A blindingly bright strip of light poured through a gap in the curtains, into the temporary domain of the Lord of Chaos, as the Princess of the Sun rose her Sun into the morning sky with her magic. With a startled gasp, Discord woke up and wiped his eyes with a currently bloodless and suffocated paw. Noticing a distinct lack of feeling in his limb, he gave it a shake and a rubbed it in order to get blood to flow back into the strangled appendage. He looked over to the clock on the wall of the room to check how cruel Celestia had felt that morning.
6 am… Six o’clock, in the morning. Discord could never understand why ponies liked to wake up this early, it seemed to him like nothing more than a bother to wake up before your body told you it was ready to do so.
The memories of the previous night suddenly flooded his mind, and he realised where he was. Jumping out of bed, he snapped his fingers and teleported into Twilight’s study, the place he thought he would most likely find her. Discord had not given much thought as to what he was going to do this morning in order to follow up on the previous night’s, “complete success”, as he considered it.
This realisation hit much too late, as he was now already in the study and possibly in the presence of a certain lavender mare, whom he eagerly sought to impress with his decisiveness, confidence and… Handsome-ness? The doubt as to whether or not this was actually a word was short lived due to his vastly superior vocabulary. It should have been obvious to him from the start that “handsomeness” was a real word, as he was Discord, the one and only super-intelligent stud in Equestria, who had seen more days than most ponies had brain cells... Or so he liked to think.
Once he had finished glorifying himself in his own mind, he realised he had been stood for a long time with his talon to his chin in a deep state of meaningless contemplation. He had not been able to decide whether he was an amazing draconequus, or whether he was just an amazing draconequus; his chaotic mind eventually told him the answer was goulash, and that was a plenty satisfying revelation. He had been stuck in his trance for much too long if it was his aim to remain undetected by any other presence in the room with him at the time.
Discord could not believe his luck when Twilight was nowhere to be seen. This meant he had some extra time to think about how fantastic he considered himself, in order to bolster his confidence. He needed this confidence for the day ahead, after all, if all was to go his way.
A sudden idea came into his head which made him rather giddy: What if Twilight is not awake yet? Do I dare take a peek at her sleeping face? He quickly shook the idea out of his head, picking up the goofy grin threatening to jump off of his chin, literally. The runaway smirk had been attempting to abseil down his goatee in vaguely disturbing silence, subverting into a frown upon capture by a large paw.
He had to focus less on creeping, and more on impressing. I think I have just the thing… He chuckled to himself contentedly, quickly turning his frown upside down and smiling once again. His mind danced with images of Twilight blushing and jumping into his outstretched arms, accepting all he was, and all he had to offer her.
Stop it, Discord, get your head out of the clouds, you already took one successful gamble, but that does not mean she will be showering you with love and kisses after one unofficial date! He cursed himself. He had to be careful, not only in his actions, but also in his expectations in respect to his crush’s responses to said actions. Whether things went his way or not, Discord knew he was going to be under a lot of stress today. This is going to be a long day; better get to work on phase one of my master-plan…
----------
Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes, and hopped out of bed, surprisingly well-rested after the previous night’s happenings, ready to tackle the day head-on. She looked over to her clock, and realised how late it was: 7 am. She had overslept! Ears pressed against her head, Twilight began to feel her skin crawl with discomfort upon realisation of the fact that she had broken her daily routine of being up by 6:30 am at latest every single day, no matter what time she had gone to sleep the night before. Her left eye involuntarily twitched several times, and Twilight suddenly felt much less prepared to embrace the day ahead of her than she had mere moments ago.
Twilight swore to herself that she would never commit such an inexcusable act ever again. Realising there was little she could do about it now, she let her head droop in a sulk, and made her way to the bathroom to freshen up with a nice, long and relaxing shower.
----------
It’s perfect… Discord’s eyes twinkled with mirth as he gazed over his creation: pancakes with golden syrup and lemon juice, prepared with love in the kitchen, ready on a tray to be delivered to its intended recipient on a silver platter. Discord felt very proud of his accomplishment; it had taken a large bulk of his resolve to stop himself from snapping some pancakes into existence with his magic. After all, where would the love in that be?
