Afraid Of My Shadow

by Deyeaz

Prologue: Part I - Home Again (Jace)

Afraid Of My Shadow

Written by CraimerX and ShadowWeaver

Prologue: Part I - Home Again (Jace)

On the right, the sun.
On the left, the moon.
Ahead,
The stars.

~Old Stalliongradish Poem

---

...Four years. Long time to keep a girl waiting for that day... The day you get married. It’s not his fault he’s a good fighter by nature, just an inconvenience is all... But sometimes I wish he never had gained Death’s trust. I wish he never had these ‘powers.’ I wish he was a normal human at times but... Where would the fun be if he was just ‘normal?’

Stalliongrad... Fucking Stalliongrad is where he went. That irradiated trap of a country! That’s where he went... Alone... Without any weapons... Sworn to his word that he was not going to use any sort of magic at all in his travels. He left with the clothes on his back, a backpack, and a book.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it was magic. When I said ‘no magic’ I didn’t really think of the book since I use it on a daily basis... What, do you think I read it? Ha! Joke’s on you! Cause it’s blank! Well, some of it is blank.

It’s a journal more or less. He told me that it was a way to communicate with him over those years. All those years of worry... Drama... Victory... Happiness... Sadness...

These past four years have been a roller coaster for my emotions. Half the time I didn’t know if he was lying just to make me feel better or because he was legitimately fine at certain points. The years haven’t been all that good to Wubsy either...

The little guy took it hard when he heard his father would be leaving for a long time.. I couldn’t get him to stop crying for the next three days after he left. He’s been sleeping with me almost every night after he left. He would always wake up with nightmares of something bad happening to his father and have to come running into the room for me...

Oh yeah, by the way, name’s Vinyl Scratch. Engaged to Equestria’s only human... Jason Romero.

~<-FRIENDSHIP EXPRESS, THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 27TH->~

My eyes slowly opened as the light from the Sun washed over my face. “Nnng... go away, Sun...” I pulled the covers over my head and closed my eyes again, trying to get back those precious moments of rest that I so needed. Five days of no sleep? Yeah, not good for the head.

I let out a deep breath and slowly let the blackness of sleep take over my body... But not for long.

“Wake up, lenivyĭ (lazy)!” I let out an unsatisfied groan as the light washed over my body once again and my eyes opened once more to see a smiling beige unicorn in my face. “Well, he is alive! I thought all that radiation was getting to you!”

“Oh, ha-ha, Paskov. Very funny. Why did you wake me up now, anyway? It’s not even noon!” I rubbed my green eyes and tried to get the sleep out of them. My hair, now long and disheveled, was promptly flattened with a few quick rubs from my hands.

“That’s not of importance, Jace,” Paskov told me. I got up and stretched, my popping of my joints sounding like music to my ears. Once finished with this process, I sat up in my bed and stifled a massive yawn coming my way. “What’s important is that... we’re almost home!”

Those words snapped me out of my sleep-induced trance. My eyes shot open, and I stood upright in an instant. I walked over to the window across from me and, sure enough, I see the great city of Canterlot, capital of Equestria.

We are almost home.

I had to tell Vinyl the news. I rummaged into my backpack for something of the utmost importance. After a few seconds, I pulled out a leather bound book with the name Jason Romero on the front. I opened it and flipped through the many pages I had scrawled through during my time as a S.T.A.L.K.E.R. in Stalliongrad.

Flipping through the pages, I stumbled upon many entries that me and Vinyl had wrote back and forth. One in particular standing out. I remember that day well, actually... Not a fun one to be honest.

~FLASHBACK~

“Jace! JACE! Stop writing in your damn book and get over here to help me!!” I looked over at Paskov, who was holding his pistol with his telekinetic grip. I wrote a little last bit into the book before closing it and setting it down next to me. I reached for the sniper that was laying on the ground and checked the bolt to see if it was loaded.

“Draw their fire!” I yelled over the gunfire coming from the plains. Currently, we were staked out in a house near an Anomalies area. We heard it was infested with zomponies and we had to go here to take them out.

