Ooooh, this is gonna be good.

and*

In your description, before the page break.

7175479 Thanks. Never drink and edit. Bad things happen.

Let's do this!

Yes! My favorite milf! I know what I'll be reading tonight.

Sigh....
Welp, might as well be the first to say it;
That booty had me like reactiongifs.com/r/drngd.gif

Huh. Better than I expected. Didn't have any of the normal awkward perception feedback I get from most other 2nd person stories I've read, immersion worked perfectly. Premise and plot is looking good, and the plot is mighty fine too. Definitely tracking this one.

I think this story will turn out good

You sir, have my attention...and a cookie. It was left over from lunch and I don't want it.

moral

You dropped an e.

7175615
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started another story huh? are you ever gonna devote time to one story i dint mean to sound like an asshole but dam that's annoying

Commence read.

All-in-all, it’s has more of a ‘home’

That one bugged me.

Now to await the eventual shenanigans.

I wish more second person authors wrote like this. It's vanishingly hard to find worthwhile stories with that tag.

I'm wondering what time frame this story is set in. Is this while Twilight and Shining are finishing their schooling with Celestia and the academy? Or is this after Twilight is princessified and Shining is a father? Just want to know how awkward it will be when one of them invariably walks in on their mother getting it on with a teeneager. (Misspelling intended)

7175656

Your mom is needed to help get Equestria's weather back under control after Tirek's rampage.

It takes place a couple of weeks or so after the end of Season 4. Tirek's been defeated and Equestria is still recovering, hence why your mother is leaving you with Velvet.

If this turns out to be anything like 'Summer on Fire' I'll be a happy man.

Milf tastic.

7175632 Oh please. Blackie isn't the worse when it comes to that. There's authors on this sight that have 40+ stories going and never work on them.

Smut? Good!
Blackie-brand Smut? All reading is on hold baby! Lets do this!!

Lovin the setup BTW. Sexually (distracted?) toubled teenager is my jam! (seeing how I am one)

7175596

Does it have raisins instead of chocolate chips?

7175668

'Dat booty had me like:

With a nice ass like that there better be a good amount of anal

Looks promising. I'll track it until some good stuff gets rolling then it most likely will go right into my favourites folder.

7175687 Don't tease me like that. Having us knock up Velvet is unf

7175872 Well, which is it? Do we want to tap that ass or impregnate her?

7175886
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7175872
"Don't tease me like that. Having us knock up Velvet is unf."

I love how you refer to the main character as "us." I get it since the story is second person but I find it hilarious to think of this as some collective effort on the part of the readers. A kind of "Fimfiction Bangs Twilight's Mom."

7175923 "No, what are you doing? Grab her flank! Grab her flank! No! That's her hoof!"
"Who's in charge of the hand? Get your shit together!"
"Grab the flank!"
"Firmly grasp it!"
*SMACK*
"Well, that was close. We smacked her ass. Now, how about grabbing it?"
"Who's in charge of the leg? Why is it bouncing like that?"
"Will you guys shut up?! I can't hear Twilight's mom moaning!"
"I'm hungry!"
"Who's in charge of the penis? Why isn't it hard yet?"
"Eeh, MILF just doesn't do it for me. Sorry guys."
"What do you mean MILF doesn't do it for you?!"
"I prefer dickgirls."
"Damn it! Get back here and bang her until she can't walk straight!"
"Nope, sorry guys. Just not feeling it today."
"GOD DAMN IT!"
"I have to go to the bathroom!"

7175955 I'd read that...

“It’s fine,” you say as you take my seat. You reach for one of the tacos, only to pause a second later and return your hoof to your lap. Your mom taught you it was impolite to start eating before everypony was at the table.

So, are we having an out of body experience here? How we taking our own seat like that?

In other news... I like where this is going.

~Skeeter The Lurker

7175955 FimFiction plays Twilight Velvet

I only noticed a "You're" where there should be a "Your", but other than that, you seem to do pretty okay, editing while drunk. Keep this thing going. There's only this one chapter but I'm already hooked and need my next fix asap ;)

7175955 Blackie and his Dickgirls

Good so far

7175923 we're all in this together! ... holy shit! i just realized how big of a slut Twilight's mother must be :P

7175710 ik he's not the worst but still so many authors start writing other story's and they just get bored and never Finnish them i just don't want to see that with some of my favorite story's again.

7176383 I will not deny. Dickgrill is superior grill!

7176138 That would be awesome... until that one asshole forces us to pull out and finish on her mane while screeching like a pterodactyl. It's all fun and games until someone has to ruin it by being a dick...
"I said I was sorry! I'm new to this!"
"YOU HAD ONE JOB! AND YOU BLEW IT!"
"Yeah, all over her mane."
"SHUT UP!"

Is this a HIE fic?

. My normal foalsitter’s out of town, and

Comma and ...really ? First block of text and this ? How drunk were you?

7176699 there is no such thing as chicks with dicks ...just dudes with tits

7176774 No.

7176775 What's wrong with the comma?

7176928
, and = bad grammar
come on they teach that in elementary school

7175886
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7176974 Where did you go to elementary school?

Two specific situations call for the use of a comma before "and." The first is created when we have three or more items in a series. This mark of punctuation is called the serial comma.

The second situation occurs when "and" is being used to coordinate two independent clauses. An independent clause—also known as a main clause—is a group of words that has a subject and a verb and can stand alone as a sentence. In the following example, the independent clauses are in brackets:

[Miguel took piano lessons for sixteen years], and [today he is an accomplished performer].

7177736 ~ well I'm off to maim my old English teacher for being dumb ... Learn something everyday guess I was wrong my bad ... Elementary bit was a joke ...

7177755 That's fine. Writing fanfiction has taught me more about writing and grammar than my old high school teachers.

dis is gud

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/7/11/935013__safe_pinkie+pie_princess+luna_screencap_meme_image+macro_faic_do+princesses+dream+of+magic+sheep_spoiler-colon-s05e13_do+not+want.jpg

Wait, come to think about it, Cadence has officially joint the MILF team ~

And I can just imagine Twilight walking in on them

Hi mom I came to vis-

What the buck are you doing!?!

alright i bite

Besides, the absences just made the time you too did spend together all the more better.

wrong to you used too in stead of two

have had to foals before I know what a teenage appetite is like. It was just, the way your face lit up. It was adorable.”

again samething

7177434 I agree with these men. Why choose?

7175923
7175955

Like some sort of twisted, X-rated TwitchPlaysPokemon? I could get behind that...

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