Cutting Ties

by fic Write Off

Sweet Escape

As Luna approached the writing room’s door, her walking slowed to a halt. Her sister would be inside. While she knew Celestia wasn’t doing anything private—the writing room was commonly visited clerks, statisticians, or just somepony looking for a quiet place—she still respected her sister, and with what she had come here to say, that respect demanded a knock. So she did.

“The door’s open,” the voice of her sister called out from the other side.

Luna took a deep breath and told herself to be strong. She was doing this for her sister. After using her magic to open the double doors, she calmly strode into the room.

Shelves of papers, scrolls, and ink lined the walls, while desks and tables dotted the floor. Many of the chairs had been moved closer to the windows, likely to give their last host an enjoyable view. The gardens below looked nice in the early afternoon sun, but Luna enjoyed them more once they were lit up at night. Celestia lay on a cushion with a scroll and quill suspended before her in the golden glow of her magic. A small plate with a slice of cake covered in pink frosting sat on the floor next to her. She scribbled lightly, then paused to consider her work. Luna stood still, waiting for her sister to take notice of her. Thankfully, nopony else was using the room at the time.

Satisfied with her work, Celestia rolled up the scroll and let it vanish in a flash of light, leaving her free to turn her attention on the cake. With the fork moving towards her mouth, she finally glanced up to see who had entered. “Luna,” she said pleasantly and rose to her hooves, setting the plate on a table. “I did not except to see you up so early. Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“No, dear sister. I chose to wake at this time for a reason. I have something I wish to tell you, and I required more daylight so that we may act upon it.” Luna flicked her eyes towards the untouched cake. She had arrived just in time. “I... notice you have some cake. Is there a reason for it?”

“Hmm? Oh.” Celestia looked down at the plate and lifted in front of her. “Today was Sergeant Brickwing’s retirement party. Forty-seven years as a royal guard. Can you believe it? I remember when he first entered training. I honestly thought he would quit within a week.” She chuckled and took a bite of the cake. She shut her eyes and smiled, a look of bliss on her face. “Mmm. This is the best strawberry cake I have ever eaten. I just had to take another slice with me for when I did my letters.”

“So, this is your second slice?”

“Third actually.” A slight blush briefly rose to Celestia’s cheeks. Easy to miss, but Luna knew what to look for. “But enough about the cake. What is it you wanted to talk about?”

This was it. Luna needed to address the elephant in the room before it got any larger. “The cake,” she said stoically.

Celestia blinked and looked down at her plate. “Pardon?”

“The cake is exactly what I wished to speak about. Have you noticed the increase in the number of celebrations and festivities that have contained cake, pie, or other baked goods both within and without the palace lately?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Celestia shook her head. “We always have cake at a retirement party. You know that.”

Luna tried her hardest not to roll her eyes. “Yes, sister, but that is not what I speak of.” If Celestia wanted to play coy, then Luna would just have to hammer home the point quickly. “Last month was the National Dessert Competition, where you resided as one of the judges. That was fine, but after that, you held the Gathering of Pastry Makers, the Turnover Turnout, and a sugar sculpture-carving contest that was immediately followed by a sugar sculpture-eating contest. Do you not feel that maybe you have been overdoing it on the sweets?”

“What? No, no...” Celestia smiled weakly, and set the plate back on the table. “So we’ve had a lot of dessert based festivals lately. It’s not like I’m out of control or anything.” She laughed, but it sounded forced to Luna.

“Have you forgotten the impromptu festival you hosted only two days past?” Luna asked. The laughter stopped immediately. “The Cake-A-Palooza Cake Cake Celebration of Cake? You didn’t even try to subtly name that one.”

Celestia’s mouth opened and closed as she slowly shook her head. She regained her composure and looked hard at Luna. “Are you saying that I’m getting fat?”

“No, sister, I’m saying that you are fat.”

Celestia stepped backwards and bumped into the table, sending the plate clattering to the floor. She looked down at herself and began breathing erratically. “N-no, I’m not!”

“Surely you have looked at yourself in the mirrors lately?” Luna stepped up to a window and motioned for Celestia to follow. After sending some magic into the glass, it shimmered and rippled, reforming into their reflections. Celestia stepped up to the mirror and turned sideways.

“Have you not seen the bulge in your belly?” Luna continued, pointing it out. “The pudginess in your thighs? Even your cutie mark looks a little larger.”

