Ponies Not Yaks
"Wow~! T-too strong~! Okay, okay, okay~!"
Twilight Sparkle watched in silence as Prince Rutherford gave Pinkie Pie a big bearhug. Although this was a joyous occasion for Equestria and Yakyakistan, dark thoughts plagued her mind and heart.
I owe Pinkie big time, she thought. Had it not been for her, we would be at war right now. She sighed inwardly. And it would've been my fault. It's times like this when I wonder if I really am worthy of my crown.
She looked over at Princess Celestia, who was watching the same scene. Celestia looked over at Twilight and gave her a wide smile. On the surface, nothing seemed to be bothering her. If anything, she was proud of her young protégé. But Twilight knew better. She saw her mentor's face when Prince Rutherford rescinded his declaration of war. She knew she had some major explaining to do.
And here I thought I was beyond such things once I became a princess, Twilight thought. Old habits die hard, I guess.
She kept these worries to herself as the yaks continued to enjoy the festivities. There was a time and place to voice such opinions, and this wasn't it. She simply forced a smile and tried to enjoy the party to the best of her ability.
***
As the festivities continued well into the night, Twilight found it harder and harder to hide her feelings. She still managed to have a great time, as it was nearly impossible to be upset during one of Pinkie Pie's parties. But in the back of her mind, her nagging doubts ate away at her resolve. As she fretted over what could've been, she felt a gentle hoof touch her shoulder.
"Is everything okay, Twilight?"
Twilight turned her head to see Celestia hovering over her. She still wore her gentle, serene smile that only served to make Twilight feel worse. Twilight placed a hoof to her chest, took a deep breath, and let it out in a long sigh.
"Princess Celestia, I need to talk to you and Prince Rutherford in private," she said softly. "It's important."
"Of course, of course," said Celestia with a nod. "I was just talking to Prince Rutherford myself. He actually had some interesting things to say about his visit."
Twilight gulped. Oh, horse apples. She already knows. She then cleared her throat. "A-all the more reason I want to discuss this with you."
"I understand," said Celestia sagely. "Come, this way."
She then walked over to Prince Rutherford, who was laughing at one of Pinkie Pie's funny stories. When he had collected himself, he noticed Princess Celestia and tilted his head.
"Sun princess? Why you here when sun not here?" he asked.
Celestia giggled. "It shouldn't be that surprising, Prince Rutherford. I'm allowed to enjoy my sister's night just as she's allowed to enjoy my day. Anyway, could we trouble you for a moment of your time? Princess Twilight here wishes to have a private conversation with us."
Rutherford looked over at Twilight, his face nondescript. "This no take long?"
"It shouldn't," said Celestia.
"But it's really important," Twilight added.
Rutherford pursed his lips and stroked his chin. "If pony friends need to speak, yaks will listen," said he. "That what friends do."
"Just the three of us, actually," said Twilight, taking note of Rutherford's bodyguards.
Rutherford paused for a moment, looking over at Celestia. Celestia gave him a solemn nod, which he returned in kind.
"Me understand," he said, turning to his companions. "Guards, leave us."
The two yaks bowed and obeyed, heading off to mingle with the other ponies. Celestia then led Rutherford and Twilight over to a secluded corner of the plaza, far away from the action.
"Okay, Twilight. We're alone," said Celestia, dipping her voice so that no one else could overhear. "What did you want to speak with us about?"
Twilight placed a hoof to her chest, took in a deep breath, and let it out in a sigh. Here goes nothing.
"Celestia, I'm so, so sorry about what happened," she said, bowing her head in shame.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Sorry? Twilight, what in Equestria do you have to be sorry for? You and your friends did a great job."
"No, we didn't," said Twilight, shaking her head. "It was a colossal failure until Pinkie saved us at the last minute. No matter what we did, it only served to make the yaks mad. They almost declared war on us, Celestia. I-I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if that happened."
"But it not happen," said Rutherford, sounding a bit confused. "Why purple princess afraid of war? Yaks no go to war with ponies. Yaks and ponies friends for a thousand moons."
