Uneasy glances darted about the NAHTI. "So, uh..." Dash rubbed her forearm. "Now what?"
"We could always do research," said Twilight.
"Allow me to save you some time there," said Mr. Discord. "I've literally written books on the subject, after all. No book you'll find in a public high school library will be of any help here, the Internet will be as credible as it ever is, and firsthand testimony will be no better. I've interviewed dozens of occultists, mesmerists, spiritualists, all kinds of ists, and the ones who weren't frauds had the sense to put 'For entertainment purposes only' on their business cards."
"Actually..." All eyes turned to Fluttershy. "I think I know someone who could help."
Mr. Discord sighed and shook his head. "You can try, Fluttershy. The rest of us will keep working on this and bring you up to speed when you come back disappointed."
Everyone but Twilight glowered at him, though Fluttershy looked more sad than angry. Applejack turned to Fluttershy. "Ah'll get ya there, sugarcube. Ain't like Ah got much t' offer here."
"Actually," said Rarity, "could you take Rainbow Dash and me to the Boutique?"
Dash crossed her arms. "It's gonna take a lot to get me to run the register two days in a row."
Rarity shook her head. "Not that. There's a certain wardrobe issue you and Fluttershy may not have considered."
Fluttershy tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"Well, your top has room for your wings, and it appears that Rainbow's has made accommodations for hers, but can the same be said of the rest of your clothes?"
Both winged girls went still for a moment. "Aw, crap," said Dash.
"I do have a lot of tank tops, but... Oh dear."
Rarity smiled. "I planned on being in the Boutique for the rest of the day anyway. Sweetie Belle's staying the night."
"Where are your folks, anyway?" asked Dash.
Rarity rolled her eyes. "The Fair Food Fair in Whinneapolis. An entire festival devoted to putting things on sticks and deep-frying them." She put a hand to her forehead. "It's just about the only thing they've been talking about since their last vacation." After a deep breath, she said, "But that's neither here nor there. I'll be happy to help you adjust your wardrobe."
"Thanks," said Dash. She turned to Applejack. "This cool with you, AJ?"
Applejack nodded. "Sure thing."
"We will need to go by your apartment to pick up a few things for me to work on," said Rarity.
"Um, excuse me?" They turned to Twilight. A few hairs had slipped out of her bun, and she couldn't decide quite where to focus her incredulous stare. "I'm sorry, but is this really more important than figuring out how to stop the destruction of the universe?"
"Can you think of any way that we could help right now?" asked Rarity.
Twilight looked away. "Well..."
Rarity nodded. "There we have it. Shall we, girls?"
As they left, Mr. Discord patted Twilight on the back. "Don't worry, we'll figure this out one way or another."
Twilight sighed. "She made a good point. Even with all of our expertise, I don't even know where to begin in investigating something that's no one's noticed in all of human history."
"Truth be told, neither do I," Mr. Discord said with a shrug. "Human nature being what it is, anything as useful and simple as actual magic would've been discovered and exploited long ago if it could be put to any kind of practical use."
"Simple?" Sunset shook her head. "Magic is anything but simple."
Mr. Discord blinked. "Surely it's just a matter of snapping your fingers and getting what you want."
"Not at all."
He rolled his eyes. "Well, I suppose you don't have fingers when you're a unicorn, but you know what I mean."
Sunset nodded. "I do, and anything more complex than light or telekinesis requires a lot of work to master for the average unicorn."
"Yes, creating energy from nothing, that's easy."
"More importantly," said Twilight, "that's unicorn magic. We need to figure out human magic here."
Mr. Discord gave a theatrical sigh. "And thus, if you'll pardon my Prench, we return to scenic Shit Creek, not a paddle to be found."
Sunset tapped her chin. "Actually, there may be one."
Twilight and Mr. Discord looked at each other, then back to Sunset. As one, they said, "What?"
"Pinkie Pie."
The four girls were walking out of the school when a horn honked and Vinyl's ride pulled up. Octavia sat in the passenger seat, while Pinkie crouched on the back, clinging to the tops of the seats.
"Okay," said Dash, "there's no way that that's legal."
Pinkie beamed. "But it worked!" She freed her hands with a grunt and shook them out.
Vinyl looked at the dents left behind, then glared up at Pinkie.
She shrugged. "It wouldn't have happened if one of you had let me sit on your lap."
"She wouldn't have been able to see around your hair," said Octavia.
"But—"
"Even if you'd sat with me."
Pinkie considered this for a moment. "Yeah, probably." She hopped onto the asphalt. "So, what did I miss?"
"What'd ya miss?" Applejack echoed. "Where've ya been?"
"Oh, you know, figuring out why we're stuck in pony mode. Turns out the rest of the bands were putting on a concert at the same time as us." Pinkie beamed. "A bunch of them grow ears too!"
Fluttershy gasped. "But... but if using the magic makes things worse, and Twilight, Sunset, and Mr. Discord are still doing experiments..."
"We can't let 'em keep goin'!" said Applejack.
Rarity put a hand on her shoulder. "But if they can't research this any further, we'll never know how to fix it."
"Come on," cried Dash, "they've already made things bad enough that Derpy got wings, and we have nothing to show for it!"
Octavia cleared her throat. "If I may interject?" All eyes turned to her as she got out of the car. "Between you, us, the other bands, and Ditzy Doo, there are twenty or so people who have demonstrated the ability to grow ears and extra hair. It seems to me that if only two of them are exercising that ability, it won't be nearly as harmful as all of them at once."
Pinkie tilted her head. "Two of them?"
"Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle."
Pinkie shook her head. "Different Twilight."
"Don't ask," Applejack added as Octavia opened her mouth. "It's complicated."
Octavia shrugged. "Well, if it's only one magical person, then my point is even more valid."
"Yes," said Rarity, "but we have no way of knowing if that's the case."
Octavia crossed her arms. "Nor do we have any way of knowing if it isn't."
Applejack looked back and forth between them. "Uh, you two ain't gonna have some kinda 'fancy-off,' are ya?"
Both girls turned away and scoffed. "As if she'd stand a chance." They whipped their heads back to glare at one another with eerie synchronicity. "Why you—" They lunged for each other, only to find themselves restrained.
Vinyl and Fluttershy looked over their respective friends and traded an understanding smile. Vinyl twisted herself enough to give Octavia a pat on the head.
"Now really isn't the time, Rarity," said Fluttershy. Arms that had held down more than one temperamental Rottweiler tightened a little to emphasize the point.
