Jade - 19th of Megan '15 EoH - Noon
I was still giggling about David’s fixation on his new toy by the time we had managed to trade every tradeable item for a small assortment of coins, food, a quality tent, and some odds and ends David needed from an alchemist’s shop. I couldn’t help it, I was adorable! Like giving a nymph a stuffed toy filled with rice you had warmed up.
David was in a pretty good mood as far as I could tell. The Alchemist had gone to traded a few vials of stuff for a book which David was happy to have. There also was plenty of coin for the journey, and well there was something I had wanted to try since I was a nymph.
“Hey, David. Are we going to stay here overnight?” I asked curiously.
His reply was instant. “No. You’ve seen the food prices, a room here will be more than we can afford.”
I nodded, that I had pretty much figured, but…
“Well… I was wondering, I’ve never gotten to eat pony food before, and well at the moment I can!” I explained slowly before flashing David doe eyes and asking, “Could we get something to eat before leaving?”
“Hell yeah.” David chuckled, “It’s lunchtime.”
“Yay!” I beamed David a full force pony grin, then had to stop in my track and rub my cheeks “Ow!”
“Huh… So… those grins are practiced, not biological. Interesting.” David said with a small nod.
“Apparently.” I muttered. That really stung…
Fortunately my mouth was fine after a few minutes, just enough time to be given directions for Applewood’s only inn, the Frightful Falcon. I was loving this city. It was a little disheartening to be under the open sky, but the whole sea of people of all kinds was amazing!
As we walked to the inn I saw ponies of every kind, Minotaurs, a kelpie, some deer, a few cows, the tail end of ether a giant snake or a lamia, and even a sphinx! Though the sphinx was just napping on a rooftop. I made sure to get the best look that I could at her though. With some luck that would be enough for me to work out a Sphinx form with some practice, she was very pretty.
The Falcon was a pretty small place, which I honestly enjoyed. It looked a bit old, but the inside was cared for very well and decorated in a nice dark brown wood with green curtains and tablecloths for accents. That made the whole inn a nice contrast to most people’s pelts. It let me get a great look at everyone!
I sighed wistfully as David and I finally were seated at a table. “I wish we had time to stay here… A few weeks and I could learn a new form or three.”
“How does that work anyways?” David asked with a curious expression. “Your shifting I mean.”
“Oh well, we separate our consciousnesses from our bodies, destroy the old body, make a new one, and put ourselves into it.” I explained. “If you want to do a certain form, you need to know how it works. Most biological creatures are easy to learn, you just watch them for a while and see how they move and you can make yourself look like one… But if you want to actually be one you need to study a lot of things about them so you can well, make one.
“It’s um… It sounds harder than it is. It just takes us time, our brains kinda just pick up on the details of the how. Like if someone throws a ball, there is a ton of stuff involved in your catching the ball, but you just sort of do. Which is why if you’re really good at shifting you can even do inanimate objects, make up your own forms from total scratch…
“I once heard about a ling who turned himself into a heart and ribs to replace his lovers after she was hit by a troll’s club. Grafted himself permanently into her, saving her life. The only real limit to what we can do, well, we Scouts at least, is our imaginations, practice, and how much energy we have available.” I finished.
David gave me an understanding nod, “It’s not all instinct though, you need to practice?”
I nodded twice. “Yeah. I mean, I could turn into a squid right now. I would probably look really bad, and I would definitely not move right. It’s like drawing. It’s an art.”
David nodded, opening his mouth to say something when a light blue bar mare seemingly teleported next to the table, “Are you just drinking, or do you want a meal today?”
“Oh!” I blushed, slightly startled by her sudden appearance. “I’d like to try a fish meal please.”
“Trout ‘n Chips sound good?” The maid asked.
I nodded, “Also some water please.”
She nodded and turned slowly to David, “Do you… need anything?” she asked carefully.
