Princess Twilight Sparkle all but bounced down the street, basking in Celestia’s sun as she made her way home. Another beautiful day in Ponyville had passed into evening, and she was going to enjoy what remained for all it was worth.
The day had not been without hiccups, of course. The great Everfree spider migration had passed through Ponyville, bringing not only screaming terror, but an important lesson about not squishing innocent creatures. Thank goodness Fluttershy was there. Twilight and her friends worked through as they always did, and wrapped things up in time for snacks at Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight shivered, losing her spring as she approached the castle. That feeling of spiders running up her legs… some friendship lessons came easier than others, and a living testimony to the fact waved at her from the castle stairs.
“Hi, Twilight.” Starlight Glimmer barely croaked the words before degenerating into a phlegmy cough. She swallowed and sucked on the smoking rod between her lips, brightening its glow.
Twilight’s bounce ended with a facefall into a mud puddle. Her head snapped up with a shocked expression and a pink glow snatched the stick from Starlight’s mouth.
“What’s this!?” Twilight shrieked, knowing full-well the answer.
“It’s a friendship stick!” Starlight coughed one more time before turning an excited grin on Twilight. “Queen Chrysalis gave me a whole box of them. She said humans exchange these sticks to show friendship; the more I use, the better friends we are. This is great! I think I’m finally getting through to her.”
“Show me the box,” Twilight commanded. When Starlight complied, Twilight snatched it too and incinerated the lot in pink fire. “Those are cigarettes. It’s not friendship, it’s…”
Her breath came in with a hiss, and a pained smile formed. “You know. Chryssi being Chryssi.”
“Oh.” Disappointment came to Starlight’s face, followed by curiosity. “‘Chryssi being Chryssi’ in the ‘plots to take over Equestria’ kind of way, or the ‘comments on the flavor of pandas in front of Fluttershy’ way?”
“Somewhere in between.” Twilight shrugged. “Anyway, I’m going to have a talk with her. I’ll tell you about these later, but long story short, they’re not friendship sticks. They’re like, anti-friendship sticks. You should probably go rinse your mouth.”
Starlight kneaded her tongue in her teeth, making a disgusted face. “You didn’t need to tell me that. Good luck with Chryssi.”
Twilight sighed her thanks and proceeded into the palace. A few glittering corridors brought her to the castle’s pride: the friendship classroom, complete with desks and chalkboards. Chrysalis sat in her assigned seat, seemingly engrossed with her copy of Basics of Friendship, by Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight took in the scene just long enough to see that yes, the nullification ring was still on Chrysalis’ horn. With a knowing frown, the princess lit her own magic and yanked away the textbook, revealing the latest issue of Tall White Mares propped up behind.
Chrysalis shoved the magazine behind her back and grinned widely. “Oh, hi Princess. Get all the spiders out of your hair?”
“Almost.” Twilight shuddered, reflecting on the fact this was the first day in weeks Chrysalis wasn’t her biggest aggravation. There was a long shower with Twilight’s name on it as soon as she was done here.
Her magic formed a pink bubble around Chrysalis and hoisted her to the air, a process now familiar to both of them. “I saw the ‘friendship sticks’ you gave to Starlight.”
“Neat.” Chrysalis smirked with the slick pride of a cheating student. “Do you want some? I still have a few packs.”
The magic pulled her over to press nose-to-nose with Twilight, who was smirking rather more angrily. “As it happens, I’ve been to the human world as well.”
“Oh.” Chrysalis’ smile dropped.
Twilight’s grew, though it was more stress than joy. “Yes, and now we are going to add ‘Why lying is bad’ to the curriculum.
“Hey, come on, it was a harmless prank.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. They left the classroom, the floating, wheedling Chrysalis helpless at her side. “You know, friends play pranks on each other. It’s not like I did anything harmful, like put bricks in a sandwich or anything.”
A twitch birthed in Twilight’s eye and traversed all the way to her tail. Maybe that last dig wasn’t intentional, but Chrysalis had long lost the benefit of the doubt. Twilight’s nose went up as her hooves carried them to the castle basement. “Chrysalis, as your friendship teacher, I’m starting to have some concerns about your progress. I don’t think you’re taking your lessons seriously.”
Twilight said a couple more things, but Chrysalis tuned it out as they descended the stairs. Friendship, harmony, blah, blah, blah.
“Anyway, here we are!” Twilight’s voice grated as they came to a final door. Chrysalis looked up, then around, and shrugged. A basement this might be, but it was every bit as bright and shiny as the floors above, and the door before them was unremarkable.
Sadly, she saw nothing interesting enough to distract from Twilight’s words. “This is the friendship remediation room. A nice, soft little place for you to deescalate and reflect on your actions.”
Laughter bubbled up through Chrysalis’ mouth. “‘Friendship remediation room?’ That sounds dystopian.”
