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Twilight Sparkle may be the smartest pony in all of Ponyville. She may be able to understand non-linear magical field gains but love eludes her. Can reason and the scientific method shed some light on this mysterious magic? Twilight is determined to try. Surely it is only a matter of applying a proper rigorous series of tests and analyzing the results. It couldn't be any simpler.
Image by lovetomorrowlove
It was really nice, the pacing was just A BIT fast, but still bearable. Grammar was Ok, the plot seems interesting enough.
Also after reading it i was left wondering if Twilight would do something too reckless in her pursuit of love, so even tho the cliffhanger wasnt too extreme it left me with the desire to know more, so you really made a good job.
keep up the good work.
>>32677 I am glad to hear you think so too!
>>32685 That is a big relief for me. I was worried it was too slow and people would get bored with Twilight's self-doubts. Good to hear the grammar was ok and the plot was interesting. As to Twilight doing something crazy; Twilight will be Twilight. That is all I will say.
>>32729 Thanks!
>>32740 First work at all.
>>32886 Hopefully I will have the next chapter done by Friday.
Tracking this one.
You've definitely nailed Twilight's character though. I can really imagine her trying to approach the problem like this. I can DEFINITELY imagine Twi sending a letter like that (through the normal post) and I can also see Celestia seeing straight through it (as she does here). 
>>33772 What are you talking about! 
That letter was a masterpiece of subtly! She was very careful not to leave any hoofprints or hairs on the letter. She faked her hoofwriting and even removed the letterhead. And like you said she sent it through the regular post. Perfectly untraceable. Twilight cannot think of any conceivable way even Celestia could work out who sent the letter. It is inconceivable!
OK, I've reread this again, and while I love it, have tracked it and will definitely be following this, there IS something that's been bugging me. I've noticed you're not using contractions (as in "it's", "I'm" etc.). It's really making the dialogue at some point seem forced. Twilight doesn't seem to use the expanded forms except in moments of extreme stressing-out. I realise she *is* stressing out somewhat in this fic, but I suspect she will become a lot more stressed out later. Something like this would be a good, subtle way of indicating the shift.
As an example:
“But it is faster! And I mean it all goes to the same place in the end! I am just improving the efficiency of the whole process.”
Might be better phrased as
"But it's faster! I mean, it all goes to the same place in the end, after all. I'm just improving the efficiency of the [whole] process."
Which IMHO is much more typical of Twilight's dialogue (and Spike's too).
As an aside, I don't mind using the expanded forms in the thoughts, especially the mysterious door knocker - actually, especially in this case as it seems to highlight how highly strung the poor pony is over the whole matter, (something I can relate to far too well).
It's just a suggestion, and it's really my only criticism of this so far - your characterisations are IMHO spot on. It's just something that's jumped out at me on re-reads.
>>38288 I totally agree. I am working on the fix as I write this. If you or any other pony have any more suggestions please tell me. Any and all suggestions are welcome. In the words of Discord, "Fire when ready." I am just about impossible to offend.
In other news the rumor that I redirect asteroids to ponies' houses that criticize my story is completely unfounded. We will all miss Sparkleshyguy85 who died from a completely unrelated asteroid impact.
This is simply amazing. I can't wait to read more!
Twilight's character is spot on! I can tell by your writing that you are very intelligent. You perfectly capture her nitpicking and dialect. Enough to get me physically hyper with enjoyment.
I'm definitely tracking!
OH SNAP! 
What a pickle!
How is Twilight going to handle this! On one hoof, she could give Fluttershy a chance, but on the other, she was so quick to dismiss her feelings for her as platonic love. I fear that both are going to get their hearts broken really quick but then again, Twilight has never really opened her heart yet. Oh man the possibilities!
DON'T YOU DARE HURT LITTLE FLUTTERSHY! 
Just kidding. Wherever this story goes, I know you will have the writing ability to keep it entertaining throughout.
Looking forward to reading more.
P.S. Rainbow Dash seems a bit out of character in this chapter. She isn't really one to judge emotions or even be that considerate if she does know. But its no big deal.
>>40863 The pickles are only going to get picklier. Is that the right expression? Anyway, it is only going to get worse. Twilight is the position where she is looking for something she really doesn't have a grasp of.
On the issue of Rainbow Dash I think you are right. I will be changing that scene. Thanks as always for the feedback. And get your next chapter up!