David sighed and turned to the mare with a tired expression, “You’re fine. Pony tastes terrible. It’s a myth. If you have any read meat, I’ll have that in a medium rare. If not, some bread and a pint of whatever your house ale is.”
“Okay, I’ll bring that right to you.” she said before darting off.
After a few minutes of talking about how far I was getting at learning how to use my shortsword, our food was brought to the table, David paid for the meals, and our conversation suddenly shifted.
“You know, I think you know far more about me, than I know about you.” David said in an interested tone, as he destroyed my expectations by cutting the steak he had been bought with a knife other than his Bowie. It was a small, folding, silver thing that he just pulled out of a pocket.
“Yeah… I kinda ask a lot of questions.” I admitted with a smile, “Sorry. What would you like to know?”
“Well… It might be painful, but I would like to know about your folks.” David said gently. “You’re my friend, I feel like I should at least know who they were.”
My ears fell as my mind flashed back four days. “I-it’s a little soon…”
David nodded, “I understand. How about your home then? What was the huge electrum sun above the doors for?”
“Oh!” I said smiling gratefully at the change of topic. “That’s the symbol of the sun, the provider of all life, warmth, and hope. Our hive was founded by changelings who believed the old legends and myths. The Alicorn in charge of the sun is supposed to be like this nearly all-loving person, and those in her care will want for nothing which can be provided. It’s a symbol meant to bring good luck and safety.”
I cleared my throat softly, “N-not that it worked… But the stories also say that Chrysalis's fought and killed the Sun so well… yeah I guess that adds up.”
David winced sharply. “Ooo…”
“What?” I asked, trying to push the sad back down into a deep hole where I would never have to address it again.
“I pictured punching a star. Just… ow.” David muttered.
“No, the sun, not stars.” I said, a bit confused as to how he misheard me.
David’s palm impacted his face hard enough for me to hear a small crack. “Tell you what Jade, since you are traveling with me for now, the least I can do is give you an elementary school level education. The sun is also a star.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Uh, no it’s not. It’s like the moon.”
David sighed again and turned back to his steak. “Skip it.”
“The hell we will!” I demanded, taking an angry bite of fish. “The sun revolved around the world, just like the moon.
“That’s just an illusion caused by the world rotating along its axis. The sun is stationary, and the world moves around it, with the moon moving around the world.” David said, completely wrongly.
“Do you have a telescope?” I asked in a deadpan expression.
“Well, no but-”
“If you ever get a telescope look at the sun. It’s just like the moon, only on fire.” I sighed.
“Fine, whatever.” David grunted turning back to his steak angrily.
He stayed quiet for a long time, long enough for him to finish his meal, and for me to almost finish my own. Our argument hadn’t affected my enjoyment of my first pony meal. It was delicious! All I had ever eaten before was love infused Dross, and the probably some ambient affection as an adult. This stuff was delicious!
As I reached for another bit of tangy fish David finally started talking again. “I don’t mean to be rude, but can you get that wrapped up? This place is… very close to one I was ambushed in.”
My ears perked in alarm as I looked up. I understood war veterans quirks, my mother had been one after all, “Oh? Why didn’t you say so before?”
“Well, there’s nowhere else for starters. Also I’m well aware that it’s an irrational fear. It’s simply eating away at me is all. I keep thinking someone is about to ask me for my papers… That’s how it started.” David finished with a weary sigh, and started to take a deep gulp from his mug.
Midway through David’s explanation, I noticed a new pony in the inn. A unicorn mare with a shiny white coat, shockingly blue eyes, and singleton straw yellow mane and tail cut into a nice, short cropped pixie bob and a simple long flowing tail, and a cutiemark of a silver star with a lightning bolt coming out of it.
She had a pair of backpacks on, and by her naughty/bemused facial expression, had overheard David talking, and was about three microns from pulling a prank on him.
I smiled slightly, this might be pretty funny!
