Night one at Humare Con
Chapter 3: Night one at Humare Con
"I already told you, I'm not thirsty!" I yelled at the mare who was trying to force me to drink some water.
"You need to stay hydrated!" The mare yelled back while trying to pry my jaws open with her hooves. Why am I not taking the water you may ask? Well it's quite simple, she put something in it. I'm pretty sure drinking that would result in me waking up in a pile of horses. That is not how I want to spend my Saturday.
The mare finally got off of me when Ruby yanked her off my chest. I unhinged my jaw and took in a breath that I didn't realize I needed.
"Thanks Ruby," I said to the dragoness that was currently holding a disgruntled pegasus.
"No problem, James." She replied as she dropped the pegasus off the stage. The pegasus caught herself before hitting the ground, but she definitely wasn't pleased with Ruby.
"You can't keep him all to yourself, Lizard!" The pegasus called out,
"OI, Don't insult her!" I yelled back causing the pegasus to look at me in shock before lowering her head. If they really knew who I was they'd know I hate racists with a passion. Hell, once I knocked a guys teeth out because he called one of my friends a wet-back. That dude didn't say another word to him for a month, and after that he said sorry.
"You didn't have to do that..."
"Too bad. You haven't proposed random sex to me so you are currently my favorite," I replied to Ruby. Seriously, I can't count how many of these mares actually asked me to go with them for a 'good time'. They couldn't take a hint either like that pegasus a few minutes ago.
"That makes you like me because?"
"They know the T.V me. Not the real me. They want a fantasy. You don' act the same so you're my favorite. Good enough?"
"I suppose so..."
"Good girl," I said while giving her a toothy smile. She returned said smile when the con's staff came in.
"You two have to go," This problem was still prevalent as ever since I had nowhere to go for the night. Discord you dumb fuck.
We started walking out of the building with a bunch of other people or rather ponies. They all knew I was the real deal now, and more than a few asked for autographs and other things. By that I mean I only had my shirt and my shorts that were originally pants before now. When we finally got out into the street and had lost the crowd I was finally alone with Ruby.
"I don't suppose I could crash with you tonight?" I asked. I had to force the question out since it was really awkward for me, and I'm pretty sure for her too.
"I suppose so. Why don't you have your own place?"
"I might have one, but the person that would know was chased off," She rubbed the back of her neck after I said that. Remember how she helped me extinguish the fire on stage after the riot. Well she was the one who blew fire on stage which caused said fire. Before he left, Discord roasted a smore over the fire before fading out of existence.
We started walking down the street towards the hotel that Ruby was staying at when a random mare shouted out to me.
"HEY, FREAK!" I turned toward the source of the shouting to spot a cyan mare with a rainbow colored mane. "YEAH, YOU! HOW ABOUT-"
"Let me stop you right there. One I'm not a freak and two you are acting like an asshole!"
"That's real nice coming from a human fucker!"
"Considering I am human I probably should fuck other humans. Nature and shit."
"I didn't need to know that!" She shouted back toward me while Ruby tried hiding behind her wings. Why was she hiding from this bitch when she was so abrupt earlier? Whatever the case we started walking away while that mare kept trying to rant at us. She tried following us for a bit like a creepy stalker before I finally stopped and turned to her.
"Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Jesus Christ you are fucking annoying!"
"Because you are sick in the head!"
"Say that one more time and I stop caring that you are a woman. I will beat your skull in." We finally were in front of the hotel, and before walking in I said one more thing to the mare. "Just try me,"
The mare didn't follow us into the lobby, but inside there were tons of the mares from the Con. When one of them noticed me I was instantly mobbed by them all. There was fur everywhere!
"Back! I said back you loonies!" I shouted as I backed into the elevator. I was using a coat rack as a makeshift weapon to keep the mares from piling into the elevator. I swear fans were crazy back home, but these guys are just over the top! I smashed my fist into one of the elevator buttons so the doors would close and cut off the mares.
"Hi!" Said a cream mare beside me. I was about to freak out when I realized that she wasn't trying to tackle me to the ground.
"Hey." I said giving her a nod when I realized something. She was that mare wearing those glasses and that hat from before.
"It's so nice to meet you James!" She is a little excited, but at least she wasn't trying to tear off my clothing.
"Nice to meet you to ms..."
"I'm Bon Bon! I can't believe I'm actually meeting James!" Okay she is really excited and is starting to creep me out a little bit.