Nikola of Tesla,
Head of Applied Magic, Canterlot Institute of Technology
Well other than some gramtical errors(by the way i sugest just reading through to find and fix those) the story did not seem to drag on infact your "detailed discription of twilights emotions brought me in more,i actually have a growing consern for the character. If anything the other characters like fluttershy, dash applejack, rairaty seem twodimentional. That may be the fact that they didn't have that much time in the story. But all in all I liked it.
>>43200 I will work on the grammatical errors. I keep finding and fixing them, only to find more. I am glad you didn't think the opening too tedious. I am thinking of going back and expanding it to do better justice to Twilight's emotions. The first draft I had was about twice as long. As for the rest of the cast they will have plenty more time.
The contractions were something that i was going to sugest looking into but sparkleshyguy had allready pointed it out cuite clearly, and i'm quite sure that you trackers wouldn't want me to throw out names, but you did say that you wanted some feed back on who we think or want the secret admiroer to be I sugest caramel. It makes sence to me, why else would big mac cover for him if it's not applejack andthat is another ponu that appleblume knows.
Thats an odd shipping caramel and twilight sparkle? Could work, his character is undiveloped and he could be anything at this point.
First of all, there's really a lot of mini errors spread out here and there; I won't go into all of them, but there's quite a lot of them. Second, the way you write things like "I am" and "That is" is kinda odd; you should probably use "I'm" and "That's" and so on and so forth, as another comment already stated. It just makes it flow better.
The negatives aside, this is really interesting. TWilight's nerdness is really showing, and while that was quite odd, I can totally see her doing an "experiment" like that. The whole secret admirer part was fun to keep track of, and I wasn't sure who it was...until the end of this chapter. Thanks to you, Twilight x Fluttershy is now stuck in my head; you WILL pay for that! Please, do go on! 
>>48893 I am slightly confused. I fixed the contraction errors about 2 weeks ago when sparkshyguy85 pointed them out. And yet you are the second person to point them out again. I see that I fixed all the grammatical mistakes and contractions but evidently no one else can. I am going to feel really stupid if I didn't make the changes. I am going to try to unpublish and republish it perhaps that is why nothing changed. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. There now should be version numbers at the bottom of the pages.
>>55692, >>63048 I am working on it and should have the next chapter out in a couple of hours. Unless something happens which I am betting it will. Thanks for being patient I am working on it! 
>>61554 This looks like a job for SCIENCE!
>>58791. 1000 internet points. You are most generous!
>>63943. I don't know why everyone keeps thinking Twilight sent the letter to the Princess. It was clearly from an anonymous concerned citizen.
>>63957. 5 yays is high praise indeed! 
I will try to live up to Fluttershy's yay.
Um...I, uh...wow. 
That was...well, brilliant. But...I seriously have no idea what happened. That's what usually happens when I read stories that are bogged down with details. It happened when I read Lord Of The Flies, Thatcher In The Rye, and many more. I'm not stupid; I just find it so hard to read stories that constantly insist on dragging the reader through every millisecond of what's going on with the fanciest of words that could be found in the dictionary. So, I'll admit, I kinda just skimmed through this. I love the premise of Twilight trying to understand love and Fluttershy seemingly being the one who loves her, but...it just hurts my brain when I see too many details bogging down the story.
You see (and this is just MY opinion; feel free to totally disagree and ignore this), a good story should be right in the middle of the road with details. It shouldn't have too few, since that wouldn't make it a good story at all...but it shouldn't have too many, since it just gets the reader bored and makes them skim, skip, or just stop reading altogether. Others might disagree with my philosophy, but I'm just giving my two bits on the matter. Your story was very good, VERY descriptive, and I didn't find any errors. But...I also don't really know what just happened. I'll try to sum it up as best as I can to explain what I THINK happened:
Twilight had to lay down after studying love too much. Her heart or body or flank or whatever is apparently throbbing rather loudly. She then used the bathroom and got a drink. Then, for some reason, she thinks about Spike and how he acted weird during Fluttershy's tests. Then, for some reason, she thinks about Rarity.
So...that's basically what I read. None of this is really meant to be insulting or anything. You did a great job and you should be proud. I really hope your real life issues get themselves worked out; no one deserves stuff like that. You really do have a gift for writing, even if it's not technically my preferred style, and I do enjoy love stories with Twilight and I am looking forward to see how this ends up. Good luck with the next installment, whenever it should come.
