eyes, “Sometimes the simplest of solutions can solve the hardest of problems. I’ve taught you that much, at least.”
“Yes, if you want to be boring,” Cadence smiled and rubbed her hooves together. “Oooh I can’t wait to get started on these two. I was hoping Velvet would find somepony… and boy has she chosen well. I mean, look at those flanks~ You could bounce a bit off of them.”
“I will not make a comment about my subjects flanks,” Celestia responded. Not denying it though.
“Mhmm,” Cadence said flatly, not buying it for an instant. “Well hey, if it doesn’t work out…” she skipped out of reach and giggled. “Maybe I’ll hook him up with a sexy white alicorn~” she said with a wink and then flew away. She had her own white unicorn to find.
Celestia sighed as she resumed her trek to the throne room, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with that mare.”
Twilight Velvet sat in front of a familiar gravestone, she hadn’t come here two days running for a while now. But, she thought this to be a rather important topic to discuss.
“So… I have to ask you something,” she said quietly. “Remember last time? When I said the neighbours were teasing me about finding a stallion? Well…” She blushed and looked at her hooves. “I think, I might have. But…”
All was silent for a moment as she collected her thoughts. “But, I can’t can I? It’s not right. I still love you Nightie. I couldn’t… I mean. He’s probably half my bucking age! He looks like he’s the same age as Shining Armor. It’d be… so weird…”
The graveyard was emanating it’s usual silence.
“But, he’s very kind. Somewhat awkward, but seems patient. He seems like the honorable sort… but what would ponies say? An old mare like me dating somepony like that? Oh gosh, is this that midlife crisis thing? Ahh, do I have to get a tattoo and travel the world now?” The unicorn mare flailed around for a moment before calming herself down. “Okay Vel, get a grip already. Just… take a breath…”
The wind picked up for but a moment, caressing her ears and mane, Velvet sighing softly.
“You always know what to say…”
Twilight Velvet hummed a small tune as she literally danced around her kitchen. The stove had several pots boiling and the oven hummed as she roasted some potatoes and pumpkin. She twirled in the middle of the kitchen as she manipulated dishes in her magical aura, washing and drying the ones she’d used while cutlery floated over to the table
It would be close to an hour before anypony turned up…
A flash of light and Velvet paused mid dance to see Twilight floating there with a bemused smirk on her face,
“Chaos Time?” Velvet asked dryly.
“Chaos Time,” Twilight nodded and sighed. “I’d have brought Emby with me, but she insisted on ‘getting herself ready without my magic’ I mean, I’d have sped the whole process up!”
“And the likelihood of her turning up wearing a banana suit?” Velvet pointed out.
“Only twenty six times cupcakes,” Twilight shrugged. “Sooo, what’s for- ow!” Twilight jerked a hoof back when Velvet smacked it with her spatula.
“Apapap, no. You’ll get fed with everypony else,” Velvet replied and sighed when Twilight started making puppydog eyes… by pulling out an actual puppy. “There’s cookies in the top cupboard. You can have two!”
“Yaaay!” Twilight giggled and went in search of sugary goodness.
“Crisis averted,” Velvet hummed and continued her cooking. She’d still need to go and put some makeup and a dress on and…
“Did… am I turning this into a date?” she blinked. “Oh Stars, what if I scare him off for being so forward? I already blackmailed him into coming here. He might not even show up!”
A knock on the door broke her out of her small panic attack. She made her way over and opened it with her magic.
The bright, beaming visage of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza stared back.
“O-Oh… hello dear,” Velvet started before Cadence gasped and looked over her form.
“Oh, oh no. This will not do. Not at all,” she said as she stepped inside, Shining Armor following her and smiling at his Mom. “What are you doing Mrs. Velvet? You’re not ready for your date yet?”
“Wait, DATE!?’ Shining yelped out, but a quick glare from Cadence shut him up.
“Yes, and it’s about time too. I mean, I have been trying to set this mare up for years! She’s almost as stubborn as Auntie Tia.” Cadence scoffed and picked Velvet up in her magic. “Right, Twilight honey, are you home?”
Twilight floated in and the two smiled. Twilight Velvet and Shining Armor groaned, they already knew what was coming.
“Sunshine, sunshine, all the difference it’ll make.
When you stab your foes with rusty, pointy stake!”
“...that will never get less morbid,” Velvet deadpanned.
“Agreed,” Shining replied. He’d nearly lost his lunch the first time he’d heard Twilight and Cadence do that little morbid dance. The mental images were… unpleasant. But then, Cadence was… rather intense in battle.
