S1E7: The Warner Brothers
The train car rattled noisily along the tracks as it barreled forward, its occupants jostled around with every bump, turn or rock it managed to run over. Most of the passengers inside the coaches felt all the motion transferred directly into their bodies, with no way to ease the impact. It wasn't really uncomfortable for them, honestly. It was more of an annoyance that they had learned to live the first time they had ridden with the Friendship Express. The train was rather old and lacked the newer shock improvements of the recent train models. Still, ponies used this train almost religiously. To them, it was a piece of their town's history, and deserved every day of service it could handle before it would eventually be taken out of commission. So, yes, it was a bit rickety and wasn't the most comfortable.
Except for the first-class car.
For this trip to Ponyville from Manehattan, the entire luxury car had been booked by the two ponies who were now lounging on one of the few cushy seats. The seats were nearly the size of beds and could surely be used as such on longer trips. The cushions that lined these bed-seats were far from the standard stiffness of the coach seats. These particular cushions were enchanted to be filled with clouds instead of stuffing. As such, any race of pony or other species could feel the shape-conforming sensations of that wonderful sky cotton that pegasi were so familiar with. The bumps and jerks that the rest of the passengers on the train felt were all but nullified by the clouds inside these seats. This could have possibly been the reason that one of the ponies, a young unicorn stallion, was snoring away loudly where he sat. Well, it could have also been the lack of sleep he had experienced the previous night. Stress hates ponies trying to sleep. The stallion's faded red tail flicked a little in his sleep. His coat was a light grayish-blue color, with a mane that matched his tail. His cutie mark, a feather quill, was proudly displayed on his rear end. On his front section was a wrinkled blue dress shirt with not much else but a pocket adorning it. The shirt had been smoothed out at an earlier point that morning, but his constant tossing and turning on the train seat had reduced it to a disheveled mess once more. Something had truly been bothering the poor stallion. The mumbles and noises he made in his sleep were becoming very bothersome to the other stallion that was on the seat with him.
"Brother, please wake up. You're annoying. And we're almost there," he said sternly. The sleeping pony awoke with a loud snort. His eyes shot open wide and his legs started flailing, sending his body flying off of the seat and onto the hard floor of the train car. He sat there for almost a full minute, groaning. Eventually, his body chose to work once more and he arose onto shaky legs. With the recent motion, the floored pony's mane was now as much of a disaster as his shirt.
"Buck, that hurt..." the faded blue pony complained. His brother, the pony who had woken him up, regarded him with a cold glare. This other pony was ironically a much brighter color than his sloppy companion. His coat was a bright blue, with a darker blue mane and tail to complement him. On his flank rested the mark of a single bit coin. His chosen attire was a neat and sophisticated gray suit; undershirt and tie also present. His aura of authority was completed with the comb-over he had given his mane that morning, making him appear much older than he truly was. He stared at his brother for a few more moments before speaking.
"Brother, you fell on your face. I would have been more surprised if it had felt pleasant." The messy brother puffed in agitation and sat back, crossing his front legs.
"Come on, Time! I'm your bro, just use my name! Just say Prime! Is that so hard?" he pleaded. Time shook his head mechanically, showing he had refuted this point possibly dozens of times before.
"I will not. We are professionals, brother. Or, at least, I am," Time replied, tucking his legs underneath his body. He liked these new seats very much. The advantages of being a pegasus had always somewhat irritated the unicorn, but now he could finally have at least a small taste of this great luxury. Normally, he would have opted for just booking the entire first-class cabin. However, with how old and cheap the Friendship Express was, the 'first-class cabin with cloud seats' option was even cheaper than a normal 'first-class cabin with standard seats' on one of the newer train lines! Time had jumped at the this opportunity, and didn't regret it a single bit. He did regret something though: bringing his brother, Prime Warner.
"I take severe offense to that," Prime pouted, hopping back up onto the fluffy cushion and settling back in. The ride wasn't going to last much longer, but he hardly wanted to spend the remainder of the trip on the floor. Time just continued to look at him, a cold, calculating look in his eye.
"Noted. Not that it matters, but noted." Prime was about to draw the issue out further, but he was cut off by a shrill whistle that sounded throughout the cabin. They both knew that they would be arriving at Ponyville Station in a few short moments. Time took these seconds to collect himself, using his magic to smooth over his gray suit one more time. He even ran a brush through his mane, making sure that it was neat and intimidating. This was the first time out to Ponyville on business, and boy, was it important. Orders from the Princess herself! Not that he was complaining, however. The season 8 finale of OtherWorld had already done its job. Surely, every being in Equestria was aware of his show's existence, now! The Princess declared yesterday a holiday! A holiday devoted to his own show...this tickled Time's buttons tremendously. And now, the Princess had ordered that his show's biggest draw character be brought back to life! This was amazing for the bright blue stallion. He got to have his metaphorical cake and eat it, too. To hay with that, he got to eat everypony's cake.
Prime, on the other hoof, spent his time trying to shiver himself deeper into the cushions. He did not want to be there today. But he felt it was his responsibility to see the creator of OtherWorld once again. After all, it was technically his fault that Ryan was killed in the first place...this was a meeting he was not looking forward to.
Time noticed his brother's lack of self-tidying and sighed irritably. The sound of brakes broke the silence and soon enough, the train was slowing to a stop inside of a bright station. The brothers had brought nothing but themselves with them; this was not going to be a multiple-day trip. Just a simple meeting regarding the revival of Ryan Burbank, then back to Manehattan to bask in the afterglow of the sudden publicity.
Once the train had stopped completely, the brothers walked side by side out into the station. Prime suddenly felt very at-home, the familiar rural charm of Ponyville soaking into his shivering muscles. He loved it here...it was so relaxing! The ponies were some of the nicest he had ever met, the air was fresh, and it was never, ever boring. Over the few dozen times he had visited on business, he had been caught up in some sort of disaster at least ten times. After his first trip, he had been terrified of returning. He got over it once he had a second visit, which had been much calmer and very enjoyable. He loved how close-knit and loving the community was towards one another. If he wasn't in the business he was, he would have loved to settle down here...
Time, on the other hand, was disgruntled. To him, this town was...'underdeveloped' was the nicest word he could come up with. Where were the tall buildings? The performance theaters? Every little cottage just looked like a house, save for a few that were too odd to even count as buildings. Why did that one building look like a giant cupcake on top of a gingerbread house? That was just...unsightly. The only building he was vaguely familiar with was the fabulous Carousel Boutique. His favorite clothing designer, Rarity, lived there. She was the one who had made the very suit he was wearing. Maybe he would have to stop by and order something while he was here. As for the rest of the town...besides for the crystal castle towering high above, everything was barbaric and forgettable to him. Prime noticed the scowl on his brother's face and sighed.
"Time, this town is amazing. Just because it's not as big or 'fabulous' as Manehattan doesn't mean it doesn't have its own charm. Last time I was here, I had a bunch of fillies hop up onto my back and ride me around for a bit. It was so cute!" Prime gushed. His brighter-colored brother frowned and refused to look at him.
"So you had a bunch of rapscallions climb your body without your permission and use you as transportation? How 'charming.' Maybe next time I want some fun, I'll come around here and get paraded around as a glorified cab. Seriously, brother, I have literally no idea why the Princess of Friendship would choose to stay here. There are plenty of other locations more suitable for royalty than this...dirt trap."
