Tough Love: Luna vs. Celestia
Part 12: Blaze and Battle
Luna could not believe her pure, dumb luck. Her original plan was to corrupt her sister, turn all her subjects against her, then fight her into the ground until she surrendered. Afterward, to seal her forcefully in the sun or moon, whichever she felt like at the time. Then, she learned of the Elements of Harmony. Perhaps if she corrupted her sister enough the Elements would take care of her? Then, oh-hoh-hoh, then—Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle was by far the most satisfying of the three options to destroy her sister’s good name. All it took was careful planning, subtle string-pulling, and a bit genuine suffering. And Luna knew how to suffer. She’d suffered the madness of the dark and icy cold of space for a thousand years. She would never, never forgive Celestia for that. Never.
Imagine the quietest room you can. Alone in that room, forever. Your mind would begin to play tricks on you past the twenty-minute mark, trying to find something to hear. A university somewhere in Manehattan had devised such a room and promised a huge sum of bits to anypony that could stay in it to be studied for an hour. Nopony had ever lasted for more than fourty-seven minutes. Luna had endured the loneliness, the silence, for a thousand years. A thousand years to sit and brood and plan and hate.
While Nightmare Moon’s assault was the first and most forward plan “A”, plan “B” was far more subtle and brilliant. When one had a thousand years to sit and think, one’s plans tended to be brilliant and almost full-proof. Each tiny, little detail was perfect. The training, the sweet-talking, the moon dust, the self-righteous coaching—all of it. All of it meant to coach Celestia into thinking without inhibitions. When the Princess of the Sun started thinking only of herself and not of her subjects all the time, Luna’s plan would be complete. Now, it was.
Luna lay on her side, pretending to be weak and beaten. A little blood seeped from her nose, but she only felt it as a tingle. Really, when alicorn fought alicorn it would take more than a few back-hoof’d hits to take her down. But she wasn’t here to stand up to her sister directly. She had enough puppets gathered to her cause to do it for her. Enough ponies that thought they were protecting her, and Equestria, from Celestia. It was positively delicious. No. Don’t smile, she coached herself. There would be plenty of time to giggle in darkness later. For now, the curtain was coming down on her elder sister and things had to go perfectly. “Twilight! You must stop her!” Luna called from where she lay, nursing her bloodied nose.
Celestia turned to look from Luna, back to Twilight, then over to Luna again. Her mouth opened in wild realization. “Luna what have you done?! The seal!” The white alicorn shuddered with anger, and the throne room vibrated as the place began to grow saturated with magic. Doomed Lunar Stallions started crawling for the doors, holding their bloodied ears and trying to get their fellows to safety. “You turned her against me!”
“You have done that yourself, sister!” Luna put up a hoof as though to stave off Celestia from hitting her again. “You have done it yourself!”
Twilight Sparkle left black, ashy marks in the wake of her hoof steps as she made her way into the room. The furious, world-ending glare on her face made her ruby eyes glitter with a terrible hatred. Her fiery mane and tail licked back and forth, the very air around her wriggling with magic and heat. The ponies that littered the floor scrambled weakly to try and get away from her. She waited very, very patiently for them to open a path across the floor to her. Twilight looked around at all the suffering ponies and devastation. She turned to look at her friends, also writhing on the floor and deafened by the power of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Celestia’s voice. She turned to face her former mentor, cheeks vibrating because she was clenching her teeth so hard. “Surrender.” The pearly-white mare said. Her voice was many voices, both male and female. She almost sounded demonic. But no, Celestia knew better. Twilight had shown off her true potential that day at the entrance exam, many years ago. Wild, uncontrollable solar magic that a mortal pony like her could never truly grasp. Culling the torrent to a drip had been an act of mercy at the time, but… but now… this new incarnation of Twilight, this fiery and terrible creature, it looked much like what it truly was. A burning ball of fire and magic that was without end. Had growing up with chains all around her made Twilight into some sort of super pony? “Surrender!” the mare demanded again, standing directly across from her.
“This is my kingdom, Twilight Sparkle.” The white alicorn said. “If I must punish you to maintain control, along with everypony else here--” Celestia began to glow and morph in shape and stature. “Then I will!” Golden platemail began to erupt into existence all over her body. A battle regalia! She would not underestimate her most faithful student in the new form she’d taken. Even an alicorn like Celestia would fear harm with all the power of a star pointed at her.