Cadence rubbed Twilight on the head, before carrying Velvet off. “Twi, be a dear and help Shiny look after dinner. I have a milf to make over~”
Twilight nodded and oce cadence and her mom had left the room, she turned to her brother. “Shiny?” she asked.
“Hm, yeah Twiley?”
“What’s a milf?”
“Honestly,” Velvet huffed as Cadence styled her mane. “How did you get it into your head that this is a date?”
“I know these things,” the alicorn hummed as she added a few hairpins. “Trust me, it’s something of a specialty.”
“Well, it’s not a date,” Velvet replied, somewhat unconvincingly. “He assisted me yesterday, and I invited him over to thank him.”
“If you wanted to thank him,” Cadence said with a small frown. “You either say a simple thank you, or give him a blowjob.”
“Cadence!?” Velvet blushed brightly. “That… that’s…”
“Ohh, I wonder if he’s as gifted as Shiny is,” Cadence mused, licking her lips.
“I do not need to know that… regardless if I already knew that or not!”
“Heehee, I love this family,” Cadence hummed as she looked at her work on the mare’s mane. “Right, so that’s done. Now we need a killer dress. One that says, ‘Mount me over the table’ without being too whorish…” She opened the mare’s wardrobe and flicked through it. “Oh my… is this all you have?”
“You know I don’t go out much,” Velvet pouted.
“We only have a half hour…” Cadence tapped her chin. “What do do…” Time to call… Them!
”GIRLS!” cadence hollered as three unicorn maids teleported in. “Dress emergency. Go!”
They nodded and vanished, leaving Velvet to be very confused as to what the crazy alicorn was up to. Was mild insanity a requirement to be an alicorn? Oh sweet Stars! Imagine if Twilight became an alicorn? The world would come to an end.
A few moments later, the maids returned, each holding a small bundle of outfits. Cadence poured through them. “Hmm, no… too frilly… too slutty… oh, this is cute, I’ll wear it for Shiny later~ Aha!” She held out a simple red cocktail dress, one with a high-cut waist that exposed the wearers Cutie mark and thigh, but draped low on the other side. “Perfect~ You’ll stun him stiff with this one. And then put that stiffness to good, long, vigorous use~”
“That does sound better than a cucumber…”
“I hate you both,” Velvet muttered to both the alicorn and her traitorous inner voice.
“Now, let’s get you ready~” Cadence hummed.
“Okay, you can do this,”
“It’s easy… just raise your hoof. And knock.”
“Just… raaaaaise your hoof.”
Flare stood at the front door, his right hoof a few inches off of the ground as he stood there. He had a small bouquet of white lilies in his magical grip and was sweating bullets. He raised his hoof a little higher and—
“Excuse me?”
The quiet voice most certainly did not catch the trained guard off guard. And he most certainly did not squeal like a little filly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the unicorn mare said as she backed away from the startled stallion. “I didn’t mean to scare you…”
Flare coughed and composed himself. “I wasn’t scared. You uh… surprised me is all.” he nodded and looked at the door.
“So, did you get invited to dinner as well?” the unicorn mare ask Flare.
“I… yes,” Flare nodded. “And you, Miss?”
“Ember Quill,” the mare nodded. “I’m a friend of Twilight’s.”
“She has friends?” Flare blinked, honestly surprised.
“Yes, believe it or not,” Ember giggled. “She’s alright once you get to know her. I don’t know why everypony thinks she so bad. She’s a little kooky sometimes, but she means well.”
“I see, well, I’ll take your word for it Miss Quill,” Flare nodded and before he could do anything else, Ember knocked on the door.
It opened a moment later and a pair of lavender hooves snaked out, dragging the mare inside. Flare blinked and followed her, to see the Scourge of Canterlot. Chaos Incarnate. Twi the Impaler… hugging the cute mare like an oversized plush toy.
“Well, that’s not something you see everyday,” he replied and when Shining Armor poked his head around to see what was up, Flare snapped to attention and saluted the superior officer.
Shining returned the salute as he tried to think of who this was. “Hmm, name soldier?”
“Sergeant Flare Blitz, City Guard division,” Flare replied.
“Ahh, well nice to meet you,” Shining nodded. “At ease, we’re not on duty today anyway.”
Flare nodded, and then somepony clearing their throat caught his attention. He looked up the nearby flight of stairs and his mouth opened slightly.
Twilight Velvet stood there, with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza behind her. But Velvet… she was just… “Wow…”
Her mane was done up into Prench curls, hiding a little of her face. She wore a simple silver-chain necklace and her dress…
Oh sweet Sun and Moon her dress. It hugged her body perfectly, showing off all her supple curves and the waist had a high slit, exposing her right thigh and Cutie Mark.
