Welcome to my page. If you wanna send fan art my way then send it via private message on here, thank you for following here and my Youtube channel. And I'll see you all in the next story or video.
Just as a fyi, this story is right after season 5 episode 1-2. So in short, the princesses go to Earth to find a hero, all they saw was zombies and dead things, nothing alive until he saves their lives.
He goes to Equestria to battle King Sombra and the army of the dead. And maybe even find love, find out here!
If you like this story please check out some of my other stories.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great job, the story seems promising but from my point of view :
~ the story is going a little bit to fast (hello/you are the chosen one anakin/come with us/ok)
~ the human isn't surprised by the sight of talking ponies (not very natural)
~ you shouldn't name your main character like that, personaly I prefer the name "Anon" which is used by writers who want to let the readers a chance to identify themselves as the hero (we can do it with "Leon" but it's harder)
~ there wasn't a real introduction in the story (the story begins almost immediatly in the human world, we don't really have an explanation of why they are looking for a human)
All the remarks I made are purely from my point of view, don't take them as a bad review.
6760408 You do make some really good points, though this first chapter was to get the character to Equestria, I do see how I rushed it. Also I do appreciate the constructive criticism.
Now on the point of your second crit, he does live in a world where the dead have come back, this really wouldn't phase him. Another point I will make is when the next chapter comes out. I will try to slow it down, thank you and please have a nice day.
He would have still killed himself even if you ejected the magazine out of a pistol you still have one round in the chamber.
6761263 Okay you got me there, I don't know much about guns, though this is useful info for future stories.
Thank you for your impute and have a good day or night.
Is this based off of another story?
6761476 No it is not, if it is though I am sorry, but I don't think it is.
Okay 25 is honestly a bit much, how about 15? Can we do that, please tell me you all can.
7003369 you mean on likes
7131169 yes I do, sorry about that I should of wrote that, my bad.
7131918 its fine I actually really like the story so far hope the story doesn't get to many dislikes and it never gets to have a full on series for I hope to read all of them when they hopefully happen
7134953 Thank you, I hope to make some more of these, this was my first story so I really want to make a sequel, I just wanna know enough people like it. I don't mean to sound like I need attention all the time, but I just need to set goals, and to give myself time to write other stories.
7135097 its cool but know that if you don't get your goal know that from all the stories I have read you are in the top 10 my number one is man of war read the story sometime its a good story plus it might help u think of more content to write about here is the link https://www.fimfiction.net/story/14411/man-of-war
7137400 Thanks, I'll get to reading that soon.
7137847 your welcome
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