Rarity drooped. "I suppose you're right. I am sorry, Octavia. I'm getting a terrible headache, and I'm finding myself very irritable."
Vinyl's face twisted with restrained laughter. A strained snort escaped.
"Don't be crass, Vinyl." Octavia took a deep breath. "Apology accepted."
A noisemaker sounded, and nearly everyone jumped. Pinkie just checked her phone. "Huh. Well, that's convenient." She walked towards the science wing as she waved to everyone. "I must go. I am needed for SCIENCE!"
Applejack gulped. "Show o' hands. Who else is more worried now?" Everyone else raised their hands. Applejack let out a sigh. "Okay, not just me, then."
"Let's get going before we grow hooves," said Rarity.
Pinkie threw open the door to the NAHTI. "Greetings! I come bearing gifts!"
Mr. Discord smiled. "Should we beware?"
Pinkie brandished the band checklist. "Nay, no Trotian horse I! I come bearing sooth for thee!"
"Thou wouldst 'thou' thy teacher, impudent whelp?" Mr. Discord crossed his arms and scoffed. "What sooth could a fool such as thou bring to we learnèd ones, wise in the ways of natural philosophy?"
"Things beyond your philosophy, honored elder." Pinkie held the band packet high. "Behold! A census of those in whom the Horse is strong."
Mr. Discord took it and looked over it. "Zounds! Thou art wise indeed, young fool. Much can be made from this intelligence."
"You know," Twilight said to Sunset, "I think it says something that I'm getting used to this kind of thing."
Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Given how much time you've spent around Mr. Discord, I'd have thought you already were."
"I've honestly never seen him as happy as he's been today."
Sunset smiled. "Pinkie does have that effect on people." She clapped her hands, drawing the attention of the banterers, who had produced silly hats and props at some point. "Okay, you two. We need to study human magic. That list should definitely help with pony magic, but we don't even know where to begin for this side of the portal." Sunset paused. "Well, other than Pinkie."
Pinkie shook her head as she put down her toy sword. "Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to help."
"Why not? This is important!"
"That's why I'm not going to be able to help. My tricks only work when it's funny." Pinkie spread her arms. "We're in a literal laboratory setting trying to figure it out to stave off the end of the world! The only we could make it less funny would be to add dead baby jokes!"
Sunset blinked and realized that the oversized pirate hat that Pinkie had been wearing was gone. She found herself wondering if it had ever really been there. "Oh. Well, I'm out of ideas."
"Ooh!" Pinkie bounced on her heels. "What about Vinyl Scratch's built-in Auto-Tune?"
Mr. Discord clicked his tongue. "Miss Pie, it isn't nice to draw attention to speech impediments I'm not allowed to analyze."
Twilight gasped. "What about chromelanin?"
"Hmm." Mr. Discord stroked his goatee. "Magic might be able to explain how one pigment protein could produce a rainbow of colors. Literally, in the case of Rainbow Dash's hair. But that won't answer the question of how to apply our world's magic."
"What about the symbols on your clothes?" asked Sunset.
Everyone else gasped. Mr. Discord smacked himself on the forehead. "Of course! Hiding in plain sight!"
Twilight and Pinkie looked utterly horrified. "You're..." Pinkie swallowed. "You just aren't supposed to talk about those."
Sunset sighed. "Fate of the world. Transgress the taboo or die holding it." She crossed her arms, frowning at the other girls' incredulous expressions. "I reserve the right to put the bitch crown back on if it keeps us all alive."
Mr. Discord nodded. "Twilight, Miss Pie, you can both go."
"But..." Twilight was silent for a few moments, eyes darting about, looking for words. "But, sir—"
He put up a hand. "It's alright. I'm not even a Harmonist."
Pinkie's jaw dropped. "How would you even—"
"My sister converted..." Mr. Discord blinked. "Goodness, has it really been more than forty years ago now? Suffice to say, she had all the zeal of the newly converted and none of the discretion that comes from being raised not to share with anyone not already in the know." Mr. Discord smiled. "Go on, girls. Any higher power that has a problem with this can take it up with me."
Twilight swallowed. "O... Okay, sir."
"We'll just, um..." Pinkie bit her lip. "We'll be around. If you need us."
They trailed out, fearfully looking behind themselves now and again.
Applejack had parked by Nimbus Heights, the tall apartment complex that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash both called home. Both had gone in to get some clothes for Rarity to alter, so now it was just her and Rarity. Applejack considered her passenger in the rear view mirror. Rarity sat with none of her usual poise, just holding her hands over her forehead. "Headache that bad?"
"Hmm?" Rarity shifted, folding her legs, placing her hands in her lap, and holding herself with all the grace she'd lacked a moment earlier. "What, that little thing? I'd nearly forgotten about it."
Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Uh huh." She turned to face Rarity. "Rares, Ah've seen you turn a stubbed toe into a five-minute production."
Rarity looked to one side and muttered, "Closer to three." She straightened and smiled. "But that just shows you how inconsequential this is."
"Ah also remember th' time we was all helpin' Fluttershy at th' shelter and no one knew that dog had bit you until yer sleeve turned red."
"We were all having such a marvelous time," Rarity said, unable to face Applejack. "There was no reason to interrupt it."
"Never mind that the dang thing mighta been rabid." Applejack sighed. "Point is, if you ain't caterwaulin', then it must be real bad. You don't gotta be a hero, girl."
Rarity rolled her eyes. "We have rather more pressing concerns than a headache."
"We ain't worried about them right now, now are we? If you ain't up to makin' wing holes, yer allowed to say so."
"I appreciate your concern, Applejack, but it is entirely unnecessary."
Applejack snorted, but her response was preempted by Rainbow Dash knocking on the passenger door, a bundle of cloth under one arm. Fluttershy stood behind her, holding a few loaded coat hangers.
Applejack scowled and said, "Jus' take care of yerself, okay?"
Rarity dipped her head. "I shall."
Applejack nodded and unlocked the doors. Dash leapt in the back.
Rarity scowled at the bundle in her arms. "Really, Rainbow, do you want to wear a mass of wrinkles?"
"Eh." Dash shrugged.
"You two have any trouble?" said Applejack.
Dash shook her head. "Mom and Dad are both at work."
"Father is on a business trip in Prance, and Mother was running errands," said Fluttershy.
"We good to go to the Boutique?" Dash asked.
Rarity nodded. "I believe we are."
Applejack gave her one last look through the rear view mirror. "Then let's get goin'."