That was my main goal in the Zone: to thin the herd from the Insanity incident all those years ago. He had his Shadowlings possess many zomponies that were located here in the Zone, and being the fighter that I am, I volunteered to go in and take out as many as I could in a four-year time period.

But as of now, I find myself staring down my sniper scope aimed directly at a Monolith soldier’s head. I pushed out anything else in the area that would mess up my shot: sounds, my heartbeat, shaking of objects and the like. I controlled my breathing and just like all those years ago, everything slowed down as my adrenaline kicked in.

“Ten seconds flat...” I smirked as my finger held down the trigger, the attachments I had made to my sniper working like a charm as I felt barely any recoil and I smiled wickedly when I heard the sound of a machine gun going off near me. That machine gun, was my sniper. A fully automatic recoil reduced Dragunov sniper that was modified to shoot .50 caliber rounds.

Now, I know fully auto seems a bit strange, but it works for me. My reason being is that when I have my adrenaline coursing through my body, I’m a dead eye shot. I can move over to the next target and pop a hole in his head before he can say, ‘retreat.’

As I was mowing down the Monolith in the area, Paskov was watching behind us so he could take care of any soldiers that were cheeky enough to come and try to flank us in the middle of our rampage. At this point, I would’ve moved up and used my pistol to take care of any other stragglers, but we were in the middle of an Anomalies area. No way am I getting my leg eaten by acid!

The gunfire didn’t last more than nine to ten seconds at the most. I stopped after the final bullet was deeply embedded in the head of the last soldier. Even when these bullets didn’t hit the head, they would still either take off an arm or leg at the most. It’s hilarious when I hit them right in the Cutie Marks; they start dragging their ass on the ground like a dog because of their legs being rendered useless.

Just for you math types, Bullet + Cutie Mark = Out the other Cutie Mark.

Did I mention that I special ordered these bullets? No? Well, I do. They’re a special FMJ round that is supposed to go through armor and fully destroy the area that they go into. When coming out, a hole the size of a softball in torn into them. Imagine a hole like a golfball in one side of the head, then you go over to the other side and seeing a softball sized hole. Yeah, these things are powerful.

I stopped firing when I saw the last body fall and blew on the end of the gun to cool it down. “I helped. Now... If you’ll excuse me, I have writing to get back too.” I threw the sniper to the side and walked back to where I had been sitting and pulled the book back into my lap. I got my quill out and flipped through the pages again to read over the conversation once more:

Jace, what’s going on? Are you alright?

Yeah, I’m getting somewhat pissed off though...

Why?

These damn zombies aren’t thinning out! I’ve been here for two years now an-...

...Jace? Jace are you alright?

Shit, hold on. I need to take care of something.

Ummm, alright then...

Jace? Honey, I’m getting worried. Are you alright?

JACE?!

Quickly I started to write as I started to see more words appear on the page.

Honey! Honey! I’m fine!

Oh, thank Celestia! I thought you got hurt or something...

Heh, nope but I did hurt others...

That’s what I like to hear! Give ‘em hell, babe!

~END OF FLASHBACK~

I flipped past the entries and got to the second to last page in the journal. I grabbed the quill on the bedside desk next to me and started to write in the book.

Honey? Vinyl, are you awake, dear?

I set the quill down on the table next to me again, rubbing my eyes once again to get more of the sleep out. I set the open book on the bed and looked over at the other side of it, seeing it thoroughly messed up. “Uhh, Paskov... Did you sleep with me last night?”

“Yeah, I did. You got a problem with that? Not like I would rape you or anything.” Point taken. I shuddered at Paskov’s words.

“Gross....”

“The one thing I will say though is that you’re really cuddly... I can see why Vinyl misses you~” I blushed lightly and it only fueled the fire for Paskov. “Oh sorry, too much info?~”

“Oh, shut it. I’m in no mood for ridicule this morn-” I found myself being cut off by a loud rumbling coming from stomach. I looked down at my belly and clutched it lightly. “Erm, is there any breakfast?” Paskov chuckled lightly and nodded.

