"You were awesome, Vinyl!" I exclaimed, trotting through the door.
"Really? That was B-Tier at best." she joked.
"You're way too modest." I told her in confidence.
"I actually have something to tell you." I said, nervously trying to work my way up to telling her how I felt.
"Yeah, sure. What is-" she was interrupted by the phone ringing in the kitchen. "Lemme go get this real quick. Be right back!" she called, trotting for the kitchen.
I heard her talking on the phone from here. I took this as a chance to psych myself out of feeling nervous. I slumped down on the couch with a heaving sigh.
This is gonna be harder than I thought. I admitted to myself.
"Really?" I heard Vinyl say from the kitchen. "Yeah, of course! Anything for a friend." she almost seemed to choke out the word friend, like it was painful.
"Alright! See ya then, bye." she said.
"Who was that?" I asked, as calmly as possible.
"Oh, that was my friend Octavia." she said, choking on friend again. That got me really thinking.
"You seem to not like that word in her context. Friend." I wondered. She cringed at friend. What the hell?
"Uh, yeah... About that... I was a bit of a filly-fooler in my college days. She was my marefriend from freshman to senior year. When we parted ways, things got hard. We fought a lot, and eventually she ended it. We started talking again, and we're friends again." she explained sadly. "Well, the Canterlot orchestra went on hiatus and she's moving down here for the time being. To tell the truth, I'm still not really over her yet." she said broodingly.
BUCK.
"I'm sorry that happened." I empathized. "But it's good you two are still friends." I managed a weak smile. "God knows, I could never be friends with my ex." I joked.
She laughed weakly. "So, what is it you wanted to tell me?" she asked with new found vigor.
"I uh... Wanted to... You know what? Never mind, it's not that important anyways." I mustered.
I can't. Bucking. Believe this.
I said as I covered my eyes with my hooves in frustration.
What do I do about this?
We waited at the train station for an hour. My hooves ached from standing so much. "Is she gonna be here any time soon? Or ever?" I asked, frustrated.
"Have some patience, dude. She'll be here any minute." almost like she was The Great and Powerful Trixie and summoned the train, it came.
"Well, that had good timing." I said. The second I saw her, I knew who she was. I recognized her from the background of some of the episodes.
That's her name! I thought.
"Vinyl! My darling, how are you?" she exclaimed, giving her two pecks on the cheeks all fancy-like.
Ugh. Just how I thought she'd be...
"And might I know your name?" she asked, looking up at me.
"I'm uh... River. River Flow." I told her, somewhat distracted.
"Vinyl, be a dear and grab my suitcase?" she asked her. That reminded me of Atlas from Bioshock. 'Would you kindly?' Creepy.
As we were walking back to Vinyl's house, Octavia brought up a weird subject. "So, Vinyl. Are you seeing anyone?" she asked in that snooty way she speaks.
"Oh, no! Nope, I'm totally single. Single and out there." she said, almost nervously.
"Good, good." she muttered.
What the hell?
"What about you, River? Seeing anyone special?" she asked.
"No." I said sternly.
"Wouldn't you like to be?" she asked, slightly bobbing her head toward Vinyl.
"Oh, I guess. No hurry, though." I said, uncomfortable at Octavia's close proximity.
Then I took the offensive. "Are you seeing anyone, Octavia?" I asked.
"Oh, I had a few stallions in Canterlot wrapped around my hoof, but nothing major." she said with a laugh.
I despised the way she spoke. I couldn't quite figure why. It seemed kind of ominous and daunting. Very passive aggressive. My ears had fits every time she said something. To be honest, she scared the living shit out of me.
I woke up the next morning, and I was me again. I was human. My room was pitch black. I reached my hands out to find a light switch. I thought I found one. When I grabbed it to turn it on, it played a harsh note. It almost sounded like... A cello. Lights flared on above me and Octavia's head swirled around me, laughing. Then Vinyl's head started too. I was freaking out. A trap door in the floor opened below me and I fell into the black depth of my own mind.
"AHH!!" I screamed.