Celestia gulped. Her eyes kept darting over her reflection. “Maybe a little, but it’s hardly noticeable.”

Now Luna had to roll her eyes. “If it’s so unnoticeable, then why did—wait!” Luna walked closer and stared hard at her sister’s face. “Don’t move. Is that... it is!”

Celestia frowned. “What? What is it?”

Luna held up a hoof to point at Celestia’s cheek. “The beginning of a jowl.”

“You lie!”

Celestia turned her head back and forth, getting a look at her cheeks from all angles. Her hoof rose to her face to push around her skin as if she could flatten it back out. “Nooo... how could this happen?”

“If we ignore the vast quantities of sweets you consume on any given day, the next logical reason would be lack of exercise. When was the last time you flew somewhere? And I mean by yourself, not being carried in your chariot.”

“I did see Twilight recently.”

“You flew all the way to Ponyville? You didn’t use your magic to teleport most of the way there?”

Celestia hung her head. “What do I do?”

Luna smiled. “I am glad you asked that, sister, for I have spent many days going through the markets of Canterlot, searching for a solution to your problem.” Celestia’s head shot up, her eyes wide. “Incognito, of course! I have found several pieces of exercise equipment and a book on their proper use that I feel will help you greatly. I had hoped you would see reason, so I took the liberty of setting it all up outside before I visited. I am very pleased that you admit to the problem.”

“I suppose I have been a bit careless,” Celestia said with a sigh.

“Have no fear.” Luna pulled her sister into a hug. “With me guiding your workout routine and you eating healthy, you’ll be back to your fit self in no time!”

“Eating healthy?”

Luna broke the hug and smiled at Celestia. “Yes, sister. Eating healthy! Consider yourself, from this moment, cut off from all sweets!”

Luna waited for her sister to respond, she had expected this point to be contested. Instead, Celestia remained still. Luna began to wonder if she was even still breathing.

“Are you alright? You seem to have gone a bit pale. Although, it is a little hard to tell with you.”

---

Luna led her sister through the open field behind the palace, pointing out the various contraptions and how each one was designed to make a different parts of a pony less fat. Celestia eyed the metal bars and benches warily but didn’t ask any questions; instead, she seemed resolved to her fate.

Their tour finished, Luna was finally able to show off the part she was most excited for: the outfits. For herself, a simple black wool cap and a whistle on a long chain. She didn’t know why trainers were supposed to wear this hat, but the book had been very specific. For Celestia, a pink sweat suit and a hairband to keep her mane pulled back out of her eyes.

Once finished dressing, Luna looked at her sister proudly. “Is all this not wonderful, sister?”

“How much did this cost?”

“An extravagant sum of bits, but it will be well worth it. The salespony that sold me all this assured me it would give you bagels of steel.”

“I think you mean buns, not bagels,” Celestia said softly.

“Buns?” Luna tried running the phrase through her mind several times, which only made it sound weirder. “Why would I want some rounded bread to be made from steel?”

“Well...” Celestia pawed the ground. “Why would you want me to have bagels made out of steel?”

“I do not know. It is a silly expression, and I will never understand why ponies now-a-days say it. However, this matters not. Let us begin!”

---

Celestia lay on the mat, her forelegs behind her head and hind-legs stretched out behind her.

“Come on, sister!” Luna yelled, using only a little of the Royal Canterlot Voice to add volume to her words. “Flap those wings!”

Celestia rapidly flapped her wings to raise her chest off the floor, and then slowed them to lower back down.

“Again! Good, good. Keep going. No hooves. This is all wing power.”

“This is not a canoe, this is a rowing machine. I want to see both legs moving!”

Celestia rowed in the machine made for a much smaller pony, pulling the bars towards her only for them to spring back into place when she relaxed.

“Good, you’re doing it!”

Celestia lifted the small weighted-bar with her mouth. She rose her neck, keeping it straight until it was as far back as it could go. She then lowered the bar and repeated.

“You call that lifting?” Luna yelled. “I’ve seen grandmothers lift more weight than that, and they’re missing teeth.”

Celestia glared at Luna out of one eye. “Are they ‘issing teeth ‘ecause of the ‘eights?” she hissed through clenched teeth.

“I do not know. I did not ask.” Luna blew her whistle. “Double time!”

