Andrew Duron, hardened by his life's many traumas. At the age of 19 his, and everyones, world gets turned upside down after a freak worldwide storm appears out of nowhere and changes the world forever. The Ponies have arrived..
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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What did the ancestors of this guy do? did this guys great-great-great-great grandfather fornicated with a witch and then got cursed along with all of his descendants? Because I cannot find any other explanation for this guys terrible luck.
I wish I could say that is the worst thing that will happen, but there's a reason that this story has the dark tag
When will the next update come out? I can wait for it, it's just some of the stories I've read won't update for like a year or something.
6839729 I should have it out by the end of the weekend. I just need to finish it up and most likely proofread and revise it a couple time so it says what I want it to.
If the equestrians are screening applicants to go to equestria via invading people's minds, are the earth governments doing something similar? It seems ridiculous that a country would let alien beings do this to its citizens.
6842600 I only image Celestia and Luna would do it only if they had to. Also the applicants would be made aware of the possibility, so it would be of their own volition. Whether they listened or not is another thing entirely.
has promise to it, felt the whole lighting scene was just a little too quick/short in the description department but passable, a few spelling mistakes here and there but not bad for a starting chapter0
Super sad back story, Is very attractive, knows martial arts, Graduated college at 19 and Luna cries upon learning about his past. I want to like your story but your character is just oozing Gary Stuness. Upon reading his past I wanted to stop reading, if you want him to have a sad past that's fine just don't have it be the first thing people read when they start the story, it's kind of a turnoff. In school I remember girls who would lie and say they were abused or raped or they had really bad stuff happen to them, in the middle of class not whispering or trying be discreet just talking so other people would hear and feel sorry for them or "say omi gosh no way! " They enjoyed the attention. People who have gone through traumatic things like that aren't open about that shit with random strangers. So him telling us about his sad past right at the start makes it feel less serious.
But Seriously I'm not trying to be mean or discourage you from writing I'm just trying to give you some tips.
So far a very good background story and an even better keep on the story line that is what seems hard to me especially because I can't focus on just one thing and or story line in particular so you have a hoof up upon me in that category though I feel you could have made the back story a little enticing in a way but the way you put is was subtle to the character in the story in which I respect you for so I'm rooting for you in the long run of your first story to be made public to any persons eyes and I hope they see it from your point of view and not scrutinize you for it and I they do I say fuck off because it is pretty good for a first timer and this I have to admit to!!! I will be trying to make my own soon because I'm trying to find more references to read like yours I'm reading right now so if you could please root for me!!!
video link in first sentence is broken.
edit : also ,
read that sentence out loud a couple times and see if it makes sense.
8280038
Thanks for letting me know. I'll get that fixed if I can.
You have my attention...
My good friend Duelist helped with this (and by helped I mean his OC is in here)? Let's take a look then~