Prime stared at his brother, mouth agape. He stopped walking for a moment, letting Time get ahead of him before resuming his slow pace. While behind his brother, Prime took the opportunity to peek at Time's flank to see if he had somehow gotten something stuck up there. He was sure acting like it.
Nope, nothing there. Pity. If he kept it up, Prime's hoof would soon be filling that space.
Maybe.
They continued walking for a little while, looking for a very specific address that would serve as the location for today's meeting. Before they could get too far, however, a pack of familiar fillies ran up the trailing unicorn.
"PRIME!" they all shouted at once. The younger brother's face brightened instantly. He quickly lowered himself onto the ground, pressing his still-messy shirt into the dirt. The three fillies ran up to him and clambered onto his back, finding comfortable positions and clinging themselves firmly to him. Prime just smiled and stood up, the fillies staying planted securely to his back. These were the same three fillies that had assaulted him last time. They had been shouting something about getting their cutie marks for stallion riding. As uncomfortable as that made him, he let them have their fun by giving them a ride around town on his back. Oh, look! They appeared to have finally gotten their cutie marks! Ooh, they were all very similar. It seemed fitting to the stallion, with how close the three fillies were.
"Girls, you got your cutie marks!" Prime said happily, giving the trio a large grin. They all smiled widely back at him and nodded.
"Uh-huh! Got 'em a lil' while ago, all at the same time!" shouted the red-maned yellow earth pony. Her bow was still the same as Prime remembered: adorably huge on her. They all cheered once more and smacked their hooves together into a three-way high hoof. Aww!
"Awesome! So what is this special talent you all have?" the stallion asked, tilting his head. Ponies getting the same cutie mark was not unheard of, but these were different. They were very similar, but all had their own touches to them. It's like somepony gave out a template and asked the fillies to all fill in the middle with what they wanted. Very interesting. Maybe even good enough for a story...
"Our special talent is helping other ponies find out what they're good at!" exclaimed the orange pegasus. Her tiny wings were buzzing excitedly, sending up a draft that teased her purple mane slightly. Prime really hoped those wings would grow in eventually...
"Oh, really? So what am I good at?" he asked, smiling warmly. The three fillies turned around and looked at the older stallion's flank, examining his cutie mark. It was a very common one to them. They had seen more than one pony with a quill for a cutie mark, but they sometimes meant different things. One pony could have it and be good at writing, while another could have it be good at actually making the quills. The trio had to remember back to when they had met Prime for the first time. He had let them ride around on his back. He also had told them a story about his mother for the duration of it...that's it!
"You're good at telling stories?" offered the little white unicorn filly. Prime was honestly impressed. He had given them enough hints over the couple times they had met, but still. That barely took them a few seconds! He nodded his head and used his magic to mess up their manes a bit. They all giggled and tried to escape his aura.
"Very good! Wow, you girls are good at that." The Crusaders ate up the complement, all three grinning proudly. Prime looked over at his brother, who was still walking at an even pace in front of him. "What about my grumpy brother up ahead?" The girls had to squint to see his cutie mark, but the meaning of a bit was obvious enough.
"He's good with money, right?" asked the orange pegasus. Prime was about to congratulate her, but was cut off by his older brother correcting the young mare.
"Not just money. This cutie mark represents my affinity for all kinds of business. Business, might I add, that you three are currently intruding upon," he said. He voice sounded both cold and annoyed now. Prime sighed and used his magic to rub the heads of the three fillies. The pegasus who had made the guess had flinched back at the harshness of Time's response. Prime hated when his brother was all business. He missed the brother that he had before their mother...
Apparently the trio got over scolding fairly quickly. In an instant, they went from hurt to bouncing on Prime's poor back. What the hay had them so excited now?
"Oh! Prime! We have to tell you something! It's super exciting!" said the previously-scorned orange filly. Prime had nodded for her to continue, but Time's voice interrupted them once more.
"I'll have to ask you three to run along now. We have arrived, Prime. Time to get serious," spat the older brother. Prime scowled but nodded, sighing and lowering himself once more to the ground so that they trio could disperse.
"Sorry, girls, got something to attend to." Amid a chorus of 'Awwww', Prime raised a hoof. This somehow silenced the cute troop. "You can tell me once I'm done here, okay? Now, I'm sure some others ponies may need help discovering their cutie marks!" The three Crusaders got proud grins once more and let out a loud 'Whoop!' before running off. Prime smiled and watched them until they were out of sight. When he turned back to his brother, he was met with a disapproving glare.
"You act like just somepony off of the street, brother. You need to start acting like the executive you are," Time scolded. His younger brother just ignored him and faced the door of the cottage they were now standing in front of. This was it. Time to face the music. No more shivering and hiding from mistakes. He was going to do this. Yep. Aaany second now. Just a bit longer-oh, Time already knocked for him.
Yay?
At first, nopony answered. It barely seemed like the house had been lived in recently. The windows were all shut and locked tight and it almost looked like someone had boarded up the door from the inside. Then, after almost a full minute, movement could be heard from inside. It started out as just hushed hoofsteps, but the sound grew as what seemed like somepony pulling wood planks from the door could be heard.
The brothers waited patiently, both very curious as to why the door had been boarded up. Maybe the windows were in the same condition? The sounds stopped after a few more minutes and the door's lock could be heard clicking. The door to the cottage was then very slowly opened, a golden eye peeking out. For some reason, the expression in the eye was one of terror. Then, as the eye's gaze fell over the two stallions, the expression softened.
The door swung open the rest of the way, revealing a mint-green unicorn with a cream colored earth pony close behind her. Why were they both trembling? The poor things looked like they were about to have simultaneous heart attacks. It obviously had something to with the door being boarded. Were the two mares hiding from somepony? Something? Ponyville was notoriously close to the Everfree Forest...
"H...Hello...can I...we help you?" stuttered the shivering green mare. Prime just smirked at her and flipped his messy red mane dramatically. The mare flinched at the sudden movement and gave the stallion a better look.
"C'mon, Lyra! Don't tell me you forgot about me!" the younger brother said, giving a fake look of shocked horror. Lyra's eyes widened and a smile grew on her face. She immediately walked forward and gave the playful stallion a neck hug. He returned it, but the sudden contact reminded him of why they were there in the first place. Prime swallowed and gave Lyra a nervous look.
"Prime! We haven't seen you in forever! How you been?" Lyra asked. Relief seemed to have been radiating from her. The stallion gave her a slightly less-nervous smile and became his normally animated self once more.
"Oh, you know, out and about. Got lots of-"
"Miss Heartstrings, as lovely as it is you see you two engaging one another, we do have business to attend to. May we come in?" Time interrupted. His younger brother whipped his head around, his cheeks puffed up and red. Prime had trouble deciding whether he should have felt anger or embarrassment. Instead, he just went silent and looked down. Lyra tilted her head at Time but nodded all the same. She stepped aside and let the two brothers inside, leading them to a table that had been flipping back upright just a few moments ago. Why had it been flipped?
"Okay, so what's up?" Lyra inquired, turning around and looking at them. Both Prime and Time took their seats, getting comfortable. The mint mare did the same once she found another chair that hadn't been used as a barricade. The brothers waited patiently until both Lyra and Bon-Bon were settled before beginning.
"We're here on behalf of our company, Olivia Warner Productions. Thanks for seeing us on such short notice," Time spoke first. At the mention of OW, Lyra's eyes went wide again.
"You're the owners of OW? But...I thought Dream Catcher was our agent!" she said rather loudly. Prime recoiled from the sudden noise while Time simply twitched his ear. Dream Catcher was one of their agents, a black-maned pegasus with a coat of very, very dark gray. The younger brother was the one to answer her.
