New Family

by awesomesauce4

Chapter 8

He woke up to find sunlight streaming in through the windows, Celestia still fast asleep. Nightmare Moon was staring down at her solar counterpart, petrified as Celestia nuzzled the taller alicorn in her sleep. Chrysalis watched with a smirk, and once she saw he was awake, she looked at Jeremy for an explanation.

“She came in during the night. Needed cuddles, apparently. Pretty cute, huh?” Jeremy remarked.

Chrysalis softly laughed. “She loves you,” the changeling queen informed him, and Jeremy grimaced.

“Yeah… I know. It’s… complicated.”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “Why is three marefriends any more difficult than two?” she wondered.

Jeremy sighed. “A couple reasons. First, like I said, humans are only supposed to have one. I was trained all my life to believe that I would only get one life partner, if that. Having two is alright, but only because you two don’t really demand that much out of me. Hell, we’ve only ever been on a single real ‘date’ – and that was at the Heart of the Moon. Having three… well, at that point it’s obvious that I’m taking on more responsibility than I’m capable of handling.”

Chrysalis nodded, interested. “How many dates do human partners go on?” she asked curiously.

Jeremy shrugged. “Never had one. From what I remember, it’s whenever they want, which is fairly often – maybe once a week to once a month. The guy takes the girl out to a movie, or a restaurant, or something, or maybe just hangs out at one of their houses.”

Chrysalis nodded again, a thoughtful expression on her face. “So, if you were trying to live up to romantic standards back home, you’d have to go on three times as many dates,” she conjectured.

Jeremy nodded. “Or the same amount of dates with three times as much stress involved. Gotta make sure all of you are having fun, after all.”

Chrysalis pondered this. “I see. Well, I suppose that makes sense… still, I think you should talk with her about it.”

Jeremy sighed. “To be honest, I think she has some kind of crush on me because I ‘saved’ her. That part in the fairy tale where the damsel in distress swoons over the gallant knight who has rescued her, something like that. Except that’s not the kind of love that can sustain itself – it’s more passion than anything else.”

Chrysalis looked at him in surprise. “I wasn’t going to say it, but you’re right – her love is mostly passion,” she revealed. Jeremy considered this.

“You’re probably right,” Celestia spoke up, startling all three of them. Jeremy whipped his head around to find her awake and staring at him sympathetically. She smiled at Jeremy sadly. “Maybe it is because you ‘saved’ me. But… another part of it is that once you did, you never really treated me like a ‘princess.’ You never bowed, never got scared, or treated me as inherently superior. When I was considering ending my life, you never spoke once of my duties and responsibilities as Princess… but merely of the loss to my friends. It seems like, to you, I’m just… another pony. Just a friend, not a Princess. And that’s something nopony else has ever done, even when I asked them to. It’s… I can’t get enough of it,” Celestia admitted.

For a moment, Jeremy didn't know what to say. He chuckled awkwardly, shifting in the bed. “I… to be honest, the reason why I don’t treat anyone differently is that I genuinely don’t care what their position in life is. They’re all just… people, you know? Sometimes that attitude makes people like me, sometimes it rubs them the wrong way because I don’t respect them enough, or something.”

Celestia giggled. “Well, I think it’s a wonderful approach to life,” she soothed.

“So… doth this mean that thou shalt join us in romance?” Nightmare Moon wondered.

Celestia blushed and looked away. “I understand if you’re having doubts about your capability, Jeremy,” she began, addressing him instead of Nightmare Moon. “Just so you know, I think you’re more than capable. You are the Element of Love, after all. But if you don’t feel up to it, then I won’t pressure you. It’s your choice, after all.”

Jeremy sighed. “Thanks… a lot,” he murmured in relief.

“And… I think my answer is ‘no,’” Celestia added, returning her gaze to Nightmare Moon. “It would not be fair to simply insert myself into your love lives, nor would it be politically tenable.”

Chrysalis smirked. “She says, while cuddling us for all she’s worth,” the changeling queen snidely pointed out.

