6321996 ok what I meant by its set like a play is that take this for example
Ms. HarshWhinny: "Well after an exhausting day like this I think I'm going to returned the spa, for more relaxation". Princess Cadence: "Very well Miss. HarshWhinny, we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your visit here".
"Well after an exhausting day like this I think I'm going to returned the spa, for more relaxation". said Ms HarshWhinny:
"Very well Miss HarshWhinny, we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your visit here" said Princess Cadence
It's very hard to explain but try to compare the two and see what you think I'm not the best when it comes to extending and helping with stories
Yes, this is a good start. However, there are the mistakes that need fixing. Which I wouldn't mind taking a swing at if you don't mind. If you make a thread within the group I sent you I could place the corrections in said thread.^^ But I don't think I'll be able to do it good now since it's like three twenty in the morning for me.^^
6324542 I know it's getting there don't worry I'm getting there it's just hard writing these stories but I'll get there and It's like I said your comments are welcome.
It's a good start to the story by you have set the story up like a play. Mite want to fix that up by other wise its a good start
6321982 I don't understand but I like the help
6321985 how old are you its just a qustion
6321988 21 years old I'm happy to answer
6321996 ok what I meant by its set like a play is that take this for example
Ms. HarshWhinny: "Well after an exhausting day like this I think I'm going to returned the spa, for more relaxation".
Princess Cadence: "Very well Miss. HarshWhinny, we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your visit here".
"Well after an exhausting day like this I think I'm going to returned the spa, for more relaxation". said Ms HarshWhinny:
"Very well Miss HarshWhinny, we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your visit here" said Princess Cadence
It's very hard to explain but try to compare the two and see what you think I'm not the best when it comes to extending and helping with stories
6322025 I see your point indeed thank you
It's a great start! Well done, hopefully you'll keep improving.
6322444 Why thank you
Yes, this is a good start. However, there are the mistakes that need fixing. Which I wouldn't mind taking a swing at if you don't mind. If you make a thread within the group I sent you I could place the corrections in said thread.^^ But I don't think I'll be able to do it good now since it's like three twenty in the morning for me.^^
6324542 I know it's getting there don't worry I'm getting there it's just hard writing these stories but I'll get there and It's like I said your comments are welcome.
Good so far, I enjoyed it. :)
huzza my first editing job and it got used
6328329 Of course you did a good job
Cap.
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A little thing. Periods, or commas need to be inside the quotation marks. But other than the missing punctuation it's not that bad.