Wheeling the cart on which the platter was placed across the ceiling, Discord set out to deliver his masterpiece to the sleeping beauty upstairs. Discord knew exactly where Twilight’s room was, as he had taken a few trips to have a look on one or two evenings... Or ten, 'to see how his favourite pony was doing'. However, he excused himself from feeling creepy through logical reasoning: I needed to know where she slept in advance, just in case anything like this came up. You never know what will happen to me, after all, I am the Lord of Chaos!
Discord zig-zagged his way through the painfully straight hallways of Twilight’s castle with his currently anti-gravity breakfast on wheels in hand. Once he had reached the spiral staircase, he realised he couldn’t think of anything interesting to do in order to traverse them, and so snapped his fingers to teleport, thus skipping them. No harm in cheating every once in a while to mix things up a bit.
He had finally reached the doors of his - the princess’ bedchamber, he checked himself. Slowly and awkwardly letting himself in, Discord looked around the room, his eyes passing the unfortunately regularly rectangular window directly across from him, until his mismatched pupils landed squarely (and slightly less regularly) upon Twilight’s bed, to his left.
Missing.
Where in Equestria is she?! I had better not have worked my backside off making these pancakes, only for Twilight to have up-and-left me here alone… As though in answer to his cries, Discord heard a loud running of water coming from the door just across the room from Twilight’s bed. Without considering for even a second what he could be walking into, Discord was absolutely fixated on delivering this platter to Twilight. Time seemed to slow down as Discord approached the door with a grin across his face, his mind up in cloud nine, and thus he failed to recognise his unnaturally sluggish movements. Despite this slow-motion almost definitely meant to be being taken as a sign of alarm, Discord continued his advance upon the door, a feeling of anticipation welling up inside of him for all the wrong reasons. As he reached for the handle, the only thoughts he let pass through his head were of what he hoped Twilight’s reaction would be, just as he had made the mistake of doing earlier.
----------
*sigh*, much better. Let the stress melt away with the water, as it cleanses both your body and mind… Twilight was thinking deeply and comfortably to herself as she basked in the delightfully refreshing walk-in shower she had within her luxury ensuite, or at least, she was thinking comfortably at first. she was still decoding her still cryptic memories from last night. She had had a little to drink after all; she had always been a light drinker. She remembered an interesting situation with Discord in the oddly lain-out dining room, and she had yet to decide upon what she made of Discord’s advances. She could not get her head around it, no chain of reasoning she could put together seemed to make complete and undisputed sense to her. It had been nagging in her mind for a while now, like a thorn rupturing the spleen of her sanity.
As Twilight was enjoying her well-earned shower, she suddenly remembered what had happened just before she had gone to bed the previous night. It had not stopped raining, and their little session together was over, and she had made off to her bedroom to hit the hay for the night. Not however, before offering for Discord to… Stay the night… Oh, horse-apples, he could have done any number of things to my castle! What if he plotted to put his plan into effect once he had my trust, and had me out of the way for the night?! What if… Twilight began to panic once again, her mind suddenly being yanked cruelly back into the realm of constant stress and worry by a long, shadowy, clawed limb. Its icy digits clasped around the remainder of what had been her slowly recovering mind, giving her a cold and fear inducing feeling, which brought her out in a non-temperature related sweat.
Twilight jumped out of the shower, which had all been for naught on account of her current state, both physically and mentally. She realised that she had forgotten to turn it off, and so she jumped back in again to turn the nozzle. As she reached for the knob, she heard the door of her ensuite click, and the handle turn. She jumped out of the shower again in order to cover herself; after all, in the land of Equestria, any time in a restroom was private time. It was poor etiquette to allow oneself to be seen exposed in such an environment. In an embarrassed follow-on of her manic state of panic, Twilight collapsed onto the floor, bringing her towel down with her. She had given up, and decided to lay there in exhaustion, as her towel had landed on top of her, just barely covering her now almost completely exposed body.
Discord opened the door, stepping into the room, with his cart in tow.
