Bright.
It was too bright here. Sunset vainly tried to squeeze her eyes shut against the light, covering her face with her hooves, but it was piercing, merciless. She was reasonably sure she could see through her own flesh and bone, so bright it was. She turned away from the source as best she could manage and forced herself to look around.
The vast darkness of the void greeted her. An infinite array of the stars, twinkling in the cosmos cheerfully, their luminescence nothing to the blazing...something behind her. She gaped, glancing down to see she stood on nothing, and yet surely there was something there. Experimentally, she tapped the spot she stood on, but received no sound in return to tell her what it was. It took her a moment more to notice the swirling sparks moving around her in a current.
Sunset hesitated. The motes seemed to beckon her forward, away from the terrible light at her back. She became uncomfortably aware of the sheer heat the thing cast on her, and decided that perhaps getting away from it would be ideal. However...she looked about again. There was no obvious path for her hooves, but then there wasn't anything she seemed to be standing on to begin with. A seed of annoyance bloomed in her mind; this was stupid. Standing here forever would achieve nothing.
She shrugged to herself, and stepped forward carefully, relieved and confused when her hoof found purchase on an invisible surface. Another experimental step, and another spot for her hooves to be. Sunset exhaled, nerves already frayed, and moved forward.
Twilight stared slack-jawed at the blackened glyph in the floor, not quite taking notice of the still smoldering carpet or table. There was no thought process. There was no thought at all. There was only the scorched sun on the floor, where Sunset, her Sunset, had just been, and she and Celestia had vanished in a blast of power she'd only seen the likes of a hoof-full of times.
The room was terribly silent, the only real sound the gentle hoof-falls against carpet as Luna sidled over to the smaller pony and took a seat next to her. The alicorn said nothing, apparently preferring companionable silence.
The seconds ticked by.
Finally, a thought bloomed in Twilight's head: What happened?
A single, uncomprehending, insistent question that reverberated off the walls of her mind. With it came other, ancillary queries: What did Celestia do? What was that magic? Where did Sunset go? Was she banished? The Princess wouldn't--
The deluge became exponential. Twilight's mouth worked soundlessly as she shook her head, disbelief finally registering on her face. Luna seemed to tense beside her, laying a hoof reassuringly on her shoulder. The act reminded Twilight that there was another pony present, and she rounded on the larger mare with a face torn between distraught and baffled.
“What was that?! What happened?”
“Calm thyself, Twilight Sparkle.” Luna spoke, her voice soothing as she raised a silver-shod hoof. “Sunset Shimmer is in no danger--”
“She must have cast some kind of translocation spell! I can trace the aether path if I start right now.” Twilight seemed to ignore the older pony as she went to work, horn alight with a magenta glow as her eyes shimmered. “Even if it was a stupendously powerful teleport, every jump leaves behind a remnant of--no, wait. There's no path to follow...unless it's a different KIND of translocation! Princess Celestia's magic might be influenced by the sun, so of course it would be on a different spectral wavelength--” Twilight's work was feverish. She had to solve this; she HAD to. It wasn't until she noticed that her spellwork was unraveling from the beginning that she realized that Luna was also using her magic.
“Princess Luna, what are you doing?!”
“I am stopping you from taking rash, undue action, Twilight Sparkle.” Luna stated simply. She wore a sardonic smile as she worked; Twilight felt a rush of pure, unvarnished rage at the idea that she dared smirk like that when Twilight was working so hard to...to...to what?
“...Ah, now you see. Come, sit with me.” She beckoned the smaller pony to her. Twilight moved to sit with her, brow still creased in irritation.
“Now, to give due credit: Your process of elimination was elementary, but efficient nevertheless. I must admit that your grasp of anchoring magic is very impressive, considering your scant years.” Luna smiled as she pulled the forgotten tea set to her. She pulled the lid from the pot and sniffed, making a face. “Urgh, jasmine. Why my sister drinks this swill, I do not know. A moment...”
She concentrated, and a new teapot appeared, this one a simple unadorned black, and bearing a small white crescent stamp on the side.
“Ah, this will do. How do you take breakfast tea?” Luna inquired, her tone conversational.
“Breakfast tea? It's almost dinner time, though....” Twilight tilted her head, anger momentarily forgotten in her confusion and slight indignation at the improper consumption of a designated breakfast beverage.
“You will find one of the perks of being royalty, and indeed a mare grown before that, is that you are quite entitled to decide when you will take your tea, whatever the tea in question.” Luna answered with a hint of smugness in her voice. “In fact, my sister is notorious for eating largely whatever she pleases whenever she likes. As she says, 'it keeps the kitchen staff on their hooves.' But enough of that. Please, Twilight, be at ease.” She beckoned again for Twilight to take a seat (on the side opposite the new hole in the table, apparently unconcerned for it).
Twilight faced a brief internal battle, the conflict showing on her face as she glanced back to the cooling, scorched stone...but decided ultimately that she wasn't likely to be able to sway Luna, and grumpily took a seat near the Moon Princess.
“Good, good. Now, I hazard you wish for an explanation?” Luna's asked.
“Of course I want an explanation! Sunset and Princess Celestia just vanished! By all appearances Princess Celestia vaporized Sunset!” Twilight cried, anxiety overpowering her restraint with remarkable ease, to her own distant shame. “I know that's probably not what happened, but--”
“Oh, that is more or less what happened.” The older mare's airy response stunned her. “But only in the most technical sense; it was a very old form of spatial movement magic. You likely understand teleportation as opening a pinhole in space and time and forcing something through it, such as yourself.”
Twilight's didactic instinct kicked in, responding, “That's a very simplified explanation of the complex mathemagical process involved in--”
“Mathemagical? You modern magi make it sound so clinical; it need not be so...but I digress.” Luna interrupted, opening one eye with a frown. “In any case, Celestia's spell was much more...brute force, if that makes any sense. Normally one slips through space, as I am sure you know. But when you need to go somewhere terribly far away, or to another plane...say, the Realm of Dreams, you need to change your approach.”
“Brute...force? Why would Princess Celestia need to brute force anything? She's probably the best magician on the planet! Er, I mean...” Twilight blinked, realizing the implication of her statement. Luna only offered a wry smile in return.
“Worry not, that is simple fact. But here is a secret I wager you did not know of me or my sister.” she leaned over to Twilight, muttering conspiratorially, “I am the technically superior magus.”
Twilight's face scrunched in confusion. “But you just agreed she was the best magician!”
“The best in matters of pure power, perhaps. Celestia can certainly summon more raw power than I can, all else equal...but you will find that my statement is still true. My technique is superior to hers, or it was back in the day. I admit that my...long sojourn put me out of practice and she has improved much since then, but I am rapidly returning to my previous proficiency. Working with the mind is very delicate, after all.” Luna allowed herself another prideful smile. “You may find that I can teach you things she could not.”
Twilight blinked slowly. What could Luna know that Celestia did not? Her firsthoof knowledge of millenia-old magic would be fascinating to--
An insistent, irritable voice chimed in, reminding her to focus.
“But what does that have to do with Sunset?!”
“Ah, yes. My apologies. Celestia's translocation was, as I said, an archaic one that works by tearing apart the subject at an essential level and reassembling them in anther location. It is...quite painful, when done poorly, but it does allow a magus to move objects in more dimensions than the mere three we are accustomed to.”
“Sunset and Celestia were moved in...another dimension?” Twilight echoed, disbelieving. “That's not possible...” Even as she said that, she already knew how wrong she was. She herself had been through time. And more, the human world was certainly nowhere on Equus, so the only logical answer was that it was in another place...or perhaps time.