My reaction when I saw a new chapter:
Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes Yes!
Ummm.
She clearly has feelings for somepony, but her poor brain doesn't "get" it. Don't forget also, the fog of sleeping pills is taking hold going through this, so her thought process is scattered (well executed by the way).
She climbed out of the battle strewn wasteland that was her bed and tended to the needs of the victors.
I *really* like this line. In fact, I really like a lot of the descriptions in the chapter. I think the "dialogue (as most of it is internal dialogue and not actual dialogue here, though I can imagine her speaking parts of this to herself)" still needs a bit of polishing, but your descriptive language is *excellent*.
I'll give more feedback in the morning (it's 11PM here and I'm zonked).
Don't worry about the chapter being short. It showed you are still working at completion and the word play was quite nice. The only downside is that this chapter really NEEDS someone to read the previous one in order for it to make any kind of sense, and with the multi-week delay, it isn't obvious when you first look at it.
Good luck and keep writing.
>>64671 Thanks for the detailed comment. This is exactly what I need. I am the one who wrote the story so I have trouble telling if it is confusing or nonsensical. Just to be clear how are the previous chapters holding up? Upon rereading I can see that this one is a bit confusing. And I agree that too much detail kills a story. This chapter obviously shades into too much detail. How are the others?
What I was attempting to do was convey Twilight's increasingly mental distress over this entire ordeal. She isn't thinking the clearest and is suffering from sleep deprivation. The sleeping pills only are making the problem worse. I was also trying to subtly set up several important points that will come up later. Physically nothing really happens. She has trouble getting to sleep, takes some sleeping pills and falls asleep. What is important is the why. Unfortunately I appear to have been too subtle for my own good. I know, because I wrote it, every little bit. Conveying that is what I need to fix.
The next installment needs to be held up until I can get this chapter worked out. Thank you again for giving me an honest answer.
>>64789. I think I see a pattern emerging. I wrote the majority of this chapter while "zonked" at 2 in the morning about a character who is "zonked." Sleep deprivation seems to be key to understanding this chapter. Anyway, I am glad you liked it. The dialog does need some work and I think my descriptions are nice but I may need less of them. Thanks again, I guess I won't crush you with an asteroid after all.
>>64795. I think the long break could be a major problem and it was something I didn't even consider. Upon rereading I see you are absolutely correct. You have to be familiar with the events of the previous chapters for this one to have even a hope of making sense.
>>64964. Thank you again for the internet points. I am not just looking for spelling and grammar corrections I am looking for general plot flow and basically anything.
>>65188 I think your problem may be that you are attempting to digest the words when you really need to read them.
Eating your computer can lead to all manner of health problems. 
Jokes aside, I guess now I cannot write Tailslover13 >>64671 off as a deranged lunatic. He may in fact have a reasonable complaint. 
Great. 
As always thanks for the feedback, I will try to keep the fog in Twilight's head.
>>65194. That is a fairly accurate summary of what happened. The key as I have said is why all of that happened. I will be rewriting it to make it clearer.
>>66451 Well, since you asked so nicely, I'll give you my thoughts on each of your chapters thus far:
Chapter 1: Initial Observations - This chapter started off somewhat lagging and slow, in my eyes. Sure, we constantly hear people whining about how things are "rushed", but then again there's such a thing as being "too draggy", too. I honestly got kinda bored very quickly, since all it seemed to be doing was constantly having Twilight go inwardly insane with how she didn't have anypony to love and how horrible it apparently was. The scene where she scares Spike was kinda funny, but I honestly had to reread just THAT section again to fully understand what exactly it was she did to freak him out, since I didn't really understand how she broke her cup. It began to get interesting when Twilight sent the "concerned citizen" letter to Celestia. Not a bad ending, too; left it on a funny question that made you want to read more and find out what Twilight was gonna do. As a whole, it was a fairly good lead-in chapter, and to be honest, I don't really know what I'd change in it. It was pretty good.
Chapter 2: Data Collection - I loved this chapter. It honestly had kinda a mystery feel to it, since I was wondering just who in the world Twilight's secret admirer was that entire time. Every scene with him/her made me excited and think about just who it could be. I still don't really understand just HOW Twilight's experiments worked (so...she hooked up some cords to her test subjects and thus could read how their body reacted on some machine? Uh...yeah, don't really get it), but the fact was that they were interesting, humorously detailed and explained, and I enjoyed them. Applejack with Rainbow Dash was hilariously cute, and Spike "helping" made me snicker. Only near the beginning, when Twilight broke out a wall of text to explain how "love" worked was slightly annoying. Besides that, everything else flowed perfectly and I kept myself engaged the whole time. Plus, a GREAT cliffhanger-like ending that made me want more! Just WHO is that secret admirer? I'm glad it wasn't Big Mac...ugh, let's not go there. It was clever the way you ALMOST made it him, though.
