Part 1: Reflections
Twilight Sparkle stared into the mirror in her bathroom. The reflective sheet showed the blue wallpaper that covered the room, and the white bathtub to her right. Twilight released that she did not really appreciate her bathroom mirror before, despite it having an integral role in her daily morning ritual. Maybe it was because she spent her daily life with it that she didn’t realize how useful it was. How many times had she consulted the mare on the other side to help herself to get ready for the day?
This morning was different. Something was missing, something very important. Twilight raised her hoof to touch the glass. There was no pony on the other side to match her movements. In the mirror, the room was empty. It was such a strange feeling that Twilight took her hoof off the glass and placed it on her neck. The bite mark was still there, and she could feel the scabs covering where the teeth broke the skin. Twilight tried to pinch herself with her own magic. Yelping in pain from her self-affliction, she looked back into the mirror. Nothing changed. The room was empty. Twilight groaned as she accepted the cold, hard truth about her situation. She was a vampire.
She mused that even if she were to go back in time to warn herself, she was likely to fail, and still become a vampire anyway. “Vampires are just a myth,” she could just hear her past self talk, “They don’t exist, they’re only superstitions that ponys made up because they didn’t quite understand the natural decomposition of the equine body.” Twilight also thought that going back in time might actually make herself the cause of her vampirism, creating a time loop. Though, that might actually make a paradox, since if she was bitten by herself from the future, then went back in time to bite herself, where did the original disease come from? Problems like this is why Twilight swore off using the time-travel spell ever again.
She walked out of the bathroom, shut the door, walked up the stairs, and crawled onto her bed. She stared up at the ceiling above her, as she thought back to last night. She rolled onto her stomach as she levitated a thin black notebook from under her bed. She opened to the first blank page that she could find, took out a quill pen, and began to write...
Dear Diary,
I’m a vampire. Amusing, since I remember dressing up as a vampire once or twice for Nightmare Night while I was a little filly. No, this isn’t a joke, this isn’t a dream either. I really am a vampire.
It all started last night. It was getting really late. Spike was already asleep, and Owloysius was still wide awake. The candle was almost out when I looked at the time. Midnight. I had done it /again/, I studied too long. I remember how staying up to midnight seemed to be some sort of special privilege that only the adults had. My parents always tried to get me to bed at a regular time before I got my cutie mark. I never figured out how did they always know that I had snuck a book under the covers, and then read by the light of my horn. Maybe they know me too well, and that anything else would be considered strange.
Anyway, I was about to blow out the candle when I heard a knock. I wondered who could it be at this hour, especially in the chilly autumn night. When I opened the door, I felt the cold breeze fill the room as I stared at the stranger in the night. I think he was a white unicorn, with gray matted mane and tail. Despite his somewhat withered frame, he seemed to have a bit of a regal air about him. He wouldn’t be out of place in the Canterlot courts, provided that he had some food and a suit. He had a rather strange cutie mark though, it was a black heart with a single drop of blood on it.
“Excuse me miss,” he spoke up, “I apologize for the late hour, but could you provide me with a bed? I’m a traveler, and I saw the light on in this house, so I had hoped that someone was awake.”
“Oh, of course you can stay the night.” I said, wanting to be courteous. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, what’s your name?” I introduced myself.
“Twilight Sparkle...” he muttered to himself while smiling, “A beautiful name, befitting a beautiful mare such as yourself. You may call me Blood Banks. Again, I apologize for the late hour.”
“It’s not a problem really. It’s a cold night though, you must be freezing. Let me start a fire for you.” I said as I guided him to the library. I ignited the logs in the fireplace. “Can I get anything? A drink or something?”
“I do not... drink, Miss Sparkle, but the fire is more than what I could ask for, thank you.” He sat down in front of the fire. I didn’t notice it before, but Owloysius was shifting around on his perch uneasily. I walked over to him, asking if he was alright. “I wouldn’t worry about it Miss Sparkle, I have found that some animals usually dislike my presence. A pity really, since I’m very fond of owls. Keen predators, and yet so wise in the eyes and hearts of ponies everywhere.” Banks assured me.
Owloysius did seem to not like Blood Banks very much, so I opened a window for Owloysius. I’ve only seen Owloysius fly so quickly before once, and it was when he was helping me look for Spike when he had run away from home. I shut the window behind Owloysius so the cold air wouldn’t enter the room. That’s when I noticed something very peculiar. Though Blood Banks was close to the fire, he didn’t cast a shadow behind himself. It was like he wasn’t really there. When I asked Banks about this, he looked behind himself, and then I think he cursed under his breath.