Mr. Discord put his hands behind his back and began to pace. "Tell me, Miss Shimmer, what does that design on your shirt mean to you?"
Sunset blinked and looked down at the two-toned sun. "It's my cutie mark. It represents my special talent. In my case, that means a gift for combining seemingly contradictory magics, just like the sun is a force of both creation and destruction."
Mr. Discord nodded. "I see. And how did you get it?"
Sunset's gaze grew distant. "When I was a filly, I figured out how to improve a light spell by drawing on ambient lumination, creating a brighter light and a patch of darkness." She gestured at her shirt. "Then this appeared on each of my flanks."
"Ah. Here, they're known as icons, and there's rather more to the process than that. Apparently, after the epiphany, one must travel to the local temple, beseech the priests for some special swatch of cloth, and go meditate. I'm told that the cloth will take on the color of the bearer's skin when he's ready, and will assume the appropriate design after he reflects on that epiphany." Mr. Discord shrugged. "Mind you, this is secondhand. My sister was the one who thought that the sum totality of her being could be expressed through the incredibly deep symbolism of a quill and inkwell. Not that she'd tell me why. She may have been willing to spill a lot of taboo information, but apparently that one was too personal even for her."
Sunset gulped. "So every time I asked someone at school what their cutie mark meant..."
"You were asking them to share one of the deepest, most personal experiences a Harmonist can have."
"I was just trying to break the ice." Sunset groaned. "No wonder I wasn't winning anyone over after the Fall Formal. You know, aside from the whole 'she-demon' thing."
"In any case, we can't exactly go to the local temple and ask for a sample." Mr. Discord paused briefly. "Well, we could, but they obviously wouldn't say yes."
Sunset shook her head. "Any other magical traits that are shared among the tribes clearly aren't part of human magic. Tactile telekinesis, the groinal veil..."
"The what?"
Sunset reddened. "Never mind."
"At this point," said Mr. Discord, "we need to ask ourselves if we can consider this a negligible factor."
"No, human magic clearly altered the readings, even mine."
"Allow me to rephrase that. If we could ignore human magic, would you have any idea of what to do?"
After almost a minute of thought, Sunset shook her head. "Not without help from Equestria."
Mr. Discord leaned in close. "And when can we expect that?"
After a moment, Sunset looked away. "I have no idea. I haven't heard back since yesterday. For all I know, Princess Twilight's hundreds of miles away from the portal right now."
Mr. Discord nodded and sighed. "There comes a time when you need walk away from the problem for a while. I'd say we've reached that point."
"But—"
He held up a hand. "Right now, we're beating our heads against the wall. You've done some incredible work today, Miss Shimmer, and it has been a pleasure to be a part of it. We can tackle the problem with fresh minds tomorrow."
"There may not be a tomorrow!" Sunset cried.
Mr. Discord raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think that?"
"As long as we know so little about human magic, it's possible."
The eyebrow went higher. "Probable?"
Sunset looked at the floor for a few moments before shaking her head. "No."
"Then give your brain a chance to cool off. Believe me, it can work wonders." Mr. Discord grinned. "And in the interim, do all you can to minimize the risk. Say, have Pinkie Pie call everyone involved to alert them to the situation." His smile widened as he took in Sunset's flabbergasted face. "I've been doing this for a long time, Sunset. I've managed to pick up a few good cognitive habits to go with all the bad ones. Now go show your friends that we haven't been sent to Tartarus."
Rainbow Dash sat in one of the Carousel Boutique's dressing rooms, shirt and jacket removed. Rarity had needed them to get a good idea how to fix the other clothes. Thankfully, Dash's wings hadn't gone through her bra. Taking off everything else had been awkward enough. They might have had holes to let her wings through when worn, but there was nothing for taking the stuff off.
Dash considered her wings. They were flesh and blood, coming out of her shoulder blades. The muscles and bones and stuff didn't seem to add up, but she supposed that was where the magic came in.
The struggle to get her clothes had ruffled the feathers a lot. The sight bothered her. Those needed to be smooth. Streamlined. She angled a wing to get as much access to it as possible and started straightening feathers. She fell into a rhythm, smoothing and aligning and removing the occasional broken one. The sensation was weird, but not unpleasant; it helped lull her into the groove.
"Well, this should suffice for a first pass. What do you— What in the world!?"
Rarity's shocked cry shocked Dash out of her reverie. "Whuh?" She spat out a feather. "What's up?"
Rarity flushed as her mouth worked silently for a moment. "I, uh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt a... delicate moment?"
Dash shook her head. "I was just keeping them neat, is all. It's hygiene, Rarity. You're all about that stuff." She blinked. "I'm not sure why I know that, though."
After a deep breath, Rarity said, "We never speak of this again. Agreed?"
Dash shrugged. "Sure, I guess."
"Very well. Now, let me show you what I've done thus far..."
The place Fluttershy had in mind was apparently called Pure Vibrations. Its storefront was unassuming, no different than the bagel shop on its left or the fabric store on its right. Within was an assortment of crystals, incense sticks, dream catchers, and other flower power paraphernalia.
The smell inside hit Applejack like a fist. It wasn’t exactly unpleasant, but it was certainly intense, like someone couldn’t decide on what potpourri to use and had just gone with everything available. By burning it.
Then came the sound. “Ommm… Ooh ah ah AH AH!”
Applejack blinked a few times. “What the heck was that?”
Fluttershy nudged Applejack with an elbow and frowned. “Be nice.”
A young woman rose from behind the counter, her eyes shut and her red dreadlocks bound in a bandana with a design of a heart on a tree trunk. “The Mantra of Sonic Bliss allows one to commune with the ancestors of all humanity and channel their atavistic wisdom.”
Applejack quirked an eyebrow. “By makin’ monkey noises?”
“Applejack!”
The woman only smiled. “Ancestors of all humanity.” She opened her eyes. “My name is Tree Hugger. How may I aid your journey?”
Applejack edged back. “Uh, Shy? Pretty sure this is your rodeo.”
Fluttershy gave a quiet huff, then smiled and walked up to the counter. “Hello, Tree Hugger.”
Tree Hugger blinked, as though she were only now seeing her customers. “Fluttershy? Whoa. Your aura is, like, manifesting itself through your material shell. Far out.”
Fluttershy looked away and gripped an elbow. She felt her wings ruffle themselves. “That’s kind of why we’re here.”
Applejack nodded. “We’re lookin’ fer magical know-how.”
