Pestilentia (Part 1)
“Wowie-zowie! I’ve always wanted to go to Manehattan! I love big cities, with the lights and the buildings and the stores and the food and all the ponies everywhere! It’ll be great!” Pinkie Pie was hopping across the deck of the EQD Lusitania, occasionally sticking out her hoof impulsively to run it across the bars of the catwalk. Accompanied by none other then Fluttershy, who was plodding after her very hesitantly. The yellow pony was currently hiding behind her curtain of hair, none too happy that Pinkie decided to insist on her coming to one of the only points on the ship she would be perfectly aware of how high up they were.
The two friends had wanted to join Rainbow Dash as she went out to fly along the airship. The option to do so was open to most pegasi, and they almost always accepted. Being in the air but unable to fly was restricting for them, and Rainbow Dash got very bored very quickly. They were going to the observation deck to watch all the pegasi fly free, but Fluttershy’s fear of heights was quickly catching up to her. She had been very hesitant to even get on the airship, and since they had borded she had become more and more cloistered. Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, was happily jumping across the catwalk, completely oblivious to the hight. Her ulterior motive to this trip was to try to get Fluttershy's vertigo from getting the best of her. Based on her prior experience with some of the pony's many many phobias, she guessed she might have to be a bit forceful, but it would pay off.
They couldn’t actually go on the top of the airship, only pegasi were allowed outside, but the haze of being so high still made Fluttershy queazy. Pinkie Pie had reached the door to the observation deck and pulled it open, whizzing inside. It was several seconds before she noticed her companion was missing, Fluttershy was still making stuttering, tiny steps across the catwalk. Pinkie Pie bounced over to her position, where Fluttershy had her wing gripped tightly to the handrail even though there was nowhere to fall. Pinkie Pie was next to her and turned in the direction of the door, mocking Fluttershy’s tiny steps with equally tiny hops.
“Silly filly!” Pinkie exclaimed, addressing the shaking Fluttershy, “You’re going at a turtle’s pace, or maybe a snail, what’s slower, a turtle or a snail? I’m not sure, maybe we should race them once we get home, then we can see which one’s faster!” As Pinkie Pie continued her monologue, she absent-mindedly increased the speed of her hopping and was again several dozen feet ahead of Fluttershy. She sped back and decisively planted her hooves against Fluttershy’s flank, pushing firmly and making her slide across the catwalk.
“Pinkie, um, I-I don’ t really want to see outside...” Fluttershy weakly protested as Pinkie slid her over her to the observation deck. Pinkie Pie stopped pushing and straightened up.
“What!? Why not?” She asked over-dramatically, acting as if the nervous pony had just suggested they sink the ship.
“Because, well, it’s just that...um...we’re really high.” Fluttershy squeaked, Pinkie Pie stared, dumbstruck for a moment, then laughed.
“Of course we’re high, Shy! We’re on a balloon! Balloons float!” She then resumed shoving the hesitant pegasus, ignoring any further protests she squeaked.
-----
“Look, we’re so high up! It’s like you can see the whole world from up here!” The filly lifted her arms to the scene in front of her to exaggerate her point.
It was true, the observation deck hovered just below the cloud level, the planes and mountains stretched on for what seemed like forever. The larger towns were perfectly visible, sometimes they could even make out the distant shapes of pegasi drifting just high enough. What remained constant were the pegasi that zipped across the window every now and then, with coats of all different colors and at different speeds. Pinkie followed them for as long as she could, sometimes trotting all the way to the corner of the giant window to follow their trail. Pinkie Pie finally noticed Fluttershy wasn’t with her and turned around, trying to find her somewhere. The room was glowing orange from the afternoon sun, several sofas and other comfy-looking chairs were scattered around the floor. Pinkie scanned the room and finally noticed the shy yellow pegasus trying to creep her way out of the door.
“Hey Fluttershy, where are ya going?” Fluttershy jumped and spun around, coming face-to-face with her enthusiastic captor.
“Oh, nowhere.” Fluttershy murmured, bowing her head in defeat, Pinkie grabbed her hoof and dragged her over to the window, planting her directly behind the glass and taking a seat beside her. Fluttershy’s eyes grew in fear as she looked down, seeing the ground so far below them.
“Um, Pinkie Pie...I don’t like this.” Fluttershy whispered, backing away from the evidence that she was so far off the safety of the ground.
