Chapter 1: Diamond Girl
The class bell rings as everyone in the room takes their seats, including you, with a fresh coffee in your hand acting as a hand warmer and something to wake you up. You’ve been peppering it for the past two periods now, and it doesn’t seem to be making you any more awake than you already were. Ironic that you’d still be sleepy in the same class that caused you to be so damn tired to begin with, considering how you pulled an all nighter just to get this assignment done and turned in on time.
For a third period class, you were fine with it being English, but the part that really bugged you was the fact that your teacher had recently been giving you a lot of assignments and notes to do for the book you were reading in class. Most specifically, you were asked to write notes. Lots of them. So many you were surprised that no one in the class, let alone you, were going insane yet. As you sit down in your seat, placing your coffee down and trying as hard as possible to ignore the inflammation in your head as a sign of a now growing headache, you look over to the doorway and see everyone come inside, before noticing the purple haired girl make her way calmly into the classroom and gently making her way towards her seat next to you, with two textbooks in her hands and her purse hanging down from her left shoulder.
Instantly, your tired feeling and headache, for the most part, disappears as you try to make yourself look slightly presentable and brush your hair into order with your hands into the same style it normally is. Almost exactly on time, the bell rings just as the purple haired girl takes her seat in the desk next to you, placing her purse down on the floor next to her and folding her hands together and setting them on her desktop after getting last night’s homework out, which consisted of three front to back pages of notes on the book you were reading in class. Taking after her, you reach deep into your own Jansport backpack and grab out your notes. Lacking the same smile, you decide to also follow by her example and place your own hands onto the desk in front of you while watching as your teacher and Vice Principal enters the room, Ms. Luna.
As she enters the class while the bell is ringing, she quickly takes a sip of her coffee before setting her cup down on her desk and taking off her glasses, a tired expression upon her face as she also grabs her check board and papers for today’s lesson. “Okay class, settle down now…” She begins, making you realize that the class is a little more noisier than normal, “Please take out your notes on the book now. I'll be checking them off today.” She concludes as you see some others take out their notes from their backpacks and others cower in fear as they realize they only have a few of the pages assigned done or none of them at all. Checking them off one by one, she briefly looks through the pages of notes and sets them down before setting them back down on the person’s desk and writing a number down into her chart.
Eventually, after some kids in the back of the class state that they don’t have the notes or did not complete them, she finally comes to you and the purpled haired girl, smiling down to the both of you as she shifts her attention away from her clipboard. “Good morning Rarity…” She says in a soft voice, as the purple haired girl smiles and repeats her phrase to her. “And Good Morning, Windy Ridge…” She says to you, to which you also repeat a, “Good morning Miss Luna”, to her.
“I'm hoping that out of all my students here, you two would be the ones to bring your assignments with you on time?” She says with a sly smile. “I actually do. It's right here.” You answer your teacher, handing her the three pages of notes that you did the night before. “Very good…” Miss Luna says after looking through the papers and marking your grade down on her grading paper, looking to Rarity for her paper to grade. With no stress whatsoever, Rarity happily gives her own three stapled papers to the teacher, which she also looks through, grades, and gives back to Rarity with a “Nice job.” Which makes Rarity’s smile grow. It's nice to see her smile, you'd probably pay money to get to see her smile a little more.
Eventually, your teacher finishes up grading the rest of the student’s papers and goes to the front of the classroom, looking at a few individuals with a stern expression. You hated whenever she did that. It meant something bad was coming.
“Well, ladies and gentlemen…” She began, “I hope you realize that, even though this assignment was only about 35 points, it was going to be used for something very important, and you missed the opportunity to get a head start on it.”
Oh god, you think to yourself. Of course there was more to this assignment than just ‘take notes and turn them in’. She’s planning a-
“Today is the first day I am giving you the extra time to work on these notes. After all, they will be important if you wish to get a passing grade on your project.” Son of a bitch…! You think to yourself, trying your best to stop yourself from flailing arms around like an idiot in a fit of rage. If there was one thing you were definitely hoping not to get yet, was a project. Nobody was ever ready for a project in their entire life, and you sure as hell weren’t any different either. The only, ONLY reason you’d even think about trying to shoot for an A is to have some chance with Rarity. A way to impress her without being all about fashion like she was. If you couldn’t be like her, for the most part, than being intelligent was the next best thing.
A couple students let out a sigh of disappointment as they heard what they were in for, making Miss Luna’s expression become even sharper. Great… you think to yourself. Now she’s ticked off…
“Ehem… The benefit of this project is that you will be working with one other person in the class to do this project.” She says before going on and grabbing a different clipboard that was red in color and glasses, placing on her glasses and reading from it. “I have selected the ones you will be working with, however. And I believe that the easiest way to do said project is if you work with the person to the right of your desk.” She said, placing her glasses down and picking up a large stack of papers.
Well, at least we’re not working with that idiot to the left of us again, your mind says as you shiver slightly remembering what happened the last time you both worked together. The kid next to you was a pretty beefy kid named Stone Cutter, a regular jock who did practically nothing for the assignment. All he wound up doing was sitting around, eating anything your Mom and Dad got you for the pantries, and complaining about how you never had anything really good, even after he’d clean out an entire shelf. He was definitely one dumb, freeloading, son of a bitch. Miracle his own parents didn’t kick him out yet.
Turning your head to the right of you, you’re heart hits rock bottom and you’re expression changes swiftly from one of confidence to nothing. You realize you're going to be working with Rarity. Apparently, she notices as well, giving you a small smile with her eyes closed.