"I-I know, I know," said Twilight, biting her lip and averting her gaze. "And I'm very grateful that we're friends, Prince Rutherford. It's just that, well, I should've known better. As a princess, it's my responsibility to make sure foreign diplomats like you feel welcome in our home. I tried to do that, but all I did was insult you and your culture. That shouldn't have happened."
Celestia gave Twilight a wry smile. "No wonder you looked so nervous. Some things never change, do they, my faithful student?"
Twilight looked up and blinked. "Wait, you're not mad at me?"
Celestia shrugged. "I don't see any reason to be mad at you."
"B-but I almost started a war," Twilight whimpered. "If it wasn't for Pinkie, things would've been—"
Celestia raised her hoof and shook her head, cutting across Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle, listen to me. You shouldn't be kicking yourself like this. In all honesty, I don't think you really did anything wrong."
Rutherford perked up, his fur shifting back to reveal his widened eyes. "Sun princess think purple princess not do wrong? Why you say that? She say she give us yak food, and it turn out to be fake pony food!"
"Oh? And is there something wrong with pony food?" Celestia asked coyly.
Rutherford flinched and snorted. "N-no. Pony food good. Very tasty, actually. Just not when it pretend to be yak food."
"See, that's why I'm apologizing, Prince Rutherford," said Twilight. "This whole mess could've been avoided had I actually respected your cultural values."
"Twilight, nopony can blame you for trying," said Celestia. "You didn't blame Pinkie Pie for trying when she failed to bring something back from Yakyakistan, did you?"
"Well, no," Twilight admitted. "If anything, I appreciate how much effort she puts into all her parties."
"Well, the same applies to your diplomatic efforts," said Celestia. "Sure, you may have insulted the yaks by trying to replicate their culture and failing, but that clearly wasn't your intention." She then turned to Rutherford and arched an eyebrow. "If only others could appreciate that the way you appreciate Pinkie Pie."
Rutherford swallowed. "Why you look at me like that, sun princess?"
"Don't pretend that you don't know, Prince Rutherford. You're not stupid," Celestia scolded. "Twilight and her friends were bending over backwards trying to appease you, but all you did was get mad because things weren't 'perfect.' As if anything in this world is perfect."
"But ponies try to trick yaks by making fake yak things," said Rutherford defensively. "Yaks get mad when things fake."
"Then why didn't you just say that to begin with?" inquired Celestia. "It would've saved Twilight and her friends a lot of trouble."
Rutherford blinked in confusion. "Yaks thought ponies understood that. Why else would ponies keep trying to make yak things?"
"Because we thought that's what you wanted," said Twilight.
Rutherford shook his head. "No, purple princess. Yaks no want fake things. Yaks want real things."
"Again, you could've just said that from the start instead of simply declaring war," said Celestia firmly. "Prince Rutherford, we don't blame you for being insulted by our attempts to replicate your culture. We understand now that you value authenticity over all else. By the same token, however, you're supposed to represent Yakyakistan. Equestria may have the responsibility of being your host, but you have the responsibility of being our guest. Ponies do not appreciate it when their hard work is demolished just because it doesn't meet your high standards."
"Then why ponies no get mad at yaks?" asked Rutherford. "Why ponies no declare war on yaks first?"
"Because just like you value authenticity, ponies value friendship," Celestia answered. "Twilight here was just trying to be a good host. It's not her fault that her attempts to befriend you ended up being offensive. And really, it's not your fault for being offended, either. Nevertheless, you must admit that you overreacted."
Rutherford's eyes darted around every which way as he drew in a sharp breath through his teeth. Finally, he let out a great sigh. "Yaks no have other friends for many moons. This first time yaks make long journey to place outside Yakyakistan. Yaks no understand these things like ponies do."
"All the more reason why we extended the olive branch to you," said Celestia. "Isn't that right, Twilight?"
Twilight snapped out of her self-imposed trance and shook herself. "Um, yeah! Th-that's right. Heh heh..."
She then sighed. "Prince Rutherford, I know everything turned out alright in the end, but I still want to apologize for insulting you."
"It okay. Not your fault," said Rutherford, bowing his head. "And me apologize for being bad guest in pony's home. Yaks see now that ponies work really hard to befriend yaks. Yaks just too blind to realize that at first."