“Don’t...be...such...a...‘fraidy-cat Shy! It’s so pretty, look!” Pinkie Pie grunted as she pushed her hesitant victim towards the window once more and attempted to pry Fluttershy’s hooves away from her eyes. She put up a good fight, but the assertive party pony was stronger and managed to wrench her arms away. The pegasus closed her eyes, but eventually felt compelled to open them, after a few minutes of terrifying vertigo, she started to appreciate it. She couldn’t remember ever having seen Equestria from this high before. Pinkie Pie was already pointing things out and chattering away, her face pressed against the window, fogging it up with her breath. After a few minutes of non-stop talking, the pink earth pony finally closed her mouth for a few seconds and drew a smile in the fog on the glass, giggling at her little friend. She then looked up and noticed-
“Hey! There’s Rainbow Dash!” It was indeed, the blue pegasus flew right in front of the observation deck and then hovered right in front of it, waving to the deck’s occupants. Fluttershy wiggled her hoof a bit in the pegasus’s direction, while Pinkie was waving so hard it seemed her hoof was on fire. The blue mare then pointed up and then simulated opening a hatch and jumping into it, Pinkie Pie seemed to understand and nodded vigorously. Rainbow Dash nodded, looking satisfied, and preformed quick loop in the air. After a few more spins, she flew up and over the deck.
“What was she saying?” Fluttershy asked, turning to the empty space where Pinkie was just sitting, she turned and noticed the earth pony near the door.
“Who? Dashie? She said she was coming inside, I’m going to meet her there. Do you wanna come?” She asked, gesturing to the ceiling, Fluttershy was relieved to be presented with an option instead of being forced down any more hallways.
“No thanks Pinkie, I’m going to head over to the library to see if Twilight needs any help.” The pegasus responded, trotting towards the door and across the hallway after they said their goodbyes.
Pinkie Pie wandered down the hallway, humming to herself. She thought of Fluttershy and how she could help her get over her countless fears, dragons, heights, even other ponies. Pinkie couldn’t fathom why she was so timid, after all, the party pony was the boldest individual of Ponyville, she knew everyone. Bonbon, Lyra, Berry Punch, Big Mac, Colgate, Sweetie Belle...
Pinkie lost her train of thought momentarily when she tried to remember where she was. She heard a loud thunking and a hum that shook the ground, she must be near the engine room. Pinkie decided to take a detour, she had never met engineers before, but she bet they were super nice! She thought about meeting new ponies and cheered up even more, regaining her bounce as she continued down the hallway. The open catwalk ended and went instead to a dark hallway, the lights were poorly treated and flickered or went out entirely. Pinkie’s bounce slowed and then finally stopped, the noises had grown louder, but she had still seen no one at all. The next hallway she turned down looked weird, there was a long, green smear across the wall that trailed to a door. Curiosity got the best of Pinkie and she trotted over to the door, as she walked, she looked at the funny stuff. It was several different shades of green, all clustered together, it wasn’t liquid though. It looked like the stuff she sometimes saw on trees or cupcakes that she left out too long, she would have to remember to ask Twilight about it later.
She was at the door now, Pinkie hesitated before nudging the door open slightly, the noise had reached a climax and ow the thunking and groaning of the engines was all she could hear. She peeked inside and saw the back of a large round engine with the panel flicked open. Huddled over the panel was not a pony, as she had expected, but something else entirely. It was standing on only two legs instead of four and used it’s front legs to touch the panel. It was dark green and had no mane of any kind, it from the back, it had a black strap across it’s head and seemed to be wearing some kind of mask.
"Hey! Who are you? I've never met you before..." The creature jumped, obviously thinking it was alone, and automatically froze over the panel. Pinkie, thinking he must be shy, walked up to the creature and stuck out a hoof in greeting.
"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name?" The creature straightened up, seemed to brace itself for a moment, then turned around abruptly. Pinkie Pie was shocked and automatically drew back, the creature's face was completely black, with twin shiny ports that only reflected the world outside. Even more terrifying was the short, tubelike trunk that hung off the creature's face. She wanted to gasp, but managed to hold it in for the sake of meeting somepony new. Her fear left quickly enough though, now replaced with intrigue, she wondered what this new creature was and what it was doing here.
"Woah! What's up with your face?" She asked, the creature finally responded to one of her questions, though not verbally. It instead lifted it's hands slowly to it's "face" and pushed up the gas mask onto it's forehead. Pinke Pie looked significantly cheered by the fact it was just a mask after all. When the mask came up, however, the Ponyvile socialite looked less cheery.