“Indeed! As I noted, it is a terribly inelegant and wasteful method of doing so, but it certainly works quickly if one has the reserves for it, as my sister does.” Luna took poured a cup of her tea and took a sip, swallowing before speaking to Twilight. “But you have experienced this yourself, have you not?”
“Sunset.”
The mare herself started, looking about in shock. The voice of Celestia seemed to be all around her. She stopped and squinted as a pale shape resolved itself to her left, the alicorn bare of her regalia and crown, seated and staring at the sun behind Sunset (what else could it be?).
Instinct made Sunset trot over to Celestia, something about her posture making her worry. The older mare seemed so much smaller than she ought to, in her mind. It was like she was wearing something unbearably heavy, head bowed slightly, normally luminescent mane and tail still and tending toward a soft pink more than the chromatic arrangement it normally held.
“Princess?”
Celestia turned to face her, a wan expression on her face. It was the strangest thing; she didn't carry any of the markers of old age that other ponies did. Her face was without lines, her coat full as ever, horn still needle sharp at the tip...but at this moment, to Sunset, she seemed so terribly ancient. “Are you alright?”
“Me?” Celestia chuckled, pulling Sunset into a hug. “I should ask you that. How do you feel?”
Sunset leaned against Celestia, head against her shoulder as she basked in the warmth and security of her mentor's wing. Celestia wrapped a forelimb around her, perhaps wishing to indulge that maternal moment herself.
“I'm...well, I'm confused. Where are we? What did you do? Why are we just sitting here?”
“In order: We're...well, nowhere. I suppose you could call this a dream, albeit a very different one than the ones Luna protects. I brought you here, as an approximation of something that happened to me long ago. I hoped to learn something about you, to try to understand you. And I'm sitting here because I was waiting for you.” Celestia paused. Her voice was tinged, only slightly, with sadness as she finished, “...just one more time, can you humor an old mare?”
“Humor you?” Sunset asked, confused.
“Yes.” Celestia nodded, looking down at the smaller pony. “Can you listen to me, just for a little while?”
“I mean, I can, but did you bring me here just to talk?”
“There is that, yes...but I also brought you here to bring out the truth within you.” She waited a moment before continuing. “Mind you, I did not think you were lying. But if you are an alicorn, to remain as you were would only bring you grief in the long run. I didn't want that for you.”
Sunset sat up, tilting her head. “I don't understand.”
Celestia hummed, seemingly choosing her words carefully. “When you leave this place, you'll return as you are. As you truly are.”
The words made Sunset frown...but then it clicked. “...I'll be an alicorn.”
“You already were, Sunset. I only sought to save you a great deal of agony. A gradual transformation is...quite painful. New muscles, bones forcing their way through your skin and fur, pushing aside all else without regard to your discomfort...it's unpleasant, I assure you.” Celestia shuddered; Sunset gaped. Celestia almost never yielded to physical tics. “I couldn't have you suffer through that.”
A pregnant pause passed between them. After a moment, Sunset spoke.
“...so that's it, then. The secret's out. Equestria will know.”
Celestia nodded. “It may.”
“What's going to happen to me?” Sunset's stomach was hollow with dread; even though she already knew the answer, it wasn't any easier to ask.
“That depends on you, Sunset Shimmer.” Celestia stood with a soft grunt. “Come with me.”
And away they paced, Sunset trailing behind the Solar Princess. For a time, they walked in companionable silence. Ultimately her curiosity won out, and Sunset asked,
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
Celestia didn't answer immediately, again showing uncharacteristic hesitation before speaking. “...I suppose I just want to have peace of mind. To clear the air.”
“Peace of mind?”
Celestia nodded. “I'm sure you feel that I've wronged you. I have, certainly. I've wronged a lot of ponies, though I doubt many are at all aware just how much I've done, save Luna.” She turned to look at Sunset before continuing, “It is perhaps my most glaring flaw, out of the many.”
Sunset's face fell uncomfortably. “I...”
“Please, Sunset. I won't fault you for saying what you will. Not here.” Celestia stopped, looking upwards (was there an up in a place with no visual indicators of a surface?). One of the sparks had frozen, drifting down to hover between them and pulse with a gentle light.
“...What are these?”
“Memories, I suspect, though they could also be dreams, flights of fancy.” Celestia smiled. “I must say, they've been most skittish with me.”
Sunset blinked, bristling as the information registered in her mind. “So you're just sifting through me again. After everything, after getting Luna to come into my dreams--”
“I know, Sunset. I know.” Celestia's normally flawless face seemed exhausted, somehow. It was subtle, but it was there, she knew it. Sunset hesitated; she hadn't expected Celestia to wilt. “Your anger with me is...entirely understandable. I've been intemperate with you, and undeservedly so.”
The elder pony inhaled, and continued, “I have wronged you, in many ways. In the beginning, when I didn't do what had to be done to discourage your pride before it became suffocating arrogance. When I let my emotions get the better of me, and sent you away without considering what you might do. When you returned, and I set my sister upon you.” She stopped, a strange anxiety coming to her eyes. “When I left you on the other side of that mirror. I...I nearly destroyed it, you know? I thank all creation that I hesitated, but if I had...” She reasserted the facade before continuing, “...despite all that, Sunset, I want you to know that everything I have ever done, from the moment they put that damnable tiara on my head to this moment, here and now, was for my little ponies.”
She paused, looking to Sunset significantly. “It is not a justification. It is not an excuse. But it is the truth. It was and has always been, and always will be my reason for doing what I have.”
Sunset wasn't sure how to respond to that. How did one respond to such a statement? “That doesn't change anything!”
“No, it does not.” Celestia noted, sadly. “It does not.”
“So...so what? That's all? That's all you wanted to say?” Sunset asked, seething anger rising. “'Sorry I hurt you, but I did it for a good cause' and that's that?”
Celestia paused again, looking away. “I have spent so long with every waking moment devoted to the sole purpose of keeping this nation and its ponies alive. So that they can have their little happiness...” She looked at Sunset, expression a tired one. “You don't think it's an acceptable reason. I'm not sure I do, either. But whether I like it or not is irrelevant.
“Even when the ponies closest to me were--are hurt. It has to be done. If I didn't, then...” She gave a humorless laugh. “Luna, Starswirl, countless others. You. Twilight.” Celestia's face lost its spent quality, turning to sorrow at those last two. “I knew what I had done. I knew that once she had a chance to think, really consider what had happened, the weight of what her destiny meant would come down on her. But Equestria needed her. We will need her again.”
Sunset's heart sank. “Then you know how she feels?”
“I didn't know for certain, but I had my suspicions. Twilight, bless her heart, thinks the world of me still, despite her own grievances. Pushes them aside, because she thinks I know best.” Celestia wore a rueful smile. “I never meant for her to become so frighteningly devoted. Her loyalty is flattering, in a way, but it's no good if it crosses over into trust so blind that she's driven to madness trying to please me.”
Celestia stopped, looking away again. “...but I digress. This place won't stay quiescent for long. Your memories, such as they are, are not open, like Twilight's were. Perhaps because mine is an imperfect recreation of that place? I have considered attempting to open them...but it seemed disingenuous, after all that's been said and done.” She looked to Sunset, the wan smile returning. “Perhaps it's time for me to put my bits where my mouth is, as the saying goes. I am sorry, Sunset, but I must ask you one more time to humor an old mare's rambling.”
Sunset stared at the spark before her quizzically, the little mote of light offering no response. “So you want me to show you my memories?”
“No, not if you don't want to.” Celestia stated. Sunset raised a brow in confusion. “I have a different request, one much more weighty and personal, and we're running out of time.”