“Surprise!” Shouted Discord, bringing his arms up into a ‘Y’ shape above his head. He was a little let-down at first, as he had yet to receive a reaction. However, the reason for this soon became apparent, as his eyes landed upon a small, purple body, sprawled out across the soaked floor of what Discord had just discovered to be her bathroom. The panting mare was soaking wet through, in a rather undignified position on the tiles. Unfortunately for Discord, a towel had plotted against him, just barely covering up what he would really have liked to see. Curse you, towel, you will pay. I will be sure to make your life, and that of all your kin who follow, a living nightmare for the rest of eternity! Coming down off of his brief high of rage, Discord came to terms with what he was actually witnessing. A crimson blush spread from ear-to-ear across the draconequus’ face, as he could not tear his gaze away from the spectacle in front of him.
As if in shamelessly perverted trance, Discord continued to gawk, not breaking his gaze even to blink, as he committed this image to his permanent memory. He attempted to lean his gaze round the edges of the towel, but to no avail. Twilight was in just as much of a daze, as she slowly recuperated from her episode of panic and needless worry. She was the first of the two to realise what was happening, and matched Discord’s blushing expression. She gazed up at him from the floor, sitting up and covering her front with her arms, holding her towel up in a defensive position as part of a natural response. Discord gasped and reeled back in shock at his own actions, as Twilight’s eyes continued to grow wider with each passing fraction of a second. Please don’t scream, please don’t scream, please don’t scream… Discord was practically begging an unseen force to pluck him away from his current predicament.
“T-Twilight, I can explain!”
...............................................................pervert.
DIscord, you´re funny because you´re a sin against nature
oh my goooooooooood amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
cant waaaaaaaaaait
6460264 I'll take that as a sign that you liked the chapter? I'll admit that I have taken a risk, and it is my first time writing anything of this nature, so it could have gone terribly wrong.
Thanks for the continued support, however, look out for the next chapter, I'm already working on it!
Love, Lord Nito
6458864 Haha, Discord is no more a pervert than I am, after all, I wrote the chapter!
Nice to see more people giving my story attention, and I hope you continue to enjoy it in the future!
Love, Lord Nito
6461008 it´s disapointing the lack of Discolight fics so any fic is welcome
I'd like to see Discord kind of maybe -burning that towel as soon as possible. Yup. EVIL TOWEL!!!! Also, I don't get it, aren't ponies ALWAYS naked!? I am pretty sure if he caught her in a proper sitting or lying down position he would see what he wishes, hehe..... Loved this but I don't get how Discord decided that it would turn out completely different than this if he just walked in the bathroom with a plate of pancakes......... Must note, Discord was on slight creepy levels....... a bit...... Still awesome, thoe
6461751 Yeah, they are always naked, but she was in a particularly "awkward" position at that point in time, pretty cliché. Discord didn't know he was walking into a bathroom, he was way too focused on delivering his creation he was oh-so proud of to her. When one is infatuated with someone else, it is often hard not to become a little creepy, especially in situations like this one!
As I have said, this was my first attempt at writing anything of this nature, and I have eagerly been anticipating the response I would receive. It does not look as though it went down as badly as I thought it would. That ending was more of a little skit than anything particularly important, written purely for your entertainment!
Lots of Love from Lord Nito
6461792 I am expecting next chapter Twilight to pretty much blast him outta the castle
But it was going so well!!!
6461812 Well you'll have to wait and see how things turn out, for all you know, anything could happen. I would say it would be even more cliché if Twilight were to just simply get angry and throw him out. I might do that, or I might be a little more original. I focused on describing thought processes and character emotions in this chapter. However, I unfortunately feel that the rest of the chapter may be a little over shadowed by the rather sudden turn of events towards the end, which I can picture everyone focusing on. It was just a little stunt! Honest!
6461852 I kinda didn't get what was Discord even doing while carrying the pancakes
First he was on the ceiling or something and then on the floor and I didn't quite absorb that
6462883 He was on the ceiling through the halls on the way to the bedroom, but he skipped a staircase with his magic and approached the door in a regular fashion.
By the way, have you written your story yet? If not, how is that coming along?
6463475 Yeah, sorry, kinda busy with school and if not school, Steven Universe had the most ADORABLE episode ever, oh, and I am taking a few art requests, oh, that reminds me, I was asked to draw another ship-pic......... Meh, I DID say I was gonna do it today....