Jeremy chuckled appreciatively, and Celestia blushed with a nervous giggle. “True… but that’s different! I was just hoping maybe I could… join the ‘cuddle pile’ every now and then…?” she asked, hooves tapping together in a slightly pleading expression. Jeremy, Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon looked at each other, and it was decided.

“I don’t see why not,” Jeremy agreed. “Cuddle piles only get better with size.”

Celestia nodded appreciatively, and nuzzled him on the cheek. “Thank you. Er… does anyone know what time it is?” she asked curiously.

Jeremy shrugged. “Is there a clock in here?” he asked, looking around.

Nightmare Moon dismissed this with a shake of her head. “No need. It be sixteen minutes past eight in the morn.”

Celestia immediately paled in alarm. “Eight sixteen?! I need to go raise the sun! Thank you again, bye!” she cried, springing up and dashing off.

“Isn’t the sun already up?” Jeremy wondered, looking at the window above them where sunlight was still streaming through.

Chrysalis shook her head. “That’s an illusion. This corridor is untethered from physical space, remember? Discord and Luna probably put it there to make you aware of the passage of time.”

Jeremy grimaced. “Is there any way to turn it back to the ‘night’ setting? Preferably permanently?” he asked, shielding his eyes from the sunlight.

Nightmare Moon looked down at him smugly. “Art thou asking… for night eternal?” she pretended to wonder, and Chrysalis burst out laughing as Jeremy nodded, playing along.

“Quick, somepony get a hold of Twilight!” he added as Nightmare Moon hooted in laughter.

“I bet Celestia would get a kick out of that,” Chrysalis snarked, lightly pushing him.

Jeremy snorted. “I wasn’t going to say this in front of her, but another big reason I can’t have three marefriends is because it reminds me too much of all the fanfictions humans wrote about this world where they seduced every character that laid eyes on them and started harems.”

Nightmare Moon suddenly tried to stifle an explosive fit of the giggles.

Chrysalis stuck her tongue out in disgust. “What’s a ‘harem’?” she asked. Nightmare Moon blushed as Jeremy explained, and by the time he was done all three of them were blushing furiously.

“Yeah… Two of you doesn’t count, at least in my eyes. Three of you would be a proper harem,” Jeremy explained.

Nightmare Moon smirked. “And yet, thou wouldst not hesitate to flirt when it pleaseth thee,” she jabbed, and Jeremy’s blush deepened even further.

“Only for a laugh!” he defended.

Chrysalis looked at him skeptically. “You only flirt when you’re joking? Seems rather counterintuitive,” she pointed out, grinning.

“At least that way I don’t end up with fifty suitors at my doorstep! If this is what being the Element of Love is going to be like, then being the Element of Love sucks!” Jeremy burst out, unsure whether he was being serious or not.

Chrysalis burst out laughing. “Back in the old days, I would kill for fifty suitors banging at my door. All that food…” Chrysalis trailed off wistfully, licking her lips.

Nightmare Moon rolled her eyes. “Verily, we hath had more than fifty suitors at our door. They ended up dueling each other in a massive tournament for the right to ask our hoof in romance.”

Jeremy chuckled uneasily. “Who won?” he asked curiously.

“None of them won,” Nightmare Moon scoffed. “We grew so weary of them treating us as a trophy to be coveted that we hadst the lot teleported out of the castle.”

Jeremy hummed in agreement. “See, that’s what I’m afraid of. For every new lover I get, I have to make sure I’m treating them right – not as another addition to ‘the collection,’” Jeremy explained, air-quoting the last bit as he finally hopped out of bed, getting dressed. “And there’s only so many lovers for which I can actually make that happen. One’s fine, two’s pushing it, three’s right out.” Chrysalis reluctantly followed, leaving Nightmare Moon alone on the bed.

“Coming with me to breakfast?” Jeremy asked, glancing at the pair of them.

“May as well. I’m curious to see what other ‘foods’ taste like,” Chrysalis explained.

