Can I Take a Mulligan on this Dimension?
My wings twitched irritably as the newcomer entered the library. I could feel his arrogance radiating off of him like the world’s most obnoxious spotlight. I didn’t even have to look at the fucker to know, so I didn’t. Nose, meet book. You’ll be spending a lot of time together. Ooh, a section on theories involving converting solar energy into electricity. Equestria looked to be a long ways away from developing solar panels if it only appeared in sparse amounts in obscure books.
Unfortunately since I was the only other pony in the room, I was the first thing that caught the attention of Lyle McDouchebag. I could almost feel his gaze try to burn through the book. “You’re new here, aren’t you?” He asked, almost hesitantly. “Yeah, I know everypony in Ponyville, and you are definitely new here.”
I flipped the page. There was nothing on the particular brand of magic I was using yet, but I kept reading. Maybe if I just ignored him, he’d go away.
“Shy one, huh?” Guess not. “I find that cute in a mare. Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of me anyway. I’m only a national hero.” Great, don’t know you, don’t care. Go the fuck away.
Finally, I found something on harnessing solar magic. Magic involving solar energy is rare among unicorns, usually being exclusive to Princess Celestia. Celestia typically likes keeping her secrets close to her chest, but unicorns gifted in solar magic reportedly experience increased energy in sunlight and feel a weak connection to the Sun. Examples of solar magic include-
“Hey, are you listening to me? I don’t like being ignored.” He said sternly, pulling the book away from me. “Or are you that bookworm-type character that I have to help out of her shell?” I finally had to look at the rude fucker. He was a tall pure white alicorn with a jet black mane and deep blue eyes. Needless to say, I did not like this guy. Oh great, another one. Just what I fucking needed.
I adjusted my visor and gave him a cold stare. “Sir, I don’t know who you are, but this is a library. I don’t care if you’re best friends with the librarian or in her pants, but that does not excuse you from your inconsiderate actions and obnoxious behavior. I came here to read a book, and that’s what I’m doing.” I said with my best Charcoal impression, taking the book back. It was then I noticed an Element necklace around the guy’s neck, complete with a solid white gem in the middle that seemed to glow with the whole color spectrum. Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me.
“In her-what?” His face contorted into something resembling frustration before he let out a sigh. “Okay, maybe I deserved that. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I’m sorry. Can we start over?” He asked.
I didn’t want to, but a nagging, almost tingling feeling in the back of my head told me I’d regret it if I didn’t. I reluctantly nodded. “Very well. Hello, who are you?”
He raised an eyebrow at my shortness, but I wasn’t really willing to be forthcoming with this guy. “I am James, a traveler from another world, and transformed into a hero for Equestria. Good to meet you. What’s your name?”
“Odd name, but alright. Sunshine, amatuer meteorolgist.” I lied. No way I was gonna tell him I was essentially a fugitive from another world myself. I already had one alicorn on my ass, I didn’t need another. Of course, it wasn’t really a lie, as I did consider myself that. It was just a hobby though.
“Uh huh.” He took a look at the books I had. “What’s with the books? Wouldn’t a meteorologist be looking at weather books instead? And besides, what’s there to study when pegasi already rule the weather?”
That tingly nagging feeling came back. I had to say something. “First off, can’t a mare have a little enjoyment in her life?” It still felt weird referring to myself that way, but I mentally shook it off. “Second, while earth ponies tend the plants and pegasi control the weather in Equestria, the same can’t be said for the rest of the world. There is always more to learn about the world we live in. I’m sure you don’t know everything about your world, do you?” I asked, to which he shook his head. “Okay then.”
He stood there for a second more before sighing. “Sorry. Again. Sometimes I forget how new I am to Equestria, even though I’ve seen-nevermind, you wouldn’t get it. Where’s Twilight?” Oh, don’t change the subject, I know exactly what you were gonna say.
I hid my smirk in a smile and pointed towards the basement door. “Basement. She said she was gonna look for any other books on light and solar magic.”
“Why solar magic? Isn’t that Celestia’s forte?”
That feeling was really bugging the shit out of me, and I had no idea why. It was like a headache, but without the pain. “Yes, but there are are a select few ponies that can be gifted with it as well, and after the matter crossed my path, I began research into seeing how it could be put to use in other ways.” Even though I’ve only been at this for a few minutes, suddenly I had a whole speech ready. “Remember, the source of all life on this world comes from the sun. Imagine if ponies other than Celestia could put that life-giving power to use in different scientific and arcane fields. We could change the world with this knowledge!”