Tree Hugger shook her head. “We don’t offer ‘magic' here. We offer the means to channel primordial energies that have been forgotten and abandoned by this so-called ‘civilized’ world.” Strains of sitar music began to play. Tree Hugger pulled a cell phone out from her hempen dress, sighed, and clicked it off. “Sorry. A young soul in the body of a telemarketer.”
“Look, missy," said Applejack, "you can call it what you want, but we got an actual magical emergency on our hands.”
Fluttershy nodded and flapped a wing.
Tree Hugger’s dreadlocks shifted in the breeze, and her jaw dropped. “Those things are real? Like, physically present?”
“Ears too.” Applejack waggled hers. “So, you got anything useful?”
Tree Hugger's mouth worked silently for a few moments. "I feel like I should be asking to learn from you. Your understanding of the cosmos must be so vast."
"So... you can't help us?" Fluttershy wilted.
Tree Hugger shook her head. "The only ones who can help you in the way you want are yourselves."
"Oh. I see."
Applejack sighed and put an arm around Fluttershy. "Well, thanks anyway."
Tree Hugger spread her arms wide, her fingers folded in an odd gesture. "May your enlightenment spread, brilliant ones."
"Kinda what we're tryin' t' avoid," Applejack muttered.
Sunset found Pinkie and Twilight standing by her car. Judging by Pinkie's capering, she was in the middle of a story.
"... and it turned out the alligator never had any teeth to begin with!"
Twilight puffed and whistled with repressed laughter like an old boiler. She quieted when she saw Sunset. "Oh. Hello."
Pinkie turned around and swallowed. "H-heya, Sunset."
Sunset smiled. "You know, it's really not that different from Equestria."
The two shared a look. Twilight said, "It isn't?"
"It's a bit more... well, automated."
Pinkie looked around, leaned in, and whispered, "And the icon really shows up on your hips?"
Sunset nodded.
"Wait, what?" asked Twilight.
"It's true!"
"I don't see what's so strange about that," said Sunset. She folded her arms. "Cutiesynthesis is a perfectly natural part of pony biology."
A goofy grin spread across Twilight's face. "'Cutiesynthesis'?"
Sunset nodded. "That's the technical term."
The others giggled. Sunset rolled her eyes and smiled. "Need a ride home, Twilight?" she asked.
After a moment, Twilight nodded. She got out her phone. "I'll just tell my brother I won't need him to pick me up."
"Sure thing."
Pinkie tapped her chin. "Do you think pony Twilight has a brother?"
Sunset considered this for a bit, then shrugged. "Maybe? You'd think she'd have mentioned him at some point."
Applejack walked out of the garage, savoring the simple joys of being home and the warmth of the setting sun.
Then she almost walked face first into her brother. "Oh. Hey there, Big Macintosh."
Big Mac just stood there, looking down at her with his arms crossed.
Applejack took a few steps back so she didn't need to crane her head up to meet his gaze. "Aw, c'mon," she said. "Ah told ya Ah'd need the truck today."
Mac raised an eyebrow.
"Is it th' ears? It's th' ears, ain't it?"
Mac began to tap his foot.
"Darn it, you don't gotta badger me about it! Ah'm fine, really. Same ol' Applejack, jus' with a few extras." She kicked a pebble. It zinged by Macintosh's knee and went on until a dull wooden thunk sounded from a ways behind him.
After a long silence, Applejack said, "Okay, maybe more than a few extras."
"Eeyup."
Bifröst was a simple man. He liked his beer cold, his movies high in explosions, and the two most important women in his life safe and happy. He wasn't sure how to feel about one of them growing wings.
Firefly didn't seem to have those issues. The pink-skinned woman was circling Dash, seeming entranced by every slow motion of her daughter's wings. "This is amazing!"
"I know!" said Dash.
"And they really work?"
"They do!"
Bifröst ran a hand through his rainbow hair. "Just do your old man a favor and don't fly too high, okay, Dashie?"
Firefly smirked and punched him in the forearm. "Oh, come on, Beefy. Rainbow's broken enough bones to know her limits."
"That's what you said before she tried skateboarding."
Dash wrapped her arms around him, followed by her wings. "It'll be okay, Daddy. Really."
"You only call me Daddy when you're trying to get me to stop worrying."
"Is it working?" He could hear her smirk.
Bifröst chuckled and ruffled Dash's hair. "A little."
"Oh my..." Posey rushed to Fluttershy, then took one of her daughter's wings in her hands as gently as she could. "What is... What?"
"We're working on a solution, Mother," Fluttershy said.
"Does it hurt? Do you need anything? Are there any other symptoms? Is there a cure?"
Fluttershy gave a silent sigh. Her coloration was so close to her mother's, this was like watching an older version of herself worry. "It's not a disease, Mother, it's... well, it's magic."
Posey stared at Fluttershy for a moment. "You joined a cult!?"
"No..." Luna tried to keep herself as calm as she could. "Mrs. Blossom, you are far from the first concerned parent to bring this to my attention. I assure you, we have the best minds available working on a solution."
She massaged her temples as the woman on the other end of the line jabbered the inevitable frantic reply into her ear. "For the sake of the investigation, I have been asked not to divulge their identities, but I can attest to their expertise in these matters."
Luna tried deep breaths. She tried counting to ten. She tried meditating on calming images: tranquil waters, twinkling stars, the full moon. She managed to force a bit more calm. "The moment we know anything more, I will let you know personally. Good night, Mrs. Blossom." She ended the call with as much savage force as a finger poking a touchscreen could manage.
Only then did Luna let loose. "You paranoid pile of projected anxiety! You give helicopters a bad name, you hovering, hairy worrywart! Take a deep breath, count to ten, and foreign as the concept may sound, RELAX!"
A tinny Beethoofen piano piece began playing. Luna smiled. It would be enough for the next one. "Good evening. This is Vice Principal Luna."
As she addressed the latest in a long line of panicking parents, observatories around the world silently agreed that all of their instruments had experienced the same glitch at the same time. It was that or admit that the moon had shuddered in its orbit.
"When you're a young teenager,
Not quite child or adult,
You don't know where you can fit in
And there's no one to consult..."
Rarity sat, enraptured by her sister's voice. Sweetie sprouting ears came as no surprise. At this point, it would've been criminal for music this beautiful not to lead to a pony transformation. Furthermore, it was the only thing besides working on clothing that helped against Rarity's headache.
Yes, after the song, Rarity would probably need to alert Sunset about Sweetie's awakened magic. Yes, in light of Pinkie's message, she probably shouldn't have let Sweetie start singing in the first place. But for now, she was going to savor the moment and relieve her pain. She was going to take care of herself.