The mare quickly trotted over, used her deep blue magic to tap David's shoulder gently and asked in a bubbly Germane accent, “Excuse me herr traveler, may I see your pa-”
David spit his drink out in a panic, pegging me right in the face! I heard his voice cracked as he shouted, “Contact!”
David’s chair crashed to the ground as he twisted up and threw a punch in one smooth motion. In a heartbeat the mare was on the floor, rubbing her face with a hoof.
“Verdamme dich gehirn!” She groaned feebly.
David’s hand flew under his cloak for his knife. I jumped to my hooves at the same time as half a dozen patrons got up, their own weapons suddenly drawn!
Leaping forward, I grabbed David’s arm with my hooves to keep him from drawing his blade. “Whoa! David! Knock it off! She’s just a prankster!”
David growled, still trying to draw his knife, it was getting hard to hold his arm still.
A few of the patrons began to advance on us. Gulping fearfully I called, “It’s okay everypony! He’s just a war veteran!”
A collective groan filled the inn.
“Sun’s light! Not another one…” Somepony muttered.
“What do you expect? Prance sent so many dogs to the war it’s a wonder the whole place isn’t flooded with them.” another said.
I just prevented a senseless fight. It felt good! Hopefully David would snap out of it soon, because-
The mare pushed herself up to her hooves and took a half step back. She gave the two of us a apologetic smile, “Eh, sorry. I heard your conversation, and I like joke-”
“It. Wasn’t. Funny.” David said n a half growl, stopping struggling with a deep breath. “Where the fuck did you learn that accent?” He demanded through narrowed eyes.
The mare blinked, confused beyond reason.
“Uh, she’s from Germaney.” I said slowly. “So you know, German accent.”
“There aren’t any Aryan unicorns in Germany!” David shot back.
“Uh, ja there are. It’s our homeland.” the blond mare said, looking as confused as I was.
David looked at us both like we were insane, “Germany. Unicorns, are from Germany.”
“Ja, but you are saying it wrong.” the mare said in an annoyed tone, “It’s Germaney. Mane, not man.”
David froze, blinked once, looked the mare dead in her eyes and asked. “Do you mean to tell me, that there is a place on this planet, called Germaney, populated by unicorns, who speak with a German accent?”
The mare sighed a long, sad, annoyed sigh, ears flattening slightly. “Ja, sträuben Hölle, ich bin mit einem anderen Idioten jetzt stecken…”
David’s right eye opened wide while his left eye remained still. “Zum Teufel? Du sprichst Deutsch?”
My ears perked in surprise, “You didn’t tell me you spoke Germane!”
David and the mare had a fairly long conversation in Germane. I wish I knew the language, as it was I had to guess most of what was being said. The mare seemed to be explaining something to David, which David would occasionally interrupt with an explanation of his own. After a few minutes the both started to laugh, and to my amazement shared a hug!
I was just about to demand an explanation when David turned to me with the silliest grin ever and stood his chair back up. “Okay, so, want to hear the real Nazi conspiracy?”
“Uh, if that’s what you were talking about.” I answered carefully.
David nodded. “Yeah. Apparently over in Germaney about ninety years ago a group of unicorns best described as racist dicks started the whole ‘ethnic purity’ deal and after some time go public office… Look the entire war my people fought was against the leader of exactly the same thing here, same guy! Apparently her people couldn’t kill him so they threw him through a portal to banish him.”
“Ja,” the mare said with a sad laugh, “apparently he ended up whenever David’s from and did the whole deal all over again. Eh… sorry.” she apologized.
“It’s fine. History is history. Besides, I doubt your grandparents knew there was life on the other side of that portal. Anyways, since he spoke the same language, and… well it’s not that important… Though it does explain the Nazi obsession with occult. Hitler knew magic was real. Maybe he wanted to get back… Wait,” David turned to the mare quickly, “You said he succeeded here, is that why you are well… white, blond haired and blue eyed?”