"Dream Catcher's been on leave for awhile. His wife, Marvel, left him to go work for the Princess of Love in the Crystal Empire. He's been angst-ing up the office ever since. We gave him some time off to cool down," Prime told her. Lyra took a few moments to ponder this before nodding her head. Time nodded in response.
"Now, before we begin, I believe introductions are in order. As you already seem to know, this is my brother, Prime Warner," Time said, pointing to his younger sibling. Prime made a silly face at the two mares, trying to lighten the mood. Both Lyra and Bon-Bon gave a tiny giggle under their breath. Time just grunted. "And I am Time Warner, President and Co-Founder of Olivia Warner Productions. Pleased to meet you." The two mares nodded and greeted him back.
"Please to meet you too, sir," they said at the same time. Prime smiled faintly at this. They were very close friends, after all. Of course they were overlap each other every so often. Time nodded his head. He was even smiling faintly!
"Since this is my first time meeting the esteemed storyteller behind OtherWorld, I would like to express some sincere gratitude. I don't know if you were aware, but your show saved our company. Before OtherWorld, we were in very deep financial trouble. We were even planning on merging with Common Caster Studios! Thankfully, my brother found your talent and expressed his desire to see it on our gem line. You and your story are the sole reason OW is what is it today, and I thank you for that." Time finished his speech and watched the two mares give him strange looks. They appeared to have wanted to ask him something, but decided against it and nodded.
"You're welcome, sir. I didn't know Prime was the co-owner of OW. I thought he was just a talent scout. He seems so..." Lyra started.
"Unprofessional?" Time finished. Lyra shrugged while Prime rolled his eyes.
"Something close to that," she confessed. Prime smirked again and leaned back in his seat, make the wooden chair creak under his weight.
"Oh, I am a talent scout. But I just so happen to be the talent scout. I go around looking for cool stories that might make good gem line shows and try to recruit them to OW!" he said, a bit of pride showing through. He loved his job, he truly did. Getting to travel around Equestria, hearing loads of new stories every day? This was his dream. He just wished his brother treated those storytellers better...
"Well, then. Now that that's out of the way, down to business. As I'm sure you've already heard, Princess Celestia has tasked us with bringing Ryan back to life. Isn't that great?" Time stated. Lyra's eyes widened and she swallowed nervously. Prime caught on to her new attitude instantly, his eyes scanning over her now trembling body. What was wrong now?
"Yes...well, uh...there might be an itsy bitsy...teensy weensy little problem with that..." Lyra mumbled. Time's eyebrow raised slowly. He looked almost like he was challenging the poor mare to defy him.
"And that would be?" he asked. His voice sent a shiver down the spines of the two mares in the room.
"I, uh...kinda can't...remember him..." Lyra could barely be heard at this point. Somehow, Time had figured out what she had said with no problem whatsoever. His eyes narrowed and his voice got even darker.
"And just what do you mean by that?" He was becoming frightening to everypony now, even his younger brother. Prime had only seen his older sibling act this way a handful of times, and all of them had ended in violence. He didn't want to have to fight his big brother...but he would not allow his brother to hurt poor Lyra. Bon-Bon either for that matter. Well, actually, Bon-Bon could probably fend for herself, even if she wasn't a unicorn. Already, her eyes were narrowed and locked onto Time's horn, waiting to see if he would dare attack Lyra. Prime also noticed her hooves wrapping themselves under the table, ready to flip it to defend her friend. The younger brother scooted a little bit away from Time, out of the path of what might become a projectile table. Lyra fidgeted around for a few moments before trying to explain her current situation.
"W-well...um...during the last e-episode...uh...s-somepony stole...m-my memories of him..." Lyra's stuttering was the worst that both Bon-Bon and Prime had ever heard. Granted, Prime had only been around her a few times before, but she was always enthusiastic and hard to offend. The younger brother was becoming even more agitated at his sibling for doing this to her.
"That makes literally no sense," growled Time Warner. Every body in the room tensed up, waiting for somepony to make the next move. Silence reigned supreme until Lyra managed to try explaining further.
"I know...it's weird t-to me too...b-but it's true...it even p-put me into the hospital for a day..." she said to the brothers. Prime's eyes widened and he took what she had said into further account. Was that even possible? To go into another pony's head and steal their memories? Actually, that would explain the sudden cut-out last episode. She was supposed to trigger another GemShow advert, but the projection had just cut to black. Could she be telling the truth? Prime was broken from his thoughts by his brother, whose horn was giving off a dangerous amount of static electricity, a warning that he was getting close to attacking. Prime acted before his brain could stop him.
The younger brother swung his hoof out, catching Time on his chest and sending him flying backwards. The chair underneath Time cracked for a split second before splintering into pieces and flying around the room. Time hit the ground and rolled a few times before his hooves could adjust to his new position. He shot up quickly, going into an aggressive stance. His horn was glowing with a spell that Prime had seen used much too often. Prime jumped up and stood in front of the stunned mares. The younger brother adopted the same stance, his horn charging to meet his sibling's.
"What is this, brother?!" Time shouted. The air around his horn was cracking and sizzling with the spell that was so desperately trying to escape. Prime snorted and stomped at the ground, making sure his body completely blocked the angered stallion from the two mares.
Lyra and Bon-Bon sat there in shock. What was going on? The violence had broken out so quickly! They were both unaware of what had triggered Time. All they were sure of was that if Prime hadn't struck first, the older brother probably would have.
"I will not allow you to hurt them, Time!" Prime responded. "You always do this! As soon as anypony says anything that you don't like, you hurt them! Not this time!" His voice grew shaky for a second before he corrected it. Time's response was giving his little brother the most deadly glare that either mare had ever seen. They were both convinced that if the two weren't brothers, that house would have become a war-zone. Bon-Bon was no stranger to fighting, and even she had never seen such pure malice behind the gaze of another pony. It almost looked like his eyes were traveling along Prime's body, figuring out possible ways to take it apart painfully.
And then it was over.
Time lost his aggressive stance and regained his composure. Prime did the same, albeit cautiously. The older brother looked down at his suit, which now had a long tear running through it. This prompted an angry snort from Time Warner.
"Very well, then. You handle this situation, brother. I will be at the Carousel Boutique, getting my suit repaired. It's lucky you chose to do this now, while we are so close to a tailor," he said, no emotion whatsoever in his voice. He quickly turned around and walked calmly out of the house, leaving behind two shaken mares and a shivering stallion.
Lyra and Bon-Bon stared after Time Warner until he was out of sight. Once he was long gone and they were out of immediate danger, they turned their gazes to Prime. He was still staring at the spot his older brother had been standing, his legs trembling. Then the poor stallion swayed and fell to the floor, his body letting out a loud 'Thump' on impact. He had made no effort to correct himself. He had just left gravity take him to the ground.
The two mares gasped and galloped over to where he had fallen. When they searched his body for any signs of injury, they were relieved to find none. He was trembling all over, but completely unharmed. It was then that they noticed the tears that were streaming down his face.
"Prime! Prime, are you okay?" Lyra asked, lowering herself to the ground with him and pushing herself up against his body in an affectionate cuddle. He stopped crying slightly when he felt her, but his body retained the trembling that had overtaken it. Bon-Bon was busy closing and locking the door. After she had finished that mission, she quickly took off to the bedroom. She returned a moment later with a large, fluffy blanket that she carefully draped over Prime's shaking body. Lyra had also been caught under the blanket with him, their shared body heat warming them quickly.