Pinkie hummed to herself as she came home. "Hi, Mom and Dad!"
"Evening, Pinkamena," Cloudy Quartz said from her knitting.
Igneous Rock peered over his newspaper. "You seem to have grown horse ears."
Pinkie stood straight, arms behind her back. "Yes, sir."
"This permanent?"
"Working on a way to fix it, sir."
Igneous gave a slow nod. "Alright, then. Keep me up to date on the matter."
Pinkie returned the nod. "Yes, sir."
Already interrupted, Pinkie's humming faltered as she made her way upstairs. By the time she went in her bedroom, even her smile was slipping. She looked back and forth, moving from corner to corner of her room. Eventually, fully frowning, she settled on a spot on the wall just above her TV. "Hey," she said, apparently to no one.
She crossed her arms. "You know who I'm talking to, buster."
Oh. Uh, hi.
"Hi. Look, I don't know who or what you are. I'm assuming you're part of the whole 'building magic' thing."
Something like that, yes.
"That's fine, but I'm about to change into my PJs, so you need to leave. Now, please."
Right. Sorry about that.
Pinkie gave a small grin. "Just don't do it again and we'll be good. It's kind of creepy."
Sure thing.
Sunset drove home, such as it was. She'd left Equestria with nothing more than the shirt that had appeared on her back and as much money as she could carry. They didn't accept bits here for obvious reasons, but a no-questions-asked pawn shop and an aggressive negotiating style had left her with a handsome sum of local currency. From there, she'd hopped about the less savory parts of society, gathering documentation, more funds, and a place to call her own.
Sunset might have abandoned most parts of her old life, but the old warehouse was one she couldn't do without. Literally. It wasn't like she could bum sleepovers off of her friends for the rest of her life, and she did own the place. The exterior still looked fairly rundown, but she'd manage to furnish the interior rather comfortably.
Car parked and locked, Sunset made her way to the entrance, rubbing her forehead against a developing headache. The clatter of garbage in an alleyway didn't give her pause. There were several stray cats in this part of town. A growl far too deep for any stray, on the other hand, made her stop where she was.
Old reflexes came to the fore. Sunset invoked light, and her palms glowed. The light flickered with her concentration as she tried to process what she was looking at. There were elements of human and equine in the figure, and more besides. Its jaw jutted out muzzlelike from a human face, scaly lips unable to completely cover a set of wicked fangs. A fin emerged along the back of its neck, behind its blue-haired scalp. Its arms were too long and thin for a human, looking like they were stretched. Three digits emerged from each palm, but other than the thumbs, they forked halfway, tipping each forelimb with five claws. It had no legs, only a long muscular tail, though one that had a pair of human feet dangling at the end. And it still wore the ragged remains of an outfit that the green magelight turned black.
"Yooouuu," the creature snarled at Sunset, filling the word with as much hate as it could even as it struggled to form the word at all. It pushed itself up, and she could see the puckered crater at its throat, formed around a seven-sided crystal she'd helped destroy a few days ago.
Sunset's thoughts raced. The blue one. What was the blue one's name? "Sonata?"
The creature blinked, then glared. "Whaaat?"
"I..." Sunset swallowed. "I don't know what's happened to you, but—"
"Yoouu haaa'ennned." Sonata slammed a palm onto the pavement and dragged herself closer.
"My friends and I are studying magic. We can help you!"
Sonata tilted her head. "Heeel' 'eee?"
Sunset nodded and plastered a grin on her face. "Yes! Together we can—"
"Yoouu caaaan heeel' 'eee," Sonata said, lowering herself.
"Great! How?"
"DIE!" Sonata lunged forward, mouth opened wide.
Sunset threw up her arms and called forth the first shield spell that came to mind. A green wall formed between her and the siren just in time to block the bite. The barrier then exploded, sending Sonata flying back and crashing into the dumpster.
Sunset gulped. Right. That had been a shield she'd developed personally. One that redirected the force, combining offense and defense. Probably not the most diplomatic spell she could've picked.
Sonata dragged herself out of the dumpster, snarling even more than she had to. "Thaaat iiis yoouur heeel'?"
"I'm sorry! I—"
The siren gave a sound somewhere between a human scream and an animalistic roar and lunged forward, teeth bared.
Sunset gave a scream of her own, thrust out her hands, and just willed the creature away.
The burst of magic knocked her off her feet. Judging by the fading howl and the lingering, rising smoke trail, it had done a lot more to Sonata.
Sunset just stared up for a moment. There something warm on her forehead, and a stinging pain in the middle of it. She reached up and felt a small point surrounded by what was probably blood. "Horseapples."
Later that night, Spike stirred in his basket. A bright light was keeping him up. He opened his eyes.
In her bed, his mistress was glowing.
Spike gave little puppy grumbles, turned around a few times, and lay back down, facing away from his mistress. This was far from the strangest thing she'd ever done.
Sunset awoke to the sound of her journal buzzing. She flipped it open. The message she found was scrawled across the whole page.
Get to the portal.
NOW.
Her concerns seem to relate to the fact that Equestria is going crazy too.
Wuh oh.
Hmm...
I await more.
Although I wonder if there is a way to make the anthro condition permanent, without any side effects.
Welllp.
Every molecule in their bodies exploding away from one another at the speed of light. Total Protonic Reversal.
Uh... nice knowing you... Ulp.
The groinal veil is also known as Y7 magic.
Rarity don't tempt fate like that it might just take you up on the offer!
Well that can't be good. I'd hate to see what'll happen if Celestia loses her temper.
So would it be correct to assume the sirens have suffered more extreme changes because of all the negative energy/magic they’ve absorbed over the years? Or will there be another explanation incoming?
You know I never understood why Twilight, Rarity, and Sunset never gained horns. I mean Rainbow and Fluttershy gain wings, why do the unicorn girls not get their defining physical trait? It's tribalist I tell you!
Oh and it looks like Human Twilight will be getting in on the magic pony girl action.
…do I even want to know what Puppy Spike considers to be stranger then that?
Help from Equestria finally arrives!
6454712
You'll see precisely how next chapter.
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We're not at marshmallow-exploding levels of bad. Not yet, anyway.
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Some of the most powerful magic there is.
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With regards to the sirens, good guess, but not quite what I was going for. You'll see next chapter.
As for human Twilight... Yeah, you really don't want to know.