“Ja. All germanes born after his reign are.” she confirmed, “He destroyed our genetic diversity company, a lot of us look like siblings even if we aren't… That's one reason I left, I was going crazy seeing my own face. Master race my plot…”
“Anyway,” David sighed, “I’m sorry. But you understand why I hit you right?”
She nodded grimly, “Ja… I’m sorry you were kept in a concentration camp… I hope the ones where you lived were not as bad as the ones our history books talk about.”
“Probably worse…” David muttered. “Just… Just don’t ask for my papers again please.”
“Concentration Camp?” I asked, not sure what they meant. “Like, a camp where they make you focus on things?”
I got the harshest look out of both the germane mare and David. “No/Nine!” They chorused.
“Think Prisoner of War and Forced Labor camp.” David muttered.
“Oh! Er-” I shuffled my hooves nervously.
“It’s okay, you didn’t know. Besides, I wasn’t there long. Just three months… Still had to avoid the Gustapo though…” David trailed off, stopping speaking with a detached look on his face before turning back to the mare who had started all of this, “Sorry for the punch… I’m leaving town soon but I am a doctor if it feels like something's broken I’ll look before I go. I honestly feel bad about hitting a lady.”
The mare blinked, grinned, then giggled, “I’m a stallion.”
David and I gave the mare, stallion, no definitely mare, a long hard look. “R-really?” I asked.
“Ja!” She, no he giggled.
“I call bullshit! You are a girl.” David stated in an insistent tone.
“Nine.” he flashed David and I a grin then turned around for a quick moment, briefly lifting his tail and-
“Ah, yep. Guy.” David quickly retracted, as we both were forced to see where all of Azur's maleness apparently decided to go.
It would have been hot if he wasn't so otherwise female looking. Stupid girly colt...
“Sorry for the lewd display,” the extremely mareish stallion said in a totally unapologetic, dare I say proud, tone, “people think I’m a mare all the time. That is the only way I have found to prove I’m not one… Not that it make much difference realy.”
“Well then,” David said clearing his throat, “I hate hitting absurdly adorable guys even more. If there is anything I can do for you Mr…?”
“Azur Lilly.” Azur replied, making me sputter slightly.
“That’s is totally a mare’s name!” I objected.
“Ja! I know. I changed I when I left home. I enjoy my looks, just not being called a mare.” Azur said with a laugh. “Besides, shouldn’t you be used to everyone’s looks not always matching their name? Or do changelings not stay shifted at home?”
David and I grew real quiet. So quiet that Azur continued, “It’s obvious, because you forgot to change your rear hooves. They are still chitin covered.”
I eeped and looked back to find that sure enough, instead of pony hooves my ear legs ended in sleek, shiny chitin.
“Good eye kid.” David said sounding impressed.
“Danka!” Azur said with a smile. “But I already knew before seeing you… See, I worked with the city guard until this morning, and they received some intelligence about a certain mine being raised, and griffons looking for a survivor, who we discovered was you.”
Azur nodded her, I mean his, head towards me gently. My heart skipped three beats, if the city knew who I was, and that the griffons were after me, then that meant they would turn me over to prevent the griffons from burning the whole place down!
David nodded grimly, “I see… You are going to turn us over to the Griffons.”
“Buck nein!” Azur shouted in horror, eyes widening, “I was dismissed from service and told to escort you two safely out of the country. My- eh, the Captain has… political reasons for keeping you alive, and I want to leave this… this…”
Azur quickly looked around the inn, and looked to David and muttered, “Jauchegrube der bauerntölpel sie ein Land nennen, das ist so arm und dumm sie jahrhunderte hinter alle anderen sind.”
I had no idea what he said, but it sounded really bad and hateful. Also Azur totally sounded like a mare. I was starting to become convinced that what he had shown off was an illusion spell...
“Whoa… Uh… Think that elitist preaching rubbed off on you a bit.” David said taken aback.
Okay so it was bad.
I cleared my throat, “The city Captain ordered you to help us get to safety? How?”