Chapter 3: Extrapolation - Kinda a mixed bag on this chapter. Just a warning: walls of text tend to bore and annoy a reader. If something is being stretched out and become somewhat too large, it might be best to split it into two paragraphs; nothing wrong with doing that. There were parts that were slightly boring (too many details), but you mixed in equal parts of humorous scenes that kept me going along; a very clever move. The part with Big Mac made me sad; I don't like him, but it made me feel bad for Twilight. The part with Fluttershy made me fully engaged and interested, since it seemed to be garnering more "love" attention than the other parts and thus made me think about just what she might be thinking. The ending was awesome, since it basically finally said who Twilight's secret admirer was (I think), and how Twilight was basically "too intelligent" to see it (the name of your story...ironic). Overall, a really touching, cute, and interesting chapter.
Chapter 4: Interpolation - When I glance back at the other three chapters and then when I look at this one, it makes me think this one is a "filler" chapter. You know, like a filler episode we see in famous series nowadays? Basically, the first three chapters had moments of "excessive detailing", but overall they were still humble and enjoyable enough that they were still works of art and were really awesome. However, this one...just seemed like a filler. WAY too many details, not enough dialogue (dialogue REALLY helps, trust me; if you don't have it, it starts looking like walls of text or too many boring detailing sentences). Fillers aren't a BAD thing; they're there to help the reader/viewer understand the character(s) more when they're not involved in the main plot of the story. But...to this very moment, I STILL don't really know what this chapter was about. Yes, I read your explanation, but...sleeping pills? Fog? Rarity? Spike? Sleep deprivation? UGH!
As a whole, I really do like your little series here. I do find it SLIGHTLY hard to believe that Twilight would seriously act THAT "intelligent", since even on the show she isn't THAT smart; she does show signs of naivety and foolishness at times, and she doesn't exactly use her "lab" that much. The only time we see it was in "Feeling Pinkie Keen"...at least I THINK that's the only time we see it. So, while love indeed is a very complicated matter, it still seems slightly excessive to make Twilight go through all this just to understand it. Don't get me wrong; I love the concept, and if Fluttershy is the one who loves her, I'll be interested in seeing how the Pegasus keeps trying to make Twilight see it and how Twilight keeps trying to figure love itself out. If you need anything, let me know. Oh, and GET SOME SLEEP!
Your observation of your state when writing this is entirely true of the reader as well. When I have 25 things stacked up on my tracking list, and I just want to mow through them, I get annoyed by stories wher not much happens, but I'm in a laid-back mood today, and really anjoyed the mood-setting going on here, especially since it's a relatively short chapter. It reminds me of the scene in "Ghost in the Shell" where the protagonist is just walking around town and seeing the sights. Very little of note happens, but it's a nice change of pace before you get back to the action. Done in moderation, it can be a wonderful effect. Same goes for the vocabulary lesson. I really didn't see too many 50-cent words in there, but I understand that the younger readers may get annoyed with having to keep m-w.com open next to the story. Still, if the seriousness of the story or the personality of the character calls for it, it can be a nice touch.
I know you enjoyed one of my stories (have you read My Funny Sister, too?), and they're all self-edited, so you can get a sense of where I am as a writer and editor from those. I'm only pre-reading for one other person right now, and I don't think he's going to write more than the one story. You fit the profile I look for (quality's already there, so I'm not having to rewrite everything; new material isn't coming out so fast that it takes up all my time), and frankly I want to read your stuff anyway, so I can edit for you if you like. I'm an absolute stickler for spelling/grammar, and pretty good at content, style, and brainstorming help. LMK.
>>67008 I was just wondering where I recognized your name from. Pascoite, Pascoite... it sounds familiar then you said you wrote "My Funny Sister" and I remembered. You wrote the infamous "The Promises We Keep." I REALLY enjoyed that one by the way, as much as I could given the circumstances. One of the very few I have Favorited. I would love for you to edit for me.