“Duh! Duhhh!” One of the Lunar Stallions laying in the crowd said, pointing. “Dahyyy!” He shook his closest comrade, remembering that all of them were essentially deaf at this point. The pony next to him looked up, then went as white as a sheet. “Dahyyymare Suhhhn!” shouted the deaf pony, pointing with wide eyes and tiny pupils. “Dahhhyymare Suhhhn!” Princess Luna’s prophecy had come to pass. Princess Celestia had morphed into a war-pony form, complete with golden armor. Daymare Sun.
“Surrender, Princess!” said the fiery Twilight Sparkle in many voices, all of them in a righteous arcane fury. “We can end this without anypony else getting hurt!”
“Sometimes, my most faithful student,” Celestia’s horn lengthened into a golden, jagged, glittering shape. “Words are not enough to reach everypony. They must learn in other ways. You are a scholar, I’m sure you can apprieciate that.” Her eyes, once lavender, once golden, were now a terrifying neon pink. Her pupils slitted out into a serpentine, draconic shape.
Luna looked on in very real awe. This was it. This was it! It was finally happening! Lunar magic could not compete with solar magic, but what would happen with two stars collided? The Princess of the Sun, and a solar pony, magic incarnate?! Pressing herself back a bit to make room for the battle to come, Luna found herself being pushed down and back. She looked around in a brief panick, but found her Lunar Stallions were doing their best to bear her away from danger. She smiled despite herself. Such handsome, useful little pawns. She soon found herself among Twilight’s friends, pressed to the tiles to hide. Lighting her horn, she leaned over the closest one and began to mend her ears. Then the next, then the next. It took a lot of effort and magic to restore their eardrums, as well as cure the blood and restore their sense of balance. After doing it five times, Luna was winded. Healing magic had been one of the first things she’d learned, but sensitive things like eardrums and such took serious effort. “Friends, we must remain here. Twilight is Sparkle is--!”
Crck-BOOM!
It was as though a thunderstorm had sent a bolt of lightning into the room, centered on Celestia and Twilight. A sphere of red, molten fire coalesced around them and the Lunar Stallions still strewn about the floor began to writhe and try to crawl away faster. “Where in tarnation is the solar guarrrd?!” Applejack roared over the screaming flames. “We need’a evacuate everypony outta here!”
“Agreed!” shouted Luna, igniting her horn. She pulled a random Lunar Stallion from the pile, wrenching him out through the archway. “You must bear them away! Get out into the hall! I can withstand the heat for longer than thou!” Luna stood bravely, her mane whipping around as bursts of heat and light began to go this way and that in the room. When she squinted, she saw the dancing figures of Celestia and Twilight in the sphere of fire. They were horn-fighting. “Hurry!” Luna shouted, opening her wings to act like a shield for them.
All five mares crawled, bellies pressed to the floor for safety, out into the hall and around the corner. Luna began to work as quickly as she could, hefting another Lunar Stallion off the floor and levitating the poor soul out into the hall. Rainbow Dash stepped up, thrusting herself under him and bearing his limp body away from the terrible scene. Luna pulled another, then another. One by one she tried to evacuate as many of her soldiers as she could, sweating profusely from the heat and effort of it all.
Suddenly, the solar guard arrived in great numbers, filling the doorway with expressions of shock and horror. “You must aid us!” Luna roared over the bouncing bolts of magic. “We have injured! Hurry!”
“You heard the Princess!” shouted one of them. “Let’s go!” As one they boiled into the room, braving the heat and thrusting off their helmets to keep from burning their heads. Strong solar ponies bore away limp and bleeding lunar ones, rushing them away from the danger. Twilight’s friends fell to directing traffic, hurrying them all in a comprehensive direction with large gestures and shouting.
Luna turned and looked back into the sphere of fire, for there was a grand battle being fought within. “I! Hate! You!” Twilight roared, rearing up and whinnying wildly. “I loved you! I did everything you ever asked of me and more!” Her warped many-voice would haunt anypony that heard it. Her horn clashed with Celestia’s, who parried and struck her in the chest. Twilight shrieked, skidding back a little and then leaping to jab the white alicorn’s knee. Consumed in a ball of fire and solar magic, none could hope to interrupt their duel.
“Bow! To! Me!” Celestia roared, horn-fencing back and forth with all the training Luna had given her. “You are my subject and my student! Bow!” Using her massive weight she shouldered Twilight hard, but the mare held firm. The raw arcane power gave her strength. Without warning the white unicorn blasted her teacher in the eyes with her horn, elicting a scream of pain. She shook her head, quickly recovering. “I am the Princess of this land! I made it in my hooves, it is all mine!”