The tingle stopped as I pondered what the hell I just said. It was completely ad-libbed on the fly, but it felt so real. I felt genuinely excited about the possibility of changing a world I just set foot on. I really sounded like an overeager scientist there. Almost like Twilight. Or I could be two steps from actual villainy and just not realize it. I dunno which worried me more.
“Sure, but in the wrong hooves, knowledge can be very dangerous. I’d hate to have to use my Element on such a lovely mare.” He said, giving me a sincere smile.
Memories of Stud Muffin threatened to crop up again, and I shoved them back down. “Element?” I had to ask.
“I’m actually the long lost 7th Element of Harmony. Apparently it was lost over two thousand years ago, and it brought me here to Equestria. Even gave me this sweet new body.” He did a pose, and somehow a magical spotlight shone down on him from nowhere.
“Uh huh…” I suddenly regret every decision I ever made today. This guy is the culmination of ultimate stupid. I had to almost physically refrain myself from just facedesking right on the spot. “Well if you’re done I’d like to get back to my book. It was nice meeting you… James.” It really wasn’t nice. I felt my IQ drop several points just talking to him. Or maybe I gained some. I dunno, that crazy rant I went on kinda scared me.
James walked towards the basement, but stopped and turned back to me. “Hey, if you’re going to be in Ponyville, maybe I can show you around? Or we could have a lunch together?” Was he trying to ask me out? Seriously.
I sighed. “Cliche dictates that if I say no, my stomach will growl and embarrass me, then I will have to say yes anyway. So I will just beat around the bush and say yes. Though since you offered, you’re paying.” If there’s one thing I’m going to take advantage of while I’m here, it’s getting free meals out of this unsuspecting idiot.
He chuckled and shrugged. “Alright, fair enough. You seem more genre savvy than other ponies. Most of them acted exactly as you described when I ask them.”
I gave him my best smug smile in return. “If you’ve seen what I have, you’d pick up on these things. I’d tell you myself, but you wouldn’t believe them though.” I said with a wink. The second thing I’ll do is troll the everloving fuck out of this guy.
“Heh, well whatever new story a character like yourself brings to my life, I’ll be glad to help it unfold. See ya soon, Sunshine.” And with that, he joined Twilight in the basement.
Fucking finally. I was able to read in peace again. “Now then, where was I?” I opened the book back up and flipped through the pages until I found where I left off.
Examples of advanced solar magic include large-scale light spells (see spell matrix example, page 46), heat resistance up to 5000°C, plasma conjuration, and powerful offensive spells. Most detailed information about the complexities of these spells are restricted by the Crown, and only given to high-ranking military officials and archmages.
This was all fascinating information to read about, but aside from the last one, I haven’t demonstrated the ability to use any of these other spells. And besides that, they were meant for unicorns. I’m a pegasus. Big difference. Maybe I could try finding more information elsewhere, but for now this was a dead end.
I continued looking through the book, even going to page 46 to see that spell matrix. There was nothing more I could find or understand about solar magic that would help me. Shutting the book, I let out a frustrated sigh. “That was almost useless.” I looked over to the Daring Do book. “Well I guess I have some extra time to kill.”
As I started reading, Twilight came back out, James following close behind. Seriously? James? Couldn’t he have picked a pony name, at least? I swear that was gonna bug me. I asked Twilight if she found any more books, but she shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t find anything else down there.”
I shrugged. “That’s fine. The one useful book you did give me said that this sort of stuff is usually restricted by Celestia. I don’t think I’ll learn any more from public libraries.”
“So where else would you look?” James asked. “The Royal Archives? I doubt you’d be able to get in.”
I shrugged. “Eh, I’ll make due. At least I know what I’m dealing with now. Also this book is really good.” I added, holding up the Daring Do book.
Twilight tilted her head. “Really? I’ve always found that to be a low point in the series. For one thing, the whole story is completely unrealistic, even for Daring Do. Not to mention it feels like you’re only reading half the story, like there’s a completely different half that we’re not being told about. It drives me crazy!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I dunno, seems fine to me. I can even see a bit of myself in Daring here.”
Now it was James’ turn to tilt his head. “Really? How so?”
I shook my head. “Not important. Now I guess you’re here to take me to lunch?”
To my surprise, Twilight giggled. “Another pretty mare caught your eye, lover boy?” She asked. The hell’s that supposed to mean?
James glanced at me, then to Twilight. “Maybe. I just feel something special about her, ya know?”