"Are you okay? You look kinda sick..." The creature was a sickly green color, it's face was covered in a thin coat of bile and other indistinguishable kinds of slime, it's eyes appeared closed, but Pinkie saw a sliver of white peeking out from the rotten eyelids. Several pustules were scattered across the face, shining in the light and slick with pus. When it heard the pink pony's statement, the creature's face broke into a ghastly grin showing black, corroded teeth, worn down from bile and vomit. The creature then took a deep breath in, pausing every now and then to cough or sputter. Pinkie Pie stared at it, wondering what it could possibly be doing, she flipped through several options in her brain and finally concluded it wanted to have a breath holding contest. The party pony was never one to turn down a challenge, she too breathed in and puffed her cheeks out, looking very sure of herself. Her assumption proved wrong when the creature, instead of holding it's breath, puffed it all back out. Instead of an invisible blast of carbon dioxide, a huge green cloud of smog seeped up from the putrid throat. The cloud covered Pinkie Pie, she let all the air she was holding out as she coughed from the smoke she felt herself get much weaker, her knees buckled and she leaned over to try to keep standing. She looked up at the thing above her, it was about her hight, but it suddenly seemed so much bigger. The creature, still grinning, placed a hand on her forehead and pushed her out of her kneeling position, forcing her to instead lie on the floor. The creature walked up to her form on the ground and pushed it's mask back into place, the eye-ports shining from glare of the lights on the ceiling.
"Remember the name Pestilence Ms.Pie, for this is the day that marks the beginning of the end of Equestria." It pulled out a small black rod with an even smaller red button on the end. It reached back and took a small chip from the control panel on the engine, inserting it into the gizmo. It then turned back and stepped over the crippled pony, walking over to the door and pushing it open. Pinkie Pie's vision started clotting up, the lights seemed brighter as her eyes started to close by themselves, her last sight being Pestilence walking down the corridor and leaving her behind.
-----
Twilight Sparkle was sitting in the library of the Lusitania, a huge, circular room with a large window at one end. Sitting on the edge of the window was a large brass telescope that would be useful for studying stars and planets at night. It was at this telescope that Twilight sat at now, since afternoon had faded into darkness, she now tried to count how many constellations she could name. She peered into the telescope and then withdrew her gaze to mark the position of the constellation Achernar on her star chart. She had just finished writing the name when the door to the library flew open and Spike ran in, looking very distressed.
“Twilight...it’s Pinkie Pie...she...she...” He was doubled over and breathing heavily, Twilight quickly trotted over to him and picked him up magically.
“What Spike? What is it?” Twilight asked, after a few seconds of catching his wind, Spike answered.
“I’m not sure! She was out cold and all green, she might be sick.” Twilight Sparkle dropped Spike and jogged to the door, flinging it open with her magic. She ran down the hallway, trying to remember where the doctor's office was, she walked across catwalks and decks, trying to avoid all the company she could, but still bumping into some passengers. She finally saw a sign with an arrow pointing to the back of the ship and a small red cross. She ran to where the arrow was pointing and found the door to the room, flinging it open. She saw some of her friends already there, standing over a bed that was covered by a blue curtain. She trotted over, panting from her cross-deck run, and looked over at the bed. Pinkie was lying on the bed, fast asleep and looking worse for wear. She was a sickly shade of green, her fur was matted down and she seemed like she was in pain, her mouth curled into what she would have called a "stomachache face" and her eyes being weighed down by heavy bags.
"What happened!?" Twilight asked in alarm, she had never seen the overenthusiastic pony look so weak.
"I'm sorry Twilight," Rarity apologized, "We sent Spike over to the library to get you but that was at the other end of the ship. In fact, we're still waiting for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy to get here."
Applejack stepped forward. "We already asked the nurse about her, but all she told us was-"
"We have no idea." Said a voice behind her, Twilight was a bit startled, she turned to see a mare trotting up to where they stood.
"What do you mean you have no idea?" Twilight asked, she never normally questioned the competence of professionals but she could make an exception when one of her friends's safety was in the question.
"All right, do you want the short version or the long version?" The mare asked, pulling out a clipboard and a pair of reading glasses.
"Long version please."
