Fallout: Equestria - Stargazer

by MrShinyObject

Chapter 2 - The Savanna

Chapter 2 - The Savanna

“We put a lot of hard work into this land, so we can feed our town, our families, our foals! “

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“Young buck, what do you remember about our great land?”

“Not much. I just remember that it was... great.”

“You are right. Our land was very beautiful, once. We had forests that stretched for miles, fresh water was easy to obtain, and our people were prosperous. We guided our world as it grew around us. We rose above our tribal ways, and emerged as a modern, unified society. We had become an empire.”

“...But then we were attacked.”

“Eventually, yes, but don’t get ahead of yourself, child. I shall tell you of the end. But you must know our beginning before you can know our present. We turned their already accursed land into a wasteland, and in return, they transformed ours from a utopia into the Savanna.”

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So, this was the Savanna. Nyota saw a vast expanse of flat, dry landscape, broken by the occasional mountain and interspersed with little oases of grass and trees. The cave seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, and she was surprised to find that the cave wasn’t part of a mountain, but a hill, little more than the entrance itself. She wasn’t certain of her surroundings, since the dirt and sand blowing through the air obstructed most of it. Fortunately, she had come from a cave that was just as dusty and dry as the outside, so her eyes were quick to adjust to the Savanna’s weather.

The sun was going to be a problem, though. A lifetime spent underground had left her accustomed to darkness; torches and a distant peephole to the outdoors had not prepared her eyes for the wide open sky, the vast whiteness of the plains, and the blinding light of the sun. She could tell already that the stars and moon would be an even more welcome sight than usual. Despite the fact that it was midday, the moon was already floating in the sky, and the wrongness of that wasn’t lost on her despite having lived in a cave for as long as she remembered.

But enough sightseeing. She had a job to get done. The first thing to do was to see if the kidnappers had left anything behind that could lead her to their whereabouts.

The mare cast another glance back to the cave. Before she left, she searched the trees, hoping to find some items or articles of clothing that may have been caught in the branches, but had no such luck. The broken potion vial was, unfortunately, also useless, as other than the concoction that it had contained it was nothing but a common glass bottle. She thought back to the attack from the previous night. She had heard a twig snap, but those were scattered all over the ground, so that led nowhere. She had never actually seen her attackers, so they either aren’t from the area directly in front of the cave (which she had dubbed North, if the position of the sun could be trusted), or they snuck around the entrance to stay out of sight. After considering it, she realized that, when she was struck the attack had come from above, so the attackers were at one point on top of the cave, but but unfortunately that didn’t tell her much. Perhaps the instrument they used to knock her out was a clue? She remembered it had been solid black, she could tell that even in the darkness. She knew nothing about whether or not certain tribes or places used any certain types of weapons, and didn’t think anyone from the cave knew either.

“Well this is off to a fine start,” she remarked to no one but herself. She was getting nowhere fast. She scanned the earth around the opening, hoping to find some hoofprints that hadn’t been erased by the Savanna’s winds. No such luck. Running out of ideas by now, the mare climbed to the top of the hill to get a different angle of the area. Sadly, she still wasn't able to find anything useful. Tracker, she was not.

Well, there was only one thing left to do. She raised her eyes from the ground and surveyed the area. Through squinted eyes and enough sand to fill twenty of the Madame’s cauldrons, she decided what her first destination would be.

A big-ass mountain.

Not the largest one, of course. There are plenty of gigantic mountains around, and unless the ponies had really hated Mt. Kilimanejaro, she doubted that they could have flattened it like they did the cities. The mountain she had set her sights on was to the west, in a former grassland, and had no name that she knew of. For now she’d just call it her next objective, and there wasn’t a star-devil out there that she would let slow her down.

Nyota wasn’t just doing it for kicks, though. Firstly, she reasoned, from that height she would be able to see the majority of the Savanna, and would be able to tell roughly where some camps and old buildings were. Secondly, thirteen foals and their captors weren't going to be noticeable in the open plains, especially when the night came around and the darkness would help conceal them. However, from the top of the mountain she would likely be able to spot a large group like that on the move, and they probably hadn't managed to get very far on hoof yet. And thirdly, of course, it would make for a fantastic view of the night sky.

The mountain wasn’t exactly near though, so she set off at a brisk gallop, hoping to make it there within a few hours. She liked having a goal, even if it was as simple as “climb that mountain.”

When she reached the base of the mountain, the sun was nearing the horizon. It had been even further than she had thought. It turned out that it wasn’t a big mountain a short gallop away, but a gigantic mountain a half day’s gallop away. She had no time to catch her breath, though, and immediately headed up the safest-looking path along the mountain, hoping to avoid treacherously loose soil and sharp rocks.