“By ship.” Azur said simply. “We can go to Capsan and I have the money to get you safely to Zebraca… You’ll have to walk to get anywhere good, the ships here are expensive, and can’t travel very far.”
I paused for a moment, that had been David and my plan so far. Not that particular city we didn't’ actually know what any port was called. I turned to look at David, “She knows where the ports are, we need her.”
“Him.” Azur corrected patiently.
My ears drooped, “I’m sorry but I can’t wrap my head around that.”
David sighed and gave me an amused look before asking, “You know dogs have a great nose right?”
I nodded. “Sure everyling dose.”
David leaned over and sniffed Azur’s head for a few seconds. Then blinked in surprise. “Is that… Is that strawberries and cream?”
Azur nodded. “Ja… I uh… I know. But I needed at least one luxury to stay sane here.”
David smiled in a way that was both delighted and amused. “I can’t possibly imagine how long that set you back, assuming you were saving to move out of here.”
“One year and two months.” Azur replied.
I cleared my throat loudly.
“Oh! Yeah. Right.” David turned back to me and looked me in the eyes, “He’s a guy… With really expensive taste in shampoo given the technology I have seen thus far.”
“Are you sure?” I asked giving Azur a suspicious look. “Hold on let me…”
I narrowed my eyes and intensely focused on the unicorn, willing my shifting powers to take note of the particular form so I could mimic it. That would tell me absolutely everything about-
“Oh my gosh, you're a stallion!” I gasped, “I’m so sorry!”
“Told you so.” Azur giggled. Then his face fell a bit, “Oh… I forgot. The Captain’s intelligence also said the Griffons knew you are here and are planning an attack for sometime today. We should get out of the cit-”
At that exact moment, every single window shattered, twelve large griffons dressed in head to talon iron plate armor flew through the now empty spaces, glass flew inwards amidst panicked screams as ponies bolted for the doors. The griffons took a half second to spot us, drew short swords, and began to advance slowly.
David and Azur shared a soldier's irritated look.
“You need faster intelligence.” David remarked.
“Seconded!” I squeaked.
“If we don’t die, I’ll see what I can do!” Azur eeped.
Hitler was from Equestria........ I can not describe how hard I was laughing at that
This story is getting really, and I mean REALLY good, I cant wait to see where this go's, who else we pick up, and what adventures our band get into!
6511653 We have a Wizard, a Rouge, and a Cleric... The party shroud be balanced enough for now.
Ah, the bit where David and Azur both shouted no, you spelled nein as nine instead...
Regardless, so many updates!
Um... How does he know?
That is just plain freaky. That would certainly explain the obsession with the occult. Also, thanks a lot for sending us Hitler.
------
6511703 That's got to be a spellcheck issue, I found this one too...
Meep, I think you own the one spellchecker that "fixes" the words that don't need fixing and misses the ones that do.
6511760 Maybe he ate horse once before becoming a diamond dog?
6511807 Actually, I think it's a case of Spellcheck Is Not Intelligent. If the word is spelled correctly, as in it's a real word, spell check ignores it. No spelling error, right? It's a real word, so no problems here, right? Spell check can only go so far.
6511680 But they don't have a large Meat Shield who carries a giant weapon yet!
The thing is, now I'm wondering what would happen to Azur the first time he steps in Poison Joke. Getting gender-bent would just be cliche. Hilarious as all get out, but cliche. Especially if they don't run into anyone who knows the cure for a while.
6509996
wow Hitler really messed them up if guys look like girls.
For some reason I feel as if the griffons don't know what their in for
6511680 What no ranger?
But I see your point, and in all your story's the 'three main lead' combo really seems to work well.
6511831 From what we've seen for Poison Joke....I half expect it'd make Azur look particularly masculine instead of doing an honest gender swap. After all, he does like looking feminine.
6511760 In addition to Bri_Chan's answer, well David is a battlefield scavenger....so if he's ever been on the short side of starvation, then desperate measures.