6463512 Don't worry, I know how it feels to experience distractions, however if you are busy drawing art, then continue with that, drawing is as much an art as writing.
I was actually hoping for more of a response to the chapter than this, I was expecting outraged readers to tell me how I failed at my first attempt at writing something of this nature. However, I haven't had that yet. It's frustrating because I need harsh criticism to be able to know what I did wrong and what I should correct for the next time I do something like this. I feel I cannot continue writing without first receiving a critique on my previous chapter first.
Well, it doesn't matter, people will hopefully tell me what they think as time passes by, I cannot expect a tonne of people to read and spend the time to criticise my story when not only do I have no publicity, but I also should not expect anyone that reads it to spend the time and effort to give their full thoughts on it.
If you wouldn't mind, could I see some of your artwork sometime, maybe?
Love, Lord Nito
6463524 First: I........... ummm... about the artwork? Well, I dunno. I usually draw mine and my friend's own hand-full of OCs , these days I have been drawing Twilight's and Discord's (seperately, I am still trainning my Discord's) in my notebook durring the four classes of English (as in the language) I have a day. Also, I think I facinated a friend into learning how to draw ponehs, wow..... And as always, posting from three to five bases/offers for people on Google+...... And I am proud of my last night work, first time drawing free-style Peridot (Heck, first time drawing Peridot even!) by looking up some base stuff...... (Like, what forms do I use for torso and underbelly and also looking at some random pictures to make all the details on costume and hair........) Anyways, rambling again.......
Second: I am sorry friend but I simply cannot be....... 'harsh' to someone without a reson.... Yeah, if he or she is rude or something but you are a little nice cinamom roll that even puts a heart on the end of every message he sends! If that is not adorable, I don't what is...... Oh, wait, tiny Perri is just as adorkable, also pancake Twily and...... getting outta track......
Anyways, for some reason I kept getting the creeper feeling outta Discord, a bit..... But it was in that kind of way in which you laugh a bit at your screen and go "Lol, 'Cord, you're such a creep!"
6463537 Hey there again! It's nice to hear you are so active with your drawing, because it is unfortunately something I never have and never will be able to do. The reason for this is because I have some circulatory problems with my body which cause my hands to shake whenever I try and do something precise with them. Every time I use a soldering iron, I burn myself because I literally shake like a tambourine whilst trying to use it. It really hurts! So instead f drawing, I make do with writing now, and I'm so glad I started doing it, it's so rewarding to write stories and receive feedback from people. You can look at your piece and say, "hey, I wrote that, I'm a freaking genius!" even if you aren't very good at it, since it is your creation, no one else's. This feeling I suspect applies to drawing too, which is why I am (sort of) totally OK with not being able to do it.
It's awesome to hear you are proud of your work, we both know how it feels to be pleased with ourselves in this respect. You got a real life friend to share your passion with? That's great, I'm so pleased for you! As I said, I have no real life friends, and even if I did I'm pretty sure none of them would be like me. A.K.A, willing to write saucy fan-fictions about characters from a kids' show and ending the majority of their messages with a heart. Most 16 year old guys think they are "too cool" for that, however I believe in the goodness of this community, and I think we should all love and respect one another. It just feels so good to spread love and kindness with people who deserve it. You understand me on that one, right?
Ah, this is so embarrassing, you have no idea how my relatives or acquaintances would react to knowing that I'm actually kind of warm and mushy inside my seemingly cold shell of an exterior. I have always considered myself a hopeless, idealistic romantic, but I have told that to no one outside of the internet community. Okay, I'm getting cheesier with every word I type down, so I'm going to have to stop.
It's totally ok, I don't expect you to critique me anyways, I'm sure other people will be willing to do so anyway, I'm just grateful that you are here to read my stories, and I'm also grateful to be able to call you a friend. You said I was adorable again! And a cinnamon roll, no less! That's so nice of you to say that, no one has ever said anything like that to me before, ever.
Anyways, I have talked for a little too long, I love talking to you and hope you continue to enjoy my work,
Lots of Love from Lord Nito
6464046 Stop! You're giving me heart attacks with your adorable and rare personality! To be honest..... I think I have an adorable Twily pic for you.....
