Dungeons & Dorks

by AppleJTZ

Encounter!

Cries of crows and owls hauled through the woods. Under the thick shield of the canopy not a single ray of light passed to the crooked path the group travelled on. Ahead of the others Snakes was slithering, happily humming by herself while holding up a torch, the only source of light to illuminate the way. Behind her the Axe was walking, followed by Thunderblade. The two armored warriors were carrying Nightheart, the Axe holding her feet while Thunderblade had grabbed her by the shoulders. The cloak of the rogue was dragged over the dusty road, while the noblesse herself seemed to be unconscious, the back of her hand lying on her mask. Beside the faint femme fatale Honeytooth was going, holding her staff over her body. A weak light emitted from the tip, streaming into the rogue’s body. The whole group seemed slightly torn up, their clothes full of dust and dirt. Not only their outfits had taken some bruises however, their bodies were also carrying some slight wounds. Mist was hovering over the ground, like a thick soup wailing around their ankles as they marched through the pitch-black forest. It felt like the trees were watching their every step, the torch casting eerie shades on their barks.

“I told you not to open that treasure chest” the Axe said over her shoulder to Thunderblade, who let out an angry huff in response.

“You said that about EVERY treasure chest we’ve found!” she complained. “We’ve been walking past three of them without opening one, but still had to defeat the demon trees, monster crows and undead squirrels guarding them! And after nearly losing my shield against that crazy dryad, I just had to open that one! How should I know it was a mimic?”

“You always have to consider mimics” the brute told her sternly. “You can expect one in every dark forest, dungeon or gloomy castle.”

Looking up at the dark ceiling of leaves Snakes made a ponderous face. “Wait, if the last one was a mimic, doesn’t thiss mean the others were probably reals treasure chestss?” she wondered.

The Axe shrugged. “Probably.”

Raising her gaze from her patient Honeytooth smiled towards the orc warrior. “Wonderful!” she chirped. “We skipped a ton of loot because our orc is an overly cautious coward. I’ll say it again: Our ORC is overly cautious!!” she snarled, flashing her fangs.

With a groan Thunderblade glanced down at the silver mask of Nightheart. “You know, for a nimble and fleet-footed rogue you are quite heavy” she remarked.

As if that comment had woken her from her coma Nightheart took her hand off her face, evilly looking upwards at the champion. “Oh be quiet and carry me, will you?” she snapped at her. “As a paladin, it would have been your job to protect me from that monster’s attack anyway!”

The paladin frowned. “Hey, you could have just dodged that slowpoke bite with your oh-so-quick feet!” She then turned angrily towards the priestess. “Besides, I was busy tending to my wounds, because our healer here was busy fighting her inner demon!”

Honeytooth cast a snide glance at the champion. “What?” she asked, stemming a hand against her hip. “It’s not my fault that stupid box on legs stomped on my robe!” She held up the hem, revealing a small rift in the fabric. “When it ripped, I guess I got a little…” Her eyes flickered yellow for a moment. “…carried away” she mumbled, before focusing on treating Nightheart’s wounds again.

The Axe shook her head. “You guys are terrible at your roles” she told them.

Through her mask Nightheart glared up at her. “That’s easy to say when your only role is to swing a giant axe...”

“Chill, dudes” Snakes chimed into the conversation. With her free hand she grabbed the neck of her guitar hanging over her back. “Hey, shall I play something to ease the atmosphere?"

“NO!!!” the others replied sharply in unison, causing the Snake-woman to pout.

Quietly the group moved on through the misty forest, cautious of any movement around them. After a while the light from Honeytooth’s staff faded. Smiling in content she looked down on Nightheart. “There, that should do it” she told her, Thunderblade and the Axe stopping. Carefully the two warriors let the rogue down, the Axe slowly setting her on her feet while Thunderblade helped her get up. The rogue was shaking for a moment, seeming a little insecure on her legs, but then quickly found her balance again. With a smile she looked down on herself, seeing all her bruises had disappeared.

“Thanks, Honeytooth” she said, bowing slightly in front of the priestess. “I owe you one.”

