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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ok there are a couple of goods now.
1.seems the story is followable now. BUT I suggest you make it so the future does not reveal to much about the past if it has not happened yet that way the viewer will not see if coming a mile away due to a future vision.
2.(I admit this is because of the fact he is a OC of mine but...) Lightning actually having a role again instead of having quick short moments then vanishing.
3.the fact he was in equestria. that should appease some fans who wanted equestria things again.
ok so not a bad go so far, keep it up. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
Lightning talk ahead. ignore if you do not like my side comments on lightning
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nice trick with the fact lightning can not always use the power. like at that moment, he was could not have the concentration to focus it to light a fire due to the cold.
bonus points for him being a soldier (or royal guard. I can not really tell). That is actually how I view a job he would have if he got one.
1643029 Aw I appreciate the love man! And for all those who have asked 'Go back to Equestria!' Then don't worry, I'll put more into the story. I was actually thinking about re-writing A Few Good Stallions so it can be understandable now. Am I right?
1652259
maybe you should. as long as sight still has a large part