“What about your sister?! You’re supposed to rule together as equals! You’re just a tyrant!” Twilight roared back. “A sick, twisted tyrant!” Their horns crashed together again, sending sparks and bolts of pure energy in all directions. “You don’t deserve your power anymore!” It was a strange and epic sight indeed, to see an alicorn clash so hard with a being barely a third her size.
Luna paused in her Lunar Stallion moving to watch the fight, hoping the solar guard would do their best without dying. Twilight truly was standing up to her sister, and seemingly holding her own! She watched the two shapes in the ball of fire dance wildly back and forth, jabbing and shouting at each other. Luna couldn’t hear the conversation, but the tones were tell-tale enough. Shaking her head quickly, she gathered up a limp Lunar Stallion on her back, rushing from the room. She followed the traffic of retreating ponies, hoofing him off as soon as she could so she could return to the battle herself. Twilight’s friends were rushing back as well, trying to find some way to help.
“I am a Goddess!” Celestia roared, crashing her horn into Twilight’s in a powerful downward stroke, over and over. Violently smashing her face and horn against her student’s, time and down again, she felt the poor mare begin to give. The tiles were melting around them, for the pure force of heat and magic was too much. Twilight was unused to her unleashed form and wouldn’t be able to maintain it for too much longer, hopefully. “You! Will! Bow! Before me!” Smash. Smash. Smash. Smash. It was like playing bloody knuckles, and Celestia’s knuckles were much larger and firmer. Twilight began to buckle, going on the defense at least. Sensing victory, the alicorn reared up to crush her to the floor with her massive front hooves. Twilight rushed forward and under her, blasting past the golden armor at her soft underbelly! Celestia cried out, somersaulting forward and onto her back. While her hooves flailed in the air, Twilight leapt upon her wide chest, straddling mercilessly.
“I’ll never bow to you again, monster!” Twilight straddle-punched Celestia right in the nose, then seized her mane like a school-yard fighter might. She shrieked in feral rage, red eyes ablaze and turning a sterile and powerful white. She looked just like she had that day at the entrance exams! Wild and out of control. The solar pony had found her second wind, the fight wasn’t over yet.
Roaring in frustration, Celestia blasted Twilight point-blank, launching her off of her chest so she could right herself. Struggling to her hooves and wiping her bleeding muzzle, Celestia advanced to press her advantage. Twilight launched a trio of arcane bolts in all directions, wiich punched at Celestia’s side’s like boulders. She grunted, but returned fire to send Twilight tumbling end over end. The unicorn righted herself, still powered by all the fury of a contained star, rushing forward again to do battle.
“This can’t go on!” Luna shouted to Twilight’s friends. She looked up at the shuddering ceiling and vibrating walls. “The palace will tear itself apart!”
“We gotta use the Elements!” Applejack shouted back.
“No! We can’t do it without Twilight! She’s there in the thick of it all!” Rarity said, holding her mane so it didn’t catch fire from the increasing solar winds that were vortexing violently around the room. “It doesn’t work with five!”
“Rarity’s right!” Fluttershy whimpered, sinking onto her belly. “We can’t do it with just us!”
“Get the others to safety!” Luna shifted gears. “Evacuate the palace! Get everypony out!” she folded her wings and lowered her head, walking slowly forward into the fire.
“Princess, no! You can’t!”
“I have to, my little ponies!” Luna roared over her shoulder. They could barely hear her, so intense was the howling storm of solar and arcane magic. “You must do as I say! I am your Princess!” Turning her ears back, she smiled apologetically at them, and started forward again. The five of them looked at each other, then as one turned to retreat. They would save as many as they could. Princess Luna knew best. Squinting and surrounding herself with a shield of lunar magic, the dark alicorn pressed slowly forward into the swirling fires. Gritting her teeth and stepping slowly, she felt like she was walking through cement in a sandstorm. “I’m! Coming! Twilight!” she tried to scream, but she couldn’t hear her own voice anymore.
Back in the spinning ball of fire, Twilight and Celestia fought wildly. The unicorn mare had even sent a black bruise over her former mentor’s chest, her small hoof prints leaving marks. Holding her wrist for a moment, she launched a giant spectral horseshoe at the tyrant, which struck her head on and knocked her down. Leaping after her projectile, Twilight rode the air current and slammed into her like a torpedo, making her cry out. She felt a rib crack. Suddenly all four of Celestia’s legs wrapped around her like a vice, and she barrel-rolled to be atop her student. Holding her down, the armored alicorn began to headbutt her mercilessly. Clang! Twilight yelped, her fiery mane faltering for a moment when she saw white. Clang! She felt a line of blood go down the side of her face, instantly crusted by the heat of their swirling, furious magicks. Clang! It hurt! It hurt so bad! She tried to concentrate, to blast the Princess with her horn. Clang! She couldn’t concentrate, the pain kept coming over and over. “Submit!” Celestia roared, spittle and rage dripping from her maw. “Submit! Submit submit submit!” she struck Twilight with the front of her gilded helm over and over again. The poor mare yelped doggishly, pinned under Celestia’s massive weight. She couldn’t move, couldn’t concentrate.
