Years before Littlepip stepped from Stable 2, the Wasteland greeted all ponies with it's usual contempt. Tome Tale and his silent partner, Stranger, live day to day on their next bag of caps, until they stumble into something bigger than themselves.
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7397672 Well, looks like we delivered on some of this with the newest chapter.
Good to see this story is still kicking. I do like where you're going with your aero though. Wasn't a fan of him originally but he's growing on me. I'll leave a longer review when I get out of work so until then, take it easy.
7556394 sure thing. I look forward to it. :)
While the in medias coitus introduction was certainly surprising and at least written coherently enough to make any confusion only temporary, the choice to go for such a scene was rather disappointing. The last chapter ended on a particularly memorable and significant point, so to follow that ending up with sex diminishes the value quite substantially. If there had been a build-up of tension in the previous chapter to relieve, I might have found this scene more acceptable.
If it really was 'immediately,' maybe the fierce response from Tome Tale should be what follows Aero's question, instead of the realization that 'it struck a nerve in him.'
It's a strange hypocrisy. Stranger's a character of few words, which always prove powerful in their paucity. But to read Stranger saying whole complex sentences... his words are somehow even more powerful than before. That and I do like the change in his approach to Tome's flaws.
Now that is the kind of whiplash I expect from a filly that has gone through the things she has.
Nice execution on that scene.
Your action scenes are certainly getting better! That one was a definite nail biter.
How would he read that title so quickly without his glasses on?
The timberwolf encounter is definitely the highlight of the chapter as it demonstrates just how much better you have gotten at writing action scenes in a coherent and exciting style. The character development and Stable inbreeding issue on the side were nice additions as well, making the story feel more and more alive. Although the entire chapter once more takes place inside a Stable, there was not a moment I felt bored with the story, which is something FoE authors often create during these Stable chapters. So well done on pacing and immersion.
However, the narration still interferes with mood and flow at important parts of the story. Tome Tale's obsessive need to explain that he is having a revelation or a moment of anger, rather than have it be shown through immediate action, thought, or dialogue, diminishes some scenes. The attention to detail is something to appreciate, but if it gets in the way of storytelling, then it should probably be toned down.
But overall I enjoyed the chapter. Looking forward to the next one!