>>66558 Thanks again for the honest feedback. What I am mainly drawing out is the text blocks need to be broken down. Something else I really didn't consider before this. Chapter four is being reworked and I will republish it soon.
As for Twilight's intelligence as I see it she is driven by a need to understand the world. When she doesn't know something she has to find out. If that means reading a book about sleepovers or stalking Pinkie Pie then that is what she will do. The problem is there are no books that can help her so she has to do her own research. Twilight is hugely obsessive and is utterly unwilling to let love take its course. Which is the set up for the whole story. The science will start trending downward and romance part of the story will pick up fast soon.
And I think the reason we don't see her lab more often is because while gene-sequencers and spectroscopes are interesting to one audience for the target audience not so much.
Thanks again for the feedback, keep letting me know what you think.
As for sleep, that sounds like a great idea...
>>68724 Fair enough; that seems like a good idea. I realized that a while ago, so in my own writing I try hard to not make text walls or blocks that much; if they get too big, I find a clever way to break them up. Good luck with your republishing!
Hmm...can't really argue with that. I've witnessed all that, too, naturally. Then again, Twilight DID eventually just snap and willingly go along with Pinkie's Pinkie Sense in the end, so...eventually, she's probably just gonna have to give up or she'll go nuts, since love is just not something you can study and logically understand.
That's probably another good point. It's like saying how one audience would love to see romance incorporated with the show, but the stupid "Target Audience" most likely wouldn't want that.
Don't worry, I plan on it. *takes a look at the character listings* Wait...TRIXIE? Why didn't I notice her before? So, she's gonna be in it? Okay, if that's the case, you REALLY got me excited; I love her!
I never did get around to reading this before. It's pretty good.
This chapter made perfect sense to me actually. Then again, I'm a Ninth Level Master of Insomnia-Fu. I know the precise sort of haze that comes with that level of exhaustion, and I've even had hallucinations along the line of my body demanding things from me that I don't want to give it because I want to sleep after I've hit the 45 hour mark.
A shame I didn't read this yesterday though, or I actually 'could' have caught it around Hour 36 of me being awake. I was actually pretty lucid then though, so for all I know it just would have made me feel exhausted.
>>68866. Trixie? She would cause all manner of problems. Hopefully she won't show up.
>>75041 It would be interesting to read anything while being in such a state. I am curious now how classic literature would turn out verses other forms of literature. This looks like a job for SCIENCE!
>>75794 The reason is I forgot a close italics tag. To answer the extension of your question, no I did not mean for most of the chapter to be in italics. But that is why it was.
>>76807 The only thing as cool as Rainbow Dash is the Pan-Equestria Muzzle Blaster. Enjoy responsibly.
And it looks like somepony has hit me with a rating bomb. I appear to have acquired 50 or so 1 star ratings.
>>77145 Well, Trixie is in your character listing, so I'm assuming that means she's GONNA show up...but, never mind. And, yeah, I figured that that'd be the reason why everything was in italics. And how in the world did that happen with your ratings? Totally unfair.
>>77145 Is there a way to see the actual distribution of ratings? I see comments like this at EqD as well, and always wonder if people have found a way to see this, or are just inferring it from recent changes in ratings. In any case, I've got about 4 different places I log in from, and it lets me vote from each, so I can give you a little help there.
The only thing that's starting to irritate me a bit is that I'm on the mailing list for this story and I get an email every time he makes any sort of edit. I'm tired of getting like 6 emails in between edits...
But I don't want to take myself off of the mailing list. Durned story!
>>77638 I considered a lot of names because there are so many great scientists and engineers. I really liked the name periodic of table but that has been used before.
>>77959 I don't understand. Is this a play or words or is there a mistake in the story?
>>78959 I cannot see the distrabution of ratings and I am only inferring what happened. The facts as I have it are: Fact 1. I started with around 70 ratings and a 4.8 star average. Fact 2. In 12 hours the number of ratings skyrocketed to 120 and my average fell to 3.4. Fact 3. Other stories were hit by similar rating bombs.
I contacted Knighty about it but he has not got back to me. In the mean time the only solution is to get more ratings. And thanks for your help!
>>79046 They say write what you know. I will leave it at that.
>>79494 Edits should be done for now. Next is a new chapter, the long awaited chapter 5: invitation!
>>79609 What did I do there? 
If it is clever I will take credit for it.
