Once upon a time, there was two kingdoms; one was filled with all kinds of ponies unicorns,pegasi, earth and the ocassional alicorn.The other was the home of an incredibly magically powerful species called the draconequi. Both kingdoms were separated by a very large and dangerous forest, ponies rarely if ever entered and, because of this distance, ponies and draconequi hardly made contact often.In fact, ponies found draconequi to be either ugly or terrifing or both.
But one fateful,stormy night................
The "just-recently-crowned" lord Discord had bumped into an old mare asking for his help but lord Discord completely ignored her.Despite her aging bones hurting, the old unicorn was able to cast a revenge spell on the lord.The young creature returned to his castle to find his kingdom in ruins and his wonderful reality-vending powers gone, suddenly, he heard a voice behind him saying "If you learn to give love to somepony, it´ll be back" but the lord did not listen.He locked himself in his castle, away from anyone else.Like said before, ponies thought he was the "Monster King".And Who could ever love a monster?
It was a beautiful summer morning and three ponies and one baby dragon made their way to the edge of the forest.These ponies were Twilight Sparkle, her older brother Shining Armor and his fianceé Mia More Cadenza AKA Cadence; the dragon´s name was Spike, he had been found in the forest by Twilight when he was just a helpless egg and was adopted by her as a.............................Nobody knew what those two were, not even themselves thought they couldn´t be mother and son, as Twilight had just became nineteen recently.Nevertheless, they and Shining Armor were three peas in a pond, never to be separated..........................Until now.
"Take care of yourself now, Shiny" Cadence said as she pecked him on the lips.
"I will, don´t worry, Candy" Spike stuck out his toungue and Twilight mouthed an AW!.
As a royal guard,it was Shining Armor´s duty to hunt down every thread to the pony kingdom and, now, he was on his way to
battle in the Everfree Forest. "If you need help, just do the signal and I´ll go look for you, I promise" Twilight said to her sibling.
The unicorns both made a cross around their hearts and put a hoof over their left eye.After that, they exchanged a hug which the other two were quick to join in."Goodbye"
"Bye"
They waved their hoofs and claw at him until he was finally out of sight.Then, Twilight levitated a book out of her saddle bag and started reading from it.
"Ugh" The pink alicorn beside her groaned
"What?"
"What is it now?"
"Oh, it´s Draconequi History and Mytology" The unicorn said with a smile, as she showed the cover of the book to her future sister-in-law.
"Why would you want to know of a kingdom that nopony has been to in years?"
"Um, maybe because it´s my thing? Studying?"
"Someday, things are going to change"
"Sure" She said, in an obvious sarcastic and annoyed tone "Come on, Spike"
The young dragon sat down on the mare´s back as she walked, her nose stuck in her book, not caring about anything other than what was about to be studied and learned.Not knowing how much she was about to learn.
"There, all done" Shining smiled at his mision acomplished.Suddenly, he heard something behind him, a howl."TIMBERWOLVES!" He shouted, horrified and started running, he didn´t care where he was going, he just wanted to stay away from the wooden creatures following him.
He ran as fast as he could until finally he bumped into a huge castle, completely dark and black except for some red flags in the roof.He started knocking furiously with both his whooves.
"LET ME IN! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!" He shouted but received no response.
With his strenght, he ended up making a hole in one of the doors and got in throught it.The castle looked insane; every wall was a different color patern and, since it was so dark, he would always trip over stuff he could hardly recognize even after touching them.For some reason, Shining Armor felt like that place used to be full of life but not anymore, he casted a lamp spell and looked around to realice it was full of stairs everywhere and even some of them floating; he started climbing up one of them and ended up returning to the same spot.After a while, he found a red wooden door and decided to open it.Inside, he found the most odd looking thing:
It had serpent-like body full of brown fur; the head of a gray goat; the paw of a lion and the claw of an eagle; the blue wing of a bird and the purple wing of a bat; the back-leg of a light brown pony and of a green lizard; two mismatched horns and bright, terrifing yellow eyes with red pupils.It turned around and spoke in an even more terrifing male voice:
"WHAT are YOU doing in MY CASTLE?!"
"I-I-I´M SORRY, SIR! There´s timberwolves outside and I need your help! Can I at least stay here until next morning? Please? I BEG YOU!"
The creature groaned "FINE! You wanna stay?! BE MY GUEST!"
The creature lift him up and flew with his mismatched wings to another room, this one with more light in it but a lot less warm; in fact.....................It was so cold................so very cold.The room was a dungeon and, though he was terrified, Shining Armor did his best not to snap at the creature for fear that he would snap at him.He locked him out and flew away.Almost inmediately, Shining Armor casted a spell that projected a large pink star in the sky.
Best name ever XDD
6242459 really?? well, thank you very much.I never really thought it was THAT good
Made a quick read of your first chapter. I have a few suggestions.
First, an editor would help a lot. You have a story, but it's not much of a story. It's rushed and the grammar is all over the place and it could do with a whole lot of cleaning up.
Second, I don't know about the premise here. I mean, Discord ruling over his own kingdom? I could see a pretty strong story from a once-pony being turned into a draconequus because of how much chaos he loved wreaking over his subjects, and Twilight is introduced into his life and teaches him that chaos isn't the way to find happiness. Not sure that where you're taking this is the best way to tell the story.
Third, I freaking love your story picture.
6244432 Thanks for the suggestions.
To be honest, I thought of it but I was all like: Nah, I like Discord how he is.And yeah yours DOES sound like a very good idea but this is the one I want to write the most.I also needed to explain why can´t he just change his apperance like in the show and so I took away his powers leaving only flight.And to be honest, chaos is why we all Discord so much but Twilight WOULD help him to control it and not use it just for himself.I dunno, I don´t wanna change it, sorry.
Yeah, it´s freakin awesome.Lacedra is a real talented artist
6244319 of course there will be comedy is Discord but all due time
6244474
Oh, no, I wasn't suggesting you change it. I guess it's more reliant on how well it's written; an editor would be able to get your thoughts onto paper a lot better.
6244497 yeah, like I said, I´m southamerican so I don´t know crap about writing english so advice helps.thanks
Wow, that's pretty good. I like this story, and I really love Twicord and "Beauty and the Beast."