What he did next took me completely off guard. He tackled me to the ground, trying to pin me to the floor. It was then I found that he was a LOT stronger than he looked. He then went down and bit me in the neck. I screamed from the pain. I had to escape, and fast, so I used a shield spell to force him off me. In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best choice for the moment, because I could feel his teeth, no, his fangs drag and rip through my skin and flesh as he flew away. He crashed into a bookcase, which I’m surprised that it didn’t wake up Spike. “Who are you, really?” I asked him.
“I’m the lord of the night. And you are about to become my next servant Miss Sparkle.” He said as he got up.
“I’ll never serve you!” I shouted as I fired a bolt of magic at him. I know, I know, it sounded better in my head. Still, I always wanted to at least say it once.
Blood Banks... turned into mist before the bolt hit him. No, seriously. He dissolved into a white haze. Now that I think about it, it kind of reminds me of Nightmare Moon’s preferred method of travel. Maybe I should learn that trick sometime. I could hear him laugh at me, his voice echoing in the empty room, “It’s useless dear, no one can help you now. Not at this hour.”
I ran to the window as he seeped through the cracks, but I couldn’t give chase to him. The energy from the adrenaline started to go away. I felt dizzy as I placed my hoof on my bite wounds. I couldn’t focus on anything, I couldn’t stop the bleeding. I tried to at least try to wake up Spike so that he could go get help. But I couldn’t take two steps before falling onto the floor as my world became black.
Hmmm..... sounds verrrrrry similar to Embarrassing the Darkness and yet different.... eh I'll give it a shot. Will review/ edit comment once read.
Edit: Not bad at all, maybe a tad rushed but just a tad. The only big complaint I have is Twilight seems far too calm to me, gotta remember this was the same mare who drove the town to chaos over a slightly late letter. I could however, see her being in shock thou and the crazy coming later.
Aside from that, it's a simple introduction. Just a taste without much insight were the plot will lead so really I can't say more here. I give it a claw up and a track and we'll see were this leads~
Overall not bad. There's a few oddly formatted sentences that are a bit awkward to read. That, and having the diary entry/flashback in regular text and the exposition in italics really confused me for a good 15 seconds. Still, good enough to come back for more later.
Pretty good start for a first story. Spelling/grammer pretty good. Like others have noted, it did feel kind of rushed, and Twilight seems way too calm.
Do you know how to do italics? Maybe that could help.
733714 Thanks, I'll try to get part two polished up. Though every time I look over it, I think, "There's no way ANYONE writes this long of a Diary."
733944 Sorry, I was trying to find a good way of transitioning between Third-person to the First-person segments of Twilight's Diary, and also make them distinct that people wouldn't get confused. It seems to have backfired.
734282 Well they're certainly distinct from each other, I'm just used to seeing flashbacks and such in italics. I was just expecting it to be the other way around.
Your title is the same as a song I'm learning.
733714 i haven't read this yet but on the note of twilight being calm in the show i noticed she keeps her cool over something like the possible end of the world and was the last of her friend to break at discord yet she broke down on a late letter so her level of uncalm and calm are as random as my levels of intellect (i can be Nicoli Tesla one day then uhh whats a good stupid person to use as a example )
I love it so far.I really do,PLEASE continue this.I've never really seen any other story involving Twilight as a vampire.Only at least...around 3 (One of them was more about Rarity though), so This one seems interesting.
Continue :3.
734421 This is true. She's her own worst enemy in the respect that she's the one who will garner the most panic out of herself (I really hope that makes as much sense typed as it did in my head ).
At the same time however she just woke up to find out she's become in her own words an ancient enemy of Equestria and pretty much a monster. I would think she'd have some sort of panic, maybe not town wide panic, but panic none the less.
But eh that's just me. I completely understand the bipolar intelligence thing
734893 Thank you.
Don't worry everyone, it won't take long for Twilight to start cracking like a priceless glass statue.
737412
Welcome :3.
And Oh ho ho,I am loving this already even more :D!Poor poor Twilight..soon you will be as worse as Nightmare Moon.
Why... that son of a... BLOOD SUCKER! TWILIGHT WILL BE AVENGED!! Sorry, couldn't resist the temptation... werewolf and all that. Any how, love that i finally found a vampire fic. Although my wolf side may hate it... LIKE AND TRACK! Oh and, other then the italic and reg. mix up, story's fine to me.
That was f**king excellent
this is going to be good!
Why are there /'s there?
5352594 poor man's italics
Thought I will say that I have seen many a fic where Vampirism is involved, this one is going to be unique in it's own way.
740050 Heh, you and I are alike in some ways, but I... I am a hybrid between Vampire and Werewolf, moreover a Therian whose DNA has been infused with that of a vampire who feeds not on blood but psychic energy. Therians are a more... Civil version of a werewolf.
734421
2.98 BILLION years later, but, Obama?
Welcomed to the night Twilight...