With her unarmored arm Thunderblade wiped some sweat from her forehead, also smiling. “Don’t ever make me worry like that again, Hearts!” she playfully scolded her.

Having not noticed the rest of the group had paused Snakes had kept on gliding over the crooked path. She wasn’t far from the others however when she also stopped. Holding up her torch she squinted her eyes. In her vertical irises a weak glimmer from the distance was reflecting. “Hey galsss!” she called out, swinging her tongue in excitement as she waved at the others to come over. “I think we’re almost out! Ssss!”

The group quickly caught up to their bard, staring down the path. Not too far away they could see the crooked way breaching through the trees, a weak light shining into the dark forest.

“Finally!” Nightheart sighed, putting a hand on her chest. “I thought we’d never leave this cursed place.”

Honeytooth nodded. “Oh, and please remind me: the next time my gods tell me to go into a dark and gloomy forest, I will change my faith.”

“Well, it was exciting” Thunderblade said, smiling a little sheepishly.

“Jumping from a cliff is also exciting” the Axe commented while moving on. The group made their way towards the exit, Snakes going ahead with the torch. The further they went down the path the more they could see outside of the sheen of flames, the light shining brighter with each step. Eventually Snakes tossed the torch on the ground, the others stomping over it as they dashed into the flowing light.

Stepping into the light the heroines were blinded for a moment, slowly adjusting to the light. Outside the woods there was a group of bushes, the five girls standing waist-high in leaves. The canopy of the forest edge still above their heads the group gazed forward. Just a few dozen meters in front of them they could see the foot of the mountain, solemnly towering over the forest. Awestruck they raised their heads, staring up the monumental wall of stone. From the bottom the summit was almost out of sight, surrounded by the circle of smoke. Despite the clouds above and forest behind them the moonlight still reached out to the small passage between the mountain and the trees, allowing them clear sight on what was ahead of them. As the group quietly stared at the destination of their journey for a while Honeytooth suddenly winced.

“Cover!” she whispered with pressure, quickly ducking herself in the bushes. The others immediately followed, only Snakes standing confused on the spot.

“What’ss wrourk!” The snake-woman nearly bit her tongue when Thunderblade grabbed her by her collar, dragging her wiggly body into the bushes.

“What did you see?” the paladin asked their priestess, carefully holding a hand in front of Snake’s complaining mouth (carefully not because she was afraid to hurt her, but because of the poison fangs). Quietly Honeytooth pushed the leaves aside, showing the area in front of the mountain to the whole group.

Straight ahead from their position there was a cave. A campfire was burning in front of it, three vaguely humanoid figures sitting around. Their skin was brown and wrinkly, covered in dirt all over their bodies. Sharp noses and ears pointed out from their faces, sporting two tiny eyes and swollen grumpy lips. Their limbs were frail and long, their arms hanging to the ground and legs stretched out to the fire, while their bellies were bloated with fat. In their lanky fingers they held thick wooden clubbers.

Nightheart backed off in disgust. “Gross!” she murmured, resisting the urge to throw up.

Snakes leaned closer in awe. “Cooool!” she whispered, staring with big eyes at the creatures.

“What are those things?” Thunderblade asked in a low voice.

“They are goblins, pesky little creatures commonly found in or near caves” the Axe explained quietly. “For experienced adventurer groups they are little more than a nuisance. But seeing how we barely managed to reach this point in one piece, I’d say for us they are absolutely fatal monstrosities who will probably defeat us within five seconds.”

Honeytooth looked sweetly at her. “Why, aren’t you an ever-sprouting fountain of optimism?” she chirped.

Slowly Thunderblade began to pull out her sword. “Wait!” Nightheart interrupted her, putting a hand on the paladin’s arm. Pulling her cloak back a little she let her dagger shine in the sparse moonlight. “I think I can take of this situation with a bit more… finesse” she said, smirking deviously at the goblins.

Thunderblade let her sword slide back into its sheath, snorting. “Fine. But just for the record: smacking stuff with a sword and shield also takes finesse!” she insisted.