It was simple at first, just a matter of walking up an incline where she wouldn’t immediately slide back down, but the further she went, the more precarious the terrain became, and she soon found herself struggling for balance. Soon, the path ended entirely, and she had to start actually climbing, groping around for each hoof-hold and jumping from one crag to another to advance.

At one point, when the sun was halfway under the horizon, she groped above her with her left hoof for a handhold and felt something softer than rock or dirt. As she pulled herself up, she found that she had accidentally crushed a budding, ruby-colored flower that had sprouted from the crags of the mountain. She also noticed a blinking green light on her BrewBuck. Needing a bit of a rest anyway, she sat down on the next ledge that could support her and played the alert message.

“Common ingredient type detected. Red mountain flower. Ingredient for: health potion, wolf-spider venom antidote, anticoagulant, resistance to-”

Nyota flicked the button again to shut it off. Ingredient for a health potion; that was good enough for her, she thought, taking the flower. As she continued to climb her BrewBuck alerted her to several more plants along the mountainside, and she decided to play it safe and just grab them all. She’d pick out the good ones the next time she decided to catch her breath. At the moment, though, she was in a bit of a rush, and it would be another century before she grabbed enough flower petals and fancy blades of grass to actually slow her down.

Only a sliver of the sun remained by the time Nyota finally pulled herself up to the peak of the mountain. Though it took some effort, she managed to steady herself on a relatively flat portion of the ground. The sun slipped away behind the horizon as light began to escape from the sky.

Daytime wasn’t her thing, but this she could get used to. Nyota inhaled the night air and let it out slowly as the wind blew through her mane. It tasted bitter and rotten, but it was better than the dusty air of the cave or the sandstorms raging below. The wind had died down considerably, but at this altitude it refused to fade away completely. She enjoyed it though, as it was quite refreshing after the long climb.

She had certainly been correct in her assumption that this would provide a great view of the Savanna. The dust storms that ravaged the ground below had vanished with the winds that drove them, and with the twilight sky still providing a fair amount of light, she could see much better than she had been able to on the ground.

She couldn’t see anything of note to the North. It seemed to be just more of the same, arid grasslands sans any actual grass. Far off in the distance she could make out what was possibly a crater from a megaspell, but considering the lack of rubble surrounding it, she could safely assume that the bomb had missed its intended target.

The East, however, was quite a sight to behold. A couple miles behind the cave was an honest-to-goodness forest. She had been certain that anything living would have been vaporized, and yet there it stood, thousands of trees standing in the distance. She had no idea how far it stretched, as the night had already cast the eastern horizon into shadow, and the strangely dark coloration of the trees caused them to blend in perfectly with the backdrop, making them difficult to see.

The forest curved around the landscape all the way to the mountain’s South. The trees thinned out as her eyes followed the horizon, until eventually the forest was nothing more than patches of green spread thinly throughout the Savanna. Near the edge of the thicker forest, where the trees were far enough apart to clearly see through them, Nyota could make out a small town. It wasn’t built from the ruins of any pre-existing settlement, so far as she could tell. From the top of the mountain she could see the glistening metal of the fence, but no signs of the large, white chunks of marble or concrete that would mean permanent structures. She made a mental note of the town’s location: two days trot from the southernmost base of the mountain. If the residents were peaceful, she might be able to do some trading there.

The West held the most beautiful sight Nyota had seen in three years: The Zebra Capital. The former heart of the Empire, and the home of its Caesar, wasn’t even a mile away from the mountain. It also served as the Caesar’s final home, it would seem, since Nyota couldn’t see any sign of the mighty tower of the Imperial Palace, which the Madame had once said pierced the clouds themselves, easily making it taller than the mountain she stood on.She had very little memory of it, and wished dearly that she could have seen it in person. Where the proud symbol of Zebra power had once stood remained only a pile of distorted metal, resting among a pile of ash that grew smaller every year as the winds of passing generations slowly eroded it away.

The last of the sun’s rays curved around the edge of the horizon and illuminated the city in fading light. She could see the city in its entirety, from the remains of the markets near the forest to the flattened factories on the opposite side. Dividing the two was the residential area, much less damaged than she had expected. Apartments remained standing, missing no more than a floor or two from the top, others missing the walls of one side of the building. Huts and individual houses had been blown away, but more recent constructions had taken their place. Squinting her eyes, she could make out a few apartments that had been somewhat restored with sheets of scrap metal, and fortified with barbed wire. Even after being blown to Tartarus and back, it seemed that the Capital still had one of the larger populations in the Savanna, considering how many of those buildings looked like they were inhabited.