"Okay, we found her in the Lusitania's engine room, she was completely conked out, we found green stuff on the walls and the engine's control panel. There was no one else there, the engine crew was on break at the time We thought it was the engine's fumes but we ruled that out."
"Why?" Twilight asked, the nurse lowered her clipboard and gave Twilight a patronizing look.
"Have you seen her? She's bucking green!" Twilight frowned at the nurse's language and looked back at her friends for support. Applejack and Rarity seemed fixated on Pinkie though, so Twilight decided to handle it herself.
"Well why is she green?" Twilight asked, the nurse looked extremely annoyed as she tucked her clipboard away.
"Again, I stress the fact that I don't know. I normally put band-aids on foals that cut themselves or mend broken bones, I don't know jack about diseases." Twilight looked very downtrodden by this news, making the nurse soften up a bit. "Listen, you can give it a rest, there are lots of excellent doctors in Manehattan and I'm sure your friend will be just fine." Just as she finished speaking, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy ran in the door and ran over to the bed in the corner.
"Hey! We came as fast as we could! Is she all right?" The rainbow-maned pegasus joined the cluster standing around Pinkie's bed and stared down at her friend's sleeping form.
"Oh no!" Fluttershy cried, fawning over the unconscious form. Twilight turned to her, she guessed the animal expert probably knew her sicknesses better then the nurse did and hurried over to her.
"What? Did you find something?" She asked, they all crowded closer to hear the answer.
"Yes, look there!" The yellow pegasus pointed to the patient's forehead where an imprint sat, it was hard to make out, but the imprint was a much darker green then the rest of her face. It was a certain shape, but the form was smudged by a thick liquid that oozed across the imprint. Twilight Sparkle magically grabbed a wet rag from a sink nearby and wiped at the substance, transferring the slime to the rag in the process. Pinkie's forehead gradually became clear, the mark still a darker green, but no longer covered. It was a circle in the middle with five sticks branching outward, Twilight wondered if it was a mark left over from a spell. As she leaned in to get a closer look, an muffled blast came from somewhere else and the entire ship shook suddenly.
-----
"What the hay was that?" Applejack asked, the others looked around the ward in a worrying manner. Another explosion rocked the ship, making it tilt to the left and tipping everyone in the room against the wall. The bed slammed agains the wall and Pinkie woke up abruptly, looking around in fear.
"What!? What's going on!?" She yelled to no one in particular, the PA system came on and a voice was heard all throughout the ship.
"Everyone please return to your rooms calmly and strap into the emergency restraint seat provided, there will be attendants at all doors to provide assistance to whoever needs it, thank you." The tone of the speaker was monotonous and official, the nurse tended to the distraught pony in the bed as the others watched worriedly.
"Don't worry," the nurse said, without turning, "I'll strap her down and take good care of her, all of you get to your rooms now!" The five others turned and ran over to their proper rooms, Twilight's being in the same direction as Fluttershy's, they ran together. They made it to the Lusitania's dining hub when ship was struck with another blast. The shaking caused the windows to blast open and shower the floor with glass, chairs and lighter objects flew around and struck panicked passengers as attendants tried to help them. As they reached the next hallway, Twilight and Fluttershy split off i separate directions. Twilight got to her room and hurried over to the far end, where the restraint seats sat. She thought about something she was missing, but decided impulse was probably better at this point and ran over to her seat. Just as she was about to buckle herself in, she looked over and finally wondered why she had two seats. She felt her blood run cold as she remembered, Spike was still in the Library.
She jumped up from her seat and ran over to the door, trying not to panic as she imagined all the awful scenarios possible. The intercom came on again, the previously metronome tone now sounding much more panicked.
"All passengers get to your restraint seats NOW. Repeat, all passengers-" The intercom fizzed out as a much larger explosion wracked the ship, making it shudder and vibrate even more violently. Now almost every object that wasn't bolted to the floor was flying around, smashing when it hit walls...or ponies. The floor was covered in small puddles of blood, screams and shouts echoed all over the room. Twilight tried her hared to ignore it, she closed her eyes totry to block it all out, but almost fell when she tripped over a body on the ground. She reached out with her magic and found the library door, flinging it open. The first thing she noticed was the wind, her rational thought noticed wind on an airship was probably not safe. She ran around the room, trying to shake her mane away from her vision and ignore the loud whistling in her ear. Loose pages and thinner books were flying around, bookcases had released their contents, which now slammed into walls. The telescope had shattered, bits of twisted brass and lens were among the smaller objects flying around the room. Twilight searched frantically until she found a small, purple form lying on the ground, she ran over to it and saw the spines and scales that marked her assistant.
