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A Hypothetical1,327 words
Sixes and Nines695 words
You Can Eat Them Anytime832 words
Frosted For Her Pleasure1,332 words
Butts1,752 words
It’s Just A Phase1,235 words

Frosted For Her Pleasure

"Dashie, look!"

All Rainbow Dash wanted to do was read her book. The new Daring Do book had just hit the shelves this morning, and she was determined to finish it before Twilight Sparkle could. Nopony beat Rainbow Dash at a race of any kind, and Twilight was no exception. From the sound of it, though, Rarity had other ideas.

"Can it wait, Rare?" Dash asked, doing her best to not show her annoyance. Sure, she was annoyed, but the last thing she wanted to do was get Rarity upset. She didn't want anything to take her away from her book, and a stern lecture from Rarity over her "tone" would almost definitely cause an even longer distraction than if she just went to see whatever it was that Rarity wanted.

"It's something you'll really li-hiiiike~!" Rarity sang from the kitchen. Dash rolled her eyes. Rarity did know quite well what she liked, but it probably wasn't something she liked as much as Daring Do.

"I'm reading my new bo-hooook~!" Dash responded in turn. She regretted the mild hint of derision that had seeped into her tone, but it wasn't like she was being a jerk. She was just copying the way Rarity spoke. That was fine, right?

"Come look or else you'll be spending the night on the co-hoooouch~!" came Rarity's reply.

That wasn't fine.

Dash glared daggers at the kitchen doorway for a few seconds. The poor doorway did not deserve her ire, but it was the best she could do at the time. She glanced back down at her book before setting it down. She was already halfway through chapter fourteen. With all of the other reading Twilight had to do, there was no way that she could possibly be that far already. This did not change Dash's level of irritation as she walked into the kitchen.

"There you are, Dashie!" Rarity gushed as she watched the perturbed pegasus plod into the picture. "Come come, look what I've done!"

Had Dash's brain been inhabited by a squad of miniature Dashes as so many cartoons were wont to claim, they would have been directing all their efforts to her willpower in order to stop the snide remark that threatened to escape from her lips. Thankfully, they managed to succeed at their job despite the fact that they simply did not exist.

"What is it?" Dash asked, moving a little closer to finally catch a glimpse and get this over with.

The sight before Dash's eyes caused her to stop in her tracks. Sitting before her were six large trays, each one blanketed in cupcakes. Every cupcake was frosted with care in multiple colors, not a single one matching the one before it. The scents of fresh baked goods and sweet, sweet frosting fought for supremacy in the air before finally deciding to call their battle a draw right in front of Dash's nostrils.

Dash had been reading her book ever since the moment she'd arrived home with it in tow. While this did plenty to satisfy her imagination and senses of competition and completion, her need to eat had been woefully neglected. The brilliantly fragrant olfactory reminder was more than enough to remind her body of this fact. The perils of the brave Daring Do were a distant memory for the prismatic pegasus. The location of the Sun-Soaked Scepter, the bombastic bouncing bombs of Dr. Rick O'Shea, the fate of the Uiri tribe if their precious artifact was not returned...none of it mattered at the moment, for in her own mind, Rainbow Dash had become Dash, eater of cakes.

"Every single cupcake represents a part of my new line!" Rarity said, positively dripping with a mix of self-satisfaction and sweat. "I've made sure to decorate each delight with a unique pattern to represent a different piece! It took a number of hours and a hint here and there from Pinkie Pie, but I've finally matched couture to cuisine with stunning success!"

Rarity was saying words. Rarity was saying too many words. Words weren't cupcakes. Cupcakes were cupcakes. Dash didn't want words. Dash wanted cupcakes. Her stomach grumbled in agreement with her unspoken thoughts, and a tiny bit of drool managed to escape from the corner of her mouth. Had Rarity noticed the drool, she certainly would have chided Dash on her unladylike behavior, but she was still too busy saying words that weren't cupcakes. Once Rarity got on this kind of roll, it was nigh-impossible to stop her.

Dash found herself moving closer to the cupcakes. Her movements required no thought. Her body had simply taken it upon itself to go to the small tasty things—not that Dash would have done differently if she had the choice. As soon as she was close enough, one hoof slowly moved towards the closest cupcake, one decorated in shades of pink and purple. It was at times like this—and really no other times at all—that Dash wished she had taste buds in the frogs of her hooves, because it would make the inevitably wonderful flavor of the cupcakes be recognized that much faster.

"Ah, yes, isn't that one lovely?" Rarity asked as she watched Dash reach towards the cupcake. "The finest of the collection, if I do say so myself!"

Time moved as if in slow motion as Dash's hoof neared the cupcake. Little else mattered in Dash's world as the gap closed between the two. Soon it would be hers. All hers.

And then it was gone.

Or, more accurately, it was no longer visible. The clang of the metal tray cover closing over the cupcakes echoed through Dash's mind like the sound of a gunshot.

"And now to bring them to Canterlot!" Rarity declared as she levitated the trays into a small wagon.

"Wh...what?" Dash stammered. Her sense of smell hung onto the remaining traces of their scent in the air, desperately trying to defy logic and solidify the scent into what had caused it.

"I'm displaying them with the dresses, silly!" Rarity replied, as if that would fix everything. She gave Dash a sweet smile. "Now, weren't they lovely? Didn't I tell you it was something you'd like?"

Dash's brain might as well have turned into a cupcake, what with the utter silence and vacant stare and all.

"See you tonight!" Rarity sang as she hitched herself to the wagon. "Love youuu~!" In a blur of grace, she was gone, taking the delectable delights with her.

It had all happened so fast. Dash wasn't sure if she was angry or sad, or even anything at all. Her stomach rumbled again, as if to ask what had happened to the treats it was promised. Dash didn't respond. She had never spoken to her stomach before and she wasn't about to start now, not when the only words she could come up with would have made it angry enough to never want her to speak to it again.

With a dejected sigh, Dash grabbed a bag of pretzels from the nearby cabinet. They would sate her hunger, but they couldn't hold a candle to those beautiful baked goods. As she flumped back onto the chair in the living room and picked her book back up, she wondered if things could possibly get any worse.

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight's voice called out as she poked her head into the window. "Can you believe what happened in chapter fifteen?"

Dash decided that this was a good time to get out of the house.

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