But once she gets there, there are no cucumber sandwiches nor is there tea.

I think she'll find that, based on the concept, there will be a cucumber, and it will end up in a sandwich, one way or the other.

I'm liking it so far. Here have a thumbs up. and pinkie apperantly.

6052154 vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/epicrapbattlesofhistory/images/a/a9/I-see-what-you-did-there.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150225192204

6052208 Thank you very much~!

where is the image from?

6053021 I don't know the exact image, but if you google search "Fluttershy Human Anime Form" you should be able to find it.

This...this smells of so much potential I could bathe in it.
I like that
I'm definitely curious to see how Discord's interactions go in terms of his job Vs Fluttershy as a student. So, keep up the good work!

Hmm. I think I know why I'm not really bothering with anything here (downvote/upvote wise), and that fact is this feels like a waste. You waste two-thousand words having Fluttershy kind of act shy, but also act extremely snarky in her mind, and almost like she is actually a bitch, which while I don;t entirely mind, I like it to feel like there is a reason. Here, there isn't. In fact, this is a decent sized prologue that really only seems to have maybe fifty words of dialogue that link back with the rest of the story, because if she is filling out the paperwork, Discord isn't going to be there for this all important detention.

I was kind of hoping that as she walked down the halls, Discord would have noticed her being distraught, and the two would start talking. When she was about to go in, he tried his best to be confident and offer her a ride home or something. This wouldn't have even needed to be the lead up to the sex, but instead a great show of how naive she is, instead of the BitchShy we got, and let us see how their relationship began on a rather strong note.

But I'm rambling. As I said, I don't plan on tracking this or anything like that. I do believe though, because I do enjoy the shipping, if you wish someone to talk to about the pairing and maybe about an editor, please PM me. But yeah, final thoughts are, not bad, not good, just meh, because this feels like empty space with a Fluttershy that contradicts herself a decent bit.

I like where this is heading. Totally tracking this.

I know I'm kinda late with the comment but I have to say...
that part when she answered the phone? Priceless!
I look forward to see more, Mister Maka

6054347 Thanks you very much, Owl-chan~!

6054566

Here, there isn't. In fact, this is a decent sized prologue that really only seems to have maybe fifty words of dialogue that link back with the rest of the story, because if she is filling out the paperwork, Discord isn't going to be there for this all important detention.

You actually don't know that for a certain.

I was kind of hoping that as she walked down the halls, Discord would have noticed her being distraught, and the two would start talking. When she was about to go in, he tried his best to be confident and offer her a ride home or something. This wouldn't have even needed to be the lead up to the sex, but instead a great show of how naive she is, instead of the BitchShy we got, and let us see how their relationship began on a rather strong note.

A lot of people seem to think of Fluttershy being shy on the inside and out, which would make sense given that's how she most likely acts in the show, but I think a bit differently on that note.

For example, a girl who seems shy in school may be pushed by another girl who just giggles and says "sorry" in a snobby way. The shy girl would say "oh, that's alright" but she may be thinking "jeez, what a stuck-up bitch. Watch where you're going next time."

At least, that's how I think. I'm shy as hell IRL and that's how I think inside my mind...

6054650 Thank you very much! Hope you enjoy future chapters.

6055670 Thank you!

And that's Mrs. Maka to you, young lady.

6052154 Also, who said Discord had the tea?

WTF just happened

6056367 What do you mean, good sir?

6056385 the ending

6056727 Oh. ^_^;

6056848 detention isn't that bad. I had detention 3 times

6056058 I mainly meant in how it feels when I said it seemed like none of it mattered. I know that you could incorporate it all back in somehow, but I got the feeling when I read this that that wasn't the case. You were just setting up the setting. Also, you do paperwork, and then the person starts working there. You are not in the middle of checking his background when you let someone start working in a school in case they're a rapist. So I'll stick to my guns that at the very least he shouldn't be there. By the way, just because of the lack of a dark tag, I really would rather not here you went the rape or forced upon route, even if your description somewhat leans towards that.

Also, there was more I could have commented on, such as the RUSHED pacing with Celestia, but my main point of contention was lack of feeling like this was necessary or needed its own chapter. As for Fluttershy, I commented on bitchshy, but I didn't downvote like I may have normally for the reason you brought up. Outwardly, she was herself, so I was willing to believe that it may have been author interpretation. Of course, then you get moments of her being a bitch a second after her flipping out hard because she is so panicked and scared and shy. That is going to make readers question which interpretation you're going with.

Like I said though, nothing truly bad, but NOTHING I found actually engaging out of it either. She got a detention. I honestly would have suggested to you to have made that internal groaning at the the start of the first chapter as that would have taken like a paragraph, and we would have lost VERY little. At least, so it seems.

Also, ramble ramble ramble. Sorry I did.

6057069 It is for Fluttershy-chan! And perhaps Twilight, though I doubt she would get one. You know, that might actually make an interesting story...

6058091

checking his background when you let someone start working in a school in case they're a rapist.

Since I'm already spoiling enough already, Discord hasn't ever raped anybody before, and he isn't going to rape Fluttershy. I'm not sure why you got stuck on the idea that he was going to force sex on Fluttershy. The tag line says "consensual sex."

6059579 The rapist bit was actually more for emphasis on why you do paperwork before letting the person work at your place. As for why others might be getting the idea, it's because your description makes it sound like when she gets to his house, he will be wanting sex, maybe even if she doesn't. Since the description suggests false pretenses, it can give the wrong impression. I myself am happy to hear that it isn't rape, nor did I actually think you were going to go that route.

6059579 OK I get it now

been waiting for chapter one since june 3rd

6082119 You'll get it one day

Yes!! I can't wait to see how the relationship in the human word is different and or similar to equestria.

I love proluges! (reference to the misspelling) lol jk, I don't care about typos as long as the story is interesting, which it definitely is