“There is. Just go to the third cart up and you can get some food. Better than the stale bread we had to eat on a daily basis, I’ll tell you that much.” At this point, dirt would be better than what I had to eat on a daily basis. The one thing that kept me going in the Zone... was MEAT. They had MEAT! Not processed, this was the stuff right from the animal! If it wasn’t all messed up from the radiation in the area, I’d gladly eat it! It was the first meat I’d eaten in a good four years!

Oh, but it was a taste that I’ll savor forever. Maybe I should ask Fluttershy if she can get some of the dead animals she gets and have me cook them up. But now, it’s time for some waffles and strawberries. Oh Celestia, fresh food. It’s going to be a thing that I will savor for the rest of my life after Stalliongrad.

Once me and Paskov finish wolfing down our breakfasts, we eagerly wait for Canterlot to roll in, our anticipation reaching a boiling point. “Wait, we’re going to be wanted by the Princesses, won’t we? Aww, buck.” My eagerness faded as the realization sunk in that we were more than likely going to have to see them to tell the tales of the Zone. “Fan-freaking-tastic.”

“Dude, it could be worse,” Paskov said with a slight chuckle. “Hell, this train could be hijacked or we could all crash and die.”

“Eh... true.” Paskov DID have a point. The seconds crawled by at the slowest of rates. But at long last, we finally reached Canterlot Castle, right when the morning sun was almost at the peak of its orbit.

Oh, and yes: this planet doesn’t revolve around the sun: it’s vice versa.

But I digress.

When the train made a complete stop at the station in Canterlot, me and Paskov get off of it. As we make our way to the Castle, most of the ponies recognize us and throw us a handful of cheers and hurrahs. The snooty ponies?

“Out of my way, rapscallion!”

Not so much.

Once the stallion that insulted me has passed, I turned around and gave him double middle fingers.

...HAHAH! THE “SCREW YOU”S HAVE BEEN DOUBLED!

…I went off on a tangent again, didn’t I?

Anyways, aside from the occasional rich jerk bags that live here, the way to Canterlot Castle wasn’t all that bad. When we finally reach the castle, the two Royal Guards that flank the doors of the Castle crossed their spears in an “X” formation, barring us from entering.

“State your business!” The one on the right said.

“I am Jace Romero and my companion at my side is Paskov,” I began. “The Princesses have requested an audience with us once we return from the Zone in Stalliongrad.”

“Wait... you’re a S.T.A.L.K.E.R.?” The one on the left asked. I resisted the urge to facepalm at his stupidity.

“No, I’m a goddamn girl scout selling cookies...OF COURSE I’M A FUCKING S.T.A.L.K.E.R.!” The two Guards were taken by surprise by my outcry, so they relinquished their spears from their crossed formation.

“Sorry... go right ahead, you two,” they said in unison. They used their Unicorn magic to open the gates for us, and we gladly stepped inside.

“Hey! Jace!” A familiar voice called. Me and Paskov both turned around to see Shining Armor and his wife Princess Cadance walking over to me, the latter with a sky blue filly baby with a white mane and tail on her back. “How’s it going?”

“Hey, Shining. Hi, Cadance,” I greeted. “It’s good, we just got back to the Zone, and we were going to tell the Princesses about it.” I spotted the filly and smiled. “Is this your kid?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm,” Cadance answered. “Her name is Gold Heart.”

“Awww.... she’s so cute...” I commented. I reached in to tickle her chin. The foal smiled and started giggling at the gesture.

Like the old meme goes, my heart exploded twice.

“I see you let yourself go there, Jace.” Shining chuckled lightly as he pointed out the goatee adorned on my face. “What, they not have anything to shave with?”

I chuckled lightly and rubbed my beard. “Nah, I just decided to grow it out. I was experimenting because when I first came here, the goatee I had originally just went away! It was really weird... But I ended up growing it out again. Took me a good two years to fully grow it out.”

Shining nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I want one as well but it takes a while for ponies to grow facial hair. Looks good on you, though! Adventurous and rugged!”

“That’s what I was in Stalliongrad! Don’t worry, I left everything that I used back in Stalliongrad. My armor, weapons, everything. I just brought back my belongings I originally came there in.” He turned to show the backpack slung over his shoulder. “The clothes on my back, a backpack, and my journal.”