So now we've got the three of them together. Glad to see that misunderstanding cleared up for Dave & Azur. Now instead we'll get to see how well they work together against this flock of idjits. The locals seem to rather dislike the griffins as well, though....so I half expect that if somepony can lash out at them without being seen to do so, there might be some unexpected help.
Great chapter, Meep. And thank you for the reminder that Jade isn't particularly experienced yet. Though I now wonder how many others noted that she'd forgotten to swap her rear hooves throughout the day.
So ... Hitler was a racist unicorn from Germaneigh who got banished to Earth, took a look around and decided that a new body form wasn't about to stop his plans for racial superiority? That was all sorts of surreal and awesome at the same time
I'm actually surprised how well Dave and Azure have hit it off - I sort of imagined that he would be extremely pissed after the "prank" Azure pulled on him, given it's a traumatic experience for him, but he brushed it off pretty effortlessly. Though I suppose the shock and incredulity about the whole "germaneigh" thing could have overwritten the previous emotions to some degree.
There is one thing I'm unsure about though - how long do unicorns live in your verse? Because Azure was mussing how he had hoped to amass enough wealth in a few hundred years to live like a lord or something. My first thought was that he was a dragon at that point, but later it mentioned hooves and stuff in the previous chapter, so my next thought was "alicorn", but clearly that's not the case either. Though it was mentioned that Diamond Dogs could live for hundreds of years, so I suppose other species could share that trait.
And man, if Azure was accurate in his assessment of how backwards and traditionalist Stalliongrad is, and not just being dramatic (I guess he wasn't, seeing the minotaur captain didn't appreciate having a mage in the city guard), one really does have to wonder why the Gryphons want to annex it - they have no worthwhile natural resources after all.
And it's always fun to see Dave trying to apply our world standards to Equestria (what's the name of the planet by the way?) - I guess that's another thing he will have to learn is different with enough time. Preferably through much shock and incredulity so that we get some funny reactions
First thing's first though, that being the upcoming tussle - I guess we will get to see Dave's new gun in action
6512359
6511680 we need a tank and a hunter to round this out.
6511703 XD Sorry, I guess that comes from speaking the language but being illiterate in it.
6511760 Well he could not know and be saying that to calm people down, or like me, he could have tried horse on an Indian reservation. It's TERRIBLE.
6511807
Weirdly less dangerous than Starswirll sending the dazlings.
6511827 That's certainly possible. I have. My grandmother is Full blooded Cherokee and practices a lot of the old stuff. A horse of hers dided so she butcher it Oh my god s horse terrbad... since ponies are literately just short horses... they probably taste the same or worse.
6511829 I'm using Google Docs... it should know German.
6511938 He was going to practice eugenics in a time before there was a knowledge of genetics. I'm sure you can see the problems.
6512093 The US GI base class realy has a lot of perks... It's like Bard.
6511831 It would more likely screw with his magic in some way than his appearance. You'll see why soon.
6512356 Plenty likly noticed XD But, a lone Changeling isn't much of a threat. Plus she was standing next to a guy of a species who can punch you into the ground. Literally.
6512993 But nine is still a real word, and GDocs probably wouldn't have had enough context to determine that you didn't mean the number. Like I said, it's not intelligent - it looks at words around the one it's checking, and that won't tell it what you mean.
6512359
This is what happens when my girlfriend is in the next room playing conspiracy theory videos while I write
It's REALY hard to stay mad at a Pony, especially given a major coincidence like that. I mean come on, could you stay mad at this?
2.bp.blogspot.com/-TsJ13n3c774/Tnpc8zmI3TI/AAAAAAAAMpY/7_TBfVnqYCU/s1600/61512+-+apple_bloom+artist+mysticalpha+bambi_eyes+brunch+scrunchy.jpg
Ponies have a long lifespan. The average pony will live to around 300 years. With good health and clean living they can do 360, some powerful mages can reach 600 via life extending spells. Most species live a pritty long time due to the world's ambient magic making things a bit better than on Earth.