"I thought...I thought he was really going to k-kill me that time..." Prime sobbed. The ears of the two roommates splayed back at these words. Just how bad was their relationship that the little brother actually feared for his life? And for Prime to have stood in front of the pony he feared so greatly just to protect them...
"Shh, it's okay, Prime. He's gone, it's okay..." Lyra cooed to him. Bon-Bon had paced around to the other side of the stallion and chose to lay down there, but on top of the blanket instead of under it. She gave the shivering stallion pitying glances every so often, but mostly kept her eyes trained on the door, in case Time Warner decided to come back. Prime slowly pushed himself against Lyra, finding comfort in her presence.
"He...he's been like that since...I just...I just want my brother back..." the stallion whispered painfully. Lyra wanted to ask what he meant by 'since', but she chose not to. Right now, Prime just needed somepony there to watch over him. It seemed like this had been an ongoing problem for possibly years, with nopony for him to go to for help. Even back when she had first met him, he had been reluctant to talk about his family. Was this why?
Just what had happened to these two to split them apart so much?
****
I was getting really fucking tired of waking up and wishing everything that had happened had been a nightmare. Not the whole dying or pony thing; I was already aware of that. I couldn't really deny my current situation when I had spent multiple days in this new world. Well, I guess it had been my world all along, I had just been unaware of it.
No, what I wished had been the nightmare was the entire interaction I had last night with Princess Luna. Or was it Sarah? I didn't fucking know anymore. All I knew was that when I woke up, it wasn't peacefully. My eyes shot open and I leapt up, frantically searching around for somewhere to hide. I didn't even know what I was hiding from, but I wanted to be invisible. The room I had been placed in was large but pretty much empty except for a bed and a few dressers. Without any other idea, I jumped off the bed and landed roughly on the crystal floor. I was sure I was making a ruckus, but I didn't care at that point. My body spun around on its own and flung itself to the ground, straight under the bed. It took a few seconds to squirm my way completely under, but I had managed. Now that my body was safe, my mind started to remind me of everything that had just happened.
I was just a character from a show brought to life with magic.
I was unstable, and freaking out too much could possibly make me blow up.
Sarah was actually an ungodly powerful alicorn princess.
She had told me everything while I was under the influence of a forceful calming spell so that I would accept everything easier.
She had gotten me to take her back after she left me, also while under said calming spell. Wasn't that eerily close to mind rape?
She had gotten pissed at me for kissing some ponies on their heads after I thought she didn't want me anymore.
She had punished me by feminizing me for a whole night. I had been trapped in my head, in a form that I didn't like.
And man, that forceful calming spell thing, that was shit. Who had been doing that? Oh, yeah, fucking Twilight. Why had she taken away my conscious consent like that...? I mean...I know they had to keep me from blowing up and all, but still. They had sprung so much information on me and forced me to just...be fine with it. This was all...fuck it. I felt like screaming, so I did.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Well, that felt good. But now I was faced with another problem: I was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. When did that start? I guess it had been a long time coming...I had tried my best to just accept everything and move on, but it just...mounted up after awhile. I tried to relax, but have you ever actually tried to relax? It's a fucking paradox. Jokes could only keep me running for so long before I broke down. Cuddles helped a bunch but now I was without any. My family would...
Oh.
They weren't even real.
Never were.
It was finally hitting me. Mom wasn't real. Dad was just an idea. Emily was created to be a part of my story. The only real thing I had ever known was Sarah, and even she was just a pony wearing a human outfit. Everything had been a lie. I probably shouldn't have even been here. Would it be better if I just went back to the head of the pony who thought me up?
As I continued my internal rant, I became vaguely aware of something odd. The bed I was hiding under was shaking slightly, the sheets being blown around. Even the air around it was acting weird. It was like those weird heat lines you see over things when the sun's out. This wasn't the strange thing, though.
I was seeing it from above. My vision...it...wasn't with me. It was like I was in third-person, looking down at my trembling body. As the bed picked up motion and my body shook harder, I felt like I was drifting farther away from it. The noise from the scene was becoming more and more muted. The light was starting to fade...or was it? It might have just been me. Oh, boy. Tunnel vision. I just hope nobody left any TVs around to swallow me. Heh...
The second weird thing started to happen. I could just barely hear a voice...it was distant, at first. But the farther away my vision drifted from my body, the clearer the voice became. It was...too familiar.
"I just hope he didn't know who I was...who knows what he would do to me? I killed him!"
No...it couldn't be. That voice...
Mom?
No, it's not, it can't...but...it was...
"I know I'll have to talk to him! But...not right now, okay?"
She sounded scared about something. What was happening? Did it involve me somehow? This wasn't making any sense! I was so sure Mom wasn't real...maybe...she...could she be real, too? Like Sarah? The voice was getting closer now.
"I know, Bon-Bon...but I just...can't..."
Bon-Bon? Who the fuck was Bon-Bon? I didn't fucking know, but I didn't care. If my mom was there, I wanted to be there with her! Please, just let me get a little bit closer...any moment...
"Oh sweet Celestia, Ryan!"
Oh, great. Another voice wanted me. What do you want now, other voice? This one was too far away to recognize, but-
"RYAN!"
HOLY FUCK!
With a flash of light, I was sucked away from the voice of my mom and pulled back to where I had been hiding. Goddamn it, that was Twilight's voice! What did she just do?! I had been so close...and- uh...what the shit? What happened to this room? I was just here a few moments ago, but in that time, it looked like a fire had broken out. The bed that my body was under was pretty much gone. Only a few burnt splinters were left scattered around. I was still looking down at myself, but the light that had pulled me away from Mom was still sucking me closer to my body. Oh, great. More magic taking control over me. Fucking perfect. Just what I needed.
With one more bright flash, my vision was clicked firmly back into my own body. It took a moment, but the pain hit.
OUCH.
My skin felt charred. My muscles felt like that had been torn apart and hastily pushed back together. My whole body felt sore...and naked. Wait, naked? Like, no clothes at all, bare-ass naked? ...Yup. Clothes were gone. Twilight, what did you do?!
The first breath I took after regaining my body was excruciating. My throat felt like no kind of liquid had ever passed through it, ever. Even spit. I quickly tried to gather some saliva to send down. Man, that hurt.
And then, Twilight hugs. She had clung to my prone body, and was sobbing her pretty little eyes out. I would have comforted her, but I was still trying to figure out just what the hell had taken place. Why did the room look burnt? Why had the bed exploded? Where were my clothes? Why had I been looking down at myself? And why could I hear...my mom?
"Ryan...I'm so sorry...I...you almost...Oh, buck...s-sorry..." she choked through her sobs. Yeah, no kidding, Purple. First you help Luna...Sarah...manipulate my mind, now you stole me from Mom!
"Wha...what...hap...pened...?" I groaned. My voice sounded like I been smoking all of the cigarettes. Like, every one ever made, I had smoked it. Even the ones that others had smoked. Twilight sniffled and clung to me tighter. Oh, god, did her body feel weird against my bare skin. The only parts of me to have touched her before that point were my face and hands. Now I could feel her everywhere.
"You...almost went off..." she said quietly. I almost went off? The hell does that-
Oh. Yeah. I'm an unstable bomb.
And I let myself have a freak out.
...