Yes, THERE we go! MUCH better! Now, as always, I'm not gonna question another author's style of writing. But...combining Twilight's "unusual night" with the conversation between Fluttershy and Big Macintosh was perfect! It gave us two different scenes to learn from; one with not a lot of action, but still with some interesting points...and one with a lot of "action" and it was a rather humorous and enjoyable read. I really loved the changes you made to this. The only thing I'm slightly confused on is the ending of this chapter. What exactly happened? Macintosh put Fluttershy to bed when the Pegasus fell asleep, so he decided to be nice and tend to her animals for her, right? But...what was with the photograph and his own mini monologue? Was it basically saying that he had a picture of a mare that HE liked inside of his saddlebags, but he never told her he loved her? That's what I'm guessing. Well, whatever; it's not really important. Overall, I loved the changes; helps move the story along more and it just FEELS more natural, since the reader is learning more about other characters rather than Twilight's weird nighttime habits. Great editing! 
What exactly does this line mean: This smacked of her last letter? It very well could not be an error, but...it made no sense to me. Just pointing out one minor thing. Oh, and what about this one: She had met the Princess plenty of times but was always anxious alone around her.? That "anxious alone" just sounds weird. Wouldn't it better said as: "She had met the Princess plenty of times, but always got anxious when she was alone with her" or something like that? Oh, and...sorry, yet another line that was weird: ”You have answered exactly this a thousand times." Wouldn't saying, "You have answered this exact question a thousand times" or something work a bit smoother?
The chapter itself was both funny, insightful, and once again slightly confusing. I loved Luna and how she talked; she's such a cutie. Celestia (in my eyes) looked like she was being a troll again, which is nothing new. Seeing into Spitfire's mind was...kinda shocking...but, very intriguing; always did wonder what that pretty Wonderbolt thought and HOW she thought. Kinda reminds a person of Dash. But, I'm kinda confused at what was actually going on near the end. I don't know WHO was speaking those final lines (I'm guessing Spike and Twilight)...why was Spitfire getting something from Big Macintosh...WHO hired DJ PON-3? I suppose this will all be explained in a future chapter, so you don't have to explain. My guess is that Trollestia is orchestrating all this, as always.
As a whole, the chapter was great! Despite no Twilight and Fluttershy action, it was cool seeing Spitfire, Trollestia, Luna, and...well, just them. Great job; I've been anxious to see what you would come up with next, my intelligent friend. Hope life has been treating you well. Oh, and an early Merry Christmas to you...or, in Equestrian terms, Happy Hearth's Warming...or, as a few bronies say, Merry Celestmas!
>>81111 I think it is high time I stick a comedy tag on this story. When I started I was brushing the line but now it needs one.
>>81126 I love Luna's character.
>>81158 With 80 barrels of Mac's finest you know something is bound to happen.
>>81173 All the pieces are in place. Now all that is left is to see what happens...
>>81174 I agree with your suggestions. The letter she is referring to is Twilight's concerned citizen letter.
I wouldn't exactly call Celestia a troll. That implies malice, which is not her goal. Scheming? Conniving? Manipulative? Devious? Absolutely. But in the end her motives are pure. I don't know many ponies who would have gone to Twilight's original party. I would have, but that's her point.
The last lines were indeed spoken by Twilight and Spike. Spitfire was asked by Celestia to deliver the pouch of bits to Big Mac. As for DJ Pon3 all we know is that it was a pony with the money and connections to hire an exclusive DJ on short notice. And one with the pull to get the Canterlot Health Advisory to fumigate their building. A pony who is not afraid to use devious, tricky tactics.
Happy Hearth Warming (Merry Christmas)
>>81189 Just Celestia this time. She wants the party to be a hit. And is going to ensure it is all the while keeping her hooves out of it. Certainly she is not Molestia and I would argue she is not trollestia despite using conniving tactics.
Great Chapter, I enjoyed Celestia and Luna in this one, Celestia sounds and acts kinda like I expect she would in this situation so A+ for character portrayal .
I look forward to the next chapter, I feel a certain Doctor will make an appearance in the following chapters or a certain party pony that enjoys fine wine 
>>81265 Okay, cool; that cleared a few things up for me. It's somewhat easy to see now that I look back at it...but, your words always help. Thanks for that. So THAT'S what Celestia was doing. She was basically HELPING Twilight get party guests by basically tricking them there? That...that is...huh. I seriously do not know! It's both touching and evil at the same time!
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