Plenty of both sexy and funny moments, along with a hint of drama and bit of karma. Nicely done.

What's with the alternate universe tag?

7156616 That's more based on the full... Well this is a section of a different story that is a sequel to a story where the Changelings are widely know about and live in the towns undisguised.

Well, Twilight will never be the same.

Don't worry Twilight. My brain is doing the same thing

Hah, nice. And Twilight gains a life's worth of mental scarring.

The were a few minor errors, but nothing major. And Sunbutt indeed has a stick up her butt, the lust give us doing fine off good and their campaign against sex trafficking has saved probably thousands of women from a life of sexual slavery.

One thing, though. The clitoris is the small nub between the labia major and labia minor, the outer and inner lips, so it can't really clench down on anything. You were probably thinking of the labia minor.

7161047 Probably... Though Vaginal Walls also can't massage, Again, first time writing this kind of stuff, so it won't be the best... Ovi can do a lot with her body. If I ever decide to write another, I'll try to make it better

I wish this was broken up into chapters.

7162364 Sorry...... I did think about it, but every point I could have split it either had not enough, or too much content in one section. I'm sorry if it is a bit long... I hope you enjoyed it despite that....

7162376
It makes it very hard to read, but there where a few points when I though you could have split it. But, if you don't want to do that, then you can always put it into parts. I do that with long chapters a lot.

7162380 I've tried coming up with ideas like that... But here is the problem...

A Day In the Hives is all in one chapter for easy location of the Hive you wish to focus on. Since the main story is 'T' Obviously I could not fit this in there. So I wrote it up and put it here, only after I posted it did I realize how GIGANTIC this chapter was (The Previous ones only reaching 12k max and I didn't think twice about it... Now if I knew how long this chapter would be, I certainly would have cut it down a bit, but now I feel like I will miss something if I try to split it up (As does happen with me) and then there will be this huge section gone... I'm very sorry and I will try to do better in the Future

7162399
You don't have to change anything to break it up into chunks. Like I said, there are a lot of places where you could have split the chapter up. Like all those places where you used a line to break things up, you could have used some of those for a chapter break.

It's just hard for people like me to read long stories like this. I'm not the fastest reader and I don't have 2 hours to sit down and read a big long chapter. I know there is a bookmark feature on this sight, but i cant get it to work properly on my phone. It just make things easier to read and easier to re-read the good parts when it's in smaller chunks.

7162503 Yeah... Again sorry about that... I promise that no other Chapters are any near this long.... yet...

Really quite well written actually... Lots of detail and a good, well flowing story. Sexy enough to be provocative, but with enough other stuff in and around it to be an actual story, not simply sexy porn. In fact, I'd personally label this as an adult fanfic rather than simply a clopfic.

Only one suggestion I can really give... You should try and break it up in to anywhere from 3 to 5 chapters to make it easier to read :)

Once again, well done ^_^

7164307 I would be lying if I said I didn't think about it... However, I tried to keep it all in one chapter to keep it all even... Though I suppose I could... I'll give it a little thought... Then I might split it up...

I'm very sorry about asking all these questions that have probably been answered before (because I can't find them and don't know where to look, sorry), but what happened to Carrie? Is that elaborated on in an earlier fanfic?

sensually in anyway,

any way,

it’s sheathe.

its sheath.

the Stallion’s sheathe

sheath (sheathe is a verb). You seem to make this mistake every time.

need to your highness…”

need to, Your Highness…”

terrifyingly huge

Why is thee last place soon very duty

I'd hate to be Twilight

That was a lot of fun. The most thirsty Hive indeed...

I can see the appeal for a stallion virgin, though I doubt it for a Mare that might want to be handled gently here ...