"Nice to meet you Bon Bon." The doors finally opened up to the floor that Ruby's room was on and we stepped out much to Bon Bon's dismay. She seemed like a nice mare, but thank god I didn't have to stay around her any longer.
***Bon Bon***
Oh my Celestia he actually talked to me! James actually talked to me! Sure he had to go after a few minutes, but he still said hi too me! Stepping out of the elevator I excitedly pulled out my hotel room key and made my way over to Lyra and my hotel room. The door was relatively simple, but behind it was actually a really big suite. When I opened the door I saw Lyra relaxing on the couch.
"Hey Lyra," I said while walking by her. She was currently holding a plushie of Jason when she looked up and said,
"Hi Bonny,"
"You wont guess who's staying in the same hotel as us!" I said a little too excitedly. Lyra put down the plushie so she could focus on thinking before looking over to me for the answer. "It's James!"
Her eyes went wide and she muttered 'no way' before bouncing up and down with joy. I may have been a little excited and joined her in the jumping for joy, but can you really blame me.
"Is he exactly like he is in the show?" Lyra asked.
"We didn't talk long before he left the elevator," I said a little sad about it.
"Don't worry. Maybe he is, and you can go on adventures with him like in the fanfics,"
"I doubt that, but it is a nice thought," I said while I daydreamed of James holding me in his arms as we went on epic adventures across equestria. Who knows, maybe he will take me on an adventure with him. It's possible since his being here is unlikely so why not him going on an adventure and inviting me along?
Gah, I swear writing this story feels awkward for some reason. I don't even know why, but it just feels weird. Anyone have any idea why? Whatever the case thank you all for reading and I hope to see you next time. 
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Brilliant Concept and Story!
6428200 Thank you. I only saw the concept of a reverse fandom once so I figured that I'd give it a shot. Again thank you.
6428225 I only saw it once. It was also a one shot so it was technically complete. If you do know other fics let me know so I can give them a read.
i think u mean say instead of day
It is always awkward to write about yourself.
6428264
Not writing myself here dude. I'm a borderline pacifist while I'm writing a dude that tries to fight literally everyone in sight. In other words I'm writing my opposite which makes it awkward.
6428258 Thank you for pointing that out.
How the fuck did i miss this!?!
hang on, I have to read.
6428316 I don't know, Magic?
Okay. this is fun.
oh, Idea, you should call this Fandom the "Hand-dom"
How long will this be?
6428509 I have no idea actually. I tend to set up certain events before writing, but ideas are constant and I add them. The minimum is probably about 50,000 words or so.
6428481 The handom side of the fandom! I have to add that at some point!
6428518
To be honest I hope it's longer, are quite good at what you do.
maybe this is because I am not a native English speaker, but what does «wet-back» mean any way?
Well the story is progressing well, James seem to be aware that his fans like the idealize version they make in in their head and how he really is, that will avoid a lot of trouble for him in the future, but I don't think that he is aware of how far that can go and how others mite take advantage of his statues a a star to get what they want from him. He will probably going to make a lot of fake friends while he is in Equestria. Still I would like to know why would Discord want to bring him there in the first place, aside for the shear entertainment value for him, of course. Sill what I would find most creepy for me, in his place, would be to see Foal trying to act like me and see for myself how much of a horrible person I am in actuality; like seeing yourself doing a bad thing on a video footage.
The hell is wrong with Rainbow-bitch?
6428526
Thank you!
6428533 It's a racist term for someone from mexico. I've heard it used a few times and to say the least I lose my temper when I hear it. I myself am not from there, but a few friends are so when I hear it my blood starts to boil. Anyway you make good points again, and continue to add amazing ideas to the idea pool Mix-up. Thanks for reading.
6428535 I don't know. Butt-hurt maybe?
um I think you made a mistake here, "pulled yanked"? Doesn't look right to me, I normally don't point out errors like this, but I thought I would this time.
If Rainbow doesn't have a good reason for acting the way she did then I will consider her out of character. I'm sorry I'm complaining so much I'm just finding a lot of things to complain about.
6428657 No problem what so ever.
6428535 She's clearly an anti-humare.
6428305 Writing your polar opposite is indeed even more awkward, but you have done a fine job as of now.
6431427 Thank you.
6434720 Indeed she did.
6428533 Didn't Discord bring him there because of Fluttershy being a huge fan? If i remeber correctly she even attempted to drug him.