“Ah, I see. Well, that’s very good to hear! Let’s hope you don’t have to resort back to the weapon you used all those years ago...” Oh, man. Eclipse. You know when you have to give up a pet because you’re moving away or just can’t afford to take care of it anymore? That’s how it felt when I had to give up Eclipse to Zeke while I was on my tour in Stalliongrad.

“Y-Yeah... Let’s hope I don’t have to use him again...” Shining raised a brow at my words.

“Him? Jace, it’s a weapon, not a living being.”

I chuckled lightly. “There are a lot of things you wouldn’t understand about Eclipse, Shining. Maybe one day I’ll tell you.” I smiled warmly and looked to Paskov. “C’mon Kov, we gotta get to the princesses.” I looked back at Shining and Cadence. “I’ll be sticking around for a while, so come and visit sometime! We’re always welcoming guests!”

“Will do!” Shining turned tail and continued his walk to the training grounds with Cadence and Gold Heart in tow. I watched as the couple walked away and smiling lightly.

“Good to see those two are happy together...” We set off to the throne room once again and Paskov couldn’t stop looking around.

“This place is so BIG! I’ve heard stories about the castle but... I never knew it was like this.” I chuckled as Paskov’s eyes went wide as we rounded the corner to the throne room. The doors were gigantic. They were almost as tall as the castle itself, as thick as a large log, and the width took up the entire hall we were standing in.

“Ohhh, yeah. This place is pretty amazing.” We approached the throne room doors to be stopped by another two guards.

“State your business.”

“Jason Romero, Paskov Lennit.” The guards looked at each other with amazement in their eyes.

“Jason Romero? THE Jason Romero?!”

“How many humans do you see going around Equestria, bub? Yes, I’m THE Jason Romero.” I saw the look in their eyes. I sighed and dug in my bag to get my pen out. “I know what you’re going to ask, just hand over the paper.” The guard on the right let out a squee as he magicked a piece of paper into my face. Yes. A Royal Guard squee’d because he saw me... Now I’ve seen everything.

I signed the paper and handed it back to the guard who let out a squeal of enjoyment. “Alright, fanstallion, open the doors.”

“O-Of course Mr. Romero!” The stallions both encased the doors in their blue auras and opened them to reveal the grand throne room. I walked past the two as the doors started to open into the room and I heard Paskov gasp as Celestia came into view sitting atop her throne.

“Jason! What a pleasant surprise! How was your time in Stalliongrad?” Celestia smiled warmly at me.

“Eh, I wanna say easy... But being away for four years isn’t exactly easy when you have a marefriend and a foal to get back to.” I looked over at Paskov, who was wide eyed and slack jawed. “Oh yes, this is Paskov the one who originally warned you about the zompony infestation in the Zone.”

“Ah, so you’re the great Paskov I’ve heard about!”

Paskov’s eyes got wider and his jaw went down further. “G-Great?”

“Yes! You’re fabled in Stalliongrad as one of the best S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S. stationed in the Zone! You’ve cleared out many of the abominations the radiation in that area has made, and for that, I thank you for your services.”

“Princess Celestia... Thanked me...” Paskov looked down and then smiled wide at this. He cleared his throat and stood at attention. “It was my pleasure, Princess, anything for Equestria.”

Celestia smiled and floated down to the two of us. “Well, in that case, if you’re done serving time in the Zone, I’d like to appoint you as one of my elite guards.” I swear I heard that pony let off a squee at this.

“I get to join the ranks of your elites?! B-But I’m just a simple unicorn, ma’am! I’m trained to fight with weapons and the like! Can’t really use magic against mutants, since it’s basically a bath for them!” Celestia chuckled lightly.

“So I see,” she said. “Well, I wish you safe travels, Jason. Paskov?” The unicorn in question looked in Celestia’s direction. “Come along with me, please... we need to get you some armor....”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEE~!” Paskov squealed. I simply chuckled at my friend’s excitement.

“The Great and Noble Paskov, everypony!” I mocked, looking around the throne room at the invisible audience.