Celestia tried moving a hoof, only to have it remain stuck in place. She looked around at the mess of wires and cabled that held her suspended in the air. “Luna? I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do here.”

Luna held a hoof to her chin as she inspected the monstrosity of a machine. “I do not think I set this one up correctly. Let us move on to the next.”

“Come on! It that all you can do?”

Celestia strained as she tried to pull her chin above the bar using only her forelegs. With just a few inches remaining, she cried out and dropped back down. “I can’t!” she said, hanging limply.

“So, you’re going to give up?”

“No...” Celestia shook her head, shaking a few drops of sweat loose.

“Are you just going to be fat for all eternity?”

“No!”

Celestia roared as she pulled her chin above the bar. With her second wind kicking in, Celestia began doing chin-ups faster and faster. Luna nodded and smiled.

---

“Come on, sister, keep up the pace! Move, move, move!” Luna said as she flapped her wings, rising steadily alongside Celestia, who ran up the palace stairs while panting.

Whether it was through a misstep or just tiredness creeping in, Celestia stumbled and fell to the steps. She moaned quietly and shut her eyes, pulling her legs in close to her body.

Luna landed beside her sister and crouched down. “Do not give up! Not when you are so close. Look!” She pointed up the stairs.

Celestia opened her eyes and looked. Less than a dozen steps remained until she would reach the doorway leading inside the palace. She unfolded her legs and wearily rose. She took a step. Then another.

“Yes! You’re doing it!”

It was slow going, but Celestia managed to drag herself up the rest of the way. Finally on flat ground again, she fell to her haunches and collapsed forward, her sweat suit now a much darker shade of pink.

“Well done, sister. You did it!”

“I...” Celestia breathed heavily and slowly lifted her head. “I did?”

“Yes! You successfully ran up all these stairs. Now, hurry along. Next is swimming. Let us see...” A map appeared in a flash of silvery light. Luna unfurled it and poked a hoof to it. “We’re here... so the closest swimming pool would be... at the School for Gifted Unicorns! But I imagine you still want to keep this low profile, so that won’t do. I know! The pond in the garden should be deep enough for you to do the back stroke.”

“Luna... Luna, wait.”

“Hmm?” Luna looked up over the map at her sister, who was shakily trying to rise back to her hooves. “Something the matter? Don’t tell me you’re tired already. We have not even spent a half hour on this.”

“That’s just it! Why are we running from exercise to exercise instead of sticking to one? I understand the concept of muscle confusion, but I don’t think this is how it’s done.”

“Truly?” The map vanished. Luna tapped her chin in thought. “How strange. I have asked many ponies, and they all agreed that Training Montage’s methods are highly effective.”

Celestia turned away and walked through the palace doors.

“Sister?” Luna quickly followed. “Where are you going? We are not yet finished.”

“I’m getting a drink of water.”

“Oh, well, if you are thirsty I have this!” Luna lifted a sports bottle with her magic and sloshed the contents around. Celestia stopped walking to stare at it. “It’s full of vitamins, minerals, and... electro-somethings. Hmm... well, I’m not entirely sure what it is, but it is purple!”

Celestia resumed her walking and said icily, “Thank you, but water will be fine.”

Luna frowned. This sudden defiance was most troubling. She hurried after her sister and fell into pace besides her. “Perhaps I shall accompany you, then.”

“Why? Do you not trust me?”

Luna cleared her throat and let out a puff of air. “Well... you are heading towards the kitchens.”

“Which is the closest source of cold water.” Celestia upped her walking to a trot.

“It is also the closest source of cake.” Again, Luna matched her sister’s speed.

“You think I have so little self-control that I can’t even go half an hour without gorging myself on sweets?” Now, Celestia was galloping.

“You are trying to leave me behind!” Luna unfurled her wings to catch up, only to have Celestia do the same to stay out of reach.

Celestia stared back. “I thought you wanted me to exercise! Isn’t running and flying good for me? Don’t you want your fat sister to lose weight?”

“Calm down. I only do this because I love you.”

“I know, Luna, and that’s why you are never going to see the sneak attack!”

Celestia’s body grew bright and Luna suddenly found herself in damp darkness and unable to breath. She landed and wrestled against the object wrapped around her head, eventually getting a hoof at a proper angle to tear herself free. She threw the sweaty clothes to the floor and glared at her sister, who rounded a corner, laughing about how she was finally free.