Sunset felt a rush of conflicting emotions; a sense of dread overcame her at the solemn tone Celestia spoke in, crashing against a great warmth at the diarch's choice to respect her privacy. Maybe they...
“Sunset Shimmer, when we leave this place, things will change. For you, for Twilight, and perhaps for all of us. My request is...” She hesitated, apparently unsure if she wanted to continue, but she sallied forth.
“Sunset...would you stay? Here, in Equestria? With Twilight? With me?”
Sunset blinked. “You want me to stay?”
“I do.”
“...what do you want me to do?” Sunset felt that hollow, paradoxical satisfaction of the pessimist proven correct. “Wear an illusion spell all the time? I can't live here as an alicorn, Princess. Ponies would notice. They'd ask questions, and what happens when I slip up? I'll slip up...” She grumbled. “I...What if I decide to go back to the other side?” Sunset asked.
“Then my request changes. I must ask that you remain near the portal at all times, and do everything you can to prevent it from being discovered by anypony else.” Celestia stated firmly. “It's already known among the other humans at the school, students and staff alike?”
Sunset nodded, brow furrowed. “Yeah, it is. But it's treated as a sort of urban legend the further away from town you get.”
“Then I would ask that you keep it that way.” Celestia spoke gravely. “I read over the history book you brought me. It painted a...a grim picture of these humans. If somepony--ah, somebody, is it? If somebody learns of our world, the consequences could be disastrous. You must be prepared to destroy the portal...and you must be prepared to accept that I may destroy the opening on this side.”
Sunset blanched. “Destroy it?! But how would I--How would Twilight--”
Celestia's face softened. “I know, Sunset. I won't force you to stay here, but the portal must absolutely be watched at all times, and closed unless absolutely necessary. The risk is too great. I don't want to strand you on the other side, but if it comes down to you or my little ponies, I can only make one decision. You know that. If you go back to the other side, but do not want to maintain that vigil, then I will close the portal. Permanently, most likely.”
Sunset grimaced, a sick feeling in her stomach. “I...yeah. I know. That's...I wouldn't want to endanger Equestria on my account...so if I want the freedom to go between here and there, you want me to promise to watch the portal.”
A distant sense of indignation rose within her: who was Celestia to decide where she could go or not, to assign her tasks?
The answer came to her with unpleasant clarity: sovereign of the realm. Moreover...the mirror, strictly speaking, belonged to her. She'd already stated she would destroy it, if necessary...but why would she do that now? She'd had it for so long, so it must have been precious to her in some way...
But did that matter? She was still entirely able to break it on demand, if she was so inclined, whatever her reason. If she did, then Sunset's only avenue to her friends would be cut off.
“It's not the only choice you could make, of course.” Celestia continued, voice impassive. Sunset looked up, warily.
“You mean I could stay here.”
“You could.”
“What would happen to me?” Sunset asked, dreading the answer. “Ponies aren't going to overlook an alicorn, no matter where she's found.”
“They will not. If you stay with Twilight, you will absolutely need to conceal your nature as best you're able, and as before, I must demand the portal remain closed unless necessary. I am sorry.” Celestia spoke sadly. “I do not want to break your friendships, but...again, my ponies must come first.”
“...right.” Sunset concluded bitterly. “If I stay on this side, I won't be able to just go over whenever I like. I'll get to stay here, with Twilight, but I won't see my friends very much, and I'll be living a lie the entire time. Wings, but not able to fly.” She chuckled humorlessly. “Typical. I'll have something amazing and not be able to enjoy it.”
“There is a corollary to that second option.” said Celestia, her expression appraising. “If you are determined to live in the open, then ponies will know that you're an alicorn. And...they will have expectations of you, especially as your relationship with Twilight makes it into the open--and it will. Believe me.” Celestia snorted, annoyance uncharacteristically clear. “Those paparazzi sorts are frighteningly effective at going where they're not meant to.”
“They're an issue for humans, too.” Sunset remarked dryly.
“Is that so? Unfortunate...but again, I digress.” Celestia inhaled and continued. “If you decide to live in the open, then I would like to coronate you.”
“You would coronate ME?” Sunset felt the emptiness in her stomach widen...but with it, a strange sort of thrill. She tried to push it away with common sense. “Princess...I don't...I can't.”
“Why not?” Celestia inquired, no judgment in her face or voice. Just patient curiosity. In a way, it was worrying to Sunset; it felt as through a trick question were being asked and a thoughtless answer would only damn her further.
“Princess Celestia, I--” The words she needed to say came to mind easily enough, but actually saying them was titanically difficult. She wasn't worthy of any crown, least of all one of Equestria's. Not after everything.
Ponykind ill needed a Princess such as Sunset Shimmer.
And yet, a memory came forward, unbidden.
Sunset recalled her dream from last night.
It had been strange, certainly. Jarring, but still. She closed her eyes, imagining.
She and Twilight, flying together. On their thrones, listening and dispensing wisdom.
Shoulder to shoulder with her, with Celestia, in finery of her own, with ponies waving at them, adoration on their faces, flower petals in the air, crowds cheering.
It was...
“...I'm not fit to wear a crown. I don't deserve it.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow slightly, only mild surprise on her face, as if inviting her to continue.
Sunset started, her heavy-hearted resignation now supplanted by surprise as she scrambled to elucidate. “I-I mean, I'm not qualified. I've got a rap-sheet including multiple counts of assault actual and attempted, blackmail, larceny, vandalism, petty browbeating and mind-control. And turning into a demoness.” She blinked. “And jaywalking.”
“...jaywalking?” Celestia echoed, a smirk on her face.
“I'm trying to pad the list, okay?” Sunset returned, a nervous smile on her face. “...but more than those things, I...” She gulped, steeling herself. “I'm just not qualified. Nope.”
Celestia fixed Sunset with piercing eyes and a strange smile. “You don't want it.”
The words came before she could restrain them: “Oh, I want it. I--I MEAN, I DON'T, I...aw, horsefeathers!” Sunset snarled, earning a disapproving look from her former mentor.
“Language, Sunset.”
“S-sorry. I--wait, I'm a grown mare.” Sunset scowled. “You can't--UGH!” She coughed and cleared her throat. “I...okay. I DO want it. I still want it. After all this time, the idea of wearing that crown is...intoxicating. Ponies looking up to me, coming to us for advice, keeping them safe...” She was only then aware of the small, longing smile on her face and hurriedly looked at the taller pony, now shameful. “That's what you said back then, all those years ago, right? Every time I said I wanted it only proved I didn't deserve it.”
“...it's important to remember the context of quotes. Moreover, you're paraphrasing me, which, as you should know, can distort the meaning of something said.” Celestia noted, smiling gently. “A basic mistake for someone who's written as many essays as you, Sunset Shimmer.”
Sunset couldn't help but smile sadly herself as nostalgia hit her. She blinked as Celestia continued,
“What I said back then was that every time you demanded power without effort, it proved you didn't deserve it yet.” She closed one eye, her smile now conspiratorial. “You've come a long way, haven't you?”
Sunset sighed, responding, “Twilight already had this talk with me--”
“Oh, did she? Bless her, this save us both time we don't have.” Celestia gave a musical laugh. “Let me ask you this, then: do you think it wrong to aspire to something?”
“Um...no.” Sunset blinked. “I mean, not normally, but we're talking about being a leader of a country, not being the best hoofball player there is.”
“Let me let you in on a secret then, Sunset. Inasmuch as it's a secret, anyway...” Celestia spoke airily. “To be leader of a nation is a stressful task. I'm sure Twilight could tell you a small sliver of how much so it is. It's not just being put on a pedestal. In order to earn that admiration, you have to give a lot of yourself.”
