Quite the pickle indeed.
We never stopped feeling the cool, winter night air within the cavern. When we left the nameless necromancer’s mental realm, we merely shifted our main focus back to the physical realm. As the world returned to our surroundings, the first thing that we were greeted with was a small colt clutching himself for warmth on the stone floor. Alone, in an alien world, afraid.
I picked him up and held him close. I could feel Tia wrapping around us both. I could only picture the warm smile on her face as she stroked my hair.
”What are we going to do?” I asked. I've had enough of being wrong for one night. Tonight had been just so... exhausting.
”Let’s get him into a bed for now. I can’t imagine sleeping in this cold is doing him any favors.”
It would appear that I will have to rely on her to take the lead for the rest of the night. Not like I thought she minded that much.
I nodded and dried my tears. I had no intention of letting our subjects see me upset. I needed to be stronger than this if I was ever going to surpass being considered the lesser of the royal sisters. I was grateful that Tia waited for me to finish. Then, with a flash of light, she brought us in the castle infirmary’s reception area.
There were a couple of ponies there, recovering from the surprise of having us appear without warning out of nowhere, most likely with no small amount of noise. From the bandage around one’s head, and the pale look on the other’s, they seemed to be patients waiting in line. Hopefully they didn’t mind having a child cut ahead of them. Hopefully no patients inside were woken up by our crackling entrance either.
”Your Highness! Is there something wrong?” A voice behind us sounded.
We turned around, and were happy to find one of the staff, already approaching from down the hall.
”Doctor Seam,” Tia started. ”Sorry to drop in like this. We’d like to bring someone in for recovery.”
As the good doctor came close enough, he appeared to have noticed our charge. His eyes widened in shock and he turned his head away to shout ”Sweet Heart! Plaster! Prep a bed in one of the pediatric areas stat!”, then he hurried over to us pulling out a crystal-point light pen.
”You said recovery? What happened to him?” he asked us carefully, to which my sister answered patiently in kind.
”It’s a long story. I’m afraid the light pen won’t be of any use to anyone.”
Once she finished, the good doctor let out a long, drawn-out breath, put a hoof over the colt’s forehead and pulled the eyelids back. He only offered us a short, harsh, expectant look as he then placed his pen back and pulled off his stethoscope.
”Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to be missing a heart as well. His beating is only a bit fast, but nothing abnormal. Let’s just get him in a bed, and you can tell me your long story.”
Doctor Seamless was a very respected medical sage in Canterlot. If I were capable of illness, or wounded, I wouldn’t ask for anypony better to depend on. I’m certain Celestia shared that sentiment, judging by the relief apparent on her face.
He had a dark green coat with maroon hair, going gray with age. Under his uniform was a needle and thread, a red drop of blood on the needle’s tip.
We followed him through the clinic. I took to appeasing his worries, considering it on the safe side to offer him at least half of the truth.
”The foal we’ve brought is actually a traveler from a different world. There have been complications during transit. He shouldn’t be in any mortal danger, however we’d still like to be certain that there's nothing we'd missed.”
”Another world?" he asked, eying me with no small share of skepticism. "All right, another world. It's not the wildest revelation. What about the eyes, though?”
”We’re hoping he’ll be able to tell us himself soon enough.”
We entered one of the recovery quarters. Its walls had dragons and teddy bears drawn on them. Inside were four beds, each presenting a chair on one side and a table attached on the other, noticeably bigger than your average nightstand.
Next to one of the beds and facing its respective... table, was a pink maned, tan unicorn mare. Her horn was glowing a taffy pink as she was working on a tri-pronged crystal contraption encased within a glass dome, placed on said table. The tri-pronged crystal presented two smaller crystals at its base, inserted into conspicuous slots.
Another nurse, this one a brown earth stallion with muddy yellow hair, came in after us carrying a saddlebag with multiple serums inside. He offered a short bow, but didn't slow down much at all on his way to joining his candy-colored colleague and gently pulling his bags off.
Dr. Seam beckoned us to lay the colt in the bed they were preparing. Once we did, his horn started glowing, emanating a muddy green glow that surrounded the colt.
”There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him, besides the obvious lack of eyes. No unseen injuries, no sickness or magically induced impairment... There does seem to be an enchantment focused on his mind, but it doesn't seem to be either hurting or hindering him in any way. However, it seems to be quite..." He trailed off, eyes widening and face going pale. That couldn't be good.
"Quite what?" I asked.
"Well," the doctor responded, his voice trembling nervously. "It's not harming him... it's actually made up of several defensive seals against unwanted intrusion or magical assault. But that doesn't mean it's harmless. Far from it. One command in question would appear to be an... inactive kill-switch."
The two nurses stopped their work to stare incredulously. They most likely thought they probably just misheard that last part. Celestia and I, however, knew better.