Luna swiped off her hat and brought the whistle up and over her head. “I have tried to be patient with you, sister, but now the gloves are coming off!” She blinked. “Ridiculous modern idioms. What is that even supposed to mean?”

---

Celestia slammed through the doorway. She stumbled briefly and righted herself just before Luna crashed into her, sending them both tumbling over the banister. They twisted in midair until Celestia broke free. Rather than fly away, Celestia dove towards to quickly approaching floor. At the last moment, she flared her wings. She hit the ground hard but managed to turn her crash into a roll. Luna landed and chased after Celestia, who struck down a hoof to flip herself up and land back on all fours, facing the opposite direction. Luna stopped, catching her breath, as her sister stared back and contemplated her next move.

All around the grand foyer, guards and servants came to a halt, watching the pair of princesses.

“Very clever of you to booby-trap the library like that,” Celestia said.

“Only returning the favor from the buttered floor in the ballroom,” Luna replied. She gave her wings a tentative flap. Her sister would resume her fleeing soon and she had to be ready to cut her off again.

“You are never going to win this, you know.”

“I will never give up.”

Celestia smirked and took off in a gallop. Immediately, Luna saw her sister’s escape plan: out the front doors, around the back, and into the kitchen. Not if she had a say in it. She gave chase, her horn glowing bright silver as she enveloped the large doors that covered most of the front wall in her magic. She pulled hard, willing the doors to close. Ancient things that they were, the doors groaned under the strain of being moved much faster than they were designed. Celestia increased her speed and looked to be about to pass through the narrow crack remaining, when she flapped her wings and skidding to a halt. The doors slammed shut in front of her.

Luna approached slowly, looking out for any more tricks. Then she felt it. A summoning spell and a very powerful one at that. Her sister was pulling something, from somewhere, to here in order to aid her. Celestia turned around, her eyes glowing like the sun. Luna gritted her teeth. Her sister wouldn’t go overboard, not with so many other ponies around, but with how hard she had pushed her today, she might—

The air exploded. Light and wind ripped at Luna, forcing her back. When the energy had died down, she risked lowering a foreleg from her face. Her eyes went wide as she saw the metal tip pointed at her head.

“En garde,” Celestia said calmly.

Luna’s eyes looked past the tip, down to the white, folded cloth, emblazoned with miniature versions of her sister’s cutie mark, and then further to the expertly carved, curved, wooden handle.

“Your umbrella,” Luna said flatly. “Seriously?”

Celestia smiled. “Oh, come on. We used to do this all the time when we were little.”

“Very well.” Luna rolled her eyes and began her summoning, using only the minimal amount of magic and not making an overly flashy show of it. Her own umbrella appeared before her: black fabric with a black-stained handle. She raised it to meet her sisters.

Nothing signaled the start of the duel and yet they both knew it had begun. The muffled fwhaps of the umbrellas clashing against each other echoed throughout the foyer. The princesses alternated between offensive and defensive stances, each trying to gain the upper hoof as they circled and weaved around one another. The guards helped the gawking servants move along about their duties and otherwise kept the floor clear of obstructions.

Celestia opened her umbrella and lunged forward. Luna easily batted it aside, but found her sister had used the cover to move unseen. She quickly turned and parried a thrust from Celestia’s horn, only to have the ignored umbrella bop her on the head. She cried out in surprise and backed off.

With the successful hit turning the battle in Celestia’s favor, Luna had been forced into a constant defense. The blows rained down, and she was quickly running out of floor to retreat to. It was then that she noticed Silver Watch, one of Celestia’s butlers, approaching with a cart containing a teakettle.

“There you are, Princess Celestia,” he said, using his unicorn magic to pull out various cups and jars. “I was worried when I didn’t find you in your study. Would you like to take your afternoon tea here?”

Celestia dodged under Luna’s slash and backed up towards the cart. “Yes, some tea would be wonderful at the moment. Would you care for some, Luna?”

Luna parried the thrust and launched into a riposte. “No, thank you.”

Silver Watch poured a single cup, placed it on a saucer, and looked up from his work. “And how would you like it, your majesty?”

Seeing Celestia’s plan, Luna rolled forward and came up between her and the butler. “No sugar!” she shouted, striking hard and driving her sister back. “No honey either.”

“Not even some cream?” Celestia stopped her attack and put on a pouty face.