Oh, wow.... I'm sorry for your condition.... I hope it doesn't get in the way of some basic chores?
To be honest, my family (mostly my dad) has a few times said something of the sort "Why do you have ponies on your computer?" and I am taking it steady introducing them to that I draw ponies by putting pony-related desktops on my computer, drawing stuff infront of them, leaving my papers with drawings pretty much laying all over the house.... Yesterday was a good sucess, because my mother saw my new Facebook pic (not that I use FB that often. Just the only way to conect to classmates and choir...) that was a Peridot looking at a cat and asking "Is that a weapon" and because my mom has learned a bit English but doesn't remember much asked me what does "weapon" mean so I told her and explained her the context. Even showed her part of the episode. Later on I drew my Peridot and I decided to show it to my mom since she was already familiar with it. She liked it and stuff and her words were kind of.... "You draw good and you should probably keep practising if you like it but, of course, don't forget about school." I remember times I have tried to show them my pony pictures but the answer was "I don't really understand it, I can't really help you." and such.....
I would advice you to make friends with people around you? I don't know, this year I started highschool in a new school and I am just saying 'yes' on everytime someone asks me to join them or get in the conversation and such.... For a while I have been going to Batminton trainnings and, to be honest, you can get into some interesting conversations while running 5 laps, passing the fether or doing crunches on the floor
Anyways,
Alot of jokes and Twilight's ,
Your faitfull student, TwiliYour friend, Dissy6464109 Thank you for your kind words as always, you know me, I kind of... sort of really like Twilight.
It is only a minor condition which doesn't require any medical attention, I just have to live with it. It mostly does not interrupt my day-to-day life, however I cannot let my hands hang by my sides for too long, I cannot play bat-related sports, and I cannot stay out for too long in cold weather, because all of these things cause my fingers to swell up due to the lack of decent circulation. It is not really that bad, I just can't draw or anything like that, although I would really like to, since my 2 passions in life are anime and ponies. Oh well, can't have it all.
I could not tell anyone about my pony obsession, I have only been into ponies for about a year, if not a little longer. The reason I cannot tell anyone can easily be explained. Firstly, I don't get along with my parents in general, at all. My dad hates the fact that all I do with my free time is play games, all we ever do is argue with each other when we are in each other's presence. The funny thing about this is that that is not a fact at all. In actual fact, I do not play games often at all, I spend about 5% of my time doing that. Most of my time is spent either watching ponies, watching anime, or reading fan-fictions etc. I just could not bring myself to tell him that I am also into all of this, because he would realise that I am actually even more sad and cut-off than he initially thought, and I am afraid that he would disown me (this is probably me being paranoid and extreme, but I'm not willing to risk it).
My mum and step-dad have thrown me out of the house several times already, we do not see eye-to-eye at all. However, I don't think telling my mum and step-dad would be so bad, they would probably just mock me about it, I am much too shy and embarrassed about it to put up with that. I have a massive problem with being laughed at or silently judged by those around me, hence why I cannot go shopping for the things I really want in life. I have been into anime a lot longer than I have ponies, I have been into anime since I was 11, so 5+ years. I still have yet to tell a soul outside of the internet about either. So therefore, if I cannot pluck up the courage to tell anyone about my anime addiction, I sure as hell am not telling them about ponies, as ponies can be even more easily misunderstood, and is a much more sensitive subject.
It is pure hell not being able to tell anyone, because I have always really wanted someone to talk to about the things I love, and to share my love of it with them. I hear guys having conversations about football, (or soccer, if you want to call it that) and I can't bare to listen to them, because of the strong sense of envy I feel. I wish I had people I could talk about things I like with, I couldn't give a damn about football. Football seems to be the only thing those surrounding me are interested in. Hell, I can't even find a girl who likes anime or ponies to talk to, and who would respect me more for sharing that interest. The main reason I can't is because not only could I never talk to a girl no matter how hard I tried, but I also go to an all-boys school, and therefore have not spoken to a girl my age even once since I was 10.
Problems, problems, problems. However, despite all this, life isn't too bad overall, because I am happy enough to just sit in my room alone all day every day talking to people like you over the internet. On the internet I am understood. On the internet, I am accepted for who I am.
