You’ve heard this story before, haven’t you?
Just about every pony in Equestria has. The first ever National Dash Parade Day, 104 years ago. The day that The Dash, one of our greatest national heroes, broke into the Cloudsdale Weather Factory, and almost met her end at the hands of a monstrous villain with a terrible plan to turn all of Equestria to glass. It's a story of bravery, of danger, of good and evil, and of a Princess' fight for freedom.
And of course, it's all true... isn't it?
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Written for EqD Writer Training Grounds Tanks for the Memories event. Also, first fic on this site, so feel free to applaud me as the best debut writer ever and tell me how I have no faults.
Rated Teen for a little bit of blood. It's not a Saw movie, but can't be too safe.
Figures that a hundred years down the line, Dash's biggest fan is still a scootaloo colored filly.
So some excuse Rainbow Dash made up once to avoid getting punished for the weather factory disaster grew into a nation wide legend? I like it. A lot of details got lost along the way, right up to Dash's actual looks and name, which makes sense. A good part of the fun was to see some bits of the new world, like Pinkie's descendant still having that trademark energy, and the family ties between the apples and pies appear to have grown stronger if Appleseed calls Bubblegum Pie her grandmother. (Btw, Bubblegum Pie? Ew.
Only Pinkie's line could think that was a good idea.)
Do not take this the wrong way, but I'm shocked by your grammar.
Specifically because it's so good that I don't really have other comments on it that wouldn't be straight up nitpicking. Definitely not what I was expecting from a first story. Upon closer inspection, you said 'on this site' so I can only assume you've had tons of practice elsewhere, and it shows. Well done.
To veer off into criticism for a moment, Italics really are not meant to have more than a couple paragraphs in them. I get that it was meant to off set The Dash story from the rest of it, but I'd recommend using Horizontal Rule for that instead which is done by writing HR in between [] to create a line across the screen. I can't really show it without just making the line but basically it would look like this "[.HR.]" Without the quotation marks or periods.
As a final few notes:
Unless Porcina is some kind of mutant, she should have hooves.
Also, you could probably drop the gore tag if the only thing that happens is one inconsequential wound that is not described in any detail.
6300066 Note; I have seen bubblegum pie before. It's pretty much just condensed milk, flavouring and whipped cream, and it's apparently awful.
Cheers for your very kind words. I've changed the italic mass to a HR break and it's a lot more readable, so thanks for that. As for the gore tag, it was more a "better safe than sorry" thing, but I see what you mean. Glad you enjoyed it and stay awesome.
Twilight: (Holding celestia head in the water befor lifting up): Are you done fibbing?
Celestia: YOU'RE CRAZY! WE CAN'T EVEN DIE THAT WAY!!
Twilight: no but it still extremely unpleasent (Dunk celestia head back into water.)