Mkay, I stopped halfway through the chapter (fluttershys breackdown).
At first, your story was a sweet and funny little romance.
Than, with "The Magic" as main twist for drama, you have gone of the angle a bit, but it was still readable and within a reasonable mlp-continuum.
Now? You just throw things into your fic, like ELE or Dr. Whooves, for now reason at all. I will assume, that your plot didn`t work llike you wanted, and now you try to rescue the fic. Don`t do that. Better to cancle a good fic, than to let it suffer through his own parody. Because that`s how you loose reader.
1301820 'Spiderman: One More Day' is a Spiderman comic wherein Peter Parker makes a deal with the devil. As a result, he loses his relationship with Mary Jane, and basically everything goes to Tartarus in a hoof-basket.
It's one of Linkara's least favorite comics of all time. And if you need to know who Linkara is, google 'Atop The Fourth Wall'.
1303324 No, I remember it now, thanks. And no, that's not where this is heading. So here's a hint: Look at my in-story time line, first visit is six months before she reappears, what else happened six months back (Not Skyla, I treat kids as sacred).
1329426 the hero league never took off, probably because Fluttershy was on both sides... Also, you were closer to the truth earlier, with the hades gambit.
I swear to Celestia, if you decide to pull 'Spiderman: One More Day' on us, I will toss you into an Atomic Rainboom.
encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ1sdtfYEatBiVLxXc-I-eRbZape7FDJMpVHtVgUq_fk8-a4CFZRw
Anyways, decent chapter, if a bit rushed. Perhaps some more descriptions of the intervening time?
First The Doctor and now Slender... Who the fuck else did she meet in hell?
No but seriously can't wait for more.
New chapter, finally a new update for one of my favorite fics![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Ok Fluttershy was bugging me before but now she is just pissing me off.
This story is so bucking mixed up with the feelings. Give me an hour to process my feel. so much different feel to know right now
....Well that escalated quickly.
1299162
Yes. So. Much. Yes.
Mkay, I stopped halfway through the chapter (fluttershys breackdown).
At first, your story was a sweet and funny little romance.
Than, with "The Magic" as main twist for drama, you have gone of the angle a bit, but it was still readable and within a reasonable mlp-continuum.
Now? You just throw things into your fic, like ELE or Dr. Whooves, for now reason at all. I will assume, that your plot didn`t work llike you wanted, and now you try to rescue the fic. Don`t do that. Better to cancle a good fic, than to let it suffer through his own parody. Because that`s how you loose reader.
1301529 Did you not get the DW references like two chapters back? Honestly, he was there. Still according to my master plans BTW.
1299652 Yeah, I've pulled 3 24 hour shifts this past week, I'm really out of it, just go with boss. Thanks for the heads up bout the typo.
1299162 Your reference escapes me good Brony. Please clarify.
1299296 Spoilers.
To everyone else, there should only be one more big surprise, but the diligent may have cracked that already, so just sit tight and enjoy the ride.
1301820 'Spiderman: One More Day' is a Spiderman comic wherein Peter Parker makes a deal with the devil. As a result, he loses his relationship with Mary Jane, and basically everything goes to Tartarus in a hoof-basket.
It's one of Linkara's least favorite comics of all time. And if you need to know who Linkara is, google 'Atop The Fourth Wall'.
1303324 No, I remember it now, thanks. And no, that's not where this is heading. So here's a hint: Look at my in-story time line, first visit is six months before she reappears, what else happened six months back (Not Skyla, I treat kids as sacred).
1306488 Actually... you're on the right track Neo, keep with it.
Fuck yeah new chapter!
Also:
Seriously?![:ajbemused:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajbemused.png)
1308141 Luna named it. What do you expect?
1311586 you had it. but no, i'm not going there. all i will say here is that one pony is due redemption.
That last paragraph with Spike and Owlowicious just priceless. Keep up the great work. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
1329426 the hero league never took off, probably because Fluttershy was on both sides... Also, you were closer to the truth earlier, with the hades gambit.
1399215 Really, this long? And no one has yet to catch my Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett references? Come on... Although, hey Neo, how ya doing?
I do suppose this is a better cover art source...![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
![:raritywink:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/raritywink.png)
Memebase doesn't really make their own images, you know...
Even without the clop that wold have still been worth reading! Perfect! :)![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)