Your mind goes a million miles a minute as it thinks of all these different questions. What are we gonna do? Is she gonna meet up with us at our home? Oh my God, She’ll be coming over to our home! OUR HOME! What does that mean!? Well, obviously it means get some stuff, but what else?! Holy Crap, We are Fu-!
“Excuse me…? Bridge?” You finally hear after some time, shaking your head as you come back from running three hundred marathons in your head. “Uh… Yeah…?” Is your only response as your eyes focus in on Rarity, first appearing as a white skinned and purple haired blob before finally coming back into focus as she appears as her normal self. She smiles at you once again, before putting on a very seductive look. Stay down, thou wretched beast!
“It appears as though you and I are going to be working together on this project…” She says, placing her fingers under her hands and placing her gaze on you. “Uh… Yeah…” you say again, mentally slapping your brain to think of more words, which come to you in the form of, “So, uh… did you get the rubric?”
Another smile. “Yes, actually. It’s right here.” She says after some time, taking out a piece of paper with some type of writing on it. “Okay…” you say, a now very violent blush growing on your face as you prepare to ask your next question. “How do you wanna… you know… do this?” You ask, trying your hardest not to look like the biggest coward this side of Canterlot High, to which she just tilts her head. “I’m sorry… I don’t quite understand…” She begins, “Did you mean where we would meet after school today? For the project?”
“Yeah!” You finally manage to say, a little too loudly. “I mean… Yes… That’s exactly what I meant…”
“Well…” Rarity finally said, scooting a little closer to you, to the point where her foot was a mere few inches away from your own. “My parents are out of town for two weeks… If you’d like, we can meet there.” Rarity whispered, to which your heart came up from rock bottom and jumped straight into your throat. “Uh… Yeah. That works out for me… What time?”
“At about 4:30, if that’s fine with you. Here…” she said, taking out a marker and your notes, quickly scribbling down something on that before handing it back to you. “That is my address and my phone number should you require it-” She begins, before finding herself cut off by the bell. “Oh… sorry, but i really must dash if i am to make it to my next class. I’ll see you later tonight…” She concluded, quickly grabbing up her things and places her hand on your own, dragging it across your’s, and finally going to her next class.
…
And there you sit at your desk. Numb as you could be, with the only true feeling you have right now being on your hand where Rarity dragged her own along.
And then. Finally. A smile as you look down at the note packet. Clear as the sun in the sky, her phone number and address. You feel big, like you can jump over skyscrapers and destroy tanks.
You feel like you just caught yourself that diamond girl of your dreams.
…
And, what are you going to do now?
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Congratulations on one of the most un-original names for a fic! Yours is the 24th fic to use that name (or very similar) on this very site!
7348280
XD. Never thought about that. Oh well, just give me a few minutes to come up with something better.
Nice start!
One thing though, is the protag's name Ridge or Bridge? Luna calls him one thing and Rarity the other; I wasn't sure if it was a mistake or if it was supposed to be a joke that Rarity doesn't even know his name,
7348348
Joke now, I suppose. XD
In reality, I'll probably wind up changing it to Ridge
Wait a minute..."right" and "left" are purely relative terms. If everyone is paired with the person to his "right"...and there's a dumb beefy jock to his "left"...then he's to the "right" of the dumb beefy jock and should be his partner?
Sorry. It's just a nitpick.
7348452
There are four rows. You are located on the third row.
Looking at it now, maybe I should change it, but only for the sake of avoiding another "nitpick" like this...
7349030
There's a lot you still don't know about me yet, E. A LOT!!!
Including my real name...
I will explain why this fails. To put it simply, who sits to the right of the person on your left? You. Essentially, if the partners are those to your right, either the whole row works together, or each person helps the one to their right without getting help from them, the left-most not receiving help, and the right-most not giving any.
Two different people are not allowed to speak in the same paragraph; it should be two paragraphs, one for each character's lines of dialogue.
Capitalize the i's, and it's yours, not your's, as "your" is already possessive, so the apostrophe is wholly unnecessary and incorrect.
7349688
...
I'll take this at face value as help. So, thanks!
7349706 Every criticism I give to authors is usually designed to be help, even if I am sometimes harsh with my wording/phrasing.
Also, my mind makes dirty jokes out of everything, including the words "more to come," because reasons.
7349706
Clear?
Insert Lenny Face here.
Seems neat so far, looking forward to more
7348293 Has the name already been changed? If not, I think it's a nice title. I like the word diamond, but I do feel that our friend 7348280 is right in saying that the "in your eye" part makes it a little cliché.
However, I personally have never seen another fic called "Diamond in your eye," certainly not 24 of them.
If it has already been changed, you may choose to ignore this comment or not!
7351379
It was changed from "Diamond in the rough"
7351383 I see. Well happy writing! Ignore me and my overly emotional ways!
7351386
I take all criticism as just a way of fixing up a story of mine. I appreciate it!
Slight continuity error, if you will. When Luna says to the right of your desk, she never indicates the row(s) this applies to. So as it is right now, that idiot of the left is working with "us" , we are working with rarity, and rarity is working with the wall (nice chapter wall, he was a reliable partner for a project on ancient china). All you need is luna saying from row 1 and 3 or something of the like. Great story, I will keep my eye on further updates!
7357995
Yup, I kinda figured that maybe I should do that, change it to that specific edit. But, regardless, thanks for the advice.
I was just wondering... When will the next chapter come out? I really love this first chapter and i'd gladly appriciate more.
7571205
I've been working on the second chapter for a good long while, but I had to scrap it because I thought it'd wind up killing this story. So now, im working on a new and improved second chapter.
>>Shadow rift
Thank you so much, i can't wait :)