“We shalt remain behind,” Nightmare Moon declined. “After all, somepony must reconfigure this illusory spell to thy liking.”

Jeremy smiled appreciatively at her. “Thank you. Also, you should talk to some of the other humans, most of them have watched the show. You’re practically a celebrity.”

Nightmare Moon smirked. “Perhaps I shall. Away with thee, before thy body submits formal complaint of sustenance,” she shooed, an obsidian hoof waving imperiously in the direction of the door.

Jeremy laughed, obediently leaving the room, and Chrysalis followed, snorting. “What did she even just say? I didn’t get it,” the changeling queen complained.

“She said ‘go get food, you’re hungry,’” Jeremy explained. He looked around. “Where are the other humans?” Jeremy wondered. The doors were all closed, so either everyone was still asleep or they were already out somewhere.

“Maybe they’re at the dining hall?” Chrysalis questioned, looking at the other doors in the hallway, which were all closed. “Or maybe they’re just still asleep… Well, whatever. The dining hall should be open now,” Jeremy dismissed.

They arrived at the dining hall, Jeremy blearily rubbing his eyes as Chrysalis looked around curiously at all the various types of food. At first, nobody reacted, either too focused on their food or too tired to care. However, this was soon to change when Chrysalis bumped into a noblepony who was returning to his section of the table.

“Oh! Excuse me, ma’aaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” the unicorn stallion screamed, realizing who he had just bumped into. “CHANGELING ATTACK! GUARDS! HELP!” the panicked noble screamed, pushing past anyone and everyone in his way in his attempt to escape. Nearby ponies shied away from Chrysalis, who held out a hoof in a shocked and pleading manner.

“Wait, I didn’t-! I wasn’t going to-!” Chrysalis stuttered. She trailed off, however, when it became clear that this wasn’t working, the ponies closest to her inching backward in fright as she approached.

“HALT!” a voice thundered, crashing through their eardrums, and everyone flinched as Princess Cadance swooped over the audience, landing in front of Chrysalis with a glare.

“I didn’t do anything! I just touched one of them accidentally!” Chrysalis pleaded, looking horrified.

Cadance looked at her, and her expression softened. “It’s alright,” she replied, giving her changeling counterpart a shaky smile. She turned to the rest of the dining hall guests. “Queen Chrysalis is here on our behalf. She is learning the magic of friendship, and as such is not to be treated in such a manner. She is a guest of this castle,” Cadance emphasized.

“Her? A guest?!” one unicorn immediately scoffed. “Remember the last time she was here as a ‘royal guest?’”

Cadance and Chrysalis shared a grimace as they recalled the last time the pair of them had been in Canterlot together.

“T-that’s different!” Cadance replied.

“She’ll only hurt us, just like last time! She’s not a good pony!” another cried.

“She’s a monster!” another chimed in.

“ENOUGH!” a second voice roared, this time with enough force to physically blow back the nearby ponies.

Princess Luna stepped forward, the ponies closest to her frantically bowing and moving out of the way as she joined Cadance, turning to face the dining hall. “Are you not familiar with history?! Look at yourselves! Dismissing a creature as beyond our help when she is clearly asking for it! Are you so willing to revisit the events of Discord’s reign? Or how about Nightmare Moon’s?!” Luna thundered, shocking the audience speechless.

“Nobody is beyond our help!” Cadance added. “No changeling, no monster, nobody is too far gone for the magic of friendship!” The Princess of Love looked back at the pair of them, to find Jeremy beaming with pride and Chrysalis giving her a furtive smile.

“Agreed!” Princess Twilight called out, teleporting onto the scene with a bright flash of purple magic. “Queen Chrysalis is not the same changeling who attacked Canterlot. She is not the same changeling who foalnapped the Princesses and I. She is already a much better pony than I ever expected she could be!” Twilight lectured.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chrysalis grumbled under her breath to Jeremy, who quietly chuckled back.