"We all make mistakes, Prince Rutherford," said Celestia. "The important thing is that we learn from them and become better creatures."
"Sun princess speaks much wisdom," Rutherford concurred. He then smiled at Twilight. "Me glad we had this conversation, purple princess."
"So am I," said Twilight, breathing a sigh of relief. "I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay, Prince Rutherford."
"Me looking forward to it," said Rutherford jovially. "Ponies great friends."
With that, he gave Twilight a huge hug before bowing to Celestia and returning to the party. After Twilight shook herself and recovered from the ordeal, she turned to Celestia.
"I thought for sure you were going to chastise me for screwing things up," she said.
Celestia chuckled. "Twilight, you must understand. Diplomacy is a very difficult game with a plethora of pitfalls, especially when it comes to other species and cultures. This is the first time you and Prince Rutherford had to engage in such matters; of course you were both bound to make mistakes. The important thing is not that you made them or what could've been, but rather that you learn from the experience and do better next time."
Twilight let out a short laugh of her own. "I guess you're right," she said, giving Celestia a genuine smile. "Thank you for being so understanding, Celestia."
"Of course, Twilight," said Celestia sweetly, nuzzling Twilight with her muzzle. "Come on now. It appears we still have a lot of party to get through, and it's high time you enjoyed it properly."
Twilight nodded and rejoined the festivities. As she let out a content sigh, she felt a great weight tumble from her shoulders.
I may be a princess now, but it appears I still have a lot to learn, she mused.
What's this? A story showing the yaks in a positive light? Inconceivable! 
Seriously, though. I think a lot of people misunderstood the yaks' motivation for throwing tantrums left and right in the episode. Not that I really blame them; it took me a while to get it, too. And I wanted to share that epiphany through this mini-epilogue here.
Special shout-out to user MLai for helping me figure out why I like the yaks when everyone else seems to hate them.
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I agree with this viewpoint. In real life, yaks are actually quite docile and friendly.
I was honestly thinking the exact same thing for why the yaks behaved the way they did. I was considering doing something of my own but you've done it much better than I think I could have. Nicely done!
6149190 The funny thing is that I think that's what the writers were going for in the first place. My best guess is that people were so fixated on the yaks' over-the-top behavior that they decried it as inexcusable, never taking a moment to ask why they acted the way they did.
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Quesadillas really?
6149295 How are Twilight's bizarre phobias relevant to the story at hand?
6149542 Yeah, the time constraints really bit the episode in the butt. We seriously needed to see more of Pinkie's epic journey in order for the message of the episode to resonate properly, but they just couldn't fit that into the pre-established timeframe. Quite a shame, really.
That aside, I am glad you enjoyed this little story.
6149736 In the trade, we call that "making a joke." Of course I know portraying the yaks of Yakyakistan in a positive light is conceivable. I freaking conceived it.
6149825 I know, I was just attempting to create a little humor myself...apparently I wasn't too successful.
6149850 Ah. Sorry about that, mate. It's often hard to gauge that kinda thing on the internet.
6150037 Oh, I'm not saying the message didn't get through at all; it did. I'm saying that when Pinkie came to her realization at the end, I felt like it came out of nowhere because we didn't get to see her epic journey. She instead told us about it, which any writer can tell you is not nearly as effective. Even so, there really wasn't a way for them to fit that into the twenty-two minute time limit. Even if we cut all the superfluous jokes (such as AJ's remark about Granny's dentures or Pinkie eating sand), that still wouldn't have been enough time to show Pinkie's quest properly.
Regardless, I still felt the episode was a lot of fun. And in all honesty, I thought the yaks were one of the stronger parts of the episode, hence why I wrote this story showcasing why.
I like your portrayal of the Yaks being angry because they were told they were getting Yak things, but they were actually pony things.
While at the same time getting the whole "that's not what they intended and you know it, you blockhead"
Pretty much can't say much more about it. Good story Met.
Wow, that...was a different way of looking at it, and a viewpoint I can appreciate. Nicely done!
Wait people were confused about the motivations of the Yaks? Hmm... weird. I thought it was straight forward. Good take on the story to help people get it then.
This is a sweet ending I enjoy. The episode soooo could have been like this!