Well, at least I know Sarah was telling the truth about that shit. Now I could at least be prepared to take it more seriously. By the way the room looked, the explosion really would be monstrous. I hadn't even fully cooked and the room was trashed. I just hoped Twilight hadn't gotten hurt...yeah, I was still mad at her, but I didn't want to cause her actual physical pain. I was hoping for more of a stern talking-to. Speaking of which...talking. Need something to help with that before I spank the purple pony.
And no, that's not a fucking innuendo for anything.
"Wa...ter...would be nice..." I choked out. Twilight blinked at me for a moment before nodding and running off. I just rested there, taking slow, deep breaths. The pain was slowly receding and my muscles felt less stitched together. It was like...my body was settling back into itself. At this point, I was pretty sure that it was doing exactly that. I had almost went off. Twilight had stabilized me and fixed my body. And that voice...if Luna could be Sarah...was my mom also a pony? Faint memories entered my mind regarding the dream conversation I had last night.
"As it is, you should have already disappeared and the memories of you should have gone back to your storyteller." Sarah's voice echoed in my head. The implications of what had just happened hit me like a ton of bricks.
Holy shit, that was probably my storyteller.
If that was indeed my storyteller, my creator, she used her voice in her head to portray my mom. That...is really creepy. Just then, Twilight burst back into the room, a glass of water held in her magic aura. That wasn't all she brought, however. Following behind her were the other five ponies I had come to know as good friends. Well, this was embarrassing. I'm not even dressed for the occassion-HOLY FUDGE ON A STICK, I'M NUDE.
My hands shot down to cover the goods I could thankfully feel once more, my arms aching in protest. Memories of last night's female session popped back into my head and just me even more sour. I was so going to flip Sarah's shit over that. How would she feel if I magic'd her limbs away or something? Urgh...thoughts for later. Right now I had to keep myself from flashing a group of adorably cuddly ponies with my junk. Twilight ran up to my side and floated the glass close. She was actually pretty smart about it. The glass had a cute little bendy straw sticking out of it and everything.
Almost reminded me of...the hospital...with Emily...
I choked up a bit, a stray tear finding its way down my cheek. The other ponies had been rather nervous about getting closer to me, and all seemed to be blushing deeply. But when they saw me crying, they moved forward quickly. While I slurped greedily on the straw, Fluttershy started flying around frantically. What was her deal? Oh, maybe she was taking a look at my body to make sure I wasn't injured. She looked over sick animals or some shit, right? Yeah, she's...Oh my god, that's adorable. She's carrying a tiny little first-aid kit in her mouth! Aww! Unfortunately for her, I don't think there was anything in that little box that could fix me. Thanks for the thought, though, Flutters.
"Ryan, are you okay? What happened?" asked the mass of pink that had parked itself right in front of my face. The shock of the sudden invasion caused me to sputter and almost inhale the water I had been drinking, sparking a coughing fit. Pinkie Pie was once again lifted away from me with magic, but this time it was Rarity who had saved me. She was looking over me, her face stuck in horror. Oh, geez, my clothes. She had loved them so much, and she didn't even get a sample of that denim. I had burned those away by accident...sorry for making you sad, Rarity.
But apparently that wasn't the problem.
She leapt down and wrapped her soft white legs around my neck. When she pulled me in close, I could feel her shaking slightly. Oh, no...she was crying. Please, don't let the others...
They are. All of them except for Applejack. Even Pinkie was tearing up a bit when she saw the state I had been in. The room told the story of what had transpired during the last fifteen minutes or so. I'm sure they all heard it as well. I am so fucking sick of making things cry. Sure, I hurt. Sure, I was just on the updraft after an emotional outburst so extreme I almost detonated. Sure, it was still tingly where my dick had disappeared during my dream the night earlier. But I was still me.
"Guess I'm hotter than I thought I was," was my crack at the time. Yeah, it was weak. I could have come up with much better had I not been butt-naked on top of the smoldering remains of what used to be a bed. To my relief, however, it seemed to work. The ponies all stopped crying and looked at me like I had two heads. Actually, three heads. Number two was being hidden by my hands. Rainbow Dash was the first to recover. She had a hoof over her face, but couldn't hide her smirk.
"Dork," she chuckled. The others tried not to smirk along with her, but it was a losing battle. They soon began to chuckle, despite the tears that were running down their faces. I tried to laugh along, but my mood quickly soured once more. I just couldn't be as bubbly as I usually was...not with everything that had been happening. The cuddle that Rarity was giving me was certainly helping, though. Twilight noticed my mood and tried to cuddle me, too. I flinched away from her. Her hurt expression was painful for me to see, but I needed to get this off of my chest.
"I'm mad at you, Twilight," I said flatly. The Princess's eyes shot open, still red from crying. The other mares all gave me confused looks before turning to their friend.
"What's he talkin' bout, Twi? What'd ya do?" Applejack asked. Twilight's head shot between her friends and me multiple times, her mouth trying to choke out some words. Finally, after it was obvious she wasn't going to manage speech, I sighed and tried sitting up. Oh, yeah, I'm still naked. Rarity was now hanging off of me, refusing to let go. Déjà Vu.
"We'll talk about it...but, um...do you have something I can wear, first?" I asked. Another one of those 'Squee' sounds was building up near my chin. Below, Rarity's smile was widening to almost Pinkie Pie levels, her eyes filled with stars once more. Oh, yeah, almost forgot. Rarity was probably dying to make her favorite human some clothes.
Unfortunately for her, Twilight was faster. With a flash of purple light, Twilight disappeared. I blinked at the spot where she had been standing, trying to rid my vision of the imprint the bright light had left in my eyes.
Huh. Well, there goes Twil- oop, she's back. Aaand I'm blind again. Fuck!
Something soft and light dropped into my lap, right on top of my hands. After blinking away the stars in my vision, I was stunned to see a set of clothes very similar to the ones I burned away. The only different was the...logo...plastered...on...the...side...oh shit, why did they sell Ryan-brand underwear?!
"Um...Twilight...?" I asked slowly, still staring at the new pile of clothes. The white mare around my neck was apparently hissing at them. Not up to your standards, Rarity? Interesting.
"Yes...?" she replied. Her face was bright red and her hooves were scuffing the floor nervously. The other ponies around her were giving her looks that ranged from confused to suspicious.
"Where...did you get these? And why do you...well, own them?" I looked up at the blushing alicorn, whose gaze was now firmly locked onto the floor of the room.
"They're, uh...part of my...collection," she said, her last word fading away to nothing. It was quiet, but still audible. My body froze, as did every other pony in the room. Did we just hear what we thought we heard?
Holy crap, Twilight had a collection of me-stuff. She had a pair of Ryan-model underpants...what could she even do with these? I could see the hoodie she had been wearing when she summoned me; that was a pony hoodie, designed for ponies. The clothes she just gave me...they were tailored for me exclusively. Then a strange thought hit me. And howdy-boy-shit did it frighten me.
"Twilight...you don't own...um...a 'replica' of me, do you?" I asked hesitantly. Please say no, please say no, please say no! I don't think I would be able to cuddle with her again if I found out she had been 'cuddling' with me long before I truly existed...
"Nonononono!" she shot out, waving her hooves frantically in front of her. Oh, thank fucking Jeebus... I let out the breath I was holding, becoming suddenly aware of the laughter that was filling the room. Rainbow Dash, of course, was getting endless enjoyment out of the interaction we just had. I wouldn't laugh so hard, Dashie. After all, Twilight's not the one who's going to be wearing panties~
"Laugh it up, Dash! We'll be going to Rarity's soon anyway for your 'fitting.'" This shut her up instantly. Now her face was just as red, if not more so, than Twilight's. Rarity looked up at me, her head tilted.