Arching her back and trying to conjure up a third wind, Twilight let out a jagged roar of fury. Rage, power, magic and heat pulsed off of her body like a heartbeat. The floor began to concave itself into a wide crater, and they slowly sank into the earth. Shards of broken stone were shooting away from them, trying to escape the pressure of the two massive clashing forces. Clang! Clang! Clang! Twilight yelped again, one of her eyes bruising over and then—horrifically—one of her teeth falling out. She coughed, shooting it into Celestia’s face. “Princess…” Twilight moaned, limpening under her slowly. The fires of her mane and tail flickered, flickered... died. Slowly, her head turned to one side and she gave a feeble moan. Her coat blushed back to purple, and her slowly closing eyes returned to their normal hue. Even a star unleashed could not stand against a goddess. She was only mortal.
Celestia felt the thrill of victory wash over her. She’d done it! Twilight had fallen! She was bruised and beaten and… and… and… Celestia’s face turned to one of complete and utter horror. She got off of Twilight, her mouth agape and her hoof rushing up to cover it. There was a long silence. “T-Twilight…” she gasped, her eyes filling with tears. The ball of fire around them began to dissipate. Weak in the knees the Princess fell in exhaustion, watching her beloved student lay there and cough quietly. “Wh—what have I--!” She cried out when a lash of lunar magic cracked across her spine like a whip. Celestia’s head jerked around, her eyes betraying stabbing fear.
Luna stood over her sister, wings open, terror of the night! Eyes flashing completely white Luna ignited her horn and, point-blank, gave her absolutely everything she had. It seemed to almost happen in slow motion. The gathering of lunar magic to her horn. The breath she took before she unleashed the spell. The tension of her legs as she reared up. The wild bannering of her mane as it was pressed back in the recoil. Then, finally, the glorious release of navy blue and black energy over its victim. Opening her mouth in a god-like, savage roar of lunar fury, the night Princess unleashed all her might. The navy-blue beam engulfed Celestia, split the stone she lay on, shuddered the room and almost ripped a hole in reality itself. Celestia’s armor cracked, then blasted wildly apart. It sent shards of gold in every direction. So long as Luna’s scream lasted, so did her stream of pure pain and magic. The white alicorn writhed, screamed, jerked about like a small animal that was being electrocuted.
Luna did not stop. A thousand years. A thousand years of hate and planning and build-up, all for this glorious moment! She’d saved a little magic, just a little, every day since the day she’d been banished to that Faust-forsaken rock. That was 365,000+ days worth of careful storage and planning. All for one spell, all for the hate she would never stop feeling for her sister! Let her burn! Let her writhe! She would not die-- let her suffer the fury of the night like no other! Celestia’s screams were orgasmic! ORGASMIC!
By the time the spell had been spent, Celestia was a quivering pile of blackened misery. Ash covered her, from the floor around her dissolving under Luna’s fury and covering her in a thick coat of death. She whimpered meekly, unable to even lift her hooves. “L…! Luh…!” she wheezed, looking up at her sister fearfully, tears working down her face. “Luh!” she couldn’t even work her mouth properly.
Luna stood there panting. “Don’t… worry… sister.” Her chest heaved and she wavered back and forth on her hooves, completely spent. “I have enough lunar magic for just one more spell. A saved it up from all our moon-bathing together.” She drew herself up, gathering the shadows of the room to her cause. Drawing strength from the places that the day dare not go, she drank in the power of darkness all around her. Grunting, whimpering, taking it all in as best she could, she wove the very spell that had been used on her all those centuries ago. Celestia’s eyes widened in icy-white fear. No! NO! She couldn’t move! She couldn’t resist it or defend herself!
Luna heaved at the great blackness beneath Equestria, stirred the dark powers that only the night dared to cuddle up with. Her outline glowed a terrible, sickly purple. Her wings snapped all the way open to their full, apocalyptic glory. She planted her hooves, crushing the tiles she stood open into shards. The great weight of it all, plus the spell, plus the powers she was conjuring up—now was the time!