Velvet blushed slightly, wearing something like this to a family dinner was… so embarrassing.
“But look at his face. His brain just melted out of his ears. Damn Velvet, you’re still hotter than the sun~”
“H-Hello, Mister Blitz,” she said to him. She looked at Ember and smiled. “And, you must be Twiley’s friend.”
“Yup, this is Emby,” Twilight nodded and held her up. “Isn’t she just the cutest~?”
“Twwiii~liiight!” Ember blushed and pouted. Velvet just smiled as she descended the stairs, Flare’s eyes tracking her every movement.
“Look at him. He either wants to run for the hills, or tear this dress off and—”
Velvet cleared her throat again and looked at her guests. “So I guess we’re just waiting for—”
The door was smashed open when the hulking form a large red earth pony came strolling in. He easily towered over the lot of them, coming up to around Celestia’s height, if a might bit bigger. “THE DOOR WAS WEAK! It’s spine caved in too soon.”
That was when he received a magically reinforced buck to the chest, sending him sprawling out into the street. Just what Flare needed, an out-of-control Blood Knight. Perfect…
“Flare! Wait!” Velvet called out. “He’s not…”
“Stay back, they can be quite dangerous,” Flare said as he charged his magic into his hooves.
The large stallion got up from the ground and laughed. It was a loud barking laugh, filled with pure malice. “That kick was impressive. I’ve been meaning to find something to train on today… You’ll do.” He turned and charged right at Flare with surprising speed.
The unicorn dug his hooves in, preparing to meet his tackle, only to have both stallions float in the air.
“Bloody!” Twilight scolded him like a little colt. “No fighting before dinner. Your food will get cold.”
Bloodletter’s head drooped as did his ears, “Alright, I won’t fight him… until after dinner.” Then his grin returned. “Then I’ll break his bones!”
“There’s a good boy,” Twilight giggled and rubbed his head. “Ooh… maybe I’ll take you up to my room later and we’ll work off all that stress together hmm~”
Bloodletter grinned, “Oh that sounds wonderful!” He nuzzled her, grinning to himself at the inevitable rage coming his way. “I promise not to smash the bed into a million pieces this time.”
“Aww, but I liked it when you did that~” Twilight purred as Shining’s growl intensified. The unicorn mare gasped then then pulled up Ember, the mare trying to make herself seem as small as possible. “Oh! You haven’t met Emby yet! Emby, this is Bloody, my widdle snugglebug! Snugglebug, this is Emby! Isn’t she the cutest~?”
“Eeep,” Ember’s eyes widened as she tried to curl up into a ball.
“She is indeed cute,” The large stallion patted Ember’s head. “...I am not a Snugglebug though.” He deadpanned. “I am a warrior!” He thumped his chest, which created a bit of a shockwave given his strength.
“Oh yes yes, my big strong… virile warrior~” Twilight purred as Shining stepped up to the plate.
“Well Bloodletter, you’re not dead yet I see… too bad.”
“Of course not,” Bloodletter snorted. “Those rats couldn’t land a proper hit, let alone a challenge. Thankfully I was able to gather a few heads for my little skewer.” He nuzzled Twilight. “I’d have brought them, but your mother doesn’t like my gifts.”
“No, Mother doesn’t like the fact that you get blood all over the carpet,” Velvet chided him. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean out?”
“Um…” Flare raised a hoof, still in Twilight’s magical grip. “Sorry to interrupt, but may I get put down please?”
“I know somepony I’d like to put down,” Shining said, still glaring at Bloodletter as Twilight set the other stallion down and hugged Ember again.
“Ladies first,” Bloodletter grinned down at Shining Armor
“Well go on then,” Shining gestured with a hoof.
Bloodletter rolled his shoulder, “Now what shall I put on your tombstone, I wonder? Oh I’ll think on that later.” He laughed, preparing to charge the small distance between them.
“Getting ahead of yourself aren’t we?” Shining said, charging his horn. “There won’t be enough of you left for a grave!”
“ENOUGH!” Velvet roared, using the dreaded ‘Mom Voice’. “We are here to have a civilised dinner! No. Fighting! UNDERSTOOD?”
Bloodletter backed off and snorted, “Understood, Ma’am.”
“Yes Mom,” Shining replied, also backing off.
Flare just stared in amazement. Mrs. Velvet had stopped a Blood Knight with a few words. That was incredible. She was incredible. Forget the Elements of Harmony, just throw her at a problem.
“Good,” Velvet nodded. “Now come inside everypony, we have a dinner to get to.”
Twilight Sparkle, Ultimate Chaos Mage.
Bloodletter, a lunatic Blood Knight.
Shining Armour, Field Marshal.