“Oh, ha-ha,” Paskov said sardonically. He held out a hoof to me. “So long, Jace. I enjoyed working with you in Stalliongrad, and I can only hope that you have safe travels back to Ponyville.”

“Thanks, Paskov,” I said, shaking his hoof with my hand for what would be the last time. “And I can honestly hope that you and I can cross paths in the future.” Paskov nodded, and with that, he followed Celestia to a room on the left of the Royal Palace Foyer, leaving me in my lonesome.

I turned around and jogged back to the Friendship Express, which, luckily, had not yet departed. I hopped back onto the train and made my way back to the suite train cart, settling down on my bed again as sleep came over me once more.

---

“Sir? Sir. Wake up...” I felt something shake me in my sleep and I let out a loud groan. “Sir, please wake up. Your ticket was on top priority and we need to make sure you get off here...” I cracked my eyes open to see the train conductor standing next to the bed. He wore a dark blue suit and wore black boots on his front and back hooves. He wore a blue train conductor hat and had a thick curly blue moustache. His eyes were a piercing blue that just stared into my eyes as I opened them fully. “Please, sir, you need to leave now. This is your stop.” His voice was deep and gravelly and had a slight Stalliongradish accent thrown in.

I sat up in the bed, looking around the cart and then to the conductor. I waved my hand at him, and he got the message right away, walking out of my cart. I stretched out and rolled off the bed, walking to the trench coat hanging on the coat rack near the entrance of the cart. I put it on and grabbed the fedora that was on one of the spikes and donned it. I pushed some of my hair to the sides of my head and brushed my hand over my goatee to straighten out the whiskers.

I looked myself over in a mirror and smiled to myself. Black tux pinstriped with thin red stripes with matching black pants, a pair of black dress shoes, red undershirt, black silk tie, black trench coat, and black trilby fedora with the same red pinstripes as the tuxedo and pants.

Needless to say, I looked damn fine.

I backed away from the mirror to get a better look at myself, then blinked as my image got fuzzy and I couldn’t quite see myself that well. I rubbed my eyes and opened them again, blinking rapidly. Again, no change in my vision. “Well fuck, seems staring at those Emissions weren’t the best choice...” I groaned lightly and made a mental note of going to see Rarity afterwards and see if she can whip up a pair of glasses for me.

I walked back to my bed and grabbed the journal, flipping to the last page and seeing the response I got from Vinyl;

Yup! I’m up. It’s about noon for me right now, and I’m just cooking food for Wubsy. How’s your day going so far?

I smiled and grabbed the quill on the desk, dipping it and ink and beginning to write;

Going great! I got a little surprise for you though, just wait till you see it! It’s a big one!

I chuckled lightly, hoping that the gears in her head won’t try and process that information too quickly.

Grabbing my bag, I put the journal inside it and slung it around my shoulder, turning to the door and I ook a deep breath.

Well, this is it. Time to go see everypony again! I smiled as I made my way to the door and slid it open, making the trek to the top cart. Apparently, I held up the train for five minutes. “Very sorry, sir! I’ll be getting out of your mane now.” I tipped my hat lightly to the conductor and he chuckled.

“Don’t think anything of it, Mr. Romero. I would’ve waited hours for you to awake if needed. But it says here from the princess that you have to be dropped off at Ponyville at all costs, no exceptions!”

“I can see why. Doesn’t want me getting into any trouble if I go off course.” I turned to the train entrance then stopped, looking back. “Spaseebo balshoye (thank you very much.)” The conductor smiled warmly.

“Nezachto (Don’t mention it)!”

Hearing the response I was looking for, I put my hand on the door handle and opened it up to see the town of Ponyville in front of me. I smiled wide and took a step out into the cold air, feeling the rays of Celestia’s Sun hit my face. My smile grew when I saw ponies all around doing their jobs and going about their business.