“I know that!” Sunset exclaimed defensively.
“Indeed? Then you must know that enjoying the perks that come with that stress is no crime. I frankly doubt any other pony in Equestria could get away with taking as much time as I do in the bath--except for Luna, perhaps.” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Don't mistake me, it's a job that I would rather hoof off to somepony else on many days, but it has to be us. Somepony else might get it wrong.” She wore a sardonic smile as she finished. “I would prefer to take advantage of the small joys my job gives me.”
“Okay, neat perks, awesome powers, hard job.” Sunset summated, exasperated. “It still doesn't mean I deserve it.”
Celestia gave Sunset a measuring expression. “...you're still thinking of it as a reward. I wonder...it is, in some ways.” She paused before continuing. “In another way, you understand that I'm essentially threatening to foist an unbearable burden on you?”
Sunset frowned, preparing herself to hear another lecture...but she was taken aback when Celestia settled down to her barrel, looking her in the eye.
“I believe you will find, if you accept it, that the crown is a profound duty--and it is--but also a delight--and it is! The ponies of the nation must be guided, led, and sometimes shown the error of their ways...but they must also be allowed to live and grow, unrestricted in some ways. That's the contradiction that my sister and I, that Cadance, and Twilight have to understand...especially Twilight.” She smiled. “You will find that our interpretations of that duty aren't perfect; some would say I lean too hard toward the former, and not enough to the latter, while I personally think Cadance is the opposite.”
Sunset found herself with a wry smile as Celestia stood again. “...you're really trying to sell this to me.”
Celestia's own expression became mildly rueful. “...I must admit, I very much hope that you will stay with us. I should be trying to present all options as equal, but I think just this once I'll yield to myself.” She gave Sunset the most tender smile the younger pony had ever seen on the alicorn's face. “I missed you so. And I...well. You know.” She trailed off, uncharacteristically sheepish.
“...they won't just accept me, though.” Sunset frowned. “Anyone who remembers who I was will definitely take issue.”
"They will.” Celestia said simply, Sunset surprised from the sudden force in her voice. “But I have spent a thousand years nudging this nation along. There will be detractors and malcontents, but they will accept it. They have no choice in the matter; I've indulged them long enough. It is my turn to be indulged.”
Sunset leaned away from Celestia slightly, perturbed by the the strangely sinister expression on her former teacher's face. “...just like that?”
“Just like that. Though I should construct an appropriate story for your arrival...” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, making a small oh! of interest when an idea hit her. She grinned at Sunset. “I have just the thing. It will shake things up a bit among the upper class, but they could use stirred up once in awhile, I think. How do you feel about being a long-lost relative?”
Sunset made a face, responding, “I'm a long-lost something or other....So you're okay with shocking your nation's citizens fundamentally as long as their bodies are okay?”
“I think you're underestimating my little ponies, Sunset. They have been witness to a number of dire calamities in recent memory; one more alicorn might well be greeted with indifference at this juncture.” She paused, noting Sunset's incredulous expression. “...an exaggeration. I hope.”
Sunset blinked. There it was, then. She could have it all, if she wanted it.
But should she have it?
Sunset Shimmer closed her eyes again, and breathed deep. She could feel Celestia's expectant eyes upon her.
All that she'd done, beginning to end, good and bad and in-between, came back to her. She could feel a warmth spreading from her hooves to her horn. It was a gentle thing, wrapping her in a blanket of heat that was somehow soothing. She opened her eyes, and flinched in surprise. The sparks of memory were rushing to her, joining together in a coat that was almost impossible to see through. She could only just perceive Celestia through the wall of lights.
“I suppose time's up...” Celestia's voice was subdued, as though she wasn't certain she believed what she saw.
Sunset felt the ground (or nondescript invisible surface) fall from beneath her, a bizarre pull lifting her into the air. The heat around her was rising rapidly, sparks apparently coming to surround her from everywhere. She screwed her eyes shut against the brightness, her forehooves waving ineffectually through the air as she realized that she was burning.
She curled in on herself, the roar of flame in her ears.
It was too bright.
She felt herself coming apart, could feel her flesh and bone and muscle crack and strain and shatter. She gave an almighty gasp, eyes snapping wide open as she arched backwards.
An image flashed in her mind of a small, soft violet feather, drifting in the wind.
Twilight had a problem.
Her proven stress-relief technique, taught by her very clever sister-in-law, was no longer working.
She and Luna had moved to the garden to get some fresh air and perhaps do a bit of stargazing while they waited for Sunset and Celestia to return from wherever (and whenever) they had gone. Twilight knew Luna was also hoping to simply distract her. It was less that she was being obvious and more that Twilight knew she just needed to be distracted.
It wasn't working, either.
She and Luna sat together silently, the diarch having long since given up on small talk and opting to...meditate? Twilight wasn't sure. Either way, it wasn't working for her.
Of course, Sunset consumed her thoughts. Where had she gone? What had happened to her? She shook her head silently, papping her cheeks with her hooves. She wasn't helping anything by driving herself into a frenzy. Once again, she inhaled and brought her hoof to her chest, trying in vain to exhale her worries.
It only served to remind her that it wasn't working.
She paced nervously around Luna, who sat silently, as though listening. A part of her resented the Moon Princess, who was apparently completely unconcerned with whatever fate had befallen her sister and Sunset. How could anypony be so nonchalant about this?
But what if she herself was just worrying too much? Maybe Luna had the right of it, and she needed to have faith in Princess Celestia and Sunset. Any minute now, surely, they'd return and--
Of course she'd want to believe that. That way she could ignore any responsibility she might've had for not protecting Sunset from--
From what? Princess Celestia? Even IF Celestia had meant Sunset harm, there would've been no way for Twilight to stop her, and Luna would surely intervene in such a case.
Would she? What if she--
She's here.
All other thoughts were pushed from her mind, something primal pulling her attention to the sky above the castle. Unbidden, her wings pumped. She distantly felt something holding her legs, felt only a minor, detached annoyance at her lack of progress. All else was fixated on the sky, on the pinprick of searing, terribly bright light that was rapidly swirling into something much more profound.
All at once, a massive blossom of flame erupted into the clouds, a wave of stifling heat overtaking the castle grounds. Everypony looked up, one servant dropping the basket in his teeth in shock. She couldn't hear the gasps and screams of surprise and fear. All sound was drowned out by a music so pure and sweet that she felt she might break down in tears. She didn't look away as the the vortex resolved itself into a most familiar effigy of the sun, arms of flame dancing merrily in the night as it hovered above the parapets and towers.
There it stayed, for but a moment, before it began descending and shrinking, the pure, elemental light it held casting a golden glow across all it touched. It reached the ground...and as if from an egg, the emblem faded, leaving behind a pony.
Twilight didn't feel the release of the force tugging on her as she approached the pony, in a strange daze. The pony stood, whipping her mane about and scattering sparkling motes before breathing out, taking in the mare before her with brilliant sea-green eyes. Behind her fiery locks two wings unfurled, flapping once and emitting a burst of glittering wind. She didn't even care that she too now seemed to sparkle in the moonlight.
“...hey, you.”
Twilight found herself suddenly very conscious of herself again, just in time for Sunset to step forward and nuzzle her gently, involuntarily bringing a silly smile and blush to her face as she returned the favor, savoring the strangely refreshing scent of Sunset's mane and coat.
They leaned away from one another, a sheepish smile on Sunset's face as Twilight beamed in pride. She leaned into Sunset again, feeling her chest would burst. Was it possible to reach a critical mass of joy? It never seemed to stop Pinkie, but--the line of inquiry died in her mind as she simply basked in the other mare's presence. She struggled to find the right words, but her eloquence was, as usual, nowhere to be found when she needed it.