It was the closest thing she had to a lead, so far. From the mountaintop she could see nothing that gave any clues to the foals’ whereabouts; no crowd of zebras traversing the Savanna, no trail of hoofprints anywhere close, no big flag with “we kidnapped them, they’re over here!” written on it. Looked like she’d be doing this the hard way.

And she knew just where to start. At the base of the western side of the mountain, facing the city, Nyota could see a small encampment. It was surrounded by a makeshift wall of warped metal, much like the replacement walls on the restored apartments in the Capital. At the other end of the camp she could make out a gate opening to a path down to the city. Luckily for her, whatever tribe lived there seemed to believe that the steep mountainside would be enough protection, as they left that side of the camp unprotected.

Before she started her nearly vertical descent down the mountain, she tilted her head back and looked straight up.

Cloudy. Damn. Maybe tomorrow night then.

* * * * * * * * *

Nyota was surprised she got so close to the camp unnoticed. She wasn’t exactly the stealthiest zebra around, and trying to safely climb down the mountain that this tribe used as a wall was not an easy feat. The night was on her side, though, and she figured most of the guards were too sleepy to notice her, especially in the dark. She had gotten off the mountain and was now hiding behind a crate she found sitting in the back of the camp. Now would be a good time to come up with a plan.

Just as that thought crossed her mind, she saw a mare walk by with a silenced 10mm pistol hanging around her neck. The guard mare had some slapped together armor, a few pieces of leather connected with rope straps. Her glyph mark was the ancient zebra symbol for “lion.” Could end up being a fierce fighter if things got messy. These tribes are the type to shoot first and ask questions later, but Nyota was willing to take the risk.

Nyota pulled herself out of cover but kept to the shadows. She crept closer to the mare and placed her hoof on Starcutter’s hilt.

She stepped on a particularly noisy twig.

Well, wasn’t that just poetic. Nyota quickly pulled herself back behind the large crate.

The tribal mare caught the noise. She turned to stare at the wall of the mountain in front of her. She spoke through the darkness, trying to seem threatening while still keeping her voice down, “Hey! Is there someone out there? I know how to use this thing!” she put her mouth over the silenced pistol and pointed it ahead of her, struggling to pierce the darkness with her gaze.

Nyota leaned against the crate in utter silence. Keeping her breath steady and low. As long as neither of them moved she’d be fine. Probably. She contemplated the irony of the situation. Just last night she was in this exact situation, but on the other end. She hoped that her attackers were as ill-prepared as she was right now. Then again, those guys wanted to kill her and steal children, Nyota just wanted a little bit of information. If that’s all they wanted, she would have gladly obliged.

This mare, however, may not end up being so cooperative. She fired three silenced shots into the crate and two more at the mountain. She spat out the pistol and talked to the darkness again, “I heard something out there, and I know there ain’t any animals that crawl around back here. I’d hate to wake my elder by grabbing an assault rifle, so why don’t you just pop on out and say hello?”

Nyota did not like the situation she was in. That mare knew she was there, and possibly knew where she was hiding. She could really use one of those black vials filled with smoke right about now. She’d have to try something soon, that’s for sure. And “something” did not include saying hello. At least when Nyota was a guard she’d at least try to find out who her attackers before trying to kill them.

The mare cautiously approached the crate. “Don’t think you can fuck around with the Blue Demons and not answer for it.” The mare grabbed the pistol once more and placed a hoof on the side of the crate, preparing to turn the corner.

Nyota ignored the fact that she had no idea who the Blue Demons were, and didn't really care either, seeing as how she was about to get shot by one. Instead, she started moving. The mare could only get the drop on Nyota if she stayed put.

Nyota whipped around the corner and kicked the pistol out of her mouth with her left hoof while Starcutter swung around to cut the strap keeping the mare’s gun attached to her. With her forelegs’ jobs already done, Nyota’s back legs put all their strength into pushing herself forward. She knocked the guard mare to the ground and put her back knees over the mare’s legs to pin her. The guard mare’s forelegs flailed wildly, but Nyota managed to hold them both down with her left hoof, leaving the muzzle of the pistol just an inch or two out of her reach. One thing this mare did not have going for her was strength, and Nyota took advantage of that.

Nyota held Starcutter against the mare’s neck. One advantage to having a sword designed for hooves is being able to stay armed while talking.

“Keep quiet! We wouldn’t want to wake that elder, remember?” Nyota warned.