I shot up to a complete ninety degree angle in my bed. I was sweating profusely. My heart raced and my breath was shaky. I raised my arms in front of my eyes. Still hooves. I let out a sigh of relief. I slipped on my robe and went down the stairs. I came down to find Octavia sitting on the couch. Not watching TV, not drinking coffee or anything, just sitting. She tilted her head so she was looking straight at me. Her eyes seemed to bear deep into my inner. Not like Twilight's eyes, which were bright and innocent. Octavia's eyes held a certain dark air. They may have been a bright color, but they had dark intent.
"Hey, Octavia." I said, cautiously.
"Hello, River." she said, smirking.
"Whatcha smiling about?" I asked.
"You like Vinyl, don't you River?" she asked, accusingly.
I was surprised by the sudden change in conversation.
"Would you even say you - loved her?" she asked, creeping closer.
"Yeah. I guess you could say that." I said, growing more and more wary of what she was getting at.
"Well isn't that too bad?" she said, condescendingly sad. "You see, River, I know Vinyl better than anypony else. I can please her better than anypony else." she said, creeping closer to me with each word. I backed away, but she continued after me.
"There's no way you could ever mean more to her than I do. I am her everything, and I intend to keep it that way. So, in Layman's terms, back off of Vinyl, or we're going to have a very serious problem. Any questions?" she said.
"Yooouu... DENSE motherfucker." I said horrified that my suspicions were true. "You're regretting that you dumped her aren't you?" I accused. Before she had a chance to defend herself, I continued. "You're jealous that she's moved on." I lied, hoping she wouldn't see through it.
"Oh, please. I have Vinyl wrapped around my hoof. I basically own her." she said smugly.
"Vinyl is not your property, you bitch." I almost yelled softly. "If you ever do anything to hurt her, we're going to have a very serious problem. Are we clear? Do you have any questions? Good." I said, feeling powerful.
"Crystal clear, Mr. Flow. Crystal clear..." she almost sang to herself. Relatively beautiful on the outside, a fucking monster on the inside.
"You sicken me, Octavia." I told her.
"And you sicken me as well, River."
Disgusting.
This chapter was the lovechild of Apple Jacks , midnight, and intermittent 4chan breaks. Hope you enjoy!
Now that was a really good one. Octavia being a creeper, is funny. Let's just say I didn't see it coming that way. Congratulations, now I'm REALLY interested how it continues
GIMME MOAR!
821519 Don't worry, moar's coming
How long?
821878 I'm starting the next chapter tomorrow, should be done friday
Dude wow. I'm sorry that you like Vinyl and all, but for me being an Octavia fan you anger me. Like a stab in the heart twenty times. Octavia is a Lady, not a psycho possessive pony. I am gonna stop reading this fimfic, but I hope you don't make another one story of her being a total duche. Love the first few chapters though
Very interesting read, but it does happen to have a few mistakes. First, the read is really short, it goes by too fast because you don't have really anything in there to stall or prolong the story. Of course since it is such a short story, it doesn't really have anything to take your mind off the topic at all. It is good to have a few things to side tract the reader for the main topic to add some spice to the subject. Also, another big thing that I have to point out is you need to understand more about the characters you are writing about. For example, the comment above is correct, you made Octavia seem like this classy, yet spoiled and possessive pony over Vinyl. Octavia is some what similar to Rarity in a way. She is sophisticated and classy, but even with disinterest in subjects or things that some ponies do, she toughens up and just deals with it. She may get snooty once in awhile, but she doesn't reach the point that she seems like she is threatening one's actions. Now if Tavi and Vinyl were together, and it seemed that she was on the verge of losing her, it would make sense that she would get extreme to protect Vinyl, but you have seemed to have made her look really rude instead of protective, if that was your intention.
Very interesting read, just make the chapters longer by adding in side chats or unnecessary events. Understand your character's personalities better, and if you do, figure out what to say and how to say it because each line they say can express their personality in a different way than you want it to. So just know when to put certain lines when they are needed. Otherwise, keep up the good work.
855399 I don't know why you'd stop reading it because a pony you like has a different side to them. I mean, nopony's perfect and I have plans to show that in all the ponies in this story. But it's your choice I'm not gonna get angry cause you didn't like it.
its a twist on octavias being but for the sake of this story im kinda liking it.