“Sunset, I--I was so worried, but--You look so...” She found herself coming up short, meeting Sunset's knowing smile. “I-I mean--”
“Regal? Powerful? Unreasonably attractive? So lovely that you've lost words?”
“Oh, stop it!” Twilight batted her with a hoof, giggling even as she did. “You know what I mean. How do you feel?”
Sunset paused, her face becoming serious as she considered.
“...hungry.”
“Oh, this is the game you're going to play?”
“Yes!” Sunset chortled, her voice sounding so...free in a way Twilight adored. She'd only ever heard it a hooffull of times and each time it was as the sweetest song. “...but really, I feel..”
Sunset stepped away from Twilight and pumped her wings, her face screwed up as she concentrated. She looked back to the other mare with a heart-melting grin. “I feel so unwound! Like I've been wrapped in a blanket too tightly for so long and I'm finally free to stretch! I'VE NEVER FELT SO AWAKE!” She pumped her wings again and reared up, whooping as she ran about. Twilight couldn't resist racing to keep up with her, the pair making their way into the hedge maze, progress easily tracked by their laughter.
Celestia appeared behind Luna, who watched the pair with a barely concealed smile. She took up a seat next to her sister, a brilliant warmth she sometimes forgot she could feel welling up inside her as she watched her two former students canter about, running just for the joy of running. She could feel the urge to rush over and join them overtaking her, and tried to steel herself. She exhaled contentedly instead, loosening the iron control and allowing herself to relax...just this once.
“...oh, go on, you old nag.” Luna poked her with a hoof, goading her on with a mischievous grin.
“I shouldn't!” Celestia protested halfheartedly, though it took a completely unreasonable amount of her self-control to do so. “They're having a moment, Luna. You remember what it was like to have those, don't you?”
Luna snorted indignantly. “I may have been out of time for a millennium, sister, but I am not so out of touch that I can't recognize when I would be a fifth wheel.”
“Are you certain, sister dearest?” Celestia retorted, her voice only slightly smug. She was far too regal to make a singsong voice at anypony, even if they were her sister. Probably.
“Quite so.” Luna huffed, though her mouth's corners rose involuntarily. “...she seems like she was born for it, does she not?”
“They both do.” Celestia sighed. She put a hoof over her heart, the lack of a peytral more pleasing to her than was likely reasonable. “...I am...” She blinked, surprised to discover a wetness she hadn't noticed before. Luna looked up at her, a sympathetic smile on her face.
“...'Tis probably fine to cry, 'Tia. None will judge you here.”
“...It would be...i-improper.” Celestia said.
“Nonsense!” Luna exclaimed. “Twilight Sparkle! Sunset Shimmer! Come here at once, if you would!”
Celestia was taken aback by the sudden loudness, trying hurriedly to wipe her eyes before they returned--
“Princess? What's wrong?” Twilight's plaintive concern reached her, bringing her up short. She lowered her hooves, two sets of bright eyes looking at her with worry in their faces.
For one thousand years, Celestia Sol Lucet Omnibus had done her best to maintain absolute control over her emotions. She indulged her silly side once in a long while, or very rarely allowed a whim to take precedent...but had only surrendered completely to them a hooffull of times, and only ever in the privacy of her own chambers.
In this moment, her streak was broken, and she seized them both, the smaller mares grunting in surprise as she squeezed them. She felt Twilight nuzzle into her and Sunset settle down against her side. She looked to Luna through dewy eyes, her mouth working soundlessly as she found herself wordless. Her sister gave her a bracing, understanding smile and nodded to her.
Celestia inhaled shakily, settling back while maintaining her firm yet gentle hold on Sunset and Twilight. “M-my...my students...I...” She couldn't finish the statement, so she settled for another shaky, breathy laugh as she held them. “I-I'm...I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud...”
Celestia didn't notice Luna turn to leave, wiping a tear of her own away as she spread her wings. There was still much to sort, but it could probably wait until later.
It wouldn't do to interrupt the moment, after all.
Amazing in every way.
I agree with Danger Brony. I was sooooooooooooooo hyped for this chapter
well as with every chapterAhh ALICORN SUNSET SHIMMER
curse u Hasbro for not letting this happen In cannonbut of course the bronies pegasisters and fandom would totes pick up the slack. But you always get the feeling like its not enough. ( or at least I do)Anyway I need to up my pony skill so I can draw so much fan art for my favorite stories and writers.
Keep up the amazing inspiring work Orpheon
maybe make that next chapter soooner that soonIn addition
It reached the ground...and as if from an egg, the emblem faded, leaving behind a pony.
The imagery reminds me of the Chaos from Sonic Adventure 2 battle when they turn into adults pretty cool
YAY for for emotional moments with Princess Sunbutt!
Excellent chapter!
I see what you did there.
Wah, so happy. Nice to see Sunset finally get her wings at last. Although with those wings comes extra burdens too. Wonderful to see Sunset let loose, her guilt has probably been holding her back for a long time. Not to mention seeing Celestia hug her students. Wonder which option Sunset will go with. Not just being a princess or which world, not to mention Twilight herself too of course. Wonder how the population will react.
Overall, another really good chapter. I'll admit that the star realm thing was weird, between Celestia saying it was what happened to her (while also apparently going through the physical transformation the long way), plus her attitude and magic from the end of the last chapter, and Luna not telling Twilight that it was basically the same thing that happened with her ascension.
Now, as to answer what I think of your Celestia. I really like the concept, and Celestia herself is well executed. She has a massive ego that she ignores (apparently her decisions are always what's best, even with her very spotty track record) and tends to not see or underestimate the damage she causes, but it all comes from a good place. The issue comes not from Celestia, but from how everyone else acts. This Celestia isn't one Princess out of 4 (or 3 if you count Cadence as separate), she's not a diarch, she's not a monarch, she's a dictator. We never see anyone raise a counter point to Celestia and get away with it. Luna's one real action in this story was to invade Sunset's dreams on Celestia's "request". She shuts up Sunset whenever she doesn't feel like listening to her. The worst of her actions is how she treats Twilight. She constantly orders Twilight around, expects her to "act like a princess" while shutting down any decision she doesn't agree with, and overall doesn't respect her at all, all while telling her she's an equal. Twilight had a breakdown over it, but still won't actually do anything (hell, she had to build up all her courage to just say she was dating Sunset due to fearing Celestia). Luna jumped to Celestia's defense by basically threatening Sunset after invading her mind, when Sunset raised a perfectly valid point. Cadence... well she was kind of just there.
Sunset's interactions work with Celestia, as when she shuts Sunset down, it's Princess to subject, and with her ego, it seems like what would happen. Luna's interactions don't really work too well, as there is a kind of blind loyalty and Luna has shown zero political anything in this fic. Luna being a princess (especially after Celestia's little lecture to Twilight telling her that all important decisions must be run by her) is an informed trait at best, and Celestia and Twilight don't treat her as a princess. The most Luna does is intimidate/threaten Sunset in her dream. Last chapter hinted that Cadence doesn't agree with the crap Celestia is pulling on Sunset, but she doesn't seem to act on it.