So Discord's sister's cutie mark is a quill and and inkwell. Is she, by any chance, Fausticorn?
"Maybe? You'd think she'd have mentioned him at some point." -- Best joke.
One heck of a cliffhanger you've given us, FoME. Eagerly awaiting just about everything that is likely in the next chapter.
Oh dear. I think we just got a new alicorn princess.
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Considering how strong the magic has gotten now that the floodgates have opened, I would bet that if/when the problem is solved, things are still going to be pretty changed.
I love the Humane 5's family's reactions.
Aw Rainbow's Daddy's Little Girl isn't she?
Technically Princess Celestia could be seen as a Sun God so...
I don't know why, but I like this one the most with just how straight-to-the-point Igneous is.
To be fair she did just try and take a bite out of you while screaming "Die" even after you offered to help her. Diplomacy kind of goes out the window at that point. I suspect Adagio at the very least would be more diplomatic then her cohorts.
I have to say, what we've heard about Harmonism so far is kinda wigging me out. It's especially worrisome because the religion is apparently so widespread.
I mean... taboo subjects that only the members of the religion are allowed to know about and aren't allowed to talk about? Secretive temples that only let in people who already practice? Strange rituals involving "meditation?"
I'm sorry, this sounds like a massive scam in the vein of Scientology at best, or a creepy cult at worst.
6456304 Wait, Scientology isn't considered a cult? With the shit I do I think they very well earned the name.
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I think most people consider it a cult, but the thing is, it IS an officially recognized religion by the American government, so... it is, but it isn't.
Well. Sirens sure got the shortest stick in a pile. In all honesty though, being turned into this kind of chimera is arguably worse than death.
6456479 Well, to be fair, most EVERYONE has their 'emblems' and a strongly preferred color scheme. And it's apparently assigned with the assistance of Harmonists. Actual assistance, too, not enforced by them in any way. We aren't talking a cult, or even mainstream religion. It's... More like a community service on a global scale. Or at the very least close enough to that - of course, there are still the atheists, and apparently some actual 'cults' out there. But those guys look pretty much dominant. Our world doesn't really have anything even remotely comparable.
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Yup. Much like magic-vision Ditzy Doo and human Discord the physics teacher, Fausticorn being Discord's sister is something I imported from my crossover stories. And yes, that means that the principals are his nieces.
And while I may have come to accept Shining Armor, I am never letting go of the frater ex nihilo.
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Four things:
1. Anyone can enter the temple. It'd be pretty hard to get new converts otherwise! Not being allowed to get a sample of the sacred cloth is the difference between being allowed in a Catholic church and being allowed to grab a few Eucharists for a snack.
2. The rites actually work. This isn't people clearing out thetans with e-meters; this really is how a lot of people in this universe figure out their cutie marks.
3. Like Christianity, Harmonism is widespread in the generic Americanadian region of Canterlot High, but is far from worldwide. Again, not the only means of puzzling out one's purpose.
4. This is extrapolated from the movies. Just about everyone seems to have personal symbols, but no one talks about them. Granted, the narratives don't allow for many opportunities to discuss the matter, but still.
incinerated or rocket propelled?
Chromelanin. (It's one of FoME's blogposts.)
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My bad for not including the link to begin with. Twilight's mention of it now links to the blog.
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My bet is on "offensive teleportation", with Sonata put far, far away from Sunset.
The idea that Sunset lives in a warehouse she's bought is a nice one, and explains one of the big mysteries of EqG nicely.
And I really, really want to see what's been going on in Equestria!
I'm calling it: When Sunset gets to the portal, she's going to discover that magic is leaking out of Equestria--as in there is measurably less magic in the surrounding area than there used to be.
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Alright, let me clarify. There are rooms within the temple that are obviously sealed off to all the people who haven't yet converted. Yeah, there's probably a common room and a worship area that your average person can get into, but there are apparently secret rooms in the back where secret knowledge is shared or secret rituals are performed that people outside the religion (or perhaps not even 'high up' enough in the religion) are allowed to see or know about, and people who have been a part of them aren't allowed to talk about it. This raises red flags.
See, mainstream religions today are open for everybody to see. This allows people to look at their holy books, practices, and other such things and judge for themselves whether or not the religion is right for them. There's less chance to scam or fool anyone into doing something considered absurd or insane because the information is out there for anybody to see, interpret, and criticize.
Harmonism is apparently blocking key information from getting out. The girls clearly state that "they aren't supposed to talk about it" when Sunset and Discord bring it up. Furthermore, they're surprised when it turns out that Discord knows ANYTHING about Harmonism's secret rituals. Apparently it isn't common knowledge and he ONLY knows about it because his sister was bad at keeping secret taboo subjects.
We can extrapolate two things from this.
A) Key information about certain rituals, practices, and teachings within Harmonism is not available on the internet, in the library, in universities, or in any way open to the public. They are obviously not public knowledge because the girls were surprised when Discord knew about one of its most intimate and secret rituals. And if there's one ritual that's kept secret and hidden from the public, who's to say there aren't more? And it's not just a case of them tilting their heads and going "huh, yeah, most people outside the faith don't know about that," like if somebody referenced some obscure Jewish tradition that most people wouldn't be inclined to look up or something. They gasp in shock and clap their hands over their mouths and stutter "y-you're not supposed to talk about that!" and are absolutely scandalized by the fact that somebody mentioned something in public and they're all struck dumb and silent when a person outside the faith reveals that he knows anything about their super secret ritual.
B) Whatever key figures or leaders there are in Harmonism are obviously extremely good at censoring information and keeping things quiet. It's incredibly doubtful that Discord's sister was the first blabbermouth. It's also incredibly doubtful that there aren't people who were are part of the religion and eventually left the faith. With that in mind, the fact that there's no information available from people who heard about it secondhand or left the faith is quite frightening. Somehow, this information is being blocked from the public consciousness. Which in the internet age is scary as hell. The fact that they can apparently keep information from getting out onto the public forum that is THE INTERNET means that they must have serious financial, legal, and personal pull over NUMEROUS authorities and have enough people to continually scan for information being shared and stomp it out. They have the means and resources to combat the Streisand effect, which is a frightening thought.
Which begs the question... what are they hiding? This goes beyond faith and tradition. This is going dark places.