“Just roll with it, she means well,” he whispered back.

“S-she won’t hurt us?” a unicorn near the back questioned, still sounding scared.

“No,” a fourth voice spoke up, quiet yet somehow resounding through the hall. “She won’t.” Jeremy and Chrysalis turned around.

Princess Celestia strode into the hall, giving Jeremy a friendly nudge as she passed by him before taking her place at the center of the other three alicorns. “She has learned from no less than a master of friendship, her own groom, King Jeremy.” At this, Jeremy blushed furiously and looked away.

Master of Friendship? Is she serious? he sent to Chrysalis.

Just roll with it, she means well, Chrysalis snarkily returned, and Jeremy had to suppress giggles.

“For those of you who do not remember, until recently all four of us were visiting Queen Chrysalis’ Hive. Perhaps it is time for me and my sister to explain what, precisely, occurred during our stay,” Celestia decreed, looking at Luna.

“When we first arrived at the Hive, I was fully expecting an attack,” Princess Luna began. “After all, the greatest threats Equestria had ever known were all concentrated in that one spot, and who knows what four such evil minds may have created? Thus, I prepared myself for battle. But when the first changelings appeared, they did not speak a word to us, nor did they disguise themselves or any other act of deceit. They simply led us to the Hive’s doorstep, refusing to engage with us at all. Fearing a trap, I braced myself, only to find that the King and Queen had presented themselves right then and there, devoid of any sign of treachery or duplicity. Still fearing a trick, I chose to attack them.”

The assorted audience waited on bated breath for the next part of the story.

“I fought the King, who had sent Queen Chrysalis inside for her own safety. He allowed himself to be defeated by me, refusing to fight back even when he was on the verge of death,” Luna continued, and the crowd gasped.

Oh no, not death, Jeremy thought sarcastically.

Shut up, you, I’m enjoying this, Chrysalis snarked right back.

“Celestia managed to turn me back before I could inflict mortal injury upon him, though in her struggle to prevent me from spearing him with a magical construct of mine, I accidentally launched the spear. It sailed through the air, headed directly for one of the very Guards I had chosen to accompany us…” Luna paused for effect.

“The Changeling King took the spear with his own body.”

The audience gasped, a few glancing toward Jeremy’s chest in horror. He simply continued to stare at Luna, waiting for her to continue.

“The King was taken inside to recover, whereupon the Queen, having returned, furiously asked why I’d been so compelled to murder her love. It was then that I realized that my prior assumptions about this group no longer applied. Something indeed had happened to them in Tartarus, and they were changed as a result.”

“An hour later, we adjourned to the inside of the Hive, once again not accosted by any changeling or villain,” Celestia spoke up. “It was there that we learned of the King’s status as the Element of Love, a human counterpart to our own Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. We also learned of the stories of each of these four villains, and why they had been compelled to do the terrible things they did. I will not repeat them here, for the sake of keeping your food warm, but they were not as purely evil as their actions may have implied. And there, the King finally showed his true agenda,” Celestia trailed off, looking at Jeremy uncertainly.

Wait, what? Jeremy wondered.

Um… Chrysalis agreed.

“He had gone to all this effort, explained so much, all to teach me. Having learned of my sins in Tartarus, he had taken it upon himself to expose me and all that I had done.” Celestia paused a moment to sniff slightly, Luna placing a comforting wing around her. “I… I attacked him, as well. I believed that I was in the right, that I had been doing the right thing down there in Tartarus. He knew otherwise, and proved it to me amidst the heat of battle.”

The literal heat of battle, I might add, Jeremy commented.

“Despite everything, despite every evil I had done, he still refused to fight back. He defended himself and his kind, with a skill and grace I have not seen in centuries,” Celestia went on, an odd light coming to her eyes. “Even after I exhausted my every magical skill on him, even with the imminent threat of death looming before him, he wouldn’t give up on me. Even after I attacked him with the might of the Sun itself, he still refused to even consider me a foe – only someone who was in need of his help.”