Cadenza, Alicorn Princess and sexiest mare alive.
Ember Quill… surprisingly normal unicorn mare. As far as Flare knew
Twilight Velvet. Most powerful pony in the world as she could talk down all of the former.
“So, why is this dinner so… normal?”
“I have no idea,” Flare said to himself as he watched everypony eat, laugh and and exchange verbal jabs. (Mostly Shining and Bloodletter)
And Twilight Velvet. When she’d appeared in that dress, he’d very near had a heart attack. Forget the alicorn behind her, she’d been the most beautiful mare in the room, hooves down. Even now, he had a hard time tearing his eyes off of her.
Twilight Sparkle looked between the two, before shrugging and firing up her horn. She had a new spell to try and wanted to see if she could embarrass her coltfriend a little.
Time to test her telepathy~
Cadence saw the mare’s horn light up. She knew what was coming, she’d taught her that spell. Now… to put her own plan into action. All she’d need is a little redirection~
“Oh honey~” she cooed softly. “Wanna go upstairs now~ I have all sorts of way to get even you to beg me for the pleasure I can dish out~”
Bloodletter tore into his food, not responding in the slightest.
Well, she would just have to try harder. Mmm, speaking of harder~
“Oh don’t be like that~ You know you want it. Especially when I…” She trailed off into a variety of different ways she knew could make him squirm.
Still nothing. What the hay!?
She looked around the table and then her eyes slowly widened. As the only pony looking at her was… Twilight Velvet.
“Oh buck me…”
“I believe you made that perfectly clear,” Velvet replied back. Apparently the aim of Twilight’s telepathy was a little off. “Still. While those aren’t ‘bad’ ideas persay. Let Mommy teach you a few things~”
“No…” Twilight whispered as her eyes widened.
“Now you see, that first one you mentioned? If you just used your tongue like…”
Everypony’s eyes widened when Twilight put her hooves to her ears and started screaming.
“What’s wrong Twiley!?” Shining asked with a worried tone. Was she going to Surge here of all places?
“Make it stop, make it stoooooop!” she moaned.
“What’s going on?” Bloodletter growled before slamming his hoof down on the table and breaking it in half. “WE’RE UNDER ATTACK! SHOW YOURSELVES COWARDS OR I”LL BRING THIS WHOLE PLACE DOWN ON YOUR HEADS!”
Twilight then dragged Shining and Bloodletter into the mental torment. “Make her stop!”
“Wha?” Shining blinked. ”What’s going—”
“Oh good,” Velvet mused. “I have advice for you and Cadence by the way. Now. Have you ever tried using your…”
And things just. Got. Worse… Bloodletter was paralyzed by what he was seeing, unsure of what to think. I mean, it’s not everyday your girlfriend’s mother shows you… this…. Though that didn’t mean he hated it though.
And then Twilight and Shining ran screaming from the room, Ember blinking in surprise and bewilderment, whilst Cadence just smirked ever so slightly.
“Um, what just happened?’ Ember asked. “That was weird, even for Twilight.”
“I haven’t the faintest idea,” Velvet shrugged. “Perhaps you should go find Shiny dear?”
Cadence nodded and got up.
“We… should find Twilight, before things get chaotic,” Ember said.
Bloodletter nodded, “Agreed. My little skewer needs a strong warrior to get her through this.” He gestured to the general direction she ran at. “FORWARD AND MAY OUR ENEMIES TASTE THEIR OWN BLOOD ON OUR HOOVES!” He charged out… smashing a hole through the wall as he did so. Ember eeped at the sudden violence, but followed him and prayed she’d survive.
“Thank the Stars I have money… and Sparkle Insurance,” Velvet sighed, but her plan had worked out. Now she and Flare had the room to themselves. “Sorry about that Flare,” she giggled. “But that’s pretty usual around here.”
“I… see…” Flare replied, looking at the hole in the wall. “Well, it’s fine. It’s certainly the most unique dinner I’ve been to.”
“Oh dear, was he upset? My family isn’t exactly what one would call normal.”
“Still,” Flare smiled. “I always have dinner alone. And as strange as it is, your family has a lot of love for each other. I’m a little jealous actually.”
“Aww, let Mommy Velvet hug all that away… and then we’ll get to dessert~”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Velvet smiled. “And, sorry if I pressured you into coming tonight…”
“I’ll admit that I was a bit flustered,” Flare said. “And, well mostly scared that twilight would actually show up and drag me here.” And those concerns Velvet had came sneaking back. “I mean, why would such a pretty mare want somepony like me over?”
Waitwhat?
“What… do you mean dear?” Velvet asked slowly. Had she heard that right?