"What are its parameters?" I asked. The doctor seemed faint, but he obliged.
"It would appear to have two, actually. First one being a direct trigger, apparently this colt could, technically, do it any time he'd..." he choked.
"The second one?"
"...It would seem that the second parameter is a failsafe against any kind of magical tampering that would affect his mind(*). For whatever reason, someone decided they'd rather have this boy die than lose his senses.”
It sounded a bit... much, but I sympathized. I could understand the train of thought the nec... our guest was following. Celestia seemed to share my supposition as well. Doctor Seam, on the other hoof, had no idea what was going on. What's more, for all that he knew, he was essentially waving a candle around in an ammunitions room.
"Perhaps it would be best if you only administered a rest and recovery serum to him. Through the gems. And nothing else."
He nodded, then gestured for the nurses to start working on the concoction while he sat down and tried convincing his heart to stop trying to burst out of his chest.
The male nurse chose and picked out certain bottles out of his bags, which his unicorn colleague would take up and measure carefully as she mixed them into a larger, runed jug.
Once the two nurses were done mixing their... whatever it was, they sealed the container, pulled out one of the smaller gems from the larger tri-pronged crystal and placed it into an aperture on the jug. Doctor Seam then took the second one of the two smaller gems and strapped it to the unconscious newcomer’s foreleg. The tri-pronged intermediary then started to glow, together with the other smaller gems, signaling the process of transfusing the substance into the foal’s bloodstream.
I can’t say I remembered such a contraption being used before I was exiled. Apparently it was something that our own ponies figured out during my time away, that they could manufacture crystals which could be used in a wide variety of ways, though imports from the Crystal Empire were far more sought after. Once the kingdom returned, of course.
It was well known that crystals could be enhanced with many different types of magic. With this discovery, the crystal ponies found themselves in the centerlight of not only many business propositions, but also many political demands as well.
It was surprising how many nations took offense to our helping them establish their presence again. So many sour over not being able to bully the kingdom into submission, so many faking indignation and pretending to be threatened, making us out as aggressive invaders annexing them. The nerve!
Leaving the exciting matters of politics aside(**), there wasn’t much left to do for us. We brought our guest to safety, the doctor and his helpers did all they could to make him as comfortable as possible, then they left to tend to the other patients. Leaving us to wait for him to wake up. And from the looks of the complexity of the spell still affecting him, one could only assume how long it was going to take.
My sister seemed fascinated by the intricacies of the spell. ”It would appear he was quite thorough when he designed this spell. It’s not leaving any loose ends at all.”
”How do you mean?” I asked.
”You do remember, an alicorn mind is built quite differently from that of any other kind of pony, let alone from an alien creature.”
I blinked in surprise. I studied the spell in further detail, and surely enough, I found its commands to back up Tia’s claims. His mind was, indeed, being changed into that of an immortal alicorn. It was being recreated to withstand the tides of eternity, as well as becoming connected to the magical aethers and spiritual realms in ways one could only fail to describe with simple words.
Celestia had all the reason in the world to be impressed. To say that what we were seeing was amazing would be an understatement. We were witnessing nothing short of a miracle.
”...So he’s truly becoming one of our own?”
”I know. Quite the pickle, isn’t it?”
”Celestia, he’s becoming an alicorn! There’s four of us now!”
”A male alicorn, to boot.”
'...Oh.'
I stared back at the sleeping colt.
'Quite the pickle indeed.'
”Let’s just put a pin in this matter and leave it for later discussion... Preferably never.”
I only received a mischievous smile in response. I took a few steps forward and snapped at her, ”No! You are not plotting anything this time, Celestia! I mean it!”
She gestured with her hoof in a placating manner, continuing her smiling like she always does in order to get her way. It was infuriating as always, mainly because it keeps working, this time being to exception.
”Let’s just deal with the matters at hoof for now,” she answered, her smile dissolving into concern. ”I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you.”
”I’m fine. I was just caught a bit off-guard was all,” I said, taking a few steps to the side, before continuing. ”I was actually rather concerned with you myself.”
”I wasn’t the one who started crying.”
”Was that how you felt when you lost me?” I ignored her and asked simply, enjoying the sight of discomfort taking up her features instead of mine for once.
In all seriousness, however. Back in the newcomer’s mental realm, I could only imagine what was going through her head when she saw those children’s corpses. I even got a sample, from the distant, buried recollections being resurfaced and drifting through.
Celestia asked me, ”...Was I really that transparent?”
”You looked as if you were about to lose your lunch. I’d have said something then and there, but you started speaking first, surprised that his world really was as cruel as it was.”
She sighed. ”There were a couple things going through my head at the time.” She looked away to the doorway. I closed it with my magic and walked her over to one of the empty beds where I sat at its edge. She chuckled and sat next to me before going on. ”I can’t remember us ever being so close before things went apart.”
