[Displaced] So, how does one make a living in a land of magical talking technicolor ponies? Well it certainly helps when you're a brony. Being a character that you made up also has some perks. Now if I can just find my brothers, then I'm good.
The Meh: * The MC abilities. Be careful that you don't make him overpowered. (Immortality is a pretty huge power.... so yeah, maybe 0, 1 or 2 more minor powers) * The end.
The bad: * The part where he meets the merchant sucked.
As a displaced fic, there are several things to watch out for. I made a blog post about common mistakes in displaced fics and solutions for them. Hopefully it will help. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/530330/displaced
6417854 There is so much negative because it is a concept that is used often. Incredibly often at that, and you could argue this premise has been done since the very early days of the fandom before Displaced was even a thing. When you're new to reading fics, which I assume you are since you've only had an account since January, HiE fics seem as good as any other fic. There are literally hundreds of fics that are all of equal or greater quality to this fic and have very similar premises and plots. I recommend you go on Browse, sort by Rating, and add the tag Human, so while you can still enjoy HiE you spend it reading good ones. Plus he is using someone elses' OC, which doesn't reflect well on him.
6419407 i know that displaced fics are used often. i just thought that the idea from this oc was his own - where this character is his own idea. but i can understand why someone wouldnt like it, if what you just said is true.
When you said this was your first story, it definitely shows. There's a good idea behind it, but not enough happens in the prologue that really gets the readers invested in the story.
I'll keep my eye on it for now, but it definitely could use a bit of spicing up.
Yeah, I know what your thinking, 'wait how does some random dude have a ride that fits your specific designs?' Well, I kinda already knew that this was no 'random dude' we were dealing with because I read stories (Displaced fanfiction) about how various people go missing because they buy stuff from this dude. Now, I know you're probably thinking that I was not making a smart choice, right? Then I guess I'm a part of what may be the most awesome (yet somewhat mixed up) club in the multiverse! So HAH!!! Besides that, I'm a brony, and its something of a dream to me to go to Equestria. Sure I might hit a few... bumps... but that is to be expected for people who get Displaced.
This looks good
... I dont get it. Why so much negativ?? It looks veeery promising and something not used often. I sure like it so why is it down voted?
Dude, if we ever meet up, my displace is gonna laugh his ass off. He adopted Tia and Luna as his nieces, and here you are, being a daddy.
Nice and awesome job on the story
Review time:
The Good:
* Decent start:
The Meh:
* The MC abilities. Be careful that you don't make him overpowered. (Immortality is a pretty huge power.... so yeah, maybe 0, 1 or 2 more minor powers)
* The end.
The bad:
* The part where he meets the merchant sucked.
As a displaced fic, there are several things to watch out for. I made a blog post about common mistakes in displaced fics and solutions for them. Hopefully it will help.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/530330/displaced
6417854 There is so much negative because it is a concept that is used often. Incredibly often at that, and you could argue this premise has been done since the very early days of the fandom before Displaced was even a thing. When you're new to reading fics, which I assume you are since you've only had an account since January, HiE fics seem as good as any other fic. There are literally hundreds of fics that are all of equal or greater quality to this fic and have very similar premises and plots. I recommend you go on Browse, sort by Rating, and add the tag Human, so while you can still enjoy HiE you spend it reading good ones.
Plus he is using someone elses' OC, which doesn't reflect well on him.
6419407 i know that displaced fics are used often. i just thought that the idea from this oc was his own - where this character is his own idea. but i can understand why someone wouldnt like it, if what you just said is true.
>>jeray2000 Wait has someone else already invented Necros? If so, then who?
When you said this was your first story, it definitely shows. There's a good idea behind it, but not enough happens in the prologue that really gets the readers invested in the story.
I'll keep my eye on it for now, but it definitely could use a bit of spicing up.
tse4.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Mfc8e66ba6b247f55362fedf7e3e47c00H0&pid=15.1