The mare opened her mouth as if to scream or yell, but closed it quickly. Instead she turned her energy toward giving her captor a fierce gaze of hatred and fury. Only now did Nyota notice that the mare had blue facepaint just below her eyes and along her cheek, perpendicular to her natural stripes.

“I knew you weren’t an idiot! Now, how about I ask you some questions? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but it would be heavily suggested.” As she finished the sentence she slid the sword slowly across her neck, giving her an impromptu shave. Nyota was tempted to pull out the truth serum instead of resorting to interrogation, but though the potion made zebras talk, Starcutter could make them stay quiet. “I’ll start with something easy: who are the Blue Demons?” She didn’t really care, but it could become important, and she wanted to start with a question she knew the mare would answer honestly.

Through gritted teeth the blue-faced mare gave an answer, “Only the deadliest motherfuckers in the Savanna. We’ll kill whatever pisses us off enough, and I’m pretty sure right now you’ve just made the top of the list.”

Nyota sighed. Honest answer, maybe, but biased all the same. “So, just a normal tribe fighting for power then.” The mare didn’t like the disrespect Nyota was showing the tribe, but her expression was about as ferocious as it could have gotten already. Nyota continued, “Alright, have you or anyone in your tribe seen a group of about a dozen foals being led around unwillingly by some zebras anytime last night?”

The mare spat before answering, “How the fuck should I know? We get a few zebras running past the camp every day, no one gives a shit unless they get too close or block the road.”

A possible dead end, but maybe there was someone else in the camp who actually paid attention to what was happening during their shift. She’d be willing to try to come to peace with the Blue Demons if anyone there wasn’t as trigger happy as this mare.

She softened her tone a bit as she asked, “One last question: is there anyone here who maybe kept a better eye on things?”

“Yeah, a stallion by the name of ‘Fuck You!’”

At that, the mare put all her strength into pulling herself out from under her hoof and slammed her own on the pistol to her right. The pistol went off with a deafening gunshot, helpfully alerting her to the fact that the mare had been slowly working the silencer off the gun with the tip of her hoof.

Nyota slid her sword across the mare’s neck, only this time it hit bone as she applied a more lethal amount of force. That gunshot would’ve alerted the entire camp, and Nyota figured she’d have less than a minute before they were all over her. Nyota flicked the blood off her blade and slid it back into its sheath. There was no way she could face them all, and she would need all four legs to outrun them. The need might arise for a ranged weapon, so she grabbed the mare’s pistol and started attaching the silencer again. It started with a full clip, meaning that after unloading into the mountain she had seven shots left. No time to look for spare ammo; hopefully she wouldn’t need to use it at all.

Then she came to a realization.

She just killed someone.

Nyota turned back to look at the dying mare lying with her back on the dirt, blood spurting from the gash on her neck. This was a living, breathing, intelligent, sane zebra that she had just killed. The mare hadn’t done much, just fire off a shot to call for help. Or maybe she was just trying to warn her friends that they were under attack. Either way, she wasn’t really a threat, she had just been a little quick to pull the trigger, and from what Nyota knew of the Savanna so far, that might not even be a bad thing. She could have been making an honest living for all she knew. Maybe she was just the tribe’s mechanic, or the mare who opened the gate. She wasn’t necessarily the one who did any type of killing.

Nyota apparently was, though. She had just killed a zebra and only now even realized it. How could it have been so easy for her? It was as if taking the life was just part of the plan, or, perish the thought, a reflex. She didn’t even stop to consider it; she just continued to think about her own survival. Had she done this before? She knew her sword skills were impressive, but she had always hoped she was just a hobbyist or something, not a trained killer. There was no mistaking it though, she took that life with the cold, calculated precision of a zebra assassin. Was this going to change how she thought about herself? Could she even think about herself in the same way again?

This was not the time to figure that out. There were people trying to kill her now, and she had to make sure that didn’t happen.

* * * * * * * * *

Nyota galloped along the camp’s wall, keeping it to her right side. The mountain was far too steep to go back that way, and climbing the walls would take too long and turn her into a shooting range for the pissed off zebras looking for her. Her plan was to stay low to the ground, keep away from the commotion in the center of the camp, and get as far away as possible from her last known location. The gate was on the opposite side of the camp, and as soon as she got there she’d buck it open and make a mad dash for the city.

She skidded to a stop as she heard hoofbeats in front of her on the other side of a ramshackle bit of housing. She laid herself prone and pressed her body against the side of the building. On the other side she could hear an exasperated stallion speaking.

“Hey, ya dumb buck!” He paused to catch his breath. “Grab a gun and start patrolling! Some asshole just slit the new girl’s throat back by the mountain.”