”We’ve talked about what happened back then over a hundred times. None of it was your fault!”
”It was. I should’ve seen what was happening to you.”
I huffed. ”If you didn’t see it, then that was my fault. I should’ve been more open back then.” I brushed my head against her chest. She returned the gesture, locking her head over mine. ”I know better now.”
She sighed. It would seem we didn’t quite cover everything in our over a hundred or so talks. I couldn’t blame her.
All our lives, we only had each other. Why was she so upset? I was the one who abandoned her for a thousand years.
”I thought I lost you forever,” she whispered.
Little known fact, I was originally intended to be bound into the moon for eternity. From what I heard, it took her no small amount of effort to shorten my sentence.
”What’s ailing you?” I pushed further, then jested. ”I’d rather not have you turn into a Nightmare as well. Even if maybe I deserve at least that much...”
”Hush now. I’m not going to hear it.”
”Then start talking already.”
My insistence paid off.
”I suppose there’s not much chance for you to not have a solid idea of what went through my head when I saw our guest’s memories. Of the desolate feelings emanating from his recollecting himself finding his family lost forever. Of knowing that he was essentially responsible for what happened.” I was about to speak again, but she cut me off with a hoof on my lips. ”Before you start, I’m sorry, but it’s just how I feel. I was the one who used the Elements against you. I was the one who failed to take meaningful measures to protect you. The same way, he was the one who angered his king, and he was the one who failed to arrive home in time to protect his family. Taking that into consideration, we both have something in common with him. Unlike our cases, however, he didn’t have anyone to help him.”
”Neither did you, back then...” I added.
”...That may be true, but I at least had hope to hold on to. And I eventually succeeded in gaining a second chance. Him, on the other hoof...”
”...Not so much.”
Tia let out a tired breath. ”To make matters worse, it would seem that his relatives no longer even remember his name from beyond the grave. I can only imagine how it might’ve been for his parents to suddenly forget their own child’s face.”
”We have more than enough strings to pull in order to find a solution to that. We'll figure something out. I’m also certain his family will be overjoyed to see him again. Furthermore," I drew away and gave her a stern glare, "enough of that! You remember the name and face of every pony in our kingdom. I’m certain you can afford yourself to forget some of them after a few centuries.”
”Well, I do have to remember for the both of us," she chided playfully. "It just so happens that somepony can’t be helped to even remember the names of those in her own night guard.”
”Oh, bother. You’ve met one, you’ve met them all.”
Her crystal clear laughter always did warm my heart. I had half a mind to try denying my sanity and stop the moon in the sky again, only this time to just freeze time, and keep us here forever. Unfortunately, I actually had all of my faculties this time around.
We just made due with holding each other tight and trying to forget that this moment would have to end eventually.
Tia was the first to break the silence of the moment. ”...He will figure out sooner or later, you know.”
How truly poetic. It’s as they say, nothing good ever lasts forever.
I got up and regarded her evenly. ”About our seal? Not likely.”
”Are you willing to risk it?”
”He’s been alone his entire life. If we’re going to build up his trust in us, we will have to do it now. He doesn’t need to know, he needs to re-learn how to use magic anyway. We can guide him to abandon his former lifestyle. This is a good thing!”
”Withholding the truth is never a good thing,” she offered in rebuke.
”Neither is letting untruths plague your mind. He needs to stop seeing threats in every corner. He needs to trust us. And I need to trust you to not tell him until he’s ready.”
”Very well,” my sister sighed in defeat. ”I only pray he doesn’t find out before he’s ready, on his own.”
I honestly didn’t need her insisting so. I was fully aware of the risk I was taking. I decided to move on to the next subject rather than dwell any further. ”...You were especially smug and all-knowing when I returned in Canterlot. Pray tell, how much did you really know from the beginning?”
”Much less than you’d think, actually,” Tia answered absentmindedly.
I only glared in response to her answer. Tia smiled and held me tight. Oh well, I suppose I could let her off this time...
She didn't wait too long to continue, though. ”To be fair, I wasn’t going on much more than a hunch. From his behavior, his magical imprint and spiritual make-up, it was all just so out of the ordinary. Nothing was adding up. I was having a few ideas, but more than anything I realized that there had to be so much to this strange being, that we couldn’t possibly just disregard him. That maybe we could afford to at least hear him out first.”
”We were going to do it anyway,” I offered quickly.
”Were we now?” She eyed me critically, with a raised eyebrow and the crack of a smile.
”Yes!..."
More staring.
"...Okay, fine. Probably."
Still staring.
"...Maybe?”
She'd yet to relent. ”Truthfully now,” she finally asked, in her ever warm and gentle voice. No wonder our subjects like you more...