"What was that, dear?" she inquired. I just smiled at her and pointed over at the cowering prismatic pegasus.
"Dash and I made a bet to see how many ponies I would make faint. I won. Loser had to wear a dress around town for a whole day," I explained happily. Poor Rainbow Dash had tried to sink lower and lower with every word. The grin that had been adorning my face spread to the white fashionista as her head swiveled around to view Dash's trembling form.
"Oh, is that correct? I have so many ideas I've just been dying to try out on you, Rainbow Dash~" she sang. I wasn't even the target of her teasing and even I was frightened by the way she said that. Did...did I just murder Dashie? From the way the pegasus was trying to scoot away from the rest of us, I think I did. Sorry, Dash!
"I'm okay to go, I think...I need some clothes, too. Would you mind making me some, Rarity?" I asked, patting the glamorous mane of the white mare that was still clinging to me. The 'Squee' started coming back again. To combat this, I gently placed my finger to her lips and shook my head. "After I put these clothes on. There's no way I'm walking outside, naked, when I know that some other ponies might own underwear modeled after me." Rarity stopped her squeaking and nodded, but a blush still managed to work its way onto her face. I gently pried her from around my neck and placed her down next to her friends, careful to keep the pile of clothing covering me at all times. She turned around and tried to hug me, but I stopped her.
"Hup-hup-hup, nope. Clothes, first. Cuddles, after." She pouted a bit at this, but a quick lift of my eyebrow sent her trotting to the door of the room. Her friends all followed her outside in order to give me some privacy; all except for one.
Twilight.
Good, I needed to talk to her anyway about the whole 'magic mind rape' thing she had done to me. That shit was not cool. She was just standing there, her eyes focused on something. It took me a moment to figure out she was staring at the pile of clothes on my lap, her eyes begging for the clothes to move just a little bit. Huh, guess she forgot to sneak a peek back when shit was going down. Her loss, I'm not giving her a show, especially after knowing that she owned a model of my usual outfit. Including the goddamn underwear. God, it bothered the hell out of me that they sold stuff like that.
A quick clearing of my throat got her attention. She blinked up at me, almost in a daze. When she saw my slightly stern expression, her eyes widened back open and she became her usual attentive self.
"Uh, yeah, I gotta change. Could you turn around for a sec?" I asked her, my hands pressing down on the clothes so that absolutely nothing could be visible. Twilight's eyes darted from side to side as she nodded. What was that about? When she turned around, though, I saw why. She had tried to stealthily float a small mirror up to face, aiming it right behind her...where I was sitting. Luckily, I hadn't moved yet so the only thing she saw was my unimpressed glare staring back at her.
She yipped and dropped the mirror, sending it to the ground where it smashed into dozens of glass shards. Wonderful. I don't even have shoes yet- oh, nevermind. She had a replica set of those, too. I sighed and waited until she was perfectly still before sliding the underwear on. After those, I took my time a bit more. Twilight was busy shuffling her hooves around.
"So...why are you mad at me...?" she asked. Oh, god, she sounded terrified. I almost wanted to run up and hug her to make her feel better, but this conversation had to happen. For the sake of my goddamn future sanity.
"Because you messed with my mind, Twi," I answered, trying to keep my voice emotionless. Inside, I was pretty goddamn angry about it, but I didn't truly think it was Twilight that was at fault. At least, not at too much fault. She flinched from where she stood. I guess she had expected it to be something involving last night.
"I'm sorry, Ryan!" she blurted out. "I was just trying to keep you safe...from yourself..." Okay, I didn't know what to feel anymore. She probably did save me from having an earlier freak-out. Now that I had seen the destructive power of what I could become, I couldn't entirely blame her.
"Twilight...did Luna make you do that?" I asked. The purple alicorn froze for a moment before slowly nodding. Just as I had expected. Sarah probably either forced or guilted the poor pony into using that forceful calm spell on me. A sigh escaped my lips as I slid my new hoodie on. The clothes were...similar, but different at the same time. The hoodie felt mostly the same, just a bit smaller than I was used to. The pants, however, felt way off. They looked close enough, but the fake denim was really weird. Almost felt like lounge pants. They were actually really comfy, but not jeans. The shoes were a size too small, but would work until Rarity could make me some.
"Aren't you a Princess, too? You don't have to let her shove you around, you know...do things your own way. Thanks for the thought, though. You might have kept me calm, but...just, fuck. I hate feeling like someone else, Twi..." I was losing track of my original irk at this point. Everything was just so jumbled and confusing...Twilight turned around to look at me, her eyes turning from guilt to concern. What? Was something on me?
"Is...something else wrong? You seem...down..." she contemplated. I just gave her a tired smirk and ran my fingers through my hair.
"Yeah, I'm finally accepting that I wasn't real until a couple days ago. I wasn't real, my family's still not real...and I'm not entirely convinced I'm real, even now," I told her. She tilted her head at that last part.
"What do you mean?" she asked. I just sighed and looked at the floor, trying to put words to my thoughts.
"I just...I was so sure everything was real before I came here. Who's to say that this isn't the same situation? What if...I...we're all just pieces in someone else's story? Again? I...I don't know anymore, Twilight...it's just really...really scary..." I was starting to shiver again. Twilight quickly trotted up to me and wrapped herself around my shivering form. Ahhh...that's nice...I didn't care if she messed up, she had the best of intentions, honestly. Sarah had probably intimidated her into doing it. I knew Sarah, she was assertive like that.
"Ryan...we all still cared about you before you came here. Even then, you were real to us." Huh, that saying again. I wonder if it actually applied more to my situation than I thought...these ponies, man. I wondered if these creatures ate, drank and shat love.
"Thanks, Twi...I'm sorry for scaring you with the whole explosion thing...and I forgive you for messing with my mind. Well, on the condition that if Luna tells you to do anything like that again, you tell her that Ryan said to stuff it." Twilight got a little laugh at this and nodded.
"What did she even do to you in your sleep? You were moaning...so much...she...Luna threatened to do the same to me if I let you wake up before morning." Oh, did she, now? Sarah, you're getting in some deep shit, here. We're definitely going to have a looong talk next time we see each other.
"She changed my gender," I told her with a grimace. Twilight blinked for a few moments before the largest blush I'd ever goddamn seen on any living creature spread across her cheeks. Whoa, she's turning purple. Oh, yeah. She was that color already. I guess she was imagining herself with a big ol' schlong between her legs for an entire night. Yeah, gender changing was messed up if you weren't consenting. I remember trying to enjoy it, but no. It was just traumatizing.
"C'mon, Twi. I think the others already left for Rarity's place. Guess everybody just has to see Dash get dressed up," I said, smiling down at the flustered princess. She smiled up at me and nodded. I stood up, once again towering above the little equine. Together, we walked out of the door and out of the castle.
Whoa.
This was the first time I had actually been out of the castle. The air here was so...fresh. And holy fuck, the colors. Seeing the town through a window from a distance was one thing, but actually being there...man. The environment was pretty much the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. The sun, the grass, the trees, the...many, many multi-color ponies walking around. Seeing a sea of ponies just going about their business in the daylight was truly a sight to behold. I tried making a list of all the colors I could spot. I kept going until somewhere around Macaroni before I got a color-induced headache and stopped.