‘I’m home...’ I thought to myself, walking down the cobblestone path of the train station. ‘I’m really ho-’

“OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH!!! IT’S REALLY YOU! YOU’RE REALLY BACK!” I was assaulted by Pinkie Pie as soon as I stepped foot into the town’s limits. “OHMIGOSH YOU’RE BACK! I GOTTA TELL EVERYPONY THAT YOU’RE HERE AND PLAN A BIG PARTY, AND TELL VINYL THAT YOU’RE HOME, AND WE’LL ALL HAVE FUN, AND YOU’LL BE TOGETHER AGAI-” I stopped her incessant rambling with my hand clamping onto her mouth.

“Pinkie! It’s good to see you again but, please speak of my return to nopony, and I mean NOPONY. I want to keep myself a secret from the girls and Vinyl... Can you please do that for me? I want to surprise them...” I pulled my hand away from her mouth and she smiled at me.

“Of course I will, Jacey wacey! You can count on me to keep this whole thing a secret!” She smiled wide and I patted her puffy mane.

“Good girl! I knew I could trust you! How about, I go find Vinyl, and when you see me come back into town with her, you round up the girls telling them that you have a surprise for them! Say exactly that, ‘C’mon! I have a surprise for you all!’ Think you can do that?” The pink mare nodded vigorously. “Good! Hop to it!”

“Okie Dokey Lokey!” She literally started hopping down the dirt road again, leaving me alone along the outskirts of Ponyville. I brushed off my coat from the hug and continued my trek into the main town square.

I got many ponies welcoming me back to the town as I made my way through, even got myself a hug from Derpy!

Let me tell you, this is great! I got ponies welcoming me back, I’m getting hugs, and everything is dandy! Glad to see that I left this place looking like I left it! Aside from some burned down houses I’ve seen, nothing was too bad. I saw a new building in town square that I never saw before, and I saw ponies working on building an apartment complex!

Aside from my tangents, I had traversed almost all of Ponyville and I saw my goal right in front of me, the mansion.

It looked exactly how I left it. It’s scary to think this place never changed in the four years I’ve been gone.

I made my way up the steps and knocked on the door a few times. I leaned against a post on the porch and heard the soft taps of hooves walking up to the door. “Coming!,” came the response from inside.

I watched as the door slowly opened and a mare with a grey coat and charcoal black mane turn and stare right at me.

Octavia’s eyes went wide and her jaw went slack as she laid eyes on me. I smiled lightly and waved at her. She cautiously walked out the door and closed it behind her, just staring at me. “I-Is it really you?”

“As me as I’ll ever be, Tavi...” I smiled wide and held out my arms, still propped against the post. “Come and feel for yourself!”

She was hesitant at first, but then eventually ran full speed at me in a big hug. She buried her face into my belly and cried tears of joy as I wrapped my arms around her. “Shhh, it’s alright, Tavi...”

“Octavia? Who’re you talking too? Who’s outsi-...” The door was pushed open again and a white mare with electric blue mane went wide eyed. She stared, wide-eyed, as Octavia dropped down from the hug and trotted back into the house, smiling and crying all the way.

I stood there, looking down at her. “Surprise...” I smiled wide and got on one knee as I saw her taking tentative steps towards me. When I got down on my knee, she sprinted full trot at me and wrapped her hooves around my neck, hugging me hard. I could feel the wetness of her tears on the crook of my neck as she hugged me.

I rubbed her back and kissed on her cheek, trying to calm her down. “Vinyl... Shhh, it’s alright honey. Please, calm do-HMM!” I felt her lips pressed onto mine as and cut me off mid sentence and drew me into a passionate kiss. I pulled from her afterwards, and went back to hugging her.

“You’re back... I can’t believe you’re back...Four years Jason, four years!”

“I know, I know baby... But I’m home now, and I’m here to stay. That’s a fact.” There it is. The smile I’ve been waiting to see for four years.

She kissed me lightly again before moving from my embrace. “C’mon, I think your son would like to see you...” My son. My four year old son. I finally get to see him after all these years.

I just hope he remembers his Daddy...

Comments

[the other sans]

I GOTTA TELL EVERYONE
I got people welcoming me back
and I saw people working

1. Everypony.
2. Ponies.
3. Ponies.

Lol, I feel like those mistakes were spur of the moment