The Show Must Go On

by BuckingPonderous

"How do you do it?"

Vinyl let out a long sigh, running a hoof through her mane as she watched from the door as the ambulance cart sped away, carrying Octavia's father with it. What was supposed to be a fairly normal get together had gone completely off the rails after he had collapsed in the kitchen, knocking himself unconscious. It looked like a nasty spill, from what Vinyl could see, and it wasn't like the old man was in the best of shape to begin with. He'd just gotten out of the hospital a few weeks ago from neck surgery, and he hadn't even been out long enough to get the neck brace off. What followed was a rather nerve wracking twenty minutes, as she called Octavia from upstairs to come help and she in turn called the ambulance.

In retrospect, Vinyl was startled by Octavia's calm, if not clinical detachment as she dealt with the situation. It was almost cold how she went about it all, obeying the operator's instruction to move her father to a position to assist his breathing, and not even sparing a sympathetic glance when he began weeping in pain as she did so until he passed out yet again. Vinyl had been in a state of mild panic, and trying vainly to sooth him and help out as Octavia spoke with the paramedics. She wasn't even related to the guy, and she could only sympathize, yet there Octavia was doing a sterling impression of Pinkie Pie's sister when her own father was apparently in bad enough shape that they were rushing him to the hospital.

Even now that it was over, Octavia's calm demeanor had not changed. Looking behind her, Vinyl could see her marefriend knelt down behind the table, sweeping up bits of a broken plate, after wiping up the food that had been on the plate like nothing in the world was wrong. It just wasn't like Octavia, or at least the Octavia, Vinyl was accustomed to. Vinyl would have expected Octavia to be in much the same worried state she was in, maybe more on account that this was Octavia's father they were talking about. But there Octavia stood, completely stone-faced, sweeping up the mess on the floor.

Octavia glanced up, catching her stare and holding it for a moment before taking the dustpan to the trash. "Are you alright, Vinyl?" She asked, her tone the first sign of any sort of emotion since Vinyl had called her downstairs. Octavia sounded a bit concerned, not for her father, but for Vinyl. Again, Vinyl was baffled. Wasn't that something Vinyl should be asking her?

"Uh, yeah. I'm cool." Vinyl replied, again running a hoof through her mane, a nervous habit of hers that she'd never quite been able to kick. Shutting the door with her back leg, Vinyl returned to the kitchen, leaning over the counter. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Octavia said, shutting the trash can with a little click before turning back. She flashed Vinyl a small reassuring smile, again making Vinyl feel a strange sense of unease. The smile seemed genuine enough, but the fact that it came to Octavia so easily and so soon after her father's collapse was just weird.

"How do you do that?" Vinyl asked, her mouth speaking before her brain could filter what she wanted to say into something vaguely tactful.

Octavia's smile dropped, but thankfully she didn't appear offended at the question, just a bit confused. "Do... what, exactly?"

"Be so calm about all this." She gestured with her hoof. "I mean, that was your dad, right? Aren't you worried?"

Octavia stared at her for a moment, clearly thinking about how to answer before shrugging dismissively. "Not particularly. He'll be fine."

"How do you know?" Vinyl asked, amazed by how nonchalant Octavia could be about this. Did nothing about this faze her?

"Because he always comes out fine." Octavia answered, her tone picking up a chill of mild exasperation. "And within the month he'll be right back in the hospital again. We've talked about this, remember?"

Vinyl did remember. She'd been hearing from Octavia about her father's poor health for some time now; how he was constantly in and out of the hospital with such regularity that Octavia would sometimes say it was as routine as Princess Celestia raising the sun every morning. But she still didn't get how something like this happening right in front of her didn't provoke any kind of reaction. It was kind of creepy actually how completely apathetic Octavia was acting. "Yeah, but... I dunno, it just feels like you should be more upset about all this."

Octavia scoffed, turning around from the table to look for something to drink. "And what good would that do me? Honestly, Vinyl, if I let myself get upset every time he was back in the hospital I'd never have time to do anything else." Fishing out some wine, she pulled the cork out with her teeth and began pouring herself a glass. "Besides, aren't you the one who's always telling me not to worry about things I can't change?"

Vinyl hesitated, caught for a moment between not wanting to sound like a hypocrite, knowing on a subconscious level that this was a way more delicate topic than she was prepared to handle, and yet still wanting to dig into Octavia's behavior to try and make sense of it. Eventually curiosity won out. "So you just don't let it bother you? It can't be that easy, I mean he's still your dad."

Octavia paused, again giving her answer some thought before taking a very long sigh and draining her entire cup and setting it down. "It's not that I don't care, Vinyl." She began, looking over at the bottle of wine and considering whether or not to pour herself another glass. "If I didn't care, I'd have just left him lying there and went back upstairs. I just...I can't bring myself to get emotionally involved with him anymore. In and out of the hospital he goes, on and on does the revolving door turn. And so much of this misfortune he brings upon himself." She gestured around the kitchen. "I don't see his wheelchair anywhere, do you? He knows he's supposed to stay in there because he keeps passing out." A flash of subdued anger crossed Octavia's face. "Does he listen? No. Not at all. It's difficult for me to feel sorry for him anymore when so much of his misfortune is brought upon himself."

Vinyl found herself nodding, able to at least see the line of logic in her behavior now. But once again her mouth shot off before her brain could filter what she wanted to say. "Still seems kinda cold, though."

Octavia gave Vinyl a look somewhere between highly annoyed and genuinely offended, and Vinyl felt the very strong urge to try and backpedal and avoid this conversation turning into an argument. Before she could say anything though, Octavia cut her off. "Maybe." She said quietly, staring at the empty glass for a bit. "Maybe it is."

There was an awkward silence between them as Vinyl tried to vainly grasp at some kind of response. She wanted to say something to make Octavia feel better, but she knew that nowadays platitudes would only end up annoying her further. Instead, she opted to circle around the counter and put her leg over Octavia's shoulder, giving her an affectionate nuzzle.

Octavia returned the gesture in turn, clearly appreciating her marefriend's support. After a while they separated, and quietly agreed to spend the night here, just to watch the house and in case there was a remote chance that they might be needed at the hospital for something. Ultimately nothing came of it, and they returned to Ponyville, letting the crisis pass. As Octavia predicted, her father was indeed released within the week, and when news reached her of this, Octavia again shrugged it off, feeling no happiness about her father's recovery nor any sense of satisfaction about being right. And Vinyl eventually came to accept that this was just Octavia's way of dealing with the stress. She might not have thought it was the healthiest way of doing things, and now made a habit of trying to get her to open up about it in the rare moments when it seemed like a good idea; but if it worked for Octavia, it had to be good enough.

It wasn't like Vinyl could really do anything to change things either.