"Wyan!" shouted an adorably familiar voice. A huge smile spread across my face. I spun around slowly, kneeling down to meet the tiny unicorn filly. Dinky hopped up into my arms, snuggling against my new hoodie. Just behind her, the pegasus mare from last night trotted up to me with a smile.
"I see you're doing better, Ryan!" she said. Aw, her voice was so bubbly! She just seemed like a happy pony all around. Her cutie mark was...bubbles. How amazingly suitable for her. I ran my fingers through Dinky's mane while smiling at the mare in front of me.
"Yes, ma'am! I didn't get your name last night," I told her. She just smiled again and held her hoof out.
"I'm Derpy!" she proudly stated, her one eye still locked on something way off to the side. I...I hope that wasn't actually her name. That was kind of dickish if that word held the same meaning here as it did on Earth. Oh, well. She doesn't seem too offended by it, so I guess it's fine. I quickly took her hoof in my hand and shook it firmly. Derpy beamed up at me and giggled. Adorable.
"I see my little muffin said hello already," Derpy said as she walked up and patted Dinky's back. I laughed a bit and held the little filly up. She started making the cutest little 'Weeee!' sounds. I was powerless against my new hat. I had to follow her command, so I placed Dinky upon my head and stood up.
"Whooooaaaa!" she exclaimed, looking around with an excited glint in her eyes. "You're so tall, Wyan!" Oh my god, can I be a dad, like, right now? I wanted a kid of my own to ride around on my head and tell me how tall I was. But...I guess that wasn't going to happen, being the only real human. No, nope. Not time for sad thoughts. We got a Dashie to embarrass! And with that, I resumed my walk towards Rarity's place. I didn't know where the fuck anything was, so I had to wait for Twilight and Derpy to walk ahead of me. They chatted a little bit about shit I didn't care about. I had something much more exciting: my own Dinky hat! I wore her proudly, marching through the streets of Ponyville like I owned the place.
"This is Wyan!" Dinky shouted at every pony we passed. It took all of my concentration to not burst out laughing every single time she said it. The looks on the faces of the ponies who hadn't seen me at the party were priceless. After a little while, we had a crowd of ponies following us. Well, mainly me. More than once, I had to stop to talk to some pony who had brought out some piece of merchandise from my show that they just had to show me. It was so cute; each one was like a kid who was proud of a new toy and had to show every passing stranger. Luckily, nothing I was shown was too creepy.
One little colt had brought me a pen with the name OtherWorld on it. Huh, I guess that was the name of the show. Kept forgetting it. Anyway, he didn't seem to know what the hell it was. I doubt any ponies could even use one, save for the unicorns. They were all thrilled when I clicked it open and started signing some of the gifts that they had shown me. Dinky had been sitting on my head the whole time, dictating which pony would get an autograph next. It was like I had my own little referee on my noggin. Poor Twilight and Derpy had to wait until the line went away before we could continue to Rarity's. I offered them a sheepish smile as compensation.
Even Dinky got to show her mother the autograph I had left on the side of her Ryan doll, which she had apparently wrapped around her neck like a necklace. Derpy just gave me a small hug before we continued on our way. She really did seem like an awesome mom.
This day started off rough, but after the crowd of ponies asking for my attention and signature, I had been feeling loads better. It lifted my spirits so much to make ponies smile...I had been making too many cry lately. I just hoped this helped make up for it somewhat. As long as I was around these sweet ponies, I felt more stable than I had since...I don't know, ever?
We finally managed to reach Rarity's place. Oh, yeah, the place looked like a carousel. That was probably where the white mare had gotten the idea to name it Carousel Boutique from. Makes sense to me. I picked up a protesting Dinky from my head and set her down on Derpy's back.
"No! I want to stay with you!" she whined. I just ran my hand through her mane one more time and gave her a friendly smile.
"Sorry, Dinks. Got some business in here and I'm pretty sure Dash doesn't want it getting around," I explained, more to Derpy than to Dinky. The mother mare got the hint and nodded, giving both Twilight and me a parting hug before setting off. I saw Dinky complaining the whole time, but she luckily didn't defy her parent. I looked after the two longingly...I wished I could have a family. I was really looking forward to having one at some point...and- Shit, I started doing it again. I gave my head a quick shake and follow Twilight inside-
-and promptly burst into laughter. Inside, Rarity was trying her hardest to pry Rainbow Dash away from the window she had been trying to escape out of. This shit was gold. I wished Twilight had created me with a phone or something, this scene begged to be preserved. But no such luck was had. I would just have to treasure it as it took place.
"NO! Let me go!" shouted Dash, her hooves barely wrapped around the window. Her blue wings were flapping so fast that I could barely see them. Rarity was using both her magic and her mouth in her attempt to pull her prismatic friend back into her clutches. I just strutted over to the fashionista.
"Yo, mind if I go first?" I asked her nonchalantly. This broke Rarity's concentration and she accidentally let go of Dash. Poor Rainbow was sent sailing into the wall at full speed, firmly planting herself into it.
"Oooh..." we all went at the same time. That looked like it fucking hurt. But what do I know? I launched myself into a crystal wall and cracked the damn thing. Cartoon physics, man. The blue pegasus slid down the wall in a comedic style. Woo, that's almost funny enough to laugh at. Which is probably why I had been busting a gut.
"BWAHAHAHAAAAAA!~" I sang in the song of my people. Pinkie must have fed off of laughter or something, because at my outburst, she started bouncing around the room at the speed of...laughs, I guess. Rarity cleared her throat from behind us, drawing our attention.
"Yes, well...step up on this platform, Mr. Burbank. Let momma take your measurements~" Oh my god. Now she had directed her insatiable lust for disturbing the hell out of things towards me.
"I...I need an adult...?" I choked. Rarity just gave the biggest shit-eating grin ever and moved closer with half-lidded eyes. She had armed herself with a tape-measure of death. I was doomed.
"Oh, Ryan, darling. I am an-" she was cut off by the jingle of the door opening.
All the ponies in the room turned to look at the doorway. A younger looking stallion stepped through, his eyes fixed forward. He had some kind of adorable pony business suit on, with a long rip through it. Yeesh. Looked like he got in some kind of scuffle. Rarity suddenly remembered that this building was her place of business and greeted him.
"Just take a seat, darling~ I'll be with you as soon as I can!" she said cheerily at the new customer. The stallion put on a small smile and looked up at Rarity, who was working right next to my body.
"Of course, Miss Rar..." he voice cut off when he saw me. His eyes grew wide and his pupils got cold...something about shriveled nuts. I don't know, I couldn't focus on jokes with the weird stallion staring at me like a piece of meat. Oh, please don't tell me he wanted my body for some personal human fetish or something.
Yep, there's the drool.
And...the hell? His horn was leaking. A bunch of weird currency symbols were spouting from his forehead like a geyser. Okay, that's now the weirdest shit I've seen since I got here. And I saw boobs sprout from my chest.
Was that what a bit looked like? Weird. Now the stallion was moving closer, his eyes shining and locked on me.
Please go away. Shoo. Bad male horsie.
"Exemplar," was all he said through his drooling lips.
...
I NEED AN ADULT!
Those of you who want some adventure, look up Warner Bros. on the wiki and see if you notice anything interesting.
For the rest of you, here's a fan song someone made for this story!
Thanks to Afro Chicken (FIM user ChasingThePurpleDragon) for making it!
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Megatron: Prime!
...this can't be good.
sure you don't have a replica of Ryan, Twilight... sure you don't...
Wow. Wow. This gun be good.