This is getting weirdly praise-filled, Jeremy remarked uneasily.

Still the ‘damsel in distress,’ hmm? Chrysalis replied.

“He has done this for many of Equestria’s foes, and succeeded. They are of no threat to us, so long as we treat them with the respect and love they deserve – that they have always deserved. When you are tempted to fear, to hate, please remember the example of King Jeremy. Choose love, not fear,” Celestia pleaded. There was a moment of silence. Then, a single pony began stamping his hooves on the floor, in what Jeremy recognized as their equivalent of ‘clapping.’ He also recognized the pony: Night Light, Twilight Sparkle’s father. Another followed suit – Prince Blueblood, to his surprise. Then another. Suddenly, the whole dining hall was stamping with such enthusiasm that the building shook, and Celestia hid a blush behind her wing, a pleased grin on her face as her subjects cheered.

As the cheering slowly died down, the assorted ponies of the dining hall resumed their business, and the four alicorns turned to face the pair of them.

“What are you doing up so early? Sam informed me the usual time for breakfast for your kind was at least ten in the morning, not eight-thirty,” Celestia wondered.

“Ten? Lazy schmuck. It really depends on when we get up. My breakfast is usually around seven-thirty, because I have class after that,” Jeremy explained.

“You are still in school? You look rather old for it,” Luna observed.

“University,” Jeremy explained. “Besides, I’m only in my twenties. Still plenty of time for education.” Twilight laughed appreciatively.

“I was going to make the announcement about your friends’ return after breakfast… but I suppose that is no longer necessary,” Celestia mused.

“Whoops, sorry. My sleep schedule hasn’t exactly fared well in the Hive – there are no clocks,” Jeremy noted dryly.

“That, and all the injury-induced comas you keep putting yourself into,” Chrysalis teased.

“Meh, it’s a hobby,” Jeremy joked, and Celestia giggled uncomfortably. “So, how was your morning, Celestia?” he asked, taking a seat near the head of the table as the others followed suit.

“…A little better. Turns out Luna raised the sun for me, so I spent the morning answering questions as to why I am suddenly a head shorter than normal, and why my hair isn’t rainbow-colored,” Celestia answered.

“Are those really the most pressing questions they had?” Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Celestia rolled her eyes. “My public appearance has not changed for over fifteen hundred years. According to most of them, it’s a very big deal.”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Ponies. Always so concerned with appearances,” she snorted.

“Well, not all of us can be gorgeous all the time,” Jeremy instantly replied, and Chrysalis blushed emerald green as Cadance began laughing.

“Good one!” she complimented Jeremy, and Jeremy gave her a thumbs-up. Cadance looked at it in confusion.

“Some of the humans have done that gesture before. What does it mean?” Luna asked.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “A thumbs-up refers to whatever appropriate positive response best fits the situation – in this case, it’d be ‘Thanks.’ There’s also a thumbs-down, but it’s rarely used,” he explained. Twilight, true to form, was already taking notes.

“That makes sense… I suppose,” Celestia thought aloud.

“Human customs are very strange, sometimes,” Luna added.

Jeremy snorted with laughter. “Aliens from another planet don’t conform to societal norms – more shocking news to follow,” he quipped. Chrysalis started laughing, the others chuckling politely.

“That reminds me… Jeremy, we have not scanned you into the Monitor yet, have we?” Celestia asked.

“Scanned me in?’ No, I don’t think so,” Jeremy replied, raising an eyebrow.

“What does the scan do?” Chrysalis asked, looking at her suspiciously. Jeremy caught a glimpse of her thoughts – strangely, she was thinking about Harmony Labs, down in Tartarus.

“It’s painless,” Celestia quickly assured them, apparently catching on to Chrysalis’ suspicions. “It simply depicts your statistics in a simplified manner – overall health, attacking power, speed, magical capabilities, and so on. As you might have heard earlier, there are also several more obscure variables that we have yet to determine the nature of.”