With one of her clean and smooth hands Nightheart waved her off. “But of course, darling” she stated, taking a quick peek at the fire. While the cover of bushes wasn’t constant there were still some scattered around the camp side. One was located directly behind one of the goblins. Confidently Nightheart sneaked out of her hideout, approaching the group of monsters. Keeping herself ducked she watched the movements of her enemies, especially where their eyes were looking. Carefully setting one foot in front of the other she slunk towards the next bush, taking cover behind it for a second before moving on to the next. Each motion was timed and executed with precision, the rogue pausing every time she spotted a goblin turning its head in her direction. While keeping an eye on the monsters she slowly snuck up to them, her feet skillfully evading any branch or leaf that could have made a sound upon contact. The closer she came to her targets the more the heat of the campfire waved against her, while her nostrils caught the foul smell of the dirty creatures. Despite her low pace she reached the final bush relatively swiftly. Careful not to make any noise she hid between the branches. Her fingers reached for the dagger on her belt. Eyes fixed on the neck of the as she pulled out her weapon, ready to strike. Then, within the blink of an eye she leapt out of the bush, the goblin not even having time to turn its head as she raised the dagger above her head and…

“Excuse me Sunny” Sugarcoat interrupted her friend’s depictions “But you failed the stealth check.”

Holding her pen above her head Sunny stared in confusion at the girl with the three pigtails. She took a look at the dice lying in front of her, then at her character sheet, and at last the open story book. “What are you talking about?” she asked, angrily putting her pen on the table. “I needed a ten and got a 14!”

“True” Sugarcoat agreed, before pointing at small side note in the rule book. “But because you wear a long cloak you get a malus of 5 on stealth.”

Sunny raised an eyebrow. “You're kidding, right?” Sugarcoat held out the rule book to her. Sunny’s eyes scanned the page, her face turning into a frown. “That makes no sense!” she yelled, stemming her hands against her hips. “How can a cloak make me less sneaky?”

Indigo coughed. “Well it could go like this…”

As Nightheart was about to strike the goblin her foot suddenly got caught up in her cloak. Silently she waved her arms, trying to maintain balance. Despite her struggles however she eventually fell out of the bush, planting her masked face into the ground. The rouge slowly raised her head, peering up at three pair of small yellow eyes looking down on her…

The whole table trembled as Sunny slammed her hands against it, angrily standing up. “That's ridiculous!” she shouted. “My character is a righteous thief who skips over rooftops every night. She doesn't stumble over her own cloak!”

“You should have considered that before giving her a fancy cape” Sugarcoat remarked dryly.

Sour put a hand on Sunny's shoulder. “Look, I also think she’s nitpicking here, but she does have a point.” she told the short-haired girl who was trying to stare down Sugarcoat (with little success). Putting on a big smile she cooed: “So, could you please be so kind and accept your character failed so we can continue?”

Sitting back down Sunny grumbled something that vaguely sounded like a “Fine.”

With her face in the dirt Nightheart stared up at the three creatures. Squinting their eyes they showed their fangs at her, grinning slightly while one slapped his clobber against his hand. The femme fatale gulped, quickly crawling onto her knees. She didn’t know what was worse: The fact she was about to get beaten up, or their smell.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU EVIL MONSTERS!” Startled the three goblins turned their heads. The rest of the party had jumped out of the bushes, the Axe holding her weapon in both hands while Snakes and Honeytooth held their guitar respectively staff ready. Heroically pointing her sword at the goblins Thunderblade stood at the front. “You servants of the dragon shall not lay a hand on our comrade!” she declared, raising her weapon towards the sky. “For honour and glory, we shall face you in a fight that will turn into a legend, a tale so grand it will be recited for centu-“

“Excuse me, but could you give me a strength buff?” the Axe cut her off. The paladin seemed a bit irritated for a moment, but then nodded.