Luna huffed and backed off. “A little cream,” she said as she passed by Silver Watch and resumed her defense. He quickly finished the preparations and passed the tea to Celestia.

Even while sipping tea with her eyes closed Celestia still managed to easily evade or parry Luna’s strikes. She sighed happily and placed the cup and saucer back on the cart. “Thank you. I needed that. Silver Watch, may I ask you a question?”

“Of course, your majesty,” he said while putting away his tea set.

“Do you think I’m fat?”

To his credit, Silver Watch didn’t even flinch. “A true gentlestallion never answers that question when a lady asks it.”

“And if I ask for your honest opinion as a friend instead of a gentlestallion?”

“Then I would say that you would probably be happier if you watched what you ate and tried to drop a few pounds.”

Celestia stood stunned, giving Luna her opening. The umbrella only sliced through air as Celestia leapt backwards and landed sideways on a pillar, her hooves glowing with magic.

“I’m sorry, Princess,” Silver Watch said, “but you did ask for my honest opinion as a friend.”

“Yes, I did.” Celestia nodded her head and sighed. “See you in the morning?”

“Of course. I hope you two have a pleasant evening and can resolve your little tiff. Good afternoon, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna.”

Leaving the departing butler behind, Luna jumped and landed on the pillar as well. She chased after her sister, who was leading her to the ceiling.

“See?” Luna said as she stepped carefully onto the ceiling. Her hooves held her body in place, but her mane and tail still hung upwards to the floor. “I am not the only pony that thinks you need to lose weight.”

Celestia huffed and readied her umbrella. Her attacks were limited with her being unable to do any fancy maneuvers without becoming unstuck from the ceiling. Luna, who focused more on the technique, soon gained the upper hoof and forced her sister back towards the chandelier.

Their umbrella struck together and held, each sister trying to push the others umbrella back through sheer force. “See reason, sister,” Luna said. “Come back with me to your training.”

“Never!”

“Why are you being... so... stubborn!” Luna shouted the last word in her Royal Canterlot Voice and pushed with all her magical might. Celestia’s umbrella broke loose from her grip and sailed away, spinning towards the ground. A maid below shrieked as the umbrella embedded itself in the floor next to her.

“Sorry!” Luna and Celestia yelled together.

Luna took her umbrella and saluted Celestia. “It appears I have you at an advantage, sister.”

“Appearances can be deceiving.”

Celestia’s smirk told of a trap. The wax confirmed it. Luna cried out as the candles from the chandelier melted and flew towards her, pressing her to the ceiling and forming into a waxy cocoon. Soon, only her head remained uncovered.

Celestia hopped off the ceiling and flipped herself the right way up. She flew in place for a few seconds, smiling at Luna, before sticking out her tongue and blowing a raspberry. She then laughed and flew away.

Luna struggled against the wax. It stretched but was cooling quickly and getting more difficult to move. She decided to help it along. Her horn glowed and frost began to form along the ceiling. She concentrated, dropping the temperatures immediately around her to sub-zero. With her spell over, Luna pushed again, shattering her prison. She flew down to the first pony she saw.

“Which way did my sister travel?”

The maid rose a shaky hoof to point out a hallway.

“Of course, she’s heading towards the kitchens. I should have known.”

The only way to get ahead of her sister now was to teleport. As she built up the magic, she looked down at the maid. “I am sorry for the mess I made. I am also sorry I nearly impaled you with an umbrella. That was not my intent. If you are feeling shaken, you may take the rest of the day off.”

---

“That’s cheating, Luna.”

Luna stood in front of the door leading to the kitchen, having just appeared there after picking up some reinforcements. Flanking her were two bat ponies, her own personal guard.

“Maybe so, but desperate times called for a bending of the rules,” Luna said.

“I’m terribly sorry about this, Princess Celestia,” the bat pony on Luna’s left said, “but Princess Luna is our direct superior.”

Celestia nodded. “I understand perfectly and will not hold you accountable for anything you do while under my sister’s orders.”

“Where are we?” the other bat pony said and yawned. “One second I’m asleep and the next I’m being told to keep Princess Celestia out of the kitchens? It’s too early. Not even dark yet.”

“I’m afraid your Guard can’t help you here, Luna,” Celestia said with a smirk.

“And why, pray tell, not?

“Because members of the Equus Chiroptera family are sensitive to bright lights.”