I only rolled my eyes and sighed in defeat. ”Truthfully, while we were approaching his location, all I could think about was how to vanquish him as quickly and efficiently as possible, before he could resort to any kind of trickery.”
She let off halfway, and remained at that. It seemed that she was not letting off entirely until I emptied the cup.
Not much for me to do but to just get it over with. This was getting ridiculous. ”...I also might’ve been looking forward to trying out some of my new, occult battle spells. But only because I never get to summon creatures from the abstract planes,” I half-whined.
”On a not entirely unrelated note," she chimed in ,"I think he might’ve visited one of the abstract planes... at least one, anyway. There was quite a distinguishable amount of residual energy specific to those places that he dragged here with him.”
”Oh dear... As if he hadn’t been through enough already. Like one last insult to injury.”
”And to think that you were going to assault him earlier tonight.”
”You can’t rightly blame me! His spiritual energy screamed evildoer!”
”And it still does.” Her tone had turned strict, she let me move away to stand at better attention ”You’ve seen it as well. He shows great promise, but also great potential for evil. You've seen as much as I did within his mind. Perhaps you've seen even more. He’s nothing like the other enemies we’ve faced before. He’s hardened, cold and relentless. He went through hell and did unspeakable things. He’s every bit as cruel as Sombra, as ruthless as Tirek and as unpredictable as Discord. He has the potential to become worse than any enemy we’ve ever faced before... or greater than both of us combined.”
”Your words ring true as always, sister. Rest assured, however. I’m not likely to lose sight of any of this any time soon.”
She nodded reassured, then lay in bed. I lay beside her, after checking on the colt’s physical and magical states. Surely enough, he was still sleeping, and his magical binds were undisturbed as of yet.
I continued, "I choose to think of this less as a gamble, and more as a win-win situation. Either we help him become better, or we become forced to use the Elements to imprison him. He’ll still be alive, which will be more than what he could say about what his fellow humans would’ve wished for him...” I sighed. ”Can you truly believe what they’ve done to him?”
”I’ve studied humans, Luna. We both have. But until tonight, I was never aware of the extent of the cruelty they’re capable of.”
”Indeed. No wonder they’re so wide-spread through reality. They’re more versatile than any creature, more... stubborn.”
”Not just that," Tia offered. "They’re capable of incredible cruelties, as well as mind-boggling kindness. But that’s not what drove me to wanting to help him.
”Humans can be cruel, but they’re not the only ones. All creatures are capable of cruelty. Even in our ponies, I’ve seen it. The potential.” All this time she continued to watch the colt warily, almost nervously.
She trailed off. I moved to better see her in the eye. ”Is that the other thing that made you almost lose your dinner?”
”You’re still dwelling on that?” my sister offered, smiling tiredly.
”It’s not every day I see you finally drop your holier-than-thou attitude.” I brushed against her, eliciting a tired chuckle.
”I suppose I might’ve been caught a little off-guard as well. I always wondered what our ponies would be capable of. I was just not ready to finally see it tonight.”
”Why do you want to know so much?”
”Why else, but to learn from it.”
”...So you wish to learn from our guest?” I figured.
”I want to understand cruelty, true cruelty. I want to be able to know how anyone would ever be able to simply disconnect themselves to such a degree.”
”I’m not certain I want you to, sister.”
”It’s not out of no good reason. I want to understand it, so I can better counter it. So I can prevent it. I want to make sure what happened a thousand years ago never happens again. But also, I want to prove that even the darkest heart can be redeemed. That no matter how bleak it all seems, there’s a way to help others see the light.”
”You want to learn how to cure me of my Nightmare should I turn again?” I smirked.
”Or you me.” She brushed against me. ”Who knows? Eternity is a long time. Anything could happen.”
”Eternity is a long time...” I agreed, letting the moment stretch on.
Of course, Tia had to break the silence again. ”Perhaps we could afford extending our family.”
Her tone was rather suspect, I found. ”What’s that supposed to mean?” I eyed her carefully.
”Oh, nothing. I just thought you might be interested in guiding him more than anypony. After all, who else in all of Equestria knows what he’s been through better than you?”
I held down a shudder. ”I sense you’re getting at something, and I’m not sure I like it.”
She didn't miss a beat before answering. ”He’s a child now, Luna. He has the potential to change for the better, and he needs someone like you to build upon his miseries. Someone to nurture him.”
”...You want me to adopt him?” I raised an eyebrow.
”Do you not?” Her smile never fading.
The matter actually caught me by surprise. ”I... don’t know. I don’t know if I can, I...”
”Luna. Sweet sister. Trust me on this. If there ever was anypony who could help him, that pony couldn’t hold a candle to you.”