“Oh, right, of course.” Thunderblade turned towards the Axe, holding out her hand to her. A bright gleam surrounded the orc brute for a moment, before a crest of light popped up over her head. The luminescent emblem bore the sign of a clenched fist. “There you go!” the paladin stated, then raised her sword again. “ALRIGHT! Now for honour and glory, we shall face you in a fight that-”

“Sorry, but could I get a wisdom buff please?” Honeytooth interrupted her with an innocent smile plastered over her face. Thunderblade slumped slightly, looking a little annoyed at her comrade. “Hey, don’t look like that!” the priestess told her strictly. “I need it so I can heal YOUR wounds better!”

With a sigh Thunderblade held out her hand. After being surrounded by light for a second a transparent crest with the emblem of a book appeared above Honeytooth. “Thank you!” she chirped.

“Yeah yeah, whatever” the paladin murmured, before raising her sword once more in vigor. “ALRIGHT! For honour and glory we-”

“Hey, can you give me a strength buff too?” Snakes chimed in.

Dropping her blade Thunderblade turned towards the bard. “You’re a bard! You don’t need strength!”

Snakes grinned. “Yeah, but the fist looks just RATSSS!”

Thunderblade rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Fine” she mumbled, casting the strength buff on Snakes.

“AWESSSSOME!” the snake-woman hissed.

The paladin breathed in sharply, slowly holding up her sword. “Alright” she began again, trying to keep her composure. “For honour and-”

Her speech was again interrupted as Nightheart, who was back on her feet cleared her throat. “Um, pardon me please, but could you be so kind and-”

“WHAT?!” Thunderblade shouted, the vein on her forehead twitching in fury. “Want me to give you an agility boost so you can hop around a little more elegantly?! Or maybe you need a buff in manners so you guys STOP INTERRUPTNG MY AWESOME PEP SPEECH!!!”

Arms crossed over her chest Nightheart stared sternly at the paladin. “Okay, first, you aren’t seriously suggesting your manners are better than mine? And second…” She then paused to dodge the strike of a goblin, barely evading the hard clobber. “I don’t need a buff, I need the paladin to stop psyching herself up and get her butt over here to protect me like she is supposed to!” she blared at Thunderblade while dancing around the goblin’s attacks.

Although she was gazing furiously at Nightheart a slight blush crept onto the cheeks of the champion. “Alright, alright” she muttered. “But you’re gonna let me finish my next pep speech!” She pulled back her sword, taking a fighting stance. Multiple crests of light popped up above her head, the paladin grinning as the air around her begin to shimmer in holy energy.

“Time to show ‘em my stuff!” she declared, her eyes gleaming with the fire of the sun. Hollering a mighty battle cry that raised her spirit Thunderblade stormed forward. Surrounded by a golden aura she seemed to be flying over the ground, leaving a trail of churned earth in her wake. The goblin who attacked Nightheart stopped, looking in horror at the paladin charging at it. As she stormed towards her target Thunderblade raised her sword, the edge being encased in a golden light that made it three times bigger than normally. Just in front of the goblin she planted her boot into the ground, swiftly striking her weapon downwards. Like an arrow from a bow string the light was shot off her blade, flying forward as a holy beam of light cutting everything in its path. With the speed of light it hit the wall of the mountain, leaving a deep cut in the hard rock.

Thunderblade panted, her face covered in sweat. The light around her and her blade dispersed, while she felt the strength from her other buffs fading as well. As the dust began to settle she could see the victim of her attack.

She has missed it.

Her jaw dropped the paladin stared in front of her, nearly letting go of her sword. Her attack had left a deep chasm in the ground that reached up to the scar in the mountain. Next to the cleft the goblin was standing, completely unharmed and snickering.

“You shouldn’t have used all your buffs in one attack” she could hear the voice of the Axe calling out from behind her. “Goblins are very good at evading attacks.”

The blunt words of the orc and giggles of the goblin made the champion scowl. “And you’re telling me that NOW?” she mourned, narrowing her eyes in annoyance. They went wide open again however when she noticed a shadow in front of her face. Seeing the clobber reach for her she tried to evade, but her heavy armor made her just a second too slow. All of her comrades winced upon the smack. The impact sent her tilting over, lying on her back with her arms spread out on the ground. There was an awkward smile on her face, while her eyes looked like they were counting the stars circling above her head.