“Because...” Luna’s eyes widened in realization.

“It’s going to be one of those nights,” the bat pony on Luna’s right said as Celestia’s body suddenly emitted a bright flash of light.

“Grab her!” Luna shouted, squinting her eyes from the momentary blindness. “Argh, not me!”

“I can’t see anything!”

Luna heard hoofsteps next to her, and lunged in that direction. She felt satisfied to hear her sister cry out in surprise. “I have her, men! Climb up me and grab ahold. Ow! Watch where you are grabbing!”

“Would if I could, Princess Luna.”

Luna felt herself being lifted by magic and held on tighter. She blinked open her eyes and saw the blurry outline of a door opening. With a magical push, Celestia sent them all tumbling forward into the kitchens.

“Your majesties?”

Luna looked up into the face of Peach Sorbet, the current head chef of the day kitchens. She looked back with a worried expression. “Are you both... all right?”

“Ah, Peach Sorbet,” Celestia said, untangling her forelegs from one of the guards’ wings. “So good to see you. Is any of Brickwing’s retirement cake left over?”

“Of course. It’s right over there. Quite a delicious cake, wasn’t it?” Peach Sorbet looked at all the other chefs that had stopped working and then back at Celestia. “Um... would you like me to cut you a slice?”

“Yes, I—”

“No!” Luna scrambled to her hooves, leaving behind the groaning bat ponies. “No cake for my sister!”

Celestia humfed and stood up straighter. “Peach Sorbet? As Princess of Equestria, I hereby order you to serve me a slice of cake.”

Peach Sorbet blinked and moved towards the cake.

“And I order you to ignore that last order,” Luna shouted.

Celestia wheeled on Luna. “You can’t do that!”

“I can and did.”

“Then...” Celestia looked at Peach Sorbet. “I double order you to get me some cake!”

“Triple order you not to!” Luna scowled and moved her head closer to Celestia’s.

“Infinity order!” Celestia scowled back and bumped her forehead against Luna’s.

“Infinity plus one! No take backs!”

Celestia’s eyes widened and she pulled back at the mention of the highest order possible. “I...”

“Face it, dear sister, you have been out maneuvered.”

Celestia drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Very well. You win, Luna. You have prevented Peach Sorbet from getting me any cake. So, I’ll just get some myself!” She ran forward towards the cake.

“What? No! Sister, think about this!”

“I am.” Celestia held up a plate with a perfectly cut slice of cake on it. “I think that the strawberry frosting on this cake is so good it should be outlawed.” She turned towards Luna “And that’s just an expression. You can’t actually outlaw strawberry frosting, so don’t get any ideas.”

Luna grabbed plate with her magic and pulled. “I won’t let you do this to yourself.”

Celestia held on tight. The plate hovered between the two, drifting one way or the other slightly but staying close to the middle.

“Let... go!” Celestia said.

“No! Think of your bagels! They’ll end up soggy like this cake instead of firm like... oh! I think I just got the meaning of that expression.”

“If you want it so bad... then take it!” Celestia let go of the plate. It flew towards Luna, who ducked at the last second. She watched the plate fly through the air and land on one of her guards’ faces. As she turned back to her sister, something hit her, knocking her over. The same something then sat on her side, pinning her to the floor.

“Noooo...” Luna cried out. “So much... weight...”

Celestia laughed from on top of Luna. “It’s over, little sister. I may be fat, but at least I have my cake.” She levitated the fork towards her mouth.

“That’s fine. You earned it.”

Celestia paused with the cake just past her lips. She pulled the fork back out and set it on the plate. “What do you mean I earned it? Is this some kind of trick? Did you replace the cake with health food?”

“No tricks.” Luna shrugged her shoulder upwards, slid out from under Celestia, and stood up. “We’ve been running around the palace like a pair of energetic fillies for almost four hours now. This was far more exercise than I was planning. Whew, I think even I could go for some cake, now.”

Celestia frowned at her cake. “You... planned for all this?”

“Not initially, but once I realized how much running around we were doing, I just went with it. I was fun, though.”

“Yes, it was.” Celestia smiled, then sighed and placed the cake on a nearby table. “I don’t think I want to eat this.”

“No really, sister. This isn’t a trick. It’s good to reward yourself so you do not get burned out from dieting. The book says so.”