"Spike!" She called out, trying her best to approach him, he was lying in a small field of broken glass from the window, small pools of blood surrounded his small form, which only made the worried unicorn more anxious to get to him. Twilight cast a life-sensing spell and found that he was only unconscious, though he was injured. She breathed a sigh of relief and picked him up magically, being careful not to let him hit anything else. The blood was from several shards of glass that had become embedded across his skin. He had very tough scales, so they couldn't be hurting him, but at the speed they were traveling he must have sustained a few wounds. Twilight reasoned he couldn't be too hurt, he had probably been knocked out by a flying book and fallen onto the glass. She must have found him soon afterwards, since the wind was caused by the room depressurizing. She turned and was about to run out when some part of the ship exploded so intensely she was blown off her feet.
The ship now tilted completely to the left, making her slide across the floor until she hit the left-side wall, smacking her head against a bookcase. She was completely dazed, her vision blurred up and she fought to stay awake as she grabbed Spike. The ship was almost tilted completely to the side, causing the bookcases on the opposite wall to come crashing to the floor and slide towards them. Twilight tried to stand up and move away, but the tilt of the ship made her question whether to stand on the floor or the wall. She managed an awkward combination of both, propping herself between a bookcase and it's stand while trying to balance Spike on her back.
The tall shelf slammed against her end of the room, knocking most of the books off some of the opposite cases. Twilight looked ahead and noticed a closed window in front of her, she knew she had to get across it, but doubted it would hold her weight. The ship then tilted even more, the floor now almost completely switching places with the rows of bookcases, letting Twilight walk on the wall. The remaining bookcases slammed against the wall, some splintering and breaking, others just tearing apart completely. One shelf hit the window in front of her, shattering it and leaving an almost-empty pane in it's place. Twilight galloped forward and jumped over the hole, feeling a blast of cold air as she traveled over it. As soon as she reached the other side, she kept her momentum up, almost to the...wall? The tilt of the ship had put the door neer the center of the wall she faced, one of the doors had been shaken off and the other, the one closer to her, had been blown open. Twilight awkwardly stood up on her hind legs and grappled to reach the door, she fumbled for a fer moments until she finally managed to find a groove to hold onto. She hoisted herself up and onto the door, pulling Spike up magically. She lay down on the door, completely spent, the world was spinning around her.
Which it actually was, the captain had managed to somehow straighten the ship a bit more, making Twilight slide down and onto the floor, still leaning against the open door. She was breathing heavily from the exhilaration, but noticed another noise, the door she was leaning on was staring to break. It wan't too far to fall, but if the ship rocked again she didn't want to be in the same room as all those heavy things. The student tried to stand up, but realized her mistake too late, the door snapped off it's hinge and fell against the bookcases on the wall. Twilight jumped before it hit, grabbing onto the doorframe and holding on to Spike's tail. The ship rightened itself even more, almost back to normal, letting Twilight actually walk now. She stood up and threw the injured dragon onto her back once more, starting back to her room and out of the library. Running across the dining hub again, she a few bodies, either unconscious or dead stacked on top of a huge pile of tables, chairs, and an assortment of other things on the left side of the room.
She hurried across, now in the hallway to her room, Twilight noticed most of the doors had been blown off and there were many scared-looking ponies sitting inside the rooms. She sprinted the last few paces to her room and flung the door open, not even taking note that it was still there. Twilight grabbed Spike and put him in his restraining chair, strapping him in and lowering the restraint onto his shoulders. She did the same to herself and slammed the door telekinetically, finally allowing herself to relax. Looking around the room, she noticed everything, like all the other rooms, was stacked against the left wall, the restraint chairs were bolted onto the wall, so they didn't follow the tilt. She finally noticed her injuries much more acutely, she too had several glass shard stuck in her fur and she was bruised and battered from the books and bookshelves that had fallen on her. The ship suddenly started shaking slightly, she thought it was another explosion, but she didn't hear a blast. The vibrating went on for quite awhile until it intensified greatly, throwing both the student and her seat-mate forward, the strap and restraint dug into her, burning from the friction. One part of the strap pushed against a glass shard in her chest, embedding it even further. She heard the rattling and the shaking and suddenly realized they were landing. Continuing to vibrate for a while, the ship then tilted dangerously and a grinding, shrieking noise echoed across the ship, after a few minutes of hearing nothing but noise and alost having their teeth shaken out, the passengers of the Lusitania became very quiet. The silence was broken only when the intercom clicked on and a mare's voice came over the loudspeaker.