I got up on my haunches, as did Tia. Truth be told, this wasn’t the first time I was a mother. And during my exile, Celestia had time to add a couple more relationships under her belt as well. But this was different. He was not really a child, technically. Then again...
”What about his psyche? His physical body and mind are turning into those of a child. What would happen to the rest of him?”
”I think we both can put two and two together. His soul and memories will remain mostly the same, but his physiology will correspond to that of a normal alicorn colt.”
”This is all just unbelievable. It’s...”
”...Overwhelming?” Tia chimed in.
”...I need to get adoption papers. Give him a name... Rework my schedule! I can’t take care of a child if I’m too busy working nights! I need to reorganize the night guard, reschedule night court, make a public introduction...”
”We can both work on all of that tomorrow. For now, I think you’ll agree that his own introduction to his new world would hold more priority.”
I then noticed that she was looking persistently towards where our guest was in his bed. I followed where she was looking, and found him awake and up, trying to look our way despite having neither eyes nor active magic.
He looked aggravated, and sounded the same in his next words, ”Var abver ninua, sze?”(***)
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Author has delivered!
We require more of this... 'Souls Rebirth'. We assume we can trust thou to bring it?
6153122 You're insatiable...
This chapter is interesting, it's nice to see Celestia and Luna discuss about their seasons for helping the foal rather than just immediately adopt him. Also, the note comments, especially that one about politics, were entertains to read. The sisterly moment between the Princesses was a nice detail. Anyway, this chapter was awesome and I hope the next one comes soon.
6153133 Feed the beast a fish and it hungers for the whale...
And I am just saying it so you know it was great again, just not saying it explicitly, I do so implicitly
6153141 I'm already on my third draft for the next chapter. It's ready when it's ready.
6153150 Nice to hear, thanks for the support. 'Preciate it :)
Nice
It got really hard to determine who was talking at some points. Dialouge is great but it by itself is confusing.
6153251 Acknowledged. Working on it now. Won't happen again. Probably.
Anything else?
6153269
If you changed a few of the pronouns to proper nouns, or if you added more dialogue tags...
... then it would be much easier to read. It would also be a good idea to go back and tweak this chapter a bit.
6153435 This isn't the first draft.
I forgot about clarity within dialogue. There were plenty of other variables I was juggling aside from that. Seems there's always something I keep forgetting.
"Pediatric", not "pedriatic".
This begins to stand on its own. Very good, and very well tought out details. I'd bet three weeks until he cracks the seal.
6153133 Good Chapter! The one thing I saw a problem with was the dialogue, I often got confused who was talking there in the center parts. Good chapter though and I'm excited for the next one!
6153435 wait a minute... °stares pointedly°... you write the other necromancer fic i like.
6153854
I do, and I've seen you comment on it.
Cyanide-pill-type protection against magical tampering is now a plot point that you spent time and effort explaining in a dramatic fashion. This means that it is either important or you are full of shit.
Soooooooooooo
what about that thing where two alicorns were totally in his head?
I don't understand this mechanic in the way you have written it.
6153862 well its always good to know my comments aren't completely lost in the section.
6154207
I read every single comment. I love getting comments.
6154224 well im fairly sure i once read something along the lines "Your comments are my lifeblood" can't remember if it was you or not but it fits.
1. when they had secured the Empire they made NO attempt to find out if any of the Royal Family survived Sombra,
2. they kept at least a brigade stationed there,
3. they installed what can only truly be described as a puppet government with the old Captain of the Guards as husband/consort
4. there's probably at least four more to add to back up the calling of "BULLSHIT" on their "But we aren't trying to increase our territory, we're trying to "our helping them establish their presence again" and as far as I can tell have no plans on finding surviving Royals, or if they can't find surviving Royals because of Sombra or other reasons Help them form some government of their own, OR withdrawing stationed occupation forces.
While the other governments might not act any better in their place, tia and Luna don't have much of a defense on that they're better
Also, while Attila was no Saint by ANY description he was not bad enough to be added to the list along side Hitler or Stalin and I'm one of those that's always actually wondered of about the Jokers REAL level of insanity/sanity
Well, that was interesting, and I really liked the way you handled the princesses reasoning for keeping him around (and he still needs a name of some form). It was also interesting to note that Celestia's lack of familiarity with humans really showed in her assessment because the difference between the good and the bad is far smaller than it looks at first glance. After all, both Hitler and Gandhi had the same determination and willingness to do whatever it took to get the job done the way they believed it needed to be done.
6154556 You forgot to mention the fact that they installed a princess that Celestia partially raised on the throne.
Sweet shit bro, can't wait to see your rendition of the Necromancer's reaction to being adopted. It's like the quality of this story is syncing up with its predecessor's. It's like...
media.tumblr.com/3842762cc4a48498d415d281b9a39c63/tumblr_inline_nbvpoxLKE91s14nlv.gif
I've never read a story with the character, who's essentially a very powerful sociopath with sadistic tendencies, be adopted.