Jeremy nodded, already uncomfortable at the mention of the RESET and SAVE abilities. “Well, we should probably go do that after breakfast, then,” he agreed.

“Very well. Let us break our fast, then!” Luna eagerly suggested, trotting quickly over to the food table. Celestia sighed, watching her sister with a small smile on her face. With a knowing look at Chrysalis, Jeremy headed over as well, already eager to see what Canterlot’s finest chefs had prepared for the morning.

To his surprise, there was what appeared to be a table full of meat products, which nearby ponies were mostly avoiding. “Why is that there?” he curiously asked Luna, pointing it out.

She swallowed a piece of cantaloupe she had been avidly consuming, examining the table. “We are receiving some royal ambassadors from the Griffon Lands in a short time, and as such many griffons have already moved into Canterlot temporarily. To accommodate this, we have magically provided appropriate food and drink for them.”

True enough, a finely-dressed griffon chose just that moment to saunter by, picking over the selection of meats with a predatory glint in his eyes and a pleased smile on his face.

“Humans eat meat, correct?” Luna asked, watching this.

“Yeah… We haven’t had to hunt in a long while, though. Mass industrialized production of food saw to that.”

Luna nodded, seemingly uncomfortable. “Yes… well… you are welcome to those foods as well. See you at the table!” she hastily excused herself, trotting away.

Jeremy, watching her go, shrugged and began to pick out some adequate breakfast foods. For once, he chose a bunch of vegetables – not out of any desire to remain healthy, but simply because he was too tired to select much other than what he had already been eating.

He returned to the gigantic table, walking along its length and feeling as though he were skirting the outside of a sports stadium. Ponies and griffons chattered aimlessly, though the ponies were showing some apprehension of the griffons, who tore at the strips of meat with their beaks as though nothing was wrong. Finally, Jeremy returned to the head of the table, plate piled high with food.

“So, wait. You, the pacifist, eat the flesh of other creatures?” Chrysalis immediately questioned.

Jeremy shrugged. “Last I checked, this creature is already dead. Refusing to eat it would literally be adding insult to injury.”

Celestia cocked her head. “But perhaps you advocate for healthier treatment of ‘livestock’ back home? I seem to recall Nick mentioning that as an issue,” she remembered.

Jeremy shook his head. “Nothing I could’ve done would have changed any of that. Maybe now that I have some kind of magic, I could go in there and force the issue… maybe. As far as humanity’s problems go, that one’s pretty low-priority.” At this, the alicorns at the table subtly shifted in their seats, unmistakably more interested in the conversation. Even Chrysalis was giving him a curious look.

“Just what are humanity’s problems, anyway?” Luna asked.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Why… do you want to know?” he asked carefully.

“None of the other humans will talk about it. We were hoping you could give us an insight as to why,” Celestia answered.

Jeremy looked uncomfortably around the table, hoping to find some form of escape from the awkward conversation. “Uh… To be honest, I don’t feel qualified to talk about it either. Maybe speak with all of us humans together, so that nobody can give a biased picture?” Jeremy suggested.

Celestia looked disappointed. “Very well… though, considering their reluctance, I doubt we will make much headway,” she sighed.

“Are humans evil?” Cadance bluntly asked, causing Luna to drop her fork in surprise and Celestia to glare at her niece. “What? That’s what we wanted to ask, we might as well drop the pretense,” Cadance defended.

“Well…” Jeremy trailed off, drawing the attention of the conversation back to him as he considered this. “I don’t think humans are really evil. Rarely does any human make a conscious choice to do hurtful things. It’s just… people make very unempathetic choices, sometimes. We’re more selfish than evil, in a sense. And all those little, selfish acts… add up to some pretty big problems,” Jeremy admitted glumly.

“It sounds as though you are unhappy with your kind,” Luna shrewdly observed.

Jeremy sighed. “Well, I’m not… I don’t hate them,” he clarified. “But… they could do a little better.” Celestia nodded wisely, saying nothing, and they resumed their meal.