6150186 In all honesty I thouggt that Vandalism and getting mad wasn't doing this any episode any jiustice. Wghich is why I was ticked when another new species non pony was portrayed as titanic douchebags. I might understand why but uat the same ftime yaks were ungrateful. There is a saying in Greek. tThere is no greater enemy than the undgrateful friend.
If THIS had been in the episode ...
derpicdn.net/img/2013/2/16/245640/medium.gif
I agree that the yaks' motivations were sound. Seeing someone attempt and fail to duplicate your culture, especially when you pride yourself on authenticity, would justify being offended.
However, I have a hard time seeing how it justifies vandalizing three different buildings, attempting to crush innocent wildlife and a young dragon, or declaring war. Especially when the yaks never bother to explain themselves. They just shouted 'not perfect' and stormed around like angry children. In other words, yes, ponies were in the wrong for the approach they took, but the yaks were far more in the wrong for the way they reacted.
Thank you for doing this! Thank you so much! It may seem very weird, and trust me, it is, but I felt personal responsebul for the yaks bad behavior in the episode. they were so clearly modeled off Scandinavian vikings, and I felt it wa smy people that cated like pefectionist lunatics. This story make me feel less responsible.
Hmm. Had this been a part of the actual episode, I think it would've gone a long way towards making the yaks' (almost wrote yanks, lol) behaviour more palatable to some of the naysayers.
As others have pointed out, the yaks' over the top reaction can be perfectly understandable once you take into account their cultural isolation. However, from a writing perspective, the repetitive presentation of their violent reactions just got stale for some of us. This is more of a personal taste in comedy, but it's another reason why some might find it less than entertaining.
6151830 That's why I had Celestia scold Prince Rutherford for his actions in this story. I agree, the yaks really need to work on their diplomacy. In fact, Twilight was the better pony for continuing to put up with them despite their behavior. I've seen comments and stories saying that Twilight and/or Celestia should've just given up on befriending the yaks and destroy them instead, but as this story clearly shows, I don't agree with that notion.
6151852 I thought the yaks actually had more of a Mongolian influence, given their snowy home and attire. Still, I'm glad this story made you feel better.
6151890 Well, one key thing about comedy is that humor tends to be subjective. I myself wouldn't go so far as to call the yaks' tantrums comedy gold, but I'd be lying if said I didn't get one or two chuckles out of them. Especially Pinkie's reaction to them not liking the snow; she certainly didn't see that one coming.
6152040
1: Have you ever been in sweden? We got more than enough snow to qualify as 'snowy' most of the year
2: That attire, it'ss almsot exactly like Scandinavia viking clothes
anyhow, thank oyu
6152076 Alright, fair point. Although I wouldn't go so far as to call the yaks "vikings." They aren't pirates.
Considering the yaks behaviour, I find in completely laughable that Twilight should have to apologise about ANYTHING. These yaks just lost their temper at the drop of a hat, and didn't bother explaining what caused them to behave in such an irrational manner. Were Twilight or her friends supposed to be mind readers?
Still, your story was extraordinarily well written... So, upvoted for that. Even if I could never get on board with your perspective.
6152088 nah...but still... they destroyed almost all of Ponyville
6152099 It's funny that you say that you can't get on board with my perspective, yet at the same time, you point out the same ideas I was trying to get across in this story.
6152112 Well, not really... The mere thought of writing a story where the opening passage is about Twilight feeling the need to sorry to those jerks strikes me as impossible. She didn't fail at all, and I don't see it in her character to take personal responsibility for something that clearly wasn't her fault.
Perhaps those ponies understand that sometimes you have to shoulder the burden for certain situations in diplomacy to preserve peace, even if the other party is far more culpable... Which is why I wouldn't make a very good princess, I think I can live with that...
6152127 Considering that Twilight was blaming herself for causing the yaks to declare war in the episode, I don't think this behavior is out of the ordinary for her. But, to each their own headcanon.
6152140 As in a dramatic reading? By all means. I'd be honored.
6152143
Oh, sorry...wrong account. I'm not good/never done a/at dramatic reading, however, I'll try my best.
The account I meant to comment with was Short Stories, FYI.