I cannot make friends with the people around me because we share nothing in common at all, and I am a little different from everyone else in a fair few ways. For example, I am known by pretty much all 1000+ boys at my school (I am famous for all the wrong reasons) as "the stoner" because of the way I look. I won't go into details, but the pupils of my eyes are always dilated and my eyelids struggle to open fully. I also have probably the deepest voice in the country, which doesn't help at all either...
So, that's why I can't make friends. Don't be concerned about me though, I promise you, I am perfectly happy talking to people like you over the internet, and it is probably all I will do for the rest of my days.
My parents aren't concerned about my grades at all, because my grades are pretty much perfect, (not meaning to brag) for me, my schoolwork comes before everything.
Looking forward to conversing further in the future (but I would advise we take it to private message from now on),
Lots of Love from Lord Nito
6464418 Private message it is!
To be honest, I now felt awkward writing whole paraghraphs that aren't really related to the story6458864 I write a lot of Twicord/Discolight if you're looking for some to read! Lots . . .
* * * * * *
Anywho, Nito,
Lands above. Sorry for taking so long to read this! I am a horrible friend!
Just have to focus . . .
So, it was an interesting chapter. I didn't think the quality was as good as the previous chapter, but it's better than the first to be sure.
The flow of this one is probably what got me. It felt choppy and the thoughts did not flow quite into the actions as they should. The pancake thing for instance felt weird as did the shower bit. When I read Discord's reaction to seeing Twi, I was all . . . "What? Seriously? That's not even that big of a deal." But, I could have read that wrong.
I did like Discord's characterization. It's interesting to see how he rationalizes the situation and you do an excellent job of showing the twisted logic his world runs on. I thought Twi's was still a little stiff, but a better than last chapter. You are improving there!
Lots of little grammar errors this time around. Time for instance, is like quantity in narration and should be written out rather than with numbers. For example, "six-thirty" or "seven o'clock." I'm not sure about your bolding words. Generally in professional fiction we don't do that, but it might just be a stylistic preference. I personally use italics to add emphasis.
Some sentences simply did not make sense, so you might want to go back and read the chapter out-loud to catch those bad boys.
Sorry my comments are so vague.
Still an awesome story! Keep it up. ^^
6474505 Yay! You made it!
Finally getting some of the criticism I was looking for, I need to know what I'm doing wrong, but no one except you seems to tell me. Thank goodness you are picky.
Alright, I knew I was taking a risk writing like this, but it seems like I didn't mess it up half as badly as I thought I would. There are definitely some things to improve though as you say, I almost took things a bit far with trying to focus more on character interaction than actual happenings. I wanted to be as inventive as I could to keep it interesting, but this in turn has (in a sense) bitten me in the behind. However, I will obviously improve at writing things like this the more I do it, I just need the practice. It seems more proof-reading is in order than I thought, I must have missed a few things. Don't worry, I'll try my best to find them and make it flow a bit better.
I'm really trying my best with Twilight, I need to round her character off somehow. I'll have to do some more reading of my own to get a better idea of how to actually put her character across. I have watched the show enough times to know it, but I am having issues getting it down in my story... I'll get there eventually.
Thanks for giving me a much-needed critique, I really appreciate it.
Lots of Love from Lord Nito
Sooooo looking forward to more, this is hilariously entertaining! :D
6507247 Thank you very much! I shouldn't take much longer to get the next chapter done, I'm really busy with school so it is just taking a while, sorry about that.
6509269 Oh I can understand, since I'm so busy working all the time that it feels almost strange to have any time off. It's good to know we won't have to wait too much longer, though. :)
Next chapter please
*Sees the "Curse you, towel" line* Now, that reminds me of something from a certain abridged series...
7705671
Apologies for the wait; chapters should be returning soon.
8192942
Greetings! Apologies for my hiatus; chapters should be resuming soon, and I also plan on re-writing the first chapter as well as touching up the others. After all, these were written by me as a 16 year old boy in school; I'm now a 19 year old man doing a Philosophy degree with some more experience writin,g and a more reserved libido
*Sees the chapter title*
8958019
Kek