Scientology was revealed for what it was when a high level member of the faith paid enough money to get into the inner circles and found out that the whole "secret" behind the religion was that aliens from space were possessing our bodies because of volcanoes or something like that (not even kidding). This was information not shared with the public, or with the early converts, because, naturally, it's so ridiculous. Only after investing enough time (and more importantly, MONEY) into the religion that they had gotten to the point where it would be impossible for somebody to rationalize to themselves that something they'd put so much time and resources into could possibly be a scam were they allowed to know "the truth." It was only because one convert had the strength of will to say "are you fucking serious with this?" and left the faith, going on to spread the scam around, did people find out about it. Since then, more and more information about how screwed up Scientology is has come out.
Harmonism is somehow blocking people from letting secrets out. And yeah, you could tell me because that's because they're actually on the up-and-up and it actually is the one true religion and nobody has actually lost faith and gone and spilled the beans (though I would argue that is incredibly unlikely, even if Harmonism IS completely legit)... but as we've confirmed, there are blabbermouths like Discord's sister out there spilling the secrets. How is it that no skeptical third party that isn't a part of the religion who has heard a thing from the blabbermouths hasn't revealed what's going on in there? Even if it's completely innocuous, surely people want to know. Human beings are too curious of creatures to not want to know stuff like that.
So the fact that there's no information out there whatsoever is frightening. How are they keeping HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE from getting information out? The sorts of things they could do to accomplish such a thing are very unsavory to think about. Immediately, my mind can't help but jump to bribery, blackmail, threats, and even assassinations.
And how do they know that the rites actually work? Are they SURE the rites actually work? They go into a temple and "meditate" and then a supernatural cloth shows them their cutie mark. A cloth that apparently nobody has ever gotten a sample of to test if Discord's claim is true, and a room in a temple that nobody has seen fit to investigate. How do we know what's in there? Do they use incense or candles? Heck, is the room even ventilated? If so, I can't help but wonder if perhaps there are certain hallucinogens or soporifics being pumped into there, dulling the converts' senses and making them suggestible. In the proper environments with the right chemical cocktails, you could get people to believe a lot of things. Especially if, when they finally nod off, you send somebody in to switch the normal scrap of cloth with a proper colored one with a fancy symbol on it. Through their drugged up minds it looks JUST like the cloth changed color! It must be true! The cloth changed color in front of me!
Now, of course, WE THE READERS know that the Mane 6 (and pretty much everybody else) got the right cutie marks. If there weren't SOMETHING to the whole thing and it WERE just a scam, they probably wouldn't all get the proper marks. WE know there's SOMETHING to all of this, (though it's possible that the church itself is scamming people based off of something legitimate) but the issue is that the people in the world of the story DON'T. WE know not to question the cutie marks, but THEY don't. And yet, the people of this world aren't questioning the strange symbols, strange rituals, and other secretive aspects of the religion? That doesn't follow. It suggests that even if there's something that is legit about the religion, there's a lot that they aren't willing to share. There's a lot they want to hide, and they're willing to go to GREAT LENGTHS to hide it.
And that suggests something darker is at work. Way I see it, there are only a few ways this can go.
At BEST, the meditations are real. People do meditate and see the symbol that means something to them and that's legit. But under the influence of a drug or something, people unknowingly spill this to a scammer of a clergyman, who has the symbol made up onto a cloth and presented to the convert. Smoke and mirrors. Convinced of the legitimacy of the church (even though the epiphany, meditation, and revelations could be experienced perfectly well outside the church environment and the church is feeding off them like a leech), they continue to provide the church with vast amounts of money. This money, among other things, is used to silence people who would question or criticize the church, through whatever means necessary. Let's just say, I wouldn't be surprised if the 'pope-figures' of this religion are named Flim and Flam
At WORST, the meditations are real, and there's even DARKER stuff beneath the surface of the church. And given how much we've already confirmed it would take to make a scam of this calibre work, we're getting preeeeetty freaking dark. But it's conceivable, having scratched the surface of magic with the meditations and the cloths and stuff, that they found some darker applications for more in depth forms of magic. I'm talking doomsday cult or magical supervillains here, trapping people in its thrall by offering them something that is otherwise good, but then leading them down a dark path after that first start, then using them to silence anybody who would otherwise expose the religion for what it is. I wouldn't be surprised if the 'pope-figure' of this religion is named Sombra or Tirek.
Because here's the thing. If the religion WERE made up of good, well meaning people, there would be information about it. It might have tried to keep things secret for a while out of tradition and faith, but people would have eventually found out about what's going on in there and spread it around. The clergy might have despaired that their traditions had been violated, but with the changing times and because they were good people, they would not have gone on a campaign of wild censorship. Maybe some minor censorship would have been attempted, but that would have been vastly criticized and the clergy would have backed off or eventually given up. Certainly, a good, well meaning church wouldn't engage in the sort of things it would take to SUCCESSFULLY censor all this information from the public.
It's the fact that everything is STILL SECRET that raises a major red flag. In the internet age, there would be no such secrets. And the fact that these secrets have somehow managed to be kept is more than alarming.
6460243
I know.
This is by far the weakest part of that particular headcanon. I'd argue that CHS not being swarmed by paranormal investigators after the Fall Formal indicated that this world isn't quite as prone to information leaks as our own, but the scale of both time and population is orders of magnitude larger for Harmonism than it is for the she-demon incident. I don't mean to imply anything sinister, but as you point out, an ancient conspiracy that successfully hides information in this day and age can't help but seem so.
Suffice to say, I do have an explanation for this, but sharing it right now would involve a number of spoilers. All I can do at this point is ask for your patience and your trust. I'm going somewhere with this.
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I would argue that the Canterlot High she-demon and horsey-band incidents aren't even comparable. In a situation similar to the way people respond to magic in the Dresden Files series, most people would immediately assume it was a hoax if it got onto the internet. The backlash against the people trying to sell the 'hoax' would discourage the students who actually saw it with their own eyes from spilling any more information about it. Eventually, the students that saw it would question what they saw. The only people who would swarm Canterlot High would be a select few paranormal conspiracy nutjobs, and they'd be easily taken care of by campus security. The most that would come out of it is, eventually, one day, somebody on the internet will write a well-recieved creepypasta about the 'She-Devil of Canterlot High,' which would eventually go on to spawn several different web series and a brief fad of indy horror games where you have to collect eight pieces of paper.
But something large scale like Harmonism would warrant a greater response from skeptics, simply because it has gotten so large and influential, and I would think that, given all the secrecy and the factors I've previously mentioned, it would be constantly at the center of investigations, inquiries, protests, and conspiracy theories. With that in mind, and the fact that it somehow continues to remain secret, you have to admit that it comes across as slightly sinister when you stop and think about it. I'll trust that you have a plan in mind and I'll remain patient for now, and I'll admit that I'm eager to see where you're going with this, but I hope this giant pink elephant in the room will, at least at some point, be addressed
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Thanks for your trust, and for calling out the elephant. Someone should.