The moon suddenly peeked over the horizon. But… but the sun was still high in the sky! What was going on?! The great sphere moved, jerked, rumbled audibly across Equestria. It parted the clouds, pushing away any chance that anypony should not see this. From Manehatten to Appleoosia, from Las Pegasus to Neighpalm! Let them all see! Let them all witness the black glory that was upon them! The moon passed over the sun, blanketing the world in an eerie half-orange darkness. Eclipsed. Finally all was ready. The game was over. The plan had followed through. Victory was neigh. Throwing out her chest in a great and glorious cry of victory Princess Luna proclaimed in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
“TO------ THE------ MOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!”
Celestia winked out of existence, and suddenly the moon had a new face.
End of Part 12
*takes a drag*
Ohhh... was it good for you?
dam
Great chapter Aegis. Nicely laid out plan of Luna's, going from a seemingly innocent training regime, to the banishment of Celestia and the unintentional death of Twilight Sparkle. The power of a thousand years of hate unleashed at once, that wasn't a *shout-out* to all the haters out there was it .
Story has been well written overall, now let's see if Luna rules wisely or stupidly. After all she put a hell of a lot of thought into this, be a shame if she was just going to go forward with the Eternal Night gig. That's stupid evil and Luna's nopony's foal .
images2.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw700_moar.png
I still hope Luna gets her just deserts and that the elements know that they fucked up.
Victory!!!! A biter one boy a victory non the less for her majesty!
Loyal to Luna to the end Comarade!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJTkNRa3hxY
Sadly, now I can only wish for her Majestie's well fare on the events to come
771483
I feel dirty.
Well, it's been fun boys... *pulls out gun*... but without Celestia, I have a feeling that Equestria will fall into ruin. *puts gun flush to head* Goodbye, my fellow bronies. I will miss you. *pulls trigger*
Great chapter by the way.
Oh wow, I feel as though I wasted a whole bunch of time reading this. Lethal amounts of waifu faggotry was found here, and the story discription is highly misleading. I'm going to finish reading this story because I came this far, but I won't be surprised if Wuna rules everthing perfectly. I had an inkling it would turn out badly and so far it has unfortunately not disappointed.
And yes, I am venting. Good writing, but you HORRIBLY underestimate Celestia and drizzled a bit too much waifu sauce on Luna.
You know, one of the strategies recommended by Machiavelli for gaining control of a land is to install a tyrant as ruler, let them crush the population, then execute the tyrant to win the love of the oppressed.
Luna's thousand year gambit has unveiled it's full brilliance. Her sister is exiled a tyrant, and the leader of the Elements, the only thing that could threaten Luna at this point, is dead. Well played.
Oh, updated already?
Well, here we are. As expected, no happy ending in sight. Celestia is gone, Luna has won and all that's left for her is to get her comeuppance. I think, to that end, it's intentional to leave Twilight's fate unclear.
The fight scenes could stand to be better. The in-battle dialogue especially is a little cringe-worthy. Very cheesy stuff. I actually snorted at Luna's "TO THE MOOON". If that's intentional, then fine. Otherwise you might want to work on that some.
And yes, the title and synopsis are quite misleading as to what the story is actually about. Surprises are nice. I appreciate a genuine OH-SNAP!-moment in my reading. But at this point you sold the story as something it is not.
Now, the only real question is how long it's going to take Luna to drop all pretenses and go full Nightmare Moon again. If she's going to try and take out the EoH, specifically twilight while she has a chance, or if she's going to wait a few days/years/centuries.
I don't expect it will be long, though her plan was well thought out and she had the patience to carry it out, she doesn't really seem like the patient type. It may very well boil down to Luna having a second trip to the moon and then having 2 Mares in the moon. At which point they can fight and bicker to each other for a thousand years.
You know, Luna, you stupid cliched revenge villain, if you didn't grow so full of petty jealousy because ponies slept through your 'pwecious night', Celestia never would have sent you to the moon in the first place. You only have yourself to blame. Oh well, that's that. Evil Luna won, everypony thinks Celestia turned bad, yada yada, the usual stuff of these kind of stories. Maybe the truth will come out, and then the Elements will blast Luna into Scion confetti. Or maybe she'll kill the Elements and win. Or maybe the truth won't be found out and evil Luna reigns forever. Either way, no outcome is going to surprise me anymore. I'm just a tad dissapointed, to be honest. The synopsis promised a whole different story than the one we got. The concept in the description was very original, but these later chapters, however, are not, it's been done before a lot of times. Sorry to say it like that.
Anyway, gruesome, horrible, painful, bloody, ripped-to-gory-pieces death for Luna, pwetty pwease?
Quite brilliant, I like luna like I liked Light in Death Note.