I am interested. Onwards, oh author person!
Too easy, I'm not gonna touch it.
6154556
1. How do you know? We totally did that... off screen. <Cough> Next question.
2. ...I fail to see a problem with that. I mean, there weren't soldiers crawling all over the place, doing whatever they wanted. Sure, it doesn't look good, but what else were we going to do in order to
annexmaintain the peace?3. Okay, that's actually a valid point. Or it would be, if the locals hadn't made both Shining Armor and Cadence out to be heroes, and asked them to stay.
4. But it was right there! What, did you expect us to not help them integrate into the pony way? It's like seeing a bag of bits at your feet and not picking it up!
Seriously now, their concerns might've been justified, but Luna obviously wasn't the type to hear any of it. And in the end, to be fair, they had a rather small kingdom. The other nations would've skinned them alive. So, Luna did have the moral high ground, but she does tend to have issues with facing less flattering truths.
Also, they didn't REALLY have any say in the matter anyway, since apparently Cadence was an immortal alicorn princess, which happened to be from the Crystal Kingdom. Probably. I'm also considering whether or not I want her to secretly be from Sombra's heritage. But that doesn't matter, and it shouldn't matter to anyone else, because she was an immortal alicorn princess, and as all immortal alicorn princesses, Cadence was destined to lead.
Yes, Luna would repeat, and put emphasis on the words "immortal alicorn princess" during their political meeting as well. A lot.
Attila wasn't that bad (although there's a chance of 1 in 200 of either one of us sharing his DNA. Gee, I wonder how that came to happen), but I was more going for, Sombra was kind of like pony Hitler, Attila was Tirek in accounts of ruthlessness and musculature, and I was looking for a pair for Discord, but fell on my ass. Do you happen to know of any famous whack jobs like him?... Nope, Hannibal Lecter was also fictional.Charles the Mad? Nah... I know! How about the Pope?
What do you think? Too much? Not enough?...
Fine. George Carlin.
6154179 There's a conflict of moral ethics in the next chapter. Is that enough, or do I have to kill him off now?
6155117 My work here is done.
Great chapter! Looking forward to more.
6155286
I...
didn't mention anything about a lack of ethical substance...
or suggest that the main guy should die in a fire
or even say that your magical mental defense mechanic necessarily should have killed him already
or even say that you grammar was wrong.
I ASKED if alicorns in the brain should count as a trigger for the mechanic and then said that your wording was unclear.
Your response is sarcastic in a way that suggests that I am a dumb, overly negative hater. Quite frankly, the implication displeases me. Calm down. I am not a threat. You are among friends (or at least readers).
6155441 No, but that's what you implied. That since I explained his kill-switch, i'd need to use it. Like Checkov's gun.
Calm down, I was joking.
...Oh. Alicorns in the brain. I... huh. I didn't think about that. Hmmm... Gimme a sec to spin this.
6155441 I was honestly not trying to be offensive. I was just engaging in a little rough humor. If I came off as defensive or spiteful, sorry.
Consider it getting into character.
Regarding the matter of Celestia and Luna forcing their way in his head... well, we could say that they weren't assaulting the fort, that they were only in visiting mode. White flag and all. Can't go killing yourself every time someone decides to visit. It would make political meetings too entertaining.
I'm honestly still looking for input here. What do you think?
I see this a lot in pony stories, and it doesn't make sense to me why some ponies respond that they don't understand. How could someone not understand what that means? It is literally self explanatory.
The back and forth between Celestia and Luna got tremendously dull after the second part of the chapter. I don't know about anyone else, but I personally do not like how you write Celestia and Luna. It's subtle, but they just feel... dull I guess.
Your name is perfect, though. Bold promise indeed.
6155479 They didn't actively force there will on him so head no go boom? Seriously though a kill switch such as that has to be for active tampering like magical controlling a person to kill their child or some such. Not reading their mind or viewing their memoirs i would think that would be more passive since your basically reading from a book instead of rewriting it.
You have got my interest, as you did for the previous chapters.
I was, however, surprised by the author's notes... More precisely the part painting Hitler as the Devil himself. Now I'm sure most people reading this are already feeling an uproar of anger at this sentence, but that's precisely what puzzle me. I would have understand an irrational hatred of the man from people whom suffered greatly from the Third Reich - Jews, or the countries it invaded - but it would appear this epidermic reaction mostly come from the USA, from people who have nothing to do with atrocities the Nazis committed.