Again, I really like this interpretation of Celestia, just the way the other royals act around and about her feels off, especially when a lot of her decisions are beyond questionable. From the Discord reformation and the Siren decision, from planning on sending Twilight to the dangerous uncharted territories while not allowing her to visit the human world (basically keeping her as a weapon or tool, which this chapter hinted at), having complete say over what happens with the portal (even though there is magic there due to Starswirl dumping the Sirens and potentially other threats there, plus Sunset and Twilight's actions), and rewriting history to suit her. There is never any tension, questioning (to her face), or action, everyone just accepts it. The portal decision is probably the best example. What is the worst that would happen if humans (even going by real life history) discovered the portal? It's been around for thousands of years, and it opens only once every two and a half years. It's a narrow passage that only allows one or two people at a time and forcibly shifts the species of the person going through, so chances of an invasion are basically none. Instead, all it would do is cut Sunset off from one world, while also costing Twilight some friends, plus losing the potential of benefiting from human technology and philosophy, while potentially dooming the world to another forgotten magical threat. Celestia's decision on the mirror is painted as entirely her own, with no counterpoints raised, no opinions from Sunset, Twilight, or Luna, and she acts as it is the be all end all best decision. To sum up, Celestia lacks perspective and empathy (due to her ego, which works as an interpretation), but no one will call her out on it (which contradicts what she says and how Luna and Twilight acted).
7716768 BOTH Princess Sunbutts!
Well, Princess Sunbutt and Prospective Princess Sunbutt.
it's okay, for this chapter, it's more than okay! This chapter was awesome and the time and effort you put into make these few thousand words count is evident, each scene is emotion-filled and not a word was wasted! Good job my good pony! Very well done!
7717005 [I am the very model...]
7717225 Valid criticisms all. I appreciate the input; I will work on refining my interpretations as I go, especially with regards to Luna (moonybutt deserves better). The issue with being a mortal human is that having perspective (HAH) on immortal demigoddesses is tricky, and I wanted to differentiate the alicorn lineup. We haven't had enough screentime with Cadance for me to mess her up completely (putting aside her relative youth), but messing up Luna is something I won't stand for.
As for what danger of the portal...well, we'll get there. Thanks for reading this far and for your thoughts!
7718416 The risk of discovering Equestria aside, there's the matter of Earth's natural magic (I would guess suppressed since either the Inquisition, or possibly earlier,) which might be waking up with the "alarm clock" effect of Equestrian magic. Honestly, I was hoping Legend of Everfree would be a sign of Earth's awakening magic making itself felt. Because the powers the girls gained were reflections of their Equestrian powers, but not identical. So it would make sense if Terrestrial magic was waking up and making itself felt.
If that happens, I can see Sunset taking the position that having unleashed magic on Earth, she has a responsibility to protect them from themselves. To essentially be the Celestia of the Terrestrial sphere. One more alicorn more or less won't change much in Equestria. One full-time alicorn on Earth might just save them from what would otherwise be a dangerously frightening millenia of learning to cope with magic and technology side by side in a world which still can't admit it exists, and doesn't understand it.
As for the portal, I've always found it as a plot device to hinge on a massive flaw. If it's basically a physical object anchoring a half dozen spells, why not learn the magic and use it to create their own portals? They wouldn't even have to be permanent. Just open a gateway when you want. Given Twilight and Sunset's power levels, I'm sure they could manage a transformation on their own time on either side.
Although, I'm curious how big the ponies would be if that happened. A lot of people write them as if they're tiny... but if you look up the standard English Pony, they stand human-high on four legs. And Twilight was horrified initially at her tiny legs and tiny nose, so I don't think they're half-height as ponies, which they would be if they had the rough physical dimensions of human-ish ponies. I wouldn't be surprised if an Equestrian pony is a hundred pounds or so more heavy than a terrestrial human, and on hind legs would stand several feet taller. People seem to think that a human-high pony is unreasonably high, but I think that's because they've never seen a full-size horse. On four legs, they effortlessly tower over humans. A standard English pony seems like a good height for an Equestrian pony, I think.
7718772 Most fics I've read put ponies at about waist to chest high compared to whoever the human of the story is (usually over six feet tall), usually with Celestia being eye level or slightly taller. Fan art (and cover art) tends to depict them slightly smaller due to the ponies being closer in height usually makes them look bulky and fat, while making the humans look short and skinny. Apparently in real life, a pony is classified as being under 4 feet 10 inches, so they would be taller than most art, but fit the size described in most fics (especially since the stallions tend to be taller, and they still have to be under 4 foot 10).
7718416 The trick is that while Celestia is immortal, she hasn't lived forever. Plus, living longer doesn't necessarily make you wiser or give you more perspective. While she might be getting better at doing her role and pushing towards what she thinks is best, she still is pushing towards her beliefs, not some sort of objective utopia, sometimes with morally questionable actions. It doesn't help that the show itself can't decide what to do with her (and love retconning Luna), though that's not too relevant right now. One really common trait among people is that the older someone gets, the more stubborn and locked into their views they become. While her beliefs can have more perspective and weight than an average person's, she could also have a thousand years of conformation bias, as she had no real equal with Luna gone, surrounds herself with nobles that seem to do nothing but brown nose her, and has Twilight terrified of speaking out against her (in the show), while shutting down Sunset's and Twilight's opinions without really even listening to them (in the fic).
Ponies act very much like humans, and have been shown to be just as bad as the worst of humanity (in a TV-Y rated way, though the season 5 premiere and finale pulled some things I'm surprised they got away with). In the show, Celestia has made some very questionable decisions, from the very first episode, lying to Twilight, getting herself captured, and hoping for the best (oh, and apparently rewriting history, which seems to be a very common thing for her, as the only threat anyone besides Celestia and Luna knew anything about was the changelings). After that, she is shown to enjoy causing chaos for her own entertainment (A Bird In The Hoof and the season 1 finale), gets the elements stolen, doesn't recognize her niece was replaced and treated Twilight like crap (who has had multiple mental breakdowns fearing Celestia by this point), didn't keep the elements nearby after a threat was made, risked all of Equestria to test Twilight, tested her again by baiting her into ruining her friends lives, got captured in her sleep multiple times, didn't trust Twilight again to stop Tirek (instead giving the role solely to Discord), and worst of all, probably the most damning moment, was the entire Times Are A Changeling fiasco where a child had to tell her off to stop being so single minded and realize she might be wrong about something. It doesn't help that she basically never apologizes and that's without going into implications and headcanons. Remember, Celestia was still written by mortals (ones that don't seem to agree on how any of the characters should be portrayed), and most of her traits are fanon. Hell, Equestria having laws and a government is technically fanon (as is the EQG world being similar to ours outside of the technology). Her actual power is questionable (she has never won a fight solo without the elements, and the only magic she's done is raise the sun, shoot a few lasers, and undo Twilight's Want It Need It spell), and her personality is too (she seems to revel in the attention she gets, and any actual history we get is always from her, and with how she treated Twilight at the wedding, it calls a lot of her past into question).
That's one of the reasons I really like this Celestia. This story doesn't paint her as a perfect saint or a martyr (even if she sees herself as one). She is hypocritical at times, but it all comes from a good place. She can be wrong or pull morally questionable actions, but still be believable when she claims it's for the greater good. However, at the same time, her arrogance had some very negative effects on the ponies around her, driving Luna to feel isolated and unwanted, turning her advice/lessons to Sunset into a hypocritical mess, and driving Twilight into blind loyalty and fear (hell, earlier it seemed that she almost turned into a Nightmare Moon equivalent, due to the trauma from Celestia's actions towards her, but was so scared to speak out against her that it took her lover being in danger and with her support to finally speak up to, not against, Celestia), yet there is never any malice. Even when she asks Luna to invade Sunset's dreams and dig for information, it all feels genuine. She does still care about Sunset, Twilight, and Luna, but feels her duty takes priority. This might actually be my favorite Celestia (competing with Three Wishes).