Evil characters are just so much more... interesting
Hope Luna wins and kills everything
This has been quite the disappointment to me, not only did the story feel like it was forced down this path, from everyone falling in line for lunas plans like they were following a script, to the anticlimactic battle in witch Celestia has her oh nos moment, it all felt like our favorite ponies were just a excuse to prove that Luna is some kind of super pony. At the beginning of this story I felt like Luna had such depth to her character, but she is just a two bit villan. And Celestia was wonderful, just like we all want her to be, but she was just trying to make herself a better princess and sister. She unfortunately also lost more and more of the personality and character that made her so interesting, now she is almost two dimensional and a complete fool. I said that I lost this story before and just now found it, I now wish it had stayed lost. It was so much better when Luna actually was showing Tough Love to her sister and Celestia was learning to rule with measured strength again. It feels like you squandered a wonderful idea just to turn it into another horribly predictable Luna gets revenge fic.
THERE HAD BETTER BE A CHAPTER 13!!!!! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE IT HERE.
I'm not fucking joking, but I got a frozen mars bar out of the fridge, and was waiting for it to cool to the perfect temperature and consistency. I start to read this fic, I finish the fic and look to my right, I go "wtf" why is that mars bar sitting there, one foot away!. Fucking seriously! I forgot it was there and now it's too warm. This is on your head, YOUR HEAD!!!!
So much for Good luna. !@#@##$$$
God that was good for me, I think I need a cigarette!
Yeah, you just go and announce to all of Equestria that you sent your sister to the moon. Just make an eclipse right when you send her there so everypony can see you didn't redeem yourself at all. I'm sure they'll be happy to know you banished their beloved ruler who won't be seen again in a thousand years due to your grudge.
You know, usually I'd find some way of disagreeing with the negative reviews.
But right now?
Fuck this shit. There's a pretty big bit of detail you're missing out here, and that is that it wasn't Luna on the moon, it was Nightmare Moon. Luna wasn't in control. When NM came back, it was only her in charge. There is no way Luna could have had enough rational thought to devise a plan this complex. It just couldn't happen.
And now I'm ranting. Ugh.
I'll keep reading, but something terrible had better happen to Luna. She cannot get away with this.
Well, that was one heck of a battle between Celestia and Twilight. Both of them were pretty stuck in Hulk Smash! mode, probably another touch of Luna's work there. And it did neatly take the Elements of Harmony out of the equation for the moment needed. Luna was definitely getting into her dark power groove there at the end. Machiavelli would approve completely. She's done a real job of pulling off the perfect coup, now we have to see if she's got the chops to step into her sister's place and rule without making a mess of things. After all, she's carefully crafted a cult of personality with her as the reformed, caring individual willing to take on an abusive sister and, with her allies, banish her to the self-same prison she endured to protect Equestria and all its inhabitants. That's something that can easily fall to bits around her, unless she can deliver on her promises. And while she's got the loyalty of the Elements, after what just happened, I doubt that very many excesses will be tolerated, and the scrutiny is going to be even fiercer for years to come.
Of course, on the other hoof, she does have the key to the lock on Celestia's prison, so I suppose that it's not a requirement that her elder sister spend a full thousand years in durance vile. Guess that will depend on just how far her vengeful streak extends. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter, I'm sure that we'll see what direction you plan to have things go from here.
daaaaaaaaaaaaamn
That was good. cannot wait for the conclusion
Applejack: Princess, what does the scouter say about Twilight's power level?
Luna: It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!
I liked it because it was very dark and evil like the tag suggested.
blraghhhh im pukeing rainbows man that fight had be literally breathless. but how did she plan the changeling invasion?
I just found the best way to read this chapter, and strangely it was just random. Exactly when the fight really started "Requiem For A Dream" began to play. For the people who don't know this song, it is just the most epic piece of music ever made. And just when Luna yelled "TO THE MOON" the song played it's last few notes... I love that song and because of that I will now always remember this chapter! Great story, now I'm going to read the next chapter!
...
I wonder if Luna is teaching her a lesson (what exactly Celestia did to her) and will bring her back after a while or if... there wasn't a timer on that spell.
I felt like I was watching DBZ at one point. And the rest feels like "The Departed". Where everyone is a dick and a back-stabbing douche and everyone dies and the only person who lives is the most gigantic douche of them all. Oh, and the only decent person in it dies or, in Twilight's case, gets the shit kicked out of her until she's barely breathing.
