Lyrs Change

Travers With Lyra heartstrings as she struggles to come to grips of her own reality as she travers's the strange world of Equestria as she tries to understand just how to live the life she was given in ways most believe her kind would be impossible to face, let alone conquer, and what's Lyra without Bon Bon, the mare of her dreams, her sun to her cloudy day and the hope in her Equine hearts <3.

Chapters (3)

~1~ The Very begining · 3rd Sep 2016 · 3,645 words
3,645
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~2~ The Love of Parents · 5th Sep 2016 · 3,244 words
3,244
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~3~ The Changelings Decision · 20th Dec 2016 · 4,829 words
4,829
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Comments ( 3 )

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Atuhor Name

Atuhor Name #1 · Sep 4th, 2016 · 2 · · ~1~ The Very begining ·

OK first of all the formatting is good! You'd be amazed how often some authors screw up with that, even Mendacity(one of the better liked changeling stories) fell down HARD when it came to walls of text. I also like this as a start, whatever you do don't give up on this.

However you do have a bit(not a lot as far as I can see) of a problem with the wrong words being used here and there, its clear you know how to spell check but you need somebody else(not even necessarily an editor) to go through and point out parts where you may be using the wrong word.

Once you've done that I honestly hope this gets more attention, my advice to you would be to edit the long description to reflect that Lyra is a changeling since the story starts out with her as a changeling. And also to copy down your long description into a word document and look at it there I can see some typos in there.

Alizilith

Alizilith #2 · Dec 20th, 2016 · 1 · · ~3~ The Changelings Decision ·

I am SO VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY!!! for the late chapter, my computer went on the fritz and I had to REWRITE EVERYTHING!!! I"M SORRRRRYYYYY~~~ anyways~~~ I'm trying to work on the other chapters and I hope to get them in order but so much is just so corrupted and such, I barely managed for this chapter, and what sucks is its the chapters that are misshapen are the ones I really struggled to finish with why me~~~~ anyways love ya if your still here to read if not oh well, I'm trying my hardest