That's probably the greatest strength of this fic. I can genuinely see where all the characters are coming from (their perspective is very well presented), and all their interactions feel very natural. The distrust that Rainbow shows felt in character (though I never saw the original version of that scene), as did Pinkie's initial reaction to Sunset and following guilt. Velvet's earlier critic of Celestia and distrust of Sunset was another interesting shake up, along with the Sirens' refusal to change and the Pie family anti-academics stance. Cadence's two cents on Sunset's situation were great as well. Spike is also very well handled, still acting like a kid a lot of the time, but having a weight and maturity to him at times. None of the interactions or perspectives felt out of place, weak, or forced (except maybe Discord's). And of course, can't forget the main characters. Twilight and Sunset both feel like they're from something like Steven Universe or Gravity Falls. Both are dealing with their own trauma's, with Sunset having to deal with her self loathing and issues with Celestia, while Twilight is dealing with a growing distrust(? not sure what word to use here) of Celestia, Sunset's self loathing, and the entire princess thing. Yet at the same time, they still try their hardest to be good people, to help each other grow, and never really get lost in angst (the biggest trap for these kinds of interpretations). Honestly, this is probably my second favorite Sunset (next to Gunsmoke) and one of my favorite Twilights (though she has a lot more competition). I especially love how all the different perspectives they encounter (including each others) help them subtly grow and become wiser, more confident, and comfortable with themselves (it honestly took me typing out this comment to finally see how well the title fit the story). With Sunset and Twilight's constant growth and sometimes clashing view points, it will be very interesting to see where they go, especially in regards with Celestia and the leftover issues, like the mirror (something both Twilight and Sunset could fight for reasonably), the angry magic natural disasters, and Twilight (and now Sunset's) role as a princess.
On a technical aspect, this story is great as well. Well paced, flows well, doesn't jump head first into awkward romance, I didn't catch any errors that I remember in my multiple readings of this, and overall is very well told. The only real weakness I'd say is the lack of political world building. A large part of this story relies on the ruling of Equestria, between Twilight's princess insecurities, Celestia's rather ironhoofed actions, some of her statements (especially telling Twilight to defer to her and Luna), Luna's entire role (and advice to Sunset plus her defense of Celestia), and a lot of the drama between Sunset and Celestia. There are some great bits, like Sunset telling Twilight how Celestia gets everything she wants through her name alone, and this chapter's hint at Cadence's ruling style, but the lack of anything from Luna hurts though, especially since it kind of paints Celestia as an unopposed dictator, and made the entire lecture/scolding she gave Twilight after the Siren fiasco and the letter to Sunset plus her initial reaction to Twilight showing up as well seem all the more tyrannical. To be fair, that's really just a nitpick from me heavily analyzing this story. In all honesty, I'd currently rate this fic up there with the best Sunset fics like Long Road To Friendship and Fractured Sunlight, though I can't give it a fair rating until it's complete.
That was good even though we saw it coming from seven leagues off.
A little disappointed that Sunbutt Sr. didn't get to see any of Sunbutt Jr.'s hardship memories, but the "simulacrum" explanation mollifies me sufficiently.
It almost feels like this is coming to an end soon, and that makes me sad. You've written everyone very... vibrantly. And yet there are still a lot of loose ends, so maybe this is a... brief respite?
Also, I think I could read an entire book of princess banter with Tia and Lulu if you wrote it. Just, like, vignettes of the Perfectly Posh Private Pretty Pony Princess Powwow (a singularly bawdy and unhinged event of which there must NEVER be public record, lest the common pony lose all respect for the power of the pentad crown) across the ages.
FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS
media.tenor.co/images/0c3e3f63d032e65d3f49cc3141985a27/raw
7719260
puu.sh/oWz62/abb12fbf09.gif
Dude you're killin me my heart can't take this level of compliment
7719456 More on that...uh, soon. I've been giving it a think.
I'm kind of curious where this fic is going; this feels like a climax, perhaps, but also not.
7720138 So... false climax then? Hmm. Sunset and Twilight will need to work harder on that one, I suppose.
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
7717225 It just hit me on my latest read-through... What if Luna already has an inkling of what Celestia would do with the mirror... and doesn't agree? If she felt that Twilight and Sunset could be trusted, and that Celestia herself needed to be taught a lesson in trust, she might take advantage of a little private Twilight Time to give the newest princess a big hint about how the portal works. It is central to their personal drama, so anything that threatens their happiness might be just what they need to stand up to Celestia. Luna herself can't, because there will always be echoes of Nightmare Moon in any direct resistance. So she primes Twilight, and hopes for the best.
7721219
1) Just because you've never SEEN him doing anything but Shield Spells doesn't translate into him being incapable of doing anything BUT Shield Spells.
2) Just because she can do and copy spells doesn't translate into how well one can actually use it in an actual fight.
Learn all the fancy combos you want in a fighting game but what really matters is how well you can use those skills in an actual match.
I just love that everything about the sirens was just ignored and forgotten about. The 3 are dead, Celestia is a tyrannical control freak, and nothing came from that conflict. It was just brushed under the rug and ignored and forgotten, with the Sirens most likely now dead. So Sad.
Sunset throughout this fic reminds me of the Iron maiden song "The man who would be king" (The mare who would be Queen?) I had this song playing in the background while reading this chapter. I love me some SunLight shipping. Sunset finally got her wings and got at least some semblance of peace within herself. All of these characters are written very well and they seem to come alive in the story and it's an absolute delight to read, i can't wait to see how Equestria takes these news. I am eagerly waiting for more. Also lots of Fluff and feels at the end of the chapter
7721280
Lol wut? (is that supposed to mean)
oh i LIKE this
very much so
Just binge read this. So worth it. A lot of compliments are appropriate, but honestly? Favorited, give moar soon, please
Oh, kudos for not rushing the romance. It was quite organic, the way you did it. Another!
7763438
There are two different aspect to consider with training:
A) How useful will training really be here?
You can be a world class martial artist with a physique to rival Arnold and Bruce Lee vs an untrained paralyzed child but if your opponent drops a tactical nuke on you, you're still boned.
While a good portion of that power displayed in the battle with Tirak came from the other three Alicorns, Twilight still supplied some non-insignificant amount of it (considering Celestia felt fighting him would be useless even before he ate Discord yet Twilight fought him to a standstill, she might have supplied a surprisingly large amount of it). Even if you put her as the weakest of the four (frankly Cadance would make more sense in that position to me) she's still going to have the power to fairly effectively remove the town if she really wanted to. I don't think there can really be any argument that she doesn't outclass him in magic power by a significant degree. And it's not in the range of: he has a pistol and she has a rifle and his superior skill might beat her, as much as it's: he has a pistol and she has an ICBM.
B) How much "better" training does Shiny really have over Twilight (if any)?
Shiny has "military training" (whatever that even means in MLP) but Twilight has advanced magical training beyond what even "gifted" unicorns get. To compar, Shiny went to public school and received no training at all until he enlisted. Twilight has been training since she was a small child under a millenia old master. Not to mention her self studying/training (which we have not seen Shiny sharing). I would find it unlikely that Shiny knows any spells or methods Twilight doesn't (though she might not be as practiced in them) but I certainly think she knows some he doesn't know.
He probably has much better physical fitness (unless she has Earth Pony magic to enhance her strength as an Alicorn?) and hoof to hoof combat training but again how much does that actually matter when both characters are primarily casters and telekinesis/laser beams are the weapon of choice?
7763986
Well at the time it was the last chapter.
And yeah, it wasn't really a cliffhanger in any real sense since everyone knew what was happening.