Darling, I have this story since the beginning and am wonderfully excited to see how Luna rules
>> Aegis Shield And I disagree, Celestia has many character traits, she already has personality. Also keep in mind when one has lived and experianced like for over 2000 years you would be good at hiding your emotions. Celestia is first and formost wise, generous, and kind... and it is out of character for you not to have her be such. Yet this does not mean she hasn't made mistakes, having felt sorrow and pain. In many ways I see Celestia as a softer example of a Mare Wearing the Queenly Mask: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWomanWearingTheQueenlyMask
As in Celestia is/was (now that Luna is back) a princess who is the supreme ruler of her country. She is beautiful, clever, strong-willed, charismatic and she cares deeply about her land and her subjects. She has her subjects follow her through cunning and the force of her personality, she adhers to protocol and makes it work for her. She has to dress perfectly, speak perfectly, be perfectly calm, never falter, never show "weakness". She has to think of and counter every possible intrigue and strategy. She may have to take some of her more evil or unruly subjects and was even willing to send her own transformed sister (now Nightmare Moon, there is a difference) to the moon.
In fact, she can't act like a pony anymore, she has to be The High Queen and finds it tiring.
Now admittingly it doesn't fit perfectly, at least partly because there isn't much, if any, true corruption or war. And she is completely trusted and loved by her subjects, though they may not always know why she does something and her personal life/history is something of a great mystery.
845159 It is her queenly mask that makes her unknowable. You can't get inside her head because she doesn't LET anypony. Her public face is her only face, and it is thusly the only Celestia we've ever known. We don't know anything about the inner workings of her mind, if she really does have a weakness for cheese cake or calligraphy or bronze statuettes. She's a blank slate with a mask and a bemused smile, that's why she's so hard to write. If you have her as anything other than prim and proper its "out of character". As far as canon goes, to me, she doesn't HAVE a character.
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What are you talking about? I just gave you her character and it is far from boring. Why must you insist of changing her, your thoughts being she is too boring the way she is and must have her character weakened. For example, Celestia would not be deceived by Luna nor would the ponies in Equestria ever even consider her being a tyrant as they love, trust, and in some cases adore Celestia. This is for a fact, not some random characterization. Seriously what I gave above would work perfectly for a fanfiction, and heck it could become an entertaining way to having Celestia and Luna trying to out gambit each other. Celestia has patience and clarity while Luna has aggressive tactics and determination.
The only thing that could be added is that Celestia has a mischievous, playful side but one that doesn't harm ponies (Celestia isn't a troll).
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Have we ever seen her animatedly yell at anypony? No.
Have we ever seen her EAT (other than cake)? No.
Have we ever seen her dance, sing, run, play, or do anything physical? No. (well Chrystalis, but she lost there)
Have we ever seen her reading books, painting pictures, shopping at the store? No.
We have no idea "who" she is.
To center a story around her is to blanket her with at least one or two things she simply doesn't have in the show. If she comes up against a problem, does she get frustrated or show fear for giant obstacles? No of course not, she's the ever-calm, all powerful Celestia. That practically makes her into a boring Mary Sue character.
There is no canon Celestia personality beyond the prim and proper Princess, and that cannot be her true self. It makes for a flat character.
845286
She has gotten angry and has raised her voice at both Discord and her own student Twilight, and why does she have to yell at somepony? There are people in real life with the patience not to yell at others, people that show kindness and are generious to those around them... it is easy to make an interesting character that does not yell (that and yelling went out of style though Luna hasn't learned this :p).
She has been shown to eat, at Mr. and Mrs. Cakes' shop. Also remember is is not a central character, and if you take the time to look back there have been times where a character is never shown to eat. it is reasonable she mostly eats at the palace... where Twilight and friends haven't visited apart from a few times.
She is too busy running the country to be shown doing this, have you seen the president dance, sing, run, or play? (I haven't) Rulers are not often shown having fun, they are normally to busy to have the chance. Now on doing something for the country... she maintains life in Equestria, having for a 100 years actually needing to ruler the day and the night. She seems to always be busy doing something, so yah.
As Twilight's mentor and for the fact she has been around for over a 100 years clearly she has spend much time reading either by herself or with her student... as well as letters, royal related papers, exc. Also remember Celestia is not the focus of the show by far, as such why would she be shown painting or going to teh store (others probably go shopping for her).