“Don’t worry, I got this!” Honeytooth quickly called out, rushing over to the wounded paladin while the Axe spurted towards the goblin, clenching her large weapon in both hands.

Watching the scene Nightheart put her hands on her hips, her arms slightly covered by her cloak, and let out a sigh. “Oh well, at last she got that creep’s attention from myikes!” Pushed forward she put both her hands on her back, feeling a sharp pain jolting through it. With a grin that showed its rotten teeth the goblin behind her raised its arm, preparing for another strike. Stumbling Nightheart barely evaded the second blow, hastily fumbling around the dagger in her hand as she turned around. Before she even had the chance to counterattack however she bumped with her back against something, and heard a loud shriek. A moment later she shrieked herself as she fell down, taking down and landing on whoever she had bumped into. Groaning she rubbed her masked forehead, feeling a little dizzy. Her senses abruptly sharpened however when a snarl beneath her made her realize who she had landed on.

”GET OFF!!” Honeytooth blared into Nightheart’s ear. The rogue felt like hundreds of tiny needles were poking into her back where she lay on priestess’ face, as if lots of tiny hairs were growing out from it. Quickly she got back up on her feet.

“S-sorry!” Nightheart quickly apologized, turning around and reaching a hand out for the girl on the ground. The priestess pouted, the slight layer of fur disappearing again as she took Nightheart's hand and let herself be helped up. She seemed like she was about to scold the rogue, but was cut off by a clobber going down right between the two heroines. Startled they quickly glanced at the goblin in front of them and then at each other, their eyes wide in shock, before making a run for it. The goblin chased after them, swinging his clobber through the air and barely missing the two as they were racing around the still unconscious Thunderblade.

Meanwhile the Axe was swinging her two-handed weapon in wide arcs at the remaining two of the pesky creatures. But her opponents were surprisingly fleet-footed, jumping back at each of her attacks and grinning with their fawn teeth at her. The wart-strewn face of the orc turned even more aggressive as she pulled back her weapon for an especially powerful strike. No matter how much strength her attacks had however, the large weapon moved so slowly the goblins had no trouble avoiding it, laughing at the slow brute. With a grunt the Axe stopped her assault, slumping her shoulders. She looked over to Snakes, who was standing on the side with the guitar in her hand. “Hey, can you play a song that will improve my precision?” she asked her.

Looking up at the stars Snakes pondered for a moment. “Hmmmm nope” she eventually replied.

“Then how about one that will lower their chance to evade?”

“Uh-uh.”

“A song that enhances the reach of my weapon.”

“Wait a sec… nope.”

With a sore look Sugarcoat turned to Lemon. “Did you give your character any skills that actually make use of your guitar somehow?”

Lemon looked over her character sheet for a moment. “Err… nope.”

“Great” Sugarcoat murmured. “This means my character is basically useless, because the goblins have way too high evasion for her to hit them. And one of our buffers who could fix this has no buffs, while the other one is dazzled.”

With a dice in her hand Indigo glared at Sugarcoat. “Hey, I don’t have a precision buff either!” she told her sternly. “And don’t blame us you picked a class who can do nothing but swing her axe and hope she doesn’t miss.”

“I love the irony of this comment” Sour snickered “You know, since it’s coming from the girl who wasted all her abilities because HER CHARACTER MISSED!!!” Everybody stared at the huffing and puffing Sour as if they were expecting her to turn into a fanged beast.

With a sigh Indigo raised the hand with the dice. “Alright, ten or higher and I wake up” she declared, throwing the dice. It rolled over the table, the numerous sides dancing on the map until it came to a halt…

Feeling a little groggy the paladin got back to her senses. She put a hand on her aching head, mumbling as she slowly stood up again. Once she was on her feet she took a look around. At first she thought to be still in a daze for everything seemed to turn around her, until she realized it were actually Nightheart and Honeytooth running around her, screaming while a goblin was going after them. She first looked a little confused at the scene, before a big grin formed on her face. As her comrades had passed her she stuck out her foot, the goblin running right into it. Screeching the creature stumbled, falling flat on its face. The champion looked down on it, rather proud of her work.