“I know, but after all the work we did today.” Celestia shook her head. “It just wouldn’t seem right. I’m sorry, Luna. I may have gotten a little carried away.”

“We both did. I shouldn’t have been pushing you so hard.”

Celestia sighed and poked her stomach. “Well, it was for my own good.”

Luna drew in a sharp breath. She looked away from her sister. “Celestia... you are not fat. Or at least not as fat as I made you out to be.”

“What are you talking about? I saw how big I’m getting.”

Luna shook her head a looked at her sister. “The mirror I made was not exactly to scale.”

“Not exac— was this a prank?”

“No! I...” Luna sighed. “Do you remember the charity dinner we went to last week? The one with the Duke of Withers?”

“—and his wife!” Celestia finished. “I’ve never seen a pony as large as her. I actually thought he married some species of intelligent pig until I got close enough to see her pinkness was her fur. I felt so embarrassed for the Duke the whole night. Especially with those noises she made while eating.” She shivered.

“Yes. So when I saw that you were gaining weight, I...” Luna shuffled a hoof on the ground. “I grew worried.”

“Thank you,” Celestia said, pulling Luna into a hug, “but I don’t think I’d ever let myself get that bad. Especially not if we do something like this every day.”

Luna grinned. “You enjoyed my exercise routine?”

“I did.” Celestia nodded. “That is, once you stopped torturing me and we just had fun. I think this will be good for both of us, if you’ll agree to it.”

“Of course! I’ll even diet with you to so you don’t feel any temptations.”

“That will help greatly. Although, I think next time we may have to tone it down a little for the palace staff.”

Luna looked around the kitchen at the spilled cake, knocked over items, her guards being helped up, and the general look of confusion on all the chefs’ faces. She blushed. “Sorry, everypony.”

“Now that that’s apparently settled,” Peach Sorbet said, “will you two be having your dinner in your usual place?”

“Yes,” Celestia said and looked between herself and Luna. “We should probably get cleaned up first.”

Luna nodded. “It’s also almost time for me to raise the moon.”

“Very good, we shall be ready in say, fifteen minutes?” Peach Sorbet said. “Tonight’s meal shall be a watercress salad, and for dessert was to be a chocolate pie, but now...”

“I think some fresh fruit would be a better choice. Don’t you agree, Luna?”

Luna dragged her eyes away from the cake she would never get to try. “Maybe some strawberries?”

Comments

[Pav Feira]

Training Montage, ahaha!

This was cute. Had a lot of laughs. Plenty of Luna-not-getting-the-present-day-idioms jokes; even though there were many of them, I didn't find it to be grating or anything, since all of them were quite good.

Regarding characterization, I know that people often take liberties with the Tia/Luna relationship. Luna worked for me; there was enough canon in there, and your own interpretations on top of that were amusing and contributed. For Tia... she served the role that she needed to play for the story, but I didn't really recognize her as Celestia. She just sorta seemed to be doing her own comedic thing as the story dictated. I'm not saying you need to be a slave to the predefined Celestia archetypes, but the lack of her acting in a recognizable manner gave me suspension-of-disbelief issues. Though, maybe I just haven't read enough Tia/Luna fics.

The ending felt a bit too long, perhaps.

Overall I enjoyed it. Plenty of laughs.

[Ezn]

Electro-somethings are what ponies crave.

I guess you're missing a few hyphens and people don't really "reside" as judges on competitions? This doesn't have any flaws that slap me in the face.

Celestia's really representing in this write-off. This was an amusing fic well told, and your Luna was great. I groaned at the Training Montage bit. Good job, author.

[Compendium of Steve]

Well this made my night; it's the kind of silliness I whole-heartedly support! While "Never" gives MLP serious depth, this story gives it added amusement (Now I wish there were actual umbrella fights in the show. Ah well)

A most enjoyable story, and with an ending bordering on daaww-worthy. Good job!

[Always Breakfast]

Luna gets the bagels thing right at the end

I think the most satisfying part though was the butler who walks in on his goddesses duelling umbrellas whilst walking on walls and asking him if one of them is fat, and he just has this total completely unflappable going on the whole time.

This is number two on my list so far, so yeah. Fun read!

[TacticalRainboom]

Fun and a cute use of the meme. Good work, author.

[BleedingRaindrops]

ashamed that I never read it in the write off. oh well. It was... Delicious. Pinkie Pie would be proud