Well from the chapter title I was expecting these guys in pony form
But hey these stallions are fine too
One: Holy crap, that's a lot of words in 3 days.
Two: lol Comcast.
Three: Boot to the face time.
6821257
I wrote 5 in two days.
Oh this is going to end badly. Ten bucks says Time tries to claim some kind of ownership over Ryan.
Hey! Look at that. In real life Warner bros. HQ is in ... Burbank, ... California ...
I see what you did there lol
6821321
I put in a few jokes like that. I'm wondering who finds them first.
I have to give you credit in using having the Warner brothers as ponies being introduced instead of some simple oc created on the spot or some thought.
Also that ending was not unexpected but still surprising with how you handled it. I mean having magic money symbols leaking from a unicorn is rather odd although fitting.
And soon the lawsuits for ownership of the imaginary golem/bomb will begin.
We can see the stallion causing a scene that will make the Main Six react to his defense, or also the Town coming out to drive said ponies off only to come back with Lawyers though Twilight Sparkle IS Royalty. In Ryan's current state being the only living human, he could easily fall under a endangered sentient species act. Since Celestia has likely been very motherly over the millennia, Twilight could use a Royal Edict to grant Ryan blanket Protection as a citizen giving him time to do documents and/or tests to be done to prove he's sentient and sapient.
Heh...... Time Warner.....I see what you did there. Prime should have been named Ticket instead of Warner (just my opinion).
I want to play with Time I promise no one well find the body once I'm done. *a few dozen blades, spikes, hooks, and other items gathered around* It has been sooooooooooo long sense I had a toy to brrrrrrrrrake no one will miss him .
6821331 I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for more easter eggs, then. I really like stuff like that. BRING IT ON!
Oh sweet Jesus...
I think it's safe to say that Time Warner is officially thee most... disliked pony of this fic. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
6821271 6821394 I highly doubt that will be an issue. Time Warner is a violent psychopath who turns to extreme violence when he doesn't get his way and he just walked into a room with a freaking princess who isn't abut to let him get his way. The only realistic question here is whether he goes to prison for his impending assault(or worse) on a member of the royal family and at least three national heroes... or sets off Ryan and dies horribly along with the entire town.
6821522 Prime Time reference.
6821662 We presume his detonation would be far worse, with ponyville being at the base of Canterlot mountain and at a super charged alicorn level of strength. we could see the mountain being at a destabilizing decline with Canterlot too.
I have to say, you're simply a master of writing a character so easy to hate you're waiting for the karmic retribution to blow them up and shit on their remains. Too bad I don't think you meant for that response to this character.
God fucking dammit I want to choke the shit out of your Luna right now.
6821676 I was deliberately shooting for bare minimum range. He has a finite energy supply and he has been using it, subtract whatever he may expend prior to going nuclear and take into consideration that Twilight would at least try to contain it and there is no guarantee that it will reach Luna's predicted potential. But even best case would ensure the town was gone. Underselling it and making it clear that that is extremely optimistic lets the other party's mind draw up scenarios that will have more impact than anything you could say.
Ah, I should have pointed out those were best/worst case scenarios for Time. Not us or Equestria.
6821799 Well we know that Sparkle will only get stronger as she gets older as a Alicorn, she has a specialty in magic and wielded the same element type too. Celestia wields the sun and held that element too but some century her former student will be far stronger than herself. (personal assumptions/guesses aside.)
So, DC is married to Marvel? Lol
You know this concept isn't exactly new. Charecters that come to life are called fictionals. Watch the librarians for more details.
Wait wait wait.... Seriously? *Looks through comments thoroughly* Was I the only one who noticed the names?
Dream Catcher is Married to Marvel, or in other words DC is related to Marvel.
Also I don't know if this was intended but we have both Time Warner and Prime Warner. Together we have Prime Times.
This chapter made my day.
Edit - On second view I see that another has picked up on the Stan Lee comics reference. My bad!
Heh heh, you meta son of a bisquick.
6821784 If this is going where I think it's going, she's in for some hard lessons. Hopefully, she'll come out the other side appropriately chastened.
6822018 Time warner most hated interwebs ever and you made a pony version whyyyyyyyyyyy
Excellent! Ryan's getting mentally prepared to give Luna a proper "what the HELL?!?!?!" rant, & shenanigans are about to commence in the boutique. Superb!
Where's a riding crop when you need one?
6822216
I am guessing it is because if Time happens to screw up you get to see "Time Warner" get his ass kicked.
6821077 Starscream: Oh Prime~ Squirt Oh!
Bonus points if you know what fan animation that's from
6821662
He doesn't have to try and claim his current body, but prove in court he owns the intellectual rights to his "character", and the only way to return his property that was stolen is to neutralize the obviously volatile mana bomb that contains said character. This will at least give Lyra her memories back to continue with the show so he won't lose any more money with his planned resurrection.
6822354 That, has absolutely nothing to do with anything I said.
Did you hear that 'zooming' sound? That was everything I said zipping right over your head. Nothing you just said relates in anyway to my comment, except in how it shows you didn't read my comment. My comment which is all about how he isn't the kind of level headed smooth manipulator capable of doing what you just said. My comment that was talking about how he is a violent psychopath that resorts to extreme magical violence whenever he is challenged, or more accurately whenever he isn't immediately given whatever he wants. Lyra did not challenge him, but he was still about to attack her with extreme force because she couldn't give him what he wanted. Everything I said was about how he is too volatile to ever make it to a court room because he will do something stupid, violent, and treasonous right then and there.
6821662 Or more likely,
1) Prime tries to claim Ryan as his property.
2) Twilight says 'Princess no', which is normal 'no' times infinity plus one.
3) Prime flips his sh...oes and attacks Twilight with his electric horn of death.
4) Ryan's 'protect the ponies' thing activates and he jumps in front of her, absorbing the magic as he's basically made of the stuff and attacking him with a spell is roughly as useful as attacking a fire elemental with a fireball.
5) Ryan proceeds to use that energy to avoid exploding by stomping up to Prime, snapping his horn off and shoving it back in right next to the stick he currently has in the same place. The plot thickens, or at least needs an enema and a skilled proctologist.
6) ???
7) Profit.
6822018
I'm not sure if anyone picked up on it yet, but that's not all there is to the joke.
Where did Marvel go to work?
Also, DC Entertainment is owned by Warner Bros.
6822422
I'll be honest, I tend not to read rebuttals to a comment of mine beyond the first 2-3 sentences if it's a block of text, and never beyond the first paragraph if it's even longer. If your end point isn't the same as your beginning point then I'm no longer interested in debating the issue in an online comments section.
Consider that a failing of mine and lets move on.
6822539
Haha I wasn't able to see the semblance before but now I get it. Marvel left DC to go mess around at Disney.
...
I am loving the word count AND the frequent updates :3 keep it up I need more.
Must... resist... urge... Y'know what **** it.
6822429
cdn2.hubspot.net/hub/315483/file-567176249-jpg/objection.jpg?t=1452297094472
"I need an adult."
"I AM AN ADULT!!"
Classic.
6821331 IT IS NOW CANON!
I would make a joke about Lyra being Best Mom, but...
6823252 Of course. How could I be so forgetful. Thank you friend
I really hope Time doesn't try to legal his way into stealing Ryan...
Warner Bros headquarters is based in Burbank, California.
I can't believe that I was the first to find it.
I feel so special and fuzzy inside .
6824657
Actually, ChasingThePurpleDragon found it earlier in the comments.
6824675 ..................NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I felt so special......