Now, I am not saying Hitler was a good guy - far from it. He was delusional, ruthless, and as the years went by had absolutely no issues with exterminating the 'undermensch' like cockroaches. I'm damn glad the bastard is dead. However, does that make him the very embodiment of every sins on the Earth - or, in your case, cruelty? No, really. He's not even the largest mass murderer of the twentieth century - he can't hold a candle to Mao and Stalin, among others, but even if he was, it is hardly the most cruel thing a man has ever done. Cruelty is personal, you see? It has little do to with scale. As for the people who tried to kill Hitler, it often had very little to do with kindness...
There are many candidates for that horrifying first place: the Inquisition, most mass murderers, Henry VIII of England, the list is endless.
6155840 He's not calling him the devil he specifically said Hitler had the devil's luck which is a phrase to denote someone who is unnaturally lucky; i know for a fact he had a minimum of 35 attempts on his life and escaped alive each and every time.
I mean come on.... 35 times that's astounding!!!! It also doesn't including any undocumented attempts on his life or ones where the documentation was lost due to the war. He just wouldn't die if that's not the devil's luck i don't know what is
6155840 Not as much embodiment, more of a prime example. I could've gone on, exemplifying every single atrocity humanity committed, but I wanted to be brief and clear. In retrospect, I might've come off as closed-minded and narcissistic, but that impression was a side effect. My main focus was to clear out any accusations of misanthropy that I could just sense were coming.
I actually thought the parallel was kind of neat. You think people aren't capable of doing some dumb shit? Here's an example and shut up. People can be incredible assholes, or incredible humanitarians. Seems there's always something, though. But I think I'm okay with being called a moron rather than a misanthrope.
Hitler was an example of what happens when the wrong people get to lead, but he's not even the first. Obviously. There have been wars since humanity existed, and not a single one was out of a good reason. There's never a good reason to start a war. It just so happens that the fuhrer had become a more commonly understood, clear cut example... and that I didn't feel like going too much into this essay.
Obviously, Attila wasn't the god of ruthlessness either. I didn't meet the guy, so I can't exactly proclaim him that. Maybe Ghengis Khan was worse? Maybe Vlad Tepes was worse? Who gives a shit which one was worse? I mean, besides the people they killed?
Obviously, Carlin doesn't deserve being in the same list with everyone else, though. Seems my little play on metaphors and figureheads wasn't worth the trouble.
6155840 You do make a good point, though. Where Hitler allowed the internment camps, Stalin would eat fine dinner in a restaurant while people were starving right outside... Yeah, Hitler was less the champion of cruelty and just a mad dog. Stalin was called that way for a reason.
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My comment was mostly fueled by my astonishment at the general and kind of irrational hatred people in the US have against Hitler in particular. I'm French, you see, and it always stunned me to see that while he is not loved by anyone with a sane mind the American people see him as the antichrist or something equally evil and mystical.
While Carlin was obviously a tongue-in-cheek reference, I felt the jab at Hitler was stated as it was a truth of the universe: roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler is the devil himself - do you see what I mean?
Anyway, I do not believe you need to fear accusations of misanthropy. I've been around this fandom long enough (since late 2010) to know you can state mankind is nothing but a bunch of rashtag killers and everybody would node wisely in approval. I suppose we would look that way, once compared to the utopia Equestria is...
6156084 it's funny how right you are, actually. But no, don't worry, I'm not the type to go out of my way to cross out words from the bible and replace them with nazi ones. I might try using water markers on the coloring pages from the illustrated bible, though.
As a general warning, don't do that. Water markers tend to go through the page, appear on the other side. Always use crayons.
I do seem to be the type to make passing remarks on such sensitive subjects a little too liberally for my own good, though. Lesson learned. Next time I'm not feeling like being sensitive about sensitive subjects, I'm slightly more likely to take a break and walk away.
Unless I was in a hurry to say something, like I was here, in which case I can't be held responsible for what wonderful baubles of pure intellect I might produce. It just so happens that I didn't have time to measure every single one of my words through a needle's eye after I had already submitted and noticed how problematic the end result appeared.
And no, I'm not American. I just didn't think much of what I was saying in this particular instance. Quite troublesome, actually. You know how you don't know you're doing something wrong until someone points it out. Even when someone calls you a jerk, you're likely to not believe him anyway.
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The whole problem with a mind attack is that it alters your values. As such, there can be no "white flag" status without express, conscious approval on his part. People can't just default to "friend", since they could then stop him from wanting to take away their friend status. Since Luna and Celestia were in his head, entrance and information retrieval has to be acceptable. The problems mostly start when someone starts changing things in the brain, so a defensive spell triggered by alteration could work, except that name magic exists. Name magic is a method external to the individual which alters the state of the mind by way of deleting universal definitions of people (and maybe things). Any time name removal magic is used, a spell scrubs every mind in existence of something.