“…Can I try some of the meat?” Chrysalis asked after a moment.

“Oh? Sure,” Jeremy allowed.

Chrysalis selected a piece of meat curiously, the others looking on with varying expressions of revulsion etched onto their faces, and she placed it in her mouth. Almost immediately, Chrysalis spat it out, looking greener than usual.

“That tastes disgusting!” she complained, wiping her tongue with a napkin.

Jeremy, watching her antics, raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, but how do you stand that? It was like… I don’t even know what it was like, except that it was horrible!” Chrysalis dramatically answered.

“Um. It’s not… that bad? Not to me, at least,” Jeremy answered. “Maybe you tasted the emotion of whatever creature that was made from, just before it died?” he theorized after a moment.

“That meat was made entirely from magic, replicated from the muscle of a willing cow. The sow was in no pain for the entire process,” Luna informed him.

Jeremy considered this thoughtfully. “Maybe… hmm. I guess you just don’t like meat, then,” he noted with just a hint of dismay.

“Is that a problem?” Chrysalis asked, seemingly reading his expression. “No… but it is going to make going out with you to restaurants a bit harder,” Jeremy noted.

“Not really. Shiny loves garlic, and I hate it, but we still get along fine whenever we go out to eat,” Cadance informed him.

“Yeah, but unless Shining is some sort of fascinating mutant pony, he doesn’t need garlic to survive,” Jeremy retorted. Twilight snorted into her drink, unable to suppress a grin, and Cadance giggled into her waffles.

As the meal drew to a close, Celestia stood up, one look at Jeremy reminding him of what he needed to do. Chrysalis followed him out of the room, Twilight electing to tag along after a moment of hesitation. They arrived in the throne room, Celestia trotting over to the Monitor with a strange urgency. She flipped through a few screens, sighing with relief after a moment before turning to him.

“Please, stand in front of the Monitor with your arms at your sides,” she instructed. Jeremy complied, feeling as though he were passing through the security checkpoint at an airport. Celestia tapped a button, Chrysalis watching in anticipation, and a green laser surface emitted from the bottom of the Monitor, moving upward as it apparently scanned him. As soon as it finished, the Monitor beeped once, and returned to the screen Jeremy had seen it on earlier. To his surprise, he was now depicted as well, a small pixelated version of him drawn just below Cory. Celestia tapped his picture, and statistics scrolled across the screen.

“Your health is currently at maximum. Your energy is very low, but it’s morning, so that’s normal,” Celestia muttered, examining each number. “Battle Statistics… let’s see. Attack… zero? You have no attacking capability?” Celestia questioned incredulously.

Jeremy shrugged. “Well, I am a pacifist,” he reminded her.

“I suppose… Anyway. Defense… a full 10 out of 10. Presumably, that balances your low Attack,” Celestia pondered.

“You always were good at dodging, honey,” Chrysalis added with a knowing grin, and Jeremy scratched behind her ear as he chuckled agreeably.

“Speed, 7 out of 10. Most humans are around 3 or 4 – do you run faster than other humans?” Celestia asked. Jeremy shook his head.

“I’m actually pretty slow at running, but my walking speed is nearly twice as fast as other humans, so that’s reasonable.” Chrysalis laughed again.

“Jeremy can hardly run at all – remember when you were running after Sombra?” she teased.

Jeremy crossed his arms and looked away, embarrassed. “I wasn’t that slow!” he pouted.

Celestia chuckled. “Luck… 1 out of 10. That is… quite low. Most humans have Luck of somewhere around 5 to 6,” she compared, ears flicking in dismay. Jeremy and Chrysalis looked at each other, their earlier mirth diminished by this fact.

With Luck like that… no wonder I die so much, Jeremy noted. Chrysalis didn’t respond.

“Accuracy… 2. Another low value…” Celestia muttered, a trace of worry on her face.

“Just two? How accurate are other humans?” Jeremy asked. “No average would truly describe the six measured thus far – they are too widely distributed,” Celestia answered. She tapped the Monitor again, and a new screen was displayed.

