The Meta-ling

by Queen Sanguine Dreams

Hedwig's Folly

"What does the owl say?" Hooted Meta, crushed with boredom from waiting on Twilight to return from Canterlot.

Who?

"Owls. How do they communicate?"

Who?

"Scribbles, i'm serious. Something as small as chirping could get my cover busted. What do I say?"

Who.

Meta glowered at the ceiling, hoping the library would burst into flames in an attempt to injure me somehow.

"Okay, we'll try it this way." Meta cleared his throat with a squeaky cough, puffing his chest out and draping a wing in front of himself like an affronted noble. "What, dear author, is the correct noise for a barn owl to produce when expected?"

Who.

The amount of angry squawking that could be heard may cause those outside to be deeply concerned about a bird torture chamber, or perhaps if our story had the appropriate rating, I would be allowed to translate in depth. In summary, mothers covered the ears of their foals with a deep scowl at Owlouicious' explosion of fury.

----Another Poorly Contructed Time Break----

Metalicious had calmed down, and was preening himself of loose feathers when the library's front door opened suddenly, a conversation in progress.

"... That everything back in Canterlot could've went alot worse. If it hadn't been for Princess Cadance and Shining Armor's love, we would all be in changeling cucoons right now." Twilight observed, shaking off her saddlebags onto the wooden floor next to their kitchen table.

"Come on, Twilight. Everything worked out in the end, so theres no use worrying about it." Spike suggested, reaching into a lower cabinet for ingredients to make his favourite tea; a recipe he had learned from Zecora.

"I know, its just..." Twilight grumbled.

Meta, if you don't act now, they're going to break the tags.

'What do you want me to do? I'm an owl!"

You're the main character, Meta. If I told you what to do all the time it wouldn't be compelling to the reader. Figure something out.

A short pause later, Metalicious took one of his feathers in his beak and flittered over to Twilight, setting the feather in front of her.

Twilight looked up from her hooves at the sound, her previously stressed mood somewhat easing up.

"Hey, Owlouicious. How did taking care of the library go while I was gone?"

A blank stare.

"That bad? Sheesh. I'll be sure to have somepony from town help you out next time I need to go someplace for very long, okay?"

Metalicious nodded, and turned his head one hundred and eighty degrees to look at Spike.

"Hey, could you not? That's really creepy, dude." Spike complained with a shiver, pouring hot water from the tea kettle into a strainer of various leaves.

Meta's expression was blank for a second, before the predatory instincts in his owl form boiled to the surface in a malevolent grin of comprehension.

"Who?" Hooted Meta.

"The head spinning thing. It weirds me out."

"Who?"

Spike groaned, covering his face with a stubby claw. "Nevermind! I thought we were past this."

"Spike, i'm sure Owlouicious is just stressed from us being gone so long, on top of the bad news from Canterlot. Is that right, Owlouicious?" Twilight offered.

Meta could feel concern and affection flowing from Twilight, meant for the real Owlouicious. He took it anyway of course, the emotions sustaining him for a while longer until more powerful alternatives could be found.

Metalicious nodded, earning him a head pat in order to not ruffle his feathers.

"You can take a break for a few days if you want. I know you're tired from working two shifts to cover for us. I really should've asked somepony to help."

Meta rested his beak on Twilights head; his version of a reassuring head pat. Twilight giggled, and Meta was rewarded with another dose of affection with some joy.

"Three cups of Zecora's spicy tea, if you want some Owlouicious." Spike offered, hopping onto a stool and pushing the drinks to their intended owners as well as he could reach.

"Thank you, Spike." Twilight warmly smiled, gripping her teacup in a field of magic. "Do you want any tea, Owlouicious?"

Meta shook his head. Changeling diet was mostly omnivorous, given the conditions in the badlands where any sort of food was scarce. He would've accepted but was unsure if this was a test of his disguise. One slip up; drinking something that would be hated by the real Owlouicious, would have given him away.

"Suit yourself. More tea for me!" Spike cheered, reaching across the table to grab the teacup barely by the handle to drag it over to himself.

"You could've just asked me to give it to you, Spike." Twilight chuckled, sipping her tea.

"Heh, sorry. It's just really good tea. It's a shame that Owlouicious never even wants to give it a try."

'Whew, dodged that trainwreck.' Thought Meta, mentally patting himself on the back. 'I've got to get out of here. They gave me a free pass but sooner or later the real bird is gonna come back.

Giving Twilight an affectionate nuzzle, Metalicious hooted his goodbyes an flew from the library, his cover intact for now.

"Scribbles, are you there?"

I watch your dreams, Meta.

Meta shivered in flight, nearly causing him to fall to the ground.

"Okay, that was creepy. Anyways, what do I do now?"

Meta, I've told you this before. It is up to you to continue the story. If I give you everything then there is no story.

Meta took a moment to roost on a building, observing Ponyville's merchant square. After a moment, his eyes locked onto a particular shop.

"Hey Scribbles, what's the deal with that place?

They sell Quills and Sofas. What of it?

"Come on, seriously? That has to be a front for something hilarious.

It's your call, Meta.

Meta contemplated his options. He could continue to impersonate the pets of ponyville, but that would make the readers lose interest. If they did that, then his plot armor would vanish and he could die. So long as the audience was entertained, he was effectively immortal.

"Alright, I've got a plan!" Metalicious declared.