“Well I mean, you’re beautiful. You could have any stallion in the city over for a date… and you pick me?”
“He… he thinks this is a… and he still came over? Wait, he brought flowers… and that’s some ‘very’ nice cologne he’s wearing. Ohhh horseapples! I totally made this a date, didn’t I?”
“But, why would you say that?” Velvet asked him, pushing her thoughts to one side. “Why wouldn’t I want a handsome stallion like you over for a date?”
“DID I JUST SAY THAT!?!?”
Flare’s blush intensified. She… just called him handsome. And, did she say this was a date? They were on a date!? And… she, she…
“WHAT DO I DOOOO!?!?!?”
The two ponies stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity… or about three minutes.
“So—” they said at the same time and chuckled at that cliche move.
“You first dear,” Velvet said.
“O-okay,” Flare nodded and tapped his forehooves together. “Mrs. Velvet?”
“Yes?” she replied with a coy smile. She loved it when he called her that.
“Would you… like to, perhaps accompany me to dinner tomorrow night?” he asked quietly.
“Hmm, you mean, like a date?” she asked him. He paused, blushed and then nodded slowly. Velvet squeed internally and smiled. “Yes, I believe I’d like that very much.”
“SCORE!!!” both Inner voices cheered and then paused.
“Oh, hello handsome, fancy meeting a Voice like you here~”
“Hey yourself, pretty mare~”
“Hmm… wanna get out of here and have some fun?”
“Ooh yes~”
Outside the room, Cadence smiled to herself. She was so happy for the two of them and prayed that they could make it work. Now they just needed to find somepony for Celestia...
Twilight Velvet stood before the familiar granite gravestone, smiling fondly at it.
“Hello Nightie,” she smiled. “Sorry it’s been a while. Life’s been pretty hectic these last few weeks. Still, it’s good to see you again.” She brought some flowers over, replacing the dead ones and filling the grave with a little colour once more. “So, where to start… it’s been one thing after another. Well, Twilight’s doing well. She confuses me, and, I’ve seen the way her little friend Ember looks at her. I hope… her heart doesn’t get broken too badly. Oh, and Shining and Cadence are doing well. I think he plans to propose soon. So I bet those grandfoals will be on the way soon enough~”
She paused as a pony walked up next to her, and she leaned against him. “But, that’s not all. I… want to introduce you to somepony. Somepony very special. He’s… well he makes me happy. After a long time, I think… I think I’m finally moving forward again.” She smiled and wiped a tear from her eye. “Night Light, this is Flare Blitz. My… coltfriend.”
“Hello sir,” he nodded and smiled fondly. “I’ve heard a lot about you, it’s a pleasure to meet somepony else that had their heart stolen by this wonderful mare.”
Velvet stepped back so they could talk some stalliontalk… as the clouds parted as she saw a ray of sunshine light the spot that Flare and the grave stood.
“You… always know just what to say,” Velvet smiled.
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7516780 - Because she could.
Hey there. Thanks very much for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. As usual, very good job on the exchanges, emotional content, humor and wrap-up in all the right places. I'm glad Velvet's first date since her husband's death went so well. And, again, Chaos-trained Twi definitely provided some of the funniest stuff (like I said before, comes off as a cross between Harley Quinn and Deadpool in the best way possible).
In one universe, a Flare Blitz is dating Twilight Sparkle.
In this world, a Flare Blitz is dating the mother of Twilight Sparkle.
......a meeting between these four would be beyond awkward.
7518846 - It would be amazing!
Holy shit this is one of the funniest stories I've read on this site. Please keep this up!
Does Evo look over these shorts before you publish them?
7527465 - Yes he does. You honestly think I'd do this without his permission? All these stories are canon to his 'verse.
7528640
Of course not, but I'd imagine you have some creative freedom.
also because I've read some of his comments on other Shimmerverse stories, and in some cases it looks like he is reacting to reading them for the first time.
This was insanely funny. Now Velvet has a stallion of her own.
So Cadence is a warrior in this verse? There goes my story idea.
I wonder how she would react if she saw the alicorn Twilight of the canon-verse?
7528647 - I tend to hide a _few_ things to surprise him.
7519918 Ditto
These stories are actually entertaining.
But you know whats werid?
This fanfic has less than 200 veiws where its author has over 800 followers and a 15:2 like/dislike ratio
And yet a story that exists in the same universe as this has nearly 300 views its author has a little over 120 followers and it has 19 likes and no dislikes, it also came out after this one was published and only has one chapter so far
Wonder why that is?
7551873 - shrugs
7551873 Shimmerverse stories don't get a ton of attention and the attention it does get is sporatic.