6152161 Ah, it's fine. You don't have to if you don't want to.
6152189
No, I'd like to do a reading.
Just saying I haven't done a dramatic one before.
6152200 I thought that was just a common term that encompassed all live readings. I suppose I just misspoke.
6152141 I meant AFTER the episode (Where your fanfic is set) when everything had been resolved. I think, after Pinkie's speech, Twilight would have seen that the YAKS were the ones with the problem, and no apologies were necessary (at least, from her end). But, as you say, each to their own...
It was at the piano scene where I really made the connection that what they really wanted was authenticity, and that Prince Rutherford had been miscommunicating the whole time.
My question is, what kind of crazy-ass fauna does Yakyakistan have that the yaks were fooled into thinking that various animals with false horns randomly attached to them were Yakyakistani?
6151830
Not to mention Celestia, as the main and oldest ruler and Twilight´s teacher, should have bottered in preparing her pupil for her first diplomatic visit, including a few lessons about Yak culture.
6151830
After reading your comment, something occurred to me; the yaks speak broken English (or whatever language the ponies speak), which would indicate that they don't have a complete grasp of the language. Is it possible that in the yak language, "perfect" and "authentic" are the same word, and it was simply a mistranslation on their part? That being said, it still doesn't justify their destructive behavior. Then again, it's not too inaccurate; diplomats can be real assholes.
6152280
Given how long the Yaks had isolated themselves, I wouldn't be surprised if Princess Celestia knew nothing about their current culture. Even it had been unchanged from the past, she still went at least a couple of centuries without needing that information, and she likely forgot it.
6152040
If the Yaks had carried out their threat of war... well, Equestria is fully within their rights to defend themselves to the best of their abilities. But, yes, I know the sort of stories you're talking about, and I agree with your assessment.
6152283
That is a fair point.
I think the major problem with the Yaks is that they seem to be heavily sheltered from the rest of society. Up until this point, it seems they've had no contact with any other civilization, and are far behind in the times. The way they speak, dress, and attitude makes me think like that.
One thing I just can not understand in this episode is the lack of help from Celestia. Yes, Twilight's mission was to make friends with the yaks, and that she is Princess of Friendship. However, that doesn't excuse Celestia's lack of action yet again. You'd think she'd at least be around to offer some advice, or send one of her own advisers to assist Twilight since this is the first diplomatic negotiation she is doing.
6152367 I'm sure Celestia would've given Twilight help if Twilight actually asked for it. From what I gathered, Twilight wanted to prove herself by befriending the yaks before Celestia arrived to meet with them. It seems that even with her new title and responsibilities, she hasn't been able to kick that old habit.
Headcanon accepted.
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
I still must be hanging out in all the wrong places; I didn't realize people hated the yaks so much until reading this story and the comments. I personally loved how completely madcap the whole escapade turned out to be,
This story was really great! I hated the yaks at first but now I see them in a different light. You did a really great job writing everybody.
That was a nice read. I like how you wrote the yaks here as well as how you handled Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia. They all felt in character and it serves as a nice epilogue to the episode. With the lesson involved, I could easily see this actually happening in the show. Anyway, excellent work as always!
thank you,
I really needed a good closure for this episode
I honestly think a lot of these episodes could be saved with proper epilogue a or resolutions. FICA like these help fill that role perfectly. Thanks!
The yaks are essentially a race of Manowar fans. "Metal not true? SMASH!"
Now if only someone would call out the Everfree Forest deer for not caring that their replanting efforts robbed ponies of their homes who had nothing to do with Well To Do's construction.
I for one enjoyed the episode as it was even with the Yaks being so difficult. Much of my reasoning follows this story, but I also like the realistic portrayal of other countries/species not always being reasonable. Even so, from the beginning I was yelling at the Mane 6 to stop catering to their culture. To quote Giuliano from DaVinci's Demons: "This is Florence. They will love it, or they will leave!" While courtesy is a must, often the point is to put on such a grand show of your own country that the foreign delegates return to their own demanding improvements to reflect what they've seen.
Of course, the tragedy of this is that 1000 moons can be estimated to be only about 80 years, which is approaching the upper limit of what we could possibly expect Pinkie to live to short of Alicornication. Wow, that got morose quickly...