“Secret Stats?” Jeremy read curiously.

“These, according to the instruction manual I received, are unique to the human measured. For instance, Sam has a ‘Secret Stat’ of ‘HP,’ which… you appear to also have. How strange,” Celestia muttered.

“HP stands for ‘Health Points,’ back on my world…” Jeremy noted curiously. Hadn’t his health already been shown?

“Indeed, Sam said much the same. But given that your overall health was depicted on the starting screen, and this number is different, I believe that it represents something different. Perhaps you can figure it out?” Celestia asked, looking at him inquisitively.

Jeremy examined his “HP.” It was currently about three-quarters full, depicted as a bar rather than a numerical value. “Well… there was one game that people speculated might have used it in a different context,” he thought aloud, a nagging suspicion starting to take hold.

“Go on?” Celestia eagerly enthused.

“In this game, they thought maybe the player’s HP didn’t stand for ‘Health Points’… but for ‘Hope,’” Jeremy remembered.

“Hope?” Celestia queried, sounding blank.

“Yeah. You know… the hope that the character would succeed. That the character’s dreams would come true, and they would find their happy ending.” Jeremy finished, looking at her.

“And you have… three-quarters, perhaps, of your maximum ‘hope,’” Celestia clarified, checking the screen again.

Jeremy shrugged. “Yeah? I’m not terribly concerned with the future right now. After all, I already won. I escaped Tartarus, all my friends are alive and okay, and everything’s alright at the moment. Maybe it’ll change later,” he mused.

“I suppose it may,” Celestia hesitantly agreed.

“Now, one last thing…” she muttered, flicking through yet more screens with her hoof. Jeremy watched her golden shoe glide across the touch screen, wincing every time she pressed too hard – gold was a soft metal, but it wasn’t that soft. “What can you tell me about these?” Celestia asked, and he looked at the Monitor again. His heart sank into his shoes as the familiar SAVE/RESET/QUIT screen was depicted on the screen, and he fought to control his expression.

“I think I already talked with Luna about those,” Jeremy answered, mouth dry as he looked Celestia directly in the eyes, trying to avoid giving off any air of lying or misdirection. “They’re some kind of mechanic from video games back home… much like the rest of these stats.”

Celestia gave him a searching look. “What do they mean?” she asked carefully.

“Well, SAVE refers to how many times an outside player has attempted to play the game, or how many times the main character has ‘died,’” Jeremy began, air-quoting the last bit. “RESET is a measure of how many times the outside player has given up on their current path and restarted from the very beginning. QUIT is when the outside player closes the game, though I’m not quite sure how that one would apply in this context,” Jeremy mused.

“I am not sure how any of these would apply in our context,” Celestia added, and Jeremy stiffened as he realized his unintentional slip.

“Y-yeah… they don’t make a whole lot of sense. Maybe we’ll find out later?” he wondered.

Celestia looked uncomfortably at the screen again. “If the SAVE statistic has already reached a value of two hundred and seven… I feel we must figure it out sooner rather than later. But you have been quite helpful already, so… thank you,” Celestia concluded, bowing slightly in his direction.

“Oh… you’re welcome,” Jeremy answered. It didn’t seem like she had caught on… though, with a millennia-old alicorn with centuries of political experience, it was hard to tell.

Jeremy snuck a glance at Twilight, who had remained silent through the whole thing. What was she thinking? Her expression was as unreadable as he hoped his own was.

Comments

[Fireeaters]

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a dodgeball.

[Razzy]

Chryssie obviously can only stomach the finest real sirloin steak.

Dun dun duuuuuuuun!

[SirAnonymouse]

You mean the Hope theory from Undertale?

I had kind of liked that theory, but then it wouldn't explain why HOPE would go up per LV, or why its so low at LV1 and cannot be raised.

ignoring that, nice chapter. I enjoyed reading that, curious to see what happens next.