“Holy shit!” another stallion replied. Nyota could hear him fiddling with a rifle. His next words were muffled by the gun in his mouth, “Don’ wowwy, we’w fife her.”

“Don’t talk with that in your mouth you dumbass, now go and start looking!” the first stallion ordered. Nyota held her breath as the two stallions ran past the shack, fortunately to the opposite side of the camp. She could see that they, too, had blue facepaint and poorly-made armor.

When their steps were no louder than any of the others, she sprang back to her hooves and resumed her gallop along the side of the wall. She was glad to hear that they still thought she was by the mountain, but the camp only had so many places to hide, so that would change soon enough. She felt like luck was on her side, though, since if she had been just a second faster she’d have run right into the stallions she had heard.

Ahead of her, she could see the gate’s giant floodlights aimed towards the road. She was getting close. She slowed to a canter after realizing the gate was probably locked down and under heavy guard by now. She hid herself behind the hut closest to the gate and dared a peak around the corner to see what she was up against.

The gate had a guard mare on each side, each armed with a fully automatic assault rifle in their mouths and actual, quality, leather armor. They had nearly as much blue paint on as they did armor, to the point that you could barely make out their natural stripes. They were scanning the area intensely, and Nyota hid herself again as one of them began to turn her head toward her position.

Nyota considered her options. Sneaking up on them wasn’t really possible, seeing how the gate was flooded with light and the only path to approach them was in their direct line of sight. The silenced pistol was an option, but she had never fired a gun in her life (as far as she knew, anyway) and anything other than a string of lucky shots would just alert everyone to her position. She could try and distract the guards, maybe throw a pebble to the opposite side of the camp or-

“Hey!” screamed a voice from behind her.

Nyota whipped her head around and looked at a blue-faced stallion running towards her, pulling his gun up from the lanyard around his neck. She moved to grab Starcutter and had it out in an instant.

But the stallion wasn’t getting any closer. He fired a three-round burst from his rifle.

One shot tore through Nyota’s mane, another was halted by her armor, and the last one entered her left hind leg. She let out a cry of pain and let her bleeding leg dangle as her other three legs took on her weight. She hobbled quickly around the corner to get cover from the stallion.

The stallion spat out the gun momentarily to shout a warning, “Blue Demons, over here! I put one in her leg, but she’s still moving!” He picked up the gun again and fired two more bursts, but none managed to penetrate the wall of the hut she was hiding behind.

The gate guards heard the warning and turned to see Nyota who was now limping around the side of the building toward them. They didn’t hesitate to open fire with their considerably more dangerous assault rifles.

Nyota ignored the burning pain and flying bullets to search for cover. The first thing she noticed was that she was lucky enough to be near the door of the hut she was hiding behind. She shoved it open and leapt inside as bullets grazed her flank, and a lighter-caliber one hit her remaining hind leg. She prepared to buck the door closed, but another intense pang from her hind legs convinced her otherwise, so she slammed it closed with her side instead

She was out of the line of fire, but only until they reached the door, so she had to think fast. First, she turned a locker over in front of the door, which would hopefully prevent it from opening. Then she looked around for any windows or other points of entry, but found the hut to be secure. Gunshots could be heard from all around her, but the hut’s walls seemed to be thick enough to stop any bullets from coming through.

After carefully assessing the situation, Nyota determined that she was utterly screwed. She was trapped in a tiny hut that was currently being surrounded by more enemies than she had stripes. Most of them had fully automatic weapons, she had a half-empty pistol and a sword. She was bleeding profusely from her rear legs, her left one quickly going numb, and the pain of her injuries combined with the sound of gunfire was making it hard to concentrate.

She noticed then that her BrewBuck was flashing red. Well, it wasn’t any worse than the sound of gunfire, so she flicked the audio button and listened as limped around the hut searching for anything useful.

The tinny voice announced the first medical problem, “Warning: minor lacerations detected on user in multiple locations. Standard health potion suggested. Number carried: 0.” Oh good, that helped a lot. As did the contents of the hut. The locker she tipped over was mostly empty and the shelf across from the door only had a few metal boxes wrapped in chain and padlocks. Nyota could hear banging on the door as they attempting to break in, but the locker was doing its job so far.

“Warning: moderate damage to right hind leg of user. Standard health potion and sterile bandages suggested. Number of potions carried: 0. Number of bandages carried: 0.” More than she already knew. Maybe she could whip something up from the plants she picked up on the mountain. There was no way she had time to make a full strength potion, but maybe just eating the plant alone would be enough to keep her alive, not that it mattered much at this point.

“Warning: major damage to left hind leg of user. Extra-strength health potion suggested. Number carried: 0.” Nyota took one more look around the hut. In the corner, by a dirty mattress and some half-burnt papers, she saw a small blue flower growing out of the dirt floor. It reminded her of the blue mountain flower she picked climbing the mountain. Maybe it would be just what she needed. She crawled over to it, leaving a trail of blood. The gunfire died down, but the banging on the door did not.

“Warning: major damage to primary muscles in left hind leg of user. Extra-strength health potion and cauterization suggested. This device is not certified to cauterize wounds. Number of Extra-strength health potions carried: 0.” Nyota pulled herself onto the mattress, panting and starting to get dizzy. She rolled to her side and faced the flower. She knew there wasn’t anything it could do now, but she still reached out her right hoof to pick it.

“Warning: poison joke pollen detected. Green vine with light blue flower. Avoid at all costs. Extremely dangerous.”

Wait, what was that?

As soon as she touched the flower, vines sprang out of the ground and wrapped themselves around Nyota’s hoof. They held her down as more vines grew out and formed an enormous leafy mass in front of her.

Nyota looked on in horror as the giant, writhing ball of vines before her began to take shape. Two thick vines sprung out the front, two more out the back, then more swirled around them, and more, until each of the four original vines was now several layers thick, and as long as Nyota’s leg. The plant ball now took a more elongated shape, and a single vine slid out behind it.

Four appendages and another in the back. If she weren’t slowly losing consciousness, Nyota would have figured it out sooner. The poison joke was forming a body. A zebra body. It wasn’t until the plant grew a neck and a head that she finally put it together.

The plant shook its legs and moved its neck as if to crack it. It got down on its knees and, without eyes, peered directly at the face of the zebra who had touched it and whose hoof was still trapped in the vines. The vines in the creature’s head rearranged themselves, forming a mouth. It began to speak to her.

“Why hello there! How are you?” it greeted pleasantly, giving the mare a toothless smile.

The shock and horror that Nyota felt was now replaced with bewilderment. She was stunned at how closely the plant’s voice was to that of a normal zebra mare, so much so that if she were going by voice alone she would probably it was just a normal zebra. She had not expected this creature to let her live, much less strike up conversation. Worse yet, it started a conversation that had a painfully (in multiple senses of the word) obvious answer.

Getting a bit snappy in her worsening delirium, Nyota answered, “I’ve been better. How about you?”

The plant grew a smile larger than any real zebra physically could, and tried to clap, but the only noise it made was the rustling of leaves. It then turned and walked over to the shelf of locked metal chests.

“Finally, I found someone with a sense of humor! You would not believe how many zebras answer with ‘I’m dying, help me!’ or ‘What do you mean how are you?’ or ‘HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!’” It paused for a moment to look at the mare. “That last one is probably the most common.”

The plant creature held its “hoof” up to the padlock on one of the metal boxes. Tiny vines extended from it and went into the keyhole. It fiddled around with the tumblers inside until an audible click alerted the plant that it was unlocked. It then pulled off the padlock and unwrapped the chain from the box.

“Think I saw the lady put something in here you could use.” It flipped open the lid, reached in, and pulled out a murky red potion. “Ah, this should be just what the robo-doctor ordered. Red means health potion, right? You’d think I’d know, I probably have a friend in here.”

Nyota looked at the plant flabbergasted. Was this thing really cracking jokes while she was bleeding out? What was it, even? Could she trust it? It had her tied to the ground, but it was also offering her what seemed to be a health potion. But even if she had had the strength to move her free arm, she wouldn’t have bothered to scan the potion before drinking it. At this point, poison was the least of her concerns.

It had a sense of humor, so she figured it might be in her best interest to keep the mood light. “Well, how about you bring your friend on over here?” she requested. “I’ll tell you whether he was worth juicing.”

The plant giggled as it trotted at a painfully slow pace to Nyota. “Well, most of my friends are pretty lazy, so if he is in here I can’t guarantee he’ll do any real work fixing you up,” it commented. Another vine emerged and popped the cork stopper off the potion. It then poured the potion into the zebra’s mouth from much too high up, spilling some of it over her nose and chin.

Nyota’s pain subsided a little. She felt the magical energy flow through her, but it faded away quickly. This was definitely not an extra-strength health potion, and maybe not even standard-strength. It was enough to stop the bleeding so far as she could tell, but she was still missing quite a lot of blood, and she couldn’t move three out of four legs thanks to either injuries or restraints.

She lifted her left foreleg and looked at the screen on her BrewBuck. It was flashing red to warn her that she had come in contact with poison joke, but she just ignored it and pressed the button to show medical readouts. Pretty much what she expected. All the same body parts are still in horrible condition, but at least they weren’t getting any worse, and her BrewBuck wasn’t reporting any infections, so if nothing else she wasn’t going to die from that then and there. She had yet to figure out whether the same could be said for the poison joke warning.

“So, Ms. plant thingy, are you going to kill me?” Nyota asked directly.

“Nah,” the plant answered casually. “It’s the rest of my family that are the unforgiving, emotionless killers. I find that a bit boring myself; there are better ways to spend your time.”

Nyota ignored the personal comment, and perked up at the mention of danger. “Wait a minute, you’ve got family who’ll kill me without even caring? Are they nearby? Could they get to me?” she asked worriedly. She had enough problems at this point

“They won’t come in so long as I’m here. I don’t think they like hanging out with me all that much,” it replied. “They’re right outside, though, if you want to say hi. Didn’t you notice?”

For the first time since touching the flower Nyota returned her attention to the noises outside. The banging at the door had disappeared, but the gunfire persisted. It was more distant, no longer ricocheting off the side of the hut. Rifle shots were constant, fully automatic barrages rather than the disciplined three-shot burst. They weren’t shooting at her, they were shooting everywhere.

Just then, from outside, came a scream so loud that Nyota had to cover one ear with her free hoof.

“That was probably Roger’s doing,” the plant commented. “He’s always going on about how loud he can make them scream. Someone who won’t shut up about making other people scream: how ironic is that?”

The zebra mare just stared at the odd plant in front of her.

The plant took the silence as a good time for introductions. “Oh, I never said my own name, did I?” it noted. “It’s April.”

The plant lowered its head and grinned at the mare. “Get it?”

Nyota thought about it for a moment. “April. As in April Foals Day. When everyone plays pranks on one another.”

The plant performed another leafy clap. “Hey, you are a clever one!”

The mare still wasn’t sure if she could trust this thing, but she supposed she might as well return the greeting. A name no one in the Savanna knew wasn’t really that much to give away. “My name is Nyota,” she said, “Get it?”

The plant finally put on a frown. “Sorry, no. I don’t know ancient Zebra. Sounds nice though! What’s it mean?”

The mare was the one smiling now. “Maybe I’ll tell you later,” she teased, “Like when you take these vines off my leg.”

The plant was taken aback at the sudden change of topic. “Well, about that...” it mumbled.

Nyota sighed. “Let me guess, this isn’t coming off for free, right?”

The plant let out an awkward chuckle and answered, “I had been hoping to strike a deal, yes.”

The mare slapped her forehead with her only free hoof. She was already on a mission, she couldn’t afford to do any favors, much less give in to threats. This was a poison joke plant, though, and her BrewBuck had made express interest in telling her they are not to be messed with. She wasn’t even entirely sure it could be killed. It had gone silent outside, so she assumed none of the Blue Demons had figured out how, and since the tribe was much more well equipped for this than her, she could only assume that her own attempts would fail just the same. Maybe if she was lucky this could help her out in the long run.

Nyota asked it straightforwardly, “Okay, April the talking plant monster, what do you want from me?”

April donned another impossibly wide smile. “Simple!” it replied, “Wherever you are going, take me with you.”

Nyota waited to hear more, but that was the end of its request. All it wanted to do was go along for the ride, without even knowing what that entailed. This was a very odd request, and she failed to see why it needed to resort to holding her captive. There had to be more.

“And why, exactly, do you want to go where I’m going if you have no idea where that is or why I’m even going there?” she inquired.

“Because I just want to go somewhere!” the plant replied enthusiastically. “In case you aren’t an expert botanist, I should tell you that plants have roots. As you were so quick to point out, I am indeed a plant. While the fun part of me is free from the ground to do whatever I want-” it demonstrated this by doing a small, solo can-can routine, “-My roots have to stay pretty much where they are, and my body has to stay pretty close to them. Roots aren’t like vines, they can’t just shoot around, they stay the same size and move very, very slowly. It took my family about a week just to get here from the North face of the mountain.”

Nyota looked back at her hoof covered in vines. Sure enough, they were all connected to the original flower’s roots.

“So...” it was hard to put it all together when she was still so light-headed. “You want me to become your walking flower pot, and in return you let me live?”

“More than that!” the plant remarked, “I’ll be your best buddy! We can hang out, take long walks, hunt down raiders, ride tandem bikes, you know, best friend stuff! I’ll even make you dinner! It’s the least I can do for literally treating you like dirt.”

“And what if one day I just decide you’re getting annoying and scrape your roots off my leg?”

“Well, then I should tell you that poison joke only takes effect the night after exposure, so as long as you keep that little bit on you you’ll be fine. But if you leave me in the middle of the desert, you better have a mirror ready for when you wake up next morning.” The plant quickly changed to a serious tone and continued, “If you wake up next morning.”

Nyota considered the offer. An ally would be nice, especially since she was still getting used to the Savanna. But this thing wasn’t really an ally, just something that considered her useful for its own needs. It could stab her in the back any time it felt like it. The potion and apparent protection from the Blue Demons and its family was nice, but it didn’t exactly ensure loyalty. Still, this creature had already shown that it could pick a lock, and she guessed that it could probably take her in a fight, so having it on her side would be useful.

No matter how she thought about it, it all came down to one thing. “Well, I’m not really getting out of here unless I say yes.” She took a deep breath before finally answering, “April, you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Whoopee!” The plant screamed as it shot up into the air and hit its head on the motionless ceiling before falling back down. “Ow. But yes! Very happy! I can finally get away from this boring ol’ bunch of chlorophyll I call family.”

The vines on Nyota’s arm recessed back into the root of the plant which was now wrapped firmly around her foreleg. She pulled her hoof off the ground and looked at her newly forced accessory. It was clinging so tight it almost wasn’t visible under her striped coat. It wasn’t really tight enough to cause any problems, though, but it was definitely tighter than the BrewBuck on her other leg. A single flower bud sat just above the wrist.

The mare pulled herself up, but after feeling the pain decided to just rest on her forelegs. “So what now?” she asked.

“As much as I want to start our amazing journey, full of danger, intrigue, action, romance, mystery, et cetera, I think it’d be better if we took both took a little nap till morning,” it suggested.

“I prefer the night,” she remarked.

“And I prefer partial shade; we can’t all get what we want.” the plant snapped. “You need the sleep, and I need... well, nothing really, but I still think we should wait it out until tomorrow when my family’s all busy basking in the sunlight.”

Nyota was fully aware that she needed to sleep, she just didn’t want to. She was wasting a perfectly good night just because her legs were a little more shot at than usual. Maybe she could make a potion, or just take a quick look outside. Something other than just lying on the mattress because she was tired and dizzy. Then again, it was a rather comfortable mattress, and really just an hour would be enough. Yeah, she’d just take a quick nap for an hour maybe.

April trotted over to Nyota and placed its hoof up to hers. In a trick that had to disobey several laws of physics, the entirety of the plant’s zebra-sized body unraveled itself and slid into the few feet of roots wrapped on her leg.

Nyota spoke to the plant on her leg. “You’re not a normal poison joke, are you, April?”

The flower on her wrist turned toward Nyota and spoke to her in April’s voice, moving its petals like lips, “Nope. I’ll tell you tomorrow. Good night, Nyota, my new travelling buddy.”

Nyota laid on her back and chuckled at the ridiculous situation she’d gotten herself into just one day out of the cave. This was going to get interesting.

“Good night to you too, April.”

Footnote: Level Up.
New Perk: Last Laugh -That poison joke on your hoof isn’t just for show. When fighting unarmed, you have a 10% chance of infecting enemies with poison joke.

-----------------------------------------------------

Co-written by Mr. ShinyObject and Doctor Felix Whooves
Edited by Twilight Sparkle

This fanfiction is based on Fallout Equestria by Kkat; a familiarity with the source material may aid your understanding.

You can read Fallout Equestria by Kkat on Equestria Daily

The Fallout: Equestria logo used above was designed by DotRook, who, according to the original deviantArt page, allows usage in supplementary materials created for and associated with the series. Images really do make a difference, so he has our eternal gratitude and respect.

If you enjoy Fallout Equestria Side Stories, you will want to check the Fallout Equestria Side Stories post on Equestria Daily and the Fallout Equestria Side Stories thread on Ponychan

The Ponychan group is also a hatching ground that you can join if you want to share your experience, writing or comments with us.

Comments

[MrShinyObject]

Author's note: We are currently looking for someone to make us a cover. The reason we haven't gotten one yet is because we weren't sure whether anyone could/would draw the character introduced at the end of Chapter 2. If you think you can or know someone who can, please tell me.

[fuck mcdickbutt]

791969A guy named Mark Garb Von Herb. If you mention me, hell give you 20% off.

[fuck mcdickbutt]

I can also make you some theme music...

[MrShinyObject]

You sure he can pull it off? All I've seen him do so far is normal ponies, nothing with that much complexity. But I suppose for those prices... I guess I'll give him a try.

I'll pass on the theme music though, at least for now.

[fuck mcdickbutt]

Nice! I'll tell 'im about it. PM him with what you want.