"Fillies and gentlecolts, we've successfully crash-landed in Manehattan. Attendants will be dispatched soon to tend to the injured and help you all out of your seats and off the plane." The voice cut out and hesitated slightly before continuing, "We hope you had a nice flight!"
Stats
Page generated in 0.08 seconds
Total duration
1,117 users online
1,749,546 hits today, 2,156,967 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I am currently publishing this chapter from France, I'm visiting some relatives but it probably won't impede my writing speed.
(Spoiler Alert)
Yes, the first horseman is NOT Famine as hinted in the first part and in TBOI, there's a very good reason for this, but I can't tell you what.
Also, the heroes of this part are indeedy the Mane 6! They're the biggest group out of all four parts, the other averaging out around 5 or 4.
You can drop a comment, faves are always appreciated and so are follows!
--->
Stay thirsty my bronies.
~Mat
IT'S PESTILENCE! WHO HAPPENS TO BE MY FAV:D
Ok, my review:
You NAILED Pinkie's personality, something I myself could never do. It's looking REALLY nice. I'd suggest adding this to a few groups, you'll have to see for yourself which ones you want to add it to, but if it gets around more, I'm sure the likes will skyrocket!
The grammar is near flawless in my eyes, the wording may be a bit weird in some places, nothing a good pre-reader can't fix though
907627 Thanks a whole bunch, I'm doing my best to focus on the other chapters right now though.
)
The funky wording is because about a third of this chapter was completely unplanned, I knew the airship would crash, but I didn't have anything planned as far as the library scene goes.
I wrote that on the fly, when I made Twilight head to her restraint chair, I pictured her room with two chairs and thought about why. Suddenly: "Oh yeaaaaah, Spike!" So I made Twilight forget too.
There will be less awkward wording in the next few chapters, which will be my focus before I try to clean this one up. I just wrote the first scene of the next chapter and so far I think it's REALLY cool.
You just get a brief glimpse of Pestilence in this chapter, but in the next one you actually get a nice slice of his full personality.
About the groups, do you know any good ones? I could really use some suggestions here, thanks a bunch as usual!
~Mat
(Also, if you want any updates on the story, I post short blog stuffs, as I know you're interested in becoming a pre-reader it might be best to keep up with what's going on.
907747 I'd suggest the Dark group, Author Help, any group that your story could fit into. I'll post it to one, but you have to do the rest.
908354 Thanks a bunch! Tell me what group you added it to. Also, I can't really figure out how to add it to any groups, do you send it to an admin or what?
910983 You have to join groups first xD
911599 All right, then is there a button to press? I seriously don't know, and I have a feeling that I should.
911601 go to the pull down menu with your name at the top and hit "Groups"
911637
Nah, I know how to join groups, I just don't know how to add stories!
907627 Hey glad you liked the story, so could you point out some of the more awkward moments in the story, please? I try to catch every little mistake, but I bet a few have went under my radar.
918375 Ah, so you're the editor. I'm basically the pre-reader. Nice to meet you. Though I'm mainly an editor myself, I do a variety of jobs for fellow writers. I shall point out the awkward wordings after I re-read, I can't seem to remember them off the top of my head
918391 Well...you're not EXACTLY the pre-reader, it's not official, it'd take a lot more dedication to be an official pre-reader and from what you told me I couldn't really impose that on you since you have a LOT of work on your plate already amirite?
However, you do keep up with the story and you do comment often so you help a lot more then any of the other readers have!
And Nicholas is right, could you pont out some of the more awkward moments in the story? I should probably fix up part one since part two is on it's way soon enough.
918604 15 Fics to edit is a ton, man. Believe me. I do try and make time for yours though, as it really is a great story. I'll make a blog post about it, at least one of my fourty followers will read it
918666 Thanks a bunch! And I was in no way complaining about your lack of dedication, hell you've helped out more then enough already!
I was just saying that if you wanted to seal the deal and become an official pre-reader, you'd have to spend a lot less time on your other fifteen, and that is a LOT of fics to edit.
So just read new chapters when you get the time and drop a comment, it helps a whole lot more then you'd think.