It's a cultural thing. They sort of live on merit. War is their primary way of gaining social importance. SO yes the nation is valueless, but if you are a Griffon, the glory of war might make it valuable to you if you can pry your self some glory out of a battle there.
Equis.
6513031 Ill polish it up later, maybe there is an addon for using additional languages.
6513032
Ha, I bet other species grumbled about that before bowing down to the pony-majority label
6512356 Can't believe that I didn't even think that.
6513412 Technically his name is ether of those. One is just the Germane spelling of Azure :P They dont realy end words with silent letters.
6513083 It's actually a Dracuqonius word. It means "this planet".
Just remembered I had this gif, felt appropriate.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/24/986756__safe_oc_clothes_animated_upvotes+galore_plot_pegasus_hat_cloud_earth+pony.gif
6513887 Why the hell did my brain put this music to it? It docent even fit ><
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MB2R8o4JSo
6513977 I... what? XD That doesn't fit AT ALL
But I laughed so hard listening to this and watching that, ether we have weird humor, or we are VERY bad ponies.
6514829 I'm not a pony, I'm a changeling. So technicaly I can't be a bad pony. THis is not a good thing to be aware of, if you want me to behave in a normal way
Now those are some unpleasant stories. Hopefully they're just telephone game versions of what happened at the wedding and not an actual AU take on changed events.
I hope we get to see David receive a lesson in magical stellar mechanics.
Man, that "papers please" joke was such a poor idea on Lily's part.
Huh, unexpected alternate background story for Hitler, can't say that I saw that coming. Interesting idea I suppose, especially so since Earth as a dumping ground for creatures that need to be banished is technically canon.
I'm even less impressed with the security of this town now that an entire squad of griffon attackers made it in so quickly through all the defenses.
6517014
It's a telephone game deal.
The more you know about Hitler, the more hilarious it gets. The dude was a flaming idiot of the intelligence level of an MLP villein. Also prone to hissyfits like an 80s cartoon villein. Also the dude legit believed magic was real.
It's not surprising actually, if you noticed in the last chapter, Griffons have permission from Stalliongrad's King to quarter troops in the nation. So they just got waved through.
6517060
Ahh, yeah I remember that now.
I can't believe it took me this long, but I added an Equisverse Canon Beta folder to the Equisverse group, and added this story. If you haven't seen the group yet, here's a link.
So, effeminate unicorn with a German accent. That looks like a mare except where it counts.
...Damn, New fetish.
reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/agape.gif
I have one thing to say to the Hitler from Equestria bomb: HOLY THRONE!
6692860 have you seen hellsing?
You screwed up the name: it is obviously Schrodinger's cat. Afterall he/she is everyvhere and novhere!
Uhm....Why does the sequel description call Azur a mare? I think "he" is truly a mare but managed to hide it somehow even from a changeling's gaze. Ooooo...conspiracy.
6981549
Basically while he likes being a male and having a penis, he also likes looking and acting like a female. He embraces this side of himself more and more as the story progresses, I think he start presenting as female just before they leave on the boat. (its been a while since I read this, only now re-reading)
7466064
Spoiler!!! Put a spoiler thing on your comment
8961968 Oh wow yeah that's a blatent spoiler :c
*wince!*
Without a special solar filter, that's the fastest way to turn your eyeball into a briquette you'll ever be likely to find.
Oh thank Luna. I'm sitting here thinking, "I thought he was a guy" as she keeps calling the newcomer a mare, because... well, hay, I may only have the defective "non-determined orientation" model gaydar, but it was pinging like a submarine with Pinkie tap dancing on the sonar station controls!
And a girly colt... who is a smartass and a bonafide wizard... do tell me more!
I have read many a fanfic in my time, and never has the Aerosmith song ‘Dude (Looks Like a Lady)’ fit as much as it does here.