Suddenly the confidence vanished from her face when she noticed the other two goblins were approaching her from the side. The one on the ground also quickly got on its feet again, staring furiously at the paladin. A little worried Thunderblade stepped back. She couldn’t retreat far however before she bumped against Nightheart and Honeytooth. Soon the Axe and Snakes joined them, driven back by the other two goblins. Standing shoulder to shoulder the five heroines faced the three monsters baring their fangs at them. Nervously the group moved backwards, their muscles stiff from tension. Eventually their backs bumped against the mountain, leaving no room to escape the approaching creatures.

“Well, we held out a few more seconds than I thought” the Axe stated.

Thunderblade held out her sword towards the goblins, barely able to hide her panic. “Um… anybody got an ace up their sleeve left?” the champion asked, a hint of despair in her voice.

Hastily Snakes’ snake eyes looked around. When she spotted a rock behind the three goblins she suddenly snapped with her fingers. “Hey, I ttthink I have an idea!” the bard exclaimed.

“Oh please!” Nightheart muttered, waving her off. “As if you could contribute anything productive.”

Honeytooth looked at the three angry monsters. “Well, seeing how she can hardly make things worse, I’d say GO FOR IT!” she shouted.

After taking in a deep breath the snake-woman dashed forward, keeping her body close to the ground as she slithered past the goblins. They and her companions stared in surprise as she winded herself around the rock, wrapping her tail around it while raising her body into the air. Turned towards the gaping audience the bard held the neck of her guitar tightly with one hand, raising the other one towards the full moon.

“FLASH MOB!!!” she yelled, pulling on all the strings simultaneously. The melody cut through the dark, startling everybody. The animals in the forest howled and screamed, but their noises were soon drowned by the enthusiastic snake-woman as she shouted and wiggled her body on the rock, playing with feverish passion on her instrument.

Dumbstruck the rest of the heroes stared at their bard. The goblins also watched her, one tilting its head in confusion while another scratched its bald head. Suddenly the third one began to tap its feet to the rhythm. The other two first stared at it in surprise, but soon also joined in. One began to twitch its shoulders to the beat, and another bopped its head, slightly at first, then steadily harder. As if on command they began to move their hands and feet to the music, shuffling while pointing with their thumbs to the sides. Turning around themselves they spun like gyroscopes over to the bard, clapping their hands as they stopped in a line right in front of the rock. Following the melody of the snake-woman they put on a wild choreography, moving in perfect sync to each other. Snakes’ tongue danced in the air as she wailed away on her guitar, the goblins shaking, shuffling and twisting their bodies to the banging rhythm.

Thunderblade, Nightheart and Honeytooth stared awkwardly at the scene, before glancing at each other. Eventually however they shrugged their shoulders, and jumped over to the rock. Joining the flash mob they moved alongside the goblins, clapping their hands and bopping their heads while stomping their feet on the ground. Her arms crossed in front of her the Axe glared at the dancing party of heroes and monsters, growing increasingly more furious. When they performed a moonwalk under the full moon she couldn’t hold back anymore.

“STOP!” Sugarcoat pointed at the rule book. “There is no check for flash mobs!”

Holding her hands like she was playing on a guitar Lemon looked at Sugarcoat. “Aw come on, that’d be so cool!” she begged her, putting a hand on her character sheet. “And I need to do something with this music stat! I spent like half of my points on it, but never get to use it because all we ever do is fight!”

Indigo raised an eyebrow. “You make it sound like that’s a problem.”

Taking the rule book Sugarcoat held it up. “The rules precisely describe what stat needs to be checked in which situation” she lectured the green-haired girl, opening the book on the corresponding page. “The music stat would be helpful in cities to earn money by performing on the street, or gain the trust of a stranger in a conversation. However, if you had made some research before creating your character you would have noticed there are no cities or conversations in this scenario.” She closed the book again, glancing at Lemon. “So, I’m afraid the music stat is pretty much useless.”