“Hey, right here. I can hear you, ya know. Let’s just get food. I’m hungry.” I said quickly, putting the book down. If this fuck is really going to try pulling a Stud Muffin on me, I better have my mouth full so I can let my hoof do the talking. ...NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!
I left the library, Mr. Too-cool-to-use-a-pony-name following close behind. Of course, he was the one taking me to a free lunch, so I let him lead. On the way, my eye caught sight of a pair of wanted posters attached to a post. Being the curious free spirit that I am, I went closer to investigate. The posters had a bounty of 1000 Bits each for the capture of two dangerous agents of chaos. There were two illustrations shown for them. The first was of a dark-colored unicorn mare with her mane bunched up into a spiky ponytail. The second was of a… human?
What the fuck? Humans are evil here too? Glancing back at the alicorn fuckwit, I could believe it. Maybe I was just naturally distrustful of people who have their heads stuck up their own asses. I also saw behind him were two mares staring at him longingly. Does this guy have his own harem or something? ...Oh fuck, he wants me to join that, doesn’t he? The realization hit me like a freight truck with its brakes cut. Of course this clusterfuck of Gary Stu cliches had a harem of just about every mare in Ponyville. He probably had the princesses at his beck and call too.
I took one more look at the human on the poster. It was definitely a woman pictured there, no doubt. I had to wonder if she was brought here with James, or came separately. Also, why was James turned into a walking embodiment of every bad fanfic while this chick was labeled a villain. Maybe the unicorn had something to do with it. I might just have to look into this myself. I snatched the posters off the post and tucked them away, probably into some sort of weird pony hammerspace. I’ll do it later. First, food.
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A good insult to a human turned pony is calling them OC, I wonder if Sunshine will blurt it out "accidentally"
Teh summoning was a success \o/ new chapter
Ooh, now we are in a land ruled by a bad OC.
Give him hell, Sunny.
I swear I've read that fanfic, somewhere.
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Really? I could have sword I had the most original thing ever
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Could I have that sword of originality?
I hope there is a battle between corruptia(corrupt Celestia) and her(sunny) using nothing but light on the outside it looks like a laser show and on the inside it looks like a crazy ball of light right in your eyes
This... this chapter will lead to promising things. Seriously, Its one thing to be thrown into another dimension, but its a whole other ballgame when your mentally aware of said fanfic dimensions bad cliches and have some sort of "plot device" sense.
I forsee Sunny going total Pinkie due to this slight awareness. Can you imagine someone whos been through what Sunny has with even a tiny fraction of Pinkies 4th wall powers but with the sole purpose of trolling everyone involved to complete insanity? Can only end well.
I shall summon you with the power of the internet!!!
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And I give you cookies.
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i.imgur.com/jvjkIFC.gif
lets face it... the "main character" of this self-insertverse will try to kiss her, once that happens, in order to avoid being kissed... pay attention... anyway, in order to avoid being kissed, just have with you something that have a mouth to kiss instead of you, a dog, a fish or Granny Smith are good examples of that.
I'll be good.
I find it a little odd that Sunshine isn't more surprised that there are other humans bouncing around in the pony verses. IIRC, she was tossed out of her native world through a very complicated series of events that led the bad guys to think that something special needed to be done to get her out of the way. And she's not curious why they did the same thing to him, instead of just Harmony-ing him into a flower zombie? He doesn't even seem to come from the same world, and this is just a normal thing for her? I'd have her interrogate the heck out of him, only to get disgusted when all he really knows are bad pickup lines. It's not terrible that she just... doesn't care that he's human, but it's definitely a bit odd.
I'd also think she'd be a little more scared of him. Like, "Who's this douchebag? HOLY SHIT HE'S AN EOH" Her first encounter with the Elements of Harmony didn't lead me to think she'd just disregard it.
Kind of bugs me that she doesn't just explicitly shoot him down, and actually agrees to go out on a date with him, stomach growlies bedamned. But honestly I'm starting to think Sunshine might be attracted to the kind of guy who's a clueless arrogant douchebag, and she just hasn't admitted it yet. First Studmuffin gets her, then James, and she's just like "I hate everything about this guy. Okay, I'll date him just so he stops bugging me about it. Okay, just one kiss, just because he won't give up if I don't. He's probably going to ask me to accompany him to a seedy motel, ho hum. Might as well go along with it. Figures, he wants to take it to the next level. What a pervert. If I turn my back to him and lift my tail, at least I won't have to look at him when he HOLY CRAP HE'S HITTING MY TONSILS"