Also, now I really want to see a story where Sunset learns that she's become the equivalent of Slenderman. I'm genuinely not sure how she'd react.
Time for a hurried evacuation, methinks.
Huh, that's a pretty good point.
I like the sound of this Fair Food Fair.
Rarity is totally growing a horn, isn't she?
The wording here really tickles me.
Rainbow skin pigment? Interesting.
Even more interesting.
Oops. Really neat headcanon for the EQG world cutie marks that aren't cutie marks.
And now I'm speculating on the design requirements having a pair of wings on your back would add to the problem of clothing design. Any sort of pullover shirt or outfit would probably be completely out. I'm guessing you'd need lots of clasp in the back style designs, like how the bra Dash is mentioned as wearing presumably works.
Guess the hippies won't be of any help.
Cutiesynthesis, I like it.
Hmn, so now Sweetie. Were the human CMC in the crowd in Rainbow Rocks? I can't remember seeing them present.
Sonata, you're not looking so good. And yep, horny time for the newly anthro unicorns.
Well thanks a lot, Spike!
Uh oh, sounds like Equestria hasn't come out of this unscathed either.
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Yeah, fashion tends to assume that the person wearing the clothes sticks to the standard four-limb body plan. Losses are dealt with fairly easily, but additions? Fortunately, Rarity is on the case.
That part was completely unplanned. Pinkie and Mr. Discord just decided it was time for silly, archaic speech, and I ran with it.
Are they ever?
It works as a scientific term. In terms of common usage, I personally prefer Estee's term, manifest.
They were one of the competing groups.
As for Pinkie, after she was able to pull herself out of Trixie's hat, are you really surprised that she's developing fourth-wall awareness?
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Oh, duh, yeah. I was thinking of just the finals at the end of the movie, and had mentally dropped the lead up contests. I was trying to place them in the crowd watching at the end and was drawing a blank.
Really, just wondering if her sprouting ears was evidence that the ponyness was spreading outside of the Battle of the Bands audience and participants.
Man, Harmonism is the second biggest mindfuck I've experienced today, after today's episode. I love it because it's the kind of detail that completely and utterly changes the feel of the setting (mostly for reasons that Dusty went over already) while still fitting perfectly and makes perfect sense. Nice work.
Your version of how the Humanoid Cutie Marks work is interesting. I like the xenocultural aspects of this, and of the implied Taoist like religion.
Also, the "groinal veil" thing would explain why the Ponies aren't all that body-shy; I'm guessing it's something they can drop at will when they actually want to have sex.
I love Humanoid Tree Hugger!
I wonder if she has the weird synesthetic perceptions of Pony Tree Hugger?
I totally agree with you regarding either Luna's temper.
The Humanoid version of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' theme song!
Heh, I liked Pinkie talking to the Third Person Narrator!
Oh cool ... you had the same idea I did about what might have happened to the Dazzlings after their magic was broken!
... and Sunset's unicorn magic is manifesting. Useful, considering what Sonata was about to do. Of course, Sonata probably wouldn't have reverted into her full Siren form in the first place if not for the Equestrian magic seeping into the Humanoid world.
*snrk*
One might say she's developing a splitting headache, if this is going where I think it's going...
Every lit major ever just died in agony.
I am so in love with her right now.
She's got a zit coming on. A big pointy zit.
Well that trumps my "I'm good with fire magic/fusion magic" theory.
That whole thing about cutie marks in the human world being some religious thing...doesn't really sit well with me, in all honesty. It also kind of negates the whole "we don't have magic in our world at all!" thing that's the core concept of the EGverse before Princess Twilight showed up.
Rainbow Dash getting caught preening cracks me up.
BAD FoME! NO MUFFIN!
Posey either isn't nearly involved enough in her daughter's life or has never heard of the Internet. I'm not sure which. Probably both.
Holy CRAP that's forced.
SUPER holy crap at the nightmare fuel transformation of Sonata.
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To be fair, I did pretty much steal it from Chengar Qordath.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/4/10/597036/medium.png
Pinkie could pull balloons off of her skirt before the advent of Sunset Satan. There wasn't much magic, but it was there.
But yeah, Harmonism is probably one of the most contentious ideas I've come up with. It is going somewhere, though.
What? What's wrong with the rainbow bridge to Asgard?
And so you see why I only wrote one verse.
...Well that turned dark.
In my headcannon, the term is Markforming.
Awesome chapter, very entertaining and with lots of pearls, like Discord sister being apparently Lauren Faust, Raimbow's dad being named Bifröst and Pinkie moment with the narrator.
Great work.
Yes!
6955335 Huzzah!
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Still better than unleashing Gozer the Destructor.
Oh my gosh, I want to draw this scene soooo much! It's wonderful!
Weapons free.
This reminded of a story I once read where a man kept one of those old phones from the 70's or 80's that were really solidly made, just so he could slam it down whenever he had these kinds of calls. Then I wondered why Luna didn't. It would be in keeping with the parallels to Equestria if she still had such 'ancient' technology.
If I converted that right, it's "You would you your teacher"? Is there something wrong, or is that just me?
7597692
My understanding of the vernacular is that it translates to "you would use informal second-person pronouns to refer to your superior?"
6456479 And Jedi is on the Australian census form as a recognised religion...so?
When I read the part where Pinkie and Mr. Discord started speaking waifu, I found myself actually understanding it better than all the science technobabble Sci-Twi uses.
Not sure what that says about me.
Now, all I can say about the part where Pinkie yells at the narrator/author, all I can say is this:
Loving this so far
Though, I find it a little... odd... that given the nature of Discord and Fluttershy's established friendship, he would be one of her teachers.
Oh, and I loved the part where Pinkie and Discord started conversing in Middle English!
"learn-ayd"? You want learnèd.
This thing consistently makes me laugh.
…???
It's nice to see a fic where magic isn't a "all the old myths are true" cliche. Those are always just a hair too uncomfortable, especially the ones that really dig into the worship/religion aspects of historical sorcerous cults.
Nevermind.
I immediately thought of the next scene being like
Now to head back up to "Pinkie Pie." To see how my idea compares to yours
Harmonist? Eh, I'm sure it'll make sense if I keep reading...
Confusion aside, good story so far.