Lemon dropped her head on the table. “Bummer…”

A cough turned everybody’s attention towards Sunny. “Um, as much as I hate to say this, but…” She hesitated a moment, before stating with a smile: “I’m on Lemon’s side.”

Four pairs of eyes grew wide in surprise. “REALLY?!”

“Well, yeah” Sunny confirmed. “Of course, I would have never used such a silly formulation like flash mob in a medieval fantasy game. But I find getting the goblins to cease fighting via music to be a rather creative and original way to solve the situation peacefully.”

Sour put a hand on her chin. “Well, it is funny” she admitted. “Dumb, but funny.”

Again Sugarcoat placed her finger on the rule book. “But there is no rule goblins can be convinced to join flash mobs!” she insisted.

Indigo, who had been sitting around with her head and arms on the table, sat up straight. “Alright, who thinks goblins should be able to join flash mobs?” she asked.

Everybody but Sugarcoat raised a hand.

“You can’t just add rules through democratic vote!” Sugarcoat told them.

“Who thinks we should be able to add rules through democratic votes?” Indigo asked.

Everybody but Sugarcoat raised a hand.

“Then it’s settled” Indigo confidently declared. “Now let’s go on!”

Sugarcoat slumped in her chair, grumbling.

After dancing with the heroines for a while the goblins bid them farewell, setting out to spread the magic of flash mobs through the lands. Snakes waved after them, until their silhouettes completely disappeared in the dark forest. “Nothing like a good flash mob to make new friendsss” she hissed in content.

“It was kind of amusing” Nightheart admitted, wiping some dust off her clothes. A little more sharply she remarked: “Of course it would have been better if you actually played some decent music instead of making noise.”

Snakes narrowed her eyes. “Careful there” she warned the rogue, licking her poison fangs with her the tips of her tongue. Quickly Thunderblade stepped between the two, holding a hand out to each.

“Hey, would you two cut it?” she scolded them, before saying more softly: “We defeated the goblins! I’d say that’s a reason to celebrate.”

“We didn’t really defeat them” Sugarcoat reminded the paladin, looking rather grumpy. “And considering our performance in battle, I’d say it was sheer luck we made it out.”

Honeytooth walked up behind her. “Aw, come on” she tweeted into her ear, pinching a big wart on her cheek. “A victory is a victory – so stop being such a dork.”

The orc brute shook her off. “I’m not a dork, just a realist” she informed the priestess. “Also, if I may remind you…” She turned around, everybody else following her gaze. The whole atmosphere suddenly became a lot more tense and serious, looks of concern and worry crossing the heroines’ faces.

Staring into gaping darkness the group looked at the cave that led into the mountain. A slight breeze was blowing out of it, making their hair flutter slightly.

“…the real battle is just about to start.”

Comments

[Regreme]

.... XDDDD Hilarious way to handle that battle. Sure, there's no rule for such a thing, but there's no rule against such a creative countermeasure. XD

[MrAskAPirate]

'Roll some dice for effect and then make some stuff up' D&D is Best D&D,

[Tank the turtle]

“You can’t just add rules through democratic vote!” Sugarcoat told them.

“Who thinks we should be able to add rules through democratic votes?” Indigo asked.

Everybody but Sugarcoat raised a hand.

Perfect

[BenRG]

Somehow it makes sense that Lemon Zest would somehow win the day by being... herself.

[Animation Crusader]

I liked Lemon's approach to the goblin battle. Everything could use a little spontaneity here and there. Plus, the idea of goblins being attracted to Lemon's kind of music is amusing. Onward to the dragon's cave!

[Csquared08]

“You can’t just add rules through democratic vote!” Sugarcoat told them.

“Who thinks we should be able to add rules through democratic votes?” Indigo asked.

Everybody but Sugarcoat raised a hand.

It's almost as if the DM can just make up their own house rules 🤔