It seems really hand-wave-ish to have him offhandedly mention in the next chapter that he left a back-door in his head and it seems even worse to imply that that magic just doesn't count for some vague and made up reason. Since he wouldn't just leave a door open if he could close it, he must be incapable of blocking the effects of name magic and retaining deleted information. You mentioned moral conflict in the next chapter. Use that as an opportunity to have him explain his limitations in regards to name magic. After that is well described, explain the trigger more clearly using a suicide discussion or a discussion about how easy he should be to kill for anyone with mind-altering ability, such as a changeling.
Actually, since they eat emotion, they would be taking away a chunk of his thoughts or feelings if they fed on him. He might die just from getting close to them.
Lastly, does either of your universes have ghosts/possession?
Ah yes, because madness is always a great alternative.
Are they talking about a seal on his magic or some kind of mind magic(which we've established isn't possible)?
Damn it, now that you've mentioned Hitler had "the Devil's luck", I can't help but wonder if that was literal.... he does seem like that kind of person who'd do that...
6156769 Necky doesn't have just one absolute mental and spiritual defense. He has multiple specialized seals for multiple different kinds of threats. Parley is never a threat, and since he's always up for trying to make others see how idiotic they are (it's the little things in life) as well as willing to extract information from worthy adversaries (at least powerful enough to afford long distance communication) via simple interrogation techniques. You'd be surprised the things you find out about a guy when you make them think you already know what they know.
That, and he's really lonely and rather have anything interrupt the monotony.
It's not a backdoor. More of a balcony window which he can choose to close at any time.
6157896 It's not mental, it's external. He could never quite counter having his magic taken away from him. After all, there's nothing much you can do with an empty fuel tank. The same way he can't think enough with a compromised mind, he can't do anything should his magical intake gets cut off.
Luckily, Luna and Tia had no intention of rendering him completely powerless. Only stopping him from using dark, or otherwise harmful magic.
Consider how snake venom works. Beyond just saying "oh, it kills people" and leaving it at that. You could stand to look into it a bit further. Specifically, the way it works to paralyze the prey. It does that by blocking the synapses. Luna and Tia did essentially that, only instead of blocking his neural connections, they plugged his intake of primal arcana, only selectively.
6157878 Because there are so many examples to pick from. Tirek? Eternity until he learns his lesson. Discord? Eternity until either the bearers get changed, or he stops being insane. Luna? A thousand years... wait, what?
6157888 He's an alicorn now. He can take it same as Luna. Also, what? Just because Discord is insane and Tirek is an asshole makes it okay to drive them further down the drain?
Either way, yes, madness is still better than killing him. He's already insane anyway. A few more years of being sent to your stone prison room might be extreme, but what the fuck else could they do? Let him kill off ponies? They have to try something to rehabilitate him.
6156084 You been around HIE a lot? Most readers of it have a great distaste for misanthrope language.
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I tend to avoid the genre. As a rule of thumb, it is filled with stories of poor quality.
Note I did not say all HiE stories are bad - I just know through experience that self-inserts and other shenanigans of the sort are quite hard to pull off nicely, not to mention dozens of other things that factor in to pull down the average story.
6159354 Aye I run a group called 'the good HIE list ' which makes those easy to find.
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When I said "backdoor", I was talking about name magic's ability to alter minds, not mind reading or dream walking or visions.
My suggestion for making the dreamwalking safe was a disambiguation between
mind reading/mind speeking, (safe)
and mind alteration/mind control.(danger)
Basically, we seem to be on the same page at this point.
Also, for future use, it should be possible for a small group of ponies to preform a denial of service attack on him. His only defense would be forfeiting his telepathy for awhile, or taking them out somehow. He could make them all sad with memories or send out some sort of mana wave, but the mana wave option implies that the ponies could learn to do the same thing back to him later and the memories would stop working later... Sorry, I thought the phrase "combat by brain" and then this happened. It would also require that non-alicorn ponies can even do this sort of thing. I'ma go back to youtube
6155117 I will because he probably DOES have quite a pickle.
6159796 Oh.
Okay...
Thanks for the input. I realize a "white flag" specifically would probably be a bit too convenient for others to not misuse. I'll make sure to be more explicit.
The protagonist could feel a communication spell worming its way around and in-between his defensive seals. Since they held none of the commands present in mind altering/mind control spells, they passed through without issue.
Sounds good?
Regarding naming magic, that's a whole different oatmeal that I'd need to get into some other time. Suffice to say, the protagonist already has that covered.
Regarding your ideas for a mana bomb, he doesn't actually have the same talents and proclivities as a battlemage. The most he'd be able to do would be a wave of death magic, which was why the princesses' magic plug-seal was a good thing. And I wouldn't go out of my way and call it telepathy that he has. Without spoiling what I already had planned for the next chapter, his thing is something different.
6160005 You'd know, wouldn't you? Pervert.