“It is nothing of the sort!” Twilight announced with a frankly suspicious amount of cheer. “Just some stuffed toys, padded walls, and a speaker system with our greatest spontaneous musicals on endless loop.”
Horror briefly flashed on Chrysalis’ face, followed by glowering resignation. “You enjoy my torment.”
“Of course not, Chryssi.” Twilight beamed back at her, deploying the hated nickname. “It’s not a punishment, it’s an opportunity to think about how you can do better next time.”
Glowing in Twilight’s magic, a key fit the lock and pulled the door open. Padded purple walls greeted them, with the carpeting lost to a pile of plush toys. From hidden speakers, a horrible yowling filled the room.
“Come on everypony,
Smile, smile, smile,
Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine…”
Hopelessness gave Chrysalis strength. Though she shuddered as Twilight floated her through the doorway, she spun herself upside-down in the weightless magic and smirked back. “Hey.”
“Hm?” Closed eyes, still smiling that too-bright smile, Twilight tilted her head.
“I porked your brother.”
Twilight’s smile vanished to a flat glare. Her magic winked out, dropping Chrysalis head-first to the ground.
“Gets her every time.” Chrysalis pumped a hoof into the air as the door slammed shut between them. Between the brother dig and the cigarettes slipped to Annoying Purple Unicorn #2, the day’s battle had ended a draw. That was as good as it got these days.
“All I really need’s a smile, smile, smile…”
Chrysalis hated this song, but the magic speakers were keyed to Twilight’s horn. Nothing for Chrysalis to do but distract herself until it passed. She grabbed a stuffed likeness of Rarity and began tossing it up and down, pointedly talking over the music. “You know, Annoying White Unicorn, I think out of all Twilight’s idiot minions I dislike you the least. You’re a whiny twerp, but they all are, and you make me pretty dresses. I can admire that. I’m a queen, you know, I have to look good.”
“I like to see you grin,
I love to see you beam,
The corners of your mouth turned up is always Pinkie's dream…”
Chrysalis cocked her ear. Wasn’t that the second refrain? She had already been in here a few minutes, the song should be over.
Painful as it was, she listened. The Pink Thing’s annoying voice squeaked out the last verse, then fell to silence.
Then, “My name is Pinkie Pie…”
“It’s on repeat!” Terror and rage blurred together in Chrysalis’ scream. She leaped from the ground and screamed again to the walls, “Twilight Sparkle, you monster!”
Lacking subordinates, she made do with strangling the stuffed Rarity. “This is all your fault! Why didn’t you warn me against bringing up her brother? She always gets me back for it!”
“Smile, smile, smile…”
“This is torture,” Chrysalis declared, tossing her plush scapegoat to the side. “This is a gross violation of the Geneighva convention, and I will be writing Princess Celestia about it.”
“If only I could!” With a hateful roar, Chrysalis bucked one of the stuffed mountains with all her might. The toys scattered, but the one at their core held firm.
Chrysalis’ mouth fell open, for there stood Princess Celestia herself. Not the real one, sadly, but a very excellent stuffed replica. Life-sized, it loomed above even Chrysalis, thickly-stuffed and balanced enough to stand on its own.
“Smile, smile, smile…”
Chrysalis tackled the stuffed Celestia. Her magic jammed a smaller plushie in each ear and she curled up with the cotton alicorn clutched tight to her chest. It was soft, downy and warm, surely like the real thing…
“Not so bad,” Chrysalis admitted. Her impromptu earmuffs hid the music, and the pile of stuffed toys made for a comfortable bed. She settled her head down on the beautiful white neck, her mind already scheming for a way to smuggle the prize to her room.
And then take over Equestria, but this would do for now.
Chrysalis dindu nuffin, etc.
: D Good chapter.
One day Chryssy will be able to snuggle and be snuggled (and choked ) by her crush... but that day is not today
Well it was certainly a funny non sequitur,
Right? Right? Maybe it's just because I've cosplayed as Mr. Cake before, but that scene made my jaw hurt,
Passive-aggression at its finest. Good job, Twilight.
Isn´t hypocrite for Twilight using the same methods than Starlight back in Our Town in order to convert Chrysalis into her way of thinking?
This is almost enough to get me to feel sorry for her. Almost.
7574670
Oh, this isn't rehabilitation, this is vengeance torture.
Whut evn
7574670 Not necessarily. Starlight pulled her propaganda ploy on some random ponies who'd done nothing other than wander into her town. Twilight's using it to reform a convicted criminal. Unless you have an ethical objection to the practice itself, context matters.
7574704
That´s like saying torture is ok as long as the subject is a criminal.
7574670
Try to think of it like... a POTENTIAL friendship lesson for Twilight in the near future! About not using your enemies methods to get the quick results you want!