Your characterization is, as always, rock solid. You'be got a real knack for dialogue and. character emotions. With that said, I found some of the imagery kinda overblown, especially as it relates to fire. The alicorn-ification process was flashy in the show, but some paragraphs, especially the description of Sunset's return, are a bit much, to the point that I skipped that particular paragraph entirely. You mention Celestia's "approximation" of the star realm, but I'm still not at all clear on how that works. You're great at character voice and emotion, but your mythology is confusing.
Similarly, if this is the way the Sunset/Celestia clash is supposed to end, it feels like an anticlimax. I'm not sure we've sufficiently covered Celestia's domineering from, say, the sirens arc, and the end to the animosity between Sunset and Celestia feels... too easy, almost? Maybe the resolution was earlier and I just forgot.
Meanwhile, I do wonder if Twilight's grievances from the Pie farm chapters will be resolved, and even if we accept that Twilight doesn't recognize the princess-making process from her own time experiencing it, it appears that Luna does, so why does nobody explain it to her? Why does Celestia just leave her out to worry? That's partially an issue with the previous chapter, but the spontaneity doesn't seem to help anyone.
Most of all, though, I'm irritated with the use of the "evil humans" trope. I guess the royal control over the mirror protects it from anyone on the pony side causing trouble, but it still feels like Celestia is only considering the issues humanity will cause as if they're the only ones capable of great misdeeds. We know that Equestrian beings have ALREADY caused issues on the other side. Why would Celestia act as if humans are uniquely bad? I just find this trope overused and dull, and I don't feel like it was necessary to have Sunset stay in Equestria.
But there is some emotional satisfaction in Sunset finally reconciling and finally earning princesshood. The characters are all still written very well, Twilight's worry is endearing, and Sunset's internal conflict is especially satisfying. It's just a little frustrating from what has otherwise been a great story.
7789368 Yeeeah...I indulge myself sometimes with the overblown imagery. Part of it is that when I went to explain everything in my head it ended up taking up a lot of space in a chapter that I wanted focused on the interaction between Sunset and Celestia; even then, the quick/dirty approximation line does come off as mildly throwaway. I guess I figured not everything needed elaborated on (yet). Sorry!
As far as the rest...you'll see! This story isn't quite over.
7789368
I guess it's just a matter of taste but I personally really liked the "ascension" imagery. Sure it's hugely flashy and has a paragraph or two dedicated to it (though honestly I don't find it excessively long at all, again tastes may differ here) but honestly it should, shouldn't it? Is there a bigger event for Sunset or Equestria (or this story) as a whole than this/events like this? One would think if any event deserved a big cosmic light show it would be a pony becoming an Alicorn.
Regarding the "evil humans" comment: I don't think Celestia ever really mentioned humans or feared them in any specific way related to their human-ness..? She simply doesn't want to allow a portal to another dimension to be unguarded/regularly open into her land. If that land had instead been populated by any other type of intelligent life I still think Celestia would have had the same concerns. So this "evil humans" issue doesn't really seem to exist (unless I'm forgetting some anti-human sentiments Celestia has made, which is possible, I do read alot of fics).
7791620 Well, a lot of it probably is just the imagery not doing much for me, but the specific references to flame and such don't seem much like how Twilight's own ascension went. I presume the bright light has a bit more basis in the show; I don't exactly watch "Magical Mystery Cure" very often. With these parts of Sunset's ascension being different from what I remember from the show, it makes me wonder exactly how the story's mythology works.
As for the human thing, well...
I mean, the whole "I read a history book and learned that humans are dangerous" thing is kind of a cliche to begin with, but moreover, if Celestia weren't thinking of humans as being specifically dangerous, she wouldn't feel the need to mention the history book. As for "not wanting a portal open on her land..." well, we can assume that's true, but it's not what she says. Everything in the above quote indicates that she wants the portal closed because she believes humans are destructive. There's no reference to the portal being guarded on Twilight's side either, and while that might be explained by Twilight already hiding her portal away, the whole "humans scary. we must avoid." thing strikes me as kinda trite. Are there any stories where the ponies and humans begin a peaceful relationship?
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Well Twilight's "light show" is a bit more subdued (I mean the general idea is the same, just Twilight's mark was more or less just color in the sky while this story has Sunset's as flame) but I'd like to think that's more of a limit of the medium rather than how things should have gone. Overall though the two events are relatively the same.
And ah, yes, I had forgotten that part. So yes, she does talk about humans specifically and the text book. I still would think Celestia would be a bit like this regardless of if it was humans or some other civilization (given her speech regarding doing what was best for "her ponies" even if it meant hurting individuals) but in any case the mention of humans is there. You are correct.
Regarding stories that have humans and ponies meet in a peaceful way: The Elements of Harmony and the Savior of Worlds and Project Sunflower are two examples of that happening.
The Elements of Harmony and the Savior of Worlds uses the G1 lore to have Megan return to Equestria and opening a permanent portal to Earth. The human/pony relations part is only touch on a bit in the main story but is done a bit more in the side stories. It also features Optimus Prime in a side story (the setting has the Hasbro universe all together).
Project Sunflower is about humanity desperately searching for a new world to inhabit because Earth is being consumed by an alien substance. They find Equestria and send a scout through to learn more. This story has a bit of threat to it (the humans are against the wall and plan to force their way into Equestria if peaceful talks break down) but is overall a positive story about humans (kinda) and ponies meeting.
This is a good story. I think your writing needs a little work, as I find the parentheses to be a bit distracting and unnecessary, and there are times where your... I suppose it might be pacing... needs work. Like the jaywalking thing in this chapter. I think it broke the emotion of the scene and really should have been cut out. I know you might have been going for a bit of levity there or something, but it just doesn't work IMO. There might have been other things in the story too, but I don't remember what at the moment. Sorry.
Still, this is far better written than quite a few stories I've seen, and I like the concept. The whole cutie mark/lack of fulfillment thing is definitely different, and good. I do want to see where this goes, I really do.
One other thing I noticed is the formatting. It really would be better for readability if there were blank lines between the paragraphs. I did notice that the HTML version of the story has blank lines in between paragraphs. I've seen that sort of thing before with other stories. While I haven't published anything on here, I'm guessing that's something with the way publishing works on here. I'd try tinkering with that for the next chapter.
Also, I'm sorry if you discussed this in a note or in a comment. I hadn't looked at the comments and I read the HTML version for readability, and the HTML doesn't include author's notes. What happened to Starlight? I mean, if this is post Friendship Games, Starlight Glimmer should be around.
And speaking of publishing, I was wondering, do you mind if I use the idea of "Twilight's castle functions as Ponyville's public library as well as her own" for a story I'm intending to publish at some point? I mean, it makes SOOOO much sense. Twilight was the librarian, and Ponyville did lose their public library, contents and the actual building. I just really like the concept personally. If you mind, I understand. I just thought I'd ask.
Can't wait to see what you come up with.
7823851 As ever, I am trying to improve my pacing (and other things) as I go. It's one of those things I hope to teach myself through practice!
As to Starlight Glimmer...there are reasons plural why she's not in this story and that's all I'm going to say on the matter right now.
As to the library idea, feel free! It's not as though I have a copyright on the concept. I just thought it made sense.
All i have is a simple more please :)
Love the ending with Celestia finally letting go.
Aww horseapples! I ran out of story!
Please let this not be abandoned! It is a good one!
*notices eyes are wet* wait when did I start crying
....Im having too many feels at once.
*cries because of this chapter*
*Sees that there is only one chapter left*
*CRIES HARDER*
One chapter left for me.... I'M CRYING PLEASE NO THIS IS TOO GOOD