We know enough to make a reasonable characterization, and to be honest for what is in many ways a 'minor' character one has learned much about her in two season. To be honest the fans were lucky to get a Luna focused episode. On her being somehow a Mary Sue lets consider for a second. For a ruler of Equestria she hardly ever appears in the show (1st mark against being a MS), she has been shown needing to rely on others to save Equestria (2nd mark against being a MS), she did not forsee the event of her sister being turned evil and threatening Equestria with death (3rd mark against being a MS), if anything she is dependant on her student Twilight Sparkle and her friends as she lost the means of using the EoH (4th mark against being a MS), she is not all knowing and all powerful though she is wise and arguably the most powerful individual pony in Equestria (no mark for or against but if she was a MS one wouldn't find so many villians that could defeat her), exc.
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At the very least it would make more sense for Celestia to be giving the 'tough love', especually sense Luna is so clueless on how things work in Equestria on her return. On her 'training herself on the moon', that doesn't fit with canon as it was Nightmare Moon on/in the moon not Luna... and Nightmare Moon is not Luna. As such any training done on the moon would have gone away once Nightmare Moon was defeated and Luna returned (which could actually be said to be shown, as Luna is clearly smaller and weaker then Nightmare Moon).
In Luna's episode she is clearly shown to be clueless, with outdated thinking. She is also shown to still be unwise and really isn't the 'cunning' type (always considered her to be too straightforward for complex planning like you have shown).
Worse ending ever, I'm sorry what what the f*** were you thinking??! You ruined the very premise of MLP:FiM, you destroyed the very characterization of Celestia and Luna!!! You make Luna truly and horribly despicable, and as others have said she is a spiteful bitch. You had her ruin and mind rape Celestia, manipulate and lie to others, turned Twilight against her beloved mentor, and then had Twilight killed.
Worse... you have the villain win and open up for Equestria to fall into ruin, you have spit in the faces of the princesses and characters.
Did you actually think people would be happy with this ending? I know you wanted to give the princesses 'personally' but by doing so you raped Celestia and Luna.
858186 Pardon, but do you see a label that says "complete?"
Do you see the words "THE END" anywhere?
No.
Idiot.
Luna was cast as the villian in this story. You know. The EVIL character. Of course she's a manipulative, spiteful bitch.
P.S. DARK tag. Dark. Tag. If it made you angry, then I'm doing my job right.
P.P.S. Twilight was never killed. Read more closely.
Still doesn't change the fact you have twisted the characters from the show, part of the reason I am so mad is because of my emotional connection to the characters. Luna is my favorite princess, I respect Celestia, and Twilight is my favorite of the Mane Six. To see what you have done to the characters from the show, especually the princesses, and how you have made this forced plotline... it's frustrating to say the least.
I apoligize, I realized after posting that it wasn't the ending yet still you had the 'villian wins'. Your alternative character interpretation are just so jarring and counter to what I know to be true... can you understand why I am upset?
859323 I can, and for it I shall extend an olive branch.
Go and read "Luna's Story: Rise of the Lunar Stallions".
That is my one true Luna, and it will hopefully soothe you.
859347
I heard that you ended this story a while ago but removed the ending of it. I can I get a link or read the the original ending?
And also 50+ internet points if anyone remembers this:Do you like bananas?
878120 FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY, stop reading right here. Your head will explode and you will NOT like what is coming up.
*shoves story under a rug*
EPIC and the Victor writes the History Books as they say.
Vivas Noctus!
Right so......I'm confused as to how this story fits in with your whole 'Lunar Stallion'-verse. Please clarify?
Also, do you plan to continue this story or is it a permanent hiatus?
916954 It does not fit in with my Lunar Stallion-verse.
The final chapter will be done when I get around to it. The original ending was so hated, I'm kind'a scared to write more right now.
It is up to the author to finish a story any way he or she (any author) pleases. I personally liked the ending, its a darker story detailing the motive of a creature who found 1000 years to plan and deceptively take down her sister successfully. Only with a stroke of luck did she complete her plan without a hitch ( hopefully Murphy does not have a pony equivalent ) which would be this : the defeat and banishment of Celestia, the sister who banished her to the moon for 1000 years only to brood; the defeat of all viable threats which would be Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, and the Elements of Harmony ( broken due to the death of Twilight); and a loyal civilian populous. A true Machiavellian power play. The fact that it is completely isolated from the Luna Trilogy means its outcome can be any of its choosing, in fact most likely the best story showing an uprising which was successful. Bravo...... So that being said, it deserves its own epilogue to conclude the story. But this is but one man's words, and the author's choice to do what he pleases.
Well, I just now got around to reading this story. And I must say that was amazing.
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I actually really liked the ending.
Cold, Calculating, Perfect!
I would like to see more of what happens in the aftermath.
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773568 You know, there's one fanfic out there about Luna herself being behind the changeling invasion, with her doing the planning and whatnot. It does explain her lack of any important role in the season 2 finale very well.