7574670
I'm pretty sure Twilight does it purely to get back at Chrysalis whenever she pulls one of her "pranks"
7574713
Ponies in canon are remarkably tolerant of mind control when not employed for a purpose they consider explicitly evil, for example…
So yeah, it’s really about whether they object to torture as such or not. We just hope they do…
Images of Rarity and Chrysalis merrily planning outfits together now playing through my head. Also of Rarity squealing with joy when she realises Chryssy can shift to imitate any body shape and therefore is the perfect dress model.
I'm not even going to bother going on a cigarette rant.
Dick move Chrysalis.
7574886 Seems like Shining gave her a dick move.
7574601 I figure that if Twilight ever happens to peek in on the rubber room and see Chrysalis snuggled up with the life-sized Celestia plushie, that might give her an idea.
A little while later, and a few carefully customized spells, and the plushie now talks like Celestia, and uses every opportunity in conversation with Chrysalis to reinforce Twilight's friendship lessons. The Changeling queen may have her deviant quirks, but that just provides a way in for Twilight to exploit.
The funny thing is, considering Chrysalis' appreciation for underhanded and deviant behavior, even though she'll figure out pretty quick what Twilight's up to, she might be impressed with the younger alicorn's moxie. Of course, that could be bad, as well. Especially if Chrysalis' affections threatened to either wander away from Celestia, or broaden to include a much more deviant lifestyle...
7574919 I guess her reaction would at least border "doesn't matter, had snuggles."
Next step up is making Chryssi eat an entire 3 course dinner... prepared by Sweetie Belle.
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Gonna just weigh in here real quick and say this is neither brainwashing nor torture. This is a time-out, made slightly more aggravating by the ire of a miffed purple princess.
Now if she was locked in the room for days being made to listen to that song until her face locked in a smiling position, then that would totes be both.
7574905
Poor Chrysie!
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/25/90/5a/25905a94c1592d0105564793b255959a.jpg
Your time will come, and then Celestia will be yours!
7575026
Hey don't look at me I was pretty much on point.
7575115
Yeah, but you were part of the conversation so I thought it'd be rude to ignore you. >_>
7575130
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw835.gif
Impossible.
"Porked"? Who uses the term porked, in a sex joke?
I see that nullification ring isn't quite living up to its name. Still, as long as Chrysalis can't enthrall anypony, the situation should be at least somewhat stable.
Also, cancer trumps dental work, Chryssi.
In any case, very nice interlude. Sometimes Tartarus is too good for villains. That's where the Princess of Friendship comes in.
Its a good thing Chrysalis is still at the "pranking" level. If she had been a bit more subtle, she could have gotten more of Ponyville addicted to those "friendship sticks" before Twilight noticed. And wonder if they asked Starlight on how to build that "friendship remediation room" (which really does sound dystopian). I wonder if Twilight ever saw one of their monster hunts.
7575147
Fair enough
Did Starlight make that room? Very similar to the one she threw the mane 6 in.
7574713 If you think it's torture then you have an ethic objection to the act itself. Which my remark already covered. But what you said was that it was hypocritical to do the same thing under two very different circumstances. Which it is not.
7575645 Poaching is mostly just a problem with wild animals. Farms are better at protecting them. Also, I've found stuff saying that rhino poaching wasn't a problem until they banned the legal sale of rhino horns, although I'm hesitant to trust that since I wouldn't expect them to ban rhino horns if that wasn't a problem.
7575348 Screen Junkies.
Just want to weigh in here and say that unless Twilight deprives Chrysalis of sleep, it's not torture.
7576060
You know I too was gonna comment on Twilight picking up on Starlight's former tactics
Oh Chryssi, you and your Friendship Sticks
7578493
Or if Twilight's plans involves keeping her there longer than an hour or so. At that length of time it is legitimately more of a "time out". Any longer than yes I would consider it pushing the torture line especially if the song stays on repeat.
Poor Starlight, hopefully there is a friendship patch to help ween her off the friendship sticks.
7574744
Did you, uh, see a preview for today's episode before posting that, or was it just eerily prophetic?
7591402
Check my blog index. :) This is a result of a long series of observations on what the canon actually says.
[Insert "Spongebob Squarepants Movie" Bubble Blowing Baby hunt biker scene]
"DJ, make it louder!"
COME ON EVERYPONY! SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!
I'm kind of feeling bad for Chrysie... Everypony should be able to find true love.
I was wrong. This isn't friendship hell. This is a new level of misery unknown to this plain of existence. There are no words to describe these feelings.
I'm glad I got reassured Twi and her freinds in Equestria aren't that shallow. I can see Twilight has a more complex attitude then FFFRRRRIEENDSSSSSHIPPPP, although, I think Starlight's on drugs.
That's why I call 'em the Friendquisition! Rock on, purple princess!
You know, I want to read a sequel to the story that is more about Chrysalis's 'reformation' and her eventual ending up as Celestia's ...whatever it ends up being. BUT GLORIOUS SHIPPING
Haha, I don't know why it took me to my second reading to pick up on it, but Twilight is learning a few things from Starlight too
This is absolutely ridiculous.