May - 2012 (T.W.G.)

by The Writer's Group

Celestia Eats Cake - KartalTheWriter

Author: KartalTheWriter

Prompt: Celestia and cake.

Title: Celestia Eats Cake

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It was beautiful: over five feet tall, chocolate infested, sugar injected, icing coated, softness tested, delectable, delicious, mouth-watering, taste-defying, mind-altering cake!

And Celestia was going to eat the whole thing herself. In one sitting. And no pony was going to stop her…
Then came the infernal knock at the door. Celestia caught herself; she was about to get mad at whoever was going to interrupt her feast. That was not ladylike. Celestia must show a good example to the lesser ponies.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” Celestia shouted at the door. In the outburst, the door had come off the hinges. Oh well. That could be easily fixed. Celestia’s patience, however, was a different matter entirely.
The pony at the door, who was just a lowly mail pony, was shaking and cowering and groveling, and doing all manner of unpleasant things.

“WELL?” Celestia fixed her now twitching eye on the messenger. The poor earth pony couldn’t speak, but he pulled a letter out of his mailbag and held it out to the Princess. Growling in frustration, the Princess snatched the letter from the mail pony and slapped it on the table to read it.

Needless to say, the mail pony fled after Celestia had released him from her levitation. It was said that he immediately pledged his sole allegiance to Luna that day…But Celestia didn’t believe in rumors.
Celestia looked at the note and without even opening it began to compliment it.

“The handwriting on the front is completely ugly, the envelope is greasy, I think someone smashed a fly on the front, and the stamp is of Luna and not me. Therefore it is USELESS!” and with that, Celestia made the poor, innocent letter go boom.

“BOOM!” Celestia laughed as she watched the fragments of paper catch fire like a dying phoenix.

“Except you’ll never haunt me again!” And then Celestia laughed like crazy.

Suddenly, she just stopped and coughed softly and very girlishly.

“Maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time alone. Maybe if I spent more time with other ponies I wouldn’t get into these moods. Luna did tell me to lay off the extra ingredients in my cakes…” With her thoughts running back to that beautiful piece of perfection sitting on the table in front of her, Celestia sighed lovingly and admired her cake for another few seconds.

“You don’t have the special ingredients, though. You came straight from the bakeries of Sugarcube Corner, down in Ponyville. Now don’t you just feel so special?”

The cake did not answer back. This angered the Princess.

“So you think this is funny, do you? Well I’ll show you!”

But before Celestia could give that cake some good old fashioned cartoon violence, a green wisp of smoke swirled in front of her face. She caught the scroll before it landed on her precious cake, fortunately. She recognized the name on the scroll and suddenly became a different pony.

“Oh! It’s my faithful student Twilight! I wonder what she has to say today!” Celestia read the letter with interest, then tossed it on the pile with the rest unenthusiastically.

“Definitely losing her touch.” Celestia muttered, turning back to her cake. But the cake was nowhere to be found.

“WHERE IS MY CAKE?!” Celestia roared, knocking over the table in her rage.

There was a faint smacking sound and Celestia turned to see Luna, licking icing off her lips.

The rest is too disturbing for words. Let’s just say that Luna’s been on the moon ever since that day…

Comments

[Bandy]

More categories? More awesome.

[Lucefudu]

Fuck, I love Owlor's drawings.
Especially the mindfuck ones.

[AscensionToParadise]

Next challenge: Luna eats a jar of dirt.

[psp7master]

I am so proud of this group... *sniff*

[Distrance]

ponibooru.413chan.net/_images/8a1139d156dff270703e91e2446226e8/14915%2520-%2520animated%2520artist%253Amihaaaa%2520clapping%2520clopplauding%2520gif%2520rainbow_dash%2520reaction_image%2520reaction_ponies.gif
